Kotonoha grabbed the bar of the train. Her balance was already bad on a good day, so she was not about to take any chances.

Her legs were shaking slightly, but she did her best to keep it under control. It wouldn't be long before she got home and then she could rest for a bit.

It would probably have been smarter to first go home before she did that. But then again, it wasn't supposed to be convenient for her.

The train ride seemed to drag on much longer than usual.

She almost missed her stop because she was lost in thoughts, but she managed to get out before the doors closed.

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

Now she only had to make it home.

She idly wondered whether this was all real.

The scene with Makoto and Sekai had looked incredibly real. So real she couldn't tell the difference at all. But it was pretty obvious it hadn't been real. So how could she know anything she saw was real at all?

Kotonoha reached her home.

There was someone sitting on her front porch.

Was this real? Or did she see what she wanted to see?

"Sekai?"

The girl looked at her and jumped up.

"What are you doing here?" Kotonoha asked.

She was pulled into a sudden hug. "You really made me worry."

"I…"

Kotonoha put her head on Sekai's shoulder.

Yeah, this was real. She could feel it.

Wait. She had imagined touch before. She had been utterly convinced Makoto had been touching her chest, but that hadn't happened of course. So how could she be sure this hug was real? After all, she really wanted a hug, so…

No wait, she could know for sure. This wasn't what she wanted. Yes, she really wanted a hug, but under perfect circumstances, it would be Makoto who would hug her. So this couldn't be wish fulfilment. It wasn't perfect enough for that.

"Are you okay?" Sekai asked, still hugging her.

"I'm fine." At least, now she was.

"So you regularly hang up on your friends when they call to check if you're okay?" Sekai asked. There was no anger in her voice. Not even annoyance, just concern.

"I… I was in the middle of something. I'm sorry."

Sekai released her. "Yeah, it does look that way."

She looked at Kotonoha's bag but didn't ask anything.

Kotonoha didn't say anything either.

"You want to talk about it?" Sekai asked.

Kotonoha nodded. "Let's get inside."

She unlocked the door.

They both took of their shoes in the hallway.

"Did something happen?" Sekai asked.

"How so?"

"The way you walk, it's… are you in pain?"

"It's nothing," Kotonoha lied.

She opened the door to the kitchen and found no one was home.

"I'll make you some tea," Kotonoha said.

She opened the cabinet and took out the tea. However, her hands were shaking and it slipped through her fingers. The bag dropped on the floor.

Kotonoha bend over, but Sekai was faster.

"Shall I do it?" Sekai asked. She straightened again.

"No," Kotonoha said. "You're the guest, you should-"

"At this rate you're gonna break things," Sekai said. "Rely on others for a change."

Kotonoha sighed. "Fine."

"Good," Sekai smiled. "Can I rely on you to tell me where you keep everything?"

"Over there." She pointed to the right doors so Sekai could take out everything they needed.

When they were done, Kotonoha sat down on the couch with her tea.

A stab of pain went through her. She shifted her legs, but no matter how she moved, the dull pain stayed. She had really overdone it.

No. This was supposed to hurt. It wouldn't be a punishment if it didn't hurt.

Sekai sat next to her.

They both drank their tea for a quiet moment.

"I'm really sorry," Kotonoha said.

"Hey, everyone can-"

"No, no, not about that. No, wait, also about that, I…"

"Don't forget to breathe," Sekai said.

Kotonoha smiled faintly. She sipped her tea again. "What I wanted to say is: sorry for last time. We were talking and I accused you of some grand conspiracy. Do you remember?"

"I remember."

Yeah, of course she did.

"I-I have some trust issues." She put down her tea on the coffee table. "I know that's not a good reason, but…"

"Well you can't do anything more than apologise, can you?"

"I can think of plenty more things I could do to make it up."

"Well I'm satisfied with a simple apology. Save those things for Makoto-kun."

She sighed. "Yeah, I have to apologise to him too."

"A bit more I think. You really hurt him."

