September 11. He left work at six o'clock and drove over to the Potter's house. Bessie answered the door when he knocked, somewhat surprised to see him. After letting him inside, he found Joey on the living room couch. "Hey, how was work?" he greeted with a smile, sitting down next to her.
"The worst," she grumbled. "You?"
He set two videos down on the coffee table. "It was pretty good for a Saturday."
She eyed the movies. "And what did you bring over for our viewing pleasure? Porn?"
"You wish," he deadpanned. Then he smiled. "To honor our first official weekend as real, actual friends, I brought some new releases on VHS: Varsity Blues and Cruel Intentions. I saw both of 'em in the theater with Andie and she really liked them. Have you seen them?"
"Nope." She looked over at him, eyeing him up and down. "What's got you in such a good mood?"
He smiled, his stomach doing somersaults from excitement. "Andie's getting out of the clinic on Friday morning."
Joey gave him a look of surprise. "Really? That's great, Pacey."
"I know," he said, feeling giddy. "I can't wait. I'm gonna ask her dad if I can pick her up Thursday after school and surprise her."
"Aww. It'll be nice to see her again. I have to admit I've rather missed her perky enthusiasm."
He let out a breathy laugh. "If her dad says it's cool, you wanna go with me to pick her up? We'd have to leave before school lets out, so you'd miss your afternoon classes."
She shrugged, pursing her lips. "Uh… yeah, sure, okay. I've never been to Rhode Island. So, when did she tell you the good news?"
He reached for a video. "Um… she didn't. Jack told me this morning. I suppose Andie will tell me all about it when she calls tomorrow."
Just then there was knock on the door. Joey turned a startled look in its direction. "That'll be for us," he said, grinning at her. "Meet me back here with two plates." He got up from the couch and went to the door, opening it to find the delivery guy on the other side. "That'll be thirteen-eighty," the driver said. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet and handed over the cash. He returned to the living room carrying a large pizza, setting it down on the table next to the plates and some napkins. As he sat down on the couch, he watched Joey pop a video cassette into the VCR and smiled.
When she took her seat next to him, he flipped open the pizza box, the aroma making his mouth water. "Dig in."
When the second movie began, Joey started yawning. Halfway through, she leaned against him with a tired sigh, and it wasn't long after that she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. Rather than shove her off, he wrapped an arm around her and listened to her quiet breathing while he kept watching the movie. He didn't remember much after that, not until his eyes fluttered open and saw Bessie standing over him in her pajamas with a scowl on her face and crossed arms. He glanced at the TV screen—it was bright blue. He looked over as Joey sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"Pacey, it's almost midnight," Bessie said in a stern tone. "Don't you think you should get on home now?"
"Can't I spend the night?" he yawned, feeling groggy. "I'm too tired to drive."
Joey kicked his foot. Bessie knitted her brows. "What? No. You live like five minutes away. Go home, Pacey. I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are."
He groaned as he stood up. "I doubt it," he muttered under his breath. He made his way over to the front door.
"Thanks for the pizza and the movie night," Joey said as she followed him. "It's been a while since I had one of those. Even though I think I missed the entirety of Varsity Blues."
"No problem." He grasped the doorknob and opened the door, before turning back to her. "Uh… you wanna hang out tomorrow? I have work and then I gotta be home for Andie's phone call, but I can come over after."
"Sure," she sighed. "We can finish watching the movie."
He nodded and then went out the door. "Goodnight, Bessie," he called out in an exaggerated tone before the door closed behind him. He made for the Witter wagon, but then changed his mind. He was too tired. Instead, he walked around to the back of the house. There he found Joey waiting for him, standing in front of her open window. "How'd I guess?" she smirked. Chuckling, he climbed inside her bedroom and took his spot on her floor.
September 16. After putting his backpack away, he closed his locker just as the lunch bell rang to see Joey's sudden appearance on the other side of it. She crossed her arms, looking pleased with herself. "Aren't you glad you don't have to take your books home because we finished all our homework in Study Hall this morning?"
"It's a thrill," he snarked.
She pursed her lips. "Well, you should be happy that I went to our teachers and got the assignments, so we're not going to miss out by skipping our afternoon classes. The thrill will be when you get your report card and are rewarded for all your hard work. Weren't you pleased with your good grades last year?"
He shrugged in defeat. "Yes, Jo. I was. Okay, let's go." He turned to head towards the entrance.
"Can't we eat before we go, Pacey?" she asked, grasping his hand and pulling him back. "Please? I'm so hungry, I'm willing to eat what passes for food at this school."
"Okay, but make it quick. We still gotta go to my house to get the car."
They walked together to the cafeteria and went through the lunch line. He watched Joey load her tray with salad and a sandwich, and then grabbed two drinks. When they sat down at a table, he slid over her can of Diet Coke while he popped open his Coca-Cola. She took a bite of her sandwich and then said, "Aren't you going to eat?"
