February 16. Hands shaking, Joey looked up from the paper and stared at Jen. Tears filled her eyes and her mouth trembled uncontrollably. Her mind was frozen in shock. What…? How…? Why…? Tears of embarrassment and anger brimmed over and scalded her cheeks. She knew Pacey had kept the quiz, but she knew in the depths of her soul that he would never have shown it to anyone. It had to have been stolen somehow.
She now wondered if this was the whole point of Drue joining Yearbook, when he clearly could've handed out copies of her answers at any point. He could've done it the first day back to school. He had clearly used the highly anticipated Yearbook polls as a ruse to create a public spectacle that would garner the most attention. Her parents had taught her not to believe in hatred because the world had witnessed enough of it, and most of it, if not all, was so unnecessary, but if there was one person to hate, it would be Drue Valentine. Tears of humiliation and rage burned her eyes as she looked over at him, his back to her, standing next to the table filled with his small band of yes-men.
Suddenly, an ominous silence began to fall over her classmates with deafening quickness. Joey turned to see Pacey storming into the cafeteria. His face was red. His eyes were crazy. She stood up from her chair. "No," she breathed.
Jen turned to see him, too. "Oh, God."
The whole dining hall seemed to be in a state of limbo, each student trying to anticipate what was going to happen. More and more of them were standing, in hopes to get a good view of whatever was about to go down. Drue's back was still turned, and he hadn't seemed to notice the change in the atmosphere over the sound of his own voice and his friends' laughter. Pacey was closing the distance, fast.
Fear rose up inside to choke her. He couldn't risk another suspension, not over her again. "Pacey! PACEY, NO!" she shouted, but her desperate plea fell on ears deaf with rage.
At the sound of her scream, Drue turned just in time for Pacey's fist to connect hard with his jaw. Drue stumbled backwards, dazed, and fell onto a table, where students and their lunch trays scattered. The punch had left him bent at the waist and spitting blood. What was more surprising to everyone in the cafeteria, Pacey included, was that Drue did not go down. Sure, he was bent over and had to use one hand to steady himself, but that son of a bitch was still on his feet.
Drue quickly shook the cobwebs from his head, straightened up, and faced Pacey. "Why are you so angry, Witter?" he smirked, wiping the blood from his lip. "If I were you, I'd want the world to know just how many orgasms I had given Joey."
"That's what this is about, isn't it? The fact that it's me, and not you. Because you know it'll never be you, and so you have to punish her for it." Infuriated, he threw another vicious punch, but this time Drue was prepared for the speed, got out of the way, and crashed his own fist into Pacey's ribs.
Buoyed by his own rage and righteous indignation, Pacey didn't even blink.
Drue then took a swing at his face, but he caught his fist, picked him up, and slammed him hard on the floor like a child discarding a broken toy.
To Joey's horror, a bunch of idiots in the cafeteria started chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
As Drue lay on the floor, Pacey got on top of him and began wailing on his face. She searched the cafeteria frantically, looking for anyone who could help. A teacher, a janitor—an adult, any adult. Her eyes then locked with Dawson's. He stood staring at her in the entrance to the cafeteria. Her stomach bottomed out, again. She couldn't read his blank expression. There wasn't anger, shock, pain, or disappointment in his gaze—she could see nothing, no emotion. He just kept standing there, immobile, merely staring. She turned at the distracting sound of Pacey and Drue continuing to fight, and the crowd of kids starting to surround them, and when her eyes went back to Dawson, he was gone.
Moments later, Mr. Leery and Principal Peskin and several other male teachers were running into the cafeteria to stop the commotion. They pushed through the group of students surrounding the fight. Mitch grabbed Pacey up, yelling, "Stop this crap right now!"
With Mr. Leery holding him, he looked down to see Drue Valentine on the floor with a bloody nose, a busted lip, and a serious shiner starting to make an appearance on his jaw. Peskin helped him off the floor, and sent him to see the nurse with Mitch as an escort. The Principal then rounded on him with a steely gaze. A moment later, he softened somewhat and his voice was calm. "My office, Mr. Witter. Right now."
The Principal grasped him by the arm and gently pushed him into motion. As they made their way through the crowd of students, Pacey scanned their faces, seeking out Joey's, but he couldn't see her, and soon he was out of the cafeteria and marching through the hall toward the Main Office. When they entered, Peskin told him to sit down on the wooden bench outside his office door, before disappearing behind it.
A few minutes later, Mr. Leery walked into the office and approached him there on the bench. Taking the seat next to him, he carefully placed a cold pack over Pacey's knuckles, and then tied the ends of a cloth in a knot at his palm. "Courtesy of the school nurse."
He inhaled sharply at the biting cold. "Thanks. Is this typically what's required of the football coach?"
Mitch sighed. "I'm not here as the coach, Pacey. One, I'm here as a witness to the violent episode in the cafeteria, and two, I'm here as your friend."
He knew he should feel stupid for getting into a fight in school, for risking another suspension, but he found he didn't feel sorry at all. Drue deserved what he got. In fact, he deserved far worse. "Look, Mitch, I know you're probably very unhappy with me at the moment, but I had a very good reason and he—"
"I know why the fight happened, Pacey."
"You do?" His brows furrowed.
"The entire faculty knows by now, I imagine."
"Well, that's just great," he muttered. "Why don't you mail it out to all the parents, too?"
Mitch placed a hand on his back. "Please don't think that myself or any of the other staff don't have any empathy for what you're feeling right now. Believe me when I say we're all thoroughly disgusted."
"So, how badly is Drue hurt?"
"Minor, considering."
"That's too bad. I guess I didn't hit him hard enough. Where is he? I thought he'd be here by now. Unless I'm the only one getting in trouble, and that wouldn't surprise me a bit, knowing my luck."
"Drue is still in the nurse's office, where he'll remain under Mrs. Scoville's supervision until the Principal calls for him. We're taking it very seriously, what he did. I'm positive that Mr. Peskin will do whatever it takes to confiscate every copy of that vulgar paper Drue passed out, and destroy them."
"Vulgar?" He didn't like the sound of that, and felt the anger start to bubble again. "I really hope this school isn't going to somehow try to spin this into something where they lay any sort of blame on Joey."
