January 8. On Monday morning, Joey got ready for school earlier than usual and then drove over to the beach house. Upon knocking on the front door, no one answered. Maybe she was a little too early, she thought. She pulled her keys from her pocket and flipped through them to Pacey's house key. Inserting it into the lock, she quickly opened the door and stepped inside. All was quiet. Her backpack was deposited on the wood countertop of the kitchen island, from which she pulled out the box of Hostess CupCakes and a pack of birthday candles.
Joey paused, standing in the kitchen and listening for any movement upstairs. Nothing. She decided she'd head up there and wake Pacey up, but as she moved out of the kitchen, she noticed he was asleep on the couch. He must not have bothered to climb the stairs to bed the night before. Returning to the island, she removed a cupcake from the plastic packaging, set it on a plate, and stuck a candle in the middle of it. Next, she went through the drawers looking for matches.
Then she carried the lit cupcake into the living room, where she woke her boyfriend up singing the "Happy Birthday" song. He wasn't amused, and groaned, trying to pull the blanket over his head. She kept on singing.
"No. Go away, Jo."
She frowned at his cold dismissal. "You better make a wish before I set this couch on fire."
He turned back to look at her. "My wish would be for no further acknowledgement of today's hollow, symbolic meaning as a milestone in the life of Pacey Witter."
She blew out the candle herself and set the plate down on the coffee table. "Okay, but now that you've told me your wish, it can't come true."
Sighing, Pacey got up off the couch, taking the blanket with him and wrapping it around his shoulders. "Look, I understand your naïve enthusiasm, okay? I mean, what's the harm in celebrating a birthday? Everybody else does it. What you don't know is that every birthday I've had since I was ten years old has been a complete disaster. I'm talking gut-wrenching, soul-searching, question-the-universe agony."
"Well, as least you're not being dramatic about it," she quipped.
Pacey's eyes narrowed at her, and then while making a pot of coffee he began to recount examples of the terrible birthdays he'd been cursed with over the years, some of the worst days of his existence all falling on this particular day. "So, if you don't mind, this year I think I'll just skip it," he concluded.
"Hmm… no," Joey said, turning him to face her. "Remember last year? Your seventeenth birthday? Nothing awful happened, Pacey. We had a nice dinner at a nice restaurant, and there was no disaster."
"Well, then I think that's the key," he replied, moving closer and wrapping her in a hug. "There might be a way we could avert another birthday disaster—if you and I were to spend a quiet evening alone, here."
"Okay, Pace. Just you and me." She frowned over his shoulder, her stomach twisting with guilt. "Um, you haven't heard from Will Krudski at all lately, have you?"
Pacey pulled out of the hug and gave her a confused look. "Not since before Christmas. Why?"
She tried to shrug casually. "Oh, I was just wondering if maybe he'd given you a call to wish you a happy birthday." Joey had called Will and invited him to the birthday party, which he readily agreed to attend, and told him it was a surprise and to not say anything to Pacey, but the thought of Will accidentally spilling the beans made her inexplicably nervous.
He only shook his head. "Nope. Not yet, anyway. The day is still young."
"Yeah. The day is still young…" Joey watched him turn to pour himself a cup of coffee, her brow creased with worry.
Later at school, she and Pacey were once again joined at lunch by Dawson, Jen, and Jack, and as agreed upon last week, had brought any and all rejection or acceptance letters. Joey watched as Dawson and Jack pulled letters from their backpacks and set them on the table, and then pulled out a letter of her own.
Jen frowned. "It's not fair that you guys hear back so early, and us schmucks don't."
"It's your own damn fault for not applying until mid-December," Jack scolded her playfully.
"Technically, I didn't apply. I procrastinated until the final deadline, and then you and Grams applied for me."
"Exactly. So, stop complaining."
The friends all passed around their acceptance and rejection letters. Dawson and Jack had been accepted to Boston University, and the two boys also had rejection letters from Emerson College and Suffolk University respectively. They turned to Pacey.
"When did you send in your applications, Pace?" Dawson asked.
"Well, I filled them out on November tenth," he answered. "It was a Friday, and Ms. Watson said she would mail them right away. But maybe they didn't actually get sent out until the Monday."
"It's still possible they made the deadlines," Jack encouraged.
"BU probably sent out the admission letters before the rejection letters," Dawson remarked.
Bristling at that comment, Pacey fixed a stare in his former best friend's direction.
"Which schools have early action that you applied to?" Jack then asked him.
