Chapter 11: A hidden truth

Asami had not slept well, if she had slept at all. The two weeks were gone and she had not even found a trace of project squirrel toad! She had searched everywhere; the last conclusion was that her father had hid the papers in his secret factory. And thus the papers were buried under hundred tons of hardened concrete, which meant lost forever. What terrified her most was the fact that Colonel Chun had not shown up to collect the documents. That could just mean he knew she did not have them, didn´t it? Asami listlessly sipped on her tea, she frowned as the steaming liquid burned her mouth. She had sent one of her gardeners carrying letters towards air temple island and police headquarters. Her friends should be warned, even though they would not be her friends anymore once they had read the letters. It was justice that she lost the blood stained trade empire her father had built, maybe being in jail would make the feeling of guilt go away. She stared at the chicken sow curry in front of her and blinked. The radio was playing the newest of price Wu´s songs. Suddenly the music stopped in the middle of the well-known tune.

The squeaking voice of Shirou Shinobi was ringing through the speakers. The man did not sound jolly like usual. "Dear citizens of republic city. Today is a black day for the four nations. Unknown terrorists attempted an attack on the well-known Republic all school´s night. Their claim to operate in the name of squirrel toad, but no further motives have been revealed at the moment." He reported gravely. Asamis heart stopped as a pained squeak escaped her throat. That – that couldn´t be true! Why would Colonel Chun do this? He could not simply have attacked faultless citizens, could he? He still was a military man! "It is reported that wargranades were launched amidst the unsuspecting crowds, Chief Lin Bei Fong reported that five officers were killed in the line of service. Also more than thirty civilians died and many more were injured. In honor of the deceased we may rise in silence…" there was just the sizzling static of the radio.

Asami sat there dazed, silent tears streaming out of her eyes. After a felt eternity Shirou Shinobis voice again cackled out of the speakers. "Dear citizens of republic city, since two of the culprits have escaped the grasp of justice the republic police force is thankful for any leads that may help to the arrest of the criminals, who seemingly have a military or martial artist background. They are considered armed an extremely dangerous, so please contact the police at once. This is Shirous Shinobi of republic city radio. In honor of today's victims the radio station will be shut down after this broadcast – my heart is with those who mourn their losses." With this the radio died, not even static remaining. Asami started crying, while mumbling incomprehensive things. She never had wanted this – why – she had tried everything that was in her power. Colonel chun had to know she could not do more than searching. If she just her father had not died on that fateful day – nothing of it would have happened. Asami sato threw her curry against the wall yelling, she also flipped the heavy wooden desk and then walked towards the phone panting from exhaustion. She picked up the earpiece and called the police, like she should have done two weeks ago! There was a strange officer on the phone. "Here´s Asami Sato, sent an officer of the organized crime division. It´s about the squirreltoad." She croaked out visibly shaken. "Ok Miss Sato – stay where you are. Are you in Danger?" the officer asked concerned, Asami simply hung up and started sobbing again, being arrested would not cut this. She had fucked up big time, people had died because of her stupid pride! She was nothing short of a cold blooded murderer.

She was like her father! Asami had barely managed to compose herself as somebody knocked on the wooden door of her dining room. "Please enter." She responded in a flat voice. She had not expected the man who entered, in fact she stumbled back almost losing her composure. Mako Chou seemed worried. "Hey." He responded and closed the distance to hug the young woman, who shoved him away with a surprising strength. Mako blinked disturbed. "What happened Asami? He asked concerned." Hadn´t he gotten the letter, why was there no disgust in his eyes? "Arrest me Mako. I- I´m…" her voice cracked. Makos brows furrowed. "What nonsense are you spouting Asami. I´m not arresting you just because you´re behaving eccentric!" he snarled nearing the limit of his patience. "I understand that you´re hurt because your father died, but that doesn´t give you the right to lie to me! If you want…" Asami interrupted him. This short tempered idiot knew nothing – but she had lied to him – she had lied to everyone. "It´s not about my father Mako!" she yelled trembling. "It´s about, about Colonel Chun and his Dai Li , it´s about these man killing people cause I can´t swallow my pride!" she yelled ashamed. Asami Sato had never felt so shameful, weak and exposed in her whole life. Makos face dropped in shock.

"Wh-what are you talking about Asami?" he asked doubtful. He seemingly did not want to believe what she had told him, which hurt her more than anything else. This man still was believing she was a good person, and she had to tear down these illusions! "M-my father developed black powder driven projectile weapons, like the experimental cannons on the prawling tiger, just so small a man can carry them. He did so for the earth nation army and got half of -THIS for it!" Asami yelled furious. Mako blinked and cursed under his breath. "That´s your father's guilt! Not your´s Asami, you can´t always take up other people's responsities!" Mako rumbled. "Two weeks ago this Dai Li Agent came and delivered contracts to me. Contracts that showed my father had to deliver weapons up till now. Fully operational for military service." She mumbled, barely keeping the sobs out of her voice. Mako was white as a sheet and seated himself on a chair.

"Why didn´t you tell me? What does the Dai Li want from you?" his voice was hurt and lost, she could not look into Makos eyes anymore. "T-THAT DOESN´T MATTER! What matters is I didn´t.." her voice trembled. "I-I searched for these things, but they´re not to be found! Chun had said he would kill you all in two weeks when I didn´t deliver Mako. He admitted the lead bit murders. They were just done so I´d believe him…What should I have done Mako… How can you catch a ghost? Tell me!" she ranted feeling somehow relieved. "I I should have made something up. Drawn some blueprints! You´ve gotten my letters. I sent letters today." She spoke turning more and more frantic. Mako was not saying anything, he was not even yelling at her, for Asami that was worse than being beaten to a pulp. "H-How should I know he´d kill innocent p-people with no connection to me!" she balled her fists. "I-I´m a murderer…p-please. Please take me to jail Mako, I – I don´t deserve a life. I – I sh…sh…" Asami Sato started crying silently while fighting for her countenance. Mako Chouw still was sitting in the chair, his face buried in his hands. Suddenly there were smashing noises accompanied by the sound of splintering wood.

