Ahsoka deeply appreciated that Anakin offered to pilot a speeder to her house. It meant that she didn't have to deal with the elevators going down. As they sped through the afternoon, however, Ahsoka could tell that something was on the Jedi's mind, something that was making him anxious. She tried to ask about it, but he had turned to her and stared at her with eyes that told her 'Not here', so she had fallen silent and waited.
Sure enough, when Anakin parked the speeder on the street next to her building, he climbed out and joined her going inside. They moved swiftly and silently, walking quickly to Ahsoka's floor. Only when the door sealed and locked behind them did Anakin seem to relax.
Ahsoka walked towards the kitchen to grab water for both of them. Anakin wanted to help her but knew it was a one-person job, so he just sat on the couch and waited for her. It was probably better this way, anyways. He needed to mentally prepare for what was coming next.
She returned with two glasses, and he thanked her quietly before taking a drink. Unfortunately, his hand was shaking, so he set the glass down before Ahsoka realized.
Which she did anyway. "What's got you so worried?" she asked, setting down her own glass.
Anakin just leaned over and folded his hands on his knees. He didn't meet her eyes for a while, and Ahsoka knew that this was big. She didn't say anything but gave him time to think.
Eventually, after almost a full minute, he spoke in a low voice, just barely above a whisper. "No one else is here, right?"
Ahsoka shook her head, turning her head to make sure the blinds were drawn. It was a little after 3 in the afternoon, and most people were still at work. Still, though, they couldn't be too careful.
Anakin sighed. "Just don't...freak out, okay?" He knew he had no right to ask for something like that, especially about something this big, but he felt like if Ahsoka panicked he would do the same, and it was already taking a lot of impulse control to keep his cool.
She nodded, but she still didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Anakin just needed to think, and that was easier if she kept quiet.
Anakin's thoughts were swirling about in his head. He had no idea how to say this. There wasn't one easy way to tell her that wasn't blunt or sudden. Ahsoka was starting to get seriously worried, and was about to ask if he was okay when finally, he just blurted it out: "Padmé's pregnant."
It took all of Ahsoka's self-control to not squeal like a complete fool, but she couldn't keep the surprise off her face. She did, however, let three words slip out of her mouth. "I knew it!" She whisper-yelled, drawing her knees up to her chin.
Anakin's neck turned so quickly it popped. "What?!"
"Well," Ahsoka amended, "I knew that you and Padmé had something going on, but I didn't know about this part of it. This...this is..." She couldn't finish her sentence but laughed just a little bit. She couldn't contain her joy.
It wasn't the reaction Anakin had expected, but she hadn't been disapproving or disappointed, and that lifted all of his worries from his shoulders. Then a horrifying thought occurred to him. "Wait, if you knew, then..."
Ahsoka gained control over herself when she realized that this could be bad. She calmed down and reassured him, "Don't worry. I just saw a lot more of you two, especially together, than most people."
"Do you think Obi-Wan knows, then? He was there for the Battle of Geonosis, and we got married right after that."
Internally, Ahsoka was screaming. She hadn't realized their relationship was somewhat official, but she kept quiet about it. "If he does know, he hasn't said anything about it. So you haven't told him yet?"
"He's on the Council. He would have to report to the others if he knew."
It was true. He had a responsibility to the Council for things like that. Obi-Wan was obligated to tell the Council if he knew a Jedi was breaking the Code.
"So when is the baby due?" Ahsoka asked, changing the subject a little bit.
Anakin stared at her blankly. "How should I know?"
This poor guy knows nothing about children, Ahsoka realized. "How long has Padmé been pregnant?"
"About five months, why?"
"Well, human children are born after nine months, so the baby would be due in about four months from today."
Four months. It seemed like so far away now, but now that Anakin had an approximate time, it seemed a lot more real. Too real. "Ahsoka, what am I going to do? I...I have no idea what I'm doing."
Ahsoka had to admit that he was right. It seemed like she knew more about childbirth than he did, which was surprising since she was not married and she was definitely not expecting a child. The irony of the situation was that she was allowed to have a family if she wanted to, and Anakin wasn't. That's what has him so worried.
"Does Padmé have a plan for after the child is born?" she asked him.
Anakin nodded, looking down again. "Her parents and her sister are going to hide them on Naboo, so they'll stay a secret. She's going to start sending her decoy to Senate meetings soon."
"And you've been keeping this a secret all by yourself?"
He nodded again but didn't speak this time. Ahsoka momentarily tapped into their bond, and she felt his fear, not for his own sake, but for something else. She couldn't tell what, though.
She leaned towards him, daring to ask, "What is it?"
Shaking his head, Anakin sat back on the couch and leaned his head back on the backrest. He stared at the ceiling, trying to find the words to sum up what he was going through. He knew, though, that the hardest part about this was trusting Ahsoka to see him so vulnerable. She had done the same with him earlier, though, so looked at her and told her.