He shrugged. "Uh… well, Boston University, clearly," he said, nodding at the letters on the table. "But let's face it, there's no way I'm getting in there. Other than that, I don't know. I don't think Ms. Watson ever said anything about early action to me."
Reaching under the table, Joey rubbed his knee reassuringly. "You know Worthington is the school I'm holding out for, and I won't hear from them for at least another two months."
Then she watched her boyfriend get up from the table to dump his lunch tray, and quickly turned to her friends. "Pacey's mom invited you all to his birthday party tonight, right?" They all stared at her like she had grown two more heads out of her neck. The knots in her stomach tightened as realization washed over her. What else had Mrs. Witter forgotten? What would Pacey be walking into? This didn't bode well. "You guys don't know anything about the party, do you?"
Dawson exchanged looks with the others. "Uh, no. I know nothing about it. You guys?" Jen and Jack shook their heads.
"Well, you don't have plans tonight, do you? It's a surprise party and I can't have it be just me and Will Krudski and Pacey's crazy family. I need as many friendly faces as I can get there."
"I'm doing more community service this afternoon after school," Jen said. "But I can come to the party later. What time?"
"Great. Mrs. Witter wants me to have Pacey there at six, but I imagine we'll probably be there until about nine or so. I hope not any longer than that."
"I'm free," Jack said. "I'll be there."
Joey flashed him look of appreciation, and then turned to her right. "Dawson?"
He beamed a smile at her. "The restaurant is closed today, so I'm off, but of course, I wouldn't miss Pacey's birthday. I already got him a gift, and the party will be the perfect place to give it to him. Better than the school parking lot. I'll be there. You can count on me."
"Thanks, Dawson," she breathed in relief. "Oh, can you or Jack pick up Will at the train station at four-thirty and then bring him with you to the Witter's house?"
He and Jack exchanged looks and nodded. "Sure," Dawson said. "No problem."
Pacey made his way back to the table, passing by Drue Valentine and exchanging dirty looks, before sitting back down next to Joey.
"What was that about?" Jen asked him, arching her brows in surprise.
"What?"
"You and Drue. I almost thought there was gonna be a rumble in the middle of the cafeteria."
Jack swiveled in his chair to briefly glance at Drue before turning back to Pacey. "Are you the one who gave him that black eye? It's been the talk of the senior class pretty much all day, and he's not saying anything."
He pursed his lips and stared at Joey. She heaved a sigh. "I punched Drue," she admitted.
"Oh, my God," Jen laughed. "Why? What happened? And don't leave out any details."
"Drue and I got locked in the basement storage room at work," Joey began. "I was climbing to reach the top shelf to see if there was anything edible up there, but I fell down, Drue caught me, and tried to kiss me. Then I slugged him."
Jack's eyes went wide. "Geez. How long were you locked in the storage room?"
She grimaced. "Longer than anyone should have to endure Drue Valentine's presence. I called home but no luck—no one answered and I couldn't leave a message. Then I called Pacey. He wasn't home yet, but thankfully I left a message. He came to my rescue, but by the time he got there I'd been stuck down there for hours."
Dawson gave her an incredulous look. "Joey, why didn't you call me? I was home. I could've come right away and gotten you out of there. You wouldn't have had to wait for hours for Pacey to finally show up."
Those words triggered a fault line that rumbled right down into Pacey's core. He glared for a second before his eyes flickered to Jen's. She met and held his gaze, a knowing look passing silently between them.
"Yeah, I…" Joey shrugged, at a loss. She supposed Dawson was right. "I guess I could've done that, but… I honestly didn't think of you, Dawson. It didn't even cross my mind. I'm sorry."
Pacey inwardly gloated and tried to fight a smug expression from forming on his face.
"Joey, I know we had a rough few months there for a while, but I'm still your best friend," Dawson continued. "Okay? You can always call on me whenever you need me, and I'll be there for you. Day or night."
A coldness starting working its way down Pacey's chest.
For a moment Joey didn't know how to respond, and something in the back of her mind told her that was kind of a strange thing for him to say in front of everyone at the table, but then she pushed the thought away and smiled. "Thanks, Dawson. I appreciate that."
"So, what did you do to Drue?" Jack asked Pacey. "You know, when you found out he kissed Joey?"
"I didn't do anything."
"And you just let him get away with it?" Dawson said with surprise. "Not to bring up an unpleasant memory, but I think we all know what happened when I found out about Jack kissing Joey."