He blinked. "Talking with your mouth full isn't an attractive quality, Potter."
She threw her hand in front of her mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm starving," she said with garbled speech.
"Swallow first, then talk." She rolled her eyes. "And no, I'm not eating. I'm too nervous to eat."
Dawson then entered the cafeteria and they watched him sit down with Jen and Jack. "You can go hang out with them for a while before we leave," Joey suggested. "If you want. I'm sure it's more interesting than just waiting for me to finish eating."
He shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine right here."
She averted her eyes from his, fighting a smile, and returned to her food. Twenty minutes later, they were walking out of school. After he pulled his bike out from the rack, he turned to see her throwing a sarcastic look in his direction. "You've got to be kidding me," she said.
"What?"
"How are the two of us going to get to your house on one bike, Pacey?"
He smirked. "You're gonna ride my handlebars."
Joey's brows knitted and she squinted at him suspiciously. He then strode the bike and gripped the bars. "Come on."
"I'm not going to do that. We'll just end up falling and I have no desire to be scraped off the pavement."
"Why are you so scared of everything, Joey? You're like a skittish kitten—afraid of your own shadow."
She crossed her arms and scowled. "I am not!"
"Would you get on the damn bike? We're wasting time."
She huffed. "Fine. But if we end up going to the Emergency Room with injuries, know that it's all your fault."
He rolled his eyes. "Come over here, step over the front wheel, and then sit on the handlebars." She did as he instructed, placing herself between his arms and tightly gripping the bars. He tried to ignore the fact her ass was on his hands. "Okay, now lean back against me." Although hesitating for a moment, she leaned back a little. Pushing off a few times with his foot to get the bike going, he then started pedaling down the school drive.
"Ahhh!"
He laughed as he went faster, and soon she was laughing, too. It wasn't long before she leaned fully back against him, allowing him to support her. The scent of her hair filled his nostrils. She turned her head often to look at him, her brown eyes sparkling with delight.
Ten minutes later, they were pulling into the Witter driveway. He stopped the bike.
"Tired?" she asked.
"No, not really."
Joey climbed off the bike. She put her hand on his shirt over his heart and arched her eyebrows; it was beating like mad. He felt her warmth through the fabric before she moved her hand away.
"Okay, I'm a little tired," he admitted. "And nervous about Andie. I'm like a thirteen-year-old kid, huh?"
"It's cute," she smiled. "Your ears are red."
They walked the bike up the drive to the garage. He opened the door to find the Witter wagon was gone, and groaned. "She was supposed to be home from her errands by now," he said in an exasperated tone. He placed his bike inside and then closed the door again. He stared at the dark blue Ford SUV sitting in the driveway that belonged to the Sheriff's Department. Shrugging, he started walking towards it. "Come on."
He opened the driver's side door and hopped in. Pulling the visor down, the keys spilled out and onto his lap. Joey got into the front seat beside him and put on her seatbelt. "Won't you get into trouble for this, Pacey?" she questioned.
"Depends on my Pop's mood."
They were soon on the highway heading for Providence. When they reached the state border, they were greeted by the sign, "Welcome to Rhode Island: The Ocean State."
Joey gripped his arm excitedly. "I've never left Massachusetts before!"
"Stick with me, Potter, and you'll go places," he smirked.
"Next stop: mental health clinic."
He threw her a look. "And I'd be more than happy to sign you over to them, believe me. They could help you work out your issues."
"Ha. Ha. Ha."
A few hours later, after they'd retrieved Andie from the hospital, they pulled up outside her house. Undoing his seatbelt, he hopped out of the car and he and Joey helped carry her belongings up to the front porch while Andie carried them inside the house. Joey was closing the rear doors when Andie walked back out to the car. He reached for her and she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I'll drop Joey off home and then I'll come back," he whispered in her ear. "I thought, uh, maybe I could spend the night." Somewhere behind them he thought he heard Joey clear her throat. He fought an eye-roll.
"You can't, Pacey," Andie replied, frowning.
His guts tied into knots again. "Why not? You don't want me to?"
She sighed, averting her eyes from his. "No, of course I want you to. It's just that my dad is here. He lives here now. You can't sleep over anymore."
A wave of disappointment began sweeping over him but he pushed it away. "Well, that's okay. I understand. Do you wanna go out and get something to eat? Maybe go down to our spot and walk around?"
"I'm really tired, Pacey. It's been a long day. I just want to change into my pj's and get into bed. Tomorrow will be my first day back in school and I'm nervous."
He rubbed her back and sighed. "I understand."
She smiled, yet it didn't reach her eyes. "I'll see you in the morning at school, okay?"
"Yeah." He gazed down at her. "I love you, Andie." He bent down to kiss her but she turned slightly at the last second and he kissed her cheek.
