Kotonoha opened her eyes. She was hardly surprised that her hand was inside her panties again.

Was it Makoto-kun who was doing this to her? She had never done anything like this before, and now she could hardly go a night without waking up all hot and wet. This wasn't normal.

Kotonoha reached up and touched her chest. Through the thin fabric, she could feel her nipples had grown hard.

In the past she may have resisted the urge, but at this point she pretty much knew it was pointless. Whether she resisted or not, she woke up soaking wet every morning fantasizing about Makoto.

And it felt so good to touch, so why would she stop doing it? Besides, if she could push herself over the edge, maybe the frustration would go away? Or at least it could lessen a bit.

She closed her eyes again, trying to get back to the dream.

Kotonoha pulled down the straps so her chest was freed. She fondled her chest with her free hand.

As she played with herself, she whispered his name.

They were gonna go shopping today.

Would he push her inside the dressing room and force her to strip down in front of him?

He definitely would. Why else would he go with her? To a boy, shopping was utterly boring.

She worked her fingers faster.

Makoto would have to touch her to see if everything fit well. A bikini could not be too tight or too loose.

Kotonoha roughly pulled down her panties and kicked them off so she could touch herself more easily.

"Strip."

"Yes."

With shaking fingers, she undid the buttons of her blouse. Her hands reached back to undo her bra.

When she reached her skirt, she hesitated.

Tired of her slowness, Makoto pushed her against the wall. He bunched up her short skirt around her waist. She wasn't wearing panties beneath it. Her own fluids were already running down her thighs.

Kotonoha bit her lip. "It's you who did this to me."

He reached out to touch her between her legs.

Would he touch her the same way she did herself? Or would he be more rough with her? He would do it harder, right? Or would be be more hesitant? Maybe he'd worry about her and do it softly, making sure not to hurt her.

"What do you want, Kotonoha?"

"I… I don't know."

"Figure it out, Kotonoha. Which way do you like it?"

"I…"

She slowed down. This felt good too. Different, but good as well. Doing it very slow made her all the more aware of what she was doing. When she did it fast, it was easy to forget. But on an agonisingly slow speed, she was acutely aware of how dirty and wrong this was. And she could not deny how much she enjoyed how immoral it felt.

"Do it however you want to, Makoto-kun," she begged.

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."

"But…"

"You don't let me. You're too much of a prude to let me do this to you. But deep down, we both know this is what you want, right?"

She opened her eyes again, gasping for breath.

Holy crap.

She suddenly wasn't in the mood to keep going anymore. Her arousal had leaked out completely.

That dream was so weird, why had it changed tone like that?

She already knew of course. It was her own guilt. While she was getting off fantasising, Makoto got nothing.

Kotonoha got out of bed. It was still a bit early, but she might as well start to get ready for her date. She'd need some time anyway.

First, she took a long shower. She washed her hair twice and spent a lot of time brushing and drying it until it fell perfectly smooth over her shoulders. After that, she got dressed.

Maybe I should get some new underwear, she thought as she hooked her aqua blue bra. You never knew when Makoto-kun would see it. And she didn't want him to think she was a little kid. Something more adult with less bright colors might be better.

Kotonoha tested out several outfits before settling on a short skirt and a white blouse. The skirt was even shorter than the one she had worn on their first date. If she bend over completely, he would be able to see her panties. Of course she wasn't going to bend over, but still.

Kotonoha buttoned the blouse up from below, but stopped much earlier than she would usually do. If you came close enough, you could look down and see her bra. But only Makoto was likely to come near enough for that.

She went back to the bathroom to apply some makeup.

There was still some time left, but she didn't want to be late so she went downstairs after that.

Having breakfast wasn't easy. She was so nervous her stomach had twisted into a knot and she could hardly hold anything inside.

What if she screwed up again? She had already ruined one date, if she ruined this one as well, there was little chance he would want to go on a third date.

