A/N: this chapter contains explicit sexual content.
December 22. On Friday morning, the last day of school before Christmas break, Joey woke to a world of white. A nor'easter had come up the coast, bringing fifteen inches of snow to Capeside. Looking out her bedroom window, she saw it was still snowing. According to the Weather Channel, the offshore storm had also caused gusts of sixty-mile-per-hour winds and thirty-four-foot-high waves in the near-shore waters. New Jersey had been hit the worst, and thirty-two inches of snow had dragged New York City to a halt. School all over the county was cancelled, as was most public transportation to and from Cape Cod, leaving Bessie, Bodie, and Alexander stranded on Martha's Vineyard.
When Bessie and Bodie had returned from their getaway on Wednesday morning, they'd had a call from Mrs. Wells, Bodie's mother, asking them to spend Christmas with them this year—they hadn't spent Christmas with Bodie since before Alexander was born. As there were a lot of B&B reservations on the books, it likely wasn't going to be possible. However, they weren't expecting guests to start arriving until Friday. A last-minute compromise was made, and they packed up Alexander and took the ferry to celebrate the holiday a few days early with the Wells family, leaving her prepare all the guest rooms by herself.
They were supposed to come back on the ferry this morning—the storm hadn't been expected to hit Massachusetts until Saturday night, but the high winds had driven the storm up the coast much faster than predicted. Now Joey wondered if any of the guests would actually show up. As she suspected, one by one guests started calling to cancel their reservations due to the bad weather.
"Mr. and Mrs. Roberts just called," she told Bessie on the phone. "And that's the last of them."
"Great," her sister said, before giving Bodie the update.
In the background, Joey could hear Mrs. Wells. "Since your guests are all dropping like flies, you might as well stay and spend a proper Christmas with your momma."
"Are you gonna be all right, Joey?" her sister then asked. "At home by yourself? There's no ferry on Christmas Day. We won't get back until Tuesday. What if the furnace breaks? What if the power goes out? I'd feel better if you packed a bag and went over to the Leery's and spent the weekend with them."
She balked. "That's not gonna happen, Bessie." While she felt somewhat confident that she and Dawson were now in a pretty good place, she thought forcing her company on him for that length of time was pushing it. "I'll just call Pacey. He'll stay here with me."
Silence. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Joey—you and Pacey, alone together in the house for days and nights on end. I don't think so."
"Are you kidding me, Bessie? You realize I'm old enough to vote and smoke and join the army, and all without the permission of a guardian? So, if me and Pacey want to bonk each other's brains out, well there's nothing you can say, now is there?"
"I've said it before, and I'll say it again, young lady: Pacey isn't eighteen."
"He will be in seventeen days. And anyway, it's not like he lives under the guardianship of his parents. He's practically emancipated, so you could say that he doesn't really have minor status anymore and is solely responsible for himself."
Bessie heaved a deep sigh. "But will he be responsible for you? For your future? For the consequences of your actions? Graduation is so close, Joey. A year from now, you could be at a great school, in a whole new city, living a fantastic life full of open doors and opportunities. Don't blow it because you couldn't keep your silly hormones in check."
Joey clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth, anger flooding her gut. She was sick of her sister butting in. It was none of her business. "Which is why I have the birth control warehouse in my bedroom, right, Bessie? Nothing will be blown." Well, except Pacey…
"Josephine Potter—!"
She slammed down the receiver, nipping her sister's tirade off in the bud. Still seething with annoyance, she walked out of the living room shaking her head. She circled the kitchen, irritated and worried that her sister still seemed to think intimacy with Pacey was so terrible. Then there was a voice she could almost hear in her ear as she suddenly thought of her mother's smiling face, standing on a chair to hang mistletoe in the kitchen. "You know, Joey, I always thought Christmas was the most romantic time of the year."
Christmas. She hadn't enjoyed it that much in recent years since the holiday reminded her so much of her parents. Last year had been the best Christmas in a long time, even though she'd had the flu. It had been Pacey's company that made the holiday a good one, despite her sickness. How she had managed to suppress and deny her feelings for him for so long now seemed like a mystery to her. Looking back, it was as obvious as the nose on her face.
But this year, she felt happier and more complete than ever before. It was time to bring back her favorite holiday and go all out as she shared it with Pacey. Besides, her mom was right: Christmas was colorful and fun and romantic. After fixing herself a bowl of cereal, she picked up the cordless in the kitchen and called her boyfriend. Less than an hour later, he was standing on her back porch, backpack over his shoulder, wrapped gifts in his arms, jeans caked with snow, smiling from ear to ear. As he stepped inside, his sister honked the Witter wagon's horn as she backed out of the drive.
Joey didn't worry about Bessie and her misgivings for very long after that. When Pacey walked back into the house, depositing more chopped wood into the wicker basket by the fireplace, he wrapped his strong arms around her and she simply melted into him. It was the quaintest few days she had ever had—snowed in with Pacey, his blue eyes entranced with her every movement, making her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, like a goddess.
But not a sex goddess. It seemed like he'd suddenly developed incredible strength to resist her tender affections when it came to that. He was always there to provide physical affection; he was always caressing her bottom, lower back, thighs, inner thighs. He was always holding her hand or kissing her neck or running his fingers through her hair. Yet when their kisses grew passionate and she would open herself to him, he never got to rounding the bases.
For two days in a row, they did nothing but cuddle, drink hot chocolate, play board games, and watch Christmas movies. Joey was beginning to think she could always live like this. Pacey seemed to anticipate her every need perfectly, and he was a wonderful companion. She could easily imagine another weekend just like it in their near future. It made her long for time to hurry up and bring the senior ski trip closer.