Asami wiped tears away, her friend was furiously smashing the chair to splinters. Asami looked at him in shock. Would Mako try to kill her? She deserved it for sure, she hoped she would not try to defend herself when he turned on her! She should have been burned along with her mother. It was in that moment she knew what she had to do. She had to accuse herself, she had to give these people closure, that was the least she could do! She had to let go of everything, there were tears welling in her eyes, maybe she still could make something right! Still she was shocked as Mako turned, his chest heaving. "I´m shocked Asami, shocked and very, very angry." He responded barely restrained. She hung her head while blushing. How could he still talk to her, why was there still no disgust in his voice? "Why didn´t you tell me? Why FOR FUCKS SAKE!" his voice was hoarse. "I thought you were trusting me again. Well can´t blame you for not doing so." He admitted in a bitter voice. "But still you – you could´ve told SOMEBODY! Korra, Lin, Tenzin, your butler ANYONE! You stubborn idiot think you can do anything alone? Gods you could´ve been killed, abducted, raped and spirits know what!" he worked himself up.

"If your bastard of a father wouldn´t be dead already, I swear by Koh I would burn that son of a bitch to crisps! And if I get my hands on this Dai Li fuckwads…" he growled hateful. "Why, why in all heavens did you think that YOU would be at fault for these contracts?" he asked her. Asami was feeling like her heart was torn to shreds by millions of razors – why was Mako still caring? She did not deserve this, she deserved hatred and disgust for what she had done! She sniffed, her nose full of snot. "I-I thought you´d all hate me." She admitted with a small voice that was barely audible. There was silence. "I-I´m not arresting you Asami. I´m…going…or I´ll… explode." Mako blurted and stormed out of the room, Asami heard a rough hitch in his voice. Had she made Mako CRY?! Asami rose feeling cold, like a walking corpse. No – a life in jail would not cut this.

She had committed high treason, she had let terrorist run around and murder people, because she behaved like a stubborn, proud child! She owed it to the picture Mako had held in his heart. The picture of an honorable and passionate woman who cared for others, she owed it to him, to Korra – to the people who had been her family. Now, as she had reached this conclusion she felt oddly at peace. Committing seppuku was something reserved for the honorable. She had to die through hanging, like the criminal she was! Nevertheless, she had to explain her deeds to her friends, those good people would not understand her, they still wanted to believe she was innocent – Asami was shedding silent tears again. Asami rose walked towards her writing desk, as she arrived her tears had ebbed. She picked a piece of expensive, white paper, opened a new bottle of ink and also used a fresh brush. Then she started writing her confessions, the words were streaming out. The only thing she wrote hesitating was the deletion of the Sato name. But with her gone there would nobody remained who carried the family name, so it didn´t matter what the world thought of the satos! She sealed the letter and went on to write what was difficult. She would limit the letters to those closest to her, to Korra and Mako. Bo Lin most likely would not understand, no matter how clearly she explained herself, so she decided to not even try.

Bo was a tough guy, even though he was crying even faster than most girls he was probably the strongest person in Team Avatar. He broke down, let go, rose and moved on, Asami had seen it. He was no emotional infant like she and Mako, nor was he too bolt for his own good, like Korra was.

The letter for Korra was a pain, Asami needed three glasses of fire cognac to get it done, also there were some smeared signs because she had cried like a polar bear dog at new moon. Tipsy as she was she started writing Mako´s letter.

Dear Mako,

I know that I have hurt you badly. I just could not tell you about my father's deeds, because I felt ashamed and feared to lose you. I know that our relationship has been far from easy but we never gave up on it for real. I know that it is important for you to know it. I have forgiven you for cheating with Korra, I fully understand why you fell for her – I guess I might have fallen as well if I were a man. And I have forgiven you for a long time, nevertheless I am happy you apologized for a second time. She has this capturing personality, and plain speaking she is hot. I hope that the two of you will work someday because you need somebody to keep you grounded dear Mako.

Asami poured herself another drink and gulped down the burning liquid in an instant. Since the letters would arrive when she was already dead there was no reason to hold back. Her old feelings were simmering up again, even if they were calmer. Asami was believing that the two of them would have had a chance if this thing had not happened, so there was no need for embarrassment.

Since I am not around to try it anymore I hope Korra does. I am writing you this letter because I want you to understand my decision and know that I love you as I walk into court. I want you to know that I don´t like the thought of dying but I think I can give the people some of their peace. A life in jail would not have the same effect ant furthermore I feel like it would be a worse punishment. When you get this letter I am gone, but I don´t want anybody to cry after me. I will do better in my next life; I promise you I will. If you still share good memories about me I will be glad. I hope you can at least forget my crimes one day. I really am sorry for not trusting in you like you deserved Mako, but I was just ashamed and feared to push everyone away from me, so I kept silent. I guess you know that trait from somebody else, right? I don´t know if it matters to you but I will wear your scarf when I´m facing my judgement, it will give me the strength I need. I know how much it means to you, undoubtedly it is the greatest gift that anybody had given me in my life. I guess I still am a selfish bitch for not giving it back to you. Sadly, I can´t give it back, I really am proud to know you Mako – you have grown a man I could look up to. You´ll be a great cop, I´m sorry to leave you all so soon, tell that to your brother, to the others – please look out for them in my stead.

In love Asami

Authors note: Well it´s short but it´s intense, at least I hope that.