"A simple sorry won't cut it indeed," Kotonoha said. "He probably hates me now."

"Well you won't know unless you talk to him."

"I don't want to bother him."

"He's probably just playing video games now."

Kotonoha opened her mouth and then closed it again.

How…

"Kotonoha?"

"How do you know that?" Kotonoha's tone shifted.

"Know what?"

"That's he's playing video games right now."

"I don't. I said probably. Wait, where did you say you went today?"

"Nowhere," Kotonoha evaded.

This was rather strange.

No, wait. She was doing it again. Sekai was friends with Makoto-kun, of course she knew his hobbies. And gaming was a normal thing to come to mind.

"Hm." Sekai pondered it for a sec. "Anyway, you need to talk to him."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What else were you gonna do?"

"I've been thinking," Kotonoha said. "Maybe it's better if he dates someone else. I… I'm not a good girlfriend."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"But it's true, isn't it? Look at all the things I've accused him off with zero evidence. And…" she sighed. "I know he wants to… you know… he wants a physical relationship too."

"And you don't want that?"

"I do. I really do. I-... uhum, obviously such things are part of a normal relationship." She took another sip of tea.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I always freak out when anything like that happens."

"Oh. And there is nothing you can do about that?"

"What would I…"

Wait a minute.

An idea formed in her mind.

"Maybe there is something," Kotonoha said. "I'll have to test it out."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Sekai."

"I didn't say anything." Sekai put her tea down.

"No, I mean, for being here for me. I don't know what I would do without you and Makoto-kun."

"Hey, that's what friends are for."

They hugged again.

"I'll talk to Makoto-kun, don't worry," Kotonoha said.

"Actually," Sekai said. "I have a little confession to make."

She released her. "Sekai?"

Sekai checked her phone. "He should be here in about ten minutes."

"He?" A cold feeling crept up her spine.

"I called Makoto-kun before. I think it's about time you stop running away from your problems."

"But-"

"No buts. If it doesn't work out, so be it, but at the very least you can stop worrying. If I let you be, you'll never talk to him."

"Yeah, you may be right. Thanks."

Kotonoha got up.

"Where are you going?"

"You said he'd be here in ten minutes. You really should have given me more time to prepare."

"Oh, sorry."

Kotonoha rushed to the bathroom.

She quickly brushed her teeth and straightened her hair.

She wanted to take a shower and do her makeup, and maybe change clothes as well, but there was not nearly enough time for that. Straightening her hair alone already took way too much time.

The bell rang.

She quickly went downstairs again.

Sekai was already waiting for her in the hallway.

Kotonoha took a deep breath and opened the door.

She came face to face with Makoto-kun.

A strange urge bubbled up inside of her.

"Uhm, hey," Makoto said. "Uhm, Sekai-"

Kotonoha embraced him.

"Woah."

Without thinking, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

He was surprised at first, but eventually settled into the kiss.

They kissed for what seemed to be forever, but eventually, he gently pushed her away.

"I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone then," Sekai said. "Looks like this will end alright."

"Ah, Sekai." She had completely forgotten Sekai was still here.

"Have fun." Sekai winked.

Kotonoha blushed.

"So uhm…" Makoto said.

"Sorry. Uhum, would you like to come in, Makoto-kun?"

"A bit the wrong order, but sure."

They went inside.

Makoto took off his shoes and they went into the living room.

She sat down and he went to sit next to her, so close she could feel the heat radiate from his body.

"You've been very patient with me," Kotonoha said.

"Yeah," he said. "But it's really no big deal."

"No, no. Please, don't pretend. You don't have to spare my feelings or anything. I'd prefer it if you told me the truth."

"Okay, it was pretty annoying. But I understand it's not easy for you either."

"I missed you," Kotonoha said.

Makoto sighed. "What do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I missed you too, but… why did you accuse me of those crazy things in the first place?"

"I… I guess I was scared you'd leave me."

"So, aren't you doing the same thing right now by admitting you were wrong?"