And how going shopping a date? She really shouldn't have asked him that. What girl dragged a boy with her to go shopping on a second date? Her mom didn't even ask dad to go shopping with her and they were married for over a decade.

Kotonoha sighed deeply.

About halfway through her cereal, she gave up trying to force more food in her mouth. She threw the rest away and retrieved her handbag.

It was still a bit early, but she didn't want to be late.

Kotonoha put on her shoes and went outside.

She felt her heartbeat go up slightly on the short walk to the station.

Calm down, she told herself. This was no big deal. At this hour, the streets were perfectly safe.

Luckily, there were several people on her train, reassuring her a bit. Very little could happen if you were surrounded by people. At least, that is what she told herself.

She tried reading her book on the train ride, but her eyes stayed on the exact same page all the way. All too soon, the train slowed down at her stop. Instinctively, she tried to reach for Makoto, but he wasn't there. Then, she suddenly realised she didn't need to. Her balance was fine, she was not falling at all.

Kotonoha looked down. Her legs were perfectly stable.

Very strange. Normally she could never keep her balance and now…

Oh wait.

She quickly got off the train before the doors could close.

Really, she shouldn't let herself get distracted by these stupid things, she'd almost missed her stop.

Kotonoha walked to the spot where they had agreed to meet.

Fifteen nerve-wrecking minutes later, Makoto arrived. He was about five minutes earlier than the time they had agreed upon.

"Makoto-kun."

"Oh, hey Kotonoha. You look good."

She hugged him to hide her blush.

Her body responded to hug very quickly.

At this point, touching him, hearing his voice, seeing him or even just thinking about him made her wet. Her nipples had already grown hard beneath her blouse. Luckily her bra hid that, but she couldn't help but feel like Makoto could sense her arousal somehow.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure."

They went into Sakakino Hills.

Makoto took her hand, which made her even more wet.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No," she lied. "Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem."

She took a deep breath. She really had to calm down.

He guided her to a store which specialised in swimsuits (Jo-Q Hands).

They had every possible color and pattern she could think of (and also the ones she couldn't think of). They also had a wide range of sizes, which was kinda important to her. They would definitely find something suitable here.

"So, what do you like?" Kotonoha asked.

"You," he replied.

She blushed. Kotonoha really hoped he could not see how hot her body was.

"Oh sorry, were you talking about swimsuits?" he asked, smiling mischievous.

"You know I was."

"Well, first things first: what's your size?"

"Ye, you can't ask a girl questions like that."

"Well we do need to find something in your size, right? It's useless to say if I like something if it doesn't fit."

"Well what size do you think I am?" she asked.

"Difficult to say without touching them."

Was it even possible to blush more?

How would it feel if he touched them? Would it feel different from when she touched them herself? Didn't she secretly want him to touch her?

If she didn't why would she get so wet for him?

"Eyes only," she said in a weak voice. "No touching."

He smiled. "So I can look as much as I want?"

She blushed even harder. "I guess it's okay if you just look."

He wasn't really harming her if he just looked, right? And if anything, she had put on this outfit so he would look at her, so it was a bit cruel to tell him he couldn't.

"A-Anyway, my size is 95E."

"Wow."

"W-What?"

"Nothing. So uhm, let's look around."

Her size turned out to be impossible to find. Was she that exceptional? They were pretty big, but not impossibly big, right?

"Hold on," Makoto said. He walked to an attendant. It was a good looking girl with a blonde ponytail. Kotonoha guessed her to be in her twenties.

"Hey," Makoto said to her. "I wonder if you could help us out."

"Sure," the attendant smiled.

"We can't seem to find her size," he said.

The attendant looked at Kotonoha. "Hm. And what is your size?"

"Uhm… 95E."

She frowned. "That can't be right."

"Ah, sorry," she realised what the problem was. "My bras all come from France."

"I see. Well that explains. So, 95E should be around 80F then. Hold on a sec."

She walked away and returned a bit later with a white bikini top.

