There was maybe nothing that Anna loved more than walking with Mr. Bates.
But as they got on the bus, Anna was sure she loved sitting next to him on the bus even more.
Sometimes they were talking, sometimes they sat in silence that wasn't uncomfortable at all. They were definitely enjoying each other's company, not always were words needed.
As they reached York and got out at the desired bus stop, Mr. Bates finally told Anna what he wanted to do.
"Last year on my birthday," he started, "my mother gave me two tickets for the theatre. I wanted to go with her but she wanted me to take someone else. And I -"
"And you're taking me, Mr. Bates?" Anna was smiling broad. "I feel honoured, really."
"I enjoy your company," Mr. Bates said. "A lot, Anna. That's why I wanted to take you."
"I enjoy your company too," Anna said gently and then, after a small pause, she added, "was I ... the only one you had in mind?"
"What do you mean?" Bates asked but then he realised what she meant. "Oh, you're asking ... yes, Anna. There is no one else I would or could have taken."
Anna was too nervous to reply. Was this really happening?
Make sure to turn it into a rendezvous!
This Gwen.
As if it was that easy! Mr. Bates was an older man with way more experience regarding ... probably everything.
If he had been married? Anna wondered. She looked at him, his hands were free of a ring, but his face looked ever so tense.
Besides when he was looking at her ... only then he looked as if he was at peace.
Like now.
Anna couldn't deny there was something between them; the way he looked at her was so ... satisfying. As if he had never seen anything more gorgeous.
She liked it. She liked it a lot.
She liked him a lot. Maybe she did even more than just like him.
Anna had never felt anything like this before.
She was nice to people I general, believed in the good in people, accepted others like they were. And usually those people liked her back, were nice to her, liked her back.
But this was different.
So different.
Her heart wanted to burst whenever she set eyes on him and the wonderful thing was that he seemed to always look at her.
Anna wondered if someone else noticed too, but she definitely had.
There was a warmth when he looked at her, a warmth that could only mean he liked her too. Hopefully.
Anna had spent hours lying awake, wondering why he looked at her like that. Did he have a sister that she reminded him of? A cousin? His mother? His wife? His ... daughter? It was possible.
Or perhaps he fancied her?
Anna didn't think so but it was nice to believe.
"Thanks for taking me here," she said as they stood in the queue that had built in front of the cinema. "I haven't watched a film in years, last time when Lady Sybil persuaded his Lordship to allow her to go there and she had no one else to go with her. That was around five years ago, I was pretty scared to be alone in York with the young Lady Sybil. But it all worked out fine."
"You're a friend of them," Mr. Bates spoke gently. "How couldn't you? You're -"
And he went silent.
"I am?" Anna asked quietly, looking up to him. Her heart was beating and her eyes widened in fear, she was what? "Mr. Bates, I am what?"
"Nothing, Anna. I was about to embarrass you and myself. Let's pretend as if I haven't said a word."
"I won't make fun of you, Mr. Bates," Anna said. "You know you can tell me."
"I know. And I also know you wouldn't make fun of me, but I rather not say it."
Anna understood that he was uncomfortable talking about what he had wanted to say, thus she didn't urge him. Even though she was curious of what he had intended to say, she respected his pride.
"What are we going to watch?" she asked instead and Mr. Bates smiled, thankful for the change of subject.
"You can decide. It's either Atlantis or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, they are playing both tonight, only the second one a little later."
"Oh, have you read The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?" Anna asked with shining eyes. "I loved it. I would love to watch that one!"
Mr. Bates chuckled. "Very well. And yes, I've read it. The book was relatively new when I was at school, I had to read it."
"It was published the year I was born," Anna said. "How old were you back then, Mr. Bates?"
He swallowed lightly. "Seventeen."
"So that would make you forty-four?" Anna asked, not a hint of rejection in her eyes nor voice. Only curiosity was what he saw and heard there.
"Exactly," he said quietly. "You now must think I'm really old."
"Are you kidding? Of course I don't think that. I knew there had to be a reason why I feel attracted to you. I've always thought that men older than me are more handsome."
While her eyes never left him, her cheeks went deep red. John could also feel the blood rush to his throat and ears. "What?" he could only breathe.
"What?" Anna asked back, her lips curled into a smile. And then she did something very daring - she slipped her hand into his.
His throat was dry as he entwined his fingers with hers.
No! What are you doing?
He quickly pulled his hand away. "Let's get inside," he muttered and turned away from her, walking to the counter to redeem the tickets.
Anna stared after him for a few seconds before walking after him with light steps.
She didn't feel discouraged, as she had noticed that he had blushed. She had told him that she was attracted to him - and he had blushed. Anna smiled. Of course he had taken his hand away from her, he thought of himself as too old for her. She had seen it as she had guessed his age. "Mr. Bates, wait," she called as she reached him. "Why are you running away?"
"As if I could," Mr. Bates said bitterly, but Anna could see a glimpse of amusement in his eyes. "The knee."
"Why are you walking away then, Mr. Bates?" Anna rephrased her question and without waiting for acknowledgement she linked her arm with his. "I thought we would watch the film together?"
