April 22. When he woke, he saw Joey beside him, her head resting on his arm. A warm glow filled his heart. He moved slightly and her eyes flickered open. For a moment he wondered if she'd panic again, if she'd regret what had happened last night, but when she met his gaze, a smile spread across her face and he beamed. The door then opened, and noticing how close she was to him, her eyes widened and she slid backwards, creating distance between them. He groaned, and pulled the covers over their heads. Her eyes sparkled humorously beneath the blanket.
Will chuckled as he stepped into the bedroom. "Ooh, they're still not out of bed. You know, for two people who put up such a fuss about having to share a bed every night, they sure don't ever want to get out of it in the morning."
Joey's eyes held his gaze and they grinned sheepishly at the astute observation.
"Pacey, are you seriously still asleep?" Andie questioned in an incredulous tone. "It's almost ten o'clock. We have to get this show on the road pretty soon."
"Hey, you guys coming down for breakfast or what?" Dawson asked as he walked into the room. "Aunt Gwen is putting on a big spread before we leave. Fuel for the journey, she said. Hurry up and get dressed."
At the sound of Dawson's voice, Joey frowned, her brows knitting with worry. He threw the covers off them. "All right, all right," he said, "I'm getting up," and swung his legs out and over the side of the bed.
It wasn't long before he was carrying both his and Joey's bags down the stairs. He deposited them by the front door and then joined his friends and Gwen at the dining table, Joey taking the seat across from him. Gwen eyed him knowingly. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Well, it's about time, you two," Dawson said by way of greeting.
He glanced at Joey, fighting a smirk as he poured himself a glass of orange juice. She averted her eyes from his and reached for one of the platters of food, sliding some bacon onto her plate. Once they'd all finished eating, Dawson and Will began packing the car with everyone's luggage while he stood at the kitchen sink washing the breakfast dishes. He listened as Joey and Andie walked out the front door to join the others. Gwen approached the counter and started putting the clean glasses away.
"Look, Pacey," she began tentatively. "I wasn't going to say anything because it's not my place, but I think I should give you some friendly advice. You seem like a really nice young man and it sounds like you have a lot going for you. But about Joey… You should really know that she and Dawson are—"
What? Soulmates? "Aunt Gwen," he said, interrupting her and placing the last of the washed silverware in the drying rack. "I want you to know that I appreciate being invited on this trip. I appreciate all your hospitality and that you allowed us to spend spring break here, even those of us who you didn't even know. It was very nice of you and you were a gracious host. But, with all due respect, I'm not going to talk about Joey with you." He tossed the damp sponge next to the faucet. "You're right, it's not your place. And I feel like I should give you some advice. Maybe you shouldn't concern yourself with the love lives of teenagers."
With that, he walked out of the kitchen and through the front door, joining his friends outside. They soon all said their goodbyes to Aunt Gwen, Joey rather awkwardly so. He gave her a tight smile and a curt nod and then got into the back behind Dawson, Andie and Will squeezing in beside him once again while Joey climbed into the front passenger seat. Gwen waved as they pulled out of the driveway.
Dawson then made for the Massachusetts Turnpike, the windy roads from Gwen's house full of turns and hills. After they'd driven about twenty-five miles, before they had even reached the highway, Andie groaned and closed her eyes. He turned to look at her. "You okay, McPhee?" he asked.
"I'm going to be carsick," Andie said, her eyes still closed. "Right now."
"Me, too," Will added.
His friend's face had a green tinge to it. "Dawson, man, pull over," he begged. "I think Andie and Will are gonna throw up and you know I'm a sympathetic vomiter. Things could get real ugly back here."
His best friend threw a look of alarm at him in the rearview mirror. Dawson then slowed the SUV and pulled over to the side of the road. Will flung open the car door, and he and Andie piled out of the back, losing what was in their stomachs as they went. At least that was what they were supposed to do: lose it outside the car. Dawson and Joey made grossed-out sounds, turning their heads away.
"I can't be sick in front of strangers," Andie moaned, doubled over.
"What are you talkin' about?" he asked from where he still sat in the back seat. "There aren't any strangers here."
"The people driving by, Pacey! What will they think?!"
He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "They don't know you. What do you think they're gonna do? Call up the Harvard admissions office and tell them they saw one Andrea McPhee puking on the side of the road in the middle-of-nowhere Massachusetts?"
Will was still losing it. Grimacing, Joey unbuckled her seat belt. "I need some fresh air."
"The air ain't so fresh out there, Potter," he quipped.
She laughed and got out of the car. Soon they were all standing on the side of the road. He and Dawson fell into a fit of laughter for a good five minutes over the situation, at the sight of Will doubled over, Andie still complaining that people driving by could see her, and Joey just aimlessly milling about and getting a breath of fresh air. "Life is never dull, Pace," his best friend chuckled.
Guilt immediately twisted his insides. "No, Dawson, it isn't."
It wasn't long before Andie and Will straightened up, the worst of it over. He handed them a water bottle to rinse out their mouths. "Thanks," Andie said.
"No, thank you for not puking in the car," he replied.
