October 6. It was Friday night and Jen's unbirthday party was in full swing. Pacey meandered around the house party, looking for Joey. It had been after eight o'clock when they'd first arrived. It was starting to heat up. Pot smoke filled the air. Kegs of beer were flowing. Cups of spiked punch everywhere. Loud music. Suddenly he ran into the unbirthday girl herself.
"Hey, Jen."
"Hi, Pacey. Enjoying the festivities?"
He shrugged. "It's all right, but I figure… don't we all see enough of these people during school hours? Do we really need to see them in our free time as well?"
"Still Mr. Antisocial, I see." She laughed, and then stared at the can of Coca-Cola in this hand. "You're not drinking?"
"I had one cup of punch earlier and that's my limit; I'm driving. Joey, on the other hand…"
"Yeah, where is that girlfriend of yours?" Jen glanced around.
"She went off to get more punch, and that was like fifteen minutes ago. Haven't seen her since. She's here somewhere," he sighed.
Jen eyed him for a moment. "Is everything okay?"
Pacey sighed again. "I guess…" He paused. "She's acting… I don't know. Something's up with her. She found out she's fourth in the class, and you'd think she'd be excited about it, but… it was like she wasn't happy about it at all. I don't get it."
"Wow. Fourth. That's amazing. And maybe it's also overwhelming? The future can be a daunting prospect."
"She doesn't like talking about the future. She tends to change the subject when I bring it up. But she's got a great class rank, and her SAT score is really high… There's honestly nothing for her to worry about. I don't know why she seems so stressed over it. She can probably get into any college she wants."
Jen nodded. "Well, I'm sure she'll talk about it when she's ready to, Pacey. Other than this college stuff, everything else good with you guys?"
"Yeah," he said, smiling. "Things are great."
After Jen bid him with a see you later, he continued making his way through the sea of classmates, trying to find Joey. The house was huge, and he seemed to be walking around in circles, or maybe he just kept getting lost. Unfortunately, when he ventured into the large room with the indoor pool, he ran into the party's host.
"So, Witter, you having a good time?" Drue asked.
"Great," he deadpanned.
"Too bad your interesting family didn't crash the party. They would've really livened things up around here."
His mouth formed a hard line and he stared.
"You know, I have to admit, Witter, I've never seen a more radiant couple. You and Potter truly outshine every other twosome here. So pure. So virginal. It just warms my heart. Or makes me extremely nauseated. I can't quite figure out which feeling it is yet."
Resisting the urge to shove Drue Valentine in the pool, he merely glared and then walked off. He returned to the main area of the house. Most of their senior class were in attendance. Some girls waved him over, trying to get his attention, but he frowned and kept walking; he didn't want to talk to them. Even with his cold demeanor, some still had the nerve to try their luck, which was nonexistent. Only one girl had his attention, and all he had to do was find her.
"Hi, Pacey," said Meghan Arliss, flashing him a flirtatious smile, flipping her long blond hair over her shoulder. "I think this is the first party I've seen you at since school started back up. I was starting to think you were becoming a hermit." She laughed and playfully touched him on the arm. "So, uh, you flying solo tonight?" she asked suggestively.
"No, I'm here with Joey."
Another voice joined the conversation. "Right. Joey Potter," the voice snickered.
He turned to see Belinda McGovern standing there with two of her cronies, cups of spiked punch in hand, and frowned. "Well, if it isn't Satan's little helper. What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?"
Belinda scowled. "So, how long do you think this thing with Joey Potter is actually going to last? We're thinking of starting a class pool. I mean, we're all aware of your lecherous reputation, and—"
"Yes, we are." Meghan smirked, her eyes screaming her obvious attraction to him.
His face scrunched in confusion.
"And we all know Joey Potter is a prude," Belinda continued.
"I'm glad to see your education isn't getting in the way of your ignorance," he snarked.
Her eyes narrowed. "Face it. She's much better suited for another virgin, like… that asexual film geek Dawson Leery. Unless..." She grinned, her eyes glinting meanly. "Whatever did happen on your boat over the summer, Pacey? You and Joey, all alone for three months…"
"I mean, if I was her, I wouldn't have been able to resist," Meghan cooed. "But then again, I'm the exact opposite of a prude." Then she frowned. "You don't have to bag on Dawson, Belinda. He's a pretty nice guy."
"As if you care, Meghan. Or are you thinking of making a play for Dawson since Jim dumped you over the summer?"
"Kiss my ass, Belinda. I dumped him."
"Sure, you did."
What the hell was happening right now? Did he really need a reminder of why he didn't socialize with these people? "You girls really have Van Gogh's ear for conversation. I'm gonna go find my girlfriend now. Belinda, I think you should go slip into something more comfortable… like a coma." He walked away, shaking his head, wondering where in the world Joey was. He didn't get very far when Meghan appeared at his side, apparently having followed him.
"So, this is our last year of high school," she told him. "And I'm just wondering when you and I are finally gonna get together and do something."
"Try never," he spat.
"I'm talking about more than just sex here, Pacey."
He scoffed. "No, you're not."
Meghan's blue eyes narrowed. "You know I've liked you since sixth grade, and you treat me like crap. I don't understand that. What's the problem?"
He kept walking, wandering through the partygoers, scanning the room for any glimpse of Joey. "Would you leave me alone, please?"
"You know, I've been out with a lot of guys at our school," she said haughtily. "They all practically jumped at the chance, and I could easily have any guy here. I don't see what makes you so different."
"Yeah, well, I have some taste."
Meghan came to a stop, but he continued walking. "You're an asshole," she called out behind him. Rolling his eyes, he kept on moving. When he turned a corner, he ran into a familiar face. "Hey, Jackers," he greeted, feeling thankful he found a friend amidst the sea of teenagers.
"Hey, Pace. How's it going?"
"Uh… I'm all right. How 'bout you? How's the arm?"
Jack looked down at his sling. "Not great, but I'll live."
He frowned in sympathy. "Sucks, man. Are you gonna be out for the rest of the season?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"That's too bad. You were playing really well, too. Man… I'm sorry." He went to pat him on the shoulder of the bad arm, but quickly stopped himself. "Oop. Hey, uh, have you seen Joey around here anywhere?"
"Um, I think I saw her getting some punch and then she was talking to Dawson for a few minutes."
He glanced around. His eyes widened and he smiled as he saw her walking towards them. "Finally. There's my girl."
Joey kissed him and then smiled, clearly amused about something. "Why did Meghan Arliss call you an asshole?"