Early afternoon on Christmas Eve, she sat cross-legged on the couch, reading one of her Jane Austen books. Pacey was out in the garage, trying to add a couple more years of life to her old beat-up pickup truck as well as snow chains to the tires. She finally sat back and looked around. She tossed her much-abused copy of Persuasion on the coffee table in front of her. The binding was so worn it laid flat on the table.
The house was so quiet, yet it wasn't lonely. The tree was decorated and colorfully wrapped presents lay beneath it. She could easily picture a future where they had their own home together. She envisioned herself moving in with Pacey somewhere and merging her style with his. It seemed like it would be perfect. Pacey was almost her complete opposite in a lot of ways—when they were together everything fit together perfectly and felt so right.
She eyed the tree in the corner and the other decorations around the room. Bessie had been too busy and had left the decorating to her and Pacey the weekend following Thanksgiving. Joey considered herself to be sort of an artist—she wanted color around her. She wanted warmth and stimulation. Her summer spent sailing to Key West had done wonders for her artistic inspiration. She smiled to herself as the memories came back to her while she soaked up the festive atmosphere around her.
It was going to be the most romantic Christmas Eve ever. As the afternoon went on, the sky began to darken. The tree was lit, the holiday music was cheerful, the fire in the hearth was blazing, and the eggnog was cold. Even the weather had cooperated, as the storm had long since ceased but the world was still blanketed in white and the cold front would make snuggling up together in front of a toasty fire an absolute necessity.
Things started getting even better from the moment Pacey came back after taking the truck out for a spin downtown to test the new snow chains. He was carrying her mother's holiday favorite—poinsettias. Juggling the flowers, he shucked off his boots, stripped off his wet jacket, and came toward her in the soft glow of the Christmas lights.
"So, how's my truck?" she asked.
"In excellent condition. I bet that baby will get you through four years of college. The snow chains will also get you through the winter." He glanced around the room. "Power go out?"
"Nooo." Smiling, Joey patted the couch cushion beside her.
Pacey set the flowers down on the coffee table. "I'm kidding. I recognize a romantic Christmas Eve when I see one."
Her brows knitted. "And how many romantic Christmases have you had, Pacey?"
"Uh… well, technically none, but I thought last year had its moments."
"You mean when I had the flu and was delirious with fever half the time," she snarked.
He smiled, memories floating back to him. "I liked reading to you by the fire."
"Mmm. I liked that, too."
Gently, he pushed his girlfriend backward against the cushions. His fingers delved into her hair, stroking. His mouth found hers, and their bodies settled familiarly—exquisitely—together.
"Where's the pizza from Carmine's?" He grinned. "You can't perform a cheap seduction routine without it, Potter. Not even at Christmas. I'm not that easy, you know."
Joey rubbed her cheek against his, then nuzzled his neck. His scent filled her nose; strong, familiar, safe. She loved him more every day. "The pizza is in the kitchen, keeping warm inside the oven, as usual. But I've got other plans for you right now, and they're happening right here."
"I love them already," Pacey said, bringing her close for another kiss. "As it happens, I've got a few plans of my own."
Joey noticed the sprig of mistletoe in his hand. She smiled and dropped the matching sprig she'd been hiding. As far as romantic Christmases went, she thought this one was starting out perfectly. She had a feeling it would end that way, too.
"Ho, ho ho," she murmured, kissing him back, and he laughed against her lips.
Breaking the kiss, Pacey rubbed her red sweater between his fingers. It was velvet, and so soft. "I like this," he whispered.
She smiled. "It was my mother's. I pilfered it out of Bessie's closet for the occasion."
His lips captured hers once more. He wrapped his arms around her and ran his hands up her back, sending shockwaves through her. His hands were warm through her clothes, making her body feel as if it was on fire. Their kisses became feverish, passionate. She adjusted her seat on the couch and spread her legs, inviting him in. He leaned over her, his hand caressing up and down her thigh as his hips settled against hers. Her hand reached between them to rub him through his jeans.
Then Pacey pulled away from her, returning to a sitting position on the couch. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. Joey looked at him, confused. While she had tried to treat this new behavior lightly over the past couple days, it was now starting to form a tight knot in the pit of her stomach. Didn't he want her? Why was he still pulling away? "Pacey, if you keep rejecting my advances, you're gonna give me a complex."
"What do you mean, Jo?" he said, clearly trying to laugh it off. "I'm not rejecting anything. I'm just… feeling hungry. Let's go eat."
"No, that's not it. Something's wrong." Panic started to rise up, but she had no idea why or what for. He wouldn't touch her, wouldn't let her touch him, and it had come on all of a sudden as if from nowhere. Did something happen that he wasn't telling her about? Did he feel guilty about something? It couldn't be another girl, right? There was no way. He couldn't possibly… "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, Joey."
"Don't you dare lie to me, Pacey Witter."
He sighed. Sex had become one of those things they never talked about, like the future. While he had tried to drown out Will Krudski's words and forget the everything but conversation, it had festered in his mind like a blister, and he knew he wouldn't be able to get past it until that blister was lanced. "Look, Jo, you don't have to do this stuff out of pity or something."
She looked at him with confusion in her brown eyes. "Pity? What do I have to pity you for? Pacey, what are you talking about?"