"I don't think I can sit in the back anymore," Will muttered.
Dawson nodded. "What about you, Andie?"
She handed Will the water bottle. "I think if I lay down a little while, I'll be fine."
Joey stepped closer, coming up to stand near him. His heart started beating a little faster. "Will should sit up front," she proposed. "Andie can lay down in the middle. There's a third-row seat. I bet if we tried, we could get all the bags to fit in the trunk to make room."
She started to walk towards the back of the car, her arm brushing his as she went past, and he felt a streak of heat race through him like lightning. It had been over ten hours since they'd kissed, since he'd held her in his arms and felt her warmth pressed against him. It was ten hours too long. He followed her behind the car. He and Joey then rearranged all their bags so that every piece fit in the trunk, freeing up the third seat.
Joey climbed into the far back and he got in beside her while Will hopped in the front seat and Andie lay down. They sat close together, their arms and thighs touching. In an ideal world, they'd be alone in that back seat, and he could throw his arms around her and pull her onto his lap. He pushed the lustful fantasy from his mind. Discreetly, she took his hand and squeezed. He smiled and felt the warm glow spread from his heart through his whole body.
They arrived back in Capeside later that afternoon, and a feeling of unease began to well up inside him. He felt as if he was now waiting for the other shoe to drop. Spring break was over, and it was back to the reality of their lives and the complications that lay ahead of them. Their first stop was the bus station, where Will was catching his ride back to New Raleigh, and then Andie was dropped at her house. Dawson shortly after pulled up outside Doug's apartment building. In the far back seat, he squeezed Joey's hand before climbing out. After thanking Dawson for the invitation and saying he'd see him in school on Monday, he started walking towards the building entrance.
He pulled out his key and opened the door to his brother's apartment. As he stepped inside, he found Doug walking out of the bedroom, buttoning up his uniform. "Hey, little brother," he greeted. "Welcome back."
"Hey, Dougie." His bag dropped to the floor. "You going to work?"
"Yeah. It's my turn for weekend duty. I've got evening shifts. So, how was spring break?"
He had no idea how to answer that question. "Uh, well, me and Will had fun playing pool and conning the locals out of their money."
Doug nodded as he shrugged on his coat. "Admirable," he snarked. "And being with Dawson and Joey all week?"
"It had its gag-worthy moments, to be honest," he said. "Did you know they have their very own karaoke routine?"
"I'm sure that wasn't pleasant to watch," his brother sympathized.
Not making eye contact he picked up his bag and walked into the living room. "Believe me, Dougie, it wasn't."
He wasn't sure why he couldn't tell his brother the complete truth. After all, it was Doug who first told him that Joey must have feelings for him, but the sense of unease had settled in the pit of his stomach. He knew he was going to have to tell Dawson, and soon. He hoped and prayed his budding relationship with Joey would survive the confession, but a nagging feeling in the back of his mind told him there was a possibility it might not. It scared him. He didn't want to tell Doug about the amazing thing that had happened between him and Joey at Aunt Gwen's if it was just going to blow up in his face.
"Oh, by the way, there are at least 10 messages for you on the answering machine from Buzz," his brother said before going out the door.
After he listened to Buzz's messages and called him back, making plans to spend the day together on Sunday, he turned on the TV. He flipped through channels, not settling on anything. Hours passed and the afternoon turned into evening. He paced the apartment, feeling restless and full of nervous energy. The ten o'clock news came on the television. He wanted to be with Joey. He wanted to know what she was thinking, how she was feeling. He wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her he loved her. He wanted to hear her tell him the same—that she loved him, needed him. He wanted to feel her mouth open under his, inviting him in. He wanted to sleep next to her like he'd done for the past week.
A shot of heat fired deep inside him at the thought. Pursing his lips, he sat on the couch and stared at the cordless phone. He really wanted to hear her voice at the very least. As if he'd summoned her just by thinking it, the phone began to ring. He jerked up and stared at it for a moment before answering.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hi, Pacey."
"Hey, Jo." The butterflies came to life at the sound of her voice. "I was just thinking about you."
"You were? Good things, I hope," she said.
Warmth spread through him at the suggestiveness in her tone. "Maybe," he teased.
"That's all the answer I'm going to get?" she replied.
"So, what's up? Why are you calling?" He wanted to change the subject because he knew if she really started asking him questions, he'd just come right out and make all sorts of declarations. He knew it wasn't the right time, and he also didn't want to do that on the phone.
"Do I need a reason to call you?"
He hesitated. "Uh, well, no. I guess not. But something must've made you pick up the phone and—"
"I just wanted to hear your voice, Pacey."
"Oh." He swallowed, emotion rising up inside him. The fear lessened.
She scoffed, but then grew quiet for a moment. "I hope that's all right."
"All right? Are you kidding me, Jo? It's better than all right. I like to hear your voice, too."
"I'll be sure to call you more often then," she said, sounding pleased. She paused, and he smiled into the phone. "What happened at Aunt Gwen's… I wasn't just dreaming it? Or hallucinating? That really did happen, right?"
