PEETA POV
We were happy. Katniss and I were happily married, we were both keeping busy with our work during the day and I was being a doting husband and father-to-be as Katniss's pregnancy progressed. I held her hair back when she threw up from nausea and made sure she was met with a cold glass of water when she was finished and I made sure to bake whatever it was she was craving, whether it was cheese buns or sugar cookies or even an entire cake. Emotionally, I supported her as she got bigger, too, because that definitely took a bit of a toll on her when she could no longer fit in her clothes.
"It's normal, Katniss. You're growing another human in you," I told her as she fussed with the buttons of her midwifery uniform, which would no longer button up over her bump one chilly November morning.
"Can't really hide it anymore, can I?" she asked me.
"Well, no, you're almost five months pregnant, honey," I told her, seated on the bed and watching her as she tried to adjust her dress in the mirror. She was struggling to button it up over her breasts as well, something I certainly didn't fail to notice.
"It's not... going past..." she said as she struggled, and then she gave up, leaving the top two buttons undone with a frustrated sigh. "Fuck it, they're labouring mothers. I don't have anything they don't."
"I'm really liking this change," I said, taking note of how visible her breasts were now. She sent me a glare that she tried to keep angry, but she failed, resulting in a chuckle from us both. We weren't really trying to hide her pregnancy to begin with, but I knew that a small part of my wife still wanted to think that she wasn't going to have a baby. I got up and stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her and resting my hands on her bump, which was now quite obvious. I gently brushed my lips against her neck and she relaxed into me, then suddenly jumped and stared down at her stomach with frightened eyes. "Katniss, what's wrong? What happened?" I asked her, tightening my grip on her. She put her hand on her stomach, then quickly pulled her hand away as if it had been burned. "Katniss, what?"
"It... it's kicking..." she muttered, her eyes now somewhere on the floor. I moved my hand to where her hand had been and waited, and sure enough, I felt a movement under my hand, and I smiled.
"That's our baby... It's real, Katniss... This is incredible!"
"Incredibly selfish," she said, and I stilled.
"Selfish?" I asked her.
"We shouldn't be happy about this... If we bring a child into the world, we'll be sending it straight to the arena," she replied, and I sighed.
"Katniss, we talked about this. We knew what we were signing up for and-"
"I should have lied. I should have told him it was someone else's, had it adopted by some Capitol family."
"How can you say that?" I snapped, and she pulled from my arms to look at me.
"If this child was brought up in a Capitol home, they'd be safe!"
"Katniss, you're not thinking clearly. Our child will be brought up loved and with good morals. Not out there in some rich, garish house wearing stupid clothes and eating food that we could only dream of while the districts starve!"
"Those Capitol people don't know what to think anymore than we do, Peeta! It's how they were brought up!"
"They were brought up to hate us and bet on which of us will survive the longest! Katniss, how could you even think to send our child to live with people who think like that?"
"At least she wouldn't be sent into the Games to either kill or be killed! We're an anomaly, Peeta! What happened to us in our Games doesn't happen to children from Twelve! And the year our child gets reaped, the careers will stop at nothing to kill our child!" She was in tears now, breathing heavily and backing herself up against the mirror in a clear panic attack. I took a deep breath.
"I know... but our child will be raised a good person. She won't view the Games as entertainment, she won't laugh as twenty-three kids get brutally murdered."
"But she'll live in fear knowing that one day, she'll be in that arena fighting for her life!"
"Katniss," I said, pulling her into my arms and holding her against my chest.
"We've been so selfish... I should have lied..."
"Honey, you did the right thing telling me about her. I would have never forgiven you if you'd done what you just said."
"At least I'd be able to live with myself!" She pushed me away from her and stormed out of our bedroom, I following behind her.
"It would have been a decision you'd need me to agree to anyway, Katniss! What would you have done? Tell Snow it was Gale's child? I would have fought that! I would have told the truth!"
"If it would protect her, yes."
