Chapter Four: Remembrance Day
Several hours later, clad in a black dress (which her mother had already told her was too short) and a fresh layer of smokey eye makeup, Dom sat in one of the marquee tents erected for the Remembrance Day reception. Those who had participated in the Battle were invited as well as their families. Dom had wanted nothing more than to go back to her four-poster bed after the formal ceremony and take a long nap, but her parents had made her stay. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her ankles as she stared at her plate of barely touched food.
Dom was sat between her sister and her mother, arguably, one of her least favorite places in the world. She chewed on her lip as she looked up from her plate and scanned the crowd.
The oldest Finnigan, Connor's brother, passed in front of her table holding a piece of cake. He caught Dom's eye. "Hey there, Dom, you're looking well," he said with a grin.
"You're looking fit too, Finigan," she smiled back. She liked him, he was a good bloke. Also, unlike his younger brother, she had never made out with him despite not feeling a spark. Connor's brother had graduated last year and had played on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. He had always been friendly with the Weasleys, albeit a little flirty with some of the older girls.
He winked at her and then took his cake back to his own table where he sat with his father and two siblings.
"Really?" Fleur asked her daughter as she watched the exchange between the two teenagers. "He's eighteen—are you seeing him? I can't even keep up with who your friends are anymore or what you're doing. I—I just know you're going to end up pregnant, just like Molly," she whispered.
"What—we're just friends!" Dom defended.
"That's not how you talk to friends," Fleur said.
"It's how I talk to friends," Dom retorted.
"Just give it a rest, Dom," Vic said quietly as she took a bite of her own cake.
"Can't you even pretend to support me for a minute," Dom launched with her sister.
"Jeune fille, this isn't about your sister. You need to stop treating every boy you meet like a potential conquest. You need to take ze things in your life seriously. You won't make it through this world just by flirting and by showing as much skin as possible," Fleur said back. "It's time for you to grow up and stop acting like an insolent child."
"What have I done that makes you hate me so much?" Dom whispered.
"Do you want to try that again?" Fleur whispered back.
Something snapped within Dom. Looking back, she would not be able to describe it. She just felt as if all her pent up frustration came forth in one giant ripple of anger. All she wanted was to be seen, to be heard. She was up on her feet and shouting before she had even registered that she had moved.
Her hands had flown to her hips and her chair had fallen completely back in her haste to stand and she was suddenly shouting at her mother. It felt as if every cell in her body was blazing with the raw anger she had pent up since last year.
"I said, what have I don't that makes you hate me so much?" Dom shouted.
"You have no fucking clue what I'm going through, and yet you seem to judge me all the time." Dom felt her sister pull on the sleeve of her dress, but Dom angrily shook her off.
"It's so hard—do you have any idea how hard it is to be the butt of this family's jokes all the time? 'Oh Dom, she's the ditzy slag who doesn't do anything but fuck around.' It's been open season on every little screw up I make for over a year. You treat me like the antagonist of Vic's story, as if I'm some big bad dark cloud to her golden perfection. She never strays from the path or does anything reckless.
I don't even get a break at school because everyone is comparing me to Roxie and Lucy. The wildest thing thetwo of them has ever done—"
At the mention of her name, Lucy took a sharp inhale of breath.
"—is to make a mark other than an O. And, honestly, I don't even think Roxie studies for her exams. Imagine, coming by that naturally!
School is hard, and I don't like it. The subjects aren't fun or interesting. And I honestly can't study for more than an hour without growing bored out of my skull. So what did I do when faced with the hardest exams in my life? Oh, yeah, that's right. I started snogging some twat who told me that it didn't matter what marks I got because he thought I was fit. And I listened to him. He didn't criticize what I was doing all the time like you do. I could be myself, figure things out without feeling like he was going to make fun of me or make me feel like a huge fucking dissapointment.
Yet, if I sat down and really thought about it, I can't figure out why you think I'm such a disappointment. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing most of the time. I don't know what your goals are for me, and I don't know what my goals are for myself to be honest. I know what I'm not going to be, I know what I suck at. I'm not going to be a ministry official—that sounds hellish. I'm not going to be a Quidditch star, I think that's readily apparent to anyone who watches me. I like clothes and talking to people. And I have no bloody clue what I'm supposed to do with that skill set. And, I get the distinct feeling that you all think I'm a fucking moron because I care about fashion and boys and people's feeling. I feel like you all think I'm too shallow to function.