Mitch heaved a sigh. "Of course not, Pacey. Joey is a victim here, as are you… and now Mr. Valentine himself, thanks to your altercation. It's a complicated situation, but I assure it's going to be handled appropriately."
He scoffed. If the Principal was so concerned about Joey, why wasn't he confiscating the copies right now? They were still out there in students' possession. He could only hope that the rest of Yearbook was doing their part to correct Drue's wrongdoing. "By Mr. Peskin? Please. What a joke."
"He's not the only one handling it."
"But he has final say, doesn't he?"
"We'll see."
Then Mitch Leery stood up and walked into the Principal's office, closing the door behind him. Soon Mr. Kapinos appeared, who sighed heavily as he gazed down at him sitting there on the bench. The school counselor's face reflected a mixture of disappointment and sympathy. Pacey lowered his gaze and stared at the floor, and a moment later Mr. Kapinos had joined Mr. Leery and the Principal.
The cafeteria had broken into a multitude of excited conversations as soon as Pacey and Drue and the Principal had exited the dining room. Still dazed and shocked at all that had happened in just the last ten minutes, Joey stared at Jen, not knowing what to do. She wanted to scream and cry. She wanted to run away. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her. She wanted to go home and find her mother there and have her tell her that everything would be all right. She wanted to find Dawson, and dreaded it at the same time. But more than anything, she needed to see Pacey.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" Jen asked, reaching out to hold her arm. "I can't imagine you want to go class after all this. Let's just skip."
She wiped the tears from her face and shook her head. "I'm not leaving without talking to Pacey."
Then she left the cafeteria with Jen and they soon ran into Jack. He could barely look her in the eye. "I'm so sorry, Joey. Drue Valentine is a pathetic excuse for a human."
She didn't think she could bear anymore sad looks and apologies. She just wanted to see Pacey. "It's fine, Jack. I'll talk to you guys later."
Joey hurried away from them and made for the Main Office. When she arrived, the secretary didn't seem at all surprised at her sudden appearance. The chairs across from the front desk were empty. Searching her face, her furrowed brows, Mrs. Carden obviously knew what she was looking for, and nodded to the area around the corner. She averted her gaze and walked around the main desk to the carpeted flooring that made up the small area outside Principal Peskin's office.
Pacey was sitting alone on the wooden bench, his head in his hands.
Fresh tears overwhelmed her and emotion tightened her throat. She walked over to the bench. He looked up as she sat down beside him, and braced himself for her anger, remembering the verbal beating he'd taken after he got into that fight with Matt Caufield last year. He looked at her face, but didn't see anger there. In fact, it was obvious her mind wasn't even on the fight at all.
His arm came around her. Their eyes met and held for a long moment, sadness welling up inside them. Drue Valentine took something special that should've been private, shared only between the two of them, and had cruelly made it public. There were no words for such a violation. Crumpling, Joey buried her face in Pacey's neck and began to cry.
They clung together, her crying and him trying hard not to. After about twenty minutes since he'd first arrived at the office, the bell rang and he listened as the hallway became flooded. He overheard snippets of conversation, a lot of it having to do with the fight in the cafeteria. There was a lot of laughter and excitement coming from everywhere.
All of a sudden, he saw his brother and sister walking towards him, and they did not look happy. Joey lifted her head from Pacey's shoulder to see his siblings approaching. She lowered her gaze to the floor, her face becoming red with humiliation all over again.
"Do you mind telling us why we were called here," Doug said, standing there in his police uniform and nodding at Gretchen. "And not Mom or Dad?"
"After I turned eighteen, I changed all my official paperwork and made you two my emergency contacts."
His older brother heaved a sigh. "What's going on, Pacey?" his sister demanded. "The secretary said something about a fight?" Then she looked at his girlfriend. Her face fell and her voice softened. "Joey, are you okay? What's happened?"
Just then the door to the Principal's office opened. Peskin emerged to shake hands with Doug. "Thank you for coming, Deputy, and you too, Ms. Witter. Please step into my office."
"You're about to find out, Gretch," Pacey answered her. Beside him, Joey buried her face in her hands, and he wrapped his arm around her, holding her tight against him.
Less than ten minutes later, the door opened again and this time Mitch Leery appeared. "We're ready for you, Pacey."
He stood up, still holding tight to Joey's hand, and then looked down at her. While part of him wanted her to go in there with him, a larger part knew she'd been embarrassed enough to last a lifetime. "You don't have to stick around, Jo. I'll see you later."
"When?"
He shrugged. "I have no idea how long this is going to take. I think you should just go home and I'll see you after school." Suddenly, the wheels started turning and he wondered why her sister hadn't shown up, or Bodie. Had the school even called them? Knowing Bessie, she would've come storming in here by now.
"Pacey."
"I'm coming." He gave her a hand a gentle squeeze and then walked away from the bench.
Not wanting to leave school before she learned Pacey's fate, Joey went and hid herself away in the library. Once there, she quickly realized she'd left her bag in the cafeteria, but had no desire to walk back down there to look for it. She tried in vain to get that quiz and her answers out of her head, not to mention the obsessive thoughts of just how many of her classmates had seen it with their own eyes. The humiliation was overwhelming. She wanted to disappear.
Shame and hurt filled her, and not just for herself, for Pacey, too. She thought of their first night in the cabin, the intensity of the feelings between them, his tenderness, gentleness, his care for her—the most amazing experience of her life—and Drue had to drag it through the mud in the cruelest way he could think of. The beautiful memory of the physical culmination of their love would now be marred by Drue and his twisted games.
And how could she possibly even begin to tell Bessie what had happened today? Wallowing in pity, she ignored the bell signaling the end of seventh period. While she briefly considered attending her last class, AP Studio Art, she quickly decided against it. She couldn't possibly show her face right now.
Then a voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hi?"
She looked up to see a skinny kid with glasses wearing a Boston Celtics T-shirt. He didn't look much older than fourteen. She thought he had to be a freshman. "Hi."
"Are you Joey Potter?"
"Depends who's asking."
"Okay, well, Dawson wanted me to give this to Joey Potter and tell her to come see him in Computer Lab B." The kid then handed over her bag that had been abandoned earlier in the cafeteria.
She blinked at him as she reached for it. "You know Dawson Leery?"
