Song Suggestion: John Mayer- "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" (1st part) And Chord Overstreet- "Hold On" (2nd Part)
Thank You: Berangere, Cat Beats, Vicki, Jess, Mistress-Cinder, Figsy, Alexxis T. Swan, Ashes-of-Grey, Tibster, StrawberryPeaches, Rachel, AnonymousRedhead, downwego, jkteen22, and two guests.
I always love reading your reactions! I'm a shameless review whore. I swear I read the reviews at least once a day. They give me so much motivation.
When Fear is a Choice
Prim didn't walk to the Cornucopia. Instead she went to the cliffs, collapsing in the shade. Everything in her body shut down, one part at a time. She refused to play the game anymore. Prim did not keep up with the cannons; she did not know who lived and who died. Prim did not want to face it. Not right now.
Prim didn't know when she fell asleep, but she woke up when the music for the fallen tributes started playing. Prim's eyes snapped open, realizing she slept for half the day. Nighttime already encased the faux earth, stars twinkling in the sky.
Her whole body cried in pain as she sat up. Her wrist was twice the size as normal, mottled with a variety of colored bruises and lumpy in places it shouldn't be. Even with a glance she knew it was broken. Worse her lower stomach cramped, and she felt a wetness between her legs. She dared not look, afraid she'd see blood.
Jace and his stomach-churning smile flashed across the sky first. Seeing it again made her realize how broken she really was, a cracking deep in her soul. She was no longer the girl that entered the games, no longer the girl her sister saved, or the girl Cato loved. Darkness settled in her, camping in spaces she thought were clean.
Ruby came next. Prim turned her head, not able to look with the guilt. Then came Theodora. And she felt both their deaths again, like a knife in her belly. How would she survive the stain? How did Cato? How did anybody? Prim suddenly understood why after killing Peeta, Katniss laid down her weapon and looked to Cato to put an end to her pain.
The little blond, who Jace tortured to death, appeared and then disappeared, ending the announcements. It left only three alive: Cato, Gale, and her. A triangle of people that could only end in grief.
The night turned sinister again, but the hoots and the calls from the desert no longer scared her. She would welcome another trial, another beast, anything to cease the explosion and the aftermath inside her.
As if to taunt her, President Snow's voice came over the loud speaker.
"The remaining tributes will walk to the Cornucopia for the final trial, or I shall send beasts on your heels."
Prim tried to carry the same amount of dread but found she couldn't. Everything had been stripped from her, including her fear.
At last, her mind whispered, it will be over.
An Hour Later
Prim trudged through the sand like a zombie, numb and war-weary. She arrived at the Cornucopia when the darkness became complete. The stars and moon glittered off the pyramid, casting an eerie glow.
She saw Cato first. He stood without a shirt, wounds still raw and ragged on his arm and face. His hands did not have the handcuffs, and he held a lethal sword instead of the machete. It looked like an extra appendage on him, so natural he was born with it. He must have attempted to yank off the handcuffs because his wrists had bloody gashes encircling them.
When he saw her, his eyes widened, and his whole body buckled forward, crouching close to the ground with his head in his hands, as if in a terrible relief, giving a loud groan. He shivered, looking close to vomiting, but he held it back.
"You're alive," he whispered, like a prayer. He put himself back together and stood up. His eyes were red, hair in disarray, and his skin blotchy. Prim did not wish to imagine his state after Jace took off after her in a deadly rage, with him attached to a tree with no way to fight for her. By all odds, she should be dead, the cannon blast hers. He must have expected Jace to waltz in with her cut ear, giving his evil smile.
Prim almost walked towards him to comfort him when she noticed Gale standing only ten feet away from Cato, also with a sword.
It took her by so much surprise that instead of walking forward she took a step back.
It was only then that she saw the pale, golden shimmer surrounding their bodies, almost unnoticeable in the dark.
"What's going on?"
"It's the final trial," Cato said, voice gruff like sandpaper, as if he screamed himself hoarse.
"I don't understand."
"You do," answered Gale. "I figured it out long ago."
In the back of her mind, she knew it would end up with this conclusion, but she didn't want to believe it. Prim fooled herself into thinking her trial would be over after falling from the sky. Yes, she feared heights. But Snow, like Jace, pegged the deepest part of her. He mined the information from her brain without her consent. She should have stayed away from Gale and Cato from the beginning, like Brutus told her to, but instead she showed the world her fragile, beating heart.
Her deepest fear wasn't heights; it was choosing between Gale and Cato, between her old love and her new. The final gong would be hers. They saved the best, most dramatic moment, for last. Prim resented Snow for making her fear again, for making her feel again, when all she wanted was to be lost in numb apathy.