"Try this on first, I think it will match your French size."

"Uhm." Kotonoha seemed to be worried about something as she accepted the top.

The attendant guided them to the changing rooms, but Kotonoha didn't enter.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked.
"I uhm. I'm not so good with strings. My old bikinis all had hooks."

"Oh," the attendant said. "Well your boyfriend can help you out."

"Uhm."

She gently pushed both of them in and closed the curtain.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

"Uhm," Makoto whispered. "I can leave if you want me to."

"No." She took his arm. "As I said, I can't put it on myself. I've never worn string tops before."

"I could ask the attendant to help you."

"If I can choose between a random woman and you, I prefer you."

"Okay."

"But, could you close your eyes please?"

"Of course."

He sat down on the bench and closed them.

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

He wasn't going to peek on her was he? Did she even mind if he did? Didn't she secretly want him to-

She cut off the thought. This was not the proper place to think about that. Besides, Makoto was not going to peek on her.

Kotonoha undressed herself. Her thoughts couldn't help but wander off to her dream from this morning.

"Okay, you can look," she said when she was done.

He opened his eyes again.

Kotonoha stood with her back to him. The top strings on her neck were tied, but the bottom ones weren't.

"Please don't stare so much," she said. "It's embarrassing."

It felt very vulnerable to stand like that. But somehow, that made her even more wet.

"Sorry. I'll just, close them up."

He stood up and took the strings.

Inevitable, his hands brushed past her back. She really hoped the top would hide her hard nipples well enough.

"Not too tight," she said. Kotonoha had a real hard time controlling her breathing.

"Sorry." He loosened up a bit. "Alright, this should do it."

Unable to stop herself, she spun around and embraced him.

"Kotonoha?"

His girlfriends stood on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the lips.

Makoto was very surprised by the sudden kiss, but before he could respond, her lips had left him again.

"Sorry," Kotonoha said softly.

This was all wrong. Her body had gotten all tingly and hot, but…

She was sending the wrong signal. What if he wanted more? If he suddenly kissed her back, she would certainly freak out again and push him away. She could not impose double standards on him. If she was allowed to kiss him, he should be allowed to kiss her back.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked, recovering from his initial surprise. "I'm really happy you kissed me."

"Nothing."

She quickly opened the curtain.

"Hm," the attendant said. "Looks like it fits well."

"Yeah, thanks for your help." Now that they knew her Japanese size, it should be a lot easier.

"That's my job," the attendant said.

"I'll get changed again and then we'll look around."

"Most of the larger sizes are around there," the woman said, pointing to a certain section of the store.

"Thanks."

She closed the curtain again.

"Could you close your eyes again?" Kotonoha asked.

"Yeah, sure." He looked very confused.

Kotonoha put on her clothes again.

"Okay, I'm done."

They went back out. She went to the section the attendant had previously pointed out.

While she was right about the larger sizes, these also seemed to be the more revealing designs.

"Sorry about uhm…"

"It's not your fault," Kotonoha said, avoiding his eyes. "I should be thanking you for helping me out."

"Yes, but, I didn't really object when she said I was your boyfriend and she pushed us inside."

"Neither did I," Kotonoha said. "So I can't really blame you."

"I guess."

"Besides, I don't think you really minded it."

"Well uhm…"

She looked him in the eye. He really did look like he felt guilty about it. "You don't have to pretend, Makoto. You're a guy, of course you want things like that."

"But I would never force you to do things you don't like."

"You didn't force me, did you? Besides…"

Who says I didn't like that?

"Hm?"

"Nothing. So uhm, what do you think about this?"

She picked up a random bikini from the hangers.

"Hm. You really think black is your color?"

She was taken back by that. "Have you done this before?"

"Maybe," he avoided.

"Ye, you're gonna make me jealous, Makoto-kun."

"Don't worry. Sekai didn't ask me to help her put it on."

"Well neither did I."

