I wanna be your vacuum cleaner,
Breathing in your dust.
I wanna be your Ford Cortina,
I will never rust.
Meredith's phone buzzed as she walked into her apartment and she pulled it out to find a message from Derek, having never deleted his number.
Is now too soon?
She bit her lip as her fingers hovered over the keyboard, walking through into her kitchen, her heels tapping against the linoleum floor. She quickly tapped out a message to him, sending him her address. She set her phone down on the counter, grabbing a glass from the cupboard, pouring tequila into it, half-wondering why she didn't just drink it from the bottle.
She kept the dress and heels on, having been told by Derek he would be there in no more than ten minutes. She sat on the couch with the glass in her hand, swirling the liquid around as she tried to not let her anxiety build up over the fact Derek Shepherd would be in her department, someone she never intended on seeing again. And she knew she said that every time, and she would end up seeing him again, but she actively wanted to not have to deal with these feelings again. She thought she was done with him after New York - until she'd seen him again.
If you like your coffee hot,
Let me be your coffee pot.
You call the shots babe,
I just wanna be yours.
The intercom buzzed, and she stood with the glass still in her hand, pressing the button to unlock the front door as she spoke, hoping she hid the shakiness in her voice, "Come up."
She finished the drink, taking the glass to the sink before walking back to the apartment door as a soft knock sounded on it. She opened the door, gently biting her lip as she saw Derek stood there, still in his suit from the evening. His top collar was un-done and he'd clearly loosened his tie, his hair slightly dishevelled as though he's been running her hands through it. Or from when her hands were tangled in it...
She didn't realise she was staring until he spoke, getting her attention, "Hey, can I come in?"
"Oh, yeah," she murmured softly, stepping to the side, and opening the door wider for him to come inside. She shut the door behind him, and turned to look at him, finding his eyes studying her. "Uhm, do you want a drink or anything?"
Secrets I have held in my heart,
Are harder to hide than I thought.
Maybe I just wanna be yours,
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours,
Wanna be yours, wanna be yours, wanna be yours.
He shook his head and her eyes followed the movement of his hand as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I'm okay, I just, I've missed you. So much."
His hand reached for her and she let him pull her into him, his arms moving around her as he held her close and she melted into his hold, her hands resting against his chest. His lips lowered against the top of her head as he held her. Her voice faltered slightly as she spoke again, "I… I miss you too."
As she moved her head to look up at him, their eyes met, and he pressed his lips down against hers in a soft, slow kiss that she didn't hesitate to return. One hand gripped the front lapel of his jacket, the other sliding up into his hair, desperate to feel his soft hair between her fingers. One of his hands gripped at her waist, turning them so he had her pressed against the wall of her hallway, slowly deepening the kiss as his tongue ran along her lower lip, urging her lips to part on his as he longed to taste more of her.
His free hand went up into her hair, cushioning the space between the back of her head and the wall as he moved firmer against her, memories of his first night with her in that same dress almost five years ago flooding back to him. His lips separated from hers as they both gasped for breath, but they never left her skin as he moved to kiss the sweet spot on her neck he remembered as being her weak spot, demonstrated by the soft moan she released as he did so, music to his ears.
Overwhelmed with the sensation of his lips against the soft skin of her neck, his hand gripping her waist, his body pressed up against hers, along with the buzz she was feeling from the tequila, she struggled to maintain her train of thought. His name escaped her lips in a soft gasp as she felt his teeth nipping her skin, and the pool of desire deep within her only grew. His lips moved back to hers with slower kisses this time, as though they were savouring one another. She pulled her hand out his hair and she pushed his jacket of his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as the stepped out of her heels. At the loss of her extra height, his arms slid around her waist to hold her up against him, murmuring against her lips, "We need to talk."
She opened her eyes to look into his as their lips parted, a darkness misting her eyes with the desire she felt for him as she spoke quietly, "I need you."
He breathed out a slight groan as he stepped back, almost as though he was forcing himself back from her, taking off his tie as she leant back against the wall, watching him curiously.