"You mean I'm guilt tripping you into forgiving me and getting back together?" She kept her voice calm.

"I wasn't gonna put it like that, but… yeah. What else am I supposed to do? If I stay mad at you, I look like a terrible boyfriend. You didn't do this consciously after all, so can you really be blamed?"

"I understand."

"No, you don't. From your tone it looks like you already assumed everything was alright again."

"Well you… you kissed me back."

"Are you sure? Did I have a choice?"

"Well…" she struggled to find the right words.

"And can I point out you haven't apologised for anything yet? All you said is 'you've been patient'. You didn't even take anything you said back. Do you regret accusing me of all those things? Or do you regret it caused this distance between us? A distance you now pretend doesn't exist anymore."

"I…" she tried saying something, anything, but nothing came out.

"You're imposing quite double standards, aren't you? You can jump into my arms and kiss me, but even after weeks I still had to ask to kiss you or you freak out completely."

He was right.

Kotonoha looked down. She felt tears sting in her eyes.

"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, you're right. I asked you to be honest with me, and I'm glad you are."

"Come here."

"No, you shouldn't-"

"Don't tell me what to do."

He embraced her.

She slowly put her head on his chest. Her tears were dripping on his shirt, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Yes, you told me to be honest," Makoto-kun said. "But I didn't have to say it like that. It's my fault you're crying."

"I'm the one who got us into this situation in the first place," Kotonoha said.

"You're seeing it wrong. It's not you vs me. It's us against this problem."

Kotonoha got out of his embrace and wiped her tears with her sleeve.

"Even so," she said. "I'm the one causing all the problems. I don't want you to walk around with all that frustration and I certainly don't want to force you into a relationship you don't want."

"I do want you. I just don't know if I can. It's…" he hesitated. "Your trust issues won't vanish in a single day."

"What do you want to do then? Break up?"

"I don't know."

Kotonoha sighed. "We shouldn't get back together just like that. I don't want you to just yield for this behaviour."

If he got back together with her so easily, he'd basically say it was okay to behave like that. So what would stop her from doing it again?

"You're right," she said. "It's my fault and I haven't done anything to make things right again. I haven't even apologised to you."

Makoto sighed as well. "Why is this so hard? I want you, and you want me, I think."

"I do. More than anything in the world."

"So why can't we just be together then?"

"We can't just pretend this never happened. I really hurt you."

"I guess you did, but…"

"Wait, just, let me start over please."

She got off the couch and sank down on her knees in front of him.

"Uhm, Kotonoha?"

Kotonoha kept her gaze down. "I'm really sorry-"

"You really don't have to-"

"I do," she kept her head down. "Please, let me."

"Alright then. If it makes you feel better."

"I'm really sorry for all those things I've said. I don't think you were touching my chest back then, those dreams have nothing to do with you, and you didn't ask Otome to bully me. When my top got loose at the pool, that wasn't your fault, it was just the water. I'm not losing my balance on the train because of you, I'm just clumsy. And when my anemia plays up, it's obviously not you who's making me faint." She tried to think whether there was something else she had accused him of.

"Kotonoha?"

"Hm?" She looked up.

"Why are you suddenly so convinced?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, before you were so sure I had done all those things. And now you suddenly changed your mind."

"It's not even physically possible for you to do half of those things."

"Yes, but that didn't stop you before, did it? So it's weird you're doing this 180 now."

"Well, there is… there is something else."

"Yes?"

"I… I can't tell you."

"Kotonoha. If you want me to forgive you, you're gonna have to tell me everything. No more secrets."

Her heart was beating incredibly fast now.

How would he react if she admitted she had spied on him?

He'd definitely break up with her.

"I uhm… I talked to Sekai." Technically speaking that was true.

"Oh."

"Her outside perspective kinda showed how silly I was," Kotonoha said.

"Well why didn't you just say so?"

"Because it sounds like I need someone else to tell me when I'm being silly. I'd prefer it if you thought I figured it out on my own, but I didn't."

"Oh, I get it."

