A/N: Thanks for your reviews; and to guest reviewer Sash; you don't tell me what to do. I'll write as many stories as I please and don't act like I've never finished a story because I have many completed stories. I update as often as I can; sometimes life gets in the way. I have a stressful job, I've had two deaths in my family in the last few months and just had to go through the ordeal of having my car die and having to find another one quickly so I wouldn't lose my job. Sometimes life doesn't leave you very inspired, but I always come back to each of my stories. If you don't like how I do things, don't read what I write; there are plenty of people who are understanding and willing to stick with me.

Chapter 3

"What's for dinner?" Jim asked as he stepped inside the backdoor that evening.

"Steak," Johanna answered.

Jim sighed as he took off his coat. "What the hell did you buy now, Johanna; and how much did it cost?"

"I didn't buy anything!" she exclaimed.

"What did you do to your car?"

"I didn't do anything to the car!"

"Then what did you do? You can't be pregnant," he remarked as he turned to face her.

Johanna smirked at him. "Definitely not pregnant; lucky for you."

"Lucky for all of us," he quipped, moving closer to steal a kiss. "So what's with the steak?"

"Well…you know that little visitor we get around here sometimes that likes to play with phones and sometimes throw tantrums?"

"Our friendly ghost?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yeah; she's back."

Jim shrugged. "Since when is a family ghost a steak worthy occasion?"

"Well…because it's not her usual kind of visit."

"I don't know if I like the sound of that," he remarked.

"Why not?" Sarah demanded to know as she stepped across the threshold of the kitchen.

Johanna sighed deeply. "I told you to stay in the other room while I did the talking."

"I got lonely," Sarah replied.

Jim glanced at the spirit in the doorway and then to his wife. "We usually don't see her at the same time…but I see her."

Johanna nodded. "Yeah…I've been seeing her all day."

"Don't say it like that," Sarah remarked. "Is dinner ready?"

"Why? You want to make the phones play music the whole time we eat?" Jim asked.

"We've got to talk about that," Johanna remarked; "We've got to talk about a lot about our guest. Sit down, dinner is ready."

"You make it sound dire," her husband replied.

"Let's eat," Sarah said as she pulled out a chair at the table. "I'm starving."

"Since when does she eat?" Jim asked. "What the hell is going on?"

Johanna sighed. "I had hoped to do this once we were settled down but since Sarah can't listen and do as she's told; I suppose we'll have to do this differently than intended. Do you recall that time Sarah made herself as whole as we are?" she asked as she fixed Jim's plate.

"Yes."

"And you know that she ate when she was like that."

He nodded. "I remember."

"Sarah is like that once more."

He looked skeptical as Sarah took a seat at the table. "It's a little early for April Fools, babe."

"I'm not joking…touch her," Johanna said as she began to bring the plates to the table.

Skepticism remained on his face as he picked up his fork. "You touch her."

Johanna reached over and poked her grandmother's cheek. "See, I'm not lying."

He still looked the slightest bit skeptical but reached out a finger of his own and poked the spirit in the cheek.

"Would you two stop poking me!" Sarah exclaimed. "I have enough problems."

"She's a bit moody," Jim commented.

"You don't know the half of it," Johanna replied.

"Can I have my dinner?" Sarah asked.

"How can you even think of eating when you ate my whole pack of Oreos!?" Johanna exclaimed.

"I can think about it because I've very hungry," the spirit replied.

Johanna went back to the counter and fixed a plate for their guest and carried it back to the table.

"So what did we do now that Sarah's joined us in this fashion?" Jim asked.

"Oh, it's not what we did," his wife answered. "It's what Sarah did."

Jim glanced at Sarah. "What did you do?"

Sarah remained silently, merely piercing her fork into the potatoes on her plate.

"She got into a snit of bitterness and jealousy…and in the midst of that she broke the rules and put herself in her current…form…," Johanna said, trying to think of the best way to explain it all. "Needless to say but higher powers weren't pleased with her and her attitude and she's been…kicked out…so to speak, until she can resolve her issues."

"Kicked out?"

"Yeah."

"What exactly do you mean by kicked out?"

"I mean…they booted her out and she can't go back until she gets herself sorted out and takes care of her unfinished business."

Jim stared at his wife with an incredulous look. "You have to be joking. This is some sort of prank, right?"

Johanna shook her head. "No…it's definitely not a prank."

"Definitely not," Sarah said with a shake of her head.