"I wouldn't say it's an unpleasant memory," Jack said wistfully. "That's the night me and Jen became friends."
Jen laughed. "Best friends forever. Thanks to Dawson's right hook."
The coldness in Pacey's chest had formed a ball of ice in the pit of his stomach. "Well, you're lucky Jack didn't retaliate, Dawson, because he would've kicked your ass."
"Is that why you didn't hit Drue?" Dawson countered, an edge to his voice.
"He didn't need to hit Drue," Joey said firmly, sick of this conversation. "I wounded his face enough. He got the message. I don't need guys to throw punches for me, Dawson. So, please drop the aggressive masculine bullshit."
Pacey scoffed, but before he could say anything, the bell rang, signaling the end of their lunch period. After walking hand in hand out of the cafeteria, he kissed Joey goodbye and told her he'd see her after school. Then locking eyes with Jen, they proceeded to walk together in the opposite direction. "You saw what was happening at that table, right?" he asked her.
"Maybe he was just being nice and… chivalrous," she suggested, yet her tone didn't sound confident.
"Dawson Leery? Chivalrous out of the kindness of his heart with no ulterior motive behind it? That's a new one."
Jen frowned as she walked beside him.
"And what's with the comparisons? He would've punched Drue's lights out. He would've rescued her sooner. Not like that perpetual fuck-up, Pacey Witter."
"You know, I am kind of surprised you didn't punch Drue," Jen said.
"Joey had already done the punching when I got there. Besides, I was only angry that he'd tried to force himself on her. I'm not threatened by Drue Valentine."
"Yeah, but still… I figure you must've done something to him. I saw the look Drue gave you in the cafeteria. That wasn't nothing."
He sighed. "Well, I might have… maybe… threatened to break his neck if he touched Joey again."
"Ah, there's the Pacey I know and love," she quipped.
They soon reached his locker, where he grabbed his chemistry textbook and a notebook. What he'd just witnessed at lunch, and what happened on Saturday morning while fishing with his friend, went around and around his head. "I think Dawson wants to steal my girlfriend, Jen."
"Well… I don't know if I'd go that far, Pacey."
"No? Then what was the point of all that? I mean, the actual motive underneath it all."
Jen didn't reply, keeping silent, her brows knitting as an anxious look etched across her face.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. And if I say something—if I warn him and tell him to stop or even if I say anything to Joey that accuses him—then I'll look like the dick. I'm the asshole who's casting aspersions on the golden boy's character. So, I can't do anything except keep my mouth shut and hope he doesn't get what he wants."
"Pacey, I know this may bruise your male ego, but boys don't steal girls away from other guys. You're forgetting the biggest factor here: Joey herself. It's her choice who she's with. Dawson can't steal her if she doesn't want to be stolen."
He closed his locker. "Maybe not right now, but… later… when you all end up in college in Boston and I'm just… this loser who never gets—"
The two-minute warning bell rang out, interrupting him.
"Pacey, what are you saying? I thought you said you were gonna be in Boston, too."
"I gotta get to chemistry class," he muttered. "Don't wanna be late and embarrass myself in front of a room filled with juniors. I'll see you later, Jen."
That afternoon, he rode with Joey back to the beach house. When they arrived, Pacey put on another pot of coffee and they sat together at the small circular dining table. He pulled out two of his textbooks and his assignments.
"Pace, you don't have to do homework on your birthday."
"Well, Jo, since I'm treating today like it was any other day, and nothing special in the slightest, then why not do my homework?"
Before she could reply, the phone rang. Pacey started to rise, but she quickly yelped, "I'll get it!" and rushed to the phone in the kitchen. His mother wouldn't call here, would she?
"Hello," she spoke tentatively into the receiver.
"Hi, Jo."
"Oh. Hey, Bessie."
"I don't want to interrupt Pacey's birthday and all, but your report card came in the mail today."
A fresh set of nerves fluttered in her stomach. "Did you open it?"
"Not yet. Do you want me to, or do you want to open it yourself later?"
She couldn't wait. "Open it and read it to me."
While Pacey was bent over his textbook, he wondered if she had gotten another college letter. Joey heard the rustling of paper and then Bessie spoke.
"You got all A's, Jo. Congratulations."
Relief flooded her. "Were any of those A's an A minus, by any chance?"
"AP English was an A minus. I'm kind of surprised at that, Jo."
"I bombed the midterm. Pacey got Mr. Kasdan to let me retake it, but it still cost me a whole letter grade."
