"Oh my, God," Butch breathed out, eyes wide and completely still as he stared at Mr. Brotch's desk. "What the fuck are those things?"
"Language, Butch." Mr. Brotch chided but there was no hiding the undeniable glee in his voice. "And these charming little boys and girls are your newest project for the week! So, everyone sit down and get ready to embark on the wonders of parenthood!"
A beat of silence passed as the gathered group of teenagers stared unblinkingly at the obviously hard used horrors in front of them.
Amata slammed her head against her desk. "Just kill me now."
Catherine, Amata's best friend since they were in diapers, turned in her seat to give Amata's head a gentle pat. "I'll make it painless," she promised.
Mr. Brotch clapped his hands together and gave them all a devilish smile. "Alrighty then! I'm going to split you guys up into pairs. Now, this list was created randomly by the computer so no whining!" He glanced down at the paper in his hand. He frowned. "Oops. Looks like I forgot to tick the gender box. Oh, well. Wally it looks like you'll be pairing up with Paul."
The two teens groaned. Mr. Brotch ignored them and continued on.
"Amata and Christine. Gloria and Freddie. So that leaves Catherine and Butch. Okay, everyone move your desks so you're near your partner then we can get this ball rolling!"
It took some work and a lot of sweat but the heavy metal desks were rearranged. The group of teenagers reluctantly partnered up.
"I can't believe I got stuck with you," Butch sneered.
Catherine side eyed him. "You're not exactly a prize yourself."
He scoffed and was about to tell her where to shove it when the lights dimmed and the projector came to life. A weird orange blob popped on the screen. "What the-"
"Oh, no," his partner gasped. His head jerked in her direction and he quirked a brow at the absolute panic on her face. She looked like she was going to be sick.
He put another inch of distance between them. "Don't fucking throw up on me or I swear to God-"
"Me? Oh no, Butch, you're gonna be the one throwing up. Trust me."
The picture became clearer as Mr. Brotch fiddled with the lens of the projector until it was as good as it was going to get. Oh, Butch thought as he felt his stomach drop. It wasn't a blob at all. It was-
"Ew! Is that a fetus?!" Christine shrieked.
Catherine raised her hand.
"Mr. Brotch, I would like to request that I sit this one out. I've already seen it with my dad and I would like to avoid the trauma of seeing it again."
"Request denied," he said cheerfully. "Okay, so, we're going to start with a Vault 101 classic 'The Miracle of Life'."
An hour later and all of the men were overwhelmging thankful that they would not have to subject their bodies to whatever the fuck that mess was.
Christine had left for the restroom halfway through and had never returned.
Amata was whispering softly to herself. Something about never getting within three feet of a man and if her father wanted the population in the Vault to grow then he could do it himself.
Catherine had subtly stuffed a tissue in her ears and stared dead eyed at a spot on the floor.
The only one who didn't look traumatized was Mr. Brotch who looked like he had tears in his eyes as the film wrapped to a close. He clicked the projector off and turned back on the lights.
"Well, wasn't that a delightfully informative film! Does anyone have any questions?"
Someone whimpered.
"Alrighty! If you do end up thinking of something just let me know! I've seen this beauty over 20 times. I probably know more about the miracle of birth better than your own father!" He pointed to Catherine who cocked her head slightly and removed the tissue from her ears.
"What?"
"Right. Okay, let's get to the meat of your assignment for the week!" He carefully grabbed one of the hell dolls and hugged it close to his chest. "I'm giving each of you one of these darlings to look after. These top of the line Baby Simulator 3000s were specially made for aiding expecting parents." Mr. Brotch pressed a switch on the fake baby's back. A shrill cry rang through the classroom.
"They're pretty neat!" he chuckled. "They can cry-'' the crying kicked up another notch "babble, drink, and poop!" he patted the baby on the back. A clear liquid ejected from its mouth to splatter over the front of his uniform.
Someone made a gagging noise but Mr. Brotch didn't bat an eyelash as the 'baby' spewed up another glob of slime before saying, "Your assignment is to keep your precious bundle of joy in decent condition for the week. On the last day I'll run a report detailing how much care it was given and your grade will be based on how well you've met its needs."
He carefully cradled the simulated baby closer to himself one handedly. "We'll go through the basics today before the end of class and then you'll be given the next four days off to complete your 'project'."
He surveyed the horrified looking teens in front of him.
"Any questions?"