It may or may not be 5 am (what a coincidence). Technically, it's not in another time zone. I've been quite busy for the last two weeks, so I just got this chapter done (and, I admit it, I had trouble finding a good way to transition from the current part, which is completely unscripted, to the next one). I'm sorry for all the mistakes there must be in this chapter, I'm way too tired to correct them right now... I hope there isn't another "with a tired face on his face" or skinned papers though ^^"

I'll update a corrected version at some point, probably when I'll do it for the previous chapter (I saw some mistakes in there), but I don't know when yet. I'm supposed to go to Paris (Yay -.- ) to find an appartement so it'll be another busy week (I a soooooo excited to go to a place where rents are so high for appartments without ******* toilets. No thanks, I'd like my toilets in my bathroom and not in the corridor. And I want a bathroom too! Not a shower in my kitchen/bedroom/living room).

(Also, the titles are worsening)

Chapter XXX

Delayed realization

5 am. Is it too late or too early to be awake? One could say it depends on whether you were sleeping previously to making your statement. Then again, Gaster has slept — to awaken roughly twenty hours earlier, that is. Therefore, it is neither early nor late. Which also means he can perfectly choose to say he was up early when his colleagues notice him dozing a little during his students' exam. With a bit of luck, it will avoid him a talk he definitely doesn't want to have with Alphys — he needs to get things figured out on his own first.

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With a moan, Gaster reaches for his mug — time for more tea. After dragging himself to the kitchen, he takes a red and gold metallic box out of the cupboard and opens it. A tired smile on his face, he leans in a little to enjoy the sweet smell of cinnamon and ginger it gives off before putting water on the stove to heat it up. When it starts boiling, he turns off the heat and fills the tea ball before putting it into his mug. He waits a minute or two, just enough to grab and skim through the newspaper on his counter — an article catches his eyes, and he leaves it open on the page — and pours the hot water into his mug. The mug in hand, Gaster takes the newspaper and walks to his couch, almost spilling his tea when he lets himself almost fall on it. Perhaps the three hours of sleep he could still have are in fact worth getting… Yet, he wants to have an answer ready for Alphys — even though she didn't ask anything.

Sipping his hot beverage, Gaster lets his eyes aimlessly scan the room until they fix upon the pile of books on his table. Soul science chapter 3: human souls characteristics, Historic occurences of soul mingling, Absolute soul: the different types of fusions… All this knowledge already explored, and yet no explanation for anything. And those words… The ones that kept Gaster awake…

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"So your soul was shattered?"

"I think… I mean, it's really blurry and I can't… I can't really remember."

"I suppose it was to be expected… I will have to trust what — who… Ah, yes. Grillby, right? Well, I will have to trust what he concluded for now. Do you know how your soul came to be this way? Did you feel anything?"

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He remembers his eyes, staring at him widen by a fear Gaster couldn't understand at first. Sans thought of lying, it was a certainty — his eyes had quickly dashed from him to the ground, a frown appearing on Sans's face as he hesitated to tell the truth. He must have concluded it was his best option, for Gaster sees no point in doubting the wicked explanation Sans gave him. He doesn't even have a hard time believing such a thing could be possible, yet…

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"It's… Uh…"

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He was fidgeting, avoiding Gaster's look at any cost, afraid of speaking — afraid of saying something wrong. Was it because there was something he was ashamed of? Perhaps he felt like he would be misunderstood? No, not quite.

And it clicked.

Sans had always been evasive when he described things, and Gaster had put it on a lack of attention and a disorganised recollection of those events. However, as he was faced with this nervous and scared hesitation, he realized there was a pattern. Unimportant parts were often skipped until Sans noticed they were needed, more important events were slightly mocked as to make them seem less crucial than they were, and hard ones… Hard ones were avoided while blaming fuzzy memories. At first, Gaster thought Sans just assumed he wouldn't like a graphic depiction of Myriad's death, but now he could see it wasn't the only reason. Sans was perfectly able to recall some of the smallest quirks of Papyrus's personality, quirks Gaster never noticed within anyone. He was able to figure people out quickly, thanks to those details he saw in their behaviour without even trying. Surely his memory of those events were far from being as blurry as he pretended.

He was purposely avoiding to remember them.

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The sound of trembling breaths and barely suppressed sobs made him realize why.

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"It's Paps… He- It hurt, but… not really. It's like it was from… inside? And… I couldn't see. Felt… cold, really. And Paps, he- His soul… I don't know… It felt… warm, and nice… It… It made the- the pain go away. It was like- like something was given to me, and… and I… I took it. I'm s- it-"

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Gaster couldn't understand what he said after that, and he had stopped trying to decipher the meaning of those words broken by sobs. The knowledge simply wasn't worth the pain. There was a reason Sans had avoided relating those events. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but he couldn't. Those memories were too fresh, too painful. Gaster should have known what to expect, he should have been prepared to hear about pain — and he did! Yet, he wasn't ready for the emotions which came with. Sans wasn't either… He had managed to distance himself enough to actually relate what happened, but not to talk about how he felt when it happened. He had learned not to dwell on what he had lived through without learning to deal with it — it was what he needed at the time, to always move forward. Now that he was eventually relieved of the former, everything he had bottled up could be let go of.

It took Gaster a while to calm him down — he didn't know what to do. At first, he had look with a confused expression as he tried to understand what was causing all of this. Only once the shadow of an idea rose in his head did he actually act. Even, his movements were quite unsure — after all, he was almost sure he had care for Alphys more than for his own son, and the age gap wasn't helping. Gaster stood up to move next to Sans. Sitting on the table, he reached for his hands to hold into his own — an awkward position, but the best he could manage without getting uncomfortably close. He closed his eyes, focusing on calming his soul with his magic, only opening them when he felt bushy hair rubbing against his leg.

After a while, Sans looked up at him, still trembling.

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"I was dead, right?"

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Gaster didn't answer.

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Even now, as he is taking the last sip of his tea, the newspaper still resting on his lap, he wouldn't have answered. He knew what to respond — he didn't want to.

Gaster may have unintentionally adopted another child XD

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Also, I'm laughing (I shouldn't) because :

Arc 1 - Sans : Tell me I'm not dead

Arc 5 - Sans : Confirm I was dead

Way to go, kid! Next time, can I get a warning for your "I don't know what coping is but Death seems to like me so I'll go with that instead" moments? No? But, like, future you will have to deal with Frisk! We've got to solve a lot of issues before that...

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PS: I know Roman numbers up to, like, 50 or something (I think other letters gets thrown in at this point), so I have 20 short chapters to finish the story