1) This chapter contains sexually explicit material.
2) I apologize for the length of this chapter. I tried to split it, but then the flow was off. I hope you enjoy the update. As always, feedback is appreciated.
February 24. On Saturday, Joey started her first day at Leery's Fresh Fish. The waitress she'd been assigned to train with, Angela, was in her late twenties, and working at the restaurant as a second job to help with her student loan payments. The woman was a big help, patient and kind with her as she learned the ins and outs of the place. The kitchen staff also seemed nice, with plenty of friendly jabs about her having to both live and work with Bodie.
The restaurant was bustling with activity as the lunchtime crowd came and went. Trays, drinks, and bussers, including Dawson, whirled around her. Just before three o'clock, Gretchen arrived to work her bartending shift. "So, how's it going so far?" she asked as she stepped out of the employee coat closet.
"Okay so far," Joey replied.
Suddenly Dawson appeared at her side. "Don't let her modesty fool you," he said, smiling, his hand briefly grasping her shoulder. "She's doing great."
She blushed and shrugged. "I'm still getting the hang of it."
Gretchen's smile was tight as her gaze flickered between them. "That's good to hear."
An hour later, Joey approached the bar with a drink order. "Two Coronas for table twelve."
"Okay," Gretchen said.
Then Dawson approached the bar. "Do you need anything from the kitchen?" he asked her.
"No, I'm good for now," she answered without looking at him.
Joey watched Dawson smile awkwardly and then walk away. She turned back to Gretchen. "Are things… okay between you two?"
"What do you mean by things? You share Pacey's opinion that there's something going on between me and Dawson?"
She shrugged. "I honestly don't know your side of it. I just know Dawson really likes you." She leaned closer to the bar. "He really, really does, Gretchen. And I think he's just too nervous to say so and doesn't want to ruin another good friendship by making it into something more. Maybe you should be the one to say something." Then she caught herself. "Unless he has said something? I haven't talked to him much since we got back from the ski trip, you know…" She blushed. "And I guess I don't really know if you like Dawson, too. I didn't mean to assume. It's fine if you don't like him in that way."
Gretchen sucked on her bottom lip for a moment. "No, Joey. Me and Dawson are just friends. It's not going to be anything more than that."
"Okay," she replied with a smile. "Well, I guess I should get back to Angela. Those beers?"
"Right. Sorry." She grabbed two Coronas from the cooler and placed them on the bar. "Uh, Joey… can I give you a piece of sisterly-slash-friendly advice?"
Her hands wrapped around the glass bottles as she eyed Gretchen, a feeling of anxiety twinging inside at her serious tone. "Um, sure."
Gretchen looked over at Dawson bussing a table across the large dining room. "You need to be careful with him."
"Him?" She turned and followed Gretchen's eyeline, and then her brows knitted. "Dawson?" She laughed. "Careful? Why?"
"I get the sense that underneath that all-American-boy-next-door, blue-eyed nice guy exterior, he's a little twisted."
Joey felt her eyes go round as quarters. "Like sicko twisted? Dawson?" She laughed in disbelief.
"No, not that kind of twisted. I meant… like foxy, conniving twisted. Like he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants, even if that means bending the rules."
"I don't agree with that. I mean, this is Dawson Leery we're talking about. He's…" She shrugged. "He's very straightforward when it comes to things that he's passionate about, things he wants."
Gretchen glanced over at him again before she spoke. "I know that's true about most things, but… when it comes to you, I think his innocent best-friends-forever routine might just be a front. I think he might be using that to set you up before he makes a play for you."
"What? You're saying Dawson is some sort of master manipulator or something?" she asked skeptically. She gave another disbelieving laugh.
"I'm just asking you to please be careful when you're around him, and if not for your own sake, then for Pacey's."
"I—" Joey started to defend Dawson and protest how ridiculous this all was, but quickly gave up when Angela appeared at the bar to inquire about the drink order. "Okay. Well… thanks, Gretchen," she said before walking off with the other waitress.
The two Coronas were soon handed off to the customers. "So, you're datin' Gretchen's younger brother, right?" Angela said as they walked out of their section to ring up the check for another table.
"Yeah. Pacey."
"I don't think I've met him. He doesn't really come in here. Well, not that I've seen, anyway. So, what's he like?"
Joey smiled, warmth spreading through her. "He's wonderful. A mad-cap genius. Incredibly kind and funny and just… perfect."
Angela laughed, her jet-black eyes shining with humor, her long black braids swinging behind her back. "Honey, no man is perfect. But you're young. You'll find out eventually."
"Well, I'm not saying he doesn't have flaws. He's not a perfect person, but he's perfect for me."
"Ahh, high school." Angela laughed again, and she blushed, rolling her eyes.
For the next half hour, Joey thought about Gretchen's warning and wondered if she was right. Yet as the rest of her afternoon wore on, all her interactions with Dawson were as friendly and banal as they ever were. There was nothing unusual or suspicious about him or anything he said or did. He was the same Dawson he'd always been, and she shrugged off Gretchen's warning as misplaced concern. Missing Pacey, she found herself often looking at the clock, anticipating their evening together, wanting time to move faster.
Just after six, Joey stood outside the employee coat closet that was near the kitchen. She was on her way out the door as the busy dinner crowd was starting to move in. Dawson smiled as he grabbed his coat.
"So, how was your first day on the job?" he asked.
She shrugged on her coat and smiled back. "It was all right. As soon as I learn the table numbers and the menu, I think I'll be fine."
"Well, it was fun to hang out all day. Hasn't happened in a while."
"Yeah, I know."
"You've been too busy with Pacey. So… did you have a nice winter break?"
She blushed as she buttoned up her coat and refused to meet his eye. "Yeah, it was great."
Then Gretchen appeared. "So, how was your first day?"
Joey laughed. "It was fine. Everyone is so concerned with whether I had a good day or not. I think you're the fifth person who's asked me."
"Well, we just want you to stick around."
"Definitely," Dawson agreed. He turned to Joey. "Um, are you busy right now? You wanna do something? You could come over and we could watch a movie, or…"
Her eyes flickered to Gretchen, who pursed her lips at Dawson and then cleared her throat before putting on a smile. "Well, I gotta get back behind the bar. I'll see you guys later."
Joey began walking towards the employee door. She wanted nothing more than to get back to Pacey as soon as possible. "Thanks for the offer, and I'd really love to do something some other time, but I can't right now."
"Why? Does Pacey not want us hanging out, you know, just the two of us?" he asked.
"No," she scoffed, throwing him a look. "But I'm still staying at his house until tomorrow, and he's expecting me."
"Well, can't you call him and tell him you wanna hang out with me for a while?"
She shoved her hands in her coat pocket and shivered when the cold air hit her as they stepped out the door. She was starting to feel impatient to end the conversation. Her body longed to be reunited with Pacey. "I'm sure I could if that's what I wanted to do, Dawson. It's our last night together before I go back home tomorrow. It wouldn't be very nice to skip out on the time we have left to hang out with someone else, now would it?"
