Song Suggestion: Foxes—"Holding onto Heaven"

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A/N: 400 reviews! Thank you everyone for getting me this far.

The honor of the 400th review goes to cd291104. Here's your imaginary award haha!

Lost and Found

Prim rasped awake, peeling herself away from Cato's bare chest, sticky from tears and sweat. Sometime during the night he removed some of his clothes to get comfortable. His shirt lay crumpled beside them. His belt lay out in a wiggled line beside them, like a coiled snake.

Prim had been barely aware of him taking off the articles of clothing. She spent the night crying into his arms, sobbing in her own world. Something fragile inside broke seeing her sister on the screen.

And for the first time in a long time, she awoke refreshed, drained of the darkness and grief that she had learned to wear.

Cato shifted in his sleep with her movement, and she took the chance to look at him unobserved. His lips hung slightly open, and blond fringe fell into his eyes. During the day, awake and lethal, he didn't resemble his younger self, but in sleep his face softened, giving him a boyish look. A glimpse of what he could have been without the games.

Curiosity touched her, and she gave in, leaning down touching her lips to his. The felt as soft as ever and full. He twitched with the contact, making a little noise. His arm came up subconsciously rubbing on the side of her arm, before letting go. The hand thudded against the floor, hitting his belt.

She wasn't sure what made her look over, maybe it was the soft click of the buckle against the floor. But she did.

"Huh?"

The middle of the belt raised in two lumps on the ground. It could easily be written off as just the structure of the belt, but Prim decided to investigate. It did look a little off.

She reached over and flipped the belt on its side. On the back, the part that would normally face his body was a small pouch attached to the leather.

Prim's heart dropped and then rose. Her fingers reached out and fumbled with the pouch, unsnapping the top.

Something small and silver clattered to the ground.

"What is this?" She whispered out loud, her heart thumping in her ears.

The gravity of her find crashed into her all at once. She had been searching in the wrong place the whole time, like a fool. Why else would he hide it on his belt unless it was of utmost importance? Why else keep it close to his body, safe and secure?

Down to the core of her being, she knew what this was—the pictograph of her Manato, the proof keeping them together by the standards of his district. Or at least, she thought it was. What else could it be?

Cato made a noise as if awakening. In a panic, and without thinking of consequences, Prim stashed it in the pocket of her dress.

The Next Day

The video weighed heavy. It represented a difficult, dangerous decision, one she was unsure of. Her logical side said: of course, Prim, you want to escape. But the other part, the illogical side, the part based on feelings, well it wasn't so sure what it wanted. The thought of escape used to bring her comfort, but for some reason now that it was in her grasp, it made her ill. It made her feel like a liar.

Cato came to her the next day. His eyes searched the ground in his room, searching under his bed and in his closet, even going as far as checking all the pockets of his clothes. His actions were methodical, as usual, but he displayed a hurried, nervousness that gave him away.

"What are you doing?" Prim asked, feigning curiosity, quickly stashing her terror, though the small pictograph burned holes in her pocket.

What would he do if he found it on her? Would he lock her in a room? Prim hadn't thought ahead enough when grabbing the video. She had acted on instinct.

"Looking for something?"

He acted as if he barely registered her, crawling on the ground and lifted the edge of the rug. He sat back as if realizing something. His eyes zeroed in on her. "You haven't found anything, have you?"

Prim gulped, trying to wet her dry throat. Lying never went well for her.

"Found what?" She infused her voice with as much innocence as possible.

His eyes narrowed a moment, and he turned his head in thought. With his inspection, Prim almost started sweating.

Oh God, he knows, is all she could think.

But she must have passed a test of some kind because he got back to work.

"Nothing."

"Do you want me to help you search?"

The muscles in his shoulders tensed up a moment, before he shrugged.

"Sure."

Several Hours Later

They searched the whole house together. In some part of her newly deranged mind, she found the situation funny: searching so thoroughly for something that rested in her pocket. As the day went on, it became easier to lie about it. By the end of the day, she was assured that Cato didn't suspect her.

The last room was Coral's. The little girl treated the situation like a fun new game, crawling on the ground behind her father, acting like she was a bear in the forest. Prim played along, bored of searching for something she knew they would not find.

"I want to go outside," Coral whined after a while, throwing herself into a pile of stuffed animals. "Go with me daddy. Let's go play snowman."

Cato threw her an annoyed look, frowning.

"It's spring. The snow has melted, and besides there's no time for…" he trailed off and looked at Prim, considering her. "What do you say, little bird?"

There was no way she could deny the request, especially when Coral squealed and jumped at her, forcing Prim to catch her.

Ten Minutes Later

Coral grabbed her father's hand on the way out, and Cato let her. Prim couldn't stop the warmth boiling in her heart at the sight. Cato was clearly uncomfortable and unsure, but he held his hand stiffly out for the little one.

When they got outside and walked along the stream, he did the second surprising thing—he lifted Coral up and threw her in the air, catching her on her descent. Her curls wild, her cheeks rosy, she laughed and screamed at the same time.