He put his head in his hands and sighed. "I'm not explaining this right. Maybe pity isn't what I mean." He sat back up and looked at her. "Look, Jo, I know you're not ready for sex, and you're scared, and I get it. It's fine. I honestly don't mind waiting, but…" He felt embarrassed and stupid and afraid all at the same time. If he was wrong, he was an idiot. If he was right… "I don't want you to feel like you need to, you know, fool around with me just to keep me appeased so that I won't ask for more than you want to give me."
Joey stared, agape, for his words were so out of the blue it was surprising. "Pacey, where in the world did that come from? Why would you think that?"
He hesitated, chewing on his lip, not looking her in the eye.
"What's going on inside that head of yours?" she asked quietly, reaching over to hold his hand.
"I was maybe starting to think that I might be your everything but guy."
"Everything but?"
"Yeah, you know… Girls will sometimes do everything but have sex because they want to wait for the person they really want to be with."
She shook her head, a sense of sadness replacing the knot of fear. Did he still not realize just how much she loved him? It quickly turned into exasperation. "Pacey, you're the only one I want to be with."
"But, you know, you spent years wishing and hoping and assuming that your first time would be with Dawson. And I guess I'm just… scared… that there's a little piece of your heart that still hopes and wishes it could be him. That small part of you that never wanted it to be me, and maybe still doesn't."
Joey nodded her understanding and crossed her legs, wrapping her hands around her knee. "Well, that's true. I used to think that way about Dawson, but not anymore. I also used to think me and Dawson would make this perfect little family in a perfect house with perfect kids and we'd be perfectly happy for the rest of our lives. And that's never going to happen. I'm not going to have a future with Dawson. I want to have a future with you."
He smiled, relief filling his chest.
"Pacey, when I said my future lies with you, I meant it. You're the one I want to share my life with. And when I think about sex—and I think about it a lot—you're the one I want to have it with, and nobody else."
"Really?"
"Yes, Pacey. I can understand if you're frustrated, but I thought you were fine with waiting."
He turned to look her directly in the face. "I have been fine with waiting, Jo. I've been too scared to sleep with you too soon. I don't want to screw this up. I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize the most amazing relationship I've ever had. I'm happy that we didn't rush into it, that we took the time to really fall in love and build a strong foundation of friendship and trust. And, well, we're here now. This is six months and counting. So, I just… I want… I need for you to know that if our relationship isn't going to progress to that next level, it's not because of me."
"Pacey, I want you. I want you in all the ways it is possible to want a person. I honestly thought you knew that by now."
"So, then what's holding you back? I know you're scared, but do you think that I'm not scared? I'm terrified, Jo."
"You are?" What reason did he have to be scared? He was the experienced one.
"Yeah. But what is it that you're afraid of?" His face fell slightly, one of his fears rising to the fore. "Are you afraid that it'll be… a bad experience? Are you scared of me? That… that I'll hurt you?"
"No!" Joey took his hand in both of hers, imploring him with her steady gaze. "Of course not. I've heard a lot of girls complain that their first time was not a good experience, but I don't worry about that at all because I'll be with you. And you could never hurt me, Pacey." She wasn't that scared of the pain, if there was any. She recalled from the sex ed class they took that it was possible, between having an active lifestyle, getting a pelvic exam, tampons, her fingers, and Pacey's fingers, that she didn't have much of a hymen left. "Besides, that part is only temporary. It was the more permanent things that scared me."
A part of her wanted to tell him that she wasn't really scared anymore. At least the things that scared her weren't enough to prevent her from moving forward and living the life she wanted to live. She was ready, and wanted it just as much as he did. She wanted to tell him so, but then she'd have to come up with a reason she was still waiting. The ski trip was starting to mean so much to her. She truly wanted it to be a surprise, wanted it to be the most romantic weekend of Pacey's life, wanted to show him just how special and important he was to her. That he was worth the wait. He always went out of his way to show her kindness, make her feel cherished and safe and valued. He deserved the same.
"Like what things?" he prodded, his tone gentle.
"I guess I've just been scared of making a mistake that will ruin my life."
His heart sunk within him and he looked away. "Oh."
Joey grabbed his hand, forcing his gaze back to her. "Please don't mistake my meaning. I don't mean you would be the mistake. I mean, I've been scared of getting pregnant, missing college, and getting stuck here in this town for the rest of my life. My mother got married practically right out of high school and then she had Bessie. She gave up on art school and stayed in Capeside to be with my dad. She devoted thirty years to a man who ended up sleeping with every floozy in town while she was dying of cancer. As much as I love my mother, I do not want her life. She died young and she died poor. She sacrificed everything for a guy, and in the end, he broke her heart. That is not going to be me, Pacey."
"That won't be you, Jo." He gripped her hand. "I promise. I don't want you to sacrifice anything. I want you to follow your dreams. I know you're going to do amazing things. I know you're going to have a beautiful, brilliant life. I'll do everything I can to make sure of it."
She smiled. "I know you will, which is why you could never be a mistake." Joey reached up, caressing his cheek and jaw with her fingertips.
He grinned, the air between them becoming lighter, less intense. "And for the record, I will never run around with any floozies."
"What if you get bored of me and want someone more exciting? What if five years from now you don't want me anymore and the floozies start looking good? What if something happened, like I got sick, and wasn't able to give you what you wanted? I mean, there are lots of floozies out there who would be more than willing. I just know you're going to become an amazing man, and I bet there will be plenty of women who would claw each other's eyes out for one night with you." She hoped she came across as teasing and light, and not as if she was voicing one of her worst fears.