"I love you, too, Pacey," she replied quietly, not looking him in the face. She then turned and walked away. He stood watching until she disappeared behind her front door, his guts twisting into knots so fierce he thought he might be sick. He suddenly felt like crying, but didn't know why. Behind him, he heard a door open and shut. Sighing, he returned to the car.
The drive from Andie's house over to Potter's was a silent one. When they arrived, Joey turned and stared at him, but he wouldn't look at her. "What's the matter, Pacey?"
"I don't know."
"Is it Andie?"
He sighed. "Something's not right, Jo."
She frowned in sympathy. "Well, she's probably nervous to be back here after spending all summer away. And it's not like she spent the summer on the beach. Everyone knows she was in a mental hospital, and tomorrow she's going to walk into school knowing everyone knows. That can't be easy. I'm sure she's scared. Just give her some time."
"No, that's not it. Something's wrong."
"Pacey, I'm sure it's nothing…"
"You don't know her like I know her, Joey," he retorted.
She shook her head and opened the car door. "Okay. Well, goodnight, Pacey. Thanks for bringing me along on your little road trip. See you tomorrow. Are you going to give me a ride to school, or no?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Depends if there is a car available or not."
Joey slid out of the seat and closed the door behind her. She then leaned on the open car window. "You've got your bike, though, right?"
He turned to look at her. She smiled, her eyes sparkling. He snorted. "Yeah. I'll see you in the morning, Jo."
The next day, Andie was all gung-ho on attending the Pep Rally that night. She had insisted that he pick Joey up and bring her along with them. This only strengthened his suspicions of her seeming avoidance of being alone with him. The knots in his stomach wouldn't go away and he soon learned they were entirely justified. He sat inside the car, parked in the student lot of the high school. His heart was breaking as he held back the tears. He refused to cry. He was too angry to cry.
He watched as people began spilling out of the front doors, talking and laughing as they departed the rally. Several minutes passed, and he then saw Jack and Andie walk out. She appeared inconsolable and her brother seemed to be trying to get her to talk to him. Jen and Joey appeared and hovered around Andie, no doubt also trying to find out the reason for her tears. A feeling of guilt settled in his stomach, which only made him angrier. He saw Andie begin to speak and their eyes widen in shock. Joey instantly turned to face the parking lot; she was looking for him. Her gaze soon found the Sheriff's vehicle and she walked away from the others without a word.
She was soon opening the passenger door and getting into the seat beside him. Her brown eyes gazed at him tenderly, full of sympathy. It only made him feel worse. "Pacey, I'm so…"
"I don't want to talk about it, Jo."
She said nothing more and quietly buckled her seatbelt. He turned the ignition and soon they were on the road heading home. After several minutes of silence, she spoke. "Well, you missed quite the show in there."
He scoffed.
"Courtesy of Dawson and Eve," she sneered.
Taking his eyes off the road for a moment, he glanced at her with furrowed brows.
Joey nodded. "Yeah. So, during the showing of his film promoting the football team, the screen started going up and then there he was with Eve, basically in the middle taking each other's clothes off. And of course, everyone saw and started cheering like the brain dead morons they are."
"What?" He was shocked, and impressed. Well, good for him. Then he noticed the look on her face. "I'm sure that couldn't have been easy for you to see."
She sighed, and they both chose silence for the remainder of the drive.
On Monday afternoon, there was a knock on his front door but he didn't move off the couch. Several more knocks. He listened as his mom made her way to the door to answer it. "Well, if it isn't Josephine Potter," his mother greeted cheerfully. He groaned. "What brings you to our house?"
"Hi, Mrs. Witter," he heard Joey reply. "Um, Pacey wasn't in school today. I haven't seen him since Friday night."
"He's not feeling too well, but you can come in and see him."
"Thanks."
He heard the door close and listened as footsteps approached the living room. "Pacey, honey, your little friend is here."
He shook his head, rolling his eyes as his mom went back to the kitchen. "What are you doing here, Jo?"
"You won't return my phone calls and then you didn't come to school," she replied, sitting down on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"Sounds like you've been worried about me." He arched his brows.
Joey scoffed. "Nothing could be further from the truth," she denied, yet she couldn't quite meet his eyes. She then reached inside her backpack. "I took the liberty of collecting your homework assignments for tomorrow and I brought them over."
"I knew there was a reason to live," he deadpanned.
She frowned. "Pacey, you can't just lay around and wallow."
Sighing, he didn't reply or move. He wanted to die. The one person in his life who never looked at him or treated him like a failure, the one person who loved him the most… What was the point? His heart was broken but he still hadn't shed a tear. Maybe he was already dead inside.
"You're going to come to school tomorrow, though, right?" she asked.
He stared at her chewing on her lip. "You miss me, don't you?"
Joey gave him a sarcastic look. "Please."