"Yes, Jo. It happened." Was this the real reason she'd called? Reassurance?
"When can I see you again, Pacey?" Her voice had dropped to just below a whisper.
"Miss me already, Potter?"
"I will neither confirm nor deny. But seriously, Pace… I need to see you."
"Well, uh…" He felt warm all over at the sound of yearning in her voice, but he grinned and decided to tease her. "We'll see each other in Homeroom on Monday morning, I suppose."
"Not until Monday?" Joey complained. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, but I don't go in until four," he said. "I have Buzz with me during the day, though."
"What are you going to be doing with Buzz?"
"Working on the True Love," he answered. "There's a few things I gotta finish up. You can come hang out with me and Buzz, if you want, while we ready her for the regatta. When I win, you and me can go out and celebrate."
"You sure sound confident, Pacey."
"Just wishful thinking. If I win, will I get a victory kiss?"
"Maybe," she answered coyly.
He grinned. "And what are you going to be doing tomorrow? Have you decided what you want to paint on your wall yet?"
"No," Joey said and heaved an exasperated sigh. "I really want to paint, but I just… I guess I need some inspiration."
"I'm sure it'll come to you," he encouraged. "Just be patient."
"When do you get out of work on Sunday?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject. "Maybe we could go see a movie or something."
"You just want to get me alone in a dark theater and have your way with me, don't you, Potter?" The sound of her laughter made his heart swell. He'd always loved making her laugh. "Well, to answer your question, I'm closing. So, I don't get out until ten o'clock."
"Oh. Okay."
He heard the disappointment in her voice and couldn't help but smile. "So, I'll see you on Monday, yeah?"
She sighed. "Yeah."
He bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. "But I'll call you tomorrow, Jo. I promise."
"…Okay. Well, I'll talk to you later, I guess."
"Yep. Talk to you later. Bye, Jo."
"Bye, Pace."
He hung up the phone and laughed to himself. Hurrying off the couch, he put on his coat and walked out the door. Once he unlocked his bike from the rack outside the apartment building, he rode for the Potter's house.
When he got to their driveway, he hopped off his bike and parked it beneath a tree. He walked around to the back of the house to Joey's bedroom window. The light was on and the curtains were open. He stood there for a second, just watching her sit at her desk. She was writing in what looked like a journal. Her hair was up in a ponytail. And she looked so sexy in those pajamas. He smiled, wondering if she ever wrote about him, or was writing about him now. He finally tapped on the window to get her attention.
Joey's head snapped up and her eyes widened at the sight of him. She hurried towards him and he could see the joy in her face. He could also see that she wasn't wearing a bra. She raised the window. "What are you doing here, Pacey?"
"You said you needed to see me, Jo." He shrugged. She gave him a shy smile. "Can I come in?"
She chewed on her lip, glancing around the room, her gaze fixing briefly on her bed before she looked at him again. "I should come out there, I think."
Smiling, he grabbed her hand to pull her out the window.
"Wait, Pacey. I should change." She pulled at her body-hugging tank top to imply she wasn't presentable.
"No!" He whispered desperately. "I like it." He smirked and pulled on her hand again.
"Okay." She grinned back at him, blushing.
He smiled to himself as he watched her climb out the window. She was beautiful. He knew what lay ahead of them would be rough, on the both of them, and he wanted to savor these moments before they inevitably hit stormy waters when they told Dawson. "How are you?" he asked.
Joey pulled him to her, kissing his lips passionately, and his heart started thundering against his ribs. He felt a surge of hope so great it almost made him dizzy. Maybe her feelings for him were just as strong as his for her. Maybe things would turn out all right when their friends found out about them. Maybe they'd make it. Maybe she loved him.
"I'm good," she finally answered. "How are you?" She kissed him again, lingering longer than necessary.
"Never been better." He smirked at her as he kissed her, backing her up against the wall of her house. She gasped lightly and then grinned up at him. He kissed her again. He broke away and smiled at her a moment, both his hands resting on the wall on either side of her.
"So, what have you been doing today since you got home?"
He leaned down and kissed her. "Thinking about you."
Joey moved closer to him, her hands going to his shirt, sliding up his chest and around his neck. She kissed his chin softly. "I've been thinking about you, too, Pacey," she whispered, her brown eyes sparkling.
"You don't say," he smirked and pressed his mouth to hers.
She pulled back and looked up at him. "I tried to tell Dawson again."
His stomach twisted. "You did? When?"
"After we dropped you off this afternoon," she said. "We were alone in the car and… I tried to tell him, Pacey." Her chest moved as she breathed deeply. "But then I just felt so guilty. I felt like if I told him then, it would ruin the whole week we'd had, the entire trip, and I couldn't do that to him. It just wasn't the best time to say anything. I thought maybe I'd give it a couple days."
He rested his forehead against hers and they were nose to nose, breath to breath. He stayed like that for a few seconds. It wasn't going to be easy, for either of them, to break this news to Dawson. But was it at all possible their best friend would handle it with maturity and respect for their autonomy? That he'd be accepting or understanding, even if begrudgingly? That he actually wouldn't wig out like a self-involved drama queen and hate him forever?