At the sound of that Pacey looked up from his trig homework. Joey caught his eye, silently mouthed report card, and he nodded in understanding.
"Oh, yep. It's right here: B plus on the midterm exam," her sister told her.
"Okay, well, thanks, Bess."
After saying goodbye, Joey hung up the phone and returned to the table as Gretchen came in the house. The youngest Witter sister greeted them as she walked into the kitchen, setting her purse and keys down on the island countertop, before dropping the pile of mail on the table where Pacey sat. Then she turned back into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee and asked Joey about her day.
"Oh, Pace, Shaun and Angela send their regards and birthday wishes," Gretchen told him.
He frowned. "You told the neighbors it was my birthday today? Are you deliberately trying to jinx me?"
His sister rolled her eyes. "God forbid I mention your big you-know-what-day in casual conversation with a very nice couple who like you and wish you well. I can't believe you still think there's some kind of a birthday curse on you."
"I know. Pretty ridiculous, right?" Joey replied. "But what're you gonna do, though?" She rubbed his leg affectionately. If her boyfriend knew any better, he'd accuse her of buttering him up in advance of some really bad news, and he'd be right.
Pacey was no longer paying attention to them. He immediately forgot his homework and started going through the mail. He froze when his fingertips found two letters addressed to him: one from Boston University and the other from Bunker Hill Community College in Boston. His heart started pounding. It felt like his stomach was going to fall out of his ass. He quickly shoved the letters inside his notebook.
"What is it?" Joey asked, noticing his furrowed brows as he stared down at the table.
"Nothing. It's, uh… my report card isn't here, which can probably only mean one thing." He shook his head and inwardly groaned, trying to will the nerves in his gut away. "No matter how many times I tell the school that I live here now, they still insist on sending official correspondence to Mom and Dad's house."
A light bulb went on in Joey's head. "Well, we can drop by there later and you can get it."
He scoffed. "I'm not goin' over there. I don't know what would be worse: showing up at the house on my birthday to find that nobody remembered because nobody there actually gives a damn about me, or showing up at the house only to be reminded of Mom's tradition of throwing eighteenth birthday parties, which would somehow, someway also turn out to be a reminder that nobody there gives a damn about me. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we? On my fifteenth birthday, our parents got me a blank emancipation form with a red bow on it, to hearty laughs all around."
She frowned with dismay, and then turned to face Gretchen, staring at her with a wide-eyed silent plea. Pacey's sister quickly caught on. "You know, Pace, it wouldn't hurt to just drop by for a few minutes. Your nieces love to see you."
"They're the only ones inside that house who do, Gretch."
"Come on, Pacey," his sister implored. "When was the last time you were over there?"
He pulled a face. "Last Sunday. You know, the big family dinner with Amy and Steve before they had to go back to North Carolina. Do you not remember? You were there. Doug had the gall to mention one of his decoupage projects to Amy and Dad almost choked on his beer because the room became just a little too gay for his liking."
Joey and Gretchen looked at each other and grimaced at the shared memory.
"Doug is never gonna come out while dad is alive, and that is just…" He sighed. "Bleak."
"You don't need to worry about Doug, Pacey," Gretchen said. "I know you thrive on taking care of the people you love, but he's twenty-eight years old. He's a grown man who can handle his own business. Concentrate on taking care of yourself."
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. Pacey then gathered his textbooks and homework, shoving them into his backpack. "I'm just gonna dump this stuff off."
Desperate to be alone, he headed for the stairs and went up to his bedroom. Once the door was shut, he dropped the backpack on his bed and pulled out the notebook containing the two letters. Selecting the one from BU, he tore it open and skimmed down—"We regret to inform you…" For some reason, his heart began sinking at those words. Reminding himself that it was hardly a tragedy to have the obvious confirmed, he pulled free of the regret spiral and crumpled the letter in his hand.
His heart in his throat, Pacey picked up the envelope from Bunker Hill, the only school in Boston he thought he'd even had the slightest chance at being accepted to. He stared down at the envelope in his hands. His mind was becoming frozen and blunt. He had put so much thought into the plan to be in Boston with Joey that any alternative was suddenly far from his reach or imagination. There was nothing he could think of on what he would do if the letter wasn't positive. They'd made no concrete plans for the what-ifs.
Taking a deep breath, Pacey opened the letter. Whoever had written him had started off well, but he quickly realized it was a rejection letter. For a moment he didn't know what was happening or what it meant. Then he started reading it again, and again. The more he read, the less human the letter sounded. He wondered if it was one of those standard templates that get sent out to all unfortunate applicants.
