A tense silence filled the car as she drove them towards the airport. It wasn't the type of silence that made you feel uncomfortable, but it wasn't exactly comforting either. Two things helped to ease it, though; the touch of her husband's hand on her thigh, and seeing her son, Elijah, fast asleep in the back of the car.
At only four months old, he was impossibly tiny still, and the car seat only exaggerated that further. She glanced back, looking to the mirror that gave her a reflection of his sleeping form, smiling softly as she noticed the small smile he gave as he slept, huddled in blankets.
The car came to an idle stop at a red light, just around the corner from the airport car park. She glanced over at Derek who was looking out the window from the passenger seat. He'd been miserable and pouty since he'd been told the hospital needed him to go away to the upcoming conference. He was the only neuro attending available to attend, to represent Seattle Grace.
Meredith couldn't go with him either, having various meetings already in place to get her new department ready for opening the next month. She really wasn't in any position to be staying away from her son at only four months of age. Leaving him in day care was hard enough some days.
She couldn't be annoyed with his mood. She knew, put in his position, she would feel the same way. She was miserable enough that he wouldn't be there for the next five days and four nights. He just didn't want to leave them alone. He didn't want to be away from Elijah either.
She placed her free hand on his, squeezing gently. She was reassured when he turned his hand beneath hers, linking their fingers together, even though he released a heavy sigh. She eventually pulled the car into a parent and child bay, switching off the engine as she turned in her seat to face him.
"It's only five days and four nights," she said quietly, rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand.
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He turned to meet her gaze.
"I promised you we wouldn't sleep apart again," he said.
"Derek," she sighed, "This is different. This is work, and it's not that long."
"You know I'll leave early if I can, right?"
"I know, we'll be okay," she gave him a small smile.
He gave her a small smile, albeit forced, but she'd take it. She knew he loved her; she didn't always need reassurance of that. Derek's gaze shifted to their son in the back seat.
"I want say a proper goodbye, but I don't want to wake him up either."
She squeezed his hand, bringing his gaze back to her.
"Personally, I'd rather you didn't wake him," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "But we will walk you inside."
"Thank you," a smile flashed across his lips, and he caught hers in a quick kiss.
She pressed back, deepening the kiss with a soft hum, savouring him for a moment. She released his hand, cupping his face with both of her hands. She pulled back slightly, their foreheads touching.
"I love you."
"I love you too," he kissed her quickly again.
"Come on, no more distracting."
She laughed as she climbed out of the car, heading straight to the trunk where Elijah's stroller was folded away. She pulled it out and started to lock it into place as Derek unloaded his suitcase.
Almost expertly, she lifted Elijah out of his car seat, making sure to keep him swaddled close I his blanket as she settled him into the stroller. He became a little restless, but quickly settled when she tucked his blanket around him and made sure his stuffed monkey was nestled next to him.
Derek stood beside her. He wrapped his arms around her middle from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. He sighed softly.
"He's too cute, I can't not see him for five days," he kissed her cheek.
"We'll video call you every night, and I'll send you pictures and videos," she turned her head slightly, kissing his cheek back, "It's only five days."
Derek groaned dramatically, moving to her side but keeping an arm around her as she started to push the stroller. His free hand pulled along his suitcase as they made the familiar route through to the security gate for the departures lounge.
"Anyway, I heard you telling him not to make any sudden advancements while you were gone so you won't miss out," she smirked, trying to distract herself from their upcoming separation.
"You heard that?" He chuckled, squeezing her middle slightly.
"Yes."
She nudged him playfully in the side. When they stopped at the security point, both of his arms moved around her again and he pulled her close to him.
"I'm going to miss you," he said, touching his forehead against hers.
"I'm going to miss you too," she said, her nose nudging his slightly.
"Call me, and text me, and let me know how your meetings go, and send me videos of him, even if he's just sleeping," Derek reeled off, a hint of sadness in the tone of his voice that she hadn't hear in over a year.
"I will, you know I will," she murmured.
His lips touched hers gently, and she returned the gesture, her fingers sliding through his hair as he pulled her closer at the waist. They kissed slowly, savouring each movement.
