April 18. On Wednesday afternoon at the Cape Cod Mall, Pacey walked into the men's formal wear shop with Will Krudski, Dawson and Jack coming in through the door behind them. He glanced down at his T-shirt and sneakers, and turned to Will. "They'll probably think I'm the delivery guy," he snarked, and his friend laughed.
While there were several other customers in the store, they were quickly approached by a nicely-dressed sales associate. "Paul Robertson, welcome to Men's Wearhouse. Is there something I can show you?"
"Yeah, actually," Pacey replied. "We're here to be measured for tuxes."
"Getting married?" The guy smiled, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
The boys laughed. "Uh, no, I should think not," Dawson said. "But we should have a one o'clock appointment."
"Oh, yes. Tuxedo rentals for the Capeside senior prom. We'll take good care of you." Paul looked them over. "If I recall, there were only three appointments on the calendar?"
Pacey glanced at Will. "Uh, yeah… is it all right if we add a fourth?"
The associate smiled. "Sure. No problem." Then he started leading them over to the tuxedo section. "If I recall correctly, Capeside's proms are later in the season. Is that right?"
"Yeah, it's the first Saturday in June," Jack answered as they moved through the store. "Well, the senior prom. The junior prom is the weekend before."
"Well, you're in luck because no other proms are occurring that weekend on the Cape. So, you should have your pick of rentals." The sales associate paused a moment. "Of course, we're also heading into wedding season at that point, but I'm sure you'll have plenty of selection."
Once they reached the tuxedo section, Paul began to take all their measurements: neck size, waist, inseam, and arm length. After writing down their information, he started pulling different tuxedos for them to try on. Pacey quickly found one he liked, settling on a classic black tuxedo with a black vest and bowtie.
He stood in front of the floor length mirror in one of the large dressing rooms with Will. "Maybe I should get fitted for a suit while I'm here. You know, so I can look like I might actually belong there next to Joey when we visit Worthington at the end of the month."
"They having a thing for new admissions?" his friend asked.
"Yeah."
"I gotta campus visit at Boston College myself coming up. I'm doing their Eagle for a Day program. I'll shadow a student and go to their classes with 'em. Why do you need a suit?"
"Well, Worthington is a classy place and they hold classy get-togethers with their classy faculty and alumni and all the trust fund babies they've got going there. There's bound to be a fancy shindig during Admit Weekend."
Pacey gazed over his reflection, smiling at the tuxedo. "I think this is the one."
"You haven't tried on that many," Will replied as he fastened a white backless tuxedo vest around his waist.
"I don't need anything fancy. As long as it fits and I look half-way decent next to Joey, I'm happy."
Will smiled and shrugged on the white tuxedo jacket. "Well, maybe if you try on some of the expensive designer brands, you might get voted Prom King."
He scoffed. "Please. I'm ninety-nine percent positive Chris Wolfe is gonna get the crown. You see, it's a prerequisite for the Capeside High Prom Court to be made up of rich assholes."
"Um… Pace, when are you gonna accept that your family isn't exactly poor?"
"Are you saying I'm an asshole, Krudski?"
Will laughed.
"The Witters aren't rich either, certainly not compared to a lot of other families in town. Anyway, who cares about that crap? I just want to make it a perfect night for Joey. I'm sure she'd feel mortified to stand on full display in front of everyone with a sparkly crown on her head."
"I'm sure you'll make it a perfect night for Joey."
He stared at his reflection and eyed the black tuxedo he wore, his mouth curving into a frown as that same uneasy feeling he'd been fighting off since Sunday night came over him. "I hope so."
His friend caught his gaze in the mirror. "You all right, Pacey?"
"Oh, you know me. Things in my life are almost perfect right now, so something's bound to go wrong, right?"
"You're probably just anxious about high school being nearly over and the fact the rest of your life is about to start."
"Maybe, but I just feel like there's a cloud of impending doom over my head."
"And how long have you felt like that?"
He let out a grim laugh. "Well, I kinda always feel like that. Things get really good, and then… something shitty inevitably happens. It's the nature of being Pacey J. Witter. But I don't know… I guess I've been feeling it more strongly the past few days. I mean, I'm a perpetual screw up. I'm gonna screw something up. I know it."
Will took off the tuxedo jacket and nodded. "Hmm. So, uh, you've seen your dad lately, I take it?"
"I haven't seen him since last month. Gretchen went to the house for Easter, and… well, she basically warned me that my dad was too petty to just let me leave Capeside without a fight, or that he'd at least do what he could to make it hard for me to go. He got Doug to stick around, and he's now a Capesider for life. He ain't going anywhere, which is exactly what my dad wanted. He was born in this town, he's gonna die in this town. Just like my father. Carrie and Amy only escaped by getting married to guys in the military. That was the best they could possibly aspire to as far as my parents were concerned.
"Gretchen… other than Doug, I think she was the one kid they wanted to brag about—the popular, well-behaved good girl who got into a good college. I think they were just hoping she'd meet a guy when she was finished with school and get married and settle down. Even better if the guy is police or military. I don't think they had any intentions of her actually becoming some sort of career woman.
"Me, though? The black sheep of the family? What right do I have to go out into the world and make something of myself? To show them all up? I refused to fit inside the box my father tried to beat me into."
"But what can he do? Chain you in the basement to keep you in Capeside?"
Pacey shrugged, unsure how to really explain the uneasy feeling. "I don't know. He can't make me fail my classes. I know I'm graduating. He can't prevent that."
Grinning, Will removed the white vest. "Are you sure? I mean, maybe he has some dirt on your principal. Unless you don't think the good sheriff is capable of blackmail?" he joked.
"Well, he has been the sheriff for over twenty years, and most of the time he's run unopposed, so… you never know," he smirked. A moment later he frowned. "Then of course there's also Dawson, who's foaming at the mouth for me to give him a window of opportunity."