At first glance, it sounded emotional and written with compassion, as if the writer knew the consequences of a rejection letter on someone's life. But then it didn't make any sense. How could they ever know what he was going through? And no matter how compassionate and empathetic they sounded, in the end, it was still a rejection letter. For him, it wasn't just a rejection from getting admitted to that college. It was a rejection of his future with Joey in Boston.
Pacey decided not to tell Joey about it. Why worry her when there were more schools that he was bound to hear from in the next couple months and she hadn't even heard from Worthington yet. There was still a chance, no matter how slim, that she wouldn't get in and would decide to attend a college that wasn't in Boston.
Regret and fear began to overwhelm him.
Down in the kitchen, Joey and Gretchen were deep in conversation about the upcoming party. Pacey's sister had serious reservations. "This whole thing is a really bad idea, Jo. My parents are insane, and Pacey will kill you."
"I know, and I don't like it any more than you do, but it was your mom's bad idea. She called me, and she was so excited and so sweet. What was I supposed to say?"
"You could've said no."
"Yeah, but I said yes. Pacey's gonna kill me, isn't he?"
"Oh yeah, you're dead."
Joey shrugged helplessly. "If I'd said no, your mom would've been mad and…" She sighed. "Look, Gretchen, I can't have them thinking of me as Pacey's bitch girlfriend. I'm determined to make your parents like me."
"My dad likes you just fine, Jo."
She pulled a sarcastic face. "Don't think I didn't notice you left your mom out of that statement."
"Joey, why do you need them to like you? You're not going to get anywhere. I mean, Pacey's been trying for years and look at how they treat him."
"Well, maybe it would be nice if he was on good terms with them because they're the only parents he's got and once they're gone, it'll be too late to try to see eye-to-eye and he might… regret that. Once your parents are gone, they're gone, and there's no getting them back."
The sound of the upstairs shower coming on made them glance at the ceiling for a moment, before turning their attention back to the conversation. Gretchen hesitated a moment, sucking on her bottom lip as if deliberating what to say. "Joey, I need you to understand something. Our parents are not your parents. You had good parents. Your mom was a great mom. You guys did everything together. Your dad loved you and your sister. It was obvious, seeing you all together around town. Your dad would hold your hand in the grocery store. Bessie, too, even when she was a teenager. And it was obvious that it wasn't the kind of thing where he was doing it because he had to restrain a wild child in a public place. It was a little girl wanting her daddy to hold her hand, and her daddy wanting to hold it. I remember being so jealous whenever I'd see you guys because there was just… so much love there. You have no idea what it was like to grow up in my house. You have no idea what it's like to grow up without hugs or kisses or I love yous."
"Pacey got it the worst, by far, so you trying to push him to be on good terms or to spend more time with them…" Gretchen sighed, shaking her head. "I don't think you know how hard it is for him to walk inside that house. That is not a safe, comfortable place for him."
Joey didn't know what to say. She collapsed in the chair, defeated. Raw emotion rose up inside her and tightened her throat. Tears pricked her eyes. "This wasn't my idea. Your mom wants to throw Pacey a party. Maybe that counts for something. Maybe she's trying. What do I do? Do we just… not show up? Dawson and Jen and Jack are gonna be there. Will Krudski is on a train from New Raleigh as we speak."
"Well, if you don't show up, my mom will really hate you," Gretchen said with a frown. "Expect to be called Joanna until you give her some grandchildren, and even then, there are no guarantees."
"Why exactly doesn't she like me, anyway? I've been nothing but nice and polite to her."
Gretchen joined her at the table. "My parents enjoy… a certain status in the community. They're not rich, by any means, especially in comparison to a lot of the other people in Capeside, but they hold a lot of influence in this county. Every six years, my dad runs for sheriff, and every six years, he wins. By a landslide. In the past two elections, no one even bothered to run against him. Before my dad, my grandfather was the sheriff for over thirty years. So, a lot of their ridiculous issues with Pacey are that they think he will somehow devalue their status. That he will make the people of this town—registered voters—look down on them. That his supposed failures will make them look bad. He brings home a D on a report card, my dad is ready to punch a hole in the wall. He strikes out at Little League—my dad practically has an aneurysm right there on the field. He takes Pacey hunting and my brother refuses to even touch the shotgun—my dad tries to beat that weak softness out of him. But instead of fostering his individual talents and interests—and encouraging him like normal, loving, supportive parents—they instead gripe about everything they think he can't or won't do."