"Daddy, higher!"

And he did it again and again. Soon the severity in Cato loosened into a smile. And then the smile showed teeth. And then a small chuckle. And then a deep belly laugh.

It was the most beautiful thing Prim had ever witnessed.

An Hour Later

Prim labored up the steep incline. Cato stepped ahead of her. He wasn't even breaking a sweat. Even little bitty Coral seemed to amble up the hill like a floating butterfly. Not for the first time, did she regret getting out of bed. Physical exertion had never, and would never, be her thing.

Prim stopped for a moment, unable to go further. She bent at the waist and gasped for breath.

"Even with training every day, you're still practically useless," Cato teased.

Prim held her hand over her eyes to block the sunlight and tried her best to glare.

"You better be glad I'm too tired to go after you."

"It's just a few steps more, I promise." Then he smirked, "Are you really going to let a four-year-old beat you?"

Prim glared again, but conceded.

She continued.

"This better be worth it."

Several Hours Later

Of course, Cato lied. He always lied. Several hours later and she saw the top of the hill. She didn't let herself get too excited because top-of-hills were deceiving; they usually led to more top-of-hills. Prim was beginning to hate the mountain as if it were a person.

"Damn you," she said with each step, "If you had an eyeball, I'd kick sand in it." Prim figured that since the mountain was made of stone instead of flesh it was okay to threaten it with physical harm.

Finally, Cato turned around. By this point, even he was panting, but in a way that seemed effortless, almost breathless with joy. It made her want to loathe him more out of spite.

"We're here," He said.

"Cover mommy's eyes, daddy! Let it be a surprise." Coral was already at the top and she jumped. Sunlight filtered around her.

When she caught up to him, Cato did just that. His fingers were hot and clammy with exertion when they pressed against her dewy skin.

At the Top of the Hill

The view sucked the breath from her lungs. She apologized to the mountain for all the death threats, because the toil was worth every heaving, aching second. The sky was bigger than she though it was with nothing to block the view. Miles upon miles of hills and greenery. Prim had never seen anything like it.

It made her wonder if this how God felt so close to the clouds. Prim figured it would be closest she could get to glimpsing heaven before she died.

"Beautiful, huh?" Cato said in her ear.

Prim could only nod. Her throat swelled with emotion. There are certain moments in life when we are presented with a scene so majestic every problem seems small, how life seems very fragile and inconsequential to nature. It was there before humanity, and it would be there after.

The top of the mountain was a small plateau. A field of wildflowers freshly sprung from the ground decorated the ground with pops of color. Coral was in the midst of them, sniffing and tearing them out of the ground. Stowaway dirt and roots dripped from their stems.

Cato sat and patted the ground beside him. His legs dangled over the edge of the mountain. Prim wasn't as brave as him and sat a few feet back.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate heights. They make my stomach feel as if someone is shaking it."

It was vulnerable what she said to him. She just handed him a tool that could hurt her, if he wanted. It was an olive branch of trust.

Cato gave her a long look before scooting backwards to sit with her. He still put his legs straight out in front of him, crossing one foot over the other, putting his hands behind him and leaned back. Sunlight glinted off his hair. It stuck her how pretty it was. Hers used to be blonder as a child, but as she got older it became stuck between the two as if undecided if it wanted to be dark or light.

If they ever did have a child, she hoped it would inherit its father's hair. The ease with which she thought this startled her. The idea of a family with the lion of district 2 used to be repugnant to her. Prim was trying to figure out when that changed.

"This is my peace," he said. The wind whistled in her ear with his words.

Yes, it was peace.

Though, at the same time, she glanced at the sharp drop off before her and briefly imagined herself freefalling and crashing into the forest miles below. It made her ill just thinking of it.

"A dangerous peace."

"Isn't every peace dangerous?"

Prim considered that and agreed. Behind peace was time, just waiting to snatch it away. Peace is hope, and hope can be damaging. The stronger the happiness, the worse the tragedy.

"My peace is the woods." Prim decided to share, "The ones just outside our district. They are so dark and quiet it's easy to forget the world." She glanced up into the sunlight until it hurt to look, "The lake was my favorite though. My father used to bring me there when I was little to swim. And then my sister did."

Prim didn't mention Gale. He took over when her sister left off.

"I know," he says after a little bit.

"How?"

"I know a lot about you. More than you think."

Wariness crept up, but she shoved it back down. The instinct didn't do her any good, even though what he said made her insides jolt with warning. Prim decided to ignore it and move unto a different subject. She didn't want to ruin the mood. This dangerous peace they had.

"So did you ever find what you were looking for?" Prim figured the more she brought it up, the less he would suspect her.

Cato's eyes narrowed into an emotion she couldn't identify, and it caused her body to briefly spasm into tremors of fear.

"In fact, I did."

Did he know? No, he couldn't of?

But then he leaned closer towards her.