He sighed heavily. "No, Joey, I completely understand. But I'll see you back here tomorrow, though, right?"
"Yes, Dawson. Don't worry. I like the job. Everyone's been really nice and helpful. I had a great first day. Okay? I'll be back in the morning."
The two friends said their goodbyes, and then she hurried to her truck.
Pacey was sitting on the couch when the sliding glass door opened behind him and Joey walked into the house. He turned his head to look at her and smiled, a pleasant warmth flowing through him at the sight of her. "Hey, sweetheart. So, how was working at the Leery's restaurant?"
She took off her coat as she walked around the couch, tossing it into the nearby armchair. She snatched the TV remote out of his hand.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "What's—"
Joey grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. She climbed into his lap and held him tighter, deepening her embrace while she moved his lips with her own. Pacey moaned as he felt her dominate him. He ran his hands up her back and gasped when she broke their kiss.
"I missed you all day."
"I can tell," he grinned.
Her hands moved from his neck down his chest, and then she tore his shirt off quicker than Pacey could move. She tossed it on the floor and kissed his chest and shoulders before trailing her kisses up his neck. She was still wearing her work clothes—her white button-down shirt, knee-length black skirt, and black shoes. Her hands went to his jeans, unfastening the button and taking down the zipper.
His expression was a mixture of pleasure and confusion. Then he held her face and kissed her tenderly. "I missed you all day, too," he whispered against her lips, and then let the kiss linger for a long time.
"You did?" she said, luxuriating in his kisses.
"Every second."
The butterflies awoke from their slumber and he kissed her hungrily. Her hand traced the contours of his face and her fingers slid into his hair. She reached inside his boxers with her other hand to stroke his hardening erection.
He moaned. "Joey." His mouth went dry and he swallowed. "The… the condoms are upstairs."
"We'll improvise," she smirked, lifting herself slightly off his lap as she tugged his jeans down.
Although unsure what she meant by that, he lifted his pelvis and allowed her to push his jeans and boxers off his hips. Then she sat on his thighs and he pulled her against him. She was wet and aching, desperate for his touch. "So, are you gonna put your hand under my skirt or what?" she murmured, a teasing glint in her eye, as her hand returned to his cock.
A grin spread across his face as he reached for her, his hand sliding up her inner thigh, brushing against her panties. "I want you to look at me while I touch you," Pacey said quietly. "I want to watch your face."
Joey gasped as he carefully slid his fingers past the edge of her underwear and into her sensitive flesh. One hand flew to cradle his neck, holding onto him as she started to squirm in his lap.
"Look at how damn wet you are," he murmured, his fingers gliding up and down the slick seam of her folds.
She whimpered, her lips parted, her breath panting. "I missed you every second, too. I thought about you all day long." It was so hard to keep eye contact. She wanted to close her eyes and lean into the sensations he was sparking at her core. "Pacey," she begged, gripping his neck harder. "Please."
His fingers parted her folds, and then one large, thick digit stroked up and down, moving through her wet pussy in an erotic glide, and she gasped again. Panting, she slid her hand over his rigid length, tightening her grip as she pulled on his swollen head. "I want to make you come," she whispered against his lips between kisses.
Pacey groaned and bit down on her lower lip, then licked the nip away. "You know I'm yours, Jo. Whatever you want with me, take it."
"Anything?" She arched her brows, a finger caressing over his sensitive slit.
He hissed, but then pursed his lips. "Anything but that."
"Okay. Well… for now."
"Still asking for trouble, Potter," he replied, shaking his head.
Smiling, she lifted her hand and licked her palm, before closing her fist around him again. He groaned and thrust into her, rocking against her grip, as she ran her fisted hand from root to tip of his impressive erection. He was hot to the touch, pulsing, and the clear fluid now leaking from his tip allowed her to easily quicken her movements. His breath hissed out between his teeth as her slick hand glided over his hard length.
Pacey's body was stiff as she leaned over him, and he was panting with every squeezing stroke of her hand. He found her clit, and she leaned over and kissed him furiously. He stroked in teasing circles. It made her entire body quiver, and she spread her legs wider, her skirt bunching up around her waist. She panted shamelessly, clinging to him with one hand and stroking him with another, as he rubbed her toward an orgasm.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, gazing into her brown eyes.
"So are you."
The orgasm rose and built in her body, and she rode his hand, chasing the ecstasy of release that hovered just over the edge. When it finally came, she cried out his name. Her spasms began to subside and then she felt him shudder, felt his hardness throbbing in her hand. "You are so sexy," she told him as she watched his face contort with erotic agony, heard his delicious groans fill her ears, and felt his hot, wet heat spill over her hand.
She was still working him with her sticky hand, determined to give him every bit of pleasure she could. His eyes slammed shut. "Oh, baby, fuck, Joey," he moaned, intense euphoria flooding his entire body, his head swimming with it.
When at last he gave one final groan and pulled her hand away, she felt a deep sense of accomplishment. He hadn't lasted that long—she'd made him come hard and fast. That was a heady feeling, and she loved the dazed expression on his handsome face as he pressed his forehead to hers and worked to catch his breath.
That had been so very worth it. It didn't matter that she was still wanting him deep inside, craving the fullness only he could give her. They could save that for later. She loved giving him this release, and the blissful fog of her own orgasm filled her with satisfaction. When Pacey gazed at her and licked his fingers clean of her taste, she gasped all over again.
Their lips met in a passionate kiss, but all the frantic need was drained out of them, and the kiss was tender and slow and oh so sweet. "I'm gonna grab a towel," he said, pulling back from her lips.
"I can get it."
"I'll do it. Wait here."
She watched him like the greedy woman she was, devouring his perfect ass and the dimples at his lower back as he got to his feet and pulled his jeans up. When he returned from the bathroom, he had a warm, wet washcloth that he ran over her hand to clean her off. She gazed at him, her heart swelling. He was so kind, thoughtful… and yet had such a fierce protective streak, too. It was a combination that was like catnip to her soul.
When she returned to the living room from the bathroom, she sat down while he pulled on his shirt, and then he gathered her in his arms. "How was your day?" she asked him.
"Not the same without you."
"What did you do?"
"I cooked breakfast at the B&B, which you already know, and I took Buzz to his karate class—he's getting really good, that kid—and then we went to the mall, where we had lunch in the food court and spent a couple hours in the arcade. And, uh… since then, I've just been driving myself crazy waiting for you to get back."
He watched her smile, and he cleared his throat, before again giving voice to the one thing that had been running round in circles in his head all day. "So, are you gonna tell me how it was working at the restaurant?"
She smiled. "It was good. I think it will be a nice place to work. Gail and Bodie seem to have a good group of people working there."
"Like Dawson? How was working with him?"
"Fine. I was mostly shadowing another waitress, though."
That night Pacey cooked dinner for her in his kitchen—fresh whitefish, potatoes, a salad for her, and chocolate sauce so thick it turned hard when it hit the vanilla ice cream. They were cuddling on the couch watching SNL when Gretchen came through the front door, depositing her bags on the kitchen floor. She smiled when she saw them and said hello. She hung around the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge, and Pacey caught her throwing glances in his direction.
