Part 4

Lena hated flying but what made it worse was the apprehension she felt.

Kara had said she wanted to talk and it all sounded positive at the time but now Lena was having doubts.

She always did though; whenever something was going well in her life, she would question when it was going to screw up again.

Lena jerked when Andrea tapped her arm lightly in the seat next to her.

Lena always wondered why Andrea insisted on sitting next to her when she knew she would be much more comfortable in the chair opposite. Andrea had only smiled but didn't answer.

"Hey, are you ok?" Andrea asked, her voice soft.

Lena nodded, forcing a smile.

"Yeah I just-I hate flying. You know that." She added with a frown.

"Yes I do but you're on edge even more so than normal. Is it Kara?"

Lena's head whipped around at the mention of the blonde's name.

Andrea gave her a small smirk.

"Why are you worried Len? Kara said she wanted to talk when you got back and it sounded very positive...what's changed?"

Lena sighed.

"Because...what if this is temporary? You know what happens Andrea, I get a tiny shred of happiness and then...I don't know- something bad happens."

Andrea took Lena's hand in her own, forcing her friend to look at her.

"Len. Listen to me; You deserve happiness. Kara is what makes you happy. So instead of worrying about what could go wrong, just focus on how happy this will make you and how much you deserve love in your life. Don't think about what could go wrong."

Lena nodded her head slowly.

Andrea was right. She was wise and she knew just the right thing to say to make Lena see sense.

A small smile crossed Lena's lips and she nodded.

"You're right. This is a good thing and I should just be happy."

Andrea nodded.

"Exactly. I mean Len, think about it; you're going home to talk to Kara about your relationship, nothing else. What? You think she's going to tell you she's an alien?!"

Lena laughed, throwing her head back.

"Kara?! An Alien! Don't be ridiculous!"

Alex was rubbing circles on Kara's back as she hyperventilated.

"How's Lena going to react when she finds out I'm an alien?!"

"Kara, honey, don't think about it too much. Lena loves you. She wouldn't care if you...turned blue on every full moon."

Kara turned her head slowly sideways to look at her sister with an incredulous look.

Alex shrugged, her brown eyes softening.

"Best I could come up with." She muttered, a little embarrassed.

At least the strange example had slowed Kara's breathing and she no longer looked like she was about to burst.

"Maybe Lena will be pleased that I'm Supergirl."

Alex nodded and smiled brightly.

"There you go! Who wouldn't want a Superhero for a girlfriend!"

Kara smiled but it was shaky but at least she was trying to be positive.

She nodded her head a little.

"I was thinking of maybe flying up to her balcony and be like, ta-da!"

Alex winced.

"Might be a bit of a shock."

Kara frowned but then murmured in agreement.

"Yeah, too much...what else can I do?"

Alex sat forward a little.

"Look, why don't you take her somewhere and just...tell her."

"Where would I take her?"

"What's her favourite place?"

"Oh well it's...um, I think she likes-"

"You don't know?" Alex questioned, one eyebrow arched.

Kara bit her lip and shook her head. How could she not know Lena's favourite place?

Alex took a breath and tried another tactic.

"Ok, well what's her favourite restaurant?"

Kara closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.

"I don't know."

"Kara, this-"

"I know. I should know Lena's favourite place, favourite restaurant, favourite colour but I don't. I'm such a bad girlfriend and I'm not even with her yet!"

"Kara, calm down. This is all new and you and Lena are new to each other. There'll be time to get to know each other."

Kara frowned deeply.

"Yeah but starting a relationship when I know barely anything about her? Maybe-maybe this is a mistake." She whispered.

Alex frowned.

"You really think that?"

Kara shrugged.

"I don't know...I like Lena-I really like Lena- but we don't know anything about each other than how we like our coffee."

"I think Lena needs to know all this. Tell her how you feel."

"Yeah but Lena is coming back to National city thinking she's walking into a relationship. How can I tell her that...that I don't think I'm ready?"

Alex gave Kara a sympathetic smile.

"If she loves you, she'll understand."

Kara nodded, hoping that Alex was right...

Her phone hadn't rung once since Lena had been back.

She'd come home, unpacked, showered and changed and still nothing from Kara.

She did want to talk, didn't she?

Lena glanced down at her phone. At the black screen, willing it to light up with Kara's name but no, nothing.

Biting her thumb nail, Lena picked up her phone and sent Kara a text.

HI KARA, I'M HOME. WHEN DID YOU WANT TO TALK? X

She waited patiently-ok maybe not patiently but she waited-and still nothing.

Lena frowned.

Maybe that text hadn't gone through, even though she knew it had.

She typed out another one.

HI KARA, JUST WONDERING IF YOU GOT MY MESSAGE? I SENT IT ABOUT AN HOUR AGO X

Still nothing.

Was Kara ok? Had something happened? Was she avoiding her?

Lena shook her head and got up. All this waiting was driving her mad. Being decisive, Lena grabbed her phone and called Kara directly.

It rang...and rang...and rang.

Then it went to voicemail.

Lena sighed and hung up then called again. This time, there was a click and Lena's heart rate picked up.

"Kara?"

Lena heard Alex whisper in the background.

"Just talk to her."

"I can't..." Kara hissed back.

Then Kara's line went dead.

Lena glared at her phone as though it was all the small device's fault.

So Kara was ok. She just wasn't talking to her- no scratch that- Kara didn't want to talk to her.