"How am I supposed to be a father? I can't even be with the child, not with the Jedi Order. I...I've never even had a father to begin with. The closest thing I've ever had is Obi-Wan, but he's a Jedi, just like me. What's a father supposed to be?"
Ahsoka didn't really have an answer. She hadn't ever known her father either, and all of the adult male figures in her life were Jedi too. They were both orphans and neither of them was dependent on another adult anymore.
All she could say was what crossed her mind. "Maybe it's enough to just be there."
"But I won't be there, Ahsoka. I'll be here."
"You'll exist, though," she argued. "You'll care about them, and you'll be alive. That's more than what we have."
Anakin didn't respond, but let Ahsoka's words turn over in his head. It was especially true in his case since his father didn't even exist. He had no father. He was born of the Force to his mother. He remembered the years he had spent as Obi-Wan's Padawan, not having seen his mother in years but knowing that she was still out there, on Tatooine, and that she loved him.
"Do you really think that will be enough?" He asked her, meeting her eyes.
Ahsoka smiled. "You are one of the greatest Generals in the Republic, and one of the strongest Jedi in history. You've saved millions of lives, and you already love this child who isn't even born yet. Any kid would be proud of a father like that."
A grin slowly spread on Anakin's face. He pulled Ahsoka close to his side with his left arm and rested his head against her montrals. They rested like that for a while, and Anakin repeated her words over and over in his head. Any kid would be proud of a father like that. If Ahsoka believed it, then maybe it was possible.
There really wasn't any way to know, not until it was real. Anakin had no idea how he could possibly learn to care for a baby, especially one so small and fragile. It was going to be completely new to him, but he had Padmé to help him, and now he had Ahsoka, too.
Ahsoka, on the other hand, was imagining Anakin and Padmé holding a small little baby Skywalker-Amidala in their arms. Would the child look like Anakin, or more like Padmé, or would it be hard to tell when they were just born? Ahsoka didn't really know, since she had as much experience with childbirth as Anakin, or the lack thereof. She hoped she could get a picture of them holding the child. And what would they name the baby? Had Anakin thought about that or had he not gotten there yet? Probably not. Padmé would probably be on top of baby names, though. Ahsoka wished she could get together with the Senator again.
They pulled away and sat up straight. Ahsoka turned to him and asked, "How has Padmé been doing, by the way? When was the last time you saw her?"
Anakin rested an arm on the back of the couch and faced Ahsoka. "Right after we went to Halda's, actually. It was only a couple days later, and I haven't seen her since."
Ahsoka thought back to the flight down under the surface. "I think I saw her ship landing at the Senate building earlier."
"For real?" He sat up, his mind reeling. "Mortis, I hope so."
Fighting off giggles at how cute her favorite couple was, or her OTP, as Wheeler would have called it, Ahsoka briefly imagined them kissing. Just briefly, though. If they though Jyla was cute, they had no idea what Ahsoka now knew.
"It was her idea to tell you, by the way," Anakin admitted. "When I told her you were living down here now, she started asking all about you. I think she likes you or something."
Ahsoka laughed, smacking him on the arm lightly for his sarcasm. "It's been so long since I've talked to her. The closest I've gotten was when she made that statement about Sideous."
"I'll let her know that I told you about us. Maybe she can get you out of work and to Naboo for a rotation or two. The Father knows she needs some extra company right now."
Ahsoka smiled and nodded. "Just ask her to wait a week or so. I don't think Fuller appreciated that I ran out of the building and didn't come back the day after."
"If you need a reference or something, I can stop by and talk to him."
She waved him off. "It's fine, I can deal with him. As long as I make sure I do my full forty hours this week, he won't harp on me that much."
They talked for a while longer, but soon, Anakin had to go back to the surface and Ahsoka had to call her boss. They scarfed down a quick early dinner, then Anakin headed out the door as swiftly as he had come in.
As he started up the speeder again, he looked back at Ahsoka's house. It was a huge burden off his mind, knowing that someone else was on his side. It was a lot easier to keep a secret when someone else knew about it.
The wind whipped his hair against his head, but Anakin was focused on what lay ahead of him. In four months, Padmé was going to give birth to a child, his child. He didn't know if he was going to be the father his son or daughter deserved, but he knew he was going to try, and that Padmé and Ahsoka would be behind him, helping as much as they could. What would it look like, ten years from now? Would Ahsoka still be working at the same shop, visiting Naboo to see the ten-year-old kid running around Padmé's old house? Would the war finally be over by then? How often would he be able to go to Naboo with Padmé? There was no telling what would happen, but Anakin was hopeful that it would be incredible. It didn't have to be perfect, but all of a sudden, he was no longer stuck looking back and wishing he could turn back time. Now, he was looking forwards, and right now, the present was enough for today.