"Oh, you heard that, huh?"
"Uh-huh. She was pretty loud." She turned her gaze from him and smiled at their friend. "Hi, Jack."
"Hi, Joey."
She turned back to her boyfriend. "Well? What was that about?"
Pacey heaved a sigh and shrugged. "Nothing important. She's been calling me an asshole since middle school."
"Did you know…" Joey giggled and took a sip of her punch. "Did you know that she hung out with Dawson in middle school just to try to make you jealous?"
"Yeah, I knew that."
"Did it work?" She arched her brow at him while drinking more of her punch.
"No, but was there another girl who constantly hung out with Dawson that made me jealous?" He smirked. "Well, yes. Yes, there was. But I can't quite think of her name…" He tapped his chin, pretending to think hard, and Joey pursed her lips, fighting a smile.
Jack shook his head. "Sometimes it's very weird to hear you guys talk about life in Capeside before me and Andie got here. It almost feels like they're memories I should have, but I don't, since I wasn't even around."
"Yeah, it does seem kind of weird to remember there was a time before you and Andie and Jen were here."
Joey snorted. "Do you think Dawson ever found out?" she asked, seemingly ignoring everything Jack had said.
"Found out what?" His brows furrowed.
"That Meghan was just using him because she had a crush on you."
"He was hung up on her for a while—all through middle school—and, well, if he did find out, it wasn't me who told him."
She shook her head. "Me either. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Although, I was tempted whenever I got mad at him."
He eyed her for a moment. "So, have you run into Dawson at this party, Jo? I haven't seen him."
"Yeah, I talked to him a little while ago. He found out I'm fourth."
Jack's eyes went wide. "Fourth? In the class? That's great, Joey!"
She nodded, her mouth curving into a frown. "Yeah. Thanks. But I don't know why you're so impressed with fourth place, Jack. I mean, isn't Andie first?"
"Yeah, but… that's Andie. She's been first every year since kindergarten."
"Speaking of Andie, where is that sister of yours?" Pacey asked. "I'm guessing she's here."
"Oh, she's here," Jack confirmed. "I don't know where she is. Probably in a corner reading a book about how to nag your brother into applying to college."
"What about how to nag your boyfriend?" Joey quipped, her words starting to slur. "That's a book I need."
Pacey smirked sarcastically. "Ha. Ha."
Punch in hand, Joey observed the crowd in the other room, which had obviously been cleared for dancing. Couples filled the makeshift dance floor, their arms around each other, while music played. She grabbed Pacey's hand. "Let's dance."
"Sure." He turned to their friend. "Uh, see you around, Jack."
"Yeah, see ya."
Joey set her punch down on a nearby table as they walked into the other room. In Pacey's arms she floated away. Closing her eyes, she matched his steps as they moved in time, swaying to the music. He kissed her forehead. She took in his scent, allowing the heady mixture to rekindle the sensations he always brought out in her. Her mind wasn't thinking straight, but she still had enough mental capacity to let her know they were in a crowded room with their classmates and not alone in his beach house.
He loved dancing with her. He loved letting her out a bit and watching her snake back to him. He loved the moment she slid back into his arms. He loved the feel of her. What he loved… was… her. Christ, how he loved her. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, forever. "You're the most beautiful girl here," he murmured.
Joey blushed at the compliment and held him tighter. What would she ever do without him?
Pacey then watched the expression on her face change, watched her brows knit together. "What are you thinking about, Potter?" he whispered in her ear.
She frowned. It was that question, the question that had been looming over her head all week—where did she see herself in five years? She honestly didn't know. She didn't know where she'd be, or what she'd be doing. Not knowing what life had in store was scary, but it was far less scary with Pacey by her side. She could only hope that five years from now he would be right there with her, and the thought of that not being the case filled her with dread. A future without him in it was a future she didn't want. Joey sighed. "Oh, you know… just stressing about getting into college."
Pacey chuckled. "And what exactly do you have to stress about, Number Four? You got some really good news this week. You're gonna get into a great school and then you're gonna have a great life. Why are you worrying?"
She wanted to tell him, but wouldn't telling him that she worried he wouldn't graduate and she'd have to leave him behind just bring him down? Or worse, even drive a nail in the proverbial coffin? Raw emotion rose up inside her. She had to get away. The song ended and she stepped out of his arms. "I'm gonna go get some more punch."
Joey didn't come back, and before long Pacey was once again trying to find her in the massive three-story beach house overflowing with their classmates. He soon ran into Andie. "Hey, how's it going?"
She smiled. "All right. Hey, do you know where Jen and Joey are? I can't find them anywhere."
"Nope," he replied, shaking his head. "Believe me, I wish I knew. You enjoying the party, Andie?"
"Yeah," she said, shrugging. "Sort of. It's okay. I've had some interesting conversations, and… not so interesting. And of course, I managed to piss off my brother. So, what are your thoughts on the whole college thing?"
"Like…" His brows furrowed. "Whether I'm gonna go or not?"
She shrugged again and took a sip of her punch. "Sure."
He sighed, thinking it over. "Well, to get into college I have to graduate high school first, and there's a good chance that won't happen. So…"
"Pacey, come on. I know for a fact you can do it if you work hard." She suddenly lowered her gaze from his and stared at her cup. "I suppose you're gonna go wherever Joey goes, huh?"
"Are you saying I actually have a shot at getting into somewhere like Princeton, Andie? Because if you are, I think you've had a bit too much of Drue's punch."
Her eyes met his again. "No, what I'm saying is that if Joey does go to somewhere like Princeton, I'm sure there are other schools nearby that you'd probably apply to, right?"
"Like a community college, you mean? Yeah, I'm sure that'll make people proud."
She gave him a pointed look. "There's nothing wrong with going to community college, Pacey."
"Says the girl who's probably going to Harvard."
"Pacey, community college could be a good fit. It's cheaper, and there's smaller classes. I'm sure you could easily find a community college near whatever university Joey ends up going to, but, you know, CCC is actually one of the top ten community colleges in the state. Think of the money you'd save on room and board by staying here while you get your prerequisites out of the way. Then after a couple years you'd have a better chance at getting into the school you want because it's a transfer. There's nothing wrong with going to community college, Pacey. If you feel like community college really would be best for you, then that's what you should do. You should listen to what your mind is telling you, not what you think people expect of you."
"I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do, Andie. I don't know if any college is in the cards for me, community or not, or if I even want to go. So, I haven't decided if I'm going to apply anywhere, and as far as I know, Joey hasn't even decided where she's going to apply yet either. And if I don't graduate and have to repeat another year of high school, this whole conversation is a moot point, anyway."