Lena's jaw set into a hard line and called Kara again.

It went straight to voicemail like Lena now expected and the Luthor left a message.

"Kara, it's Lena. If you don't want to talk then fine but at least have the decency to tell me why. Call me when you feel brave enough to do so."

Lena then hung up and tossed her phone onto the couch.

She doubted she'd hear from Kara again tonight...

Lena realised she must have fallen asleep when a loud buzzing woke her.

Frowning, she sat up and looked around.

She was home and that buzzing...that was her door.

Getting up, Lena smoothed down her hair and straightened her clothes as she went to the intercom to see who it was.

"Hello?"

"Lena? It's Kara. Can I come up? I know it's late but-but I need to talk to you."

Lena wanted to tell Kara to come back tomorrow or not at all. She knew why Kara was here; to break up something that even started but Lena wanted to see Kara despite all that.

With a sigh, she nodded her head.

"Alright. Come on up."

Lena walked away from the door after unlocking it and folded her arms as she went out onto the balcony. She had no idea what time it was but judging by the dark, chilly night air, she guessed it was still the early hours of the morning, maybe 2? At a guess.

A few minutes later, Kara joined her.

"Hey."

Lena rested her arms on the wall and looked at the city before her.

"How was your trip?" Kara asked.

Lena nodded.

"Fine. Just what I needed."

Kara nodded and then came to stand beside Lena.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer you earlier-or you know-reply to any of your texts. I was just..."

Lena glanced at her.

"Just what?"

"Scared."

This time Lena turned to look at her and it was true, Kara did look scared.

"What are you scared of?" Lena asked, her voice soft but still firm and a line inbetween her eyebrows.

Kara licked her lips.

"Lena, we hardly know each other. I don't know your favourite restuarant, your favourite place, your favourite colour-"

Lena's frown deepened.

"Why does all that matter?"

"Because...shouldn't we know more about each other before we enter in something completely new?"

Lena looked down. She supposed Kara was right but she also couldn't shake the feeling that this could be an excuse; so before she lost her nerve, Lena asked her outright;

"Do you not want this Kara?"

"Want what?"

"Us. Me. A relationship with me. Is that not what you want?"

"Lena I just-"

"Please Kara, I need to know."

Kara glanced at the view, of the city she loved and protected every day of her life.

There was so much about her that Lena didn't know and she had to be willing to share every part of herself with her if they ever hoped to make this work but the real question was, could Kara do that?

Kara's eyes finally met Lena's.

"I like you Lena, I really do."

Lena held her gaze as she felt her heart break again; this was it. What she had experienced before.

"But?"

"But I'm not who you think I am."

"I don't understand."

Kara sighed.

"I have secrets Lena. Big secrets and telling someone those secrets...it's not a small thing."

"Everyone has secrets Kara and if you'd rather keep yours' to yourself then I understand."

Kara sighed again.

"You're very understanding, you know that?"

Lena shrugged.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, scream at me. Yell, throw something. Lena I understand that I'm not being fair to you, honestly I do. I mean, you went away, I got jealous, we spoke and I said that I wanted to talk because I realised that I have feelings for you and now I'm telling you that I have secrets I might not be able to tell you and you're ok with it?"

Lena swallowed.

"I'm not ok with it." She said truthfully.

Kara blinked. She hadn't expected that kind of honesty but now that Lena was opening up, Kara wanted to know more.

"Then-then tell me...tell what you're feeling."

Lena bit her lip and nodded, her jaw tightened and her eyes darkened.

"Ok. I'll tell you exactly how I feel. I came to National city and everyone hated me because of Lex. Cat asked me take you on to "toughen you up a bit" and I did. I started having feelings for you in that short time. I pushed them down, I ignored them, made myself believe that they wasn't real. That I was just lonely or bored. Then I couldn't ignore them anymore and you set me up with your sister. Then we kissed and those feelings got stronger. I went away to figure it out-to give you time to figure it out. You got jealous and made me think we might have a future and then when I do come back, you tell me your having doubts, that you have secrets and you know what Kara, it sucks! All of it does! I'm being understanding because I'm hoping that this will make you see how much I want to be with you! But you...You just don't know, do you?"

Kara looked down.

Lena had told her the truth. She had could see how much this was cutting Lena up, how mad it was making her.

Lena's eyes filled up and Kara wanted to reach out and hold her but Lena took a step back.

"No. No I...I can't."

Lena sniffed and raised her chin slightly.

"I can't keep getting my heart broken Kara. I won't let you. So you either decide what you want. Right now...or I tell Cat this was a mistake and I'll send you back to Catco."

Kara swallowed.

"But...we still live in the same city. You still have dealings with Catco… we'll still see each other."

Lena shook her head.

"I'll cut all my ties with Catco and you'll never see me again. Who knows, maybe I'll leave National city. It might not have been a good move for me anyway." She added under her breath.

Kara shrugged.

"You haven't been here long."

"Then it's a good job that I haven't formed any attachments except you."

When Kara looked up, she found that Lena wasn't looking at her.

"I'll tell you what. I'll give you till tomorrow night to make a decision. I need an answer by this time tomorrow."

"Lena I-"

"If you can't make a decision, I leave."

Lena then left the balcony and went to her room.

Author's Note: So I've never been one for an easy road to love but bear with me, be patient, I didn't say you wouldn't get a happy ending now did I? ;)