Kotonoha was woken up roughly.

What the…

The doorbell rang again. Her boyfriend woke up as well. He groaned loudly.

She untangled herself from his embrace.

"Too early," he complained.

She mumbled something back as she put on a bathrobe to cover her naked body. "I'll go check it out."

"Hm." He turned on his side.

Kotonoha took the stairs down. The bell rang again.

"Coming."

Who bothered them at this hour?

Kotonoha reached the door and opened it slightly.

Damn.

There were two people at the door. Both young men in cop uniforms.

"Police," one of them said. He held up a card. "Can we come in?"

"Uhm…"

Had they found her? Should she make a run for it?

"We're investigating the disappearance of…" he checked a small notebook. "Mr. Katsura. His wife called us last night. Is she home?"

"Oh. She's at work I think."

They threw each other a strange look.

"Can we come in?" the other one asked.

"S-Sure."

Kotonoha opened the door completely.

They entered.

She noticed they were both very focused on removing their shoes when they noticed she only had a bathrobe on.

Someone came down the stairs.

"Something wrong?" Makoto had put on a bathrobe as well.

"Your boyfriend?" one of the cops asked.

"Yeah."

They both looked at each other.

"Sorry to interrupt," one of them said.

"N-No problem."

She went into the living room. The others followed.

"Have a seat." She gestured towards the couch.

They sat down in one of the couches. She sat down in the other one.

Makoto went to sit next to her and took her hand. He squeezed it softly.

One of the cops took out his notebook again. "So according to your mother your father disappeared three days ago."

"Yes."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Stay calm. They didn't know anything. She had to keep it that way.

She took a deep breath. "I-I don't know," she started. "We went to bed after dinner and the next morning he was gone."

"And you didn't see him after you went to bed?" the cop asked.

"N-No, I was asleep," Kotonoha said.

"You seem uncomfortable," the other cop noticed.

"Her dad has been missing for three days, of course she's uncomfortable," Makoto barked.

The cop turned red. "Uhum, of course."

"Did you check his room?" the other one asked.

"Mom checked his workroom, but she didn't find anything."

"Hm. Can I take a look?"

"Sure. It's up the stairs. Second door on the left."

"I'll find it."

He went up.

"So nothing strange happened that night?" the other cop pressed on. "He didn't behave weird? Said something strange. Anything."

"Well, it… it was the first time he went to dinner with my boyfriend so he was a bit… but that's not…"

"There was that call," Makoto said.

"What call?" the man seemed interested now.

"Well at one point his cell phone rang and he went outside to take the call. He was gone pretty long and he acted nervous when he returned."

"Hm. What did he say it was?"

"Trouble at work."

What was Makoto going on about? Nothing like that had happened.

This had to be part of his plan.

The door opened again. "Found something."

"That's his phone," Kotonoha said. "Where did you get that?"

"Bottom drawer of his desk, beneath some papers. It's turned off. Do you know his pin?"

"Try 0104 or 1128," Kotonoha said.

The cop did as she asked. "There we go. It was 1128."

"Should have known," she mumbled.

"How did you know?" Makoto asked.

"Kokoro's birthday."

"His last call was on the night he disappeared," the cop said. "With a women named Mel. Sound familiar?"

"His secretary," Kotonoha said.

Makoto must have arranged this all.

"Let's see then." The cop typed over the number in his own phone and called. "Hello?"

[...]

"Police. We're looking for Mr. Katsura."
[...]

"Oh, I see. Well that explains."

[...]

"Yes, thank you very much."

The cop hung up.

"Did you find him?" Kotonoha asked.

"Uhm," the officer hesitated. "How… how would you describe the relationship between your parents?"

"Well, not… not that bad." She avoided his gaze.

"Then why is she working right now when her husband is missing? Why did she only call us after three days?"

"Well…" Kotonoha didn't know what to say to that.

"According to his secretary, they were having an affair for over a year."

"What? That's impossible. Dad would never do that."

"She said they were planning to leave together all along," the cop continued. "But he kept postponing it. So that night she called saying they would leave right now or she would break up with him."

"B-But why didn't he say anything?"

"Well," the cop said. "This is a pretty big house. I assume your dad makes a lot of money."

"My dad… oh. I see." It could indeed look like he didn't want an expensive divorce.

"He probably emptied his accounts and left."

"Well, case closed I'm afraid," the other cop said. "Your dad is long gone and he left out of his own volition. We can't do anything, I'm sorry."

"I understand. Thanks anyway."

"If you want, we can call someone for you."
"No need," she said. "I have my boyfriend." She squeezed Makoto's hand.
"Okay. Good day, Miss."

She walked them outside and closed the door behind them.

Kotonoha let out her breath.

She returned to the living room.

Makoto embraced her. "Well done."

"Who was that?" she asked. "On the phone."

"Sekai," he replied. "I switched the number before turning off his phone."

Kotonoha sat down on the couch again. "Sekai knows?"

"She didn't ask," Makoto said. "I told her it was important so she did it."

"Okay. And you didn't tell me the plan…"

"So your reactions would be genuine. The cops are completely convinced. Didn't I tell you I'd fix it?"

She still wasn't convinced. "What if someone else asks about him?"

"Tell them the same story. Tell them he ran away with his secretary."

"What if his secretary asks?" Kotonoha insisted.
"Just tell people he ran away with a younger woman without giving them the details."
Hm. That could work. People would happily believe that. Her dad was rich, and people were more than willing to believe rich people did things like this. Even so…

"What about my mom?"

"Tell her you won't give her the name of the woman because you're afraid she will do something stupid."

"Okay then."

"There is nothing to worry about, Kotonoha. They'll never find out what actually happened."

"W-What did you do with-"

"Shh," he shushed her. "Just trust me. I've taken care of every loose end."

"Okay then."

"The festival is tomorrow," he changed the subject.

"We're still gonna dance, right?"

"Of course. I didn't practice so much for nothing."

"We went to one lesson."

"That doesn't mean I didn't practice on my own," he argued. "Like you did for my private dance."
She felt a sudden urge to…

Makoto was surprised at first by her sudden kiss, but then he settled into it.

She moved to sit on his lap.

His hands went beneath her bathrobe to play with her boobs.

"I want you," he said. Makoto pulled her bathrobe open.

"Makoto-kun." She blushed.

"I mean it," he told her. "I want to make love to you."

"W-We can't," Kotonoha protested. She closed her bathrobe again.

"Why not?"

"I-I'm not ready." It was too scary. What if she did something wrong? By now, the anticipation was so high she just…

He sighed. "Okay then."

"I'm sorry. Shall I take care of it with my mouth?"

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled.

Kotonoha frowned. "You don't like that?"

"I do. I love it. But it feels like you're just doing it out of guilt."

"I don't. I love doi- I love sucking your cock, Makoto." She blushed a bit when she said it out loud. "I really do. Can I? Please?"

"Even if you say that, it feels like you're only doing it because… I don't know. I don't want you to do this instead of real sex. It's not a replacement."

"I know. But… I just can't. Not yet."

He sighed again. "When? What are you waiting for, Kotonoha?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "It just doesn't feel right. I want it to be…"

"Special?" he suggested.
"Something like that. I always imagined my first time would be…"

"Oh no. You've got to be kidding me."
She frowned. "What?"
"Go ahead and finish," he urged her. "Tell me how you imagined it."

"I… that…" Kotonoha stammered. She looked away.

He took her chin and forced her to look at him. "I asked you a question."

Kotonoha swallowed hard. There was no more room to evade now. "W-