She wanted to tell him the truth, but her fear for his response was simply too big.

"I promise it won't happen again," Kotonoha said.

Her knees were starting to hurt, but she stayed on the floor.

"How can you know that?"

"Sorry. I promise I'll try my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. If it does, please tell me and we can try and figure something out."

"Hm. Well I guess if you're trying hard, that's good enough for me."

"Does this mean we're a couple again?"

"It means I'll give it another try."

He held out his hand.

She took it.

Makoto helped her up.

"Come here," he said. He tapped his lap.

"I…"

"You're my girlfriend, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am."

She sat down on his lap, facing him. Their heads were on equal height now.

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. It was a very short one.

When he pulled back, she wanted to reach forward and kiss him again.

"Ah, sorry," Makoto said. "I didn't ask."

"You don't have to," she said. "I'm your girlfriend, you can kiss me whenever you want."

He smiled. "Well you don't mind if I do it again then, do you?"

"Please do." She closed her eyes.

They made out for a while. Makoto's hands stayed on her lower back the entire time. There was a tiny part of her that secretly hoped they would start roaming all over her body. But maybe now wasn't the time for that.

Kotonoha was getting more and more worked up. As usual, she was already dripping wet after a single kiss. She really had to stop or this would get out of hand.

"So uhm," Kotonoha said. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Are you sure? What about your parents?"

"I think it's about time I formally introduced you," Kotonoha said. "Don't you think so?"

"Yeah, but maybe you should tell them I'm coming over first."

"Nah. No need. That sounds like I need their permission."

"You don't?"

"I'm old and wise enough to decide on my own." She puffed up her cheeks.

"Well I'm not arguing about the old part, but wise…"

"Meanie." She kissed him again.

"So," Makoto said. "Horror movie?"

"Are you trying to make me snuggle up close to you?"

"Busty."

She frowned. "You mean busted?"

"No, I was talking about your chest."

"Hey." She hid them with her hands, which didn't really work out well. Her hands were way too small. Or her chest was too big, one or the other.

"Sorry. You just look so cute when you're embarrassed."

At this rate, she was gonna do a lot more than simply kissing him.

"Uhum." She got off his lap. "So, horror movie?" She picked up the remote.

"If you're not too scared."

She got down on the couch next to him.

"I am. You're gonna have to hold my hand."

He smiled faintly and took her hand. Their fingers interlaced.

They watched the movie together. Kotonoha had lots of fun pretending she was scared and snuggling up close to him. Makoto seemed to like that.

About halfway through, her mom came home.

"Kotonoha? Are you home?"

"I'm here mom." She paused the tv and got up.

The door opened.

"Can you help me with these groc-" her eyes fell onto Makoto. "Oh."

"Uhum, this is my boyfriend, Itou Makoto," Kotonoha said.

"Nice to meet you, Miss," Makoto said. He held out his hand.

She put down the bag she was holding and shook his hand. "Katsura Manami."

Her eyes wandered to her daughter. "I thought that Sekai-girl was your girlfriend?"

"Are the two mutually exclusive?" Makoto asked. He turned to Kotonoha. "Ye, you said your mom was pretty modern."

"Excuse me?" Manami spoke Kotonoha's exact thoughts.

"We're having a threesome relationship," Makoto said. "It's called polyamory."

"Makoto-kun," Kotonoha hissed.

"Oh, sorry, you wanted to keep that secret?"

"That…"

He turned back to her mom. "I'll help you with your groceries."

He walked out the door.

"Ah, you don't have-"

"It's not optional," he called, without looking back.

Kotonoha hurried after him.

"What are you doing?" she hissed once they were outside.

"Helping to carry groceries."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, you said your dad didn't approve of you having a boyfriend."

"Yeah?"

"So, what do you think will happen now?" He picked up a bag from the trunk.

"I don't know."

"Your dad will definitely ask a lot of annoying questions. But your mom will stop him, because she doesn't want him to find out you have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend."

"But I don't… oh."