Memories flashed before his eyes. Dawson picking that stupid fight in the roller rink parking lot after Joey's birthday party. The look Dawson gave him when he'd spun the bottle and it landed on Joey. A basketball being thrown at his face. The drunken rant at Dawson's sixteenth birthday party. The night Dawson caught him and Joey at the dance studio.
She moved closer and kissed his frown away, the memories quickly fading. "Bessie's asleep and we have an hour before Bodie comes home from work," she murmured against his lips. She glanced up at him a moment, grinning before she kissed him again passionately.
His mouth then moved from her lips, kissing along her jawline. He smiled at the soft mewling sound she made. "An hour, huh? What do you wanna do?"
She tilted her head as he kissed her throat. "Hmm… Can't you think of anything, Pace?"
"Well, Jo, I could think of a few things."
His lips gently caressed her skin, thankful that her ponytail had given him easy access to her neck. He kissed her earlobe. Warmth spread through him, from the tips of his fingers down to his toes. She gasped his name when he found the soft spot behind her ear and kissed it. His heart swelled at the sound of his name on her lips, spoken in such a way, an indescribable feeling rising up inside him. His tongue darted out, caressing the sensitive spot, and her eyes rolled back. Trembling, she teetered, suddenly off-balance. He caught her, his hands moving down from the wall and encircling her waist.
Joey pulled his face to hers. She captured his lips in an ardent kiss. Her fingers were in his hair, her breasts were pressed against his chest, her slender form searing against his. He ached to slide his hand beneath that tank top, move his fingers up her rib cage, and hold one of those perfect breasts in his palm. He knew she wasn't ready for anything like that, but knowing she trusted him like this, that someday she might be ready, and he was the one she had these feelings for, sent a giddy joy surging through him.
He again raised his hands to plant them on the wall on either side of her, and kissed her back.
On Monday morning, when he walked out of Doug's apartment building, he saw Joey parked out front in the old blue truck. His eyes widened in surprise and she smiled as he hurried towards her. He opened the passenger side door and jumped in. "Good morning, Jo," he said.
She smiled. "Morning."
Joey then pulled onto the road and drove towards the high school. "So… It's our first day in school since…"
"Yep."
"Classes and… lunch in the cafeteria and… walking in the hallways together and…" The sentence trailed off.
"Being in Dawson's proximity all day," he finished. They hadn't even talked about school, about being around their friends, their classmates.
"Yes, that," she said. Her cheeks blushed. "Being around each other all day long and having to act normal."
His lips pursed and he tilted his head. "This isn't normal?"
She scoffed and threw him a look. "You know what I mean, Pacey."
They sat in silence, the moment becoming awkward. Joey chewed on her lip, and he watched her knuckles whiten as she gripped the steering wheel. Just before they reached Main Street, she turned off the road and onto a cul-de-sac. Despite downtown being nearby, it was secluded and quiet and devoid of parked cars, the only property being the Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church down at the far end.
She parked the truck and unbuckled her seat belt. "Pacey?" she asked suddenly.
"Yeah, Jo?" Something was happening but he wasn't exactly sure what. His heart started pounding.
Then she was coming toward him and her lips were on his. He closed his eyes and melted, kissing her back and letting a tiny groan escape his throat. Her hands were in his hair and on his skin, caressing his face and neck with her soft fingertips. He wanted to pull her onto his lap and press her hips into his, but he kept his arms loose around her. After several minutes of this, they both sat back, breathing heavily, and smiled at each other. Nothing had ever felt so wonderful. He had never been this happy in his entire life.
"We should get to school," Joey finally said before sliding back over behind the wheel and reaching for her seat belt.
He didn't say anything because he couldn't get his heart to stop pounding so hard and was afraid of what he might say. The words were right there, on the tip of his tongue, and it took everything he had to hold them back. He needed time before he started talking again, time to stop wanting her, to stop needing another kiss. It had also taken everything he had to ignore the tightening in his groin, the quickening of his pulse, the blood rushing in his veins, making him hot all over.
They soon were walking from the student parking lot and towards the school. More than anything, he wanted to reach out and hold her hand. He wanted to link their fingers and walk into school together. He wanted to tell everyone that Joey Potter was his girl. That the most beautiful girl in Capeside liked him. Instead, they walked side by side, maintaining a safe distance between them.
Once inside the building, they went their separate ways to their lockers and he found Dawson waiting for him beside his. His stomach twisted fiercely, the guilt flooding him. "Hey, man," he greeted before putting in the combination to his locker.
"Hey, Pace. Sorry I didn't call you back last night. I was at the restaurant helping my mom all day and I was just too tired when I got home. What's up?"
"Um…" He stared inside his locker, hesitating. I have to tell Dawson about Joey. I should tell him. I have to. Just tell him. Just do it. Do it. "Uh, yeah. Well, my work on the True Love is officially done as of yesterday afternoon and I wanted to invite you to its christening this weekend. I'm thinking Saturday. You free?"