"Yes you did. You said you were bad at tying those strings."

"I am."

"But you could have tied them first at the front, then shifted it around, pull up, tie the top ones and pull them over your head."

"..." Yeah, that could actually work. "I-I didn't consider that. Besides, it sounds quite difficult."

Or was it awfully convenient she had not considered that? Now that he said it, it sounded so obvious. And technically, she could have asked the attendant for a top with hooks instead.

"Even so, by saying you're bad with them, you're implying you want help, and you said inside you prefer me to the attendant, so in a way, you did ask me to help you. Not directly of course."

"That's stretching things a bit." Makoto was twisting her words around a bit to make it sound like she wanted to get in a situation like that. It was very strange she had somehow gotten in the exact situation she had dreamed about, but still-

"Hey, I'm joking. What are you so worried about? You didn't do anything wrong, did you? We are dating."

"I…I don't want to give you the wrong signals. I'm not ready to… you know, touch you and…"

"Kiss me?"

"That was," she looked at the ground, her cheeks red. "In the heat of the moment."

"Do you regret it?"

"No," she quickly said. She looked back up at him.

"Then what's the problem? You worry too much, Kotonoha."

"But, now you're gonna expect me to kiss you again. Or you'll want to kiss me back and…"

"You can kiss me whenever you want, Kotonoha, don't worry. And if I really want to kiss you, I'll ask first."

"But, that's-"

"That way you won't have to worry, right? When I startle you you can get uhm…"

She thought back at the popcorn incident. He was right, she could overreact.

"Thanks, Makoto-kun."

"My pleasure. So uhm, back to the job at hand?"

Kotonoha touched her belly. She felt a weird sensation.

"Kotonoha?"

"Uhum," she hid her discomfort. "So what are your opinions on red?"

"Uhm, I'm in favor of it?"

"I was thinking of this one," she said. She picked up a bikini.

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Well I can't be sure until I try it on."

"Good point."

They picked up a few more bikinis and then Kotonoha went to try them on. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling in her belly.

Most of the bikinis looked reasonably good on her. She deliberately saved the red one for last.

The red one had a different design from many others swimsuits. In the middle was a silver ring where the fabric was attached to. In the back, there was a clasp to close it. However, there were no shoulder straps. Instead, she had to attach a simple red string around the middle ring which looped around her neck to keep the top up. Due to this design, it covered way less than the previous ones. The top of her breasts was basically fully exposed. It was something she would have never picked if Makoto hadn't been with her.

She almost didn't dare to open the curtain.

"You okay?" Makoto asked. "Do I need to help you out?"

She opened the curtain.

His mouth fell open slightly. "Oh wow."

"Do you like it?" she asked. She already felt a blush creeping up on her face to match the red of the top.

"I do. It's beautiful. I mean, you are beautiful in everything of course, but-"

"I'll take this one then."

"Are you sure?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah, you like this one, right?"

"I do. But does it provide enough support without the shoulder straps?"

"Strangely, yes." She didn't know what physics was going on here, but the top could support her well enough.

"Okay. Well if you really want that one, you should get it."

"Thanks, I will."

She got dressed again. The feeling in her stomach was getting worse.

Kotonoha went to pay for the bikini and then they went outside.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Makoto asked. "You look pale."

"I have a suspicion," she replied. "What time is it?"

He checked. "Almost midday."

"How do you feel about lunch?"

"Uhm, I'm in favor of it?"

A/N: I kinda winged Kotonoha's bra size since it's not mentioned anywhere in canon and bra sizes make absolutely no sense. Her BWH is 102-60-84 so I assumed her underbust is around 80. This results in a bra size of 80E (European), 36DD (USA), 95E (France) and 80F (Japan). But that size is unlikely to exist outside specialised stores, so it's more likely Kotonoha would wear something like 85D (European) instead. So I assumed the store is so big it even has those sizes. Anyhow, it's hardly relevant for the rest of the fic.