"The rules are simple," the words boomed from the sky. "You have until the gong to choose who will star in your happily ever after. The remaining tribute will die instantly. So, tell us Primrose Everdeen, who do you love? All of Panem is dying to know the answer."
Prim wanted to howl in anger, but the voice continued.
"However," he said, "If you refuse to choose by the time the final gong rings, then the tributes will be released from their cages and allowed to decide for themselves. The strongest will take the prize. Regardless of your choice, only two tributes can walk out of this arena."
The voice ended, but her thoughts stayed jumbled. This was worse than Jace. Worse than Ruby's death. This would destroy her in a way she wouldn't come back from. Happily ever after? Prim had no doubt the Capitol would force something like it on her, with a wedding and a bouquet and a kiss to complete it. But Prim wouldn't be able to be happy again. Not after something like this.
She loved Gale like a brother, like a best friend. He wove his way through her life, strands of grey and black, until she didn't know where he began, and she ended. He taught her to hunt, to defend herself, to heal. He held her as she gasped in sobs after Katniss volunteered for her and held her again as she wailed when Katniss died. Brave, loyal Gale. She couldn't put him to the sword.
"Prim," Cato said, his jaw clenched. "Remember what we have… what we could have."
Prim did remember. How could she forget? The thought of Cato dying was so terrible to her, it came in the form of a doppelgänger.
"I can't believe you're even considering him," Gale said. His mouth twisted in a snarl. "You aren't the girl I thought you were. Did he brainwash you? I've heard of some type of disorder where a person can start to think they love the person who abused them. Is that it? It's a trick, Prim."
Cato bristled. His hold on the sword tightened.
"I never hurt her, not in the way you're thinking. You can accuse me of many things, and most of them will be right, but not that."
"You want to know how I know you're a lying sack of shit?" He didn't wait for Cato's answer. "Because a man like you is incapable of love. You've done nothing but bruise her. Without you, she would never have been wrapped up in this shit. Just look at her… look what you've done to her."
Cato's whole body shuddered at the accusation.
"Listen closely slum rat, because this involves you." Cato took an intimidating step towards him, muscles bulging as he raised his sword and pointed it at Gale. "You better hope she chooses before the gong because you're the only thing standing in my way from scooping up my girl and living our lives in peace."
"You think she'll love you after you kill me?"
Cato seemed to consider this, his mouth pinched. Prim sat down and placed her head in her hands, unable to join the conversation. They argued over her, as if trying to convince her, but it only made her more conflicted.
"I don't know," Cato admitted, "But I'm willing to put up with years of her cold shoulder, of her hatred, if it means one more kiss where she means it."
Prim wished for nothing more than the log cabin in the woods, curling against Coral as she made hand shadows on the wall before bedtime. She wished for nothing more than soft as silk white sheets, sliding against their bodies as Cato made love to her. However, she also wanted home, her old shack, and sneaking into the woods with Gale to spend lazy afternoons. Goofing off with Rory and swimming in the lake.
"I can't choose," Prim cried.
"You have to," Gale said, "the gong is coming and soon. Best guess is about thirty minutes until midnight, maybe sooner. Who the fuck knows. There's no time to waste."
Gale sounded desperate, and she didn't blame him. If the gong rang, Cato would flay him alive, maybe quick, maybe slow, like he threatened.
"I'm sorry," Prim said. "Don't make me. Please don't make me."
"Even if you don't choose, it means you've already decided to kill me," Gale said.
She curled on the ground. Cato walked forward as if to hold her, but his cage prevented him.
The seconds ticked by, and the minutes clicked along. She had no concept of time anymore. Cato started off by spinning stories of their future together, what they would do, where they would go. He slid down his cage, leaning his blond head against the shimmering barrier.
"We'll visit District 4 and swim in the ocean. It's pure salt, and the first accidental gulp will shock you. The waves tug you places, and the sand is filled with sea shells. Coral would love them, probably pick them up for hours. And shit, you can feel peace when you lay right before the waves and let the sun soak into you. Nothing is better. We can stay there all day. And then we'll go to District 7 to see the forests. They are prettier and taller than the ones here, almost ancient. You can feel the years in the them. And District 9... Man, District 9 is something else. So flat and filled with wheat, a whole sea of it as far as the eye can see. There's so much of this world I want to show you. There's so much I want to do with you."
Prim understood the stories were not just for her; they comforted him as well, this mythical future heaven. It would not work, not the way he wanted. They were both broken, distorted creatures now. The love would be hard and sharp like it always had been. It damaged as much as it healed. And Snow would never allow them such peace.