Dawson shook his head and smiled a look of disbelief. "Wow. You really finished it. I have to say I'm impressed, Pacey. Good for you. I'd love to be there. And I'll bring the champagne."
Guilt stabbed him. "Oh, no," he scoffed. "You don't have to do that, Dawson. That's not necessary."
"I know I don't have to," his best friend shrugged. "I want to."
"Well, thanks…" He tried to smile. Then the bell rang, saving him from the conversation. "See ya at lunch," Dawson said before walking off.
Heading towards Homeroom, he turned a corner and glimpsed Joey's locker further down the hall. She wasn't there. Grinning to himself, he pulled his backpack around and unzipped it, retrieving a spiral notebook and a pen. He tore out a small piece of lined paper and wrote a quick note. As he passed by Joey's locker, he shoved it inside one of the vents.
When he walked into Homeroom, he was pleased to see Joey had taken back her old seat near his and was no longer going to be sitting on the other side of the room. But one look at Andie, sitting in her front row seat, smiling and waving hello to him, made his stomach twist into knots again. After the teacher had taken attendance, they recited the Pledge of Allegiance, and listened to the morning announcements, the bell rang.
Joey got up from her desk to leave for first period. "Go to the library instead of Study Hall," she told him.
He nodded and watched her walk out the door. Then he pulled out his history textbook and tried his damnedest to concentrate for the next forty-two minutes. Later, when he walked into the library as the third period bell rang, he caught sight of Joey sitting at a table by herself on the far side of the large, rectangular room. It had only been an hour and a half since he'd seen her, but the sight of her made him weak in the knees.
She gave him a glowing smile as he approached the table and sat down. Her chemistry book was open in front of her; she was studying for their next class. He gazed at her for a moment as her eyes then sparkled with a knowing glint. "So, this turned up in my locker this morning," she murmured, pulling a small folded piece of lined paper from her pocket and setting it on the table. "I seem to have a secret admirer."
"It's definitely a secret," he said dryly.
"There's no name on the note, but he says he's walking around with chest pain," she grinned.
"And the cause of this chest pain?" He smirked, keeping his voice low.
Joey blushed, putting the note back inside her jeans pocket, and looked determinedly down at her textbook. "Apparently, I'm so beautiful it makes his chest hurt."
He pursed his lips, nodding, as he pulled his own chemistry book from his backpack. "He should probably see a doctor about that."
She started laughing, and it was music to his ears.
April 26. Everyone walked out of history as the bell rang dismissing first period. He followed the flow of his classmates until they dispersed in the hall. It was Wednesday and so he had gym, and had less than five minutes to get down to the boys' locker room on the other side of the building.
When he reached the west hallway, he stopped at the corner to see if there was any sign of Joey. She'd had a doctor's appointment that morning, and he hadn't seen her since last night. He had spent the evening at her house, doing his homework with her in the living room under her older sister's watchful eye. At ten o'clock, Bessie told him to get on home. Joey walked him out to her front porch and they'd lingered there for some time, kissing under the stars.
He looked around the corner and his heart leapt. Joey was there, putting in the combination on her padlock. He smiled excitedly. As soon as she opened her locker door, a folded piece of paper fell out and she quickly caught it. She glanced over her shoulder before she opened it.
He watched her eyes read over the words, anxious to see her reaction when she thought no one was looking. She chuckled, a joyful smile spreading across her face, her cheeks blushing. His heart swelled inside his chest as he gazed at her. Dear Joey, he'd written. Do you like me? Check yes or no. If you check yes, will you let me hold your hand? Check yes or no. If you check yes, will you let me kiss you after school? Check yes or no.
Joey pulled a pen from her pocket and then the warning bell rang—he had two minutes to get to second period. He turned and hauled ass to the boys' locker room.
Later, he made it to fourth period chemistry before Joey, and his gaze followed her as she walked into the classroom and took her seat in front of him, smirking as she did so. He turned and caught Jen's eye and his stomach clenched. He smiled awkwardly and quickly turned his head to face the front. There was something about the way Jen looked at him. Why did she have to be so damn perceptive?
Joey turned around in her seat. "Why weren't you in Study Hall?" she asked him.
"I got called to Mr. Kapinos' office," he explained, keeping his voice low. "Apparently he's noticed there's been an obvious upswing in my grades since I left my parents' house and started staying with Doug, and he wanted to know if that was just coincidental or if there was anything about my home-life I needed to talk to someone about." He scoffed and shook his head. "He's been asking me that question all year as if eventually I'm actually going to answer it."
She frowned. "Well… that's good about your grades, though."
Anger bubbled in his gut. "Where were these questions in sixth grade? Seventh grade? Eighth grade? I'm almost outta here. What good is it gonna do now? Too little, too late."
Her brown eyes saddened as they locked on his. "I wish you'd tell me more about it, Pace," she whispered as the bell rang to signal start of class. "I wish I'd asked those questions. Those nights you'd show up to sleep on my floor, and I never really…" She shrugged helplessly.
"You were going through your own shit, Jo." It was Dawson who should've noticed or cared, he thought bitterly. It was his teachers. Hell, his own mother should've cared.