Will looked at him in confusion. "An opportunity for what?"
"To move in on Joey. To get her back."
"Does Joey want to go back to Dawson?"
He blinked, pausing a moment. "Well, no, but… I mean, if I screw up badly enough, then maybe it'll make her think that she made a huge mistake and should've chosen Dawson instead. You know, he's the reliable one. He never screws up."
"I think nearly killing us last year in the regatta was a huge fuck up, if you ask me."
Pacey laughed breathlessly, but then a stab of fear twisted his insides. "I guess I'm just… so close to the finish line, I'm so close to finally escaping this place… and I'm afraid something's gonna go wrong and take it all away from me because that's what always happens. The opposite of the Midas Touch? Well, whatever that is, I've got it."
"The Sadim Touch."
"What?"
Will smirked. "The opposite of the Midas Touch. Instead of everything you touch turning to gold, with the Sadim Touch, you ruin everything."
"Did you learn that at boarding school? That thirty-grand-a-year tuition obviously paid for something."
His friend broke out into a hearty chuckle. "It's a made-up word. It's just Midas spelled backwards. You'll be fine, Pace. You'll be out of Capeside before you know it. Focus on the good. Don't worry about the sky falling until it hits you on the head."
"But if I don't worry about it, then I'll never have time to duck."
"Duck schmuck, you'll give yourself an ulcer."
Laughing, Pacey once again turned his attention to his reflection in the mirror, looking over his black tuxedo. He smiled and tried to focus on the good. He thought ahead to the senior prom, to graduation, and the whole summer he would have with Joey before they headed off to their exciting new life together in Boston. He'd waited so long to get to this point in his life, and he was almost free. It was natural to feel a bit paranoid after everything he'd gone through. Maybe he was worrying for nothing. Perhaps everything would turn out all right, exactly like they'd hoped and planned for. Yet somehow, he doubted it.
Joey wandered around the prom dress section of Macy's, helping Jen search for a dress. On the other side of the mall, Pacey was getting measured for his tuxedo along with Dawson, Jack, and Will. She wondered what kind of tux her boyfriend would get. She imagined what he'd look like dressed in a sharp black suit and tie, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.
"You know, I'm not really even looking for the perfect prom dress," Jen complained as she circled another rack. "I'm honestly just looking for any old dress that I don't hate. Is that too much to ask?"
"I don't know how much help I'll be," Joey replied. "I spent most of my life hating dresses of all kinds."
After pulling a satiny emerald green dress from the rack, she scowled and put it back. "The good news is that most of these dresses aren't expensive, but most of them are too short or too long, too puffy or too flat. I'm not supermodel tall, like you. I don't have the figure for a lot of these styles. And do you think it's too much to hope for a dress that has pockets? I'd be so much more comfortable if I had somewhere to stick my hands when I don't know what to do with them."
Joey laughed. "We'll find something, don't worry."
They'd already been at the mall for two hours and had been in several stores before ending up in Macy's. A few minutes later, Jen laid eyes on a strapless black dress with a ruffled embellishment in hot pink tulle on the bodice, and pulled it from the rack. Once she'd put it on in the dressing room, she stepped out to show Joey.
"Wow, Jen. You look great."
"Thanks." She turned and looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror. "Well… I don't hate it."
"Come on. You gotta be feeling something more than that. You look incredible."
"Okay… maybe I like it."
Joey smiled and arched her brows, their gaze meeting in the mirror.
"I mean, it'd be worth the money. I definitely could wear it again."
"It's a great party dress."
Jen blushed, smiling, and turned from the mirror. "Uh… Joey. I was kinda thinking… you know, since neither of us have dates yet—and while I'd hoped that fact would make him extend the offer—well, I thought that I'd ask… Dawson… to the prom. What do you think?"
She didn't know why her friend seemed nervous. "What do you mean? It doesn't matter what I think. You can ask whoever you want."
"I know that, Joey. I just… don't want things to get weird if Dawson ends up being my date."
"Weird how?"
"Between you and me."
She scoffed, shaking her head. "Jen, nothing could make things weird between us."
Her friend gave her challenging look. "Yeah, what about junior year and that pact I made with Pacey? You barely said two words to me for like a week after that."
"Well, that was different."
"How was that different?"
"Pacey and sex were involved. Things would never be weird between us because of Dawson, I assure you. A lot's changed since sophomore year."
Jen took a deep breath. "Yeah, you're right. It's just that… I've never really had a girl… friend before. I guess Abby sort of was my friend, but I also hated her at the same time. So, I haven't really had a real one until now, and I don't wanna mess it up by doing something stupid, which is what usually happens. I don't have a good track record with keeping female friends."
"I'm happy to be your first real female friend, but I can guarantee I won't be the last. I imagine you'll make great friends once you get to college and put all this messy high school stuff behind you." She pursed her lips. "And speaking of college… have you and Jack settled on where you want to go?"
Her hands to her hips and she frowned. "He's still pushing for New York. I want to go to Boston. Not sure which one of us is going to cave."
Joey nodded and watched as Jen turned back to look at herself in the mirror again. "Well, you still have some time to decide."
"True. But before college, comes prom. Dawson will be a good date. He's the perfect gentleman. He won't step on my toes on the dance floor. I won't have to worry about winding up in some sort of date rape scenario at the after-party, or worry about him puking all over my dress in the limo. So, honestly, it's a win-win."
"You're right. He would be a good date."
"Do you think he'll say yes?"
She looked at her friend with surprise. "Why would he say no?"
Jen shrugged. "Well, maybe he has someone else in mind. I mean, when it comes to prom, guys really only care about what happens after. So, maybe Dawson would rather have a date that would actually give him a good chance at getting laid."
"And that's not you." Joey laughed.
"Would it bother you?"