Reluctantly, her lips left his, and she didn't want to let him go. But they both knew it was time for him to catch his flight.
"I love you," he said, locking his eyes with hers.
"I love you too," she told him, "Now you really need to go."
"Let me say goodbye, even if he is asleep," he kissed her forehead.
He turned to the stroller, leaning over to press a kiss against Eli's forehead. He spoke in a quiet whisper, his finger barely stroking Eli's cheek. She just watched, trying not to get too emotional. If she started crying now, there was no way he'd leave to catch his flight. She lifted her hand, gently squeezing his shoulder as he took his suitcase.
"We'll see you soon."
Parenting alone was hard. She as exhausted. Completely wiped out. It was nearing eleven at night, the last night before Derek was due home, and Eli's sleeping patterns had completely flown out of the window.
She paced her bedroom, holding Eli against her chest as he fussed, in refusal to go to sleep. She tried bouncing him gently, her hand alternating between patting and rubbing his back. He was pretty sure it was because Derek wasn't home, but she wouldn't say that to him. He would've caught the first flight home, and this was something they had to do. It wouldn't be the first time one of them would have to be away for a few days, that was just the nature of their work.
"I know you miss daddy, I miss him too, but you have to sleep, baby," she murmured, kissing the top of his harder.
Eli started to cry harder in response, and she was on the verge of laying him down and letting him cry it out. She'd definitely read somewhere in one of the many books Derek had bought that it was sometimes the only thing you could do. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. It broke her hears seeing her baby upset, and everything in her wanted to soothe him, make him feel better.
She gave up pacing, sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room with him. She held him against her chest, resting her chin lightly on his head so he could snuggle into her neck, which he did happily. His cries turned to sniffles, and she was slightly relieved, knowing it wouldn't be much longer until he was finally asleep.
"Go to sleep, Eli," she whispered softly, "Daddy will be back tomorrow, and I know he's going to cuddle you for hours."
She looked down at him, smiling softly at his big yawn. She adjusted him, cradling him in her arms, even if he was starting to get a little too big for it.
She loved holding him, imagining the person he would become. When they hadn't been sleep-deprived, during his first month, they would lay him on the bed between them as he slept, whispering about their different ideas about his future. They always came to the same conclusion; as long as he was happy and healthy, he could do whatever he wanted and be whoever he wanted to be.
She never imagined having children. It wasn't something she'd thought would ever happen until Derek. Until she imagined her future with Derek and imagined having children with him. She wouldn't change it for the world.
It didn't matter that he'd come along earlier than planned. She loved her little boy with everything she had, and she knew he would always be her baby. Even if he would scream about hating her when he became a teenager.
She pressed a kiss to his forehead as she noticed the tell-tale signs of him falling asleep. She lay there, holding him as he slept, knowing she needed to put him down in the bassinet, and get to sleep herself. She just wanted a few more minutes with him, when he wasn't crying, able to admire just how perfect he was.
Eventually, she rose from the chair, careful not to wake Eli as she moved to lay him in the bassinet beside the bed she shared with Derek. She needed to get some sleep herself, and hopefully Eli would stay asleep for longer tonight, and not wake her up too early. She didn't mind if he woke her up for an hour before he went back to sleep, but he'd been waking her up at three in the morning and staying awake until she settled him in at the hospital day-care, when she had to work. And she still couldn't drink too much coffee because she was breastfeeding. She couldn't wait for Derek to get home.
She cleaned herself up in the adjoining bathroom before crawling under the covers, sleeping on the side where the bassinet stood. She curled up, holding the blankets close around her for comfort as she felt herself drifting off to sleep. Just one more night.
When the taxi pulled up outside the house, it was nearing midnight, and he hoped he was able to stay quiet enough to not wake up Eli. Meredith hadn't complained as such, but he could see she had become more exhausted over the week and had mentioned that their son's sleeping habits had gone off schedule a tad. He had only assumed it was more than she implied, and he wished he had been able to escape the conference earlier.
It turned out they didn't actually need his attendance on the Friday, and he had rearranged his flight home for that Thursday evening, but after delays at the airport he'd only been able to get home now. He wasn't going to tell Meredith, she'd have insisted on picking him up, and it had been a while since he'd been able to surprise her.