Mrs. J then began taking attendance and Joey turned in her seat to face the front of the class. He pulled his textbook and notebook from his backpack. Soon the homework assignment they'd turned in yesterday was being passed back from the front. Joey turned to give him his worksheet. "Nice job," she said as she placed it in his waiting hand.
He looked at the grade. He'd gotten a B. He hadn't gotten a B in science since… Well, not since sophomore year when Andie had helped him raise his grade point average from the grave. He smiled down at Mrs. J's written comment at the bottom, feeling pleased, when a note suddenly dropped on his desk. It was folded up into a small square, and one edge was frayed as if it had been torn from a spiral notebook—his spiral notebook. She had passed back the note he'd given her.
He glanced up to see Joey bent over the side of her desk, busying herself with the backpack on the floor. He lifted his head and his eyes darted back and forth over the room, lingering on Jen, to make sure no one watching. He brought the note down into his lap and unfolded it. A wide smile spread across his face. She'd checked yes beneath every question and next to the last one she'd written a response. He smiled at her handwriting. Not too large or too small, straight as an arrow, and feminine, with swirls and curves.
"Don't go to the cafeteria. Meet me behind the stage in the auditorium."
He looked up at the clock, willing it to move faster. After an agonizing wait, eventually the bell rang dismissing 4th period. He hurried to his locker, tossing his backpack inside. Skipping lunch would be a welcome relief. Since they'd come back from their spring break trip, lunch had become more of a social hour. Sitting at a table with both Dawson and Joey, not to mention Andie, Jack, and Jen now all sitting with them as well, was almost unbearable. The guilt took away his appetite and, for the first time ever, he'd begun counting down the minutes until lunch was over.
The auditorium was dark and quiet, empty. He walked around to the side of the stage, went up the wooden steps, and then made his way to the back. It was even darker there. For some reason, hesitance filled him at the thought of calling out her name. He roamed around, wondering if Joey had gotten there before him. There was no sign of her. He propped himself against the wall next to the dressing room door to wait; the door then opened, light spilling out, and two hands pulled him inside, shutting the door behind them.
Joey pushed him against the door and set her hands on his chest. His eyes widened and his heart started hammering beneath his ribs. Her eyes filled with softness and he melted. "Pacey," she whispered, her voice tender.
And then her lips were on his, and her hands were skimming up his chest to his shoulders. He moved forward and turned them, backing her up against the wall. He molded her closer to him and mussed her soft hair, his fingers spearing through it. He captured her mouth with his. She tasted so sweet, and it went straight to all the broken places inside him like a balm for his soul.
"You are incredible, Potter," he said as he caressed his lips along her jaw.
"I missed you all morning." She sighed contentedly at his mouth moved down her neck.
He chuckled against her skin. "I was just with you in chemistry class."
Joey tutted. "Yeah, but you were behind me. I didn't really get to see you, or touch you or kiss you." She pulled his face up to hers and kissed his lips.
"Good thing because Jen was in there," he quipped. "And I'm pretty sure that would confirm her suspicions."
"Suspicions? But we haven't done anything in front of anyone. I mean, she can't know for sure."
He nodded and encircled her waist with his arms. "True, but you and I both were miserable for several weeks and now I think we're noticeably not miserable all of a sudden." He shrugged. "Besides, Jen has known how I feel about you for a long time and I think she can put two and two together, Jo."
"How long has she known, Pace?" she murmured.
"Uh, well…" He cleared his throat. "You remember that whole casual sex pact me and Jen made?" She frowned at him. His stomach clenched. "Uh, yeah, not my proudest moment. But you recall, Jo, how that didn't work out, like, at all? Never even came close to working out." She was still frowning. "Um, well, Jen easily figured out the real reason why it wasn't working and she pretty much called it that night at the dance studio."
Joey swallowed, thinking, and then her eyes went wide, giving him an incredulous look. "But, Pacey, that was five months ago."
His lips pursed. "Yep."
"And all this time, you…?" Her brows knitted as she gazed up at him in wonder.
"All this time," he breathed. He gave her a half-smile and shrugged. "And… well, a lot longer than that, if I'm being honest with myself."
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. His hands held onto her waist while his heart pounded and his blood sang. They went on kissing, a desperate kiss that slowly turned lazy and teasing and sweet. With a sigh she laid her head on his shoulder, her arms going around his back. He felt her warm breath on his neck while he stroked her hair and ran his fingertips down her spine. A silent contentment spread and enveloped them, and they held onto each other until the bell rang.
Joey raised her head to look at him. "You go first, Pace. I'll see you at trig."
Sighing, he nodded begrudgingly, wishing they could stay holed up there for the rest of the day. He laid a gentle kiss on her lips and then walked out of the dressing room.
While standing in front of his locker pulling out his backpack, he heard a familiar voice in the hallway behind him.
"Pacey, there you are!"
He turned around. Guilt twisted his insides. "Hey, Andie."
She gave him a puzzled look. "Where were you at lunch? We were all wondering."
"Oh, I, uh… Um, well. I had to go see Mr. Kapinos today." It wasn't a total lie.