She pushed herself up off the wall, walking through into her bedroom ahead of him as she undid the tie at the back of her dress, not having to look back to know he was following her in, proven by his fingers unzipping the back of her dress as he came up behind her when she stopped at the foot of her bed. She turned as the dress fell off her shoulders and to the floor, her fingers unbuttoning his shirt, not missing the way his eyes looked down at her body, now noticing the black lace body-suit she had been wearing underneath her dress all evening.
"You sure about talking?" She asked, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, letting it join her dress on the floor.
He groaned softly and lifted her up, her legs wrapping loosely around his waist as he moved them over to the bed, laying her beneath him as he attacked her neck with kisses, murmuring softly, "We really, really should... God, you're too tempting."
Her back arched slightly as his hand ran down her side, over the lace, before gently gripping her ass, eliciting a soft moan from her lips. His lips moved back to hers, their breathing ragged with desire for one another as their bodies moved in synchronised motions, perfectly moulded for one another. Her hands moved to unfasten his dress pants, and he didn't stop her, letting her push them down so that he could kick them off the end of the bed. He felt a shiver run along his spine as her fingers played with the waist band of his boxers and he gently nipped her lower lip, tugging ever so slightly before releasing it and pulling back slightly to look at her.
He supported himself with one arm on the mattress as the fingers of his other hand moved back up to her face, stroking over her cheek and jawline with a soft whisper, "You're so beautiful... but we really should talk."
She went to lay her head back on the pillow, but his arm slipped under her, around her waist, gently pulling her half on top of him as he lay on his back. She looked up at him from where her head lay on his chest, one leg hooked over his waist as she spoke softly, "Derek... I can't. Relationships, I can't."
Let me be your 'leccy meter and I'll never run out
And let me be the portable heater that you'll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion (I wanna be)
Hold your hair in deep devotion (how deep?)
At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean
I wanna be yours
His fingers ran through her hair as he spoke, "Meredith, I want you to be mine, I want to be yours."
"But we're on opposite sides of the country, and my mother..." her voice trailed off.
"She's only my chief for the next year. And we can do long distance, I know we can," his fingers continued to play with her hair as he spoke, pleading with her to see his side of things.
"That's not what I mean," she sighed softly as she sat up, pulling the sheet up as she did, "I've always been told from a young age, to focus on my career, don't get distracted by boys and relationships, succeed in my career, that's the priority. That's what's important."
He sat up beside her, his arm still around her as he pulled her against him, her face turning to bury against his shoulder. He lowered his lips to press a kiss against the top of her head, "I understand. I know your career is important, the way you're so driven in your career is one of the things I love about you. I want you in my life though. Now, in the future, I want you there with me, I want to be there with you."
"I want you, too. Seeing you with someone else," a shiver ran down her spine as she thought about it, but she was quickly warmed again by his hold around her, "I felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the chest."
He placed two fingers under her chin and lifted her head to look up at him, a sadness in his eyes at her words and he spoke quietly, "I'm sorry."
"I know you had no obligation to... I just, why didn't you wait? You said that you'd wait?" Her voice went quite as she spoke with nervousness, not sure she should have even asked in the first place.
"I guess I just convinced myself we wouldn't meet after it had been a year, and my dad was sick and he wanted to see me happy," he shook his head a little at the thought, "it all seems so stupid now. He knew I wasn't happy anyway, not without you."
"He said you'd talked about me…" she said with a playful smirk, "Apparently you couldn't stop speaking about me."
Derek's brow furrowed, "You spoke to my Dad, when?"
She laughed softly and her hand lifted to run her fingers over his stubble, "I know your dad, and I've met your mother before," she shrugged a little.
"That explains a lot…" he murmured softly, seemingly in thought as she watched him, "What about the General Surgery fellow?"
She shook her head a little, "That looked like more than it ever was, or it was ever going to be. That was my mother trying to set me up, which didn't even make sense, considering she made me swear off relationships."
His brow furrowed as he seemed to think about this, as though he had more information about this than she might, but she didn't want to dwell on the subject.