But you know what, I think it's okay that I don't really know what I want to do. I shouldn't have the next nine decades of my life mapped out.
I'm just here to figure myself out, and I'm going to make some stupid mistakes along the way. We all know that. And, because I'm such a moron, I'm going to get caught. I just want you to acknowledge that I'm not doing this stuff to hurt you. I'm just trying to find myself. But no, you keep coming at me and painting me like some fucking trollop when I'm not doing anything different from anyone else. In fact, I'm doing quite a bit less than other people—James shagged some muggle girl during Christmas this year!"
"Oi, no I didn't!" James shouted defiantly from his seat at his adjoining table.
Dom ignored him. "I haven't even done that! Well—I've not shagged a girl, but I also haven't shagged anyone." At this point, Dom left out a crazed sort of laugh and took a breath.
"The only person who has even slightly deviated from the path you've laid in front of all us is Molly. And that's created so much drama. I mean, we all pretend that Molly and Uncle Percy aren't estranged. It's insanity. And Lucy is so afraid of being treated the same way, that she won't even tell you all that she's met a really nice person who makes her really happy!" Dom took a deep breath, deflated, and plopped back into her chair which her sister had uprighted, dropping her head between her hands.
"I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. I'm just hungover—we nicked some firewhiskey from the kitchens, which is something we've been doing for years by the way. And we had a really strange night, James, Fred and I. Somehow, when we were in the Forbidden Forest, we all had the same non-dream hallucination thing and imagined Uncle Fred, whom no one talks about by the way. That seems unhealthy—no one ever talking about him."
Dom dropped her head into her hands. "I feel like I'm losing myself and I'm becoming angry all the time—and bitter! I shouldn't be bitter! I'm sixteen." Dom stood suddenly, her eyes bright, a crazed sort of smile on her face as she tore at her hair. Her chair had flipped over once again when she stood.
"This would be a really great moment for me to apparate. It would be a really epic exit. But I'm fairly certain that's another exam I won't be passing. And then, when I fail that too, we can all have a good ole laugh at me again, since that seems to be what unifies this family more than anything." Dom took two backwards steps as she spoke and then turned around and ran.
Dom did not stop running until she was behind Hagrid's hut. She had never been this close to the back of Hagrid's hut before. With a slight trepidation, she stepped over the low fence protecting the garden. She hoped Hagrid did not have anything weird back here. But, when she sank down onto the cool earth, she no longer cared. It felt so good to be still, to be alone for a moment.
Once behind his hut and well hidden, she sunk to the ground and started crying, big fat ugly sobs. Her eyes burned as her mascara ran. She lost track of how long she had cried, but eventually she reached the point where no more tears would come out. She leaned her head back against the wall of Hagrid's home and took several steadying breaths as she tried to figure out how she could get back to her dormitory without running into anyone.
"Dom?"
She looked up and saw her Uncle George. She cracked a spluttery half smile. "Drew the short straw, did you?"
"I think that'd be your father, your mum has started crying."
Dom wiped at her nose. George discreetly passed her a handkerchief. "How's my mum?"
George winced. "At first, I'd say this is one of the few times I've been reminded that she's part veela. But she got over her anger pretty fast and moved right into weepy territory."
"Great," Dom rolled her eyes.
"She's upset, but I don't think that means she didn't hear you." Dom seemed to ponder this for a minute. "You know, being a middle child really sucks, doesn't it?" George asked.
Dom let out a garish sort of laugh. "Yeah, it does."
George took a deep breath. "You remind me a lot of him—Fred," he clarified.
Dom looked at him suddenly.
"You're like him in a lot of ways. He was determined to be different. Sometimes he didn't care who he hurt in his quest to be different, either" George stated.
"I don't want to hurt people," Dom said defensively.
George laughed. "You have a tendency to tell people, anyone, no matter how much authority they might hold over you, exactly how it is and how you're seeing their behavior, consequences be damned," George said gently.