"Oh." Her expression became concerned. "Is everything okay?"
He forced a smile. "Uh, yeah, actually. My grades have improved over the past couple months. He just wanted to, you know, check in with me."
Andie beamed at him. He wanted to run away. "That's great, Pacey."
"Well, I gotta get to trig before the bell rings," he said, shutting his locker and breaking eye contact. "I'll see you later."
"Okay. See ya." She smiled and walked away.
Then he headed towards math class, hating himself.
Later, he arrived at his English classroom to see everyone standing around outside the closed door, Joey walking behind him. "Where's Mr. Broderick?" he asked as he came up behind his friends.
"Don't know," Jack answered. "Maybe he's just running a little late."
Dawson turned and looked at him. "Hey, where were you during lunch? Joey wasn't there either."
His guts twisted. "Um…" Andie stepped over. "Pacey was in Mr. Kapinos' office," she said, saving him from having to answer. For a split second he felt thankful she'd provided him good cover, but then he felt even more like shit for putting her in a position to lie for him. Dawson had no reaction to this news other than mild interest and turned his head as Joey stepped up beside them.
"To answer your question, Dawson, I really wasn't that hungry and decided to skip the cafeteria crowd," she said as she joined the group, shrugging casually and averting her eyes from anyone else's.
Pursing his lips, he turned and caught Jen's knowing gaze. What he saw there wasn't exactly comforting. Mr. Broderick arrived soon after, breaking up the crowd, and then everyone filtered into class.
April 28. On Friday, after school let out, he smiled to himself as he walked across the student lot to the Witter wagon, his mom having let him borrow it for the day. Then his stomach flipped at the sight of Dawson's SUV parked next to it and his friend rummaging around in the trunk. "Hey, Pace," he greeted.
"Hey, Dawson." His chest tightened with anxiety. It felt like his stomach was going to fall out through his ass. "Look, um, I wanted to talk to you about something."
His best friend shut the trunk door and turned to him, giving him his full attention. "What's up?"
He swallowed against a lump the size of a boulder in his throat. "Uh, well…" Just tell him. Tell him. Do it. DO IT, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SON OF A BITCH. "Um, you still coming to the boat christening tomorrow?"
"Of course," Dawson breathed, laughing as if in disbelief of such a ridiculous question. "I wouldn't miss it. My dad says he wants to come, too. My mom wanted to, but she's slammed on Saturdays at the restaurant. So, who's all coming?"
"Uh… well, there's you and me, of course." He chuckled nervously. "And now Mitch. Deputy Doug will be there. Buzz. Jen. Jack and Andie. Krudski's coming. Oh, and, uh, Joey."
His best friend smiled. "Cool. We can probably swing by and pick up Joey on the way, then."
He blinked. "Uh-huh."
"Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Pace."
"See ya, Dawson."
He watched his friend get into the SUV. Inwardly chiding himself for chickening out, he climbed into the wagon. But as he drove towards work, his mood lightened as he thought about his day at school. He and Joey had spent Study Hall in the dressing room behind the stage. They'd passed notes back and forth through math class. At the end of the day, when he got out of Spanish, and went to deposit the books he didn't need to take home for the weekend, he had opened his locker to find a note stuck in the vent. Giddy, he'd quickly read it.
"Dear Pacey," she'd written in her beautiful handwriting. "Your end-of-novel project for 'The Great Gatsby' was really good. You had all of us laughing, even Mr. Broderick. He was so proud. Everyone loved it, especially me. I love how smart and funny you are. ~ Joey"
He'd smiled at the 'o' in her name that had been drawn in the shape of a heart. The giddiness he'd felt had carried him on cloud nine all the way outside until seeing Dawson in the parking lot had sent him crashing to the pavement.
At seven o'clock, he left the video store and drove to the Potter's house. He stepped onto their porch just as she walked out through the door. She smiled and gave him a kiss. His heart leapt and the butterflies came alive. "So, where are we going tonight?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.
"You've been saying all week that we haven't been to the movies in forever and you want to go see a movie," he said.
"Yeah, but I also said going to the Rialto wouldn't be a good idea," she replied. "Not until, you know, after we talk to Dawson."
He grinned. "We're not going to the Rialto. We're not even staying in Capeside. I'm taking you, Miss Josephine Potter, up to Wellfleet."
She laughed. "Wellfleet is like half an hour away."
"So, we should really get a move on," he said, pulling her by the hand and stepping down off the porch. "The movie starts at eight, after the sun goes down."
"The sun goes down?" Her brows knitted in confusion for a moment, and then realization dawned. "We're going to the drive-in? But it doesn't usually open until Memorial Day Weekend."
"True." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "But they've been advertising on the radio for the past two weeks that they're trying something different this year and opening a month earlier to see how it goes. It opens tonight."
"Isn't the drive-in where guys take girls to get them in the back seat and…" She arched her brows at him.
He side-eyed her. "I don't know what guys you've been hanging around, Potter, but we're going because Frequency is playing and you said you wanted to see it. And Wellfleet is far enough away that the likelihood of us running into anyone we know is slim. Also, I've never been to the drive-in before and thought it would be fun."
