"Kotonoha?" Someone shook her awake. "Kotonoha?"

Her eyes opened. "Mom?"

"You'll be late for school," her mom said.

"I-I don't think I'm going today, mom."

"What do you mean?" Disapproval snuck into her voice.

"I feel sick."

"Hm." Her mom felt her forehead. "It does look like you have a fever."

"It's just one day," Kotonoha argued. "I'll be better by Monday for sure."

"Hm." Her mom hesitated. "Fine. I'll call school to say you're sick. And I'll bring up some breakfast."

"Thanks mom. You're the best."

Her mother left again.

It hadn't been a lie, technically. She did have some cramps and a headache. But she wasn't so sick she couldn't get out of bed. It was more that she didn't want to face Makoto-kun right now. And avoiding him wouldn't be easy at school. Now at least she had some respite until Monday.

Not long after, her mom returned with a tray with breakfast. Nothing special, just the cereal and yogurt she normally ate in the morning. Since she hadn't eaten much last night, it made sense her mom insisted she at least had breakfast.

"I have to go to work now," her mom said. "Will you be okay on your own?"

"I'll manage," Kotonoha said.

"Call me if something happens."

"Okay."

Her mom left again.

Kotonoha started eating.

At least she didn't have to face Makoto or Sekai now. Well, that was what she thought.

Actually, this wasn't so bad. She had some homework to catch up on. With Makoto-kun she had been too distracted to study much.

Kotonoha waited until she was certain her mom was off to work before she got out of bed. First a shower, and then she could start working.

After her shower she felt a lot more awake.

She changed into a simply tank top and yoga pants. She was planning to stay in bed to study anyway.

For a change, it went well. She wasn't distracted much, not even by her minor headache and her cramps. The vomiting of last night seemed to have been a one-time thing.

Kotonoha was so concentrated she didn't even hear her mom come home. Only when the doorbell rang did she look up.

Hm. Who could that be?

Vague voices drifted up from the hallway. Then, someone came up. From the sound, she knew it was her mom.

Kotonoha put aside her books and got into bed. She put on her sick-face.

The door opened.

Her mother came to sit on the edge of her bed.

Kotonoha 'woke up'.

"Mom? What time is it?"

"Oh Kotonoha, why didn't you tell me?"

Her mom patted her head.

"Uhm, mom?"

"You really thought I would be angry?" She asked kindly.

"Tell you what?" Did her mom knew she was exaggerating her sickness a bit?

Kotonoha pushed herself upright, abandoning all pretense now.

"Now I understand why you wanted to stay home," her mom continued as if she was talking to a little kid.

"Are you gonna tell me or what?" Kotonoha snapped.

That got her a frown. And finally, a reply. "Your girlfriend is here."

"My what?"

"Your girlfriend."

What the hell? Mom was clearly misunderstanding some things here.

Wait. "Do you mean Sekai?"

"First name basis?" Her mom smiled. "Looks like it's going well."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Well whatever she is, she's here. I just wanted to see if you were awake. I'll tell her to come up."

"Hey wait, I'm-"

The door closed.

"Not dressed," Kotonoha finished.

The footsteps were approaching her door. She only had time to get under the covers before Sekai entered.

"Hey," Sekai said. "Bad timing?"

"How do you know where I live?" Kotonoha asked.

"A little bird told me." Sekai closed the door.

"I thought Makoto-kun hated me?"

"Of course not." She sat down at her feet. "You're just having a little fight."

Sekai opened her school bag. "I'm actually here to give you some notes. You missed class today."

"But you're not in my class."

"Otome took them. But she was a bit reluctant to come here."

"Otome?"

"It took some convincing from Makoto-kun though. You owe him one."

Kotonoha sighed. "I know. I screwed up again, didn't I?"

"Maybe a little," Sekai said.

A silence fell.

Kotonoha hesitated. She didn't really want to ask it, but she had to know for sure.

"Sekai?"

"Hm?"

"I was bleeding last night, right? I didn't imagine that?"

She didn't get a reply immediately.

"Yes, your nose was bleeding," Sekai said eventually. There was doubt in her voice. "And I don't think you could have done that yourself unless you slammed your head against the table."