"Bored?! Joey, nothing about you is boring, and I've known you since we were six years old. I've loved you this long, haven't I?" He grinned at her. "But seriously, Jo. Wanting anyone other than you… I mean, I can't even wrap my head around it. Just the thought of being with anyone other than you makes me sick to my stomach."
She blushed, smiling again, and threaded their fingers. "I want to do it, Pacey," she assured him once more. "I want to have sex with you, and only you."
He gulped. Butterflies erupted in his stomach. "Now?"
Joey laughed. "No, not right now, but… soon, at the right time."
Grinning, Pacey leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. "Just tell me when and where, Potter, and I'm there." His kiss was gentle, but deep. Framing her face with his hands, he drew back, then kissed her from another angle, then another. Each kiss was slow, intimate. He used his tongue to communicate dozens of silent words, none as meaningful as the look he gave her when he held back for a minute. I love you, his eyes said, and he kissed her again. Then he took hold of her hand and stood them up from the couch. "Let's go eat. I'm starving."
Once their dinner had been consumed, Pacey excused himself to take a shower as he felt grimy from working in the garage on the truck all day. Joey returned to the living room and added more firewood to the hearth before making two mugs of hot chocolate in the kitchen. Then she stoked the fire to a blaze and sat on the couch, where he soon joined her. She snuggled against his fresh, clean warmth while they drank hot chocolate and watched It's a Wonderful Life.
Pacey's eyes flickered over to the Christmas tree for what seemed like the hundredth time since last weekend. The two gift boxes sat beneath the tree with the tag in clear sight: "For Pacey. From, Joey. Do not open until Christmas." The gold foil wrapping and brightly colored royal blue ribbon that tied both presents together had made it quite a temptation. The gifts looked mysterious and exciting from across the room. He wondered for the countless time what they could be.
"Um, Jo… what if we exchanged presents tonight, instead of in the morning?"
"What? And break tradition?" She grinned as she followed his gaze to her gift underneath the tree. She had to admit, his presents did stand out among the rest, and inwardly congratulated herself on her wrapping job. "We'll open them on Christmas morning, as planned."
She eyed the other gifts under the tree. "I hope you behaved yourself and didn't do anything over the top."
He turned to look at her, brows shooting up. "Who, me? Over the top? I don't know what you're talking about, Potter."
"Just promise me you didn't do any of your grand romantic gestures."
Pacey paused a moment. "What would constitute something grand, in your opinion?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe buying me another wall to paint."
"Technically, the one you have now I haven't bought yet, Jo. It's still under the lease."
"Whatever. You know what I mean. You promised me that you would be sensible and practical."
He glanced over at the gift-wrapped box he'd placed under the tree on Friday. While the gifts he'd brought over for Bodie and Bessie and Alexander all had the same red and green wrapping, Joey's had been done up in purple and silver. He gave her a knowing smirk. "I promise you it is very practical, Jo."
An hour later, the fire had died down a little and the hot chocolate was gone, but It's a Wonderful Life was still playing out on the screen. After taking their empty mugs to the kitchen and setting them down in the sink, Joey went to her bedroom to change out of her jeans and into a comfortable set of plaid pajamas. When she opened the top drawer on her dresser to retrieve a clean pair of fuzzy socks, she laid her eyes on the brown paper bag she'd gotten from the free clinic. There were a whole lot of condoms inside it.
Again, she felt the push and pull of an inward tug of war with her mind and her body. Her heart raced and she felt the warmth of desire rise up inside her. Part of her didn't want to wait another minute, wanted to go back out there to Pacey and have him right here, right now. Another part of her held firm to her plan for the senior trip, and dreamed of a secluded cabin at a mountain resort, a big comfy bed and a crackling fire—a whole weekend devoted to exploring each other and this brand new element to their relationship.
The dream won out.
Her heart still racing with excitement for the future, and her stomach alive with nerves, like butterflies trapped in a glass jar, she closed the sock drawer and left her bedroom.
Pacey turned his head from the television, hearing the sound of Joey's footfall, and watched her as she walked back into the living room. A smile spread across his face as he took in her casual appearance. For a moment, he thought back to how she'd done herself up the previous weekend. The dress and heels were gone, the jewelry and the makeup. She was just as beautiful, if not more so, in this state than when she had attended the Worthington party.
"Shorts?" he said, raising his eyebrows at her as she sat down next to him. "It's gonna drop down below thirty tonight, you know."
"Oh well," she shrugged. She'd paid no attention to the weather forecast. "If I get cold, you'll keep me warm."
He smirked at her, and her eyes twinkled back at him. She turned her head to look at the television screen, her stomach still doing somersaults. It's a Wonderful Life was still on. They sat watching together for a few minutes, but her mind kept drifting to the condoms in her dresser. The senior trip was just six weeks away. She could wait until then—she wanted to wait until then.
There were certainly ways to make the wait not so bad, but she hadn't forgotten how her boyfriend had rebuffed her every move so far this weekend. She hoped their talk earlier had put his mind at ease, but she couldn't be totally sure and hesitated to make another move. Joey allowed her mind to daydream about the ski trip instead, and the taunting images of Pacey finally taking her to bed made her body throb with desire. She played with her fingers, chewed her bottom lip, and starting bouncing her leg up and down.
Pacey could feel her nervous energy, and it soon distracted him from the movie. "Why are you so fidgety?"
Joey immediately stilled her leg. "Um… I don't know." She averted her eyes from his, feeling her face start to redden.