His head shook. "Not really. He saw me in the hallway and paid me five bucks to come to the library and tell you to meet him."
"How did he know I'd be in the library?"
The boy shrugged.
"Um… okay, thanks."
Joey stared after the freshman as he walked away. Did she really want to see Dawson right now? Not really, but might as well get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-aid. She was soon climbing the west stairwell to the second floor. Worrying that she was about to face those soap operatic repercussions, feelings of embarrassment and fear intensified with each step. When she walked through the open door to the Lab, she found the room empty except for Dawson, where he was sitting in front of a computer screen. Her stomach twisted as he turned in the swivel chair. The embarrassment she felt was so oppressive she could hardly look at him.
His mouth curved into a smile. "Hey. Glad the kid found you, and that my five bucks wasn't wasted."
She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. His posture was relaxed, friendly. The knots in her stomach began to loosen a bit. "Um, yeah. In the library, right where you knew I'd be. How did you know, by the way?" she asked as she stepped into the room.
"I didn't. I first went to your AP Bio classroom and peered in the window in the door. You weren't there, of course. Then I thought you might've left, but I checked the student lot and your truck was still there. So… call it a lucky third guess. I figured you'd try to find the safest place to hide, and there's nothing safer than books, right?"
Joey closed the distance and sat down on a table near the desk where he was working. "So, what are you doing in here instead of being in class?"
He entwined his fingers over his lap. "Well, I'm prepping for the emergency meeting of the Yearbook Committee, to be attended by Mr. O'Leary and Principal Peskin at three o'clock." He nodded at the computer. "I'm just making sure that the work Drue did was correct and that the winners were the actual winners and the right people get placed with the right superlatives. Making sure that he hadn't undermined anything else. I'm basically crossing T's and dotting I's before the meeting."
"Dawson, we both know that Yearbook is a shameful, squalid waste of time." She took a deep breath and the aroma in the air finally registered. "Did someone make coffee?"
"Mr. O'Leary keeps a fresh pot in here throughout the day. Why? You want some?"
She hadn't eaten or drank much of anything at lunch and suddenly coffee sounded good. "Yeah."
He got up and poured her a cup. "How much cream and sugar?"
"Just black."
Pausing, he stared at her. "You drink black coffee? Since when?"
She shrugged. "A while. I know I drank cups and cups of it while we were fixing up the house into a B&B."
He sighed and walked back with a steaming cup. "I guess I'm finding out that there's a lot I didn't know about you," he said as he handed over the coffee. "That's not how it used to be. We used to be able to tell each other everything."
She lowered her gaze from his and took a sip. Her cheeks burned but it wasn't from the hot coffee. "Yeah… I'm not so sure that was such a good thing, Dawson. We had a bad habit of being brutally honest, which only served to prove very quickly just how wrong we were for each other. A little mystery, and we might've lasted a little longer."
"Joey, what Drue did to you was despicable. I'm sorry. I can't imagine how mortified you must feel."
Her throat tightened with a lump of emotion, and she drank more coffee to swallow against it. She was honestly surprised he was being so nice about it. It was the reaction she would've hoped for, but not the one she'd expected. "You're being very… gracious about it. I thought you might be upset or angry with me… or with Pacey."
He smiled. "Why? Joey, that night at the Crown & Anchor when I said you were my best friend and that you'd always be, no matter what, I meant it."
"I know you did, I just… well, that night I kind of got the impression that… well, that you wouldn't like it if you knew that things had changed…"
"Which brings me to something else I want to say to you. Um, I want to apologize for that question I asked you, that very personal question. I never should have asked you that. I had no right to. I… I don't even know why I did. Probably some masochistic side of me that I haven't explored yet. Probably the same side to me that's sabotaging any chance I have at being more than friends with Gretchen."
Relief spread through her and she smiled. "You think you're sabotaging your chances?"
He shrugged his arms with a smirk. "Well, mentioning you every thirty seconds doesn't help. I'm so worried that I'm going to make the same mistakes that I made in the past, that every minute I'm around her turns into this pitched battle inside my head. Are we better off just being friends? Do I attempt to act cool and make a move? Be the hero in the movie who gets the girl in the end? Should I even risk this great friendship we have by making a fool out of myself and pushing for more?"
"Well, you won't know unless you give it a shot, right?"
"Yeah, you're right."
She smiled, much of the embarrassment and fear she'd felt all but melting away. "Dawson, you have no idea how happy I am that you're not taking this… development with me and Pacey badly. I mean, I honestly thought it was possible that you would—"
"Behave like I did last spring?"
She frowned and averted her gaze from his.
"Joey, I'm not that guy anymore. I've grown, I've changed. I'm not that guy who gave you a selfish ultimatum. That guy who entered a boat race and nearly killed two people. That guy who stood on that dock and said those horrible things to you before you left. Because that guy lost you. I learned my lesson, and I'm never gonna be that guy again. I've come to the realization that I'm just not the guy you wanted. I'm not the guy who impulsively buys you walls and takes you sailing to the Florida Keys and beats up bullies to defend your honor. Maybe I'm not the hero I thought I was. Maybe I'm just the hero's geeky sidekick. I'm not the guy who gets the girl."
"But maybe you are the guy who gets the girl," she said with a grin.
He gazed at her seriously for a brief moment. "I didn't get you."
"I'm just one girl, Dawson. There are billions out there. I think you could be really happy if you'd just put a little faith in yourself and take a chance on someone instead of worrying about past mistakes. I mean, I did… and I've never been happier."
"Yeah, maybe you're right," he smiled.
Joey smiled back at him, feeling better than she had all day since her first inklings that something was horribly wrong back in fifth period Spanish, and drank from her coffee cup.
Pacey stepped into the Principal's office and was directed to take one of the two empty wooden chairs in front of the large mahogany desk. Doug and Gretchen were sitting on the couch that sat flush against the wall to his right, while Mr. Leery and Mr. Kapinos stood in the back of the room near the door. His stomach fluttered nervously, but he was able to keep his nerves in check with his steely conviction that he'd doled out what Drue Valentine rightfully had coming to him. As he looked around the room, it again felt odd that Bessie hadn't been summoned to the school to discuss what had happened to Joey.
"Well, Mr. Witter," Principal Peskin began. "This is the second time you've physically assaulted a fellow student on school property. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"They both got what they deserved."