"Okay." That was still a possibility. Although it was rather low on her list.

"What's wrong?" Sekai asked. The concern in her voice was obvious now.

"You're gonna hate me if I tell you." Kotonoha looked away.

"Hm. Is the argument with Makoto-kun your fault?"
"I don't know."

"How can you not know that?"

"I…" Kotonoha sighed. "Alright, I'll tell you."

She explained everything that had happened (while staying vague about the exact content of her dreams, obviously).

Sekai said nothing when she was done.

The silence lingered on until Kotonoha broke it eventually.

"Do you think I'm going crazy?"

"You have to admit your version of the story sounds a bit-"

"I know. It doesn't make any sense."

"I wasn't there so I can't confirm anything. But you don't actually believe he can control your dreams, right?"

"I… uhm…" she looked at Sekai. "Of course not."

"You don't sound so convinced."

"I wish I could believe he has nothing to do with it, but I just can't." Mostly because that would imply she was going crazy.

"So you don't trust him?" Sekai said.

"Of course I trust him," Kotonoha snapped.

"Kotonoha," Sekai said calmly. "That's not what trust means. You're jumping to conclusions based upon wild assumptions. Doesn't trust mean that you believe he wants the best for you? That you don't accuse him of anything without solid evidence?"

"I do believe he wants the best for me," Kotonoha said.

Sekai frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Now that she had said it out loud, something occurred to Kotonoha.

This wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Even if Makoto had been the one who caused her top to get loose at the pool, what was so bad about that? No one had seen anything because he had responded fast enough. And hadn't it felt really good to hug him like that? She secretly wanted to hug him like that, but there is no way she would admit that on her own. So if anything, he had given them a convenient excuse to do something they both wanted to do.

And weren't those dreams helping a lot with her repressed sexuality? Makoto was patient, sure, but it wasn't a bad thing to speed things up a bit. Without her dreams, they probably wouldn't have kissed or even held hands at this point. And that would only lead to Kotonoha feeling guilty and Makoto feeling frustrated, which was bad for both of them.

Her losing balance on the train gave her a convenient excuse to rely on him. And she wanted to rely on him. It felt good to be taken care of. To be free of having to make decision all the time.

So if anything, those strange coincidences were awfully convenient for both of them when you looked at it like that.

So maybe whether she was doing it unconsciously herself or he was doing it wasn't really that important. It was just that she had gotten scared that something or someone was trying to change her. But she had never questioned whether those changes were really that bad for her.

Hadn't she gotten more confident lately? Otome's bullying had gone down before she broke up with Makoto. And if she had been a bit smarter, she would have pretended they were still a couple. Otome had only dared to hit her because she knew for sure Kotonoha had problems with Makoto. If she had seeded some doubt, she could have probably gotten out of there safely.

"Kotonoha?"

"Hm? Oh sorry, I was just thinking."

Sekai waited, but it became clear Kotonoha didn't want to explain herself.

"Can I give you my opinion on all of this?" Sekai asked.

"Of course."

"It sounds like you're looking for conspiracy theories everywhere. I mean, if you had something substantial, okay, but you don't. You just have a bunch of minor details."

"So you're saying I'm crazy?" She tried to control her voice.

"I'm saying you can't deny that it sounds like you're looking for things to blame him for."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because, if you do, he gives you more attention. Don't you like it if he's protecting you? If he holds your hand?"

"I…" Kotonoha hesitated. Sekai was hitting a little too close to the conclusion she had just reached by herself. If she benefited from it, which she clearly did, then it wasn't that big of a stretch to assume she was also the one causing it. It was certainly a lot more realistic compared to her own theory, which relied on Makoto-kun doing things that were clearly impossible.

"See," Sekai said. "It's only natural, Kotonoha. You want him to pay attention to you and protect you, and obviously he will pay more attention if he's concerned something will happen to you. But you can't spin conspiracy theories around to get his attention."

"You don't know if that's the case," Kotonoha argued. "I'm perfectly fine on my own, I don't need Makoto-kun."

"Name three of your friends."

"Huh?"