Dom sat back and resumed focusing on the ground in front of her. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone," she said quietly after a pause.
"He never did either—not really at least. Sometimes he just had a tendency to take things a bit too far. He also had a tendency to become frustrated with what was going on in his life, feeling like circumstances that were out of his control were holding him back.
I wish he could have seen what life was like after the war, had a chance to be his full self without feeling like that might jeopardize the ones he loved" George said quietly, his brown eyes bright. Dom patted her uncle's arm gently.
George turned and smiled toward Dom. "You owe it to him to make all the stupid mistakes he couldn't make. I heard what you said back there. I hope you don't really think all us adults are trying to turn you into mini versions of ourselves." George looked at Dom.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, it feels that way sometimes," she said quietly.
"Well, if you're choosing someone to emulate, go with Fred. Damn their expectations. When someone tells you to turn left, go right just to check out what's over there," he said sagely. "Not at your own detriment though. Don't just be obstinate to be that way. Fred always had a purpose, a curiosity and a desire to take a chance on something.
Dom was smiling as she stared into the dirt. "I don't really hear you saying that it gets easier, dealing with everyone coming down on you because you're defying their expectations," she said after a pause
"Well, Fred's story ended too early. I can't really tell you if it gets easier. I suspect that it does," he said wistfully. "I'm only saying, I'll support you. Your parents will too. Your parents are just scared, you're growing up fast. And your mum—she knew how to support Vic, she was easy. You said it back there, she doesn't push the boundaries, she's not reaching for more. Fred always wanted more or at least something different. He was a constant pain in my arse with the joke shop stuff. Once he figured out what he wanted, he was determined. You'll be the same, and when you figure out what it is you want from life, well, those that stand in your way are really going to have to watch out."
Dom cracked a smile as she stared down at the dirt. "I like thinking I'm like Uncle Fred," Dom said after a moment.
"I don't think we've done you kids any favors by not talking about him. I would also have pissed him off to no end that we only ever talk about him on days like today when all we talk about is his sacrifice and shit. That's not how he would want to be remembered."
"Can we talk about him now?"
"No today, but we can try to do better." George stood up and extended his hand to his niece. "Come on, let's go back."
Dom looked at his extended hand. "Do we have to?"
"Yes," George said. He pulled her up and the two walked back to the rest of the family.
Her family had left the marquee tent and were huddled several meters away from it's entrance, just out of earshot. As they approached, they were confronted by an awkward, unusually quiet group. Dom sent her Uncle George a sheepish grin and jerked her shoulder.
Various pockets of people were conversing in strained awkward voices. Ron, Harry and Hermione were several paces away from the rest of the group, whispering amongst themselves. Aunt Ginny had James cornered and was hissing towards him with bright eyes, Dom caught a few bits about sneaking a girl into his house while his younger siblings slept. James saw her and his eyes narrowed in her direction. Her remaining cousins and family members were also clustered in small groups, a feeling of discomfort permeated throughout. George returned Dom's shoulder shrug as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
Molly, Teddy, and Vic grouped in their own little huddle. It hurt Dom to see that Molly was clearly upset. Suddenly, Molly stood and passed her son to her cousin. "Dad," she said with a conviction that was not minimized by the slight shake in her voice, "you're being an idiot!"
Dom turned to Uncle George. He smiled at her and raised an eyebrow.
Percy, who had been standing with Audrey, Lucy and his parents stopped mid sentence and looked towards his eldest daughter with his mouth agape. Everyone's eyes turned to the distance between Percy and Molly as the silence dragged on past the point of comfort.
"Oh, Teddy, I saw the review of your book in the Prophet on Tuesday—" Angelina started to say to Teddy as she moved over to help Vic with the increasingly unhappy baby.
"Yeah, I thought it was pretty good—" Teddy started as he also moved closer to Vic to help her with whimpering infant.
"Say something!" Molly ordered so suddenly Vic jumped which caused baby Ignatius to start crying. "I'm sick of this, I'm sick of being treated like I've fallen from grace. You matter too much to me for this to go on. Yes, I made a mistake, but—"
"You didn't make a mistake," Percy said quietly as he walked towards his daughter. "My behavior has been—well, it's been unacceptable." It was Molly's turn to stare at her father with her mouth agape.