As quietly as he could, he managed to get himself and his suitcase into the house, deciding to leave it in the hallway to sort out tomorrow. It was mainly washing anyway, and he didn't want to risk any loud noises waking up his wife and child. Given the darkness and stillness in the house he could only assume they were both asleep.
In the dark, he crept his way to the bedroom, finding them as he had assumed. Eli was sound asleep on his back, his body rising and falling with each steady breath he took, making Derek smile. He looked over to his wife, who was curled up in the bed, the blankets wrapped around her. She looked tired even in her sleep, and he wondered how long she'd actually been asleep for.
He made a quick trip into the bathroom before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into the bed behind her. He pressed a kiss against the slight frown in her forehead, gently rubbing her upper arm. He didn't want to wake her, but he hadn't been able to hold her all week, and she had effectively taken ownership of all the blankets on the bed.
"Meredith," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.
She grunted slightly, curling further in on herself as she stayed asleep. He sighed softly, not wanting to wake her now. He didn't have to be in work the next day, or today rather, given the time, so he didn't mind staying awake for longer.
He glanced to the clock, seeing the time as half two in the morning. His hand came up to his mouth as he yawned. He sat back against the pillows beside Meredith, watching her sleep. He felt lucky every time he looked at her, his heart swelling with pride and pure love.
A soft noise coming from the bassinet grabbed his attention, and he looked over to Eli who was stretching out with a yawn, his nose scrunching up with a frown. He watched, waiting to see if he was just fidgeting in his sleep or waking up. He had to time it carefully. He didn't want him to start crying and wake Meredith.
When his eyes started to open, his face tinged with a slight red, he quickly but quietly moved off the bed and over to the bassinet. He carefully lifted his son into his arms, a soft grin on his face as he snuggled into him.
"Hey, you're up early," Derek said quietly, rubbing his back gently.
Eli started to fuss in his arms, and he stepped over to the window, away from the bed. He shushed his son quietly, rocking him slightly in his arms to avoid any louder crying.
"You're up really early, aren't you?" He murmured, pressing a kiss against the dark whisps of hair atop his head, "Have you been keeping mommy awake while I've been gone, hmm?"
Eli started to quieten but was very much awake now. He didn't feel wet, and there weren't any suspicious smells coming from him, and he wasn't screaming to be fed, so Derek concluded he just wanted some attention, which he was happy to give him.
He continued to look out the window that backed onto their back garden, which then backed on to woodland, slowly rocking Eli side to side, holding him close to his chest. He'd never thought he would feel this overwhelming feeling of love, maybe a little more so than how he felt for Meredith. Or not more, but a different type of unconditional love.
A small grumble sounded from his son, and he looked down to find him looking up at him with his wide blue eyes. He was the perfect combination of the two of them. Eli lifted a hand up to him, giving him a gummy smile.
He laughed softly, kissing Eli's hand before taking it in his own, securing his hold on him in one arm. He turned and moved back to the bed now that he was being quieter, sitting beside Meredith again as she continued to sleep. He lay Eli on his chest; Eli lay on his stomach with his head facing Meredith, who was turned toward them in her sleep.
Eli made a small noise, akin to a squeal but quieter, as he reached his arm out in her direction, making grabbing fists. Derek chuckled softly, rubbing Eli's back.
"We have to let mommy sleep, she's had you on her own all week," he whispered, his own hand reaching to push Meredith's hair back that had fallen into her face.
Her nose scrunched up a little, identical to how Eli's had earlier, and Derek's grin widened at the similarity. Eli grunted in frustration, his little legs kicking on top of Derek.
"Eli," a soft grumble came from Meredith, but she didn't seem to wake.
A happy gurgle came from Eli at the sound of his name, his hand grabbing for Meredith again. Derek took his hand, letting him grip his thumb instead. He pressed another kiss against his son's head.
"Let mommy sleep, baby," he mumbled, his eyes shifting to watch Eli now, who was still kicking his legs about. "Don't you want to sleep, little man? It's dark outside, that means time to sleep."