"Name three friends. Not a hard question, right?"

"Well, we're friends, right?"

"Of course," Sekai reassured her. "And let's count Makoto-kun as well. But can you name anyone else?"

"I…"

No one else came to mind. Maybe Kokoro-chan, but stretching it to her own sister was a bit…

"Hey, don't worry about it," Sekai said. "At least you have two real friends who are there for you when you need them."

"Makoto isn't here."

"He convinced Otome to share her notes. And actually he wanted to come here, but I told him it was probably better if you took some distance for now."

"You told him that?" What was Sekai thinking?

"You don't agree?"

"I want to see Makoto-kun."

"I can call him right now. I'm sure he'll hop on the train right away." Sekai took out her phone.

"Uhm…"

"Yes?"

"Never mind. I don't want to be a bother."

"I thought you wanted to see him?"

Kotonoha sighed. "I understand what you want to say. I'm quite lonely so it's not that big of a stretch to think I would come up with these things."

"Are you afraid he'll break up with you?" Sekai asked.

"Of course I'm scared."

She felt tears welling up.

"And you secretly hope that making him worry like that would prevent him from breaking up with you?" Sekai continued.

"I don't know. I guess. But it backfired a bit, didn't it?"

"You're surprised he doesn't want you to guilt trip him like that?"

"He probably hates me now." She was unable to stop her tears anymore.

"Oh come on."

Sekai pulled her in for a hug.

Kotonoha put her head on Sekai's shoulder.

"Just apologise to him," Sekai said calmly, patting her back. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"If only it were that simple."

"It's hard to admit when you're wrong indeed. But you can get over your pride, right?"

She didn't reply.

It wasn't her own pride she was concerned about. If Sekai was speaking the truth and she was unconsciously doing all this, then what would prevent her from doing it again? How could you stop something when you didn't even realise you were doing it?

They released each other again.

"Now, wipe your tears away and put on some clothes," Sekai said. "I'm gonna call Makoto-kun to come over."

"What?" She hardly even registered the blanket had fallen down when they hugged.

"I'm gonna call him," Sekai said.
"You can't."

Sekai chuckled. "And you're gonna stop me? Come on Kotonoha, you know you need to talk. And you don't want to do it at school, right?"

"I was gonna talk to him eventually."

"You mean after worrying for a week? What if he's crying with Otome? Did that ever occur to you?"

Where did that suddenly come from? "He would never-"

"Aren't they childhood friends?"

"That… Makoto is with me." Sekai had a point. Otome had a crush on Makoto and she knew they had problems, so she would definitely see this as an opportunity.

"I thought you broke up?" Sekai asked.

"We didn't break up," she insisted.

"Are you sure of that?"

"I… I think so."

"You think so? Well that's reassuring."

"Makoto wouldn't start dating anyone else so soon."

"Are you sure of that? What if she lets him touch her chest?"

"Sekai!"

"I'm just saying, why take the risk?"

"That…" Kotonoha fell silent. A very scary thought reached her.

"Sorry. I may have taken it a bit far."

"Are you afraid I'll change my mind again?" Kotonoha asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Her tone was very different now. "You just seem very keen on inviting Makoto-kun over. Just when I agreed it's all my fault. A conclusion you helped me reach."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You wanted to talk to Makoto, right?"

"No, you wanted me to talk to him."

Sekai frowned. "You mean you don't want to talk to him?"

"I do. But you're the one who suggested it."

"Is that important?"

"Yes."

A short silence fell.

"Uhm, okay? You're acting really weird, Kotonoha."

"I just think it's strange how you take his side."

"Side? He's your boyfriend, isn't he? How are 'sides' involved in this?"

"Even so, you're taking his side in our argument."

"I'd love to take your side, Kotonoha, but do you really expect me to believe Makoto is some magician who can send dreams to you and make you faint?"

"That doesn't mean he's completely innocent."

"Okay," Sekai admitted. "Maybe he could have pulled your top up at the pool somehow, but I seriously doubt it. These things happen, Kotonoha. They have happened to me in the past as well. Except I didn't search for conspiracy theories behind it. If anything Makoto was trying to help you."