He gave her a suspicious look. He could still sense the nervous energy emanating from her, and he didn't quite understand it. As they continued sitting together on the couch, watching TV, from time to time he would catch her looking at him, licking her lips, and then her eyes would dart back to the television. Did she want to make out and fool around? Was that it? Why wouldn't she just say so? He decided he wasn't going to question, or initiate anything. He was gonna enjoy watching her make herself crazy.
Sitting next to Pacey, thinking about the senior trip, made Joey unable to concentrate on the TV. She ran her plans over and over in her mind, and felt keen with anticipation for what would surely be the most perfect weekend of her life. She could feel herself grow warm, her inner muscles clench. She glanced at Pacey, her eyes roaming over him up and down as she licked her lips.
He turned to stare at her, his eyebrows rising. He smirked. What was up with her? Her perusal was starting to turn him on, starting to send his hormones into heart-pounding overdrive. His groin tightened. Joey saw his pupils dilate, and she chewed her lip. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Images of lust flooded his mind, and he saw her naked, moaning his name, under his hands, under his mouth, under his body, burying himself inside her.
Joey cleared her throat. "Bessie and Bodie will be back in a couple days. I'm sure I'll be in for another lecture when they find out you've been staying here since Friday."
He grinned, deciding to tease her. "Well, when your sister gets here, you can assure her that I was a perfect gentleman the entire time and didn't lay a finger on you."
"You think that's what I want?" Joey asked suggestively. She blushed and shifted uncomfortably, becoming increasingly aware of her growing arousal.
They gazed at each other, seemingly waiting for the other to make the first move. The clock struck ten o'clock, and It's a Wonderful Life went off the air. Joey reached for the remote between them and shut off the television. Blood pumped through Pacey's veins as he watched her. Their connection thumped between them, the intensity growing as they made eye contact. Her gaze drifted, and she noticed the pronounced bulge in his jeans.
Without a word, she moved off the couch, dropping a pillow on the floor in front of him and going to her knees on top of it, her palms spreading his legs slightly apart. She knew he wouldn't be pushing her away this time. "I want to give you something," she said.
He started breathing heavily as she slid her hands up his thighs to the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button and taking the zipper down. A surge of heat rose inside his body, spreading to his limbs.
Her hands slid into the open waistband, gripping it along with his black boxers, and tugged down just enough to release his thick, heavy shaft. The size of him was still impressive, and she felt her heart race and her mouth water. She moved up over his lap and curled her fingers around the base of his cock. His whole body tensed, anticipating the wet heat of her mouth.
But he still tried to push her away, his heart pounding, his breath ragged. "Jo, you really don't have to do this…"
She leaned in and touched her tongue to the tip of his erection, and a shot of heat scorched along his veins. "Do you really think I only do this to throw you a bone? No pun intended," she smirked. When she slid her tongue along his hardening length, he nearly lost his grip on his control and had to ball his hands into fists. "That I don't actually like doing this, and I only do it because I hope you'll be happy with just this and that way I won't ever need to have sex with you? So that I can save my precious virginity for Dawson? That's what you meant by everything but, right?"
He was panting now. "Why does it sound so stupid when you say it?"
"Because it is stupid. And because it's not true, Pacey. I want to do this. I like doing this." Joey gave him a wicked look, and circled him with her tongue, giving extra attention to the sensitive underside of the cockhead, then licking along the shaft down to his balls and back up again. He quickly became rock hard, and she pressed tender kisses along his pulsating flesh. "Now you know how I feel. All the time. Every time I'm with you."
She squeezed him tighter and then closed her mouth around him, wetting his shaft with her tongue as she went down until her lips met her fist, then drew back up. Pacey groaned, and his hips lifted slightly off the couch. She now knew exactly how he liked it; she knew exactly which buttons to push. She started going deeper, faster, stroking his engorged cock with both hands. Her mouth tightened as she sucked forcefully. Pulling back from him, she slowly circled her tongue around the sensitive head and then took him deep inside her mouth so fast that his eyes rolled.
Pacey clung to her, his fingers buried in her hair as she licked and sucked and squeezed him, poured out her desire to make him feel good, to give him pleasure, to show him physical affection. It humbled him. He really had been an idiot.
"Oh God," he panted as he gazed down at her. He could feel the pressure building at the base of his spine, his muscles tensing.
Heat spread through her nerves to pool in her throbbing center. Joey's knees shifted apart as her body undulated with longing. The scent and taste of his skin, the sound of his groans, flooded her senses. His control was starting to fray. His hands went into her hair, holding it back from her face, gripping tight but not too hard. With a moan that vibrated around his cock, she took him deeper until he hit the back of her throat.
"Jesus Christ," he hissed.
Pacey's leg muscles tightened as he struggled for control. He watched her lips trail up and down his shaft. Hot, wet, the suction an unbelievable sensation. He was going to come. No, no, no. His hands went to her shoulders and moved her back. Joey looked up into his darkened blue eyes. Hot, male desire contorted his beautiful features; his fat cock throbbed in her hand.
"What's the matter?"
He hadn't really wanted to stop her. He desperately wanted to pull her head back down on his cock, to pump himself in and out of her soft, wet mouth until he exploded. But that would be too quick. He wanted to relish these times together, wanted them to last as long as possible.
"If you keep going like that, it'll be over for me," he breathed. "I don't want it to be over so soon."
She grinned, her eyes twinkling mischievously, and licked her lips. "This isn't the last time we're ever gonna do this, ya know. Don't you want to come, Pacey?"
