Disclaimer; Not mine yadda yadda yadda belongs to Bishop and Rowling yadda yadda yadda….

/Hurray for mind powers. /

Harry was alone and cold, every muscle in his body ached and he hadn't eaten in four days. It would have been simple to cast a warming spell, or prepare some of the food that was waiting in the cupboards. It would have been even easier to sleep in the soft comfortable bed instead of on the hard, rough wood floor.

But Harry didn't think he deserved it. He was a murderer, and he hated himself for it. The fates of men in the woods that was an act of war. He didn't like it, but he felt deep within him that they made their choices. What he did after would never leave him alone and he knew it. That had been murder. He could hear now the screams he couldn't then as souls writhed in agony, being burned alive. The faces of men and women swam in his mind accusing him.

He was a monster. He knew which side those people would have been on, he didn't have any doubts, but what disturbed him was that he didn't give them the chance to surrender or even face an honorable death. He had murdered them in their sleep.

Another part of his mind argued. This was war, those people chose the wrong side. They would have been happy to kill you or your friends. You just brought the fight to them early. Voldemort did this. He started this war, he spread the hatred, he corrupted people. Harry was just acting to cleanse the wizarding world, to make it safe for everyone. But what gave him the right? Who put him in charge of who lived or died?

He tried to eat once or twice. He knew he needed strength, that the war was only beginning. His body always rejected the food however, and the spasms of his revolted stomach only made him weaker. The bile tore at his throat and burned his mouth. He didn't care. It was only what he deserved. He could only sip water, and not too much.

He collapsed mid morning on the fifth day, his body no longer able to take the punishment of the constant physical exercise without food.

Moments after he collapsed, Jaenelle was in the room. She gathered him in her arms and they rode the winds back to the Hall. She called Karla in from Glacia to help hold the healing web. It was hard work healing a body whose spirit is unwilling. They held his spirit in the healing webs for almost a week before they allowed him to drift back towards consciousness.

There was music playing. He heard a harp, and a piano. There were two voices unlike any he had heard before singing words he would never know. The words he could not understand tore away at his spirit.

He saw again each of the men he had killed. He saw the houses burning. He felt the fear, anger, pain, and loneliness of the past week. As each new scene and sensation passed through him, the music grew louder in his ears. His mental and emotional wounds were reopened, bled clean, and began to heal. It would be a long time before he was healed, but he could start the process.

As the voices ceased their singing, he woke up. The piano and harp were still playing, but he could tell the song was ending. The room was dark, lit only by a small fire in the hearth.

"Thank you." He breathed, unsure if there was really anyone there. A few moments later, he heard the door click closed and a voice came from across the room near the fire.

"It never really goes away." Saetan's voice. He must be in one of the chairs with his back to Harry. "You will always remember them. The only thing you can do is celebrate the life of those still living. What happened?"

"They attacked a wedding." His voice was dead and flat. He spoke as if he was not involved. "There were no survivors. The families who supported it were hunted down as well. Thirty two people will never see another sunrise. Twenty of them never knew their time was up, dead in their sleep."

"Lucy told us something happened, but she didn't know what. And she never will. Does anyone really know?"

"No, and they never will either. It is my burden now. I murdered people, I am responsible for new orphans. I was an orphan, and now I have made more." Harry moved to take the other chair near the fire, and stared into the flames.

"I understand I have similar burdens. As do most of us here. Life is not gentle. Sometimes those that love the most get hurt the worst."

"I was like you once. All I wanted was a family to love and a place to call home. When I began wearing the Black jewels everyone feared me. My responsibility to the world became so great that I couldn't really settle down. My marriage was a disaster of untold proportions. Millions of people have died and the people I love the most suffered untold horrors because I chose the wrong woman to love."

"I am sorry. I think I can understand."

"No, you can't, and I hope you never will. Yes, people close to you will get hurt because of your choices. It is the same with everyone; your choices just have a more sweeping effect. Wearing and using the Black Jewels is a burden only we can truly understand. It is an obligation to the world to do what is right no matter the consequences. I forgot that one time and it has haunted me ever since."

"May I ask what happened?"