Yeah, that made sense. And if anything, it gave her an extra safety. Cause if her dad found out she was with both Sekai and Itou, she could simply explain she was with Makoto only. Then, he'd be relieved and forget he didn't approve of that either. At least, that was what she was hoping on.

And if not, well, it was pretty fun to mess around with her mom like that.

Kotonoha took a bag as well.

"Onee-chan, is that your boyfriend?"

She turned. "Oh Kokoro-chan."

"Is that your little sister?" Makoto asked.

"Uhu."

"I'm Kokoro," the girl said.

"That's a cool name."

She smiled brightly. "I like him."

"Well he's mine," Kotonoha said. She took his arm.

"Worried?" Makoto asked.

"Kokoro is gonna steal you away from me," Kotonoha said.

Makoto chuckled. "How old is she? Nine?"

"Hey, I'm ten." Kokoro pouted.

"Ah, sorry, my bad."

"So have you two kissed already?" Kokoro asked.

"Ye, don't ask questions like that," Kotonoha complained.

"I'm so glad both of you are helping me," a sarcastic voice cut in.

"Oh, mom. Uhm, I was just gonna bring this inside."

"Well do take your time."

"Sorry."

She got inside with Makoto-kun. Kokoro tried following her, but their mother stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Inside?"

"You could at least help me carry the groceries."

"Me? Child labor is illegal, mom."
Their conversation faded in the background.

Kotonoha put the groceries on the kitchen table.

Kokoro came in as well carrying what must have been the smallest bag she could find.

They went back to the living room before Manami could give them more work.

Kokoro ran to the couch.

"Onee-chan, what are you watching?"

Kotonoha turned pale.

"Give me that remote."

"What? No, this looks fine."

"You're way too young for that."

She tried to grab her sister, but Kokoro slipped past her. Unfortunately, as she ran around the table, she bumped into Makoto who easily took the remote from her.

He turned off the tv.

"Ye, no fun," Kokoro complained.

Kotonoha mouthed an apology to Makoto, but he didn't seem to mind much.

Her dad arrived some time later. It was a pretty awkward meeting, but Manami very quickly distracted him.

Looks like Makoto was right. Her mom was quite scared he would find out she was with both Makoto and Sekai, so she did her very best to keep talking about things that diverted attention away from them. She also pretended she had invited them and simply 'forgotten' to tell him about it, so he wasn't angry at Kotonoha.

All in all, it went reasonably well. A lot better than she had feared.

They ate dinner together. Afterwards, Kotonoha told them they both had homework to finish so they could flee.

She walked him back to the station.

"That went reasonably well," Makoto said.

"Yeah."

She reached for his hand.

"Hey, don't worry," he said. "I'm sure your dad will turn around."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Well what is he gonna do? Is he gonna lock you up in your room for the rest of your days?"

"Maybe," she smiled. "You'll come save me then, won't you?"

"Of course. Shall I put on shining armor?" he suggested.

"Obviously. You can borrow my sword and horse."

"You have your own horse?"

"Uhm, little bit. It's in France though."

"Oh. What's his name?"

"Her name."

"Well maybe she identifies as a stallion."

"I'll ask her next time."

They reached the station.

Kotonoha sighed. "Your train will be here soon."

"Yeah. Lunch tomorrow?"

"Always," she said. "We should ask Sekai too. I don't want her to feel left out."

"Sure. I'll ask her."

"I uhm…"

"Hm?"

"I love you." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

He was so surprised he did not respond to her kiss.

"K-Kotonoha?"

"I'm not afraid anymore." For once, she was sure of herself. "I'm in love with you."

"I…"

They heard the screeching of the train behind him.

"You have to go. I'll see you in my dreams, Makoto-kun."

"Y-Yeah, sure."

They shared one last kiss. Then, he got on the train.

The doors closed.

She waved at him. He waved back, still very confused at her sudden confession.

Then, the train sped up, went out of sight and he was gone. Well not gone of course. After all, he was always on her mind.