He panted. His brows furrowed, and his face grimaced with desire. "Jesus, Potter." As much as he wanted to come in her mouth, the desire to come deep inside her body was much stronger. He longed to be closer. He wanted to melt into her until they became one person, two halves completing the whole. He knew it would be worth the wait.
She started gliding her hand up and down his shaft. A pearly drop had formed at the tip. She bent forward, licking it away from the head.
"Fuck, baby," he gasped. He felt his climax building, felt the tightening in his balls that told him he wouldn't be able to resist much longer.
She quickly closed her mouth over him again. She wanted more, wanted to take him as deep as she could. The head of his cock brushed against the back of her throat. His groans filled her ears and she sucked harder. She glanced up at him and met his gaze. His eyes grew darker, and his face flushed with a look of such ecstasy it made her center throb with pleasure at giving that to him. His climax surged through him. He felt the liquid release running through his lower belly and down to his groin. Loud moans escaped his throat as he came, pulsing into her mouth.
Joey felt his gentle hold on her head and their eyes met as he watched her swallow his release. Her clit throbbed intensely, begging for relief, and her inner walls clenched with need as her throat worked around him.
Pacey's head fell back against the couch as he panted. "Joey… that was…" He breathed huskily, unable to finish the sentence.
She smiled, and released her hold on his softening erection, caressing and kissing him there a few times. She then placed her palms on his thighs and pushed herself up off the floor, relieving her knees, kicking the pillow aside. Her center was hot and swollen, her inner thighs slick. She looked down at where he sat on the couch, his breathing returning to normal. He reached for the waistband of his boxers and jeans, pulling them up around his hips. He gazed up at her with heavy lids, his expression full of satisfaction.
"We could've been doing this all weekend if you hadn't been so ridiculous, Pacey. Everything but, my ass. What nonsense."
He chuckled. "I know. I'm sorry." He watched her rub her thighs together, and smirked. "Let me make it up to you."
Pacey inched closer to the edge of the couch cushion, his hands reaching out toward her. He stroked the soft skin of her thighs, the backs of her knees, as he looked up at her. Masculine appreciation rid the exhaustion from his eyes. Joey stood in front of him. She suddenly felt a little shy even as her heart ached for his touch. He ran his hand from her shoulder down her arm, over to her stomach. One lean hand slid under the pajama top, against her rib cage, warm and teasing.
"Kiss me, Joey," he breathed, and then his hand moved up and cupped her soft, firm breast. His head lifted to watch her aroused, delighted reaction.
She brought up her hands to hold his face, her thumbs caressing his cheeks, and dipped her mouth to his. She kissed him, hard, eager, her hands moving to his hair. Her body throbbed with desire. His hand left her breast to flick open the buttons of her pajama top. He spread it open, revealing her bare skin underneath. His thumbs gently rubbed over her nipples as he fondled her breasts. Masterfully, he enticed her nipples to erection, and a smile of triumph lighted his eyes as he watched them harden. He looked into her eyes, the ocean blue of his gaze blending into the chocolate brown passion of hers.
His hands lowered, down her stomach, over her clad hips, to her bare thighs. His fingers stroked a path of fire over her body and stoked the aching need at her core. One hand captured her thigh in his grip while the other moved to her mound. To his delighted surprise, she wore no underwear beneath her pajamas. His strong fingers brushed her thigh up and down, teasing her, heightening her desire, until he pushed aside the crotch to her shorts.
Pacey leaned forward and kissed her stomach, murmuring her name against her flesh. Joey could never get over how he spoke her name this way, the amazement and reverence in his voice. "Your skin is so soft," he whispered as his lips caressed her belly and his fingers grasped and curled her feminine hairs. He gazed up into her eyes as his hand reached into the warmth between her thighs and she gasped. She was hot and wet and ready for him, and she moaned out her need.
Joey rocked with him, feeling that slow spiral of satisfaction that was just beginning, the all-consuming pleasure that obliterated reason, thought, hope. Her body took control of her thoughts. She only wanted him to never stop. She felt a surge of heated excitement at her center, her clit tightening and wet desire flowing out from inside her, and she started to squirm and whimper.
Pacey's fingers sunk into her folds and gathered her juices forward to circle her swollen clit. She moaned, moving her hands down from his head and to his shoulders. He then slid two fingers down to her entrance, and slowly slid inside her to the knuckles.
Joey whimpered. Her nails bit into his shoulders as jolts of pleasure rippled from her core to her brain. She rocked against Pacey's hand as he started to massage her clit with his thumb along with the thrusts of his fingers. Her hips moved with his hand as his mouth moved up her belly, kissing and stroking his tongue against her skin. He wanted to taste more of her.
Pacey slid forward off the couch, going to his knees. He shoved her shorts aside and buried his face in her pussy. Each lick and suck and groan amplified her desire. The ministrations of his curled fingers inside her and the fast, hard strokes of his tongue soon caused her body to go rigid, and she felt that delicious tension heightening toward its peak.
"Pacey… I'm gonna… I'm gonna," she moaned. The relentless attention made her head swim.
"Come on my fingers, Jo," he breathed, picking up the pace. As much as he wanted to taste her orgasm, he wanted to feel it more. He wanted to feel her pussy clenching around his cock, wanted to see her face, her eyes, as she lost herself in what he could give her. He knew it would be worth the wait.
Joey's head fell back as his mouth returned to her needy clit and she gripped his shoulders even tighter. She was so close, and his talented tongue was going to send her right over the edge. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that's it. Pacey, don't stop. Don't stop."
