He missed her terribly the day she was ill.
Her looks, her wit, them exchanging smiles and their small jokes about Thomas and Miss O'Brien.
He missed her so much, he dared to bring a tray of food upstairs. He just longed for a glimpse of her beautiful eyes and her beautiful smile, her lips ...
No.
Don't think of her lips!
He wasn't allowed to think of her like this, so ... so craving.
But then she had opened and had blown his mind away. She was so gorgeous in her night gown, hair down and with this shocked look on her face. But then she had looked happy, pleased even, as she accepted the tray from him.
And John wanted to say something, really, he wanted to say how much he missed her downstairs, how much he liked her, how much he wished the circumstances would be different. How much he wished he could just come in, enter the area that was forbidden for men, and talk to her until she felt better. Read to her. Maybe massage her feet again.
He wanted to show her what she meant to him. How much he appreciated her kindness and support, her friendship and her smile that always, always brightened up his day.
Yes, exactly the smile she gave him right now. Sweet, light, innocent, beautiful.
Oh, how he loved her.
But then his thoughts were interrupted by a noise, and Anna quickly vanished back to her room, leaving John back quite agitated.
Love? Had he really thought that? Did he actually love her?
He tried to compare this feeling he had for Anna with the feelings he once had for Vera, but they were different. It felt different.
Stronger. Truer. Better.
He wanted to keep Anna from harm, wanted to protect her, he wanted her happy. He didn't care about himself, only for her. As long as she was happy, he'd be happy.
She was important. He wasn't. She was the one who still had a chance of happiness and he wanted her to grab it.
Anna was taken aback as Mr. Bates asked her when she would be having her next evening off.
"Not in another ten years," she chuckled. "I can ask for a free night of course. But why?"
"It's a surprise," Mr. Bates said with a smile. "Can you tell me as soon as you know when you're free?"
"Sure," Anna replied, her heart beating fast. What did he have in mind? Did he want to go out with her? No. No, he would ask her if she wanted to. He was a gentleman, he'd ask her.
But still, he had something in mind. Something that he wanted to do with her. Only with her.
Or were there others involved?
Anna was nervous but as she asked Gwen a while later as they were preparing Lady Edith's room, she had no idea. Instead her eyes started to shine. "He's asked you out? Seriously?"
"Not exactly," Anna replied, blushing deeply. "He just said I should tell him when I'll be free. He hasn't asked me out nor told me what he had in mind. I'm sure it's nothing."
"But he hasn't asked me anything either. I'm sure he has something planned for you." Gwen clapped her hands. "Do you remember the talk we've had around a year ago? Where I've asked you how we are supposed to find husbands if we aren't allowed to go out and meet men? Well, Anna Smith doesn't need to go out, Anna Smith finds her man at Downton abbey!"
"Shh!" Anna made but she was laughing. Oh, if Gwen was only right.
If she was only right ...
The next day she walked down with a beating heart. She had waited some time to ask Lord Grantham for a night off, scared to catch him in the wrong moment. But then she had just asked him before bed time and, as she had already thought, he was like always, nice and polite. He had told her that surely she could have one night off, after all she never asked for a free day.
He also asked her if she had something planned, knowing that, if Anna was meeting anyone, he had to know whom and where they would be going.
Anna had blushed and mumbled that a friend would surprise her and she didn't know where he would take her yet.
Lord Grantham was suspicious first, but as he heard that this friend of her was Bates, his face changed and Anna knew that she was allowed to go because he trusted him. He trusted Mr. Bates completely.
So Anna went downstairs the next morning and told Mr. Bates that she had tomorrow night off and that he didn't need to ask Lord Grantham anymore, because he had already given him that night off as well.
"You asked him for permission for me?" Bates asked in surprise and Anna shook her head.
"I asked him for myself and he said yes. As he wanted to know what I had in mind, I told him I was going out with a ... a friend." She smiled at Bates, who nodded. They were friends after all. "He wanted to know which friend it was ... so I said it was you. He liked that, he really did. And then he told me he would give you the night off as well."
"You're a witch, right?" Mr. Bates asked, smiling. "A good witch."
"Maybe I am," Anna joked, "but please don't let me burn at a stake."
"I'd never," Bates said quietly and reached up. For a second Anna thought he would touch her cheek or her hair, but mid-air he stopped himself and let his hand sink down again. "Meet me tomorrow after dinner. What about eight?"
"Perfect," Anna breathed. "But please tell me, where are we going?"
Bates smiled mysteriously. "It's a surprise."
"Are the others involved?"
"No, it's only you and me."
Anna's heart stopped beating for a second. Only you and me.
"I'm curious," she then said, hoping he hadn't caught her pausing for a moment.
"You'll see," Mr. Bates replied, still smiling.
As he turned around and walked away with his limp, Anna looked after him with her hand on her chest, in which her heart was throwing somersaults. She had no idea how she had deserved this honour of Mr. John Bates going out with her in the evening.
Well, at least she hoped he really wanted to take her out, not just tease her. But then again, why would he tease her? She was his friend, he liked her and he respected her. He wouldn't be able to tease her.