"Admit it, Potter. You miss having me around."
"You're delusional," she scowled. "I only worry about you falling behind and messing up your academic progress over a girl. The PSATs are in less than two weeks, you know?"
"Well, it was a girl who motivated the progress to begin with, so I call that coming full circle."
She rolled her eyes and shrugged in defeat. "Why did I bother? Well, don't come crawling to me when you're suddenly failing your classes and you need someone to help you dig out of the hole you created."
He watched as she grabbed her backpack and started waking away. "Joey!" She turned around. "Since you're missing me and all, I've decided to come to school tomorrow. I'll pick you up in the morning and we'll walk to all our classes together and sit next to each other at lunch and then I'll drive you home. I had no idea you wanted me around so badly, but I'll make the effort for your sake."
She thrust her tongue in her cheek, fixing him with a harsh scowl. "I hate you."
He laughed to himself as she walked out of the house. Then thoughts of Andie once again began swirling inside his head, plaguing him.
September 22. Just before the last bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, he stood by Joey's locker and waited. He soon saw her round a corner, scowling. He fought hard to keep his face passive. When she'd gotten into his car that morning, she'd been smiling and excited. By the time they'd arrived at school, she was starting to frown. He'd watched her scowl harden and deepen as the day progressed, just waiting for this moment.
"Hey, Jo," he greeted as she approached him. "How was your afternoon?"
She stared at him. Emotions flickered across her face—annoyance, anger, and finally hurt. "Have you figured out what today is yet?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders.
"Wednesday?" he replied, pursing his lips. His stomach was doing somersaults of anticipation.
Joey shook her head and crossed her arms. "You know what? It didn't surprise me at all that Dawson completely forgot what today is, or at least didn't care to remember since I'm not blond and my name doesn't rhyme with Steve. But I have to say that, for some strange reason I can't seem to pinpoint anymore, I expected more from you. Maybe because this happened to you earlier this year and so maybe you would know how it feels to have your friends forget. Or maybe because I thought you…" She paused, averting her eyes as the sentence trailed off. Then she squared her shoulders and returned her gaze to his. "Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. You're just as disappointing as Dawson."
He shrugged his shoulders, furrowing his brows into a confused expression. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Jo."
She pursed her lips into a thin angry line, turned from him, and started putting in the combination on her locker. He stood there staring, biting his cheek to keep from smiling. The instant she pulled the door open, confetti exploded in her face. Paper rainbows in yellows and greens and blues fluttered and drifted, coating her hair and clothes, as a bright pink "Happy Birthday!" balloon floated out of the locker. He burst out laughing.
"Oh, my God, Pacey," she laughed in disbelief as she stared down at the confetti all over her clothes and the floor. Then she threw him an accusatory look. "Why did you make me go all day long thinking you'd forgotten?"
"Payback is a bitch, Potter," he snarked, grinning at her.
She laughed. "Thank you, Pacey." Joey smiled, her eyes sparkling.
He shook his head. "The day isn't over yet."
Thirty minutes later, they were walking into the movie theater. When they got up to the window, he pulled out his wallet. "Two tickets for Love Stinks, please."
"'Love Stinks?'" Joey said. "I can't believe I'm taking a night off from studying for the PSATs for Love Stinks."
"It's a comedy," he grinned. "And a perfect title for the two of us, huh?" She rolled her eyes, fighting a smile. "You know, there is such a thing as studying too much, Potter. It's healthy to take a night off. Plus, it's your birthday. I think the occasion calls for a break."
After they retrieved their tickets, they made their way over to the concession stand. "What do you want? My treat."
Joey smiled excitedly. "Popcorn and a Cherry Coke."
"Any candy?"
She pursed her lips and shrugged indecisively. He then spoke to the cashier behind the counter. "Uh, we'll have a medium popcorn…" He turned to Joey. "Extra butter?"
She nodded, smiling. "Extra butter."
"And, uh… one small Cherry Coke and one small Sprite. Um… Twizzlers." He glanced at Joey. "Goobers?" She smiled. He turned back to the cashier. "And some Goobers."
When they got their snacks, they walked into the theater housing their movie. Looking around, he only saw a handful of people inside; they had their pick of seats. Joey chose a row halfway from the front and two seats directly in the middle. They snacked quietly through the previews. Sometime after the movie started, the popcorn bag was crumpled and placed on the floor next to their feet. He then looked over to see Joey rubbing her hands up and down her thighs.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"My hands are all greasy from the popcorn."
"Why are you wiping them on your jeans?"
"Because I don't have any napkins."
"Jesus, Potter. I can't take you anywhere."
She rolled her eyes.
When the movie ended, they exited the theater. He took a minute to look at the posters on display for upcoming releases, but then Joey grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the parking lot. "Come on," she said, still holding onto his hand as they made for the car. "I want to get some ice cream before it closes."