"You'd really rather our child brought up like all those people in the Capitol who laugh at us and are blind to all of our suffering that we have to endure? Who are blind to the fact that children here literally die of starvation every damn day?"
"She'd be alive, wouldn't she? And she'd be safe!" I let out a sigh. Katniss wanted more than anything to protect our child - the one we made together - and was willing to go to any length possible, including having me hate her for the rest of our lives and including tearing her heart out by giving our child up. Who am I kidding? I couldn't hate her, not ever. She was a mother and she was afraid, and all she wanted was to protect our baby. I dropped every ounce of my anger and pulled her into my arms again, holding her tightly as she tried to wriggle free until she gave up, her arms falling to her sides.
"No matter what, you are the best mother that Panem has ever seen... What's done is done. It's too late now and soon, our baby is going to be here and she's going to be raised by us and she's going to be loved by us, not anyone else. I know how scared you are... and I can assure you that I'm just as scared for our baby as you are. I can't tell you I would have the same feelings or make the same decisions if I were you, but I do know that you and I will both love our baby more than anything and we will stop at nothing to protect her." I kissed the side of her head. "I love you, Katniss... You're not alone in this. Please remember that it's not just you anymore."
"I'm so sorry, Peeta... I'd never want to give up our baby. Not ever. I just want her to be safe..."
"Shhh, I know..." I held her tightly in my arms as she wrapped hers around me and we held each other in silence.
We resumed our life together as best as we could and we tried not to think about the fact that our child was destined to die in the arena. For a while, even the nightmares stopped plaguing us every night, but every so often, a nightmare involving a blonde-haired, grey-eyed little girl in the arena plagued our dreams. We were almost happy.
But happiness is often short-lived.
KATNISS POV
I was counting the weeks before the victory tour - five. There were five left. Five weeks until the world would know that I was pregnant and carrying the future of their entertainment. I would be six months pregnant by that point, and three months shy of bringing that baby into the horrible world that included the Hunger Games. On a particularly chilly day towards the end of November, I was washing some leftover dishes from breakfast when there was a knock at the door that startled me. Peeta had already gone out for the day and I didn't have any other friends or family that would knock, so it startled me just a little. Turning off the water and drying my hands, I placed my hand protectively over my expanding abdomen and peered through the window - there were two peacekeepers outside. My stomach dropped; Snow found out.
Nervously, I went to answer the door, opening it to find the two peacekeepers without their helmets eyeing me suspiciously. "So the rumours are true," said a middle-aged woman. "You're needed this way."
"Whatever for?" I asked her.
"I'm under orders to escort you to your own home, Miss Everdeen. Come right away," the woman told me firmly.
"Well all right, just... let me slip a pair of shoes on, won't you?" I asked, and the woman nodded as I stepped into a pair of Peeta's shoes. My feet were quite swollen, so slipping my feet into my boots was out of the question. I descended the steps, the other peacekeeper taking my arm as I stepped off the bottom step. "I'm fine, thank you. I'm not an invalid," I told him, and he let me go. I followed the two peacekeepers into my old home, where Agnessa stood in the doorway with a tray of tea and cookies that Peeta had decorated, a nervous expression on my face.
"Hello, Katniss," she said to me. Agnessa and I were back to the way we were before - not close, but speaking to each other, and she'd backed off considerably since Peeta and I were married.
"He's waiting for you," said the female peacekeeper, and I glanced at her suspiciously as she led me to the study. She stepped aside, as if to guard the door, and gestured to me to go inside. I pushed open the door to the study and at the desk, seated and reading a book, was a very familiar snakelike face that made my blood run cold. The smell hit me first - roses mixed with blood, before the sight of President Snow registered on my mind. He held up a finger, as if asking me to hold for a moment, before he closed the book and looked straight at me, an evil smile on his face.
"Have a seat, Miss Everdeen," he said, gesturing for me to sit down in front of him. "Or should I say Mrs. Mellark? Congratulations on your marriage."