"Where do I fit into all this?"
"Well, Pacey's choice of girlfriend…"
Joey frowned, realization dawning. "Is the Potter girl whose impoverished family was basically the town scandal for several years."
"If you'd been a girl who lived over there on Windsor Drive, then my parents would be able to proudly parade you and Pacey around on the campaign trail this summer."
She shook her head, feeling disgusted. "Did your parents treat the rest of you like this?"
Gretchen thought for a moment. "As long as we did things our parents couldn't find too much fault with, then… it was mostly bearable. Doug did everything right. Did everything my parents wanted. Got perfect grades. Never got in any trouble. Went to the police academy after community college. Other than the snide remarks and veiled threats stemming from my dad's unspoken suspicion over Doug's sexuality, he was probably treated the best. I'd say Doug was the one my mother doted on the most, got the preferential treatment, got all the love and hugs. I learned from that, and did everything in my power to be the popular cheerleader who had the right kind of friends and always made Honor Roll and stayed out of trouble. Sometimes those things still weren't good enough. Carrie and Amy, being the two eldest, had a rougher time, but they got married young and left home as soon as possible. Since they were girls, marriage to men in the armed forces was the best thing they could possibly aspire to in my parents' eyes."
Joey sat quietly, lost in thought. As she heard the showerhead in the upstairs bathroom turn off, tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away.
"By the time Pacey was born, my parents were over being parents," Gretchen continued. "They were tired and essentially ignored him unless he did something that pissed them off, and then the attention he'd finally receive was nothing positive. Even when he tried his best, his best was never good enough. They resent him, my dad especially. I mean, it's no secret Pacey was born after my mom had her tubes tied. But I think they also resent his emotional maturity. Despite his ill treatment, Pacey has the most generous, most kind, most empathetic spirit. He has inherent goodness, and I don't know where he got it from. Definitely not from my parents."
As she listened to the bathroom door open and heard Pacey's footfall on the hallway upstairs, she wondered at just how much of his youth was spent hanging out either at the Ice House or at the Leery's, and how much of an impact that would have had on him to combat his awful home life. She vaguely remembered her mother commenting one time on Pacey and how his avoidance at going home was a sign that he wasn't a happy kid.
Gretchen frowned. "My dad treats Pacey's kindness and goodness like it's a weakness. He acts like Pacey isn't a real man because he won't fire a gun or join a varsity sports team, but I'm pretty sure my dad knows Pacey is the better man—the better human. Pacey is also naturally good looking and funny and charming and intelligent in a way my dad could never be. And that makes my dad behave even worse—his own inferiority."
"And your mom?"
"My mom is just a passive-aggressive narcissist. Not to mention, she and my dad both are basically functioning alcoholics."
Joey's heart broke for Pacey. It broke for the boy who'd been born to parents who didn't want him. It broke for the boy with the big heart full of love who'd been trapped in a loveless family. It broke for the man who thought so little of himself, who thought nothing he did could make a difference in his own life, who thought he could never have the future he deserved. The tears in her eyes welled up and brimmed over.
"Will it be worse for Pacey if he goes to the party, or if he doesn't go?"
"Jo, my mother would've thrown him a party for his eighteenth birthday whether you were dating him or not. The rest of us all got parties when we turned eighteen. Well, except Amy. She'd already left home. I think that's probably why my mom insists on doing it—because she threw Carrie a party and loved it and a year later was planning a big party for Amy, but Amy ran off a week before her eighteenth birthday and got married. To this day she says it wasn't intentional, but I'm pretty sure did it on purpose just to spite Mom, and I'm pretty sure Mom believes that, too."
Joey hesitated. "So… you're saying…?"
Gretchen heaved a sigh and stood up from the table. "I'm saying that if Pacey doesn't show up to this shindig my mom is planning, he'll hear about it for the rest of his life. Just ask Amy. Her eighteenth was twelve years ago and my mom still calls her on the phone every year on her birthday and guilt trips her. Will that be worse for Pacey than whatever may or may not happen at the party?" She shrugged. "Hard to say. You never know with my parents."
Her brows knitted with indecision.
"Do you want me to tell my mom you're not coming? I'm heading over there in a minute."
"No. I… If I decide not to come, I'll call your mom myself and come up with an excuse."