After parking at Reese's and hopping out of the car, he reached beneath the seat and retrieved a plastic bag. At the window, Joey ordered a Peanut Butter Cup Sundae with two spoons. They sat down together at an umbrella-covered table. Reaching into the plastic bag, he pulled out two cardboard crowns, glittering and pink and with "17" emblazoned on the front in silver.
Joey blinked. "I'm not wearing that."
"Oh yes, you are," he said, putting on his own sparkling crown.
She started giggling at the sight of him, but frowned when he handed over her own crown. She adamantly shook her head. "I loathe the color pink."
"I know. That's why I chose it."
She scowled.
"Come on, Jo."
"I'll look ridiculous."
"It's good to look ridiculous from time to time."
She huffed.
He pursed his mouth. "Has anyone ever told you that you take yourself way too seriously? You're too young to be this bitter. Try having fun for a change. You might like it."
Joey chewed on her lip. He kept grinning at her, waggling his brows. "Oh, all right," she sighed, and took the pink crown from his hand, setting it on her head. He smiled. Wearing their 17th birthday crowns, they then shared the sundae, and soon she was smiling, too. After they finished, he glanced over at the table next to them, where a married couple were having ice cream with their two small children. He pulled out a camera from the plastic bag.
"Ma'am?" He watched the woman turn to meet his eye. "Would you mind taking our picture?"
"Oh, my God, Pacey. No."
"Shush."
"Don't shush me."
The woman smiled and walked over, taking the camera from him. He stood up and moved over to Joey's side of the table before taking a seat next to her. He threw his arm around her shoulder.
"We look ridiculous, Pacey," Joey murmured. "Can't we at least take these stupid crowns off first?"
"No. The entire point of the picture is to have a memento of us celebrating your birthday with these stupid crowns."
She sighed. The woman moved towards them, holding up the camera. "Say cheese," she told them. Joey wrapped an arm around his waist and hugged him close while the picture was taken. It was only a brief moment, but just long enough for him to feel a flutter of butterflies in his stomach.
October. He walked out of school on Monday afternoon, heading towards the parking lot with Joey. The day had been all right—for a Monday. His bruised lip was healing and almost unnoticeable. The same was true for Dawson's eye. And seemingly overnight, Capeside High had become overrun with Homecoming fever. The big game was scheduled for Saturday at two o'clock, where the Homecoming Queen would be crowned, and then the dance in the school gym later that night. He and Joey had no intention of attending either.
"I feel like maybe we should support Jack, though?" he suggested. "And whatever passive-aggressive cheers Jen's got planned are bound to be at least somewhat entertaining."
She sighed. "I know, but… Ugh. Football games. Next thing you know, we'll be joining Yearbook and campaigning for Prom King and Queen."
He smirked. "We're already used to wearing crowns."
"Ha. Ha." She threw him a look, but she smiled, her eyes glinting with amusement.
He was suddenly accosted by Andie. "Pacey, I didn't want to say anything about this because it's none of my business anymore. I didn't want to pry or get involved and make you feel uncomfortable or make you upset. But… I can't help it, Pacey. How could you just walk out of the PSATs on Saturday? I mean it. How could you? You've worked so hard and now you're just throwing everything away."
"I'm not the only one who threw everything away, now am I?"
Joey's eyes widened and she started turning and backing away. He reached out and grasped hold of her wrist, preventing her from leaving him alone with his ex-girlfriend. Andie frowned at him, her eyes filling with hurt at his words. A pang of guilt churned in his stomach, only making him angrier. Why should he still feel guilty when he did nothing wrong? She was the one who ruined everything.
"But what about your future, Pacey?" Andie finally replied, trying her best to ignore his jab. "You have so much potential and you're so smart. You shouldn't let… recent events… derail you. I mean, this is self-sabotage. You owe it to yourself and your future to keep doing well."
"I appreciate the pep talk, Andie. But you're right, it's none of your business anymore." He then turned from her, still holding onto Joey's wrist, and walked away, pulling his friend along. He finally let go when they reached the parking lot. They quietly got into his mom's wagon. The drive to the Potter's house was a silent one. Sitting in their driveway, he put the car into park and she took off her seatbelt.
Joey turned to him. "You know, Pacey, you can still take the PSATs. There are other test dates posted in the Main Office. I know Dawson is going to. He'll have to if he wants to get into a top film school."
Emotion started rising up within him, and he tried to shove it down. "But what's the point? We both know I'm not getting into college."
"You don't know that," she retorted.
"Oh, but I do. Anyway, so what? College isn't for everyone, right? Not everyone enjoys school the way you do, Joey."
She shot him a look. "I don't enjoy school."
He arched his brows. "Were we, or were we not, once waist-deep in cold marsh muck hunting for snails partly because you got a ninety-eight on a test instead of a hundred?"