In his peripheral, he noticed Gretchen close her eyes and shake her head while Doug frowned.
"Is that really all you have to say for yourself?" the Principal asked.
"I can elaborate, if you wish. I'm not going to stand by while someone I love is harassed and abused. And since this school allowed the blatant sexual harassment of a female student to persist for hours without doing anything to stop it, well… I did something about it. Is that what girls at Capeside High can come to expect from the administration at this school? That their safety and well-being doesn't matter to those in charge?"
Dave Peskin turned red in the face. "This school allowed…? We did no such thing! We allowed nothing. As soon as this office was informed, we took action."
His face contorted into a sarcastic expression. "And what action was that, exactly? As we speak, those copies of Joey's very personal information are still all through the school." He looked over at his siblings, who looked back at him, stunned, and then turned angry scowls in the direction of the Principal.
"Well… well… well…" the man flustered. "It will be taken care of before the day is over, I assure you."
Pacey could hear Doug and Gretchen whispering together, but he had no idea what they were saying, and wondered if they'd take his side in all this. He felt positive his sister would, but he wasn't so sure about Doug.
"Before the day is over? Sir, the eighth period bell is about to ring. The day practically is over, and you're going to allow those copies containing private, sexual information about a teenage girl to leave school property and then spread to God knows where. All over town, probably."
The Principal blustered. "It will be handled! We're here to talk about your actions, Mr. Witter."
Eyes narrowing, his suspicions came to the fore. "Where is Joey's sister? Have you even called her to inform her of the harassment, or are you trying to keep her in the dark for as long as possible? You might want to involve her right away because based on what I'm hearing, I suppose this school would really be in for it if, say, Bessie Potter and Bodie Wells were to get a lawyer involved. I'd really hate to see that happen.
"And now that I think of it, sexual harassment is against the law in the state of Massachusetts. I'm sure you're well aware of just how easy it would be for me to get the Barnstable County Sheriff's Office to look into the matter and decide just how much culpability Capeside High would be responsible for, seeing as how this very school's Yearbook Club was directly involved in the perpetuating of said sexual harassment. I'm sure the Superintendent and the School Board would be interested in that information as well.
"So, are we here to discuss the bloody nose and black eye that I gave to an abusive creep? Or are we here to discuss just what this school is going to do to give Joey the justice and protection she deserves?"
Stunned into silence, the color drained from Dave Peskin's gaping face. Then the intercom buzzed. "What?!" he barked after pressing the button.
"Mrs. Valentine has arrived," the secretary informed the room as the bell began to ring through the school, signaling the end of seventh period. "Do you want me to let Cindy Scoville know that she can bring Drue up to the office now?"
"Yes, thank you, Kathy."
Pacey arched an eyebrow. "Bessie Potter hasn't arrived yet?" he asked innocently.
The Principal clenched his jaw, and then pressed the buzzer again. "Kathy?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Get Joey Potter's sister on the phone and ask her to come in as soon as possible, please." Then the Principal turned a hardened stare in Pacey's direction. "Three days in-school suspension for fighting, to begin the Monday following winter break. I also think it's a good idea for you to start weekly meetings with the school psychologist from now until the end of the semester. I know you come from a long line of men in law enforcement, but violence is never the answer, Mr. Witter."
His mouth fell open. Weekly sessions with Mr. Kapinos? He glanced behind him, and the man gave him a nod while Mitch Leery offered a small, encouraging smile. Pacey wondered if they had pleaded in his behalf and this whole counseling arrangement had been a done deal before he'd even walked into the room.
"And what are you going to do about Drue, Mr. Peskin?"
"That is between me and him and his mother. As far as I'm concerned, that boy was already on thin ice after that stunt he pulled back in the fall with my sailboat. The situation will be handled, Mr. Witter. Now get out of my office, and I don't want to see you back in here for fighting ever again."
Once he was back out in the Main Office, Pacey removed the cold pack from his hand and left it on the bench. He and his older siblings walked right by Mrs. Valentine without saying a word, and were then standing in the hallway just outside. It wasn't long before Drue came walking towards them, escorted by the school nurse, looking a little worse for wear. He had nasty bruises on his right jaw and eye, a split lip, and cotton up his nose. As he walked past, he refused to meet Pacey's gaze, and soon he was in the office and out of sight.
"I'm very sorry for what that young man did to you and Joey," Doug said. "It was vile. But you need to understand something, little brother. Someday soon you're gonna have to grow up and put this bad boy crap behind you. And if you won't do it for your sake, then do it for Joey's. Hopefully these counseling sessions help you work out some of your issues."
"You talking about me having issues and needing counseling is a little rich comin' from you, I have to say."
"Whatever, Pacey. I'm saying this for your own benefit. Instead of being so reckless, maybe you should try thinking before acting for once in your life. It'll at least save you some trips to the Principal's office."
Gretchen frowned in sympathy. "How's Joey? She did not look good when we first got here."
Emotion tightened his throat as remembered her crying on his shoulder earlier. "Not great. There… there aren't words." He watched as his siblings exchanged pointed looks, a silent conversation ensuing between them, before Doug sighed and shrugged his shoulders in defeat.
"So, just to let you know, I'm going to be staying with Doug during your winter break," his sister said.
He stared at her. "You mean… not just tonight? All week?" A surge of excitement began to rush through him.
"Yes," Gretchen replied. "All week. I thought that if anyone could use a week-long private sabbatical right now, it was you two, and Doug here agreed with me."
Pacey pulled his sister into a hug. "Thank you," he murmured over her shoulder while looking at his brother. Doug gave him a nod and a slight smile.
After his siblings left, he decided he would stick around to see if Bessie would actually show up, and then to his surprise, he saw Joey coming towards him in the hallway. Even more to his surprise, she was smiling. She hurried towards him and pulled him into a tight hug, sighing deeply as she held him. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close as he leaned back against the wall. They quietly held each other for some minutes.
"So, how much trouble are you in?" she asked, pulling away slightly to look him in the face.
"Peskin gave me ISS for three days and I have to see Mr. Kapinos every week." He shook his head. "Well, I called it."
"What?"
"On the first day of school, when I received the summons to go the guidance office? I said that at some point this year I'd probably end up back in Mr. Kapinos' office."
