I DO NOT OWN THE TUDORS. SHOUTOUT TO TAMECHAMPAGNE AND ANNABELLEROSE1904 FOR THEIR HELP WITH THIS STORY.
Whitehall Palace. June 31, 1540.
As Anthony and Ethan collected themselves, they took another look at the garden in which they found themselves. It was very pristine and attached to a magnificent looking castle.
"Damn...this is not Windsor," Anthony said in awe.
"Then where the Hell are we dude?" Ethan asked nervously.
"This looks a lot like Whitehall Palace," the elder brother said. "This was Henry's 2nd favorite abode."
"How the Hell did we get from Windsor to Whitehall?" Ethan inquired.
"I don't know, let's try to find someone so we can ask them," his brother replied as the two made their way through the garden. As they approached the servants quarters, they came across a young boy playing with a spinning top.
"Hey boy," Anthony whispered as he motioned the boy over. "Do you know the date?"
"I should hope I do," the boy replied. "It's the 30th of June in the year of our Lord, 1540. The thirty first year in the reign of our sovereign Henry the eighth: king of England!" Ethan was floored while Anthony attempted to remain calm.
"Thank you very much," he said as he sent the boy away. Once he'd left, Ethan started to hyperventilate.
"Holy shit...holy shit!" he gasped as the elder Barker tried to calm his younger brother down.
"Just take a chill pill, OK?" Anthony advised. "We are where we are, freaking out about it isn't gonna do us any good."
"Did you not hear what that kid just said?" Ethan exclaimed. "We. Are. In. 15-freaking-40!"
"Look, maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe we can witness some history, you know?"
"How do you expect us to do that?"
"We could find a way into Henry's court," Anthony said. "It would be like a live showing of The Tudors!"
"Not fucking likely!" Ethan snapped. "In case you haven't noticed, we may be commoners from the future, but we are commoners nonetheless. The only way that we could get into the court of Henry VIII is if we were nobles." Anthony was about to agree with his brother when all of a sudden, a burst of genius sprang upon him. Once in a while, Anthony Barker got a great idea in his head and this was one of those times. Ethan turned to his brother and saw his idea face and he was rightly terrified.
"No, fuck this!" Ethan exclaimed as he started to walk away.
"Come on bro, just hear me out," Anthony begged.
"No Anthony, every time you get one of your great ideas, it always comes back to bite me in the ass, always!" his brother argued.
"This one is nothing short of genius!" Anthony insisted. "We're gonna pass ourselves off as foreign dignitaries."
"Foreign dignitaries?" Ethan asked in disbelief.
"Yep, say goodbye to the Barker brothers and hello to Duke Anthony and Duke Ethan from the far off land of Illinois!" Anthony said with passion. Ethan was quiet for a moment before speaking.
"That has got to be the dumbest idea you have ever had and believe me, you have had some wonders."
"Think about it Ethan, our story is that we are from a land that is so far away, few people in Europe know of its existence. We were sent by our king to broker an alliance with England when our vessel was lost at sea and all our crew with it. Luckily, we survived and we found someone who was gracious enough to bring us to Henry."
"Do you honestly think that he is gonna buy that?"
"Trust me, as long as we kiss his ass like crazy, Henry will believe anything...within reason," Anthony insisted. "Besides, I have a secret weapon." Ethan sighed at his brother. This would not be the first time that he'd been talked into one of Anthony's crazy schemes. He only hoped that it wouldn't be the last.
The Barker Brothers managed to sneak off of the castle grounds and turned around to approach Whitehall on foot. As they approached the castle, they were stopped by members of the royal guard.
"Halt, state your business!" One of the guards cried out. The others were perplexed by the young men's strange clothes.
"We are Illinoisan noblemen, here on official business to see the King," Anthony explained in a regal sounding voice. The guards were silent for a moment before letting them pass. Ethan took a moment to marvel at what had happened, but he knew that the hardest challenge was yet to come. As the two were led into the throne room, a herald asked how they would prefer to be addressed. Anthony whispered in the man's ear, explaining who they were and their titles, earning a nod.
"From the Kingdom of Illinois, presenting his Grace: Anthony, Duke of Springfield and his Grace: Ethan, Duke of Chicago!" the herald announced as a calm Anthony and a spellbound Ethan entered the throne room. Seated before them was none other than Henry VIII himself in the flesh. He was not nearly as ugly as his portraits made him look, but it was clear that his glory days were behind him and he was only a middle-aged man. Sitting next to him was his fourth Queen: the German born Anne of Cleves. According to the history books, their marriage was not a happy one. Henry "liked her not" and their marriage was short lived.
"Your Majesty...your Highness," Anthony said as he and his brother bowed before the English royals.
"Your Graces," Henry replied with a nod. "Welcome to my Kingdom. I trust your voyage was pleasant."
"I am afraid not," Anthony explained. "We ran into foul weather during our voyage and our ship was sunk. All of our crew, along with our valuables were lost at sea."
"We are very sorry for your loss," Anne stated in a heavy German accent.
"Thank you, your Highness," Ethan said quietly.
"You said you were from the Kingdom of Illinois?" Henry asked. "It doesn't seem to ring a bell." Ethan was sweating, but Anthony had an answer.
"That is understandable your Majesty," he said. "Our previous rulers believed in the idea of complete self reliance and we remained closed off to the outside world. However, our current monarch. King Pritzker, first of his name, has wisely decided that Illinois can no longer exist in isolation. We need allies and trading partners."
"So you have come here seeking an alliance?" Henry figured.
"Yes, the King decided that there was only one monarch worthy of his respect," Anthony replied. "Henry, eighth of his name. King of England." Everyone could tell that this pleased Henry greatly. His eyes soon turned to the men's clothing.
"I must say, your garments are quite...exotic," the King pointed out.
"We realize that our clothing may seem strange to your majesty, but it is the finest Illinoisan clothing designed for men of our station," Ethan stated, finding his voice. "We only wear the finest prairie cloth." Anthony was impressed by his brother. Maybe some of his skill was rubbing off after all.
"I would be more than happy to consider your offer," Henry explained. "I would though, ask for time to discuss the matter with my privy council."
"Certainly, we would not suggest otherwise," Anthony relented.
"Very well," Henry said with a smile. "In the meantime, I'm sure that her Highness would be pleased to hear about the fashions of Illinoisan noblewomen." Anne of Cleves nodded as she motioned for the "Dukes" to follow her. As the three took their leave of the throne room. The Barker brothers could hardly believe their luck.
"You are the freaking master bro," Ethan whispered.
"Words I don't hear often enough," Anthony replied with a smirk.
NEXT TIME, ETHAN ENTERTAINS A QUEEN WHILE ANTHONY MEETS A LADY IN WAITING. REVIEWS NEEDED AND APPRECIATED.