"That doesn't mean I like school, Pacey," she said, rolling her eyes. "It means I make sure I work my ass off to get the best grades possible so I don't get stuck in this town for the rest of my life."
"Yeah, like I will," he grumbled.
"No, you won't. Why should you end up stuck here? You can go anywhere, Pacey. Do anything."
His throat tightened with emotion, threatening to choke him. Hot tears pricked his eyes. He'd once had a dream for a future that included Andie and her dreams of Harvard. He once thought that with her help, the rest of his high school career wouldn't turn out an abysmal failure and he could even apply to some schools. There was bound to be at least one in Boston that would've accepted him, even if it was just a community college, which would've allowed him to be where Andie was. He would've been free from this town, free from his parents, and finally happy. Now, everything he'd once seen in his future had faded away. Where once a feeling of hope had buoyed him, it had been quickly replaced with feelings of loneliness, gloom, and longing. Longing for what? He didn't know, but the emptiness was crushing and he had no idea how to fill it.
"Pacey?" Joey said quietly. He heard the concern in her voice.
He shook his head, hands gripping the steering wheel, desperately trying to fight back the tears, and refused to look at her. She placed a comforting hand on his back. All of a sudden, the tears began to run down his face. Unable to fight it anymore, he hung his head and cried. The tears, the pain, and the pent-up anger that he'd buried along with his relationship with Andie were finally pouring out.
Joey slid across the seat. Keeping her palm pressed gently against his back, she laid her head on his shoulder and took hold of his hand, prying it from the steering wheel. "You'll be all right, Pacey," she whispered. "I promise." Her hand gripped his and she sat with him until the tears subsided.
October 8. On the Friday before the big Homecoming game, he walked with Dawson to English, their one and only class together. He filled his best friend in on his expedition with Joey that included skipping school and then getting caught. "And as punishment, Principal Green decided that Joey and I will don the mascot at the game tomorrow," he said.
Dawson laughed. "Oh, that reminds me. I noticed something the other day. Did you know that Joey has a picture of you in her locker?"
His stomach tightened. "What?"
"Yeah. You're wearing these pink things on your heads. I didn't get a good look. I just saw it in passing."
"Oh, yeah. The pink birthday crowns."
Dawson came to an abrupt stop. He halted and turned to see an expression of horror on his best friend's face. "Oh, my God, Pacey."
"I know."
"I completely forgot."
"I know."
Dawson frowned. "Why didn't you remind me?"
He shrugged. "Weren't you the one telling me that you and Joey needed to weave your separate paths through the woods called life or whatever that was you said?"
"Was she really upset?"
"Hmm. I think she made her peace with it, Dawson."
"I gotta make it up to her, Pacey. I feel terrible. I mean, she threw me a birthday party earlier this year and I completely ruined that. And now this."
They then took their seats in English class near Jen and Joey. Before the bell rang, Jack and Andie were hailed to join them. They got up from their seats on the other side of the room and walked over. To 'make it up to Joey,' Dawson ended up telling them all to meet him in the parking lot at the end of the day. When school let out, he and Joey walked out to the student lot, where they found Dawson and Jen waiting for them.
"Hey, guys," Joey greeted. "What's this plan you've cooked up?"
"We're going to make up for missing your birthday," Dawson told her. "So, it's a surprise."
"Yeah, now that I know the date, I won't forget next year," Jen added. "And Jack feels bad he couldn't make it. He's got practice. Andie, well…" She glanced at Pacey. He sighed. "Well, she said she has too much studying to do, but that she'll make it up to you another time."
Joey shrugged, her face turning red, and tucked her hair behind an ear. "It's okay. Really. I told you guys it's no big deal. We don't have to do anything. I had a great time with Pacey."
He pursed his lips, fighting a smile. His stomach fluttered.
Dawson glanced between them, and he almost thought he saw a glimpse of tension in his eyes. The memory of getting a basketball thrown at his face suddenly came to mind. "Well," his friend laughed uncomfortably. "I'm going to make sure you get the best belated birthday ever. Okay? Great. Let's go."
Watching Dawson and Jen turn around, he glanced at Joey and they exchanged pointed looks. They were soon in the back seat of Dawson's SUV, and after departing the school, it wasn't long before they arrived at a large complex with a sign that read, "Pirate's Cove Adventure Golf."
"Oh, no," Joey muttered. Seated next to her in the backseat, he shot her a sympathetic look.
After getting out of the car, they walked together towards the entrance. "You've got to be kidding me," Joey grumbled as Dawson acquired four clubs from an attendant once they were inside.
Their best friend turned and saw the look on her face. "What? We always have fun when we come here." Dawson handed her a club before turning to give out the others.
"Yeah, you do," she muttered under her breath.