She stared at her. "If you had sex with Dawson?"
"Yeah. Would it?"
Pursing her lips, she thought about it for a second, pictured Dawson and Jen at prom together, even imagined them kissing on the dance floor, the limo taking them to the hotel where the after-party was being thrown. She felt nothing. "Nope."
"Not even a little bit?"
"Not even a little bit," Joey confirmed.
Jen turned and looked at her reflection in the mirror again, her gaze running up and down the black strapless dress. "You know, every single guy I've dated since I dumped Dawson has been a total disaster."
"Hmm." She walked over to stand next her and looked at her in the mirror. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have dumped him."
With a slightly stunned expression, Jen turned to look her full in the face. "If someone had told me two years ago that you and I would be having this conversation, I would've called them a lunatic," she said, and Joey laughed. "But you're wrong. What happened was what should've happened. Dawson and I are really good friends, and he trusts me, which is way more than I thought I deserved at the time. I was a mess back then, and I wouldn't have been good for him."
She wrapped her arm around her shoulder and smiled. "Well… you're not a mess now."
Frowning, Jen sighed heavily. "I wish that were true, Joey."
To her surprise, she saw tears fill her eyes. "Is this about New York? About why you're so determined not to go to college there?"
"I… I think there's something I need to do in New York, but… I really don't want to do it. I keep coming up with excuses to put it off. I didn't want to spend my spring break feeling miserable, or I don't want to ruin prom, for example. I don't want to… do this thing I need to do… and then the experience turns out awful, and it completely ruins the rest of my senior year. And seeing as how last year's prom was… really not great… I'd like to make up for it with this one."
She felt confused. "Is this thing you need to do in New York something that will help you decide whether or not you go to college there?"
"Not really. I know in my heart that I'm not ready to to commit myself to spending the next four years of my life there. I know I want to be in Boston. I just need to convince Jack to want the same thing. It's just… there's something I have to face back home, and I don't want to start a new chapter in my life without getting some sort of closure on this one."
"So… this thing you need to do, can it wait until after prom? Is there a rush?"
She sighed. "No, there's no rush. New York isn't going anywhere."
"Well, then you make a decision and you stick to it. You can pick a date, circle it on your calendar, and then just go."
Jen turned and looked at herself in the mirror. "You know what? I can make decisions, despite what Jack says. Okay. You know what? I'm gonna buy this dress because you're right: I look great. And I'm gonna have fun at prom, no matter what, even if I don't have a date." She thought for a moment and then glanced at Joey. "But, um… the Monday after prom?"
Joey smirked. "Ditch Day?"
"Yeah. Ditch Day. You got plans?"
"No. I wasn't gonna ditch. I was just gonna go to school."
Her friend's mouth fell open. "Not ditch? Why? Joey, you have to ditch in the spirit of senior solidarity. You've got nothing to lose by skipping one day. There won't be anything happening in our classes that day except reviewing for finals. Besides, do our finals this year really mean all that much, anyway? I mean, we're all graduating and going to college, regardless."
Shrugging, Joey tilted her head from side to side. "I know, but Pacey can't really ditch because his classes and finals do mean something. He's worked so hard and he doesn't want to blow it this late in the year. He seems to think something terrible is going to happen."
"Really?" Jen said, giving her a confused look.
"Yeah, Pacey thinks he's cursed. His birthday is cursed, he's got the opposite of the Midas Touch, all the other shoes are going to drop on his head, etc. etc. I keep telling him that's ridiculous, but he claims to have a lifetime of proof that things are bound to go sideways whenever anything good is happening to him."
Her friend thought for a moment. "Well, don't forget his precious sailboat did sink back in the fall… he failed three classes last year… his ex-girlfriend had to leave town to go to a psychiatric hospital and then she cheated on him with another psych patient… and pretty much the whole town found out about Ms. Jacobs and she was forced to leave Capeside…"
Joey frowned, her brows knitting with worry. "Do you really think he could be cursed?"
Scoffing, Jen shook her head. "Of course, not. That's silly. He's just… had a run of bad luck."
"Isn't that the same thing as cursed?"
"Um… hmm."
The look on Jen's face wasn't reassuring. "I think it's Capeside. Living there makes you feel trapped, Pacey especially. It makes you feel like you're destined to end up stuck there and you'll never get out no matter how hard you try. As soon he puts the Cape in his rearview mirror, he'll be fine. So, anyway, I thought I'd just go to school on Ditch Day, too. That way Pacey wouldn't be there on his own. What would I even do on Ditch Day other than hang around the house waiting for him to get out of school?"
"Well… I might have an idea," Jen said, eyeing her. "How does a trip to New York sound? Just me and you?"
Joey stared for a moment, feeling surprised and intrigued. Why wouldn't she bring Jack with her? But then her mouth curved into a smile. "I'd love to go to New York."
After Jen changed back into her clothes and purchased the dress for prom, they left Macy's and made for the food court. They found the guys there waiting for them. Joey caught Pacey's gaze and they smiled. When she reached him, he pulled her into a hug and she kissed him on the cheek.
"So, did you find a tux?"
"Yes, I did, and I got everything you instructed me to get, including the Kelly green cumberbund and matching bowtie."
She stared at his smirking face, and smacked his arm playfully. "Kelly green, my ass. You better be joking, Pacey Witter."
With a growling laugh, he gathered her in his arms. "What? You don't think it'll look good?"
"Yeah, maybe in 1980."
"He looked very sharp in his black tuxedo, Joey," Will assured her. "There was nothing green anywhere in sight. I promise."
Pacey grinned. "Except Will himself. He was green with envy at how good I looked."
The two friends laughed, and Joey rolled her eyes. They turned as Dawson, Jack, and Jen broke their conversation and stepped closer. "We're starving," Dawson said. "Ready to grab something to eat?"