Clearing his throat, he turned to Joey. "Wanna head upstairs to bed?"
"Sure," she smiled, and they stood up from the couch.
"Um, I'm gonna talk to Gretchen for a minute and then I'll meet you up there."
"Okay."
He watched Joey walk down the hallway and when he heard her footsteps on the stairs, he walked into the kitchen. "So, what's up?"
Gretchen shrugged her shoulders, not meeting his gaze. "Nothing's up. How was your week?"
"Great. How was yours? How was staying with Dougie?"
"Oh, fine. You were right. He worked long hours, gave me my space. And that couch really is comfortable."
He grinned. "See? What'd I tell ya?" Then his sister was quiet again and he watched her get out some bread and put it in the toaster. Something about her body language wasn't sitting right with him. "Are you sure nothing's up?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Pacey."
"Hmm." Then he remembered last weekend. "You know, uh, last Saturday? Dawson came over here looking for you."
She turned to stare at him. "He did?"
Nodding, he shoved his hands in his pocket. "Yep. I thought it was kinda weird that he showed up here so early in the morning, like he was worried. Did something happen Friday night when you two were hanging out having your movie night?"
The toasted bread popped up, and Gretchen laid them on a plate before opening the small round container of butter. She sighed as she spread the butter across the toast. "Do you remember our conversation here in the kitchen before I left last Friday?"
"Yes." He stepped closer.
"Well, you were right. Dawson does still believe that Joey is his soulmate and that the fates will find a way to get them back together." She sighed again and took a bite of her toast. After swallowing, she spoke. "So, he said all that and then admitted he'd been clinging to this hope that, even though they had broken up, Joey would hold off having sex with any guys she dated because they were meant to lose their virginity together. That no other guy would be more important to her than him. And he admitted that he'd allowed himself to believe that it was only a matter of time before you and Joey broke up because you'd realize that she was never going to have sex with you."
Crossing his arms, his jaw clenched. Nothing she'd told him was surprising—disappointing, but not surprising.
"Then he admitted that even though he now knows about the two of you, and while he felt hurt that someone else—and I quote—stole her virginity, he believes that his and Joey's true fate was merely interrupted, and all roads lead back to him…"
He shook his head. "Unbelievable," he said, and then paused. "Scratch that. It's totally believable."
"Yeah, well, and then we sort of got in an argument about it."
"And what was said during this argument?"
Hesitating to answer, Gretchen took another bite of her toast. "I know you told me not to say anything to Dawson about you and Joey, but… I couldn't help it. I told him that you and Joey were really happy and that you're good for each other—nothing I haven't also said to you. Well, Dawson didn't seem to agree with that last point and said that you were all wrong for her. That she deserved to be with someone who had his life together, someone who actually had a future to give her."
Pacey stared, and his heart lurched. Joey did deserve more. He had always known he wasn't good enough for her, and if he were at all truly noble, if he had a single fiber of real character, real morality, he'd send her on her way so she could have the kind of future she dreamed of. A future full of success. A future free from worries about money. Free from the shackles of this town, where her family history had held her back, had made people look down on her, and had forced her to work twice as hard as everyone else to achieve what the other more privileged kids in Capeside had freely handed to them.
She had too much going for her, and she was on a path to achieve a brilliant future. He knew he wasn't her equal. He knew having someone like him by her side, someone who was Capeside through and through, would only hold her back from achieving the most she possibly could. The world she was about enter after high school—he didn't really belong there. Still, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her, of giving her up. There was no way he could, and maybe that made him selfish, greedy, but so be it.
Gretchen frowned as she finished off her toast. "And then… he said that he was going to do everything he could think of to get Joey back and make a film career work and give her the life she deserves. That they were destined to be together and get a happy ending. He said he'd do whatever it takes. And, well, the evening definitely took a downturn after that. I couldn't sit there watching movies and eating popcorn with him anymore. So, I just left."
His hand rubbed over his mouth and nodded. This wasn't exactly news to him.
"Anyway, I tried to say something to Joey at work today, and—"
"You did?" he asked in surprise. "What did she say?"
Gretchen nodded and turned to grab her bags. "I don't think she took me seriously, and it looked like she was getting defensive, which was kind of frustrating."
He heaved a sigh. "She's got a blind spot where he's concerned, which is understandable, I suppose. You know, she thinks that now we've all kissed and made up, that we've just gone back to the way things were before that all happened last spring. As if nothing's really changed. She complains sometimes that Dawson still sees her as his fifteen-year-old friend who hasn't grown up, but she sees him the same way. She thinks that's the dynamic they have and that it hasn't changed. She can't see that it has changed, or doesn't want to see it.
"Her feelings for Dawson… cut across her intelligence, I think. Just like him with her. In every other area of her life, she's full of common sense and she certainly doesn't let people manipulate her. She's tough and independent, and has her eyes wide open about everything… except Dawson."
"Well, she may have a blind spot, but I certainly hope you don't. I know you two have been sort of hanging out again lately, but… watch your back, Pacey."
With a silent nod, he took his sister's bags from her. Then he carried them up the stairs, her warning going around his head in circles, and deposited them on her bedroom floor. As he reached the door to his own room, he heard the TV come on downstairs. He stepped inside and saw Joey sitting up in his bed, naked beneath the covers, waiting for him.
The moment Pacey walked into the bedroom, she sensed something was wrong. He smiled when he saw her, but it didn't reach his eyes. Her stomach clenched with worry. "What's the matter?"
He shook his head with a smile and started removing his shirt. "Nothing. Gretchen needed to talk."
"Is she okay?" she asked, concerned.
"She just had a frustrating day at work. She's all right."
He stripped out of the rest of his clothes and the way Joey's darkening eyes roamed over his body sent a rush of heat surging through him, blood pooling in his groin. He climbed into bed to sit next to her.
"Way to keep a girl waiting, Witter."
He chuckled. "Sorry."
"It's our last night before I go back home tomorrow," she murmured, shifting closer to him, her hand seeking him out beneath the sheet.
He groaned when her hand closed around his growing erection. "It is. Well, I suppose we should make the most of it."
"Oh, you suppose, huh?" she laughed.
With a wicked grin he grasped her sides and pulled her down in a lying position, moving over her. Then he explored every inch of her skin, making love to her with each caress of his lips and hands. She was soon writhing against his suckling mouth and thrusting fingers. She clenched her teeth to quiet the scream wanting to escape her throat as her body spasmed. She rocked her hips against his fingers and mouth as he kept up the pressure, not letting her come down from her orgasm, but building it up again.
Pacey slowly moved up over Joey. He was achingly hard and in desperate need of a condom. She was languid as she moved against him, her long legs moving up and wrapping around his hips. He'd drawn out this lovemaking, wanting to savor every moment of the last night she was to call this place home.
"I don't want to come without you again," Joey said, her voice low with passion.
"That's why I'm here," he grinned, and she smiled up at him.