"Pacey, I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you shouldn't sell yourself short."
"I wish I had it all figured out like you do, Andie."
She scoffed. "I do not have it all figured out, Pacey. Do I know I'm going college? Yes. Do I know where? Not yet. There are schools I like, but nothing's officially decided. And I don't know what I'm going to do once I get there. I don't know what I want to study or what career track I'm going to choose. I don't know where I'll be five years from now, or what I'll be doing, and that's very stressful. I have ideas, but nothing I'm certain about, and I'm sure those ideas will evolve and I'll change my mind a hundred times over. That's part of growing up. I don't have to have all the answers right now, and neither do you, Pacey. I don't want you to stress over the future, but I also don't want you to give up on it either. You have so much potential to do great things with your life. I've always known this. You just need to believe it yourself."
Smiling, he nodded at her words. She always knew just what to say. "Thanks, Andie. And I have no doubt that you're gonna do great things with your life." He sighed and glanced around at the revelry. "Well, I'm gonna try to find Joey. Hopefully I can stave off any alcohol poisoning. I'll see ya."
Almost an hour later, Joey was the one to find him—sitting at a table with Drue Valentine and some of their classmates playing strip poker—and then it wasn't long before he was carrying her over his shoulder and out of the house. "Pacey, put me down," she yelled.
He kept silent until they reached the Witter wagon and he set her down outside the passenger side door. After unlocking it and helping her into the seat, he walked over to the driver's side. She was still huffing with irritation as he buckled his seatbelt. "I can't believe you, Pacey," she seethed, her words slurring from the alcohol. "You can play strip poker, but I can't? That is such sexist bullcrap."
"Jo, you have every right to play strip poker, and in fact, I encourage it in the future," he said while he put the car into gear. "But I happen to believe that if you were sober and thinking clearly, you wouldn't want to take your clothes off in front of Drue Valentine. Correct me if I'm wrong, here. I mean, hey, we can go back and you can strip down in front of Drue and the rest of our classmates if you want. Just say the word."
Conceding the point, she crossed her arms and grumbled to herself. "I only did it to provoke a reaction out of you, anyway."
He grinned, and started pulling out of the driveway. "Well, it worked."
Finally, Pacey got her home, and once out of the car after hemming and hawing about her actually wanting to be carried this time, she was again talking in confusing circles. Why would she want to forgo college to stick around in Capeside when she could easily get into most of the top schools in the country? Besides, it was practically her lifelong dream to get the hell out of this town. "Just what? Stay here and work as a waitress all your life? Come on. I mean, forgive me if you're losing me here, Jo, but to be perfectly honest you haven't made the slightest bit of sense all night, even before you were drunk—"
Joey then adorably, drunkenly, but honestly admitted to him the true source of her stress. "I wanna be with you, Pacey. I wanna stay and be with you."
He heaved a sigh. She wasn't worried about whether or not she'd get into a good school. She was worried that she'd get into a good school without him. That she'd have to leave Capeside without him. "Well, Hon, if you wanna be with me, then staying here would be a really stupid idea, considering I don't plan to be here. I plan to be wherever you are."
Her face softened with relief as she broke out into a thousand-watt smile. "Really?"
"Yes, really."
Then he started walking her toward the porch. Instead of just telling him about her worries and trying to solve them together, she'd decided to drown them in spiked punch—not the smartest of choices. "I would hate to think that I fell in love with a moron."
Joey turned in his arms and threw hers over his shoulders. "So, you're in love with me, huh?" she asked teasingly.
God, she was so damn cute. "Well, not currently, no. Right now, you're just some crazy drunk girl I gotta get in that door without waking up all the paying customers at her sister's B&B. But generally speaking? Yes."
She smiled brightly. "May I kiss you right now?"
"Yes, please," he chuckled. Her lips claimed his, and even as he kissed her back in earnest, he knew she was buttering him up. "But I'm still not carrying you," he said after she broke the kiss.
"Please?" she whispered in his ear.
"Nope."
Her doe eyes gazed up at him pleadingly. He shook his head; she couldn't get her way all the time. "You can give me the eyes, but it's just not gonna work." She gave him another pleading look. "Oh, come on. Honestly, you don't—" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. "Jo, what, do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?" he mumbled into her kiss. "You think I'm gonna fall for this?" She kept kissing him. "Jo."
She pulled out of the kiss, and he admitted defeat. Who had he been fooling? It worked every time, and she knew it. "Halfway, that's it, I swear." She giggled and her arms went around his shoulders again. "I'm not kidding. My back's killing me, here." He lifted her and started walking to the porch. He also had to admit that he liked the feel of her in his arms and didn't want to put her down quite yet. "Well, I guess since you're up," he said as he stepped onto the porch, lifting her more securely.
When they got to the door, Joey reached for the knob and turned. "It's locked," she whispered.
"Do you have your key?" he asked.
"It's in my pocket."
He stood there for a moment. "Well, are you gonna take it out or what?"
"Oh, right." Joey's hand slid inside her front jeans pocket and took out her keys. Then she unlocked the door.
Pacey carried her inside the house, shutting the door behind them with his foot. A lamp in the living room was on, but all else was quiet and dark. He glanced at the clock; it was just past midnight. He quickly and quietly carried her through the kitchen to her bedroom door. Once they were inside her room, he put her down.
"Thank you, Pacey," she said, smiling.
"You're welcome."
Joey gazed up at him, her hands at his neck, her fingertips softly caressing his skin. "So, when you say you plan to be wherever I am, does that mean anywhere?"
He chuckled under his breath. "Yes, anywhere."
"So… what if I did decide to go to a college in… Indiana?"
"Then I guess I'll become a Hoosiers fan," he grinned.
"But what if I decide to go thousands of miles away, like all the way to the University of Hawaii?"
Pacey smiled down at her, his arms going around her waist. "Then I guess I'll be packing my bags, getting on a plane, and saying, 'Aloha' for the next four years."
"Or what if I want to go somewhere abroad, where they don't speak English and the culture is utterly different? Like, what if I want to study in Paris?"
"Then I guess I'll just have to get a passport."
Joey's eyes fill with emotion. "You'd really do that for me?"
"I'd do anything for you," he said quietly. "You know that."
"But what about your family? What would they say about you moving far away, just to follow some girl across the country?"