"I'm just saying, he could have send you to convince me I'm the one making things up."

"The fact that you even need convincing for that is deeply disturbing, Kotonoha."

Kotonoha frowned. It was very strange Sekai did not even want to consider her side of the story. Sure, the whole dream thing was a bit of a stretch, but certainly there were other things that were possible. Yet Sekai rejected all of it very easily. Maybe a bit too easily.

Could she really trust Sekai? After all, she was a friend of Makoto-kun.

"Sorry, you're right," Kotonoha lied. "It's just… let me call him when I'm ready. He's my boyfriend, I have to do this by myself."

"Yes, but don't you think you shouldn't keep him worried for too long? Given how your argument went, he'll obviously be concerned about you and he won't know what to do. That's why I wanted you to call him right now."

"I'll call him tonight," Kotonoha said.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay then."

Kotonoha let the silence linger until Sekai said what she had been hoping for.

"I'll just go then."

"Yeah. Thanks for checking up on me."

"I just came to give you those notes."

"Of course. See you at school, Sekai."
They hugged shortly and then Sekai put on her bag and left.

Kotonoha breathed out when the door closed.

That was close.

In retrospect, she had been a bit naive. Sekai had just happened to show up yesterday just when Kotonoha needed it. That couldn't be a coincidence. Sure, it was possible that she was worried and wanted to check up on her, but she had been Makoto's friend for much longer, so why wasn't she with him instead? Unless he had asked her to check up on Kotonoha. Sekai seemed awfully keen on convincing her she was just being paranoid and Makoto was the victim here. Not everything she said was impossible.

"I'm not crazy," she said, out loud.

She sighed.

Could she even believe that herself?

If only she had some way to prove it. To prove that there really was something going on. No one else could confirm her side of the story.

Did she even trust anyone at this point? They could just confirm it to gain her trust. Similar to how Sekai had clearly been trying to gain her trust while subtly convincing her she was crazy and Makoto was completely innocent.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. That left only one option then.

But first she would need to reassure him a bit. And she had promised after all.

Kotonoha pulled out her phone and called him. He picked up very fast.

[Kotonoha?]

"Hey, Makoto-kun."

[Are you okay? Look, I'm really sorry for what I said. I didn't meant to sound that harsh.]

"You're sorry for what you said or how you said it?"

He was silent for a second. [I wasn't lying. I have absolutely nothing to do with all of those things. Half of them aren't even physically possible. But I am sorry for how I said that. I should have been more understanding of your trust issues.]

"Trust issues."

[That's what it appears to be from my perspective. If it feels different for you I'm happy to talk about that. But you can't expect me to understand how you feel if you don't tell me. And I can't pretend like I believe in supernatural explanations. Especially ones that involve me somehow trying to manipulate you when I'm actually trying to help you.]

"Okay."

[What do you want to do now?]

"Can you give me some time? I just… I need to think."

[Sure. No problem. I understand.]

"I'm sorry. I don't want to… it's fine if you start dating other people. I'm asking too much of you." He didn't have to wait for her.

[I'm not planning to date anyone else.]

"Not even Otome?"

[We used to be friends. Not anymore. It's not my fault that she doesn't understand that.]

"But you don't mind abusing that, do you?"

[I'm deeply sorry that I got you notes because you missed school today,] he said on his sarcastic tone. [I'm sure Katou is deeply hurt by that. I copied some notes she made anyway, you'd really call that abuse?]

"You…"

Kotonoha picked up the notes Sekai had handed her. She hadn't looked at them properly before.

Oh.

She had been wrong. When Sekai said it, it had sounded like Otome had done a lot of work, but actually, these were simply scans of handwritten notes that had been printed out. So Makoto had just borrowed her notes for a moment and scanned them in.

"Uhum, anyway. My point was that I don't mind if you want to date someone else."

[Your point has been noted.]

"Okay. I'll see you at school then."

[See you at school.]

She quickly hung up.

Actually, she would see him sooner than that, but Makoto didn't know that.

Sekai was right. Kotonoha could claim whatever she wanted, it was meaningless without proper evidence. And she couldn't prove anything. Not yet at least.