After telling her boyfriend what she wanted, Joey took Jen's shopping bag to hold for her, and went to find two tables seated together while the others went to stand in line in front of their chosen restaurant counters. A few minutes later, Dawson arrived first and sat himself at the table next to her as he set his tray with two slices of pizza down in front of him. While he took a drink of his soda, she glanced at the shopping bag beside her in the seat across from him and then looked over to see Jack and Jen still waiting in line at the Chinese place.
"So, Dawson, do you have a date for prom yet?"
His brows furrowed and he laughed. "No. It's still, like, six weeks away, Joey. I was thinking about going stag, anyway."
"Stag? To your senior prom? Come on, Dawson. There's gotta be someone you'd like to ask to be your date."
He stared at her for a second and swallowed, before picking up a slice of pizza and giving her a casual shrug. "Well, the girl I'd always dreamed about going to prom with just so happens to be going with my former best friend. I guess I'm outta luck as my dreams have been shattered."
She pursed her lips and threw him a sarcastic look. "Funny. You're still riding with us in the limo, aren't you?"
"Of course," he said after he'd finished chewing. "I told Jack and Pacey that we'd split the limo cost between us."
"I'm sure there are plenty of girls who'd love you to ask them to prom."
"I'd briefly considered asking Gretchen."
She balked. "Dawson, no twenty-one-year-old woman in her right mind would want to be caught dead at a high school prom."
He chuckled and nodded his agreement. "I said I had briefly considered it. There's no way she'd say yes."
"Can't you think of any other girls who you'd like to be your date?"
"Like I said, she's already spoken for." He grinned and took another bite.
"Quit joking, Dawson." She glanced over at the Chinese restaurant and saw her friends still in line. "I bet Jen would love to go to prom with you."
He looked at her in surprise. "Well, sure, I'd love to go with Jen. I know we'd have a great time. But isn't she going with Jack?"
"I… don't think so. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Jack ended up bringing his new friend Tobey. I'm pretty sure there's something going on there, and the harder Jack denies there's anything going on, the more I believe it. Anyway, I'm sure Jen would like a real date to the prom, and I know she'd say yes if you asked her. Why go stag when you can go with a beautiful blonde?"
"If someone had told me sophomore year that you and I would ever be having this conversation about Jen Lindley, I would've laughed in their face."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said dismissively. "I've seen her in her prom dress and I'm not exaggerating when I say she's a total knockout. You should ask her."
"Do you really want me to ask Jen to prom? And do you really think she'd say yes?"
Her brows knitted as she took in his suddenly serious expression. "Yes, I do, to both questions."
"Okay, then. I'll ask her."
"Good. Oh, and Dawson?" She watched his brows rise expectantly. "Don't be lame and ask her here in the food court in front of all of us. Do it nicely."
He laughed. "I'm always nice, Joey."
"I know you are," she smiled.
"I'll make it special. I promise. I know she's had a rough few months. Since the ski trip, she's been a lot more cynical and pessimistic than usual."
"I think the therapy might be helping, at least that's what Jack says. She doesn't say too much about it… to me, at least."
He nodded and then took another bite of pizza. "Speaking of someone in need of therapy," he said before taking a sip from his soda. "How's Pacey doing?"
She pulled a sarcastic face. "You could ask him yourself, Dawson. You know, be a friend. You do remember what it was like to be Pacey's best friend, don't you?"
"I do. I also remember some other things… rather vividly."
She rolled her eyes. "You're being kinda annoying today. Did you know that?"
"Well, I do now," he grinned.
"Why don't you ask him to go fishing with you or something? You haven't hung out in a while."
"Is Pacey your charity project now?"
Her face hardened. "No, I'm saying he needs his best friend."
"He doesn't need me, Joey. He has you. He obviously has Will Krudski. He has Gretchen. I've got nothing against the guy, honest. I'm not holding any grudge. I just think things are good right now the way they are. We can all hang out together and get along just fine, but we don't feel the need for any one-on-one time. There are just some things you naturally grow out of, people you grow apart from. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just life. It's called growing up. Besides, he's doing just fine without me."
"Dawson, if you believe Pacey doesn't need you in his life, and that you don't need him, you've deluded yourself."
Suddenly Jen and Jack appeared and took the two seats across from Dawson, bringing an end to the conversation. Seconds later, Pacey and Will joined them with trays of sub sandwiches. Joey smiled as her boyfriend handed her a sandwich and some napkins, and she grabbed her drink from his tray. Then the friends sat together eating and talking and laughing as people came and went from the tables around them.
"So, Will, you guys got big plans for the rest of the week?" Jack said.
"Uh…" he glanced at Pacey. "Not really. We're renting a sailboat and going fishing tomorrow. We thought about going to the movies on Friday, but they all suck. Nothing's good."
"Hey, I said we could go see Freddy Got Fingered for shits and giggles," Pacey snarked.
Will stared at him. "That's two hours of my life I'd never get back." He turned his attention back to Jack. "And then I'm getting the train to New Raleigh on Saturday morning."
"But we're going fishing tomorrow, that's what's important."
Joey looked across the other table at Dawson and gave him a pointed look. "Fishing sounds like fun."
"Does it?" Pacey replied, amused. "You wanna come out on the boat with us?"
"And invade your boys' time? No, sweetheart."
Dawson's eyes narrowed at her, and he took a deep breath as he looked away. "Would you guys like a third for fishing?"
Joey beamed a triumphant look of approval at him, and his gaze softened towards her, a hint of a smile playing about his mouth.
Eyes wide, Pacey hadn't expected that. The last time he and Dawson went fishing was back in January before his birthday, and the last thing he ever expected was for Dawson to want to spend any more time with him than was necessary. He also wasn't sure if he wanted Dawson to encroach on their plans. He looked at his girlfriend, her brows arching at him, and knew she wanted him to accept the offer.
He glanced at Will, who shrugged, and then turned to his former best friend. "Uh, yeah… sure, man. You can meet us over at Capeside Sailboat Rentals on Ridgevale Road at noon. Or we can pick you up? Your house is on the way."
Will smirked at Dawson. "You're not gonna try to kill us again, are you?"
Pacey burst into laughter. "Hey, I like this guy," he said, patting his friend's shoulder. "We should keep him around."
Joey chewed her bottom lip and her chest shook with silent laughter while Jen and Jack giggled next to her as Dawson rolled his eyes. "I don't plan on any attempted murders, so nothing to worry about," he deadpanned.
"Well, that's comforting," Pacey said.
"You wanna come fishing with us, too, Jack?" Will asked.
"I can't think of anything I'd rather not do than go fishing."
"I was thinking of going to see Bridget Jones's Diary on Friday," Jen said to Joey. "Jack's being lame and won't go with me. You wanna come? Or do you have to work?"
Smiling, she nodded. "Sure. I gotta work, but I get out at six."
Pacey shook his head. "I think I'd rather see Freddy Got Fingered than that drivel." Joey and Jen both stared at him, unamused, and he laughed along with Will, Jack, and Dawson.
On Friday night, Joey walked out of the Rialto with Jen to find Pacey out front, leaning against the Jeep Wagoneer, his mouth curving into a smile. Just the sight of him sent butterflies through her stomach. Her brows knitted as she came towards him and she gazed at him questioningly, not having expected him to be there waiting for her. When she reached him, she eagerly slid into his embrace and welcomed the warm lips that sought hers.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she pulled out of the kiss.
"I'm here to take you off Jen's hands," he replied with a smirk. Then he looked over at their friend. "Do you mind if I give Joey a ride, or did you have plans?"
Jen shook her head and shrugged. "No, we were just heading home." She smiled at Joey. "Thanks for coming to the movies with me."
"Sure. I had a good time."
The two girls said their goodbyes, and then Pacey opened the passenger side door, closing it behind his girlfriend after she slid into the seat. "So, where are we going?" she asked as she buckled her seatbelt.
"Back to my house. Gretchen is working, so we have the place to ourselves for a while."
"And what's Will up to?"
"I dropped him off at Jack's house a couple hours ago. I think they were supposed to be getting on an instant messenger thing with Andie. Or maybe they were calling her? I don't know. They were doing something on the computer."
Joey laughed, shaking her head. "When are you going to embrace modern technology?"
He threw her a look as he pulled away from the curb. "When are you going to take those Terminator movies to heart? The machines will end up killing us, Jo. I'm tellin' ya."
"You could at least get an email address."
"Who would I even write to?"
"Well, when we're in Boston and your siblings are elsewhere and Dawson is out in California, I think you'll find email will come in handy."
He made a non-committal noise. "Anyway, that Tobey guy was coming over to Jack's house tonight and they were gonna order pizza and watch movies and hang out. I think Jack wanted a buffer, and so that's where Will came in." His hand left the steering wheel and grasped hers, threading their fingers. "So, we get to have some alone time for a few hours."
It wasn't long before Pacey was leading her upstairs to his bedroom. One dim light teased out images of a chest of drawers, a nightstand, a closet, the old weathered trunk at the end of the bed covered with Will's clothes. "I changed the sheets," he murmured against her mouth as she opened to kiss him.
"Good boy," she chuckled. "We'll have to change them afterwards, too."
"Definitely."
They undressed each other slowly, savoring each glimpse of each other's skin. Naked, Joey reached for his stiff cock and held it, stroking the thick length of him as they walked together to the bed. He brushed her lips with his as she reached down to pull the covers back. They slid between the sheets, and after kissing hungrily for several minutes, he reached into the drawer on the bedside stand to pull out a condom. Gently, his fingers slid into her damp feminine hair, languidly playing with her soft curls. Her body began to quiver feverishly as his fingers sunk further into her sensitive flesh, stroking her with purpose until she cried out in orgasmic release.
Then he shifted and entered her, both of them ready—she was soft and wet and oh, so warm and incredibly tight, and he was rock-hard and throbbing—but there was no rush. They held each other, enjoying the feel of each other's bodies, unmoving as long as they could stand it, and then gave to each other all the passion and tenderness they could find in themselves.
With no need to be quiet, neither of them held back, and the small bedroom was soon filled with the deliciously loud sounds of their lovemaking. After collapsing against each other, breathing heavily, hearts pounding, Pacey turned on his side, pulling her against him, their bodies still connected.
A flash of mischief tugged at her mouth, and Joey carefully removed the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the trashcan beside the bed. He was still erect, and she slipped him back inside her as she threw her leg over his hip and held him tight. They were finally skin to skin, and it felt so good, so right. She reveled in the pleasurable sensations still sparking inside her.
Pacey pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes as he let out a sharp, shuddering gasp. It was unlike anything he'd felt before. She felt so warm around him. So soft. She felt incredible. A little too incredible and he felt himself twitch, although he was doing his best to remain perfectly still.
"You feel so good, Pacey."
His jaw clenched. "You're still asking for trouble, Potter."
"What?" she said innocently, yet was unable to stop herself from smirking. "First of all, I'm on the Pill, remember? And second of all, we've finished."
Technically, sure, but they could easily start all over again and get carried away with lust if he wasn't careful. It'd be just like him to make one stupid mistake and have it ruin everything. The Sadim Touch. Pushing the gloomy thought away, he gazed at her and brushed a strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind an ear.
"You're stunning, Jo," he said quite seriously. "Do you have any idea what you look like when you come?"
She laughed, and then moaned as the motion sent off a spark of pleasure at her overstimulated core. "I generally don't look in a mirror when I come, so, no I have no idea," she snarked, realizing how hard he was trying to keep control. She lifted a hand and caressed his cheek. "But I always enjoy seeing what you look like."
"You've ruined me for all other women," he cracked. "Especially beautiful ones with long legs and dark hair, who are full of sweetness and sarcasm in equal measure."
"Good. Because you're all mine and I'm never gonna share for as long as I live."
His face lit up and he beamed at her, the gloom all but forgotten. He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers, watching her nose crinkle as his softening cock finally slipped out of her.
"I love it when you smile like that," she said.
"What am I smiling like?"
"Like you're six years old and someone just told you Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny really exist."
He kissed her again, trailing his lips up her jaw to press a final caress in front of her ear. "Even better. Someone just told me that I get to keep you forever."
Joey pressed her lips to his, and then tucked herself against his chest as he pulled her tighter against him. She breathed in his scent, and relaxed into the comfort of his warm embrace. She wanted nothing more than to spend the night, just like this. She smiled as she remembered something from earlier.
"Oh, Dawson said he had a good time fishing with you guys yesterday," she told him. "He enjoyed being out on the sailboat."
"Yeah, he caught a few fish." Yesterday afternoon had been somewhat awkward, with long stretches of tense quiet between himself and Dawson that Will obviously had no clue how to relieve until he brought up the subject of their plans for the fall. He had no idea why Dawson had even wanted to come along, unless it was just to make Joey happy that they were playing friends. "He had a nice time with Will. They talked nonstop about USC and Boston College."
That niggling sense of guilt, never far from the surface after they made love, smashed into Joey in a way she couldn't easily bury. It wasn't fair. Every single one of his friends were going off to college, would all likely have degrees in four years, were giving themselves a real starting chance to do something remarkable with their lives. He was throwing away his own opportunity and all for her. And the money…
Guilt over his money was starting to eat away at her, no matter how many times she told herself that she'd eventually pay him back and that she'd do whatever she could to support him in Boston, to give him a good life there, help him navigate the city and carve out his own place in it. The guilty feeling was especially suffocating in moments like these. She didn't feel guilty about her reasons for accepting his generous offer, nor did she feel guilty over the life they were planning together in Boston. But whenever they were physically intimate, the weight of the money became a heavy burden in her heart, leaving her with a sickening feeling that she was using him.
Which she wasn't, she told herself. Of course, she wasn't. She hadn't asked for the money, and she hadn't wanted to take it. He'd insisted on it. Yet uncertainty filled her mind. She closed her eyes and wished they could just stay like this forever. Wished they weren't hurtling towards a future that was full of the great unknown. Wished they didn't have to get out of this bed, and they could just stay here and forget the world.
Pacey stroked her cheek. "What are you thinking?"
She told him her last thought, truthfully. "That I wish we could stay here all night, that we didn't have to get out of bed and clean up before Will comes back."
"Yeah, me too. Well, speaking of which, I suppose I should drop you off home before I go pick him up. He leaves in the morning, and Gretchen happens to be going up to Boston to stay with some friends. Do you wanna spend the weekend here? Make the most of our remaining spring break before we go back to school?"
"I'd like that." She smiled as she searched his face, his loving gaze soft and tender, and she kissed him one last time before they got up and got dressed.
April 23. On Monday after the final bell rang, Pacey loaded up his backpack with books and notebooks, preparing for a long afternoon of homework, before shutting his locker and walking down the hall. He found his girlfriend standing there with her locker open. She smiled when she saw him, and turning to him, lifted her face for a kiss.
"How was your day, sweetheart?" he asked her.
"Eh, it was okay for a Monday. Of course, the teachers are exacting revenge for the school giving us a week off. You should see the pile of homework I have to do tonight."
"Yeah, me too. Did you notice Drue Valentine is back in school?"
"I did. He was actually nice to me in AP English, which was surprising. He apologized for his mother firing me, and I told him that you'd already relayed the message a while ago. He said he still wanted to apologize to my face in person. It seemed like he meant it. I wasn't expecting that. Do you think he's turned a new leaf after being banned from school for two months?"
He arched a skeptical brow. "Uh… I'd have to see further proof to believe that."
Suddenly Jen was standing there. "Hey guys."
"Hey," they said in unison.
"Um… guess what?"
"What?" Joey replied, smiling.
"Dawson just asked me to prom."
Her face broke out in a wide smile. "That's great. Did you say yes?"
"Of course, I said yes. No one else has asked me." Then she pulled a face and lowered her voice. "Well, between us, Chris Wolfe asked me this morning in government class, but I wasn't about to say yes to that jerk. Besides, been there, done that, and don't wanna go there again. He doesn't really care about prom. He only cares about throwing the after-party, which we are all still going to, right?"
Joey and Pacey looked at each other, and then looked back at Jen. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he replied. "We bought the tickets for it, didn't we?" Then he smiled to himself, thinking about his prom plans. The Capeside Bars Inn, a former-hunting-lodge-turned-stylish-resort set by a private beach on Shore Road, had been reserved by the Prom Committee. Almost the entire senior class had bought tickets to fund the poolside after-party. The resort also had a reserved room waiting with his and Joey's names on it.
"Anyway, Dawson asked me, and so now I have a date."
Joey and Jen couldn't stop smiling at each other. "Are you doing anything right now?" Jen asked her. "You wanna hang out?"
She frowned slightly. "I was gonna go to Pacey's house and do homework."
"Oh, okay," Jen replied, looking a bit disappointed. "Well, that's all right. We can hang out another time."
"Yeah, definitely."
Pacey glanced between them. Then he cleared his throat. "A man knows when he's not wanted. So, I'm gonna go. I take it you two probably have a whole bunch of girl talk you're just dying to get into right now. Why don't you go over to Jen's house, and I'll pick you up later and we'll do our homework this evening?"
A surprised smile spread across Joey's face. "Really?"
"Yes, really."
Her arms came around his shoulders. "You truly are the perfect boyfriend," she said before kissing him.
"I know," he murmured, and she laughed against his lips.
"I love you, Pace," she said as she kissed his cheek before pulling away.
"I love you, too, Jo. Call me when you want me to come get you."
A few minutes later he was walking across the student lot towards the Witter wagon. When he reached the car, he stopped and stared. Drue Valentine was sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for him. What in the…?
Pacey walked up to the driver's side door and opened it, getting inside. "You mind telling me what the hell you're doing sitting in my car?"
"You know, I should warn you: you really shouldn't leave your doors unlocked, Witter."
"Or what? Someone's going to steal it? My mom's 1994 Wagoneer? There are literally BMWs in the parking lot, Drue. So, I'll ask again, why are you sitting here?"
"I need a ride."
"And what happened to your car?"
"My bitch of a mother took away my keys."
"Well, gee, Drue, that's too bad. Can't you ask one of your sycophant friends for a ride?"
"I know this may come as a shock to you, Witter, but you're one of the few people in this school I actually trust. I know I've given you a lot of shit, but I know you're a good guy. So, can you help me out, or not? Please? I've got no one else I can ask."
Heaving an exasperated sigh, Pacey pulled the visor down and caught the keys. He started the engine, and after buckling his seatbelt, he drove them out of the lot. "So, where are we going?"
"Head over to Three C's."
"The community college? You got a campus visit?"
Drue glared. "Ha ha. I got into Harvard, actually."
"You've gotta be kidding me. Harvard accepted you?"
"One of the rare benefits of being a Valentine. Pretty much the only thing my dad was good for."
"So, why are we going to CCC?"
"We're not exactly going to the college. We're going to a place across the street. There's somebody I need to see. It won't take long, and then you can just drop me off at the yacht club, which is near your house anyway."
Ten minutes later, Drue was directing him to park on the street in front of the Big Ace Saloon. "Good grief," Pacey muttered.
"Would you like to come inside with me?"
He gave him a hardened stare and said nothing.
"Okay, then. I was just asking. Just trying to be polite. Well, like I said, I'll only be a few minutes."
Pacey rolled his eyes as he watched the guy disappear inside the bar. It gradually began to dawn on him the reason Drue wanted to come here. That son of a bitch. Anger was flooding his gut just as Drue reappeared, accompanied by a man who might've been in his forties. The two were talking and laughing like old friends.
Drue leaned in the open passenger window. "This is my friend I was just telling you about, Pacey Witter." He nodded at the man beside him. "This is Mack. He owns the saloon."
"So, this is Pacey Witter. Okay. You the sheriff's kid?" the man asked.
He set his jaw and glared at Drue, who cleared his throat and turned to his acquaintance. "Well, thanks for helping me out, Mack. I gotta get going. See you later."
The man said goodbye and started walking back to the bar's entrance as Drue got into the front seat. "Thanks, man," he said as he grabbed the seatbelt.
Pacey took a steadying breath, trying to quell the anger storming inside. "Did you have me drive you over here so you could sell that guy drugs?"
"What? Of course not. Mack never buys on Mondays."
"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me." He pulled away from the curb, seething.
"Jesus, Witter. What's the problem?"
"The problem is that apparently I am now aiding and abetting a drug dealer."
"I told you I didn't sell the guy anything. I just needed to ask him to do me a small favor. He owes me big time."
"And was this favor illegal?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
Shaking his head, he pressed his foot to the gas and sped away, eager to get Drue out of his car as quickly as possible. He eased his foot off the accelerator as he approached the turn for Stage Harbor Road.
Immediately his heart catapulted into his throat.
A law enforcement vehicle was flashing its lights directly behind him and its siren began wailing. Adrenaline exploded into his bloodstream with a sickening rush. He felt as vulnerable, as defenseless as a guppy pursued by a shark. His instinctive reaction to those red lights flashing behind him now was gut-wrenching fear.
No other cars in the vicinity. He was the one who was getting pulled over, all right. "I swear to God, Drue, if you have any illegal substances on you, I will fucking kill you."
"Relax, man. I don't have anything."
"You better not."
Pacey coasted to a stop on the side of the road. Looking in his rearview mirror, he scoffed and shook his head as the patrol car pulled up behind him.
"What?" Drue asked.
"It's my brother."
He waited a couple minutes and soon Doug's face appeared in the open window.
"Well, well, well. Hello, boys." He stared at his younger brother. "Pacey."
"Dougie."
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Do you?"
Doug's face hardened. "You were going forty-five in a thirty."
"Sorry. Are you going to write me a ticket?"
"Get out of the car, Pacey," his brother said before walking away from the door.
Heaving a sigh, he unbuckled his seatbelt and hopped out of the car. He joined his brother who was standing next to his patrol cruiser. "What are you doing hanging out with that bozo?"
"We're not hanging out, Doug. He needed a ride. That's it. I was on my way to drop him off at the yacht club when you pulled me over, and I was speeding because I couldn't wait for him to get the hell away from me."
"That Valentine kid is bad news, Pacey."
"You think I don't know this? He asked for my help and…" He shrugged.
"I know you're good at taking care of people, Pace, but some people aren't worth helping."
He crossed his arms and leaned back against the police car. "It was just a ride, Dougie."
"And where were you coming from just now? Because the high school is in the opposite direction."
He looked at his older brother, a feeling of unease coming over him. "Um…"
"Do you think I'd ask you a question I didn't already know the answer to?" Doug smirked. "I hope you weren't drinking at that bar, Pacey."
Affronted, he gaped at him. "Drinking? It's not even three o'clock in the afternoon. Do I look like Mom and Dad to you?"
To his surprise, a sorrowful look came over Doug's face. "Look, um… Amy and Gretchen told me some things that happened to you…"
He tore his gaze away, unable to look at his older brother. His stomach twisted into knots.