"I really don't care what they'd say. And you're not some girl. There's no one more important to me than you." He paused. "Are you sure that you'd want me to go with you wherever you decide to go? That I wouldn't hold you back? I mean, college is a whole new chapter in your life, and you might want a fresh start."
"I want you in every chapter. I thought I told you that I'm not going anywhere without you." Affection for him filled her heart, and she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. He kissed her back, and she melted into the kiss with pure abandonment, totally his. She pressed her body to him and squirmed against him, wanting his touch, desire pooling at her center.
He could feel himself becoming aroused and he broke the kiss. "Okay, Jo, enough of that. I think it's time we say goodnight."
She gazed up at him. "I wanna play strip poker with you, Pacey."
He chuckled. "I'm sure that can be arranged at some point."
Nodding, she swallowed. "I want…" Joey blushed furiously, but the alcohol made her bold. "I want to see what you look like naked," she whispered. She truly did. She knew he was beautiful from head to toe—she just wanted to see it for herself.
He blushed, but then he gave her a smug look. "You're assuming I'd lose, and I'll have you know I'm excellent at cards. I was wiping the floor with those guys earlier. So, you know what they say about making assumptions," he teased.
"Oh, please. You think I couldn't beat you? Besides, who's to say you wouldn't lose on purpose?" Her brows arched with a challenging look.
He laughed. "Believe me, I will play to win against you, Potter, especially if it involves clothes coming off."
Joey leaned closer, her arms going around his neck. "Come on, then. Let's play."
"That would be fun, but not tonight. It's late and I should be getting home."
"Spend the night, Pacey," she whispered pleadingly. "Sleep with me. I want you to."
His stomach tightened fiercely. He felt his face grow hot. "That's not a good idea, Jo—for a number of reasons."
"What reasons?"
He shook his head as he could still hear the alcohol slurring her words. "One, you have a houseful of family and B&B guests, and two… I don't have a condom."
Joey chewed on her lip, her mind and her body at odds. "Well… we can be quiet, and… we can be careful."
Laughing in disbelief, Pacey stepped back from her. "Careful as in… what? Pull out? How many cups of punch did you drink, Miss Josephine? Are you listening to yourself?" He sighed. "Well, for your information, it's been a very long time since I've had sex, so the chances of me being able to do that are probably slim. Once I get, uh, back in the saddle again, so to speak, I can probably do that, but I still wouldn't take that chance. I've never done it without a condom, and I'm not about to start now. What about your future? I refuse to be the reason it falls apart." He scoffed, shaking his head. "There's that drunk thinking again, Potter… which leads us to obvious reason number three: you're drunk."
"I'm not that drunk, Pacey."
"I beg to differ."
A glimmer of logic and reason broke through the haze of intoxication and she realized what she'd been propositioning. "You're right. I wasn't… I'm sorry, Pace." Her face grew hot with humiliation. What had she been thinking? It was her damn hormones driving her crazy. "Ugh… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"
He wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. It's not that I don't want to. Believe me, I do. You know I do. It's just that… when you and I do decide to sleep together, I'm gonna make sure neither of us are drunk."
She smiled as she gazed up at him, her hands moving from his waist, sliding around his back. "How did I get so lucky?" The corner of her mouth curved into a grin. "I still wanna play strip poker, though."
"We'll plan on it," he said, laughing. "Gretchen actually got a job, so we'll have some more free evenings to ourselves." Her eyes sparkled; she was clearly pleased with this information. Pacey dipped his head and kissed her. A few minutes later, he was walking back out to the Witter wagon with a smile on his face. As he drove towards the beach house, he thought about a future with Joey, a future that was looking more and more like a reality than a dream. A hopeful feeling rising in his chest, he now felt more bound and determined than ever to work his ass off and graduate.
October 12. After school on Thursday, Joey hopped in her friend's car and they started driving to Hyannis. As they drove out of the Capeside town limits, her stomach knotted with anxiety. She turned to her friend sitting behind the wheel, and said, "Thanks for coming with me. And thanks for driving. Bessie wanted the truck to go shopping and I didn't want to bother arguing for it. She would've asked too many questions."
Jen smiled. "No problem, Joey. Happy to do it, and Grams was more than happy to let me use her car. You know, I was alone the first time I went, and… well, I wish I'd had someone there with me."
"I'm glad not to be going alone. Thanks for telling me about the free clinic in the first place, by the way. I don't have the money or health insurance to go to a doctor's office."
"No need to thank me." Jen stared for a moment. "So, does Pacey know you're going?"
"No, not yet," she answered. "I thought about telling him last night when he was helping me study for that big English test tomorrow—we were up until well past midnight, and we'll have another cram session tonight when I get out of work. Anyway, I kinda wanted to wait until after the appointment to tell him about it. He probably would've offered to come with me, but…" The sentence trailed off.
"You don't want him to come with you to stuff like this?"
She chewed on her lip and shrugged. "I don't know… I just felt nervous about telling him, or…" She sighed. "I felt kinda awkward, I guess. The thought of him sitting out in the waiting room while I'm back in there with a stranger's face between my legs… I don't know. It sounds stupid now that I think about it. I mean, there honestly wouldn't be a problem with Pacey being there. He's actually very comfortable when it comes to this stuff. I wish I was more like him. He's just… very sure of himself, you know? He's the kind of person who could probably walk around naked in public without being painfully embarrassed. I mean… it's like he's at ease in his own skin. Does that make sense?"
Jen nodded and gave her a kind smile. "Yeah, it makes sense, and I agree—Pacey is very comfortable with himself—but it's all about what you feel most comfortable doing. This is about your health and your body. After today, you'll know what to expect, so maybe next time you can bring Pacey along. Well, if that's what you want. It's a personal thing."
"Yeah, maybe."
After a thirty-minute drive, they arrived at Planned Parenthood. While sitting next to Jen in the waiting room, Joey began to fill out the basic registration and medical history forms. Sadness crept into her heart when she checked the box for cancer and wrote "mother" in the line next to it, but she quickly pushed it down and suppressed it. Once she filled out the menstrual and pregnancy history and substance use sections, she reached the sexual history part of the form and paused.
Joey stared down at the clipboard and checked the box, "No Intercourse Yet" without hesitation, but felt she was unable to really answer the following questions.
"Need any help?" Jen asked quietly.
"I don't think the rest of this applies to me," she said. "Well, not yet anyway…"
Several minutes later, her name was called by a young woman wearing scrubs, and after casting a nervous smile in Jen's direction, Joey followed the nurse out of the room. She then was given a cup for a urine sample. Once that was done, she followed the woman further down the hall to an exam room. After taking her weight and blood pressure, the nurse instructed her to undress, put on a gown, and wait for the doctor on the exam table, and then left the room.