The outdoor, eighteen-hole course snaked through a maze of dolphins and sharks, wind mills and lighthouses, bridges and pirate ships and waterfalls. The place was swarming with families and other teens on dates. Their own small group approached the first hole.
"Birthday girl goes first," Dawson declared happily. "I can keep score." He pulled out the paper and pencil.
Joey groaned.
By the time they got to the ninth hole, she was miserable. The worst she played the more Dawson laughed. "Come on, you can do it," their friend encouraged her as she teed up. "I know you can. Just concentrate." Yet when her performance did about just as well as the previous eight holes, Dawson couldn't contain his laughter. "Okay. My turn."
"I suck at this, Dawson," she complained as she stepped away so he could tee up. "Consider yourself completely and totally forgiven for forgetting my birthday if we can just quit now."
"We have to do the whole course, Joey. If we quit now, the scores are useless. Plus, I paid for all eighteen holes for four people."
He'd had about enough. "Okay, I have an idea." He took Jen by the shoulder and walked her up to Dawson. "Why don't you two go first and just play on. You'll get done faster. Me and Joey will keep playing and we'll meet you at the 18th hole. Sound good?"
She sighed.
Dawson and Jen exchanged looks and smiled, nodding. "Okay. Sounds good."
They hung back, allowing their friends to finish the ninth hole and move on to the next. He then turned to Joey. "I'll go first."
She nodded, frowning.
He teed up and then looked back at her, staring until she met his gaze. He held it and then looked down at the golf ball, before turning his gaze back at her. He gave her a pointed look and then turned his head to look at the target, back at the ball, and then back to her. She caught on, and moved forward, giving him her rapt attention. He swung and got a hole-in-one. Turning to her, he gave her a smile and an encouraging nod. She stepped forward and teed her ball.
By the time they reached the eighteenth hole, Joey was laughing. There they found Dawson and Jen waiting. "Hey, guys," he greeted them. "Having fun?"
"Yep," Joey replied.
He smiled. "Yeah."
"Okay, let's tally our scores before we do the last hole." He handed his paper to Dawson, who added up their scores and announced, "Me and Pacey are tied for first, followed by Jen, and Joey." He glanced at the two score sheets. "Wow, Joey. You did really well on the back half. That's great."
"No kidding," she snarked.
"So, Dawson, how about a friendly wager?" he asked, a strong desire to beat his friend suddenly welling up inside him.
The girls glanced between them.
"Sure. What did you have in mind, Pacey? Money or food?"
Joey. It was the first thing that popped in his head, confusing him, and he forced the thought away, not understanding where it came from. Clearing his throat, he nodded. "Uh… loser pays for drinks and snacks?"
Dawson smiled. "Deal."
He nodded and teed up. Glancing back at Joey for a moment, their eyes met and held. He then fired the golf ball at the target. Hole-in-one. He turned around with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Your turn, Dawson."
Later, he sat at a table with the girls, waiting for their friend. It wasn't long before they saw him walking towards them carrying a cardboard box filled with sodas, burgers, and fries. "Poor Dawson," Jen commented. "He really hates losing." Fighting a grin, he and Joey exchanged a smug look.
October 16. After finishing his Saturday shift at the video store, he made his way to the yard to work on True Love. Throwing himself into fixing it up was keeping him in a good mood, or at least it was allowing him to forget about everything else going on in his miserable life. With a small blue fiberglass pad, he removed the remaining moss and small barnacles from the bottom. Picking up a palm sander, he then continued with sanding the boat. After about an hour, he heard a voice ring out.
"Permission to come aboard?"
The sound of her voice made him smile. He stood up to see her waiting at the bottom of the ladder. She still had on her work uniform—a slate gray button-down with "Joey" in red stitching. The look on her face caused his smile to falter. "What's wrong?" he asked her.
She chewed on her lip. "As of today, I am no longer employed with Logan's Marina."
"Did you finally quit and give that jerk what-for?"
"I don't really want to go into the details right now, Pacey. Maybe another time."
He nodded. "Well, come aboard. I hear sanding old boats and working up a sweat does wonders for ignoring your problems."
She gave him a weak smile and climbed the ladder. They got down to work, remaining quiet for some time. "So, are you gonna look for a new job?" he finally spoke, turning around to face her.
Joey had sat down and was wiping the sweat from her brow. She then reached for the buttons of her shirt. Unable to look away, he watched her like a hawk as first one button and then another came undone. Slowly, she removed the button-down and it fell out of her hand to the floor of the boat. She sat there in a white spaghetti-strap tank top, cropped to expose a bare midriff and cut low enough to make him uncomfortable. He gulped as he felt his face grow hot and his stomach tighten, and then silently cursed this Indian Summer.
She sighed. "I guess I'll have to, but Bessie said the insurance check for the fire should be here any day now."
Tearing his gaze from her, he turned around and went back to sanding. "What are you gonna do with the money? Repair the Ice House? I miss that place."