Her hand cupped his cheek as she kissed his lips softly, pulling him out of his thoughts. She pressed another kiss to his cheek as she moved onto her knees a little, his arm loosely around her waist, and she spoke softly, "I believe we were in the middle of something?"
"I believe we were," he said with a throaty chuckle. He pressed his lips to hers again in a gentle kiss that slowly increased in intensity, Derek laying back as she manoeuvred on top of him, straddling his hips as his hands moved up her back.
"I want you to be mine," she murmured softly as she pressed kisses against his neck.
"I'm all yours if you'll have me," his fingers weaved through her hair as he spoke, gently pulling her lips back to his.
"When do you go back to New York?" she spoke between kisses against his lips.
"Tomorrow evening. Are you in the hospital in the morning?" He pulled back a little to look into her eyes.
She nodded a little, "I'm due in at 10, 24-hour shift on call. What time is your flight?"
"8pm, not too late a flight, we can go to breakfast and then I'll come to the hospital with you tomorrow until I have to leave. You can show me some more of that amazing skill you possess," he chuckled softly, playing with her fingers as he spoke.
She rolled her eyes at him playfully before pressing a kiss to his lips, her eyes catching the time on the clock beside her bed, "We should probably get some sleep then."
"Hmm, we should," he groaned softly as his lips attacked her neck with kisses, moving them so that he was now on top of her, "But I really have missed you, baby."
She laughed softly as her head fell back against the pillows with him on top of her, her back arching as she felt his lips travel down between the valley of her breasts still barely covered by the lace lingerie she wore. She bit her lip as he pulled the straps over her shoulders and down her arms, murmuring softly against her skin, "As much as I love this, it's time for it to come off."
Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she moaned softly, the touch of his lips kissing over her hardening nipples sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body as he pulled the lingerie down to her hips. His lips moved further down her abdomen as he pushed the fabric down off her legs, and her fingers entwined into his hair with a gentle grip.
His every touch would send the same shockwaves through her, heating up her skin with each movement, each warm caress of his lips against her sensitive skin building her up more and more each time, his movements become faster and more insistent, intent on giving her as much pleasure as he was able to. It didn't take long for her climax to hit, and she was still feeling the after effects of his actions as he moved his lips back up to hers, allowing her to taster herself on his lips, his tongue pushing slightly against hers.
A sudden urge came over her as the waves from her climax faded, and she moved them so that she was on top again, ready to reciprocate his actions to give him the same, if not more, pleasure than he had given her. She basked in the groans she elicited from deep in his chest as she pleasured him, savouring his taste that she had missed for so long.
Meredith may not have been very good with words, but she found actions to be just as affirming, if not more. Expressing how she felt into her actions was the best way she found to express herself, and she was ready to show Derek exactly how she felt about him, even if she did struggle to say the words right now. As Derek's climax hit him, she moved back up his body, needing to feel him inside her, to make that connection once more, the way they fit so perfectly together as though they were made for one another.
Derek took charge again this time, swapping their positions, moving himself over her with the same need and desire she held for him, demonstrated by his hot, needy kisses against her lip, and down her neck. Soon enough, he was ready for her and didn't waste any time in reconnecting himself with her in the most intimate way possible, earning a small gasp of his name from Meredith.
They moved together slowly at first, her hips moving upwards to meet each of his movements, her fingers tangled into his hair again as she kept him close against her, unable to keep their lips off each other, whether against the other lips or her face buried against his neck, the connection was never broken.
As they reached their mutual climax, clinging on to one another with heavy breathing and soft moans, Meredith could feel the surge of desire and need inside her and was more sure than she'd ever been in her feelings for him, especially after denying them for so long and pushing them down, refusing to deal with them.
He rolled off her, but didn't break their contact, pulling her on top his chest with his arms around her, holding her there. His lips moved to the top of her head with soft kisses, murmuring, "I love you, Meredith."
She looked up at him, the emotion she felt clear in her eyes and seeing it reciprocated in his, slightly breathless still as she spoke, "I love you too."
Secrets I have held in my heart,
Are harder to hide than I thought.
Maybe I just wanna be yours,
I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours.
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys.