Pacing back and forth in her apartment, Meredith had no idea what she was supposed to do. It had been two months since she'd last seen Derek. Eight weeks.

She missed him, like crazy, even more so right in this moment, if it were possible. He was due to phone her at any moment, but their next weekend together wasn't scheduled for another two weeks when he flew out to see her.

A loud groan escaped her lips as an unexpected wave of nausea rippled through her stomach. Her palm pressed to her forehead, the other flat against her stomach as she pressed her lips together in an attempt to try and stave off her intense need to vomit.

Realising it was a futile effort, she darted into her bathroom just before she emptied the minimal contents of her stomach into the toilet. Over the sound of her own retching, she could hear the faint ringing of her mobile in the living. There was no way she could move from where she sat next to the toilet, leaning back against the glass of the shower as the ringing stopped.

Her phone started ringing again, and she groaned softly, taking a few deep breaths before dragging herself into the living room. She swiped up her phone before immediately returning to the bathroom. She answered the phone, quickly noting that it was Derek who was calling, thankful he wasn't video calling.

"Hey," she spoke into the phone, coughing against the dryness in her throat.

"Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?"

An obvious concern laced his tone. She swallowed a little before answering, trying to not sound as pathetic as she felt.

"I'm fine, are you okay?"

"I'm good, just got out of surgery…"

Her head leant back against the glass of the shower, listening to him talk about his day. Her eyes closed, and she struggled to focus on his words as the nausea still sat in the pit of her stomach.

Her eyes snapped open as his voice sounded louder all of a sudden.

"Meredith, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry."

Her words came out as a mumble, as much as she tried to not sound like she was ready to curl up in bed and go to sleep. She was exhausted from the vomiting.

"What's going on? And don't say you're fine because it's really obvious that you're not."

"I'm just feeling nauseous, I may have just thrown up before answering the phone," she tried to laugh a little, humourlessly.

She didn't want to worry him, but a dull pain started in her head. She groaned, massaging the side of her temple with her fingers.

"Baby, go lie down, we can talk later."

She could sense a hint of disappointment in his tone. They kept missing each other's calls over the past few days and had only communicated through voicemail and the odd text message; they had both been waiting desperately for the time for this phone call.

"Derek, no, I'm okay, honestly, I just want to talk with you."

Her voice cracked a little, involuntarily, as she spoke. She could hear his soft, worried smile on the other end.

"I'll stay on the phone with you, until you fall asleep. Please, just go and lay down, for me."

She bit her lip with a short sigh, taking a moment to think. She didn't want their call to end, but she wasn't going to be much of a participant in it when she felt like this. It probably was better that she went to lay down and nap, and speak to him when she felt better, more present.

"Okay, give me a second, I need to clean up a little first, don't go."

"Okay, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here."

She slowly moved back to her feet, her stomach more settled now, and she put the phone on loudspeaker as she brushed her teeth and cleaned herself up ready for bed.

"Did you try cooking chicken again?"

She smiled at the sound of his laughter as she rinsed her mouth out. Could she tell him the real reason she was puking her guts out? No, she couldn't do that over the phone.

"No, I didn't. It might just be a stomach bug; a few people have been off with it."

She offered him a small laugh as she picked up the phone again, going into her bedroom to put a clean pair of pyjamas on. She could feel her movements dragging with the exhaustion, eventually curling up in bed. She tucked herself in under the covers, the phone on the pillow next to her. Her voice came out incredibly small as she tucked the blanket up close to her chin.

"I miss you, Derek."

"I miss you too, Meredith. I'll be there in just two weeks."

She groaned and buried her face against her pillow. She heard his soft laughter on the other end of the line.

"You're cute when you get sick, I hate that I'm missing out on that."

"I need you to make me feel better."

She pouted even though he couldn't see her, feeling a little bad when she heard his sad sigh.

"I wish I could be there to look after you."

"I know, I know you would if you could. I'll be okay, I promise," she spoke in a quiet, serious voice, stifling a yawn.

"Try and sleep, I'm not going anywhere," his soft voice was enough to start lulling her to sleep, and she mumbled an inaudible response, making him chuckle softly, "I love you, Meredith."

"I love you too," she managed to whisper.

Eventually, she was falling to sleep, her mind filled with different scenarios, ways she could tell him. It needed to be soon. She didn't want to keep him in the dark about this for too long.

She was in LA a week later. She was pleased with herself, with the plan that she had devised after waking up that following morning. She managed to get the time off work to come out here, and she was armed with the sonogram from her doctor's appointment, confirming the pregnancy.

She'd taken a cab to the hospital, currently making her way through the halls. She ignored the looks she got from various doctors and nurses, who likely knew who she was, but didn't know why she was there. She came across the OR board, double checking Derek was in surgery. She knew he should be, having mentioned it in his voicemail to her earlier that day.

She made her way to the corresponding gallery, excited to watch him operate. She walked up to the window that overlooked the operating room, looking down at the surgeons below. Her eyes brightened when she located his scrub cap, the one she'd given him after their boards. She watched his movements, slow, steady, precise.

Her arms wrapped around her middle as she continued to watch him operate, a strong feeling of pride taking over, becoming a little overwhelmed with the emotions she was feeling. As though she had called his name, his eyes looked up at the gallery and locked with hers. She couldn't help but grin at him. He held a hand up to her, signalling that he wouldn't be much longer. The squint of his eyes told her he was grinning beneath the surgical mask. He was clearly happy to see her, and it eased her nerves.

She gave him a small nod, watching a moment longer before grabbing her bag and making her way back to the OR board to wait for him; she couldn't go to the OR floor to meet him without a pass. She leant back against the wall, dropping her bag to the floor at her side, her arms crossed over her middle again as she waited for him to appear.

The moment their eyes locked, the rest of the world melted away. She grinned and pushed herself off the wall as he walked toward her. His arms engulfed her, holding her close to him. He squeezed her gently, probably reassuring himself that she was actually there. She loved surprising him like this.

Her arms went around his middle, her face buried into his shoulder. She felt his lips against the top of her head, making her feel giddy inside. This was definitely the right thing to do, and exactly what she needed.

"Hi," she murmured.

His lips moved to her forehead with kisses, before he nuzzled his face against her neck, breathing her in. The movement made her heart melt. He'd needed her as much as she needed him, and he didn't even know the news.

"You're here, you're really here, I thought I was seeing things," he murmured.

She looked up at him with a soft grin, laughing softly.

"I'm only here for a couple of days. But I'm here, and I missed you, and I couldn't wait another week to see you."

"I missed you too," he pressed his lips against hers, kissing her softly.

Her hands moved to his shoulders with a gentle kiss as she returned the kiss. He held her tighter, pulling her closer.

"Maybe not right here," she murmured softly.

His lips pulled back, and the grin he gave her made her heart melt. His hand reached to push her hair gently behind her ear.

"I need to go and check on my patient, and then we can go back to mine, okay?"

He stepped back, leaning down to pick up her bag off the floor. She rolled her eyes and held her hand out for the bag, and he chuckled as he passed it to her.

"I can carry my bag while you be a doctor for a little while longer," she laughed, pulling it over her shoulder.

"Alright, come with me, the ward is just this way, and I won't take too long."

His arm slid around her waist as they walked. She leant against him, welcoming the close contact after being without him for almost two months.

He led her to the neurosurgical ICU, leaving her stood by the nurses' station as he went to go check on his post-op patient. She set her bag down again, just as one of the residents approached her, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Hi, uhm, are you Meredith Grey?" The resident asked, looking a little starstruck.

"Yeah, can I help you?" She laughed a little, mostly out of nervousness, nodding.

"Are you here to operate? I know there's a kid down in paeds with this inoperable tumour and I thought, maybe, that's why you're here," the resident rambled nervously.

"Oh, uhm, no I'm not here to operate, I'm here to see De- Dr Shepherd," she gave the resident a polite smile before remembering what she'd just been told, and furrowed her brow, "An inoperable tumour? Have you got the chart?"

"Wait, are you Dr Shepherd's mystery girl?" She suddenly asked.

"I'm his… what?" She frowned.

"Sorry, I mean, I'll go get that chart."

The resident scurried away, cheek slightly flushed, before Meredith could say another word.

Mystery girl? What was that about?

She looked down the hall in the direction Derek had walked in, seeing him returning to where he'd left her stood. He grinned toward her, but she could only look back in confusion, pointing at herself as she spoke.

"I'm mystery girl?"

"Yes," he guffawed, stopping in front of her, "You've always been my mystery girl, that's a well-established fact."

"No, I mean," she shook her head, thinking a second, "The resident said I was your mystery girl?"

She rose an eyebrow at him, one hand on her hip. His expression changed, looking a little bit sheepish. She smirked slightly.

"You talk about me?"

"Mer, of course I talk about you," he leant forward, kissing her cheek, his grin returning.

He took her bag from her, his arm moving around her waist to pull him close. Just as they were about to kiss, the resident from earlier returned, patient chart in hand.

"Dr Edwards?" Derek turned to the resident in question.

"I believe that's for me," Meredith grinned, turning and holding her hand out for the file, "She thought I was here to operate, might as well look at the case, since it's paediatric."

"I leave you alone for five minutes," Derek groaned, rolling his eyes playfully, "I want you to myself for at least an hour. Please?"

"I just want to see the scans, that's all," she grinned, opening up the charts, "Thank you, Dr Edwards."

"No problem, these scans were just done yesterday so they're relatively up to date," the resident stood diligently beside her, clocking Derek's present after a second, "Dr Shepherd, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I was just…"

"It's okay, Dr Edwards," he chuckled slightly at the resident's excitement, before giving his attention to Meredith.

"I need a better look at this," she mumbled, trying to look at it through the lights.

"Come on, I'll take you to a viewing room."

He bid farewell to Dr Edwards with a simple nod, Meredith offering her a smile. His hand dropped to Meredith's lower back, guiding her to a nearby viewing room. She stayed engrossed in the chart, taking in every detail of the case.

Once they entered, she put the scans up on the illuminated board so she could get a better look at them, studying them closely. As she looked over the scans, Derek's arms wrapped around her waist from behind, pulling her back against him. His lips touched the side of her neck in soft kisses, making her grin.

"I might be able to…" she murmured quietly, barely audible.

"What's that, Mer?" He asked, brushing her hair to the side.

"I think I could do it, get the whole thing," she grinned, turning to look at him, still in his arms.

She studied his face a moment, seeing the curiosity and intrigue there. A random wave of nausesa churned in her stomach had her remembering the reason she was in LA in first place.

"Oh, I came here for a reason!"

The curiosity on his face deepened at her words now as she pulled away from him and moved over to her bag. She pulled out the sonogram, grinning wide as she glanced at it, holding it against her chest. She looked straight at him.

"Okay, so I found something out a week ago, the reason I was sick, and well, I couldn't tell you over the phone, or over a video call, and I couldn't wait another week longer to see you again without blurting it out," she started pacing, trying to focus her speech a little more, try to stop rambling so much, "That's why I moved around some surgeries and managed to come out here for today and tomorrow, but I have to get back tomorrow night, I think, unless… I need to look more at this case, see if… Okay, I'm going off track."

She stopped pacing, looking at him straight. He was watching her with a soft smile, clearly not aware of what she was about to tell him. The nausea she had just felt turned into a giddiness in her stomach, radiating through her body.

"I'm happy about this, I want you to know I'm happy about what I'm about to tell you, and I want it to happen, even if it's earlier than we talked about, and if you don't, I understand if you don't want to do this."

"Meredith, you're rambling, what is it?" Derek cut her off.

"I didn't have food poisoning, or a stomach bug," she took in a deep breath, holding out the sonogram to him, "Derek, I'm pregnant."

She watched as his eyes widened slightly, taking the sonogram from her with a shaky hand. He studied it carefully a moment, his finger tracing the image. He looked back up at her, his expression unreadable, making her panic slightly.

"We're having a baby?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"We're having a baby," she nodded.

She grinned as his arms wrapped around her, lifting her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck. He captured her lips with his, kissing her slowly, and she could feel a wetness on her face, but couldn't decipher whether it was his tears or her own, or maybe a mixture of both. He murmured against her lips.

"We're having a baby."

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets,
To carry love, to carry children of our own.