"I suppose," she shrugged. "I kind of had this idea… but it's stupid."
"What?" he asked, turning back to look at her. He forced himself to look at her eyes and nothing else, although for some reason that didn't seem to help much.
She pursed her lips. "Well, I thought maybe we could use the money and turn our house into a bed & breakfast. It's a nice property, and the other ones in Capeside are all in the downtown area. I thought people might like to stay at a place near the creek, you know, where it's quiet and very green and peaceful." She gazed at him nervously. "What do you think?"
He smiled. "I think that sounds like a great idea, Jo."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You should do it. Have you mentioned this idea to Bessie yet?"
Joey shook her head. "No, not yet. Who knows if the insurance money will cover everything we'd need to renovate the house? And then labor doesn't come cheap."
He nodded pensively. "We'll think of something, Potter."
She smiled and then stared off into the distance, lost in thought. Unable to help himself, his eyes dropped to her mouth, lingered, and then to the smooth skin showing above her top. He let his gaze drop lower, to the roundness of her breasts. Perfect breasts. Not too big, not too small. Very touchable. He was powerless against the sudden surge of longing that rose in his chest. He then shook his head, breaking the spell, and heaved a sigh, turning around and putting his back to her. The fact he'd even have such a reaction to Joey Potter, of all people—a woman equally as irritating as she could be infuriating—was just proof his four-months-and-counting dry spell had reached Saharan proportions. He told himself that's all it was and began sanding vigorously.
October 31. He didn't hear her over the sound of the circular saw until she was shouting. Flipping it off, he turned to see Joey standing there inside the workshop. He sighed. He didn't really feel like company. He watched emotions flicker across her face, but he couldn't read them. As soon as he thought he had her figured out, she became a mystery all over again.
"Good morning," she said.
"Good morning, Jo."
Silence filled the air between them, becoming more awkward. "Were you planning on coming over today?" she finally asked.
He stared. "Did you come all the way out here just to ask me if I was going to come to your house?"
"Well…" She chewed on her lip. "And I wanted to see how you're feeling."
"Ahh. So, you've been talking to Andie."
Joey pursed her lips. "She came over last night, yeah."
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Let's see… How am I feeling? I feel like shit. Thanks for asking. Look if you came out here to give me a lecture, Potter, spare me. I know I made a colossal mistake—me and Andie both did. We never should've done it. It won't happen again."
"I wasn't going to lecture you, Pace. Feelings are complicated. Relationships are complicated. There's this whole gray area around breakups that's murky and hard to navigate."
Sighing, he dropped the saw on the table and moved over to the chair, sitting down. "When will this end?"
Joey moved closer and took the chair next to his. "What?"
"The heartache. I'd just like to be my old self again—the pre-Andie Pacey who didn't have a care in the world. And the thing is, I don't even know that guy anymore. I don't remember what it felt like before Andie. I also can't remember what it felt like to be happy and in love with Andie. I can't… I can't get that feeling back. It's gone. And I'm just stuck in this place where everything is terrible."
"Well, I can't say the pre-Andie Pacey was all that happy, honestly," she replied. "And I don't think he didn't have a care in the world. I think that's just the impression he wanted to give everyone."
He frowned. "But I know I didn't feel like this. This feeling that's… It's not like I want to die, but I don't exactly want to live. When does that go away? Everything sucks, Joey. How long before it stops sucking?"
"I'll let you know once I find out myself."
"Dawson?"
"He hasn't even talked to me since we went to Pirate's Cove." She gazed at him for a moment. "Is this why we've suddenly started hanging out all the time? Misery loves company?"
He scoffed, shaking his head. "We're drawn to each other's magnetic negativity."
She rolled her eyes.
"If it's any consolation, Potter, I do hope that someday there will be a time when both of us are happy and we still choose to hang out and be friends."
Joey smiled. "Me, too, Pacey."
He stood up from the chair. "And on that note, what are you doing tonight?"
"Keeping all the lights off inside the house and hiding from trick-or-treaters."
"Naturally. You want to go to the movies instead?"
She thought about it for a moment. "Sure. Avoiding children dressed in costumes and begging for candy while in a movie theater sounds like a lot more fun than crawling from room to room in the dark."
He laughed.
Later that night, they stood in front of the concession stand after getting their tickets to see House on Haunted Hill. "I really don't like scary movies, Pacey," she said as they moved forward in line.
"I know, my little skittish kitten, but it's Halloween. Besides, everything else playing is a sappy drama or a romantic comedy. I'm in the mood for neither. You?"
"Ugh."
He nodded. "See? Scary movie it is."
They soon reached the counter and ordered their snacks. "Extra butter?" he asked her.
Joey nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling. "Extra butter."
After paying, they began walking away from the concession stand, but then he quickly doubled back and grabbed some napkins, stuffing them in his pocket.