She tried to give him a look of encouragement. "Well, that's better than a week-long real suspension that will go on your permanent record."
He scoffed. "Permanent record. I'm pretty sure whatever dumb things that happen to you in high school don't actually follow you into the real world for the rest of your life. That's just what teachers want you to believe so you'll behave."
Laughing, she wrapped her arms around him again and breathed another sigh of relief. "You're probably right."
"Are you feeling better about this whole thing?" he asked, his lips brushing against her ear. She didn't seem nearly as upset as when he last saw her.
"Dawson isn't mad," she explained with a smile as she pulled out of the hug. "We were wrong about those soap operatic repercussions. I was so worried that we'd all go back to being angry with each other if he reacted badly, and that there'd be no chance we could be friends if he knew about us, but I was wrong. He's not angry, he's not even upset."
He stared at her, not knowing what to say to this. What she was telling him just didn't seem possible. "Um, well, that's great, if it's true, Jo." He had his doubts…
1994
September 24. Saturday night at the Capeside Rollerdrome was packed, and skaters filled the rink. It was usually busy on Saturdays, but tonight Joey Potter's twelfth birthday party had brought a lot of the kids from their sixth grade class, along with some of their parents.
Although he hated roller skating, he wasn't about to pass up a party with pizza and arcade games. But he also admitted to himself that he wouldn't have missed Joey's party, no matter where it was. The party really wasn't half bad. The pizza was hot, the soda was cold, and the arcade had a decent selection. Music blasted from the speakers in the ceiling. It wasn't music to his taste, but it was all the popular songs on the radio and the skaters seemed to like it. He wondered what would happen if he walked across the rink to the DJ booth and asked them to play some Aerosmith.
While he tried his luck at the Ms. Pac-Man game, an Ace of Base song filling his ears, he looked over at the rink, where he saw Dawson and Joey skating together, laughing and having fun. He smiled and went back to the game. The song soon ended and then, once again, the DJ announced, "Couples Skate only! Couples Skate only!"
Then All-4-One's "I Swear" began sounding from the speakers and skaters began to pair off. He glanced over at the rink to see Dawson, once again, skating away from Joey and making a beeline for Meghan Arliss. This was now the third time he'd ditched their friend to skate with another girl instead. Pacey rolled his eyes. Dawson could be such an idiot sometimes.
The evening continued much the same way, with breaks here and there to eat a slice of pizza or to grab another soda. Dawson and Joey kept skating, even during the crappy songs, which he didn't get, but hey, it was her party. The DJ started playing Coolio, and suddenly the rink was packed again. Time went on, and whenever the "Couples Skate only" announcement rang overhead, Joey would inevitably end up sitting on a bench, frowning. The more it happened, the more he kept looking over at her, and the more his stomach started feeling sick with pity. She should be having fun at her own birthday party. She obviously wanted to skate to the slow songs, too, and Dawson was being a jerk.
Inwardly groaning, he walked away from Space Invaders over to the skate rental counter and asked for a pair of skates in his size. Once they were in his possession, he returned to the arcade room and told himself that if there was another Couples Only Skate, then he would go and ask Joey to skate with him. He also hoped he wouldn't have to. Fingers crossed.
But then the DJ announced the final skate, and the dreaded "Couples Only" boomed from the speakers. Skaters began pairing off, and Joey went and sat down on the bench. With a sigh, Pacey abandoned Donkey Kong and put on his skates. Feeling like an idiot, he skated over to where she was sitting and then held out his hand.
"Wanna skate the final skate with me, Joey?"
She looked at him like he had three heads, a look he was very familiar with. "No, that's okay, Pacey."
"Come on. It's the last skate of the night. You can't just sit there. It's your party. You should be out there with everyone else." He listened for a moment to the song that had been chosen—"Everything I Do."
"They're playing Bryan Adams. I know you love Bryan Adams, and I know you love this song. You played his cassette tape so much that you ruined it, remember?"
She sighed and crossed her arms. "Pacey, you're the last person I would ever want to skate with."
"Well, I'm the only one who's asking, Potter. Take it or leave it, but I really wish you'd take it. If you don't, you'll kick yourself later, so might as well just skate with me." He smiled and flexed his hand at her. "Come on, Jo. Time's running out…"
She huffed and stood up. "Fine."
A wide smile spread across his face when she placed her hand in his. The thrill that radiated through him was electric. He held her hand tight and led her onto the rink. "See? It's not so bad," he told her.
Joey smiled. "I suppose not." Then she frowned and glanced over at him. "Why do you think none of the other boys asked me to skate?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. They're dumb?"
"I wish I never had that growth spurt last spring," she complained. "I'm the tallest girl in our grade, taller than most of the boys, too. They look at me like I'm a freak."
"You're not taller than me," he smiled. "We're the same height, which is perfect."
She threw him a look, her brows furrowing together. "Perfect for what?"
He blushed and shook his head. His stomach flipped. "I don't know."
They were silent for a while before she broke the quiet between them. "Dawson didn't ask me to skate either. Why does everyone give the blond girls all the attention? I don't get it."
"I don't get it either. You're the prettiest girl in our class." He immediately regretted opening his mouth. His face flushed hot. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Joey stared at him, her lips parting. His stomach flipped again when he watched her brown eyes soften. "You… you really think I'm pretty?" Then she scowled. "Or are you making fun of me?"
"Geez, Potter. Can't you take a compliment?"
Suddenly the song ended, and the DJ began making his closing announcements. They hadn't even skated a full lap. Pacey found he was sorry it was over so soon, and when she pulled her soft hand from his, he frowned.
"Well, thanks for asking me to skate, Pacey. I wish it could've last longer."
A hopeful feeling rose up and filled his chest. "Me too, Jo."
They smiled awkwardly and then skated off the rink. While Joey joined some of the other kids in their class, he made straight for the rental counter to get rid of these blasted skates. As he was setting them up onto the countertop, he heard his name.
"Pacey."
He turned to see Joey's mom standing there, smiling at him. He blushed and his stomach flipped again. Gosh, she was so pretty. He bet Joey would look just like her when she grew up. "Hi, Mrs. Potter."
"That was a very kind thing you just did."
His face contorted with confusion. "What did I do?"