She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing her hands over his skin. He loved the feel of her long, cool fingers on him. When she found the sensitive area at the base of his spine, tracing her finger in a slow circle, a shudder went through his entire body. He drew her hand away from his back and linked their fingers together, tasting her with long slow sweeps of his tongue against her neck and collarbone. She smelled heavenly… sex and woman… his woman.
"Tell me you're mine," he whispered.
"What?" she laughed quietly.
"You're mine. Tell me."
"I'm all yours, Pacey. You know that."
"And no one else's."
Her brows knitted as she gave a breathless laugh. Then her smile faltered slightly. What exactly had Gretchen said to him in the kitchen? Had she tried to needlessly warn him, too? She sighed and squeezed his hand while she caressed his face with the other. "I'm all yours. Only yours."
He lifted himself and reached to the bedside table to get a condom. He needed to be inside of her. She held his shoulders as he sheathed himself in latex. He tested her body to make sure she was still ready for him. He held himself poised at her entrance. Felt her silky legs draw up along his hips and then fall open. Anticipation made the base of his spine tingle. She shifted under him. Her shoulders rotated until her peach-hard nipples brushed against his chest.
He lifted her hips and waited until their eyes met, then slid into her body. She was a tight fit and he eased inch by inch until he was fully seated inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her ankles resting on his legs. She closed her eyes for a minute, her arms tightening around him. He couldn't breathe anyway as he started to move over her, finding her mouth with his. She turned her head away from him, kissed his shoulders and neck, scraped her nails down his back as he thrust slowly, building them both toward the pinnacle.
He caught her face in his hand and tipped her head back until her gaze locked with his as he rode her. Her eyes widened and he felt something shift inside him. He wanted to go so deep that the two of them would never be separated.
She gasped his name as he increased the pace of his thrusts, feeling his own climax rushing toward him. He changed the angle of their bodies so that his penetration would hit that sweet spot inside her. Joey's mouth opened on a cry that was his name as her orgasm rolled through her body. He continued thrusting, driving himself deeper and deeper until he came in a rush, moaning her name.
Pacey wrapped his arms around her, letting his body relax into the blissful fog. He felt the strength in her arms as she hugged him tight, and he knew. He knew that try as he may, Dawson couldn't take her from him. No one could. She was his to lose, and he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize their relationship, including involving himself in the seemingly never-ending saga that was their triangle. He refused to participate in it.
But he couldn't sleep as he held her. He knew that their lives were about to become so much more complicated after graduation, which was now looming in front of them. Joey had a plan, a goal, and he was going to do everything in his power to help her reach it. He just didn't know where he fit into it, what would become of him. He stayed awake all night, puzzling over this young woman who was everything he ever wanted and nothing he knew what to do with once he was done with high school. While he was certain no other man could take her from him, the life that was likely waiting for her at Worthington, however, was formidable competition.
He needed her way more than she needed him, and that scared him. There was nothing he could offer her that she couldn't achieve all on her own. Watching her sleep, her delicate hand on his chest, he knew that he would never want another woman as much as he wanted her.
He'd always wanted her.
There would never be another for him.
She had such control over him and it was terrifying because, really, what kind of life could he give her? The only thing he had to give was himself, and what good was that, really? He tried to imagine what their life would look like years down the road, when they were both finally grown up, in some obscure adult future that was post-Worthington. She'd be an amazing success and he'd… well, he had no idea. He also didn't know how to be a husband and a father. The biggest example in his life was his own father and that had been terrible.
"You're nothing, Pacey. And you'll amount to nothing. You're gonna end up throwing away every opportunity to be something, and for what? Nothing. You're nothing."
Those were the words that had been spewed his way after he'd brought home yet another abysmal report card freshman year. Sometimes he wished he could go back to middle school and bust his ass to bring home good grades. Really make the effort. Maybe his father would have eventually stopped hating him. Maybe at some point he would have made him proud. He knew it was foolish to dwell on the past because nothing could change it, and he also knew nothing could change how his father felt about him. The times he actually did do well were essentially ignored by the man.
Joey deserved someone who could give her the life that she wanted. She hadn't had a normal upbringing either, but at least her mom and dad had loved her and they'd had a good relationship. He didn't have that with either of his parents. He wanted to be better than them when he was older, but what if he didn't know how? John Witter had at least gotten himself a successful career, made good money, and bought his wife one of the nicest houses on the creek.
He probably wouldn't even be able to do that for Joey. He had started to believe that he could have her forever. That God or the universe had given him a partner who was beyond anything he'd ever imagined deserving. He should have remembered the truth of his childhood—he wasn't worth anything. He was just a no-good piece of trash nobody wanted. His parents didn't want him. None of the schools in Boston wanted him.
Except… Joey did want him, and loved him, and needed him. And he loved her, and he knew that's what she needed, and that was what he could give her. Maybe that was enough, at least for now.
Before the sun started to rise, he kissed her awake and rolled her over and under him, making love to her again. Then his morning alarm sounded, reminding him of his responsibilities. He left her dozing to shower and dress, and then made his way downstairs and out the door, heading over to the B&B.
Joey had wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and wait for Pacey to get back, but something was weighing on her mind. She lay there thinking for some time, and after hearing Gretchen's bedroom door open, she hopped out of bed and threw on Pacey's blue plaid robe. Once she tied it around her waist, she slid her feet into his slippers and went downstairs.
She found Pacey's sister making coffee in the kitchen. "Hi."
"Good morning," Gretchen replied, before opening a cabinet and retrieving a coffee mug.
"Um," she glanced down at the robe she was wearing. "I'm sorry if… you know, if you overheard anything last night." Or this morning, she thought. "I mean, I know 'cause it's your brother and all that it's probably not the most comfortable situa—"
"I had the TV on pretty loud down here, so no worries." She poured coffee into her mug. "All was quiet by the time I went up to bed."
She frowned. Gretchen hadn't even turned to look at her yet. "Um… did you… say something to Pacey last night? Something about Dawson, maybe?"
"And what makes you say that?"
Joey chewed on her lip as Gretchen added cream and sugar to her coffee. "Well, it's just that… well, Pacey had this look on his face when he came upstairs, and… it's a look I've seen many times before."
"I'm sure you have."
She bristled at Gretchen's tone of voice. "Look, you weren't here last spring, and so you don't know what it was like, just how bad it was between the three of us. We can't go back there, back to that awful place. I know you love Pacey and of course, you'd want to look out for him, but I don't need you, or anyone, filling his head with things he doesn't have to worry about. He has absolutely no reason to worry or doubt, and I don't need anyone giving him non-existent reasons to do so."
Before Gretchen could reply, they were interrupted. Pacey opened the front door and appeared in the kitchen, smiling at the sight of them. "What's up, you guys?"
"Your sister made coffee," Joey replied. "You want some? I'm gonna go take a shower and pack up my stuff. I have to be at the restaurant by ten o'clock."
"Okay." He kissed her and watched her leave the kitchen. The sight of her in his robe still made the butterflies dance in his gut. He turned to his sister as he went to grab a coffee mug. "And what were you two talking about, huh?" he asked with a grin.