Her clit burst into a powerful orgasm, her muscles clenching around his fingers. She screamed and groaned when she came. Ecstasy raced over her skin; pure pleasure filled her mind. Her body couldn't take anymore. Her legs didn't want to hold her up. But she needed more, grinding against his mouth even after his touch became too much. Pacey held her against him as her orgasm subsided, kissing and licking away the wetness from her thighs that she had made, they had made.
Then he was pulling her down onto his lap and curling his arms around her, holding her tight as he sat on the floor, his back up against the couch. Joey's arms went around his shoulders and she bent her head to kiss him tenderly. "I love you so much," she murmured blissfully.
He nodded, smiling, and brushed his nose with hers. "I love you so much."
Later that night, when in bed and lying with her arm around him, spooning him from behind as he lay on his side, Joey pressed herself into his back and placed her lips close to his ear. "You're not my everything but, Pacey," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. He turned in her arms to face her, gathering her close against him, searching her face. Her eyes were wet.
"You're my everything." She held his face in her hands, her thumb brushing over his lips. "Don't ever doubt it."
"And you're mine."
Joey snaked her arms around him again, this time with her hands under his shirt, her fingers against his bare skin. She nuzzled his neck, tightening her hold on him. His warmth and comforting scent enveloped her, and she felt the lull of sleep begin to pull her under. "Tomorrow is gonna be a good day," she murmured.
"Oh, yeah? Looking forward to spending the morning at my mom and dad's with the Witter clan? Five kids under the age of ten, running around, causing mayhem. My brother-in-law Steve yelling at them. My dad bitching about the noise. My mom calling you anything but Joey. My sisters arguing. Getting a gift from my parents that's probably a pair of socks or something. Sounds like fun to you?"
"I wasn't talking about that part. Although, speaking of your family, do you think they'll like my presents?"
He chuckled. "Joey, a gift certificate to the yacht club's restaurant is more than my parents deserve."
"I'm determined to make your mom use my right name by the time we graduate. But not just them, I got the concert tickets for Gretchen, that coffee table art book for Doug, the cozy fleece blanket and the mug with photos of the girls for Carrie, dolls and board games for the kids, travel coffee mug and carafe for Steve, and a photo album for Amy. You said she loves to take pictures and scrapbook, right?"
"Yeah. They'll love them, trust me. You did add my name to the cards?" He arched his brow questioningly.
She rolled her eyes. "Seeing as how you paid for most of it, yes, I did." Then she snuggled closer, inhaling his scent. "Enough about them. I'm going to dream about what you've got waiting for me under the tree," she said with a lazy smile.
Pacey grinned. "Do I get any hints about those gold-wrapped ones with my name on it?"
She yawned and shook her head. "You'll just have to wait. Why ruin the surprise?"
"You're right. I can wait."
She mumbled something about true love before falling asleep in his arms. Pacey smiled slightly. He liked it when she nuzzled his neck and tucked herself into his embrace. He knew he made her feel safe and loved, and that this was one of the reasons she loved him. He held her closer to him and closed his eyes.
Joey awakened with a tingling sensation and fluttering heart. "Pacey… Pacey," she whispered in his ear.
He stirred slightly but didn't open his eyes. "Hmm?"
She was persistent. "Pacey… sweetheart… wake up."
He finally opened one eye and smiled deeply at Joey. "Merry Christmas, baby," he mumbled, still groggy with sleep.
She hovered over him, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Merry Christmas! Are you ready to open your gifts?"
Pacey gave a long groaning stretch, pulled her down toward him, and then began to undo her buttons. Slowly opening her plaid pajama top, he kissed the soft skin between her breasts. "Wow, Joey, thank you. Two priceless presents wrapped in one precious package. This is the best Christmas morning ever."
She gazed at him adoringly and then gave him a slow, sweet kiss. She snuggled against him as they lay quietly savoring their time together. Finally, she pulled away from his kisses and spoke. "I did get you something else, you know."
He feigned astonishment. "You mean there's more? Oh, baby… I don't know if my heart can take it!"
Joey laughingly slapped his arm. "C'mon, Pacey. I'm serious. Let's open our presents now. I can't wait anymore."
After a brief stop in the kitchen to set a kettle of water to boil on the stove, they made their way to the decorated tree in the living room, its lights still twinkling. They sat cross-legged on the floor beneath it, next to the pile of gifts. Pacey grabbed a medium-sized box with the silver wrapping and purple bow and ribbon, and handed it over to Joey. "You go first."
"I'm very impressed with the wrapping job, Pace. Did Gretchen help you?"
"Yes, she did," he chuckled.
She pulled away the wrapping paper and then opened the gift box. Inside was something rectangular and flat, covered in purple tissue paper. Next to it was a smaller box covered in the same silver wrapping paper. After unfolding the tissue paper, she smiled as she lifted out a one-year monthly planner and personal organizer along with a matching journal, both bound in leather dyed a very pretty rose gold color, and an 18-pack of colored pens.
"It's for when you go off to college," he said quietly. "Sensible and practical, like you said."
"It's very thoughtful of you, Pacey. Thank you."
The cardboard casing around the planner stated, "Achieve Your Goals, Achieve Productivity, Create Happiness in Your Life." Joey flipped open the planner, where she found pages dedicated to writing down your dreams and life goals, one-year and three-month goals. She flipped open the planner to find three colorful bookmarks and three sheets of stickers. The last sheet contained stickers with motivational messages like, "Don't Wish For It, Work For It" and "Big Dreamers Achieve Big Goals." She glanced at the sticker in the bottom right corner of the sheet. There was a cartoon knight atop a horse, and underneath it the words, "Be A Warrior Not A Worrier."