"You're serious?" he asked.

Johanna nodded. "No lie."

"We're very serious," Sarah replied.

Jim took a bite of his steak and began to laugh.

"What?" Johanna asked; glancing at him.

He continued to laugh. "It would just figure that one of your relatives would get kicked out of heaven."

His wife smirked at him. "Oh like it couldn't happen to one of your relatives."

"Your mother has come close a few times," Sarah commented.

Jim continued to chuckle. "That doesn't surprise me a bit but at least she hasn't actually been thrown out. How did you get here?"

"I was sent back," Sarah stated; her gaze on her plate.

"That noise I heard last night was Sarah crash landing on our porch," Johanna remarked.

"That had to hurt," Jim quipped.

"It did," Sarah replied; "I was quite unhappy."

"That's what happens when you break the rules and get grounded…literally," he laughed.

"It's not funny," the spirit said, tartness coloring her tone.

"It is a little funny," he replied.

"Well now that I have to stay down here, I'm going to be living here," Sarah stated; "How funny is it now?"

Jim glanced to his wife. "What does she mean she's living here?"

Johanna smiled. "Well, honey…she has to stay somewhere; I mean we can't just let her out on the street; it's not safe for her…how would she explain herself?"

"Can't she just zap herself wherever it is she goes when she isn't roaming around here?" he asked.

"I'm afraid my abilities are quite limited at the moment," Sarah replied. "I'm going to be staying here."

"Why don't you go haunt your own house that you used to live in?" he asked; "It's for sale; we saw it the other day."

"I can't go there!" the spirit declared. "It's no longer my home; I haven't been there since Patrick joined me. It's no longer ours. I have to stay here."

"For how long!?" he exclaimed.

"Probably a long time."

"Great," he said sarcastically. "Just what we need, a houseguest we can't quite explain."

Sarah favored him with a hard look. "Well I certainly feel the love and compassion here."

"Hey, you did this to yourself," he replied. "We didn't tell you to mouth off to the boss."

"Don't you think I'm suffering enough!" Sarah exclaimed. "I don't want to have to live here…you're already out of cookies!"

"That's because you ate the whole pack in one sitting," Johanna told her; "Now let's just calm down. I'm sure this will only be for a few days."

"How do we get her back where she belongs?" Jim asked.

"She has to resolve her unfinished business."

"And what business is that?" he questioned; glancing at the woman sharing the table with them.

"Sarah," Johanna prodded.

"You tell him," she muttered. "He'll just think it's funny."

"She's awful touchy today," he commented.

"Well she has gotten herself into a heap of trouble," Johanna replied; "And it all stems from the fact that she's grown jealous of people who are grandmothers."

His brow furrowed. "You're a grandmother, Sarah; and a great-grandmother. Hell, by now you're a great-great-grandmother…and in cases of other limbs of your family tree, you may even be a great-great-great grandmother seeing as how Colin and Margaret's children were older than Johanna and her siblings and Bridget's kids…so their kids are probably ahead of this section of the family in the grandchildren scheme of things."

"I am aware of what titles I hold in name only," Sarah said, bristling at the remark.

"It's not name only," he insisted; "They have your blood…just look at Johanna; she has your eyes, your chin, your hair color; that's proof that your gene pool is alive and well…Katie has her mother's eyes, there's proof that you trickled down to the great grandchildren…and who knows, Katie's baby might have those eyes too when it's born. You're a grandmother in name and blood."

"But not in action!" the spirit proclaimed bitterly. "I never got to be a grandmother in the real sense of the word."

"Sarah; you've been looking after your grandchildren all of their lives, haven't you?" he asked.

"Yes, of course…but it's not the same! You don't understand! The two of you will get to hold your grandchild; I never got to hold mine! I didn't get to bake them cookies and dry their tears…I didn't get to do special things," she said, her voice cracking. "I didn't get to be there for holidays or birthdays. I didn't get to be a Grandma."

"Sarah," Johanna said softly; "I understand why you hurt over that; I know the things you missed out on cause you pain…but I don't understand why it's more pronounced now than it has been in all the years you've had to become accustomed to things."

"Because…the grandchild I was assigned to watch over primarily is you," Sarah remarked; "And now you're going to be a grandmother…and I'm happy for you but so very sad for me."

"Sarah; how do you expect to accomplish what it is you want?" Jim asked; "I mean…your grandchildren are too old to be bottle-fed and sung lullabies…so I don't know how you're going to accomplish whatever it is that you want."