"You," Gretchen replied mysteriously, and he smirked.
"Girl talk?"
"Something like that." Then she groaned. "Why did I get up so early on a Sunday?" she said before also walking out of the room and heading back upstairs.
Finding himself suddenly alone in the kitchen, Pacey shrugged off his coat and poured himself a cup of coffee. After fixing a bowl of cereal, he collapsed on the couch and turned on the television. A little later, Joey returned downstairs wearing her work clothes and carrying her duffel bag. She pouted when she laid eyes on him.
"I won't be coming back here after work."
He chuckled. "Well, winter break is over, Miss Potter. You'll see me in the morning, though." Then his mouth curved into a scowl. "Well, at least on the ride to school. After that, I'll be in suspension all day."
She frowned in sympathy. "At least it's only three days. It'll be over before you know it." Smiling, she walked over to join him on the couch. "And, you know, the restaurant is closed on Mondays, so we can just come right back here after school and spend the evening together."
His hand brushed her cheek and he leaned over to kiss her. "Have a good day at work."
She stood up from the couch with a sigh. "I'm sure I will. I'll be with Angela again, and she's really nice."
A little while after Joey left, there was a knock on the front door. With furrowed brows, he moved off the couch and out of the living room. There was another knock just as he reached the door, and when he opened it, he gaped in surprise.
"Witter," Drue Valentine said in greeting, his mouth curving into a small smile.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Drue took a deep breath, and reached into his pocket. Then he handed over a folded piece of paper. Tentatively, Pacey took it from him and opened it. It was the sex quiz Joey had filled out on the return ride from the ski trip.
"It's the original, as you can see," Drue explained. "The one I stole from your bag." He sighed heavily and shoved his hands in his coat pockets. "I, uh, I'm really sorry. It was fucked up, what I did. I honestly feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about it. And I never meant for Joey to lose her job. I tried to tell my mom that the whole stupid thing was my fault and to let Joey have her job back, but she refuses to budge. I, uh, I just feel really bad about that."
Pacey lifted a skeptical brow. Drue Valentine? Remorseful? Not likely.
He let out a breathless laugh. "I know that's probably hard for you to believe, but I'm telling you the truth. If there was a way to somehow convince my mom to give Potter her job back, I'd do it. I've tried everything. I even told my mom that I wasn't gonna work there either unless she relented, but…" He shook his head. "I never wanted her to get fired."
He folded up the paper and shoved it in the back pocket of his jeans. "Well, I appreciate this. It doesn't make up for what you did, but I'm grateful you returned it."
Drue shrugged it off.
"So, you're not working at the yacht club now either?"
"Nope. I quit. My mom threw a hissy, but she can't make me work there if I don't want to. I'm eighteen."
"Does that mean you're gonna be looking for a job? I suppose you have plenty of time to find one, seeing as how you won't be in school for a while."
The guy shrugged again. "I have other sources of income, and very loyal clients."
Pacey scoffed. "Oh, that's right. I forgot. You're Capeside's new friendly neighborhood drug dealer with all the right connections to New York City."
"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, Witter. I make good money, and I've got a list of people around the Cape who owe me big time, not to mention back in the city. That kind of loyalty and debt comes in handy whenever you might need to ask for a few favors down the road."
"I'll take your word for it," he deadpanned.
Drue smiled. "I'm off to meet with one such client right now, actually. At the Big Ace Saloon. You know, that bar near Capeside Community College. His name is Mack. Nice guy. Owes me a lot of money, though. It's quite a bad habit he's got, poor bastard."
Pacey set his jaw and fought an eye roll. "Okay, then. Well… see ya around, Drue. You can get the hell off my porch now."
Snickering, he turned and started walking away. "Wouldn't want your neighbors to see you associating with the likes of me, is that it, Witter?" he called out over his shoulder. "They could start to get all sorts of ideas about what might be going on inside this dumpy beach house of yours."
Rolling his eyes, Pacey slammed the door shut. Upstairs in his bedroom, he took the sex quiz from his pocket and placed it inside a Nike sneaker box, before returning the box to the back corner of the shelf in his closet.
February 28. It was the end of his last boring day of in-school suspension, which he was thankful for, but it was also the first day he was supposed to meet with Mr. Kapinos, which he was dreading. At the end of the day, he went to the counselor's office and was told to sit down on the couch against the wall. He took a seat, on his guard, and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked around the room. Mr. Kapinos then crossed his legs and waited for him to start talking. Pacey stared, determined to make the guy wait for as long as possible.
"It's like confession, isn't it? This sort of thing."
"Is your family Catholic? Have you ever been to confession?"
"I think my mom made me once or twice when I was a kid. We weren't really into going to church that much, other than at Christmas and Easter. Unless it was an election year and my dad needed to make a good impression with the voters of this county."
"Then why don't you confess? You've been here for half an hour and our time's almost up."
"People make things up in confession. Did you know that?"
Mr. Kapinos smirked. "I imagine some people do."
"People are liars. They want to be stars of their own little movies. Reinvent what happened. Pretend they had a snappy comeback when actually they thought of it in the car on the way home. Paint themselves to be the hero, the nice guy, when in reality they're not so nice."
"What's on your mind, Pacey?"
"Nothing."
Mr. Kapinos sighed patiently. "College acceptance letters will start being sent out next month. How are your options looking?"
"They're narrowing by the minute," he snarked. "You know, maybe higher education isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just because someone doesn't go to college doesn't mean they're not as smart as the people who do. May I ask your level of education, sir?"
"We're here to talk about you, Pacey."
He smiled cynically. "Maybe we could play Trivial Pursuit and see who wins, huh?"
"What do you want, coming here?"
"I have to come here, Mr. Kapinos."
The counselor cleared his throat. "Yes, that's true, but now that you're here, what do you want to get out of our meetings together?"
"Nothing. I don't want anything from you people."
"Pacey, you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together—meeting every week from here on through to the end of the school year. I'd hate to think you'd want this to be time spent wasted."
He kept silent. What could Mr. Kapinos do for him? The guy wanted him to sit there and spill his guts, and for what? Nothing would come of it. It was pointless. Why bother?
"You no longer live at home with your parents."
"I think we established that last year."
"And you didn't want to talk about it last year. How about now? Are you ready to talk about it?"
Indignation burned in the pit of his stomach. It was too little, too late.
Later that night, after disposing a condom and cleaning himself up in the bathroom, Pacey returned to his room and slipped back into bed. Joey snuggled up against him and he wrapped her in his arms. His nose brushed against hers. "Gretchen will be getting out of work soon," he told her. "Do you wanna stay over, or are you gonna head home?"
"I'd love to stay, but I should go and work on some homework. I still have about forty pages I have to read for AP Government before the quiz on Friday."
"Okay," he replied with a smile.
"So… are you gonna tell me how your meeting with Mr. Kapinos went?"
He averted his eyes from hers and shrugged. "Same as any meeting like that can be expected to go, I guess."