"Of course we are," Bates said softly and smiled down at her. "I'm sorry for walking away."
"Was it because of what I said? I'm sorry but sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain. If I've offended you in any way by saying I'm attracted to you, I am deeply sorry -"
"God, no. No, you couldn't offend me with something like this. You surprised me ... but you didn't offend me."
"Good," Anna said with a light grin. There were more things she wanted to tell him.
But those had to wait.
Bates gave the tickets to the receptionist, telling her they wanted to see Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The lady told them to go inside, to hall B.
"They already have two halls, that's so exciting," Anna said with shining eyes. "When I was here with Lady Sybil, they had only one. But now they can play two films at the same time, isn't that amazing?"
Mr. Bates had to smile. Sometimes he was out of words for how beautiful, sweet and innocent she was.
Innocent?
What a strange choice of words, he thought.
"When will the film start?" Anna asked and Mr. Bates checked his pocket watch. "In forty-five minutes. Do you want to eat something?"
"Oh, I would love that," Anna accepted his offer. "Where do you want to go?"
"We can't go far away," he said, "what about that food van next to the theatre? Do you like fish and chips?"
"Well, who doesn't?" Anna giggled quietly. The truth was, she didn't often have the chance to eat outside. Never, even.
Mrs. Patmore always cooked for the servants and London was the only time she had the chance to eat outside. And that didn't happen that often either. "But won't we have to show our tickets again when we go inside?"
"Let me manage that," Mr. Bates told her and walked back to the entrance, starting to talk to the lady who had torn off the tickets. Then he turned to Anna and waved her with a smile.
Obviously happy Anna walked to him with her usual jumping walk. He loved everything about her, starting with her walk.
Then, her face. Her voice. Her hair. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her humour. Her beautiful, gorgeous mind.
He swallowed hard.
Had he ever felt for Vera like this? Even for a second?
There had been times when he had craved for her but still the way he craved for Anna felt different.
Because I didn't love Vera. I may have wanted her but I didn't love her. But I love Anna ... she's everything to me. Everything holy.
And when she had reached him she linked their arms again without asking. His heart wanted to burst.
She is everything I ever wanted and needed in my life.
They walked to the food van without sharing a word. They didn't have to. They just had to share a look and knew they were thinking the same.
John paid their food, telling her she was invited. Anna first didn't want to accept but as he insisted to pay, she offered to pay their bus ride home.
"Fine," John sighed. "You're a stubborn woman."
"You're not the first one to tell me," Anna replied cheerfully.
She was always cheerful. How could one always be that cheerful?
Well, at least she was always happy around him. And that made him happy. It seemed like a give and take. An unsaid arrangement between them that, if one of them was happy, that person would share their happiness with the other. And mostly it was her who was sharing her cheerfulness with him.
It was amazing. She made him feel better indeed.
Only sitting there, watching her eat made his heart burst with happiness.
Anna of course noticed that he was looking at her, so she looked up at him. "What?" she laughed. "Do I have something in my face?"
"You do, yes," John replied. "It's brown and on your eyes."
"Oh," Anna said and looked away. "Gwen. She insisted on testing her make up skills on me."
"So it wasn't your idea to wear it?"
"No, never. Gwen thought it was necessary and that was why I came down too late. Does it look ridiculous?"
"Not at all," he replied. "It's just an unusual sight, as you never wear any make up. But ..." he stopped for a moment to gain some courage, "You're beautiful either way," he then breathed and carefully reached up to place his hand on her cheek. He caressed the rosy spot on her fair skin, where Gwen had probably thought she was too pale. His breath stopped as Anna reached up to take his hand into hers. Once again she tried holding his hand, not intending to let him go this time.
And he didn't intend to pull back.
Why should he? He loved her.
He caressed her fingers, wondering why she didn't wear gloves today. She usually wore them when she went out. His heart skipped a beat as he realised that it was probably so she could feel the touch of his skin.
They gazed into each other's eyes, totally forgetting the fish in their hands.
Finally one of them was courageous enough to speak. "You think I'm beautiful?" Anna asked quietly.
"On the inside and on the outside," Mr. Bates replied. "If it wasn't for you, Anna, I would have left already. Or at least I wouldn't have cared as his Lordship made me leave. Remember before, Anna? When I said you were friends with the girls?"
Anna nodded.
"I didn't want to embarrass you or myself but I'll just say it now. I think you're perfect. You're wonderful and you're beautiful and nice and gentle and I have never met a human better than you."
"I'm speechless," Anna whispered. Her face was the shade of her rouge by now.
"That's a first," Bates chuckled. "But you don't have to say anything. Just think of what I've said."
Anna nodded and then continued eating, her hand never leaving his.
They had eaten in silence.
They had not let go of each other's hands until they were seated in hall B.
And when the film started, Anna longed to reach for his hand again but feared it was inappropriate.
She had felt some looks on them. Judging looks probably, but she couldn't care less.
But she knew that Mr. Bates cared. She knew he was worried about their age gap and God knew what else.
But she knew she didn't care.
She loved him, seventeen years older or not. Limping or not. She loved him and nothing could change that.