Joey nodding, giving him a half-smile, and said nothing more.
They didn't talk much on the ride north, mostly listening to music, and soon they arrived at the Wellfleet Drive-In Theater, the only drive-in on the Cape. He paid the admission price for two and parked in the third row from the back. He glanced at Joey in the passenger seat, noticing her tense posture. "I'm gonna go get some snacks," he said, sliding out of the car.
Soon he was back, carrying popcorn, candy, and soda, and got in behind the steering wheel, moving the seat all the way back for more leg room. Joey had already turned the radio to the station that would play the movie's audio. She smiled as he handed her the popcorn. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a napkin and gave it to her. Her gaze filled with tenderness as she took it from his hand.
The previews started. He took a sip of his Coca-Cola. "This is a date, right?" he asked her. "Like, an actual, real date?" Not just two people making out in dark rooms and on quiet streets?
"What else would it be?" Her expression was confusion.
"Well, it's not like we've never gone to the movies together before, Jo. Just the two of us… We've done it a lot."
"Yeah, but it's different now, Pacey."
He wanted to ask her what they were and what this thing was. She'd been reluctant to call A.J. her boyfriend and she had been with him out in the open. So, what did that make him? He wanted to ask her, wanted to know, but also knew there was little point in defining it before they told Dawson. It would be real once they told him. The sneaking around couldn't go on much longer; he knew it wasn't right. And he wanted it so badly to be real. They had to tell him soon.
"Why are you frowning?" Joey said, breaking his reverie.
"Just thinking too much, I guess."
"Don't think. Just watch." She handed him some Twizzlers and nodded towards the huge screen at the front of the lot, and he grinned.
An hour into the movie, he noticed in his peripheral view that she kept glancing over and eyeing him. She started fidgeting in her seat, playing with her fingers, crossing and uncrossing her legs. It was starting to become enough of a distraction to finally say something. "You got ants in your pants, Potter? If you need to pee, there's bathrooms over there."
She threw him a look. "I don't have to pee, Pacey." Then she thought for a moment. "Well, maybe. I'll be back."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"To the bathroom?" She gave him an incredulous look.
"I'm not going to walk into the stall with you, Potter," he snarked. "I mean, do you want me to walk with you over there?"
Her brows knitted and her lips pursed. "Why would I need you to walk me?"
He gaped at her. "I know what kind of guys hang around the drive-in, Jo. An old skeeze might bother you or something."
"I'll be fine," she reassured. "If anyone bothers me, I'll just tell them my date is Sheriff Witter's son and they better watch it." He smirked. "But thank you, Pacey. You're sweet to offer."
She walked away towards the ladies' room, and he didn't take his eyes off her until she disappeared from view. It wasn't long before he saw her walking back to the car. She approached the passenger side door and then hesitated, looking at him through the window. Grinning, she moved further down and opened the rear door, climbing into the back and closing the door behind her.
Turning in his seat, he stared. Her eyes sparkled with affection and a touch of mischief. "Do you want to watch the rest of the movie back here?"
He didn't need to be asked twice, and climbed over the front seat, falling gracelessly into the back, and she laughed. Sitting himself upright, he then slid closer to her. Neither of them were watching the movie. He didn't even know what it was about. She gazed up at him and his eyes drank her in. Beams of light shone through the windows, just enough to brighten her face. His heart beat like crazy inside his chest; he loved her so much.
Joey reached up and gently smoothed his furrowed brow, her hand then sliding down to caress his face. "No one has ever looked at me the way you do, Pacey," she whispered. "No one's ever kissed me the way you do."
Emotion rose up within him. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The first kiss was delicate, gentle, and slowly became more passionate, but still full of tenderness. Her sweet, supple kisses made his heart pound. The butterflies fluttered like mad inside him. When her mouth parted, he could hardly keep from groaning aloud. Her lips were so soft, and she tasted like popcorn and salt.
"Pacey," she whispered, easing her mouth from his.
He smiled, gazing into her face. Joey was radiant. Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes sparkled now more than ever, and they'd become so dark they were almost black. His hand met hers in the air and she played with his fingers, intertwining them and then loosening, over and over. She kissed his cheek, his temple, his closed eyelids, the corner of his mouth. Warmth flowed through him. He looked at her in awe.
Her mouth curved into a slight smile. "What?"
"I just…" He sighed. "I just can't believe this is happening." He had never thought it was possible to feel this happy.
Joey smiled shyly and blushed. Then she reached up to lightly caress his chin, his jaw, his cheek. Her eyes gazed at him steadily, large, velvety brown, and gentle. He wanted her to look at him like that forever. They cuddled in the back seat for the rest of the movie, talking quietly, kissing softly, making plans for the weekend. Contentment filled his heart, as fear for their future nagged at him in the back of his mind. He'd give anything if only this feeling of euphoria would last. As he drove away from the Potter's house later, the closer he got to Doug's apartment building the more reality began to sink in, and he found himself thinking tonight had just been the calm before the storm.