She frowned, her hand going to his chin, her fingers turning his head so that he would look at her. "Maybe if you opened up a little and let Mr. Kapinos help you."
"Help me? Help me with what?"
"With… whatever you may be dealing with, whatever may be bothering you that you don't want to talk about."
"What makes you think I'm bothered by anything, Jo?"
She gave him a pointed look. "What about culinary school? You get upset whenever I bring it up."
"Because me going away to culinary school would mean I wouldn't be in Boston with you, that's why."
Her hand moved to his cheek, caressing him. "Pacey, you know I want you with me, but—"
"Well, then maybe I should go away, if that's what you want. I mean, maybe I'd just hold you back when you're at Worthington. You'll probably do so much better there without me. You'll have a clean slate, you know. You'll be able to do anything, achieve anything, and you wouldn't have to worry about me and what I'm doing or not doing. You'd be free to pursue your dreams without me… holding you back."
Joey gaped at him. "Hold me back? Pacey, how can you think that? You've done nothing but encourage me to grow, and push me forward… help me reach for the things I want. That's the exact opposite of holding me back. And you know I don't want you to go away. I need you too much."
He pressed his forehead to hers, a sense of relief filling his chest. "I love you, Jo."
She kissed him softly. "I love you, too. You have to stop this negative thinking about yourself. We both know where it comes from, and maybe it would help you to talk about it."
He smiled sadly, but didn't say anything.
"There's so much locked up in here," she said quietly, touching the side of his head. "And in here." She pressed her palm to his bare chest over his heart. "Promise me you'll give these meetings with Mr. Kapinos a chance, Pace."
"Okay, I'll try… for you."
Her love for him shone in her eyes, and he felt it wash over him and cleanse him until he felt buoyed by hope and empowered by the strength of his love for her. He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply with all the warmth and love he felt inside.
March 14. Pacey woke on Wednesday morning wishing he could've slept another twenty-four hours and woke up on Thursday instead. It was a day he'd been dreading. Not only was it his day to meet with Mr. Kapinos, but it was also Dawson's birthday. His party later tonight at the Leery's house was all Joey had been talking about for the past few days, which was really starting to get under his skin after how the guy had behaved when it came to her birthday six months ago. He desperately wanted to skip it, but that wouldn't go over well, seeing as how Dawson came to his party back in January. He'd only look like a jerk.
He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.
When he came down the stairs, he saw Gretchen in the kitchen. She frowned at the sight of him and held up an unopened envelope. "Care to explain why I found this in the trash, Pacey?"
His stomach clenched, but then he brushed it off. "Because it doesn't matter what it says."
"Pacey, it's a letter from Berkshire Community College."
"Yeah, and do you happen to know where that school is, Gretch? It's in Pittsfield, clear on the other side of the state. So, it doesn't matter whether that letter is accepting me or rejecting me. It doesn't change the outcome, which is the fact I'm not going there. So… yes, I threw it away. Just like I threw away the letter I got from Holyoke Community College on Monday 'cause I'm not goin' there either."
He watched his sister shake her head at him, and to his surprise, tears filled her eyes. "It's not fair."
Sighing, he opened the fridge and took out the carton of orange juice. "Gretchen, I know what I'm doing."
"No, Pacey," she replied, her voice thick with emotion. "It's not fair what Mom and Dad did to you."
He froze and his stomach flipped as he reached for a glass. After a moment's pause, he pulled one from the cabinet and began to pour the juice, saying nothing in reply.
"What they did was heartless, truly. They're the reason you're blind to your own worth. That you can't see or accept that there's greatness inside you. The fact you can throw away any and all chances that come your way to tap into that greatness and make something of yourself…"
"Like you're one to talk," he said, and she scoffed. Then he drained his glass, before setting it on the counter just as he heard Joey honking the horn in the driveway. "Anyway, I gotta go. See you later."
"Pacey," his sister called out after him as he made for the door, but he shut it behind him without another word.
The conversation with Gretchen went round and round his head for the rest of the day. Between that and all the excited birthday party talk, he was downright miserable by the time he walked into eighth period. Joey had asked him what was wrong several times, but he merely chalked up his bad mood to having to meet with Mr. Kapinos later.
After walking out of his last class, Pacey found a note in his locker. He smiled as he opened it, wondering what his girlfriend had written him today. Every day since that first Monday after winter break when he'd been forced to endure in-school suspension, he received a note in his locker. Joey had a way of saying something new and affectionate every day. It was something that never got old and always yielded the same reaction: chills down his spine, followed by a sheepish grin.
"You are so handsome, that every time I see you walking down the hallway, my entire body clenches. You are killing me softly, Pacey Witter."
He chuckled as his face went red, and with tender, loving care, he folded the note again and tucked it carefully into the front compartment of his backpack for safe keeping until he got home. If only home was where he was heading right at this moment. After putting the books that he needed to take with him into his bag, with a groan he closed his locker and then made his way to Mr. Kapinos' office.
He was soon knocking on the door with the "School Psychologist" signage, and was ushered inside to take his familiar seat on the couch. This was only his third week of meetings with Mr. Kapinos and already he had a familiar seat? He grimaced at the thought.
"So, Pacey, how was your day?" the counselor asked from his leather office chair.
"Fine."
"Your classes?"
"Yeah, fine."
"You're doing very well in school, I have to say."
His frown deepened. "Is that a tone of surprise, I hear?"
"I just meant, considering…"
"Considering what?" he spat.
Mr. Kapinos pursed his lips as he sighed patiently. "And there's that obvious issue with male authority figures coming out. Are you ready to talk about that yet?"
Pacey crossed his arms defensively and remained silent.
"Look, Mr. Witter, these meetings are not for my benefit. They're to help you. Violent reactions to problems that can easily be solved with more reasonable methods are not normal, healthy reactions. I know we talked a little about this last year, but… I can't help but notice the correlation between how well you're doing in school and your removal from your parents' house."
"Well, I bombed those three final exams last year and I wasn't living with my parents."
"True, but if I recall from the Capeside High rumor mill, you had some added stresses in your life at that time, correct?"
"That would be an accurate statement," he replied tightly.
The counselor smiled. "And considering that you not only have the workload of the average senior student this year, but are also taking three make-up classes from last year, you're doing really well, and you should be proud. Your teachers are very pleased."
"I'm not doing it for them, okay? I'm busting my ass so I can get out of this damn place. The teachers around here only care about you if you're getting good grades. They bend over backwards for honors students, give them tons of leeway, but for students who do nothing but struggle, who could actually use that extra help, they don't give a crap."
He felt himself getting hot, felt the anger bubbling in his gut, felt the words rushing up, unable to stop them. "You know, where was all this concern for me in middle school? Hell, ninth grade? I was constantly acting out. Getting detentions left and right. My grades sucked. I came to school with a broken arm, bruised ribs, a dislocated shoulder another time, a sprained wrist here and there. And not one adult in this entire school system thought, 'Huh… maybe that Pacey Witter needs some extra attention.' Maybe if you people had actually given a damn about me years ago, well, maybe my trajectory would be a little different. You know, maybe I could've gotten into a school like Worthington. But nope, no one gave a damn. And now that I'm practically out the door, now you want to help me? Give me a break."