"Hear, hear," George said. Percy smiled wistfully towards his brother, something silent shared between them.
"Here, give me my grandson," Percy ordered his niece. Molly still stood frozen, staring at her father. Vic walked forward and passed the baby to her uncle. Percy started bouncing the boy and cooing gently. Molly seemed to unfreeze at the sight of her father holding her son. She ran forward and hugged her dad, pressing her son between them.
"I've been a horrible father, Molly. I shouldn't have done the things I did, said the things I said—you deserved better from me. I'm sorry."
"Oh dad," Molly sobbed as she stepped back from her father and dried her eyes with the collar of her shirt.
"Finally," Audrey shouted as she practically skipped over to her husband and daughter, her in-laws close on her heels. Molly hugged her sobbing grandmother as she took her son back from her father.
The family moved closer towards the tearful reunion, several other glistening eyes in the group.
"Mom, dad," Lucy spoke up from outside of the circle. Her family turned to look at her. Lucy took a steadying breath and looked towards Dom who nodded and smiled. "I've been seeing someone, her name is Sarah," she said in one breath.
Audrey and Percy looked at each other, silence descending once again. The parents smiled at each other. Percy let out a very un-Percy-like laugh. "That's amazing news, Lucy," he said as he extended his arm, welcoming her towards him. She quickly ran over to her family and joined in the embrace.
Dom stepped away from her uncle. "I'm sorry that I blew up!" Dom said loudly and opened her arms dramatically.
"We've got to keep someone around that makes these things interesting," Fred said. "Even if you can't apparate away dramatically, it was still a pretty good speech" he added with a huge smile and a wink. Dom smiled towards him. She walked over to her mom, and without words, the two embraced. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.
A warm night had settled over the grounds. Far away from Dumbedore's tomb and the accompanying white marble war memorial and the fairy-lit tents, a group of six walked past Hagrid's hut.
"I don't understand why we need to show you where we were last night," James huffed as he tripped over a valerian root that had escaped the confines of Hagrid's garden.
"Let's not ask too many questions," Ron said.
"Are we in trouble?" Dom asked.
A look passed between Harry, Ron and Hermione. "Erm—let's say that's to be determined." Ron said awkwardly.
"We weren't exactly in the right state to leave breadcrumbs," Fred said as any light from the ceremonies was swallowed by the edges of the Forbidden Forest.
"Yeah, we figured as much," Harry added as he took out his wand and illuminated the end.
"I have to say, this is a strange punishment if that's what it's meant to be," James added as he jogged up next to Fred. "We turned right here," he told his cousin.
"This isn't your punishment," Harry said.
"So there is going to be a punishment?" Fred asked his uncle.
"Probably," Ron told him.
"No, Ron—That's for your parents to determine," Hermione interjected.
Fred shrugged, consoled. His parents were not likely to punish him.
"I think we turned left," Fred said to James as he stopped and scratched at the top of his head when a branch brushed against his hair. "Do our parents know we're out here with you?" he asked.
Ron laughed. "We're not kidnapping you! We're just trying to find the spot where you all ended up last night."
"Okay," Fred said, still not sounding very sure. "Oi, Dom, come here, do you remember which way we went?"
Dom pushed past her aunt to meet up with her cousins. They continued to bicker over which direction they had turned.
The three adults hung back.
"I think it's a lost cause, mate," Ron whispered to Harry. "Look at them, they were too gone last night to remember where they were."
Harry looked at the trio in front of him with concern. "What if someone else finds it?"
"I don't know," Hermione said quietly, patting Harry's arm assuredly. "But with any luck, it'll be another two decades before someone does."
"It would have been nice to see Fred, though," Ron said, looking wistfully into the forest.
"Do you think they even suspect that what they saw was real?" Hermione asked the other two.
"If you didn't know it was a possibility, would you think it was real?" Ron asked the group.
"No," Harry answered. "I'd think it was all a dream." He looked wistfully into the woods. Some days, some more than others, he found that he regretted dropping the stone.