At this point, he didn't think there was any way that Eli would be going back to sleep. He realised that Meredith had been massively underplaying the disruption to his sleeping schedule; no wonder she had looked and sounded exhausted.
Meredith shifted beside him, moving toward him, assumedly for the warmth she said he always radiated. The movement allowed for Eli to reach her, however, and before Derek could stop him, Eli had released his thumb and had a handful of Meredith's hair in his hand. Trying to get it out of his grip would most likely wake her, but Eli unknowingly yanking it hard would definitely wake her as well.
It looked like either way, she was going to end up awake.
He sighed in slight frustration.
He gently tried to pry Eli's fingers from the strands of hair. Eli wasn't having any of it.
Derek groaned.
"Mer," he tried to wake his wife again, running his hand over the back of her head, leaning to kiss her forehead.
Eli chose that moment to start making random noises to himself, and Meredith's nose scrunched up again. Her eyes opened slightly, a soft murmur escaping her lips.
"Morning, Eli," she said with a slight yawn, only for her eyes to suddenly open wide. "Eli! What…"
Her eyes drifted upward to meet Derek's, and a sleepy grin spread across her lips. Her hand moved to his that still settled on Eli's back.
"You're here," she mumbled, moving closer to his side, frowning as she realised Eli had her hair. "Eli, no, we talked about this."
Derek watched in amazement as her hand moved around Eli's her thumb gently stroking the back of his small fist. At her touch, he slowly let go, and she pulled her head back slightly to retrieve her hair. She briefly moved her hand off Derek's to push her hair back, out of his reach, returning it when she was done.
"Good morning," Derek said, kissing her forehead again, and then Eli's.
"What time is it?" She said, hiding her face against his shoulder as she yawned again.
"Around half three, I got back around two, and he woke up a half hour after that," Derek shrugged, before frowning slightly. "You didn't tell me he was waking up this early."
"It was fine, don't worry so much," she sighed softly, keeping her face buried against his shoulder, "I missed you."
"I missed you too, both of you," he, lowered his lips against the top of her head for a moment, interrupted by Eli's hand against his cheek. "Someone wants attention."
"I think he's hungry," Meredith said, turning her head to face Eli with a warm smile.
"I can get a bottle, you go back to sleep," he said.
"We only have enough for tomorrow while I'm in work," she sighed softly, "It's okay, he's forced me into a routine."
"Not the best routine," he pointed out as she sat up beside him, getting herself ready to feed Eli.
"Well hopefully he settles now that you're back to tire him out before bedtime," she smirked at him, lifting the baby up and supporting him to sit in her lap.
He groaned playfully, his hand squeezing her thigh as he turned his head and pressed a kiss against her slightly exposed hip that was positioned right where he could reach with his lips. He rolled out of the bed as Meredith started feeding their son.
"I'm going to grab some water; do you need anything?" He asked, considering pulling on his robe but deciding against it, since the heating had been left on low.
"Water would be good," she responded, her voice soft. He turned to look at her, a grin spreading across his face as he saw her feed Eli. He loved watching the way he looked at their son, bonded with him while he fed, while they had their moment together. "Oh, come here."
She looked up to him with a small smile. He cocked an eyebrow as he walked to her side of the bed.
"What is it?"
"Closer," she grinned, her lip caught under her teeth.
He chuckled as he bent down, bringing his face toward hers. "Yes, my love?"
"Hi, I missed you," she whispered, tilting her head to catch his lips in hers.
He kissed her back slowly, savouring each taste, unable to keep the grin off his face. He cupped her cheek with his hand, stroking her flushed skin with his thumb. God, he'd missed her.
"I missed you too," he murmured, pulling back reluctantly, kissing the tip of her nose. "I'll be right back."
She nodded, biting her lip again with a grin. He chuckled again as he moved toward the doorway, taking one look back at them both, lingering for a moment. He could imagine anything better than this. His family felt complete. Even if they chose not to have any more kids, he would be perfectly content with his life. He was finally able to spend and share the rest of his life with the love of his life, physically being there for her; her being there for him.
Even if they were separated for a few days, he would always come back home to Meredith. She would always come back home to him.
He wouldn't have it any other way.