Mr. Kapinos remained silent, allowing space for him to keep talking.
And then all those memories that Pacey had locked up in the darkest corners of his mind so that he wouldn't have to think about them, slowly and all too stark and graphically, the details came flooding back. The beer bottle to his right cheek. The hospital where doctors and nurses patched him up after his father had beaten him so bad that he'd broken his arm. All the beatings and abuse he suffered and never fought back. The false accusations of crimes he had never committed but took the blame anyway.
And then unable to hold it back any longer, there in Mr. Kapinos' office he confessed, and it all came pouring out in torrents of anguish and pain.
Pacey started to weep with deep, panting sobs. His mother had supported his father, backed him up in all the lies he'd told to the doctors and nurses and fellow officers and friends and neighbors and anyone else who'd inquire about his injuries. Somehow her betrayal was far worse and cut much deeper than anything his father had inflicted on him, and he couldn't bring himself to speak of her.
He finally sat up and wiped his tears away, taking a steadying breath. With a look of surprise, he saw the counselor had moved to sit next to him on the couch and had placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"None of that was your fault. You didn't deserve such treatment, and there's no excuse for it. There's obviously something very broken inside your father that has nothing to do with you. You should've been cared for and protected. Your home should've been the safest place in the world for you, and I'm sorry it wasn't. And I'm sorry for all those years you were ignored, Pacey. I wasn't here then, but I wish someone had been. Someone who could've seen your cries for help and done something about it."
"Well, that's all in the past, right? I haven't lived with my parents for over a year. I haven't even seen them in over two months. There's no changing what happened in the past, but I know I'm never gonna let him walk all over me again. That's comforting, at least. To know he has no control over me anymore. That I don't have to answer to him. And soon I'll be gone from this town forever.
"But you know, it wasn't just the other teachers and adults in my life who ignored me. My own best friend didn't even really notice. Dawson was just happy my life was so shitty so that he could say his life was at least better than mine. That's all I was good for. And God forbid my life actually start getting pretty good because apparently that sends the earth spinning right of its axis.
"It's his eighteenth birthday today. I'm supposed to go to his house for a party tonight that his parents are throwing for him and act like everything's fine between us when I know the guy is just salivating for me to fuck up big time, for my life to turn to shit yet again, so everything can go back to the way it should be."
Mr. Kapinos sighed, nodding his head. "Well, you don't have to go."
"Ah, but then that would be awfully suspicious to the other people in my life, especially my girlfriend."
"Why do you feel like you have to pretend as though everything is fine between you and your friend?"
"Because, you see, if I don't, that will disrupt the very fragile peace we've all come to over the past few months. He's acting like everything is fine when we're around other people, particularly my girlfriend, so I can't be the one who starts acting like something is wrong. Because then I become the jerk—the bad guy—and I know that's exactly what he wants. Do you see the problem?"
"So, you feel like it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation?"
Pacey nodded and emphatically thrust his hand out. "Exactly."
"Have you tried not pretending everything is fine and seeing what kind of reaction you actually get? You're assuming your girlfriend—I take it she's the one the charade is for—will react badly if you're honest."
"Yeah, you see, well, Dawson is her friend, too. They're best friends, since we were kids. And the dynamic between the three of us has always been kinda tricky to maneuver, even at the best of times. The thing is, I can't convince her. Joey's always been his big defender. She has to see it for herself."
"But how can she see it for herself if you're both pretending when she's around?"
He laughed darkly. "Well, I'm not gonna be the one to snap first."
"Oh, so it's a competition."
"It always was. Look, we're all outta here in three months. He's not gonna go off to film school without making his big move, believe me."
Mr. Kapinos thought for a moment. "Okay, well, then we'll deal with that when it happens. Try focusing on one day at a time and not worrying about things beyond your control, like the behavior of others. What can I help you work through today that will make the rest of this day better for you? Ignoring your friend's behavior that you have no control over, what is the reason you don't want to be at this party later? Why can't you walk into that party and enjoy the company of your other friends, and Joey, and feel totally at ease? What feelings will being there provoke?"
Leaning over, elbows on his knees, he took a deep breath. "I guess… it'll just be a reminder that Dawson has this incredible life waiting for him after high school, and I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen to me. You know, he never had to worry about anything, at least not like I did. He has great parents, he never went without, never had to go to bed hungry, or worry what would happen to him if he didn't get out of the way fast enough. He never had to lie about bruises or cuts or broken bones.
"Even as a kid, he was singularly focused. He's put together, goal-oriented, bound for one of the best schools in the world, has parents who are pillars in the community. I'm just a slacker with a messed-up family who's going nowhere."
"No, you're right. You and Mr. Leery clearly had very different upbringings. He was free to spend all his energy on his own pursuits and follow his dreams, and at a young age, he was obviously given the freedom to pursue them, from what I hear from his teachers. That obviously wasn't the same for you. You grew up existing in survival mode, Pacey, using all of your energy to protect yourself as best you could from the physical and verbal abuses you were being assaulted with."
"So… maybe Dawson was right all along. He knows exactly where he's going and what he's gonna do with his life. He's gonna end up in New York or L.A. and I'm sure he'll get the success that he wants out there, and… what if he's right? What if that's the kind of future Joey deserves? I can't give her that. I'm nobody."
"No one is nobody, Pacey. Everyone is somebody to someone. Have you thought that maybe you're one of the lucky ones?"
He pulled a face. "Lucky? More like the opposite."
Mr. Kapinos squeezed his shoulder. "You're lucky because despite what your father did to you and put you through, you thrived, Pacey. So many in situations just like yours sadly don't. I mean, look at you. You're a young man who very much has got his life together."
He arched a skeptical brow. "Please," he scoffed in disbelief. "Me? You're kidding, right?"
"I don't mean knowing where you see yourself in five years, or knowing what you want to be when you grow up. Many adults can't even answer that question. I mean the fact that you're out on your own, taking care of yourself. You're doing extraordinary in school and you're going to graduate with the rest of your senior class. And on top of school, you're holding down a regular job. You had the odds stacked against you, but you turned out a success story, and you did it all on your own. There's absolutely no reason to think that the rest of your life won't be a success, too. You should feel proud and hold your head up high when you walk into any room, anywhere, and certainly if you walk into your friend's party tonight."
When Pacey walked out of Mr. Kapinos' office, he felt a lot better than when he'd first walked into it, as if a weight had been lifted, and when he strode out of the building, he was smiling.
Later, when Gretchen dropped him off at the Potter's house, he felt light on his feet as he approached their back door. He knocked and waited. Closing his eyes, he thought of Joey. Her soft, soothing voice, the way she cocked her head to the side when she was thinking. The way she chewed her bottom lip when she was debating what to say. The way she'd pull her hair behind her ears when frustrated or anxious. The cute way she'd flip her hair over her shoulder. The way her shoe dangled from her foot when she bounced her leg up and down. And that smile. She could light up a city with the wattage of her smile.