Joey did as was told, and then waited, looking around at the informative posters on the walls and the plastic replicas of the male and female reproductive systems. The doctor soon entered the room carrying the clipboard and smiled before greeting her warmly. The woman sat down in a chair opposite the exam table.
"So, have you ever had a pelvic exam before?"
Anxiety made Joey feel as though her rib cage were shrinking. "No."
"Are you sexually active?"
She hesitated. Did touching and fooling around count? "What do you mean?"
"Are you currently having intercourse?"
"Oh, I'm sorry… I wasn't sure what… uh, never mind. No, I'm not, but I'm going to be, uh, having intercourse. That's why I'm here." She wished her face wasn't so red.
"Okay. I'm going to ask you some questions, and I apologize in advance if they seem too personal or make you feel awkward at all. I want you to feel comfortable in this space and free to talk about whatever you need to in confidence. Okay?"
Joey took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."
"So, you're not sexually active yet, but you're soon going to be? Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Do you plan on taking birth control?"
She hesitated, uncertain for a moment, but when she thought of her future plans and the idea of actually ending up stuck in Capeside like her mother… "Yes, I want to."
The doctor looked down at the clipboard and took out her pen. "Do you plan on having sex with men or women or both?"
She stared, not having expected that question. "Uh…"
"It's okay to be unsure, Joey."
"Oh, no, no, I'm sure." She laughed nervously. "Uh, men. Well, a man. I'm pretty that's all I can handle." God, why was she rambling?
The woman smiled patiently. "Does the person you're planning on having sex with have sex with men or women or both? Or is that unknown at this time?"
"Um… well, he's only had sex with women... so far." She laughed again, trying in vain to ease the awkwardness she felt.
"So, he's sexually active?"
Joey felt her face grow redder. "Well, he was… but not, you know… uh, we haven't yet… So, I guess not right now?"
"Okay. Is the person you're planning on having sex with only going to have sex with you?"
"Well, I sure hope so," she laughed.
"It's especially important to use protection if the relationship is not going to be monogamous, and sometimes we may think a partner is monogamous, but—"
"No, it's monogamous." She tucked her hair behind her ears. "And he's definitely monogamous. Definitely. There's really no doubt in my mind."
"Regardless, it's important to practice safe sex. Is your sexual contact going to be vaginal, oral, or anal? Or any combination of the three?"
Her eyes went wide. She knew her face had to be as red as a tomato. Clearing her throat, she averted her eyes. "Well… I, uh, I don't think… not, um, not anal."
"So, you're planning on having vaginal and oral sex?"
Oh, God. She wanted to run from the room. Joey nodded her answer, still unable to meet the woman's direct gaze.
The doctor glanced at the clipboard again. "Do you plan on using condoms?"
Joey swallowed, painfully remembering her embarrassingly stupid behavior the night Pacey took her home from Jen's unbirthday party. "Yes."
"Have you been exposed to a Sexually Transmitted Disease recently?"
"…No."
"Has the person you're planning on having sex with experienced any STD symptoms in the past 60 days?"
"I don't think so. He gets tested regularly."
"That's good he's being responsible. Have you ever shared needles? Tattoos, I.V. drug use, etc.?"
"No, never."
"Does the person you're planning on having sex with use IV drugs?"
"No."
"Did you get a blood transfusion before 1985?"
"No."
"Any recent major life changes?"
"No, not recent."
"Any concerns regarding weight or eating?"
"No."
"Are you being abused, sexually, physically, or emotionally?"
She hadn't been expecting that question either. "No."
"Are you being forced to do something against your will?"
"No."
"Do you have a good support system?"
She thought of Pacey. She thought of Jen sitting out there in the waiting room. She thought of Bessie and Bodie, Mr. and Mrs. Leery… Dawson. "Yes, I do."
"Glad to hear it. Then you're very fortunate. Do you eat a healthy diet?"
"I try to, but I guess pizza and candy are the staples in any teenager's life, right?" Joey laughed.
The doctor smiled. "There's always a little room for pizza and candy. Do you work? Full-time or part-time?"
"I work part-time at the Capeside Yacht Club."
"Are you a student?"
"I'm a senior at Capeside High School."
The doctor smiled and put the clipboard down. "Okay, then… now that we've got the paperwork out of the way, do you have any questions or concerns you'd like to talk about?"
Joey played with the hem of the hospital gown's sleeve. "I guess I'm a little nervous about the pelvic exam."
"It's normal to be nervous your first time. I was, too. The most difficult part of the first exam is usually the speculum insertion. Every woman is different. Some people feel pressure, some find it uncomfortable, some don't feel any discomfort. So, please let me know how you feel. The gel I use is cold, but it enables me to check for any abnormalities. From beginning to end, the exam only takes a few minutes. Just remember to breath and relax."
She was soon lying down, her feet in the stirrups and her butt on the edge of the table, her stomach in knots. Joey listened as the doctor prepared for the exam somewhere over to the side of her. Her self-consciousness and insecurities welled up as the doctor rolled her stool over to the table and situated herself between the stirrups. She listened to the sound of latex gloves being put on.
When the external exam began, she couldn't stop the question from falling out of her mouth. "Am I… normal… down there?" she asked quietly.
"Are you feeling any pain or discomfort, Joey?"
"No, none."
She continued with the physical examination. "Everything looks and feels normal. Nothing to worry about." True to her word, the pelvic exam only lasted several minutes.
Once Joey was dressed again, the hospital gown folded neatly on the exam table, she sat in a chair and waited. When the doctor returned, she carried with her an inconspicuous brown paper bag. After sitting down, she handed the bag over to Joey. "Inside you'll find condoms and birth control pills, along with information about birth control and how it works. You'll take your first pill on the first Sunday after your next period starts. Be sure to use a second birth control method, like condoms, for the first seven days if you have sex. I'm writing you a prescription for the birth control. When you need more, you just call in the refill. Okay?"
Joey let out a shaky breath as she took the paper bag. "Okay. Thank you."
The doctor considered her a moment. "Is the person you're involved with also in high school?"
"My boyfriend? Yeah. We're in the same class."
She smiled and picked up a pamphlet from the desk. "We're going to be starting a new workshop here on Monday, and we still have a few open spots available. It's aimed at young people like yourself. It will last for three weeks and each session will be 1-hour long. I thought maybe you'd be interested, and… I think it might be good for you. We encourage young couples to attend together, but you're more than welcome to attend on your own if that's something you'd be more comfortable with."