"Neither do I!" she snapped. "I'm going to be stuck here forever."

"Would calling some of those paranormal ghost busters help?" he asked.

"Jim!" Johanna chastened.

"What? I just thought it might help…they claim they help spirits get to the other side…maybe they can get her back over there."

"I assure you that they can not get me to go anywhere," Sarah retorted. "I've told you before."

"I was just making a suggestion."

"We'll figure something out," Johanna replied.

"I still can't figure out how that stove of yours actually cooks the food," Sarah said, waving a hand at the stove. "It doesn't have burners."

"It does have burners, Sarah; I explained that," her granddaughter reminded her. "It's a glass top stove; the burners are flat; they're not raised like they used to be."

"It just doesn't make sense," the spirit remarked as she rose from her chair and moved to the stove.

"Leave it alone, Sarah," Johanna said as she stuck her fork into her potatoes.

"I'm just looking," she huffed.

"The stove is the least of things that doesn't make sense," Jim remarked; "I mean we have a ghost as a houseguest…one that got kicked out of the great beyond."

"It could happen to anyone," Sarah stated; her gaze still on the stove and its knobs. "I don't see how the gas would work for this contraption."

"It's an electric stove," Johanna told her. "Our appliances have always been electric."

"Hmm," Sarah hummed, reaching out and turning a burner on. "I remember reading that they wanted to make stoves electric…but I never got to own one."

"Feel free to take ours," Jim replied; "I can go buy another one."

"You're not funny, young man," she stated, watching the burner as it turned red.

"Jim; don't goad her; she's in no mood," Johanna stated. "I know this is a very odd situation but we're going to have to make the best of it until I can figure out some way to help her with her issues; there are smaller ones that I can probably tackle first and then I'll try to figure out what to do about the grandmother thing…"

"Ouch!" Sarah exclaimed; ending Johanna's stream of words.

"Sarah!" she yelled; "I told you to leave the stove alone!"

"I just want to see how it works," she retorted, rubbing the finger she had burned from touching the burner.

"Well now you know," her granddaughter said as she made her way to the stove and turned off the burner before grabbing her grandmother's hand and sticking it under the faucet as she turned on the cold water.

"I don't know if I'd like that newfangled thing," Sarah commented as Johanna handed her the towel to dry her hand.

"It's really not all that different," her granddaughter replied.

"It is! Just look at the oven; they're so large now."

"I'm sure they are a little larger now than they were in your day but that's so you can cook more at once," Johanna explained.

"Show her the microwave," Jim quipped; "That will really blow her mind."

"I already introduced her to that earlier," his wife replied.

"I think I would've liked to have had one of those little hot boxes," Sarah said as she drifted to the microwave. "It's kind of cute…and you can see the food moving around on that plate inside since it has a light that comes one."

"Hot box?" Jim questioned as he met his wife's eye.

"I don't know why she calls it that."

"I call it a hot box because it's a box that makes food hot," Sarah stated; "I don't understand this term of microwave that you both use. What exactly does that mean?"

"Micro means small; it's a small oven," Jim told her; "As for the wave part…that's too difficult to explain; so just…call it what you want."

Sarah nodded. "A hot box."

"What do you call the refrigerator?" he asked her; "The cold box?"

Sarah smirked at him. "When I was a young girl, we called it an ice box…but I'll have you know that Patrick and I had the most modern refrigerator that could be bought in my time."

"Congratulations," Jim quipped.

Sarah glanced at her granddaughter. "How do you stay married to him?"

"Very easily; I love him; he takes care of me…"

"She can't resist me," he said lightly.

"Is that true?" Sarah asked.

"History seems to show that the large majority of the time I can't resist him," she replied; "But that was probably true of your own marriage since you did produce four children."

"That was my duty," Sarah replied. "All wives must perform their duty."

Johanna's brow rose. "I'm glad I wasn't born in the era where sex was thought of as a woman's duty rather than something she could enjoy with her husband."

"I'm glad you weren't born in that era too," Jim remarked.

Sarah huffed a little. "I didn't say I didn't enjoy it; I just said it was my duty to do it…and really we shouldn't be talking about it in mixed company."

"It's alright," Johanna replied; "Jim knows all about sex."

He nodded. "I've known about it for a long time."

