Conclusive Disciplinary Report CR1020.04

Report Written by: Head Human Resource Manager Joan Mercer

Date: 18 Oct 2020

Employee Concerned: Ben D. Johnson

Employee Position: Service Chicken

Employed Since: 29 Sep 2020

Disciplinary Action(s): Extended Detention in the Reflection Room, Permanent Demotion

Infraction(s): Libelous Social Media Posts, Unlawful Assembly of Employees, Insubordination, Assault of Security, Vandalism

Full Report (Human Resource Managers are required to include excerpts of all Disciplinary Reports up to the time of writing):

no time for pg 2-6

will copy R1020.052 & SR1020.011 next time if possible

Insubordination, Assault of Security, Vandalism

On 16 Oct 2020, 7.42pm, Ben D. Johnson (henceforth referred to as the "Criminal") arrived at the KFP Headquarters.

As the Impartial Immortal Kiara had deigned to preside over his trial, I personally oversaw the escort of the criminal.

As he was being yanked out the back of the KFP delivery van, he somehow found strength to resist, springing forward to headbutt the Peacekeeper in front. He then swiftly swung his right foot backwards and up between the legs of the one behind. With the two guards crumpling behind him, he lunged out of the van. Stumbling at first, he desperately sprinted at full-tilt towards the open parking lot entrance, the place from which I was observing. I whipped my foot out at his feet, just as he flew past. At that speed, he could not hope to rebalance himself; with his hands still cuffed behind him, he could not stop his face from skidding relentlessly across the concrete.

A moment of silence. Then an ear-splitting cry of agony.

Although I would have loved to leave his twisted ankle and broken face untreated to prevent further resistance, I could not permit such a bloody mess in the presence of the Eternal Eminence of Kiara. As such, I ordered the rest of the entourage to lug him to the first aid room, with the injured Peacekeepers and I following close behind.

After the three received treatment, the criminal was placed in an isolated holding room. As per protocol, criminals that engage in the Unlawful Assembly of Employees are to be locked up and guarded by two Peacekeepers at all times — one standing next to the door and the other facing the door 3m away — until the time of trial. Since this criminal had proven violent, I had him stay cuffed inside.

The trial was initially scheduled to take place in the Conference Hall, 17 Oct 2020, 11am; shortly after the Membership Watch-Along of the Lord of the Rings. However, even the Ever Energetic Kiara needed to rest, and the trail was postponed until she was ready.

At 7.14pm the same day, the Regal and Refined Kiara notified me that she wished to "Get it over with," so I rushed the Peacekeepers and Specialists on duty to set up the Conference Hall and move the criminal posthaste.

All was prepared by 7.20pm and the Magnificent Majesty of Kiara was projected upon the screen. As surely as her smile is splendid, her amethyst eyes bore no kindness for the contemptible criminal that had perturbed her peaceful morning. All who bore witness to such a sight surely trembled.

And yet, the criminal had the audacity to raise his voice, calling her a "chicken", among other things. He was promptly gagged.

With everything in order, the trial continued apace. The criminal's charges were read out in front of all present. Libelous Social Media Posts, Unlawful Assembly of Employees. In addition, Assault on the security personnel the day before and the Vandalism of the parking lot floor immediately after.

But everyone present knew what his sentence was. The moment he threw that insult, Insubordination was added to his list of infractions. His fate was sealed.

Of course, the Perpetually Perfect Kiara had already made her decision and signalled the prosecutor with her eyes. Sensing this, she stopped herself. There was no need for the criminal to defend himself.

"Permanent Demotion," announced Kiara in her delightfully divine voice.

Her gaze graced me in a fleeting moment that lasted a blissful eternity. "See to it," she ordered.

There was naught to do but bow in reverent obedience.

The clueless criminal was struck dumb. He remained silent even when he was ungagged and pushed out the room. He knew nothing of what a Permanent Demotion is.

Naturally, I will oversee his sentence.

[Excerpt from Special Disciplinary Report SR1020.012, written by Head Specialist in the Internal Management of Peace, Samantha Fairbairn]

Conclusion

The final verdict for Ben D. Johnson is Permanent Demotion.

As stated in this report, his infractions are as follows:

Libelous Social Media Posts (R1020.052)

Unlawful Assembly of Employees (SR1020.011)

Insubordination, Assault of Security, Vandalism (SR1020.012)

According to protocol, the Specialists stationed at the Reflection Room should be the ones to carry out the Permanent Demotion. However, Head Specialist Samantha formally requested to personally perform the procedure. This time, she cites the fact that CEO Kiara ordered her to "see to it." Footage of the trial supports this.

I have granted Head Specialist Samantha permission to carry out the Permanent Demotion of Ben D. Johnson.

Even beyond the fact that the CEO ordered it, I have been informed that the most recent advancement in the KFPhoenix drug should make the procedure safe for even an amateur to carry out, so there should be no major hiccups this time.

After Permanent Demotion, Ben D. Johnson, will be relocated back to his initial KFP branch and stationed in the KFPhoenix Coop. There, he will serve as a KFPhoenix indefinitely.

It is clear from the recent series of attempted revolutions that some employees cannot see reality. In order for them to see the futility of their actions, I propose that we add a short summary of all daily infractions into the daily Regular Robin Report. If employees can see that all offenders from the previous day are dealt with, they would be less likely to delude themselves. Furthermore, if we include the names of the employees involved, everyone would know who to avoid.

While there is a risk that offenders may more easily identify and coordinate with each other, I believe that the hidden cameras we are currently installing in the Dormitories would mitigate this.

I will draft a full proposal soon.