Joey took the pamphlet from her outstretched hand and began reading it.
The doctor continued. "Unfortunately, there's a lot of anxiety, shame, and insecurity connected to our sexuality and our most intimate body parts. This can be overwhelming for so many young people, especially at this time of your life when you're going through a lot of changes, physically and emotionally. Our goal with the workshop is to help young people develop healthy relationships with themselves and others, and sex is a big part of that. Sexuality and sexual health need to be demystified. The workshop is not only meant to help young people approach sex with a certain level of maturity and responsibility, but to also approach it in a positive way. We want young people to make sensible and well-informed choices based on medical knowledge, not social stigma, gossip, misunderstandings, or fear. There's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. Sex can be a wonderful, healthy, fun, fulfilling part of life."
She nodded, still staring at the pamphlet in her hand. "Thanks," she said, before getting up and heading for the door.
"Joey?"
She turned back around. "Yeah?"
"Smile. And be sure to call and sign up for the workshop if you're interested."
She gave the doctor a half-hearted smile and then walked out the door. She quickly found Jen in the waiting room. "Ready to go?" her friend said, standing up from the chair.
"Yeah. Let's go. I gotta be at the yacht club by five o'clock."
"So, how was it?" Jen asked as they walked across the parking lot toward her grandmother's sedan.
"Um…" She didn't know how to describe it. "It wasn't that terrible, but it wasn't that great either."
Her friend laughed. "Welcome to the wonderful world of pelvic exams." After they got into the car and started heading out of the parking lot, Jen glanced over. "So, did you get birth control?"
Joey pulled the brown paper bag out of her backpack and waved it. "Yep. There's like 20 condoms in here. I got pills, too."
"That'll keep you and Pacey busy for a while," Jen laughed.
Her face went red. She pulled the pamphlet out of the bag and stared at it. Jen noticed and asked about it. "Oh, it's this sex education workshop they're having," she replied. "It's every Monday from 3:30-4:30 for the next three weeks."
"What's it say? Read it to me."
Again, Joey looked down at the pamphlet, and then she began to read aloud.
YES, PLEASE!
(Purposeful Liberating Enjoyable Adolescent Sexual Education)
Yes, PLEASE! is a comprehensive sexual health and wellness program. Within a fun and safe learning environment, young people are equipped with the knowledge, resources, and support necessary to explore their sexuality and maintain control over their sexual health. Yes, PLEASE! encourages the participation of young people who are eager for more information. At Planned Parenthood Hyannis, this workshop is LGBT inclusive and the sessions will cover a variety of sexual health-related topics.
Workshop Topics:
Sex & Self-Esteem
Implicit Bias
Sex & Gender
Attraction
HIV & STD 101
Sexual Decision-Making
Sexual Empowerment
Consent & Communication
Healthy Relationships
Jen glanced over at her. "That actually sounds pretty interesting. LGBT inclusive, huh? You don't find that a lot around here."
Scoffing, Joey agreed. "God forbid they even mention same sex relationships in any Capeside High health class."
"Well, not just here. I don't think there was a single class period where any significant amount of time was spent discussing LGBT sexual health in my sex ed class in New York." She paused, thinking for a moment. "Huh. I wonder if Jack would want to go."
"I don't know…"
"Yeah, you never know with him—he's still sorting things out. But this workshop thing could be good. Say, what if we all went?"
Joey stared at her. "What do you mean by we, Jen?"
Her friend grinned. "You know… you and Pacey, and me and Jack. What do you think?"
"Um, I don't know. I mean, maybe… I guess I don't know how to feel right now. It's like I've just taken these huge steps toward something monumentally life-changing, and… now I'm kind of unsure what to do with it."
"I think you just need some time to process everything."
"You're probably right." Joey then stared out the window, lost in thought.
October 13. On Friday after Joey got home from school, she walked into her bedroom to find her sister standing in front of her dresser with the top drawer open. "What are you doing?" she demanded.
"Nothing," Bessie replied, quickly shutting the drawer. "Just the laundry." Then she grabbed the wicker basket from atop the bed. "I gotta go," she said before walking out of the room.
Joey moved towards her dresser and opened the top drawer. Sure enough, there was her bag of condoms and birth control pills she'd gotten at the free clinic. Her stomach knotted with a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. What were the chances Bessie hadn't looked at what was in the bag? Slim to none. She hung her head, covering her brow with her hand. Just great.
She walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, where Bodie was cooking; it was a rare Friday night off for the both of them. Sometimes it felt like she hardly got to see him much lately, what with school and the yacht club and most free evenings spent at Pacey's house, and Bodie's increased hours at the restaurant over the past couple weeks because of Mrs. Leery being sick. Joey grabbed the cordless phone from the charger and returned to her room, closing the door behind her, and started dialing. Moments later, her friend answered.
"Hey, Jen. It's me."
"Hi, Joey. How are ya?"
"Um… okay, but, um, I think Bessie just found the condoms and birth control."
"Yikes. Where did you put them?"
"In my sock drawer." She started giggling at something so cliché and collapsed on her bed with a sigh.
"The sock drawer, huh?" Jen laughed. "Well, what did your sister say?"
"Nothing, but if she actually did snoop through my drawer, then I can guarantee she'll eventually have a lot to say. I can see a lecture in my very near future."
"Joey, you're 18 years old. You have every right to take ownership of your body and your sexuality."
She heaved another sigh. "Yeah, I know."
"Are you gonna do that workshop thing?"
"I don't know… I haven't mentioned it to Pacey yet. I was thinking about telling him when I see him tonight. Did you ask Jack?"
"Yep. No go. He provided soccer practice as an excuse, but I have a feeling he would've come up with a completely different reason not to go had soccer not even been in the picture. Oh, well. You and Pacey should go, though."
"…Yeah. I'll see what he says." Then she heard Bodie calling her to dinner. "Well, Jen, I gotta go. I'll see you on Monday, if not before."
"Okay. Have a good weekend, Joey."
"Thanks. You, too." She hung up the phone and walked out to the kitchen, where she retrieved plates and silverware to set the dining table.
It wasn't long before they were sitting around the table, including their B&B guests. The Potter Bed & Breakfast was now offering dinner to their guests as well—not just the morning meal—and she knew that meant Bodie had become even busier. He cooked breakfast, tended to any chores or repairs around the house during the day, prepared dinner if they had guests, and then was usually heading out to Leery's Fresh Fish before five o'clock to manage the evening shift. If only Bessie could learn to cook as good as Bodie, and then at least the guests' meals could be taken out of his overstretched hands.