Joey watched Pacey's sister walk out of the kitchen, unsure what she should do. If she didn't bring him over there, who would his parents blame—her or him? Would it matter? Even if they blamed her, she was sure they'd berate him for it and tell him it was all his fault for dating that awful Potter girl.
Still undecided, she slipped on her coat and waited for Pacey by the front door, holding a black scarf in her hands. Once Gretchen had left, he came down the stairs, and when he caught sight of her, he stared. "You going somewhere, Jo?"
"Yes. We both are."
"I… all right," he said, stunned. "But where are we going? I thought we were going to stay here tonight."
"It's a surprise," she answered. "Your birthday present isn't here. We have to go out so I can give it to you."
Pacey looked at her while he put on his shoes and saw the worried lines on her face. "Is this a gift I'm not gonna like?"
His voice pulled her from her reverie. "I certainly hope you like it, Pacey. I worked on it hard enough."
"Okay. I'll just grab the car keys."
"Nope. I'm driving."
"Uh… okay." He glanced around the kitchen and living room. "Where's Gretchen?"
She hesitated. "She said she was going to your parents' house."
Suspicion rose up sharply from the pit of his stomach. "Is your present also at the house?"
Joey smiled and shook her head. "No. It's not."
"Okay, well, are you sure you wanna drive?" he asked. "I don't mind."
"It's somewhat imperative that I do the driving," she said, holding up the black scarf. "You won't be able to see the road with a blindfold on."
Intrigued, Pacey shrugged on his brown coat and grinned. "I didn't know you were into the kinky stuff, Potter."
She blushed and fought a smile. "Let's go."
Once they were inside her truck, Pacey tied the scarf around his eyes while she started the engine and turned the heat on, air blasting out of the vents and onto the floorboards. "Okay, I can't see anything," he said.
"Hmm." Joey waved her hand in front of his face and got no response. Then she stuck up her middle finger. Still no reaction. Satisfied he truly couldn't see through the blindfold, she threw the truck into reverse and backed out the driveway.
They were soon parked in front of her wall downtown. Leaving the engine running, Joey instructed Pacey again to not remove his blindfold. Then she slid out of the driver's seat and walked around the truck to open the passenger door. She held onto his arms while he got out. Together, they walked across the patch of hardened earth toward her wall.
"Where are you taking me?" Pacey asked, his arms outstretched while his girlfriend guided him forward.
"And why would you be blindfolded if I was just going to tell you?"
"I thought we agreed not to celebrate."
"I know, but don't you want your birthday gift?"
"Sure, but it would be nice to know where I am. Do I at least get to guess?"
"You can have one guess," Joey relented.
He grinned. "Perhaps a remote dock. You brought some candles and champagne, and birthday cake that you are going to feed to me by hand while serenading me—offkey, of course—dressed only in Victoria's Secret lingerie, after which, you will lay me down under the stars and ravish me."
She laughed nervously. The butterflies in her stomach were trying to get out. "Close, Pace. Very close."
When they stopped in front of the wall, she slowly removed the blindfold. He blinked, his eyes adjusting while he got his bearings. Pacey stared up at the canvas-covered wall. He turned to her and smiled. "You finished it?"
"Yes. Finally."
Her heart pounding in her chest, Joey stepped forward and pulled down the drop cloth. When it fell away, Pacey gasped at the sight in front of him. Stunned speechless, his eyes roamed over the mural.
The plea he'd desperately painted last spring as his last-ditch effort to win Joey's heart remained smack dab in the center in large red letters—ASK ME TO STAY. Yet it was no longer surrounded by a plain, faded brick wall. A colorful island seascape emblazoned the wall all around his message.
On the left side was a landscape of Key West's Old Town, its colorful and familiar buildings tucked along small lanes and avenues. Pacey moved closer to study it. The marina and Danny's Hideaway were there, and that charming, romantic inn where they'd spent their one-month anniversary—the night their relationship changed dramatically. In the right-side foreground, the mural showed a tropical beach and palm trees on either side. The white sandy beach quickly gave way to the blues of the ocean. Dolphins frolicked in the water and the True Love sailed across the horizon as the blazing sun set in the sky above. Joey's signature adorned the bottom corner of the mural in black paint.
Somehow, Joey had managed to capture their history as well as the tranquility and intimacy of the magical summer they had spent together. Pacey was overcome with emotion. He finally turned back to his girlfriend and she smiled at him with a love that brought tears to his eyes. His feelings for Joey were far deeper, far more profound than anything he'd experienced before. He locked his love for her inside his heart forever and once more silently vowed to never give her up, not for anyone, not for anything.