"Thank you," I said as politely as I could muster, having a seat in front of him and never breaking eye contact. He had yet to mention the elephant in the room that was my pregnancy.
"How are you and Mr. Mellark been since you returned from your Games? Well, I assume?" he asked me, trying to make small talk.
"Well as we can be," I replied.
"Really? No hard feelings about anything?" I shook my head, and he chuckled menacingly. "Mrs. Mellark, I believe things will go a lot smoother if we agree not to lie to each other."
"I think that would save time," I replied. "Very well. I fear for my future, and for the future of my child, of which I am well aware you know exists."
"Victors are supposed to notify their escorts when they are expecting, Mrs. Mellark."
"I was never given the rule book, I'm afraid." He chuckled again.
"I suppose you weren't expecting to have to when you and Mr. Mellark created this little... accident, yes?" I instinctively raised a hand to my belly. "Children are a blessing, Mrs. Mellark, and you have my sincerest congratulations. But... I am dissatisfied with your behaviour."
"I was warned of that, yes."
"Not in the Games. No, that dissatisfaction I am willing to look past... if you can help me."
"Help you?"
"You see, Mrs. Mellark, the districts didn't see your stunt with the berries as the act of love that it was... they viewed it as an act of rebellion. Defying the Capitol, if you will, and it has created a bit of... unrest. As you can imagine, I am not happy about that. You see, we have a very careful system in place."
"It must be a fragile system if it can be disrupted by a handful of berries." President Snow chuckled again.
"Mrs. Mellark, you are quite amusing company, and quite sharp. It is very refreshing. Most people that I have in my company tend to only nod their heads in agreement when I speak."
"I can't imagine why."
"The Victory Tour is coming up. You and Mr. Mellark have defied the wishes of the people of the Capitol and have had a wedding in private. That will not do. Tonight, a camera crew will film a staged engagement between you and Mr. Mellark, and in the Capitol at the end of the Victory Tour, you will have a grand Capitol wedding."
"What about the baby?"
"Your unfortunate circumstance will tug on the heartstrings of the people of the Capitol." He paused for a moment. "And in addition to that, you will pacify each of the districts as you stop at each on the Victory Tour. We cannot have any unrest. Many of them do not believe your desperation to save Mr. Mellark to be true."
"It's very true."
"Is that so? My dear Mrs. Mellark, I know about the kiss between yourself and your 'cousin'." I had to hide the snort that threatened to escape from my throat.
"Surely? Then you'd know I slapped him when he threw himself on me. I can assure you, President Snow, that the romance between myself and my husband is very real."
"The districts don't believe it to be so. So you will convince them."
"And if we fail?"
"Then I will ensure that every eligible member of your family will be reaped, and accidents will be arranged for the families of yourself and Mr. Mellark. Including your 'cousins'." My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened slightly, but I refused to let this man - this monster - see my fear.
"You may get better results with a bargain," I told him, and he raised his eyebrows, intrigued by my words.
"Mrs. Mellark, I do not bargain, however, I am willing to listen to your proposal." I had to think quickly. What could I say that would get Snow to agree? Oh, how I wish I had Peeta with me.
"Spare my child from the reaping," I spit out firmly. "Ensure that my child never be reaped and I will do everything that I possibly can to pacify the districts."
"Victors' children in the Games often bring in more revenue, Mrs. Mellark."
"President Snow, you know as well as I do that as far as my child is concerned, I'll have nothing to lose. If I fail to pacify the districts, you will ensure my child is reaped and killed in the Games. If I do not agree to pacify the districts, my child will die anyway along with me. Agree to spare my child and I will do anything possible to pacify the districts. You have my word." The menacing smile on his face was enough to make my skin crawl.
"I will agree to this bargain, Mrs. Mellark, and will spare any future children that you and Mr. Mellark have - and there will be more. It is a requirement for Victors who are married to have at minimum, three children." My stomach dropped just a little, but I held firm.