Gale started off pleasant as well, reminding her of Katniss, and the happiness they found together.
"Do you remember that time we played Ghost and Fool. Katniss slipped on the ice, rolling down the hill into Old man Brunner, and then they smashed together and hit Wicket, spilling the bag of flour? We ducked out before people could blame us. Man, it took a whole month for her to help clean up the mess. "
The memory of her sister was like a balm to her soul, but Prim understood this was a fairytale too, spun with gold and sugar. She was no longer his little duck, and her sister died long ago. He continued like that for a while, story after story, and when his arguments failed to sway her, failed to even move her from her crumpled form on the ground, he began to rage. He kicked at the dirt, screamed at her, and at the end threatened her.
"You're a fucking whore," he said, "I thought I had to save you. Who knew that the whole time you spread your legs willingly for a career like a traitor."
"You don't know anything," Prim finally said. She uncurled herself, allowing the anger to propel her forward. It was the only thing giving her energy. Anger at Gale. At Cato. At Snow. At herself.
She was tired of it all. The games Snow played grew tiresome. She had enough. Snow believed he had her trapped on the board, sliding her around at will, throwing quests and objects in her path. He set her against the people she loved the most, intending to break her like Jace did. But Snow underestimated her, just like Jace. She refused to play anymore. She was going to take the board and flip it, scattering the pieces.
Prim stood up and walked away, suddenly ignoring Cato and Gale. Their arguments were worthless. She would save them both. Her eyes glued to the ground, searching in the darkness until she found it.
The blade she stabbed Jace with was buried in the leaves, almost covered up, except a flickering glint of metal. Prim bent down and picked it up. It felt more comfortable in her grasp now, as if she earned the blood dried on the tip, a dark maroon that stained the silver.
Prim glanced up to see that both Cato and Gale fell silent and stared at her.
"What are you doing?" Cato asked sharply.
Prim answered by bringing the tip of the knife to her wrist. She'd have to go up, following the vein to ensure death. Slashing across would do nothing but sever her tendons and hurt like a bitch.
"No," Cato said. "Fucking no!" He slapped the shimmering cage and growled. "Don't you dare, Prim!"
Gale was curiously silent. She glanced at him. His face tensed, and his skin grew pale, but he looked at her as if impressed, as if he never thought she had it in her.
"Two tributes get to walk out of here. He never said I had to be one of them."
"Don't do it," Cato threw himself at the invisible cage. He smacked backwards, but he kept going, slamming his shoulder against it. He gave a fierce yell and pounded like a mad animal.
"I refuse to choose. I refuse to play his games anymore. His power over my life is over!"
Prim glared at the sky, welcomed the monster insider her, and slid the knife up her arm. It bit like fire, racing through her veins. I burned sharply, but she made sure to press deep, her last vestige of strength. It was not a coward's death. It was a death meant to string, a slap in the face to the makers of the game, an act of revolution. She did not do what they planned, and the retribution burned in her as the blood poured from her wrist.
"The steel," Cato screamed, "Remember the steel!"
Prim's mind grew fuzzy quick. Darkness ate the edges. It felt pleasant now, as if she could fall asleep. The reaper beckoned her with gentle arms. Blood dripped down her wrist, down her fingers, and off into the leaves below.
Come home, it said.
The steel. The words suddenly zapped something in her mind. She remembered unfurling expensive paper.
The steel is the key to crumble the sky.
And then the third note, found in the bottom of the pill bottle.
When fear is a choice, the circle is the key.
Prim had agonized over the words, twisting and turning them, assuming they were some giant riddle, but now that she was at the end of the maze, the meaning was suddenly, startling clear.
Her fear was now a choice between two people, and the key was steel and a circle.
All this time, the message meant a literal, fucking key.
The gong sounded, a lot sooner than it should have. It was Snow's response to trying to kill herself. He was going to make them fight before she could do what she planned. The earth rumbled underneath her feet, louder and longer than any before. It shook the ground so violently that all three remaining players flattened themselves. When the tremors subsided, Cato was the first up, sword light in his hands.
"The good news is that I have no time for revenge, just a quick, sweet death."
The shimmer around their cage glittered for a few seconds longer, only enough time for Gale to grab his own sword and get in position, before it dissipated.
Cato lunged at Gale, striking hard and fast, but Gale was ready. He bent down, grabbed a handful of dirt, and chunked it in Cato's eyes. Cato cursed and backed up, brushing his face off.
"Stop," Prim said, but it was weak now. She felt the energy leave with the blood. Her thoughts and emotions drained with it. Soon the life would not be there, the spark gone. She had to act quick before her body shut down.