She laughed. "Asking Joey to skate with you?"
"Oh." His face felt even hotter. "Well…" He shrugged. "It was nothing."
Mrs. Potter shook her head, and she gazed down at him. Her eyes sparkled. "No, it wasn't. You're a very good friend to Joey, and I just wanted to thank you for being there for her."
He lowered his eyes and glanced at the floor. "Oh, well, you know…" He had no idea what to say.
"You know that I'm sick, right, Pacey? And that it's quite serious."
"You don't look sick."
Her smile faltered. "Not yet, but…" Then she shook it off and smiled brightly again. "Well, being sick can be a scary thing, right?"
He nodded. "Right."
"And well, it helps me feel better to know Joey will have a friend like you in her life as she grows up. She'll need a friend like you, Pacey."
He had no idea what to say to that either. "Okay."
Mrs. Potter sighed. "Okay. Well, I hope you enjoyed the party."
"I did. Thanks for inviting me."
"A party's not a party without Pacey Witter, I always say."
He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."
Then her hand was in his hair, patting him affectionately, like a mother, and not for the first time he wished that Mrs. Potter had been his mom instead. What he wouldn't give to pack up his stuff and go live with the Potters. He'd never have to see his drunk parents again. Immediately his stomach twisted with guilt. He loved his mom and dad, but sometimes they made things so hard and he didn't know why.
"You'll come by the Ice House soon, won't you? Mike will whip up your favorite grilled cheese sandwich."
"I will."
A little while later, he was standing out in the parking lot waiting for someone to pick him up. His mom told him she'd be there, but more than likely, it'd be Doug or maybe Gretchen, who didn't even have her driver's license yet. The sound of the doors opening behind him made him turn, and he saw Dawson walking towards him. He didn't look happy, which was surprising since he'd had Meghan's attention all night.
"What's the matter, Dawson? Did a wheel fall off your skates again?"
"I saw you skating with Joey."
"Yeah, so? You weren't skating with her, and I didn't think she should have to sit out at her own party. Why didn't you ask her to skate?"
"I skated with Joey a bunch, Pacey."
"Yeah, but not the couples only songs."
Dawson laughed. "Why would we skate to love songs? Besides, if I'd asked her to skate then Meghan would've been mad. Joey doesn't care about skating to cheesy slow songs, anyway."
"That's just what she wants everyone to think. She's more sensitive than a toothache. Why does it even matter if I skated with her? It wasn't even for a whole song."
"I saw you holding her hand!" Dawson shouted accusingly.
Pacey's face hardened at his best friend. Why was he yelling at him? "Everyone holds hands during the couples' skate, Dawson. You're supposed to!"
"Yeah, well, I don't want you getting any funny ideas."
"Like what?"
"I've noticed the way you've been looking at her."
"How do I look at her?"
He flustered. "Well… I don't know. All I know is I don't like it. You were staring at her legs all summer!"
Pacey blushed and averted his eyes for a moment. They'd spent a lot of time swimming in the creek over the summer, and suddenly Joey was starting to look a lot different in a bathing suit. It did funny things to his insides. "Dawson, it's not my fault she grew like a weed. It was weird."
"Joey is my best friend, okay, Pacey? Not yours. Mine. So, don't start thinking that just because you held her hand for one couples' skate that it's going to change anything. She doesn't even like you."
"Then what are you so worried about?"
Before Dawson could think of a reply to this, Mr. Leery pulled up in front of them. Without another word, his best friend walked away from him and got into the front seat next to his dad, slamming the door shut. Pacey stood there, watching them drive away just as Doug pulled up in their mom's new Jeep Wagoneer.
2001
Pacey stared at his girlfriend, not quite believing it. "Um, well, that's great, if it's true, Jo."
Joey took hold of both his hands and squeezed them reassuringly. "It is true, Pacey. Dawson was totally understanding about the whole thing, and… he didn't even seem to care that much. So, it's fine. Everything's fine." Then she frowned. "Well, at least as far as Dawson is concerned. I'm trying not to think about just how many copies Drue put out there and just how many people might've read it."
He sighed and pulled her into another embrace, and she wrapped her arms tight around him. "It's not fair, what he did to us," she said, her voice becoming thick with emotion. "Those were our personal memories, and he had no right to invade our privacy and spread them around."
"No, he didn't."
Joey pulled out of the hug. "But why? Why does he even care about what we're doing? Does he really hate us that much that he needs to do everything he can think of to make us miserable?"
He reached up and brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I'm pretty sure the guy hates me. You… I don't think he hates you. He's fixated on you and what you're doing because he's jealous and he knows he has no chance of stealing you away from me."
Her brows knitted as she took in this information. It just didn't seem likely. "You're saying Drue… likes me?"
"Remember when we were kids and I would pull your ponytail or poke you with my pencil in class? How I'd do every annoying thing I could possibly think of just to get you to pay attention to me?"
She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yes."
"This is sort of like that, except Drue is a sociopath."
She placed her hands on his chest and slid them up around his neck. "Well, you are right about one thing," she said, his arms coming around to hold her again. "Drue has no chance at stealing me away from you. Nobody does."
He grinned and bent his head, but just before his lips could claim hers, he caught Dawson out of the corner of his eye moving towards them. He turned his head slightly to see him approach. When their gaze met and held, Pacey saw hatred filling his eyes. Dawson's expression was hard, angry, menacing. Then as Joey turned to face him, and his expression immediately brightened into a friendly smile.
"Hey," Dawson greeted them casually.
"Hello again," she said, taking her boyfriend's hand and entwining their fingers.
Pacey stared at his former best friend, trying to reconcile this comfortable friendliness with the maliciousness he'd seen just moments before.
"I'm really sorry for what Drue did, Pace," he said to him, his expression and tone kind, sympathetic.
He hesitated a moment, not knowing what to make of it. "Uh, yeah, thanks, Dawson."
"We're doing what we can to fix this mess."
"We?"
Dawson's gaze shifted and he nodded his head behind them.
Pacey and Joey turned around to see they were being joined by Erin Myers, the two Ashleys, and a couple other members of Yearbook, all carrying papers in their hands. "I think we got them all, Dawson," Ashley Hares announced when she reached them. "Well, I hope we did."