"I've been wanting to talk to you about Dad, but I've been busy and…" He sighed. "Pacey, I… I don't know what to say."
"So, don't say anything, Doug."
"I wish I'd known those things were happening at the time. I wish that—"
His head turned sharply. "Why? What would you have done? You've never stood up to Dad a day in your life. He treated me like shit even when you were around, and you did nothing. You said nothing. You laughed along with him. If he was busy ridiculing me every chance he could get, then he'd leave you alone, right? Was that the idea?"
His brother's face went red. "Pacey… I…"
"Are you going to write me a ticket or not, Dougie?"
"No, Pacey. I'll let this go with a warning."
"I promise not to speed again."
"Not that kind of warning. Stay away from Drue Valentine."
"Right."
He walked away, heading back for the car, when his brother called out.
"Pacey!"
Turning, he looked at Doug and the sorrowful expression that had returned to his face.
"You know I love you, right?"
A lump of painful emotion tightened his throat. He didn't answer. He couldn't speak. Tears pricked his eyes and Pacey felt slightly horrified at the realization that he might cry if he did. Instead, he only nodded. Then he put his back to his brother and opened the car door. He did know Doug loved him, but he hated that it just didn't seem like enough anymore.
Monday night, the rain fell hard. Joey lay in bed naked with Pacey after making love, listening to it beat on his roof. It was perhaps one of her favorite sounds. She smiled to herself. Somehow, the weekend she'd spent alone with Pacey, the time she was spending with Jen, her lavender prom dress, her plans for the after-prom party, graduation, and the promise of summer, all of it filled her with enough contented happiness to keep the guilt at bay. At least for tonight.
"I think Jen might still like Dawson," Joey said. "A little bit, anyway. Probably a lot more if she'd let herself go there again."
"Sometimes I forget they even dated," Pacey replied, his voice thick with sleep.
"It was a long time ago, and it was over almost as quickly as it began."
"Poor Dawson. He was crazy about her. Maybe I should tell him. It might help him forget about you finally."
She scoffed. "Please. Well, he did ask her to prom, and she really wanted him to, so…"
"Do you think they'll get back together?" Pacey asked, feeling hopeful.
"I don't know. I mean, what would be the point, really? Dawson is going to Los Angeles in a few months, and Jen is staying on the east coast."
"I'll stay out of it, then. Too complicated."
Joey grinned at him. "Let's talk about prom. Are you planning any surprises?"
He looked taken aback. "Surprises? Me? Ridiculous. When have I ever surprised you?"
"Constantly."
"Are you planning a surprise, Potter?"
"Maybe…" she said mysteriously.
"A good one?"
She arched her brows. "When have my surprises ever been bad?"
Memories washed over him, and he filled with warmth. "Good point." Then his mouth twisted into a disapproving smirk. "Well, there was my birthday…"
"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"
"Not as long as I can milk it for all its worth. I told you my birthday was cursed, and look what happened."
She rolled her eyes. "You're not cursed. It's all in your head."
"Anyway, are you excited for Admit Weekend this Saturday? I have to say, I'm looking forward to going to Boston for a couple days."
The guilt slammed into her like a brick. When Joey finally turned her head to look at him, Pacey flashed her a brilliant smile that would brighten any girl's heart. Anyone's except hers. She felt her eyes begin to burn and the muscles in her throat tighten. She lowered her gaze and wrapped her arm and leg around him, snuggling into his warmth, hiding her face from him.
"Are you all right, Joey?"
"Yeah," she lied.
"Are you just anxious about Worthington?" he asked, remembering her floundering at that party back in December. "You'll do fine, Jo. There's no one you need to impress, so don't feel nervous. Admit Weekend is all about the school trying to impress you. Remember that. And I'll be right there, if you need me."
"I'll always need you," she said quietly, and he smiled, love and contentment filling his chest. "It's why you can never leave me."
"I'm never going to. Not unless you make me," he grinned.
The guilt twisted her insides, and the fear of losing him, the emotions battling for dominance.
"You make me feel like a real person. Like I'm important."
"You are important, Pacey. I wish you believed that."
"I'm trying to, Jo." His weekly meetings with Mr. Kapinos were still a work in progress, but he could honestly say he felt better now than before he'd started seeing him.
Pacey brushed her hair with his fingers, sending a tingle down her spine that would've made her knees go weak had she been standing. Thankfully, she was lying right next to him in bed. His arms were the safest place in the world for her, like nowhere she had ever been before. She never wanted to leave them. She never wanted to be apart from him. She couldn't help but feel selfish for this, knowing there were far better things out there in the world than her, but was it truly selfishness if he wanted the same thing?
"You're going to be just fine at Admit Weekend. You'll see."
"I know I will be… because you'll be there with me."
Joey raised her hand to caress his chin, turning his head to look at her. She wanted him to make her guilt and fear go away. She only wanted to feel the comfort and safety of his arms, of his love, and the pleasure only he could give her. "Make love to me," she whispered.
Smiling, Pacey moved over her, and she welcomed him with open arms, her legs wrapping around him. They touched and caressed, exploring each other's bodies. The touching turning to fondling, to arousal, more kissing, a condom wrapper being discarded, and then they were making love again.
With their experiences over the past few months, came knowledge of how to please each other, where to touch, how soft or firm, and when and where to kiss. There probably wasn't a book in existence that guaranteed perfect intimacy, but if they could have written one as they made love, Joey believed they would have come close.
In the end, their bodies gave in to sexual exhaustion and physical fatigue. Fully spent, they began to succumb to sleep still wrapped in each other's arms. The echo of Pacey's orgasmic moans, delicious sounds she now knew by heart, still lingered in the air along with the scent of their lovemaking. She fell asleep thinking nothing on earth could ever feel better than this.