"I see you've taken my lessons to heart," Cato attempted to open his eyes. He only opened them into slits. "But it still won't save you."
Cato swung his sword again, and he missed, tempered by his poor eyesight, but barely. Gale jumped away in time. It continued like this for some time, a dance, until Prim refused to watch anymore.
Her hand went up to her necklace hidden under her shirt, the one Katla gave her. The circle. The key. But the key to what? Her eyes searched the area around her body, stopping with a jolt at the pyramid. It still gleamed in the night, bright enough to see the notches in the side, barely perceptible, even in the daytime. Just a slit into the metal.
It wasn't shaped like a circle, but Prim knew it to be important. Everything in the games had a plan and a purpose. The notch in the side of an otherwise smooth pyramid did too.
Prim hoped she could reach the conclusion before one of them killed the other. She heard the clang of their swords as they met and the quick intake of breath, shuffling of feet, and grunts of evasion.
Prim's vision faded in and out. The blood loss took its toll, sinking its claws into her mind. It once felt like peace, and now it felt like war. She fought the reaper. Not yet, she told him, not right now. The reaper refused her request and began the tug again. Prim did not notice the pain on her forearms, her finger, her wrists, her lower belly. She lost sensation and feeling with each step, almost forgetting her destination and purpose. Pure adrenaline and rage drew her onward.
I will not let Snow win.
I will not let Snow win.
I will not let Snow win.
"Hurry, Primrose, the beasts are coming," Snow said, the voice boomed to her bones.
Another gong rang. It sounded different from the ones before. The sinister sound slicked down her spine like slime, almost toppled her over, but she remained standing. The changes happened quick. Water began to pool under her feet. In the distance, the slimy nightmare fog rolled down the hill in the direction of frozen wastelands. A savage sound came from the forests that reminded Prim of tigers, though it was probably a capitol-mutated, distorted creature. Snow sent his demons to capture her, knowing she was about to do something serious.
She could use the timestopper. Her fingers itched towards her pocket, but it would not be necessary. The beasts would not reach her in time anyway.
She stumbled just before she touched the pyramid. She did not quit and drug herself on her belly with her one good wrist, wading through the water. It took everything left inside, but she pulled herself upwards using the pyramid as support, smearing blood against the gold as she went.
In the corner of her eye, she saw Gale on the ground clutching his side with an injury, crawling on the ground like she did. Cato stalked towards him with the killing blow. She only had a few moments to act.
She looked up at the sky, hoping Snow saw her.
She kissed three fingers and raised them into the air. It was a message to home, to her mom, to Rory, to Brutus, to Madge, to everyone who needed it. And most importantly, it was a fuck you to Snow.
"Distraction didn't work, Snow. And now Redirection failed." Prim ripped off her necklace over her head. "So I choose brimstone and fire!" With that, she slammed the metal into the slit. It sucked inside, and Prim breathed a sigh of relief that she guessed correct.
The pyramid trembled. The whole arena did, much louder and fierce than the gongs. I ripped her feet from underneath her. She landed hard on the ground and knew that without help, she would not be able to stand again.
The darkness nipped again, and the call became harder to ignore. The earthquake rattled the world, as if the ground would rip open and suck her inside. A sudden surreal calm, the world sucking in a breath, and then the pyramid exploded. The top shot off and a bright red laser erupted from inside, striking the ceiling of stars. The cracks started and branched off like a prolonged lightning strike, until it covered the entire expanse. The lights flickered in and out, and then the cracks broke. Sections of stars fell from the sky, and metallic ships crashed through, revealing the real midnight outside. The ships looked older and foreign, something she had never seen, not from the capitol.
Prim glanced at them in wonder. Her last thought should have been at the impossibility of what was happening.
Instead, she could only think of one thing. Something she failed to recognize with her fractured mind.
Cato knew about the key… Cato knew about the Circle.
She hummed Rue's Lullaby under her breath as the stars fell to Earth.
Two Minutes Later
Her mind held on somehow. In the aftermath, she lay broken at the base of the pyramid. A section of ceiling landed near her, electric sparks shooting out of it. An inch closer and she would have lost her leg and most likely her life. The ships landed, giving no time to question or comprehend what was happening.
"Prim! Hold on," Cato screamed over the rubble. He attempted to get to her, crawling over the debris, but didn't make it far before the doors on the ships opened and people streamed out.
Cato snapped straight and turned around, raising his sword in a defense position, ready to use it if need be.
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Someone who found your plans and made our own." The man he spoke to had on a clean uniform that did not match anything in her memory. His hand reached to a pocket, pulled out a gun, and shot Cato in the arm.