He had massaged her feet, he wasn't able to tease.
Anna couldn't wait for the next day to arrive and pass by ... but first she had to survive the day that had started only before.
"I heard you will be taking Anna out," Lord Grantham said while John was brushing his jacket.
"She deserves it, my lord," the valet replied and Lord Grantham nodded.
"You're right of course and so do you. I hope it is alright for you that she told me about it, after all I need to know with whom she'll be going, just in case."
"Of course, it is for her own safety," John replied and really, he couldn't agree more with Lord Grantham.
"Exactly. But now I know that I don't have to worry about her, as you'll be with her."
"Indeed. And thank you for letting us go alone, my lord. Without a ... chaperone."
Lord Grantham chuckled lightly and John knew why. They were adults and he trusted them enough not to do anything inappropriate.
Or was it because he doubted them doing anything inappropriate?
Either way he let them go alone, something he wouldn't have done if, for example, William and Daisy had asked for a night off together.
"May I be curious enough to ask what you have in plan?"
"Of course, my lord," John replied and smiled to himself. "I got tickets for the cinema a while ago ... for my birthday last year. Sadly I got two tickets, with the intention to take someone with me. I got them from my mother, you see."
"I see." Lord Grantham grinned. "Your mother wants you to take a lady to the cinema."
"She does, my lord. I have waited for a while but now I have to use them, otherwise they'll soon be invalid."
"And you're taking Anna. That is very generous of you."
"She and I are friends, my lord, and as I said already, she deserves some time off. She works very hard and takes to little breaks."
"Oh, I agree," Lord Grantham said immediately. "But she's happy, isn't she?"
"She is, my lord."
Lord Grantham eyed his valet. "Are you happy too, Bates?"
"I am, my lord," Mr. Bates replied, his mind only with Anna. How couldn't he be happy with someone like her in his life? "I am very happy."
Anna was standing on front of her mirror, pinning her hair into a different bun than she usually wore, it had lasted longer to braid and was set higher on her head.
She had decided to wear her yellow sunflower dress and her usual beige coat over it.
"You look very normal," Gwen told her as she entered their room.
"I have a different hairdo," Anna said and turned around.
"I would put on a little make up, if I were you," Gwen said.
"But why?" Anna asked and looked back into the mirror again. "Am I that ugly?"
"Not at all but one should wear make up on a rendezvous," Gwen explained.
"It's not a rendezvous, Gwen," Anna said, couldn't hide a blush though. She wished it was ...
"It could be. Put one some rouge and make sure to turn it into one."
Anna had to giggle. "You're silly. He definitely wouldn't want that."
"You don't know that," Gwen said with a grin. "You would like it though, isn't it so?"
"Of course," Anna sighed. "I would like that very much." She looked into herself for a minute that felt like an eternity. "Okay," she then said softly. "But only a little."
Gwen squealed.
Anna had no idea why on earth Gwen even possessed rouge and eye shadow but fact was, she did.
After she had finished, Anna didn't recognise herself anymore, even though Gwen really hadn't used a lot.
"I look -," Anna started.
"Fantastic!" Gwen shouted. "Could you let your hair down?"
"You can't be serious!" Anna said, completely perplex. "I needed so long for this hairdo and no, since I am already wearing make up, I can't possibly undo my hair."
"You're only wearing a little make up," Gwen said. "Apart from that, your chance of turning the meeting into a rendezvous could be bigger if you let your hair down."
"I have no time for this," Anna sighed and turned around, taking a look at the clock.
Then she jumped up. It was ten after eight. "Holy mackerel, I am too late already! I do hope he hasn't left without me."
"He's still waiting, you will see," Gwen promised and smiled at her friend. "You look beautiful."
"Not like a prostitute?" Anna asked, which made Gwen laugh.
"Honestly, Anna? People who don't see you every day won't even notice you're wearing make up."
"I have to believe you now," Anna sighed. "I'm off, then."
"Have fun," Gwen said with a broad grin. "And remember ... try to -"
"Turn it into a rendezvous," Anna finished with a smile. "I don't think so but we will see. Bye, Gwen."
John was waiting anxiously. She was late, fifteen minutes already. Of course fifteen minutes wasn't that bad but still she was late. Maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe she had forgotten about him. Maybe she had realised that she didn't want to go out with a crippled, old -
"Mr. Bates."
His heart stood still as he turned around to see the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.
"Anna," he managed to say.
The vision in front of him smiled. "Good evening. I'm sorry for my delay, I can tell you what happened, if you want to know."
"There's no need," he said. She looked simply beautiful. Her cheeks looked rosier than usual and her eyelids were darker too, a soft shade of brown. She looked natural but he was sure she had done something to her face.
He wished to tell her that she didn't need to wear make up, as she was always beautiful, but he didn't know if it was appropriate.
"Where are we headed?" Anna asked.
"At first we'll go to the town, then take a bus to York."
"To York, how exciting," Anna said. "What are we going to do?"
"It's still a surprise," John said, then he offered her his arm. Anna smiled and accepted the offer, linking their arms as they had done last time in the garden.