A flush of color touched Sarah's cheeks. "Oh hush; I'm not a ninny; I know you both enjoy all aspects of your marriage…it's just not proper to discuss it with mixed company."

"Well then what do you want to discuss?" Jim asked; "How about we talk about how exactly you got kicked out."

"I'd rather not discuss it any further," Sarah remarked as she drifted to the small TV that sat on the end of the counter. "I want to watch the television. May I watch it? How do I work it?"

"Finish dinner, Sarah; and then you can watch TV. You yelled for dinner all day and now you've hardly ate any of it."

"My appetite has been spoiled by this discussion of my misdeeds. I want to watch television…I never got to have one of these either."

"Boy, she's really on a kick, isn't she?" Jim asked.

Johanna nodded. "It does seem that way…and I'm not sure what we're going to do about it."

"I don't know either but we better think of something…because what are we going to say if someone comes around here and sees her? You can't exactly introduce her as your grandmother," Jim remarked; "She looks too young, and no, that's not a dig at anyone about age."

"I know," she assured. "I guess I'd just have to say she was a niece or a cousin. Hopefully we won't have to worry about it."

"Hopefully it's taken care of before you go back to work," he stated.

"Yeah; I hope so too," she said as the TV on the counter sprang to life and the volume went up. "I don't think she should be left alone in the house."

"Agreed," Jim stated; "Sarah! Turn it down!"

"I don't know which button I pushed."

Johanna sighed deeply as she got up once more and went to the counter and snatched the remote from Sarah's hand, turning down the volume quickly. "You have to quit pushing buttons, Sarah."

"But how do I know what they do if I don't push them?" she asked.

"You ask first. This button here is to turn the channel," Johanna explained; "These buttons here are for the volume. The volume is fine where it is, don't touch those buttons."

"Alright," Sarah said as she took the remote back. "This is all so much more complicated than when I could just point at it and make it do what I wanted."

"That's what happens when you're a rule breaker," Jim quipped.

"Can I smack him?" Sarah asked.

"No," Johanna replied as she returned to the table. "You watch TV like you wanted and you know…try to behave for a few minutes."

"I get tired of behaving…what good did it ever do me?"

"You're in enough trouble," Johanna reminded her; "Don't make it worse. We'll figure this out, I promise."

Jim sighed a little as he cut off another piece of his steak. "What a day…work was a pain…steak dinner with a side of surprise…ghostly houseguest who wants to keep pushing buttons."

"Well…she's curious about the modern world," his wife replied.

"Good lord, what is that!" Sarah exclaimed, waving a hand at the TV screen.

Johanna glanced at the TV where Sarah had stumbled across a music video. "That's Lady Gaga."

"What exactly is a Gaga?" Sarah asked, horror on her face. "It's certainly no lady."

"She's a singer," her granddaughter explained. "Lady Gaga is her stage name."

"She hardly has any clothes on!" Sarah exclaimed. "Does her mother know she goes on the television like this?"

"Yes."

"And she allows it!?"

Jim laughed and Johanna couldn't help but laugh with him. "There's nothing her mother can do about it," she replied; "Lady Gaga is a grown woman. I don't care for her taste in fashion…or lack there of, but that's just who she seems to be."

"That's horrible!" Sarah declared. "It's practically indecent…and she's a singer? I don't even know what she's saying. I don't like it; I don't like it at all and I can't believe people allow this to go on."

"Turn the channel," Jim remarked.

Sarah turned the channel and gasped as she landed on a movie that had more nudity than Lady Gaga's music video. "Oh my goodness! These people are naked!" she exclaimed.

"Keep turning the channel, Sarah," Jim told her. "Eventually you'll find someone that has their clothes on."

"I certainly hope so," she remarked as she flipped the channel once more. "Oh, what is this?" she asked.

"Cartoons; Tom and Jerry," Johanna replied. "Just watch that for awhile Sarah and we'll find something else for you later that won't scandalize you."

"Alright, dear," Sarah said, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be a long night?" Jim asked.

"Because it probably is going to be one," Johanna told him; "I don't know if she'll sleep or not or even if she can…and if she can't; you know she's going to be up all night pushing buttons."

"Just what we need," her husband muttered.

"I'll figure out what to do about her, I promise," she whispered; but she silently wondered if it was possible for her to solve this problem at all. What if she couldn't? What was she supposed to do with a ghost? She sighed a little as she took a bite of her steak; Jim was right…it would just figure that it would be one of her relatives in this kind of trouble.