Prim almost screamed until she realized that it was a tranquilizer gun and not the real thing. Cato glanced down at the dart in his upper arm. He ripped it out, but already stumbled.
"What do you want?" Cato gasped out.
By this point, several of the soldiers reached her. One of them, heavily built with a dark red beard, picked her up. She tried to fight, to resist. She did not know these people, did not trust them or where they wanted to bring her. But her energy was gone. There was no real fight left in her. The blood loss paired with trauma left her on the brink of consciousness. After being ripped from the ground, they made their way back to the ship, nearly at a run, only stopping to navigate pieces of ceiling.
"Where are you taking me?" Prim asked the man.
"There's no time to explain."
"What about Cato?"
"Our orders are to leave him."
Prim's confusion multiplied. She thought Cato planned this.
"Aren't you the circle?"
The man snorted.
"No, but they'll be here shortly, which is why we need to hurry. They want you just as much as we do."
"Prim!" Cato struggled, seeing them take her away. "Put her down." He tried to walk towards her, but stumbled with the drug flowing through his system, knocking him to his knees.
Gale appeared in front of him with a sneer. He no longer crawled. Prim saw a wound in his side where Cato must have stabbed him. He clutched at it but was still able to stand.
"You thought you were so smart, but you weren't the only one with a plan out of here," Gale said.
"Where are you taking her?" Cato growled.
"Don't worry about Prim. I'll take care of her. She'll grieve you for a little while, but I'll be there to comfort her and step up as a father figure."
Cato's eyes snapped up at that. They looked haunted and old.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I think you've known the truth the whole time."
Above them, new ships arrived. These looked Capitol made, but as they lowered, Prim knew it was the Circle, like the man said. Quintus. Cato's plan. They were fast, but still a little too late.
Cato dropped to his knees, and he picked up his sword as if to use it, but he was past the point of resistance, the drug already winning, and Gale wrested it away.
"Your child will call me daddy. Remember that as you die." Gale pulled back the sword and stuck it in Cato's chest.
Prim screamed and attempted to move, but her body had long ago turned to lead, and the man who held her was very strong. She writhed in his arms, trying to get to the lion.
"Cato," she managed, but it was not loud enough for anyone to hear.
"Come on, there's no time for your games," the red-haired man who held her yelled out to Gale. "His brother is coming, and he'll kill you as easy as Cato would."
Gale yanked his sword out and spit on Cato, walking away. He remained upright, still on his knees, with an open-mouthed expression. The lines in his face smoothed, and his hands went up to the bloody wound on instinct. Prim could only hope he did not hit anything vital.
The unidentified soldiers quickly boarded the ships, Prim along with them. The Circle ships landed, and their soldiers streamed out. They killed a stranded soldier but didn't try to board the ship she stood on. Three of them grabbed Cato. One of them quickly ripped off his helmet to reveal the golden, curly-haired head of Hannibal. His face twisted in panic.
"No, fuck no. Hold on, Cato. I'll fix this." He rummaged in his pocket, taking a vial of liquid, "This should stop the bleeding."
Prim couldn't even wave her arm. Over here, she wanted to say, I'm here. Don't take me from him again.
Cato stared down at the wound in his chest, pouring out blood still in shock. Hannibal shoved his brother's head back, opened his mouth and poured down a vial of something capitol made. Hannibal slammed his jaw shut, forcing him to swallow. Cato fell backwards, losing strength, and Hannibal caught him.
"We need to get him back to the ship."
In the distance, she heard the humming of more ships—most likely real Capitol ships—come to chase and destroy.
Another soldier held Cato's other side and they began dragging his bulk to a ship away from her.
Put pressure on the wound, she wanted to scream. The man she loved was bleeding out, and she was useless and being pulled away.
Gale walked into the ship to stand beside her with his bloodied sword dragging on the metal floor. She wished she could reach over and strangle him.
"Prim," Cato bellowed, despite his mortal wound, as the boarding ramp began to close. Hannibal's head shot up and met her eyes, looking apologetic and devastated, because it was too late. The door closed, the ship rumbled underneath them and took off like a bird. As soon as they were at a steady speed, the man laid her on a small cot.
"She needs this arm fixed or she's a goner."
A flurry of activity happened over her. The darkness in her mind didn't care as they began to poke and prod. They opened her mouth and gave her the same liquid Hannibal gave Cato. Something that helped blood clot over wounds, stemming the bleeding.
"Where are we going?" Prim asked, using the last of her strength.
Gale walked over and brushed the hair off her forehead.
"District 13."
The shock allowed the darkness to win.