Joey gazed at him, the look on his face one that she knew she'd always remember as long as she lived. "Happy birthday, Pacey," she whispered.
The emotion that tightened his throat still rendered him unable to speak. Pacey wrapped his arms around her, hugged her, and pulled Joey close to him. She kissed his neck, then rested her face against his shoulder, breathing in his scent. "Now the whole town will know that Joey Potter loves Pacey Witter, and they better not forget it."
He chuckled and pulled out of the embrace. "It's beautiful. Thank you doesn't begin to cover it. I'm deeply touched, but I'm also just amazed at your talent. Are you sure you don't wanna go to art school?"
Joey scoffed. "I don't see a future in art school."
The word future made his guts twist, made him remember the rejection letters, and he frantically pushed those thoughts away. Pacey bent his head and kissed her softly. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she deepened the kiss. Then thoughts of Mrs. Witter and the party came unbidden to her mind, filling her with a sick dread. She still didn't know what to do.
Pacey broke the kiss, pulled back, and smiled. He again noticed her brows drawn together with worry, the look of anxiety shadowing her face, and wondered what the cause was. They walked back to the truck, getting back inside the warm cab.
"So, uh, where to now?" he asked while buckling his seatbelt. "Back to the beach house?"
"Um…" She swallowed, hesitating. Her fingers drummed the steering wheel. Out of habit she looked at the broken clock on the dashboard, and naturally it didn't tell her what she needed to know. "What time is it?"
He glanced at the watch Bodie had gotten for him two Christmases ago. "It's quarter to six."
She chewed on her lip, deliberating. "Well, yeah, I guess we could, you know, just…" She refused to meet his gaze. "I mean, we could… yeah, go back to the beach house, or maybe…"
Suspicion rose up and realization began to dawn. "Uh, Jo… my mother planned a birthday party for me, didn't she?"
"Yes," she whined sweetly.
The guilty look of sorrowful regret on her face almost made him smile. She really had no idea how damn cute she was, he thought. "And you agreed to go along with her plan." It wasn't a question.
"Yes," she said, pouting. Still, relief flooded her insides at not having the secret locked up inside her anymore. She didn't like keeping secrets from Pacey, at least unpleasant ones, and vowed to never do so again.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Eyes wide, he shook his head in disbelief.
"She made it almost impossible to say no, and then the more I thought about it, I thought it was a good sign, you know, that your family wanted to do something special for you. But…" Her thoughts turned to her earlier conversation with Gretchen, and she frowned.
"My family could give a crap about me or my birthday," he told her. "A party is just an excuse for my dad to get a little bit drunker than usual, eat some birthday cake, tell me I'm a disappointment, and then pass out in his chair while watching When Animals Attack."
She nodded in understanding, feelings of pity tugging at her heart. Her hand went to the gearshift. "Then let's just go back to the beach house. We won't go to the party. It'll be a quiet evening alone, just the two of us, like I promised."
He shook his head and threw up his hands in defeat. "No, let's go. And I promise I'll act surprised so my mom doesn't give you shit for spoiling the party."
She stared. "Wait, really?"
"If I don't show up after my mom went to all the trouble, it'll just hurt her feelings." Pacey heaved a sigh. "And I don't really wanna do that, if I'm honest with myself."
Joey gazed at him with increasing respect and admiration. The fact he'd care about being kind to his mother's feelings, when his family thoughtlessly hurt his feelings on a regular basis, amazed her. He truly was an incredible man, with a great compassion and ability to love, despite what he'd had to endure over the years.
In that moment, she suddenly thought of her own mother, and knew she'd be proud of the man Pacey was becoming, knew how happy she would be that they loved each other, that she was here to give him the love and support he needed. Joey remembered those days and nights when he would invariably show up at the Ice House and stay for hours. Her mother had been very maternal, was loving and good, full of compassion and kindness, and as a child, Pacey had gravitated to Lillian Potter like a plant to sunlight.
Joey watched Pacey as he stared out the window, and then reached out to grasp his hand. "Look at me," she said, and he turned. "I promise you that we are going to get through this night together, unscathed. And everything's gonna be okay, I swear." She squeezed his hand. "Okay?"
Pacey offered her a weak smile, and she let go of his hand to drive the truck away from the curb and into traffic. He turned back to stare out the window. "Oh, how I wish that were true," he sighed, knowing full well another birthday disaster was now looming in front of him.