"Great," he said with relief, walking over to them.
"We went to every seventh period classroom on the senior schedule and took back every copy we could find," Erin told him. "The teachers didn't seem to mind we were interrupting their classes. I think because they know that… well, they know what happened."
"A few jerks gave us a hard time, but they eventually handed them over when forced," Ashley Granger said proudly, turning the papers she had into a roll and smacking her palm.
Filling with relief, Joey turned to Dawson with her mouth falling open. "You… collected them?"
He shrugged. "Well, the girls did…"
"But he told us to," Erin stated. "And now we're going to shred them."
"Thank you, Dawson," Joey said, her eyes filling with tears of joy and gratitude.
"This was a serious problem, and what Drue did… well, he hurt you, and I'm not going to stand by and do nothing. So, something had to be done. Besides, despite Yearbook's ignorance, blame can be shared here."
The girls looked contrite. "I know, I know," Erin muttered. "I should've known better than to let Drue Valentine join, but it was ultimately Mr. O'Leary's decision. Anyway, we're so sorry, Joey… Pacey. I know getting all the copies back doesn't make up for what he did, but I hope it means this whole thing won't get any worse."
Joey turned to Pacey and smiled.
He smiled back at her. "That's great," he told her, but knots had begun to tighten in his gut. Something about Dawson's sudden desire to be chivalrous, in the face of the knowledge that his soulmate's virginity was no longer his to claim as was his right by destiny, rang as insincere. That and the malignant hate he'd seen fill his eyes as he'd watched him with Joey earlier.
Just then the bell rang, announcing the end to classes for the day and the start of winter break. The hallway began to flood with other students. After assuring Joey they'd be destroyed immediately, the girls from Yearbook Club quickly said goodbye and walked away with the copies of her sex quiz answers. She turned to Pacey. "Do you need to get anything from your locker before we leave?"
"Uh, yeah… my coat, and I should get my backpack. Oh, um… Bessie might be on her way to talk to the Principal, so I don't know if you wanna stick around and wait for her? You can just come to my house later."
The thought of having to explain to her sister what happened hadn't exactly been thrilling, but maybe it would be slightly less embarrassing if she didn't have to do the actual explaining herself. "But how are you gonna get home?"
Pacey shrugged. "I can take the bus for once, I guess."
She smirked in disbelief. "The bus? Do you even know which bus goes to Bridge Street?"
"No, but it can't be that hard to find out, Jo. I'll just ask one of the drivers."
"I can give you a ride home, Pace." They turned to see Dawson was still there, smiling, friendliness in his eyes, his hands shoved casually in his pockets. "I've got plenty of time to drop you off and be back here by three for the Yearbook Committee meeting."
Joey turned to her boyfriend and beamed a smile up at him. Everything was perfect, better than she could have ever hoped for. They weren't fighting. Dawson wasn't angry with Pacey, or disappointed in her. They could all still be friends. Her fear that Dawson would've exploded and caused another months-long melodrama over her relationship with Pacey naturally progressing, as anyone in their right mind would have expected it to, now seemed like a silly overreaction. She had worried for nothing. More than ever, she believed she'd never have to lose either of them. Despite the ups and downs that brought them to this point, their bond was unbreakable.
Pacey looked down at the light of happiness in her eyes. It was one of the things he loved most about her, and at the same time it was one of the things that could frustrate him the most. Her eyes were always honest about how she felt, no matter what she was doing or saying—sometimes to the contradictory. Gazing up at him, her light shone brightly, and he didn't want to be the one to extinguish it.
"Sure, Dawson," he said, looking up at their friend, whose jaw was set, his eyes hard. Dawson's eyes were honest with him, too, even if he did have the ability to hide his real feelings from Joey. Or maybe he didn't, and she only saw what she desperately wanted to see. "Thanks."
His gaze returned to Joey and he smiled down at her as he brushed a loose tendril of dark hair behind her ear.
Dawson cleared his throat. "I'll, uh, I'll just wait for you in the parking lot."
"Okay," he said without taking his eyes off Joey's face.
When their friend was out of sight, she pulled him into another tight hug. "So, uh, when you get home later, pack a bag with enough clothes for… let's say… a week," he murmured into her ear.
She chuckled. "What about Gretchen?"
"She said it's totally cool and it'll be like she's not even there, so don't worry about feeling awkward or embarrassed," he grinned, pulling out of the embrace. "Please stay with me, Jo."
She took a deep breath and then shrugged. "Oh, all right, I suppose," she teased, rolling her eyes.
A huge smile spread across his face. "Really? You'll stay for the whole week?"
"You might get sick of me, though."
"Ha! We survived three months on a cramped boat. The beach house for one week will be nothin'. What will you tell Bessie?"
"That I'm spending winter break with my boyfriend," she said matter-of-factly. "What's she going to do? Lock me in my room? I'm a legal adult."
"I'd break you out, even if she did."
"I know you would." She smiled sweetly up at him. "You better not keep Dawson waiting."
He swallowed, nodding. "Yeah. I'll see you at the house later?"
She lifted her face to kiss him. Students were still going to and fro in the hallway behind them, but she didn't care at this point. Their lips met once, twice, tender, loving caresses. "I'll see you later."
After grabbing his coat and backpack from his locker, it wasn't long before Pacey was striding across the student lot, making for Dawson's SUV. He'd half-expected his friend not to be there, and wondered if the offer to drive him had been genuine, but then quickly realized he'd said it in Joey's presence, which bound him to follow through. Taking a deep breath, he opened the passenger side door and climbed in.
Once his seatbelt was buckled, Dawson turned to him. "Ready?"
"Uh, yeah."
The short drive from school to the beach house was a silent one. When they arrived in the driveway, Pacey reached for the handle and opened the car door. "Well, thanks for the ride, Dawson."
"No problem."
As he started to exit the vehicle, he noticed that his friend was also getting out and then was following him. As he walked towards the house, Pacey glanced over his shoulder. "You're escorting me to my front door, Dawson? How gentlemanly of you."
When he stepped onto the porch, he turned to see him staring, his face hard. "Go ahead, Dawson. Speak your mind. Joey's not here, so you can say how you really feel."
"Do you honestly think you're the better man for her?"