"Very well, all of my children spared from the reaping and I'll do whatever you want me to do to pacify the districts." I paused for a moment. "And my sister, too."
"I will not agree to another bargain. You must choose, Mrs. Mellark. Either your children are spared, your sister, or neither. No exceptions. I can guarantee that the reaping will not be rigged against your sister, so long as I am satisfied with your behaviour, but I will not spare her in addition to your children." I had to think quickly. If Prim were spared, I'd have to someday watch one or more of my children die in the arena, pretty much guaranteed. If my children were spared, there was still a chance that Prim would not be reaped. I had to take that chance, no matter how slim it was, that everyone I loved would be safe from the reaping.
"Then I choose my children," I told him, and he gave me a smirk.
"Excellent decision, Mrs. Mellark."
"So convince the districts that Peeta and I are madly in love and that the berries were not and act of rebellion and you will spare my children from the reaping."
"Convincing the districts won't be enough, Mrs. Mellark. You must convince me. I will see you in the Capitol for your wedding. Give my regards to Mr. Mellark for me." He got up and exchanged one final look with me before he made his way out of my old house, and I remained seated. The districts were unhappy... a rebellion was in the air. But the lives of my child, and the future children that I would inevitably have, were at stake. I couldn't go into the Victory Tour with Peeta having no idea what he was walking into. I rushed to the bakery as quickly as my swollen feet would take me and surprised him when he came out of the kitchen to see me standing there out of breath.
"Katniss!" he exclaimed, rushing out from behind the counter to meet me. "Honey, what are you doing? It's cold outside and you're not wearing a coat! Are those my shoes? What's happening?" he fussed, grabbing his coat from off the hook behind the counter and wrapping it around my shoulders.
"Peeta, we need to talk," I told him, ignoring the coat and grabbing his face in my hands to press a kiss to his lips. After spending time around the nauseating scent of roses, I needed to be closer to him and take in his scent. "It's very important. Please, Peeta."
"Okay, okay, we'll talk. Just give me a second, all right?" he asked me, and I nodded as he gave me a chaste kiss and went back behind the counter. "Mom, Katniss and I need to do something important but she came here without shoes. Can she borrow a pair of yours?"
"Came without shoes?" Mellie exclaimed from the kitchen before she appeared in the doorway wagging a finger at me. "Are you trying to catch your death? Mark my words, girl, if anything happens to that child-"
" Mom . Shoes," Peeta said, and Mellie waved him off and disappeared back into the kitchen, and Peeta took my arm and led me into the kitchen to sit down at the table as Mellie came downstairs holding a pair of shoes. Peeta took his beaten up shoes off of my feet as Mellie came to bend down beside him.
"They're a bit big for you but judging by the state of your feet, that won't be a problem," Mellie said neutrally. "Are you getting any rest? You shouldn't be on your feet so much or they'll swell up to the size of logs!"
"Mom, I'll make sure she rests, okay? This is very important," Peeta said, standing up and helping me to stand. "I'm gonna take her home after, I'll come back tomorrow." He bent down to kiss his mother on the cheek, an action that seemed to surprise them both, Mellie more so than Peeta, who pretended nothing happened and led me out of the bakery. He'd wrapped his own coat as tightly around me as he could, which only worked because of my protruding abdomen, and he led me to the meadow.
"Peeta, won't you get cold?" I asked him as we walked across the meadow together to the rock.
"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you," he said as he sat me down on the rock, and he knelt down in front of me. "You came in looking white as a sheet. What happened?"
"Funny you mention white," I choked. "Peeta, he knows. Snow knows, about our marriage and the baby. He came to visit and he was in the study at Agnessa's house and he told me that we have to have a big Capitol wedding at the end of the Tour and tonight, there's going to be camera crews and you have to propose to me."