He opened his eyes as the door opened, and there she was, giving him that smile. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and they kissed gently. "Ready for the party," she said, flashing him another smile.
"Yes, I am, Miss Potter."
He held out his arm and she slid her hand around his elbow, holding onto him as they walked to her truck. She noticed the wrapped gift in his hand. "So, what did you get him?"
"A book," he answered.
Once inside the Leery's house, the party turned out not to be so bad. There was free-flowing punch, pizza, and tons of other food filling up Gail's kitchen. Jen and Mrs. Ryan were there, along with Jack and Mr. McPhee, Bessie, Bodie, and Alexander, and Gretchen. But it wasn't so great, either—there were also a bunch of kids from Dawson's film class at the party as well as some of the girls from Yearbook. Pacey found himself having short conversations with people he liked and long conversations with people he didn't.
Hovering at the back of the room, watching people mingle and laugh, he felt relaxed as he took in the friendly atmosphere. Gail squeezed his arm or patted his shoulder affectionately whenever she walked by him, which was nice. Mitch also seemed genuinely happy to see him.
Once she was able to pull herself away from the two Ashleys, Joey made her way over to him and he wrapped his arm around her and pressed a soft kiss to her brow. His eyes slowly drifted over her from head to toe. She was wearing the hell out of her simple black dress. "How's it going? Having a good time?"
"Good, and yes, I am."
"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"
"Yes," she said with a grin.
"Well, I'm telling you again," he replied. "Of course, you always look beautiful, but I hope this earns me some points in the perfect boyfriend department."
She eyed his cargo pants and navy blue button-down shirt. "Have I told you that you look like the man of my dreams?"
Heat filled his cheeks. "No, but it's sure nice to hear, Potter."
She smiled, and then suddenly Dawson was standing in front of them with a camera.
"Finally. There's no escaping me now," he said.
They groaned. "Dawson, I thought we already discussed how Yearbook is a ridiculous waste of time," Joey complained.
"But your classmates still voted you two Class Couple. So, you'll just have to grin and bear it. The deadline is Friday, and your picture is the only one I haven't gotten. Everything in the Yearbook is finished except for one measly picture. Pacey, talk some sense into her."
He turned to her and grinned. "Our picture in the Yearbook will make it official, Jo," he said into her ear. "It could really cinch Prom King and Queen for us."
She giggled and then shrugged in defeat. "Okay, fine, Dawson. Take the picture and get it over with."
They stood close together, their arms around each other, and then smiled for the flash of Dawson's camera. Time went on and they soon watched their friend open his gifts while everyone looked on, Mrs. Leery taking her own fair share of pictures. Pacey watched with keen interest as Dawson came to the wrapped gift he had brought.
Reading the gift tag, he paused. "To Dawson, from Pacey."
Everyone turned to look at him, and he offered back a half-smile. He then watched Dawson tear open the wrapping. "Wow," he said, as he discarded the paper, and stared down at the gift.
"What is it, honey?" Gail Leery asked.
"It's a book." Then he read the title out loud to the room. "Rebel without a Crew: Or How a 23-Year-Old Filmmaker With $7,000 Became a Hollywood Player by Robert Rodriguez."
"Who's Robert Rodriguez?" Mitch asked.
"He's a director, Dad. He made El Mariachi, Desperado, From Dusk till Dawn…" Dawson looked up at Pacey. He seemed truly touched and surprised at such a thoughtful gift. "Um… thank you. This is great."
He nodded. "You're welcome. Something you can aspire to, huh? Maybe you'll be the next big Hollywood player by the time you're twenty-three."
Dawson scoffed. "If only. I have to get into film school first."
"You will," Pacey said confidently.
His oldest friend gazed at him a moment before moving on to his other gifts.
A little while later, after expressing their thank yous to the party's hosts and saying their goodbyes, he and Joey left. He soon found himself standing in front of her back door again. "I'll see you in the morning," he said and kissed her cheek.
"That was a very nice gift you got for Dawson," she told him.
He shrugged. "It was just a book. You got him all those DVDs to go with the new DVD player his parents got him."
"Your gift was very thoughtful, and it's something I'm sure he'll love reading."
"He probably will. It's the perfect book for the next Hollywood wunderkind."
Joey gazed up at him, her thoughts turning to what had been running through her mind since he'd met her before the party earlier. "So, uh, are you gonna tell me just how well things went with Mr. Kapinos today?" she smirked.
He stared at her. "What makes you think things went well?"
She threw him a look. "Because this is the most relaxed I've seen you in about three weeks, Pacey, that's why. At a party, even. And at Dawson's house." Her face softened. "It was obvious something was weighing you down, something you didn't want to talk to me about. You were in not so great a mood all day, and then you show up at my door before the party, and it's like you suddenly don't have a care in the world."
"Oh, well… yeah, the meeting with Mr. Kapinos was good, I guess. You know, he's a pretty decent guy, I think. It seems like he really does care."
"So, are you finally gonna tell me what's been bothering you?" She swallowed, and lowered her gaze, remembering her conversation with Gretchen at the end of winter break. "Something having to do with Dawson, maybe?"
He sighed heavily. "Well, I guess… I guess it just seemed like you're gonna go off and make something of yourself, and Dawson… well, he didn't earn Yearbook's Most Likely to Succeed for nothin'. And me… I mean, other than being one half of the best couple Capeside High has ever seen and earning Most Likely to End Up in Jail, what do I have goin' for me? I want you to have the life you deserve, Jo. And well… I might have gotten it in my head that I'm not the man who can give you that kind of life, and that could possibly explain my mood over the past few weeks."
"Pacey Witter, do I seem like the kind of girl who needs a man to give me a life?" she sneered, arching her brow with a challenging look.
Feeling chastised, a sheepish smile played about his lips.
Then Joey smiled tenderly, her hands moving up and around his shoulders. "We can give each other one, can't we?" she asked sweetly, her eyes sparkling up at her.
Sighing with content, he rested his forehead against hers. They could give each other a life. They'd start out simple in Boston, and then build what they wanted together. She'd have her classes and he'd get a job. Probably in a restaurant in the city, or maybe he'd find work on a fishing boat and spend his days out on the water. One day he might be able to buy his own boat, or fix one up again. Or maybe he'd climb his way up in the restaurant world. He'd still want that boat, though.
She'd have to stay on campus for her freshman year, but after that she'd be free to find her own housing if she wanted. They could get their own place together in the city near her school. He'd be whatever she needed him to be. And he knew he would eventually marry her because he suddenly hungered for the life that was now forming in his mind.
His reason for living was right here. Holding him in her arms. Velvety brown eyes in his. Long, silky dark brown hair tumbling down over her cream-colored coat. Her face open and bright, the slightest smile on her lips.
"Yes, Jo. We'll give each other one."
Her smile widened and she moved her hand to cradle his neck, pulling him toward her, before claiming his mouth with her own, kissing him with tender passion.
They had each other, and love, and a dream for what came next. Whatever that might turn out to be, it would be what they built together.