"Hey, I got an A on that English test," she told him while she cut into her pot roast.
He set the bowl of potatoes down as he took his seat at the head of the table beside her. "Good for you, Jo," he said with a smile.
"Yeah, I was up all night studying with Pacey, so I'm exhausted."
"I bet you are," Bessie remarked.
Her sister's snide tone immediately made Joey bristle. She knew exactly what was behind it. "Excuse me?"
"Nothing. Pass the potatoes."
"Not until you tell me what that meant," Joey challenged.
She ignored her. "Bodie, dear, will you please pass the potatoes?"
Her sister's boyfriend and one of the guests made to reach for the bowl, but Joey grabbed hold of it. "You'll get the potatoes when you tell me what that meant, Bess."
"You wanna know what it meant? Fine. It meant either you were at Pacey's having sex all night, or you've started your own mail order birth control business out of your bedroom."
Anger flooded Joey's gut, and they started to argue at the table in front of everyone. She pointed out she'd spent three months sailing with Pacey alone, and Bessie hadn't exactly forced her to turn around and come home. "I didn't let you. You just went. What could I possibly say?" her sister said.
Joey picked up her dinner plate. "Nothing," she retorted, standing up from her chair. "Just like there's nothing you can say about this."
Her sister followed her into the kitchen. "There is one thing I can say about it, young lady. You're making the biggest mistake of your life!"
"Bessie, for your information, I'm not having sex, okay? But at some point, I'm going to, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
"You're an 18-year-old girl who doesn't understand the first thing about consequences and responsibility," her sister shot back at her, raising her voice. The B&B guests stood up from the table and started hurrying away. "You are not ready to have sex!"
"I am the oldest 18-year-old in Capeside, Bessie. My whole life has been consequences and responsibility, okay? So, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to my birth control warehouse." She stormed off to her room, slamming the door.
After fuming in her bedroom for several minutes, Joey glanced at the clock. She was supposed to be going over to Pacey's house; he was expecting her. Her gaze fell on the drawer where the bag of contraceptives was stashed. Since her appointment at the free clinic, just knowing she had protection in her possession and that she had a definite plan to start the pill after her next period had bolstered her confidence. She'd thought she was finally ready to go further if Pacey wanted to. She'd been kind of excited about seeing him earlier, and had toyed with the idea of bringing the bag over to his place and talking about it, or maybe even using one of the condoms, but now…
You're making the biggest mistake of your life.
Bessie's words kept going round and round in circles inside her head. Her sister knew she had protection, and that if she was indeed having sex, she was obviously being mature and responsible about it. So, then why would being intimate with Pacey—someone she was in love with, who was in love with her, with whom she shared a serious, committed relationship—be the biggest mistake of her life?
Bessie had been totally fine with her spending the night with A.J. in his dorm room, and had even begged for juicy details when she'd arrived home from Boston the following morning. Of course, the conversation then became about Pacey, A.J. quickly forgotten. In the short time she'd dated Dawson, Bessie often teased her about sex, wanting to know if they'd done it yet. Although she simultaneously hit her over the head with safe sex lectures, her sister still didn't seem at all concerned about the possibility of her relationship with Dawson becoming sexual. So… why would Pacey be the biggest mistake of her life?
Her sister's words had eroded the newfound confidence she'd felt. Joey stared at the clock. She knew her boyfriend was waiting for her, but it was like she was frozen in the chair, hesitating to just get up and go. Although feeling overwhelmed with confusion and uncertainty, she finally pushed herself to walk out of her room. She grabbed the keys to the truck off the hook on the wall and stepped out the back door. Yet instead of walking around to the driveway, she walked towards the creek.
Joey stared out across the water. For so many years, whenever she'd been overwhelmed and confused or angry and afraid, she'd gotten into her row boat and then climbed the ladder into Dawson's bedroom. It had been an escape, a sanctuary where she could run away and hide from her life. That sanctuary was closed to her now, and she found that she didn't mourn it too badly. Running away had its appeal, of course, and at one point that had been her M.O., but burying your head in the sand and refusing to face reality wouldn't solve your problems. Pacey had helped her to see that.
She turned away from the creek and sat down in one of the lawn chairs and watched the sun set, still unable to get Bessie's words out of her head. It wasn't long before Bodie joined her outside, carrying Alexander in his arms. She immediately knew why he'd come out there—to play mediator. Sure enough, he brought up the fight with her sister in front of the B&B guests.
"Why is she being so irrational?"
"Your sister worries about you, Jo… all the time, in fact," Bodie told her. "She doesn't want you to end up like her. She wants more for you. You know, you're the one who's supposed to get outta here. She just wants to make sure that happens."
"Bessie was 26 when she had Alexander. You know, she was an adult, and you had been together for years. It's not like she got knocked up in high school and had to drop out and miss college."
"Well, no… but she didn't go to college all the same. She never left Capeside."
"But the reason wasn't sex. Our parents couldn't afford it, not even community college, and then Mom got sick…"
"No, you're right. Well, mostly…"
"So, the fact that I have contraception should be a relief, shouldn't it? It's not like I'm putting myself at risk by making foolish decisions."
"True, but I'm not exactly sure sex itself is the issue." Bodie thought for a moment. "Bessie stayed in Capeside for me, you know? I'd left the Vineyard after high school and had come over here to go to Capeside Community College. We met and… that was it. Your sister could've left town any time, but she stayed here for me. And then she stayed here for your Mom, and then you, and then she had Alexander. The point is, your sister doesn't want you to do the same thing she did, which is the same thing your mother did. She doesn't want you to sacrifice your opportunities and stay here for a boy."
"But Bessie loves you."
"She does."
"And she's happy. I mean, at least I think she's happy."
"She's pretty happy, I'd say," Bodie agreed. "But your sister knows that you have the potential to do so much more with your life than just stick around here. You've got the smarts and the ambition to really make something of yourself, and she doesn't want anything or anyone to prevent you from doing just that."
Still unable to shake the anxious feeling that had been sitting in the pit of her stomach since Bessie had found her birth control, Joey nodded. "I haven't made my decision yet. About sex, I mean." She paused, slightly wondering why it seemed easier to talk to Bodie than Bessie about this. "Well, I mean, I know I want to, and I know that eventually I'm going to… It's just that…" She played with the stuffed animal her nephew had handed to her. "I just thought that if I was prepared, then I would be ready right now, and I thought that I was, but… now I'm not so sure."