She smiled. "This is perfect." She leaned forward and kissed him. Then she saw him tilt his head and eye the other wrapped gift inside the larger box. Heart fluttering, she set the planner down and reached inside, pulling the other present out and onto her lap. She removed the silver wrapping paper, revealing what appeared to be a jewelry box.
She gave him an arched look. She didn't need any more jewelry, and he'd already spent more of his money on her than she thought necessary. "What did I say about grand romantic gestures and spending your hard-earned money that you should be saving for college?"
"I didn't spend that much money, Jo. I promise. And besides, it's not new. It's old." He nodded at the gift in her hand.
Brows knitting with curiosity, she opened the box. She gaped at what was inside it and then at Pacey. Attached to a long silver chain was her mother's locket, the one she'd broken on Christmas Eve five years ago, just two weeks after her mom had died. She slowly took it out and laid it in her palm. Her eyes became wet with tears. Emotion tightened her throat. Joey couldn't speak.
"I took the locket to a jeweler in town and had it fixed." His voice was hoarse, raw with what he felt for her. His pulse raced as he watched her open it and lay a finger on the pictures inside. She still hadn't said anything. "And it didn't cost much, I swear."
"Oh, Pacey," she finally choked out. Joey looked over at her boyfriend and the tears she was trying to contain brimmed over and fell down her face. She reached for him, wrapping her arms around him, her hand clasped around the fixed locket. That he had given this back to her—restored a broken treasure—it was as if one of the broken pieces inside her had also healed. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"Merry Christmas, Jo." He kissed her shoulder, hugging her tight. "So, I did good?"
"You did very good," she said, letting out a tiny laugh. Just then the kettle started whistling and she pulled out of his embrace, wiping her tears away. "I say we pour ourselves some hot chocolate and then it's your turn."
He laughed while she got up off the floor and watched her place the locket around her neck, her fingers caressing the engraved design on the front of it. It wasn't long before they returned to the living room, steaming mugs of hot chocolate in hand. Pacey eyed the two, gold foil-wrapped gifts, tied together with the royal blue ribbon. "Which one should I open first?" he asked, sipping from his mug and then setting it down on the floor beside him.
"The top one," she replied with a smile.
Untying the ribbon, he pulled the flat, rectangular present onto his lap. He opened it and gasped. A rustic, driftwood frame encased a painting, one of hers he'd never seen before. The painting was of a very familiar sailboat, out on the open water, wind filling its sails, with dolphins rising to the surface next to it. "The True Love," he breathed. His heart swelled with appreciation and affection for her. "Joey, this is so beautiful. I don't know what to say… 'thank you' seems too trite."
"I wanted to give you back something you'd lost, something priceless, and I only wish it could've been the real thing," she told him. "But I guess we'll just have to make do with replicas." She sipped her hot chocolate and then nodded at the other gift. "There's one more, Pace."
He was staring at the painting, letting memories of their summer together wash over him. "Thank you. I'll take this with me wherever I go." Then he set the painting down and reached for the larger gift.
"Be careful with it," Joey suddenly cautioned. Her stomach was full of nerves, imagining the look on his face. The anticipation was killing her.
Feeling a bit mischievous, he took the box, held it to his ear, and waited a moment. "Hmm… I don't hear any ticking. Are you sure it's for me?"
Joey was beside herself. "Pacey!" she exclaimed in playful exasperation. "Just open the gift please."
He chuckled, pulling away the gold wrapping paper, and lifted the lid off the box. Once he saw what was inside, he stopped and stared incredulously. "Oh, my God," he whispered. "Joey… how did you…?"
She beamed with pride. "Oh, I have my ways…"
Carefully, he lifted the corked bottle out of the box. It was thirteen inches long and five inches high. It could've held thirty-two ounces of wine, or rum. Its cork was tight. A sailboat was cunningly fashioned inside it, and not just any boat: his sailboat. The maker had brilliantly miniaturized her blue hull along with the deck, rigging, and each canvas sail. Her masts were the size of matchsticks. Even the weave of her billowing sails was in scale, and the grain of wood on the deck was in scale, as if lumbered from bonsai trees. On the transom, an elongated oval boat sign with green letters spelled TRUE LOVE. The perfect sailboat floated, as it were, on plaster painted blue.
His mouth went dry and he swallowed. Pacey tore his gaze away from the bottle and looked into her brown eyes, full of affection and anticipation. Such a personal gift, and her thoughtfulness behind it, touched him deeply. His eyes became wet with unexpected tears. There were no words. Joey was his world, his heart and soul.
"It's like you gave her back to me," he said quietly, still feeling the shock of the gift.
"That was the idea. I did good?"
He gazed at her with heartfelt appreciation. Setting the bottle back down inside the box, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, murmuring words of love.
After throwing some cinnamon rolls into the oven to bake, Pacey dressed and met Joey by the door, where they trudged out through the snow to her truck. He got behind the wheel and started the engine while she held onto the covered glass pan in her lap, the gifts piled up at her feet. This really had been the perfect Christmas, and Joey now knew exactly why her mom had always said it was the most romantic time of the year. She gazed at him with eyes full of tenderness and silently mouthed the words, "I love you."
Pacey reached over and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, feeling the bond between them that he believed nothing could break, feeling hope that a future together was truly possible. Not even a morning spent at his parents' house could ruin his mood today.