"Better than you, you mean?" He sighed. "Dawson, this was never a competition. And what I think doesn't really matter. It's Joey's life. She makes her own choices."
His friend stood there shaking his head. "The things about you that swept her off her feet—your impulsiveness, recklessness, thoughtlessness, all the chivalrous crap—just for how long do you think your behavior is gonna stay cute? What you did today in the cafeteria, how many more times are you gonna react that way to every problem before she gets sick of it?"
Pacey clenched his jaw. "Is there a point you're trying to make here, Dawson?"
"You're all wrong for her. I'm sure it's new and exciting right now, and maybe Joey's in some sort of bad boy phase, I don't know. But there's going to come a time when it's not new or exciting anymore, and she's going to need stability, an anchor, and that's not you, Pacey. How long do you think before your self-deprecating slacker routine becomes tiresome once high school is over? Especially since you apparently have no desire to go to college to better your life? How long before that gets tired?
"Do you really think Joey needs to go to Worthington carrying around your baggage? There will come a point when she's going to want a man who can take care of her, someone mature who doesn't take foolish risks that could mess up his life, or hers. Someone who can give her the security she needs. And that's not you. What did you get for beating up Drue? Suspension?"
He huffed. "In-school suspension."
"You're lucky you weren't expelled. You're a screw-up, Pacey. You're always gonna be a screw-up. And one of these days, you're gonna screw up so bad, that Joey is gonna end up hurt and heartbroken."
"Dawson, I would rather cut off my own arm with a bread knife than do anything that would hurt Joey."
He arched his brows. "Oh, yeah? That thing Drue did today? I'm willing to bet that was partly your fault. What would ever have possessed Joey to put something so personal, so private, in writing, while on a bus surrounded by other students? I'm sure you talked her into it, and look what happened."
Pacey bristled, feeling anger start to bubble in the pit of his stomach. "Like I said, Joey makes her own choices. She wasn't the only one who filled that thing out—most everyone on the bus did. She just happened to be the only one Drue Valentine has some twisted obsession with."
"Yeah, well, I never would have let her write that stuff down, and then something like this never would've happened to her."
"Let her? Jesus Christ, Dawson. I'm not her boss, I'm her boyfriend."
"You know what? It's fine, Pacey. Because I know you're gonna keep messing up, and every time you do, I'm gonna be there to fix it and pick up the pieces, just like I did today. I don't need to prove that I'm the better man than you. We both know I am, and the more you screw up, the more she'll start to see the truth, too. And it'll be me she runs to when it becomes obvious that you'll never give her the stability and security she needs. She's going to regret she ever chose you over me, and she'll regret that she hadn't waited for her soulmate and wasted her affection on you."
"Do you hear yourself, Dawson? Do you hear what's coming out of your mouth? Are you delusional enough to believe the crap you're saying?"
"I'll eventually get what belongs to me, Pacey. Fate always has a way of working itself out."
He almost started to feel sorry for the guy. Almost. It was clear that in Dawson's mind, Joey was still that girl afraid of life, afraid of the future, who couldn't handle any difficulty without the need to run over to his house, climb his ladder, and hide away in his bedroom for hours. "Has it occurred to you, Dawson, that Joey can give herself security? She's stronger than you've ever given her credit for, and maybe if you hadn't been her emotional crutch for so many years, she would've figured that out about herself a lot sooner."
Dawson scoffed.
"Do you know what Joey needs? More than anything? She just needs to be loved, Dawson. You know, real love. She needs to feel loved, accepted, encouraged, and not made to feel unworthy, less than. She needs the freedom to be her own person, whoever or whatever she decides to be, and she needs the space to make mistakes, and to have someone tell her it's okay. She doesn't have to be perfect. Her life doesn't have to be perfect. No matter what happens, good or bad, she'll be okay. That's what she needs, Dawson. Not some self-proclaimed soulmate who pressures her into believing she has to be what he thinks she should be, so much so that fear of his disapproval sends her into a spiral of guilt and shame whenever she thinks she's not living up to his expectations."
Dawson looked away, avoiding his direct, accusatory gaze, but he still laughed derisively.
"You haven't changed a bit. You may be able to fool her, for now, but you can't fool me. This is me you're talking to, Dawson. I know how your mind works. I've seen the ugly sides that she never saw, at least until last spring when she got a faceful of it. You seem to maintain this reputation of being harmless and respectful and the nice guy. You stand there and think you're the better man, that you're morally superior.
"You're petty and manipulative, and you treat women like property. You go out of your way to prove to them how nice you are, but when they reject you, you feel personally wronged, which only proves how entitled you felt to their bodies all along, especially Joey's. Entitlement isn't nice, Dawson. Since we were kids, you always had some warped sense of ownership over her. And someday Joey is gonna realize it. Not today, and probably not tomorrow or next month or even the month after that, but someday she'll be ready to open her eyes and face the reality of Dawson Leery."
Without another word, his former best friend turned and stormed off back towards his SUV. Shaking his head, Pacey walked inside his house. He took a deep breath and looked around. The place was a little messy, and he started to pick up. Joey would be coming over soon, and she would be spending the night. He'd get to fall asleep next to her, and when he woke up tomorrow morning, she'd be there lying beside him.
While he cleaned up the place, he thought about what Dawson said to him and found it had had little effect on him. Pacey's heart told him that he and Joey were meant for each other, and not in a silly fantastical way where their lives were controlled by fate or destiny. They were meant for each other because they were right for each other. Nothing and no one could be more right. Theirs was a love built to last a lifetime.
She wanted him, and he wanted her. She needed him, and he needed her. She understood him, and he understood her. She trusted him, and he trusted her. She loved him, and he loved her. She belonged to him, and he belonged to her. He believed that if they always stayed as close as they were now, nothing could ever come between them. Certainly not Dawson. He didn't understand Joey, not anymore, and Pacey was starting to wonder if he ever truly did.
An hour later, there was a knock on the sliding glass door in the living room. Smiling, he turned to see Joey standing on the back porch, bag over her shoulder. He quickly walked out of the kitchen, and she smiled as he approached. Pacey opened the door. Before he had a chance to say a word, Joey tossed her bag to the floor and grabbed his head possessively, taking him by surprise, her lips crashing against his, claiming him fiercely and urgently, and the thrill that radiated through him was electric.