"Katniss, honey, slow down, shh, shh..." He took my hands and gave them a tight squeeze. "Snow knows. We have to get married in the Capitol, despite already being married. I have to propose to you. That doesn't seem impossible, Katniss. We can do all of that! What are you really worried about?"
"Well... It's a lot more complicated than that..." I let out a sigh, finally calming down as I held Peeta's hands in mine, which were quite cold, and I told him the rest. As I told him about the districts' reaction to the berries and what would happen if we failed to pacify them, his face paled, and then I told him about my bargain with Snow.
"You asked him to spare our child?"
"Children," I corrected him. "He says... he says we have to have more... But he wouldn't spare Prim. Peeta, what if I didn't save her? What if she gets reaped?"
"She won't. According to Effie, the Capitol is in love with her, they won't do anything to hurt her."
"They love her because I volunteered to protect her, because she's innocent and childlike. Peeta, when our baby is born, the Capitol is going to look to that child as my egg to protect."
"Our child is your egg to protect, Katniss. You're her mother. You're not Prim's mother. You know as well as I do how furious with you Prim would be if you'd chosen to have her spared from the reaping over your children. She'd never forgive you."
"I know... Peeta, I feel so, so horrible." I felt tears stinging my frozen face and Peeta's warm thumb wiping them away.
"It'll be okay... Honey, our children are safe! There's nothing to fear. Prim won't get reaped and she's going to grow up and start a family of her own and our children will never, ever have to see the inside of an arena."
"So long as we prevent an uprising."
"And we will. We'll do whatever it takes to prevent an uprising because it means our children will be safe." He then stood and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest and resting his chin on my shoulder. "...even if there should be an uprising," he whispered into my ear.
"Peeta, no! Don't say that!" I hissed, pulling away from him. "After all I've done, don't you dare put my bargain with Snow on the line! I never want to hear you say that again!"
"I'm sorry..." He let out a sigh, then pulled me into his arms again to hold me. "If we do this, our children will be safe... so let's do it."
"We've got to be getting back soon," I told him. "The prep teams will be here soon... and you've got a proposal to plan."
"Shall I buy you flowers and chocolates? Throw flower petals all over the ground?" He gasped. "I don't have a ring! I didn't think you'd want anything that the Capitol would expect for an engagement ring!"
"Here, just take my wedding band," I told him, pulling back from the embrace and removing the silver band from my finger, placing it in his hand.
"What? No! You're not supposed to take that off!"
"You're putting it back on anyway, my love. I never wanted an engagement ring anyway. I don't need a ring to remind me how much you love me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Let's get back, before you freeze to death, you poor thing."
PEETA POV
I'd already proposed once so I thought this planned proposal was stupid. Everything about it would look staged - but I had to make it look real, for her. For my little girl. Katniss found a way for our daughter - yes, we'd taken to calling her our daughter, even though we didn't know the gender - to stay out of the arena, but it would require a lot of convincing. I had to make this proposal look real, or else our attempts to convince the districts that we weren't trying to start a rebellion wouldn't work.
We really weren't trying to start a rebellion. I didn't know Katniss's thoughts, but my thoughts were that I was going to die either way. She could have waited for me to eat the berries, or she could have killed me, but she didn't. She'd wanted to die with me and she refused to leave that arena without me. How could it not have been an act of love? If I could convince myself, convincing the entire nation shouldn't be too difficult. Even if it was, it didn't matter, because I was going to do it for the future of my daughter.
I decided to forgo any flowers or chocolates. I'd simply meet her at the fountain, start babbling on about how she turns me into a lovesick fool, and then get down on one knee and pop the question. I did it before, so I could make this look real easily. And I did. Katniss's shocked expression for the cameras was so good, even I forgot for a moment that we were already married. Caesar Flickerman was practically pissing himself with excitement once he saw that Katniss was pregnant and that we were engaged. Now, all we had to do was face the rest of Panem and put on the same act.
A/N: Will Snow keep up his end of the bargain? Will Katniss and Peeta manage to pacify the districts?
Please review!