"You know, I can't tell you what to do. No one can. For now, all I can say is that if you're having doubts about sex, then you're probably not ready to have sex right now."
Joey sighed and chewed on her lip. "Yeah," she sighed. After she handed the stuffed animal back to Alexander, Bodie stood up and she watched them disappear back inside the house. The keys in her pocket reminded her that there was some place she was supposed to be, and she made for the old blue truck.
It was after eight o'clock when Joey arrived at the beach house. Pacey opened the sliding glass door to let her in the living room. She was a sight for sore eyes. "Hey, I was just about to call you," he said, pulling her into a hug. "I thought you would've been here earlier."
She kissed him. "I'm sorry. I, uh… I got into a fight with Bessie."
"Ah." Pacey closed the door and he sat down on the couch. "What was the fight about?"
Joey hesitated. "Gretchen's not here, is she?"
"No. I told you—she's working tonight at the Leery's restaurant; she'll be bartending until eleven."
Again, she hesitated, unsure as to how much detail she should reveal. She thought Bodie was right—sex itself wasn't the core of her sister's issue. It was her relationship with Pacey, the seriousness of it, and the thought that she'd give up on her dreams for him, to stay in Capeside with him. Maybe that's what she'd meant by the biggest mistake of her life. "Um… well, I need to tell you something."
His guts instantly knotted with worry as he watched her pace around the room in front of him. "What?"
"So, yesterday after school… you know how I was hanging out with Jen before work?"
"Yeah, you went with her to Hyannis, you said."
"Um, yeah, I did…" She nervously played with her fingers. "Uh, well, we weren't really hanging out, per se, and it was more like she went with me to Hyannis…"
He eyed her nervous posture, the knots in his stomach tightening. "For…?"
Why did she feel so embarrassed about this? It was just Pacey, for crying out loud. "I had an appointment at the free clinic."
He immediately thought the worst. "Oh, God… please don't tell me you've been having sex with some other guy and that you're pregnant."
Joey's eyes went wide, flying to his. She felt stunned. "What?! Of course not! I just had a pelvic exam and got condoms and birth control."
He blinked and then let out the breath he'd been holding as he filled with relief. "Jesus, that's it? Christ, Jo. You were acting like you were about to tell me something terrible."
"Pacey, how could you think I'd ever do something like that to you?"
Opening his mouth, he almost replied that a girl he loved had cheated on him before and so it wasn't like it was outside the realm of possibility, but then he thought better of it. "And this has something to do with the fight with your sister?" he asked, avoiding giving any kind of real answer to her question.
"Well, Bessie found the condoms and birth control pills in my bedroom, and she flipped out."
"I'm sorry. Did you kiss and make up?"
"I haven't spoken to her since, but I'm sure I will at some point over the weekend. That's bound to be a pleasant conversation," she snarked.
Sighing, Pacey leaned back against the couch, the weight of her words slowly sinking in. "Wait a minute. You went to the free clinic and got condoms? And birth control?"
She averted her eyes from his surprised gaze. "Um… yes."
He had no idea what to say. "Uh… did you bring them with you?"
She pursed her lips, throwing him a pointed look. "No, I didn't, Pacey." Then she sat down on the couch next to him. "I guess I thought that I was ready to have sex, or that I was going to be ready, and felt like it would be a good idea to go to the clinic and… you know, get prepared, but…"
He watched her play with her fingers and gazed at her while she chewed her bottom lip. "Joey, is this about what happened after Jen's unbirthday party? Look, I don't want you to do anything you're not ready to do. I don't want you to think that I'm… not content or satisfied or whatever. I mean, I'm in no hurry, and I don't want you to feel pressured. If I ever came across that way… Jo, I'm sorry."
"No! No, Pacey. You've been nothing but wonderful. I just think… I think I'm pressuring myself. My body and my mind are constantly at odds, and I keep changing my mind from one day to the next, and frankly, it's exhausting."
"Jo, it's perfectly okay that we're not having sex yet. And if you're this anxious about it, then… I don't know… maybe we're moving too fast and should slow things down a bit."
Did he mean stop fooling around? God, that was the last thing she wanted. She'd only end up frustrated on top of everything else. She slid closer to him. "You know, Pace, just because we're not having sex yet, it doesn't mean… Well, there are certain things we can do, that I want to do…"
He smiled. "What kinds of things?" he asked, before suddenly wondering if she'd actually been serious about the strip poker idea or if that had just been the alcohol talking.
Joey leaned over, bringing her mouth close to his ear. "I could kiss you," she whispered.
"Hmm." An idea sprang to mind. Pacey started to move towards her. "Or perhaps I could just come over there and…" He kept moving until she was lying back on the couch and he straddled her legs.
As his hands moved to her waist, Joey immediately knew what was about to happen. "No, no, Pacey." Then he started tickling her. "Pacey, no!" she giggled, grabbing at his hands. "Stop it!"
But he kept tickling and laughing at her attempts to wiggle free. Joey continued to giggle uncontrollably, and then after a minute, he relented. Joey suddenly remembered the pamphlet advertising the workshop at the free clinic and she gazed up at him. "Pacey?"
"Yeah?" he breathed, still straddling her legs.
"Are you doing anything after school on Monday?"
"Not really." Thoughts of the True Love came forward in his mind, and he briefly mourned the loss of his boat before pushing the thoughts away. "Just homework, probably, and I'll be more than happy for any excuse to put that off as long as possible."
She snorted. "So, then, you'll hang out with me on Monday?"
"Jo, don't we always hang out on Mondays after school?"
"Well, yeah, but… just don't make plans, okay?"
"Why? What are we doing?"
She turned to look at him, propping herself up on her elbows. "Um… it's a surprise."
He stared down at her and grinned. "A surprise, huh?" He started tickling her again. She began giggling and squirming, but then he noticed her wince. Pacey immediately stopped. "Are you all right?" He pulled away from her.
Joey reached up and pulled him down on top of her. "I'm fine. It was just a slight stitch in my side from laughing." She started to gently kiss his neck. "There's only so much time before your sister comes home, and I think we should make the most of it."
Pacey smiled as he dipped his head and kissed her. "Hmm. Yes, I think we should."
Their passion soon overtook all emotions, and Joey felt the confusion and anxiety that had plagued her all afternoon quickly fade. All their worries disappeared. They thought of nothing but their love for each other and the feel of their bodies pressing against one another and the stroking touch of their fingers, until they were both limp with exhausted pleasure.