"The only reason I am telling you is in hopes you don't repeat my mistake. I married a witch named Hekatah. I thought she loved me. She loved my power and influence, and used my desire for love and a family to exercise it as her own. Eventually her schemes went too far. I killed her and everyone in the territory in one night. The territory no longer exists except as a memory to a handful of people. My biggest mistake was that although I killed her, I didn't have the guts to kill her spirit too. My love and my honor made me think she was no longer a threat. I could not sacrifice my honor to do what needed to be done."

"Over the next several thousand years, she whispered lies and half truths in the ears of people who were greedy and thirsty for power. She helped them meet each other and take power. She masterminded and orchestrated the worst reign of terror the universe has ever seen. Your Voldemort is nothing in the great scheme of things. People lived their entire lives in fear of saying the wrong thing and dying because of it. Millions of people over thousands of years. In the end, her corruption and hatred covered the entire realm of Terriele and was beginning to infect Kaleer before Jaenelle and Daemon silenced it forever. Terriele is like an empty shell now. Almost the entirety of the Blood are now dead, there is only about one person out of a hundred still alive and most of those are concentrated in two or three territories. There are no dark jewels left at all."

"I killed an entire world because I could not look beyond myself and what I thought was honorable. She was corrupt and needed to die, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Your power is not really yours. It belongs to your world, and you are the proxy. It has been given to you to control for now so you can correct the problems you are all facing."

"I never realized that being honorable and noble could be a bad thing. I didn't know that doing the right thing may require doing what seems wrong first."

"It took me my entire life to learn that lesson, please think about it. Remember it. The Black jewels are not yours. The power is not yours. The price of wielding them is to love everyone enough to do what has to be done."

The two sat in silence for a long time, watching the flames and remembering what they had lived. They never discussed it, but they both knew there was a bond between them now. They had someone who understood what it meant to be them. Two men found something they had long wanted that night.

A/N; Yes it is too short for a true chapter, but this needed to be done and would not have fit with any other chapter. The mood and theme is not something I can just drop into some other chapter as a side scene, and there isn't a good way to flesh out such an intensely emotional thing to a full three to five thousand words. I have never killed but I know it would destroy me inside. I tried to capture some of that but I know it isn't even close.

I'll take the time here to address some of the common comments I receive. Yes, Harry is different now. He is growing and changing, and his personality is going to reflect that. The biggest change in his personality we have seen in the last few chapters. The SaDiablo family just accepted him, no strings. Why? Because they understand what he is going through and they want to help. They took him in, felt sympathetic to him for some things and kicked the crap out of him for others. Daemon accepted and felt sympathetic for the abuse and loneliness of an orphan, but couldn't care less about his unwillingness to use "dark magic". Daemon already knew the war wasn't going to be won with stunning spells and tickling charms, and he forced Harry to confront that.

The SaDiablo family became a real family to him. And a real family can change you. Lucy and Jaenelle ground him and remind him to be mischievous and have fun. Daemon helps him understand women and what it means to be at war. Saetan is almost grandfatherly in his advice and wants him to be successful. Lucivar gave him what he wanted and is making him regret asking for it. This is what family does, and is doing for him. For the first time he has people who don't care about the "boy who lived" nonsense and outstrip him in fame and wealth. They treat him as an equal because that's how they see him.

The wizarding world so far has yet to really care about Harry. He has a few friends like the rest of Ministry Six (Luna, Neville, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione), but most people don't care about him as a person. They want someone to defeat Voldemort, they want an icon, but they don't want Harry as a person. With the exception of those few people, no one honestly gives a crap what is going to happen when Voldemort dies. They are going to move on with their lives.

Everyone has been happy to teach Harry new combat spells and give him pointers on how to dodge and roll, so long as those spells weren't "dangerous". But who is teaching him how to manage his finances? Who is teaching him all the many things he needs to know about his life? No one has been. When the war is over, they are hoping for a martyr. Throw a party, cry a few tears and move on. They certainly don't want someone dangerous enough and powerful enough to take out Voldemort to still be around. It might damage their own power…

The SaDiablo Family on the other hand is helping him prepare for after the war too. The lessons in love, politics, and just plain fun magic (Yay Lucy and Jaenelle!) are what he is really getting out of this. Harry is not just a weapon, he is a person and the wizarding world needs to wake up.

Finally, yes this is a Harry/Ginny fic. I am sorry, but that was made the Canon choice in HBP and I am going to use it. Romance isn't my strong suit so we won't see a lot on screen as it were, but it will be there. We will see more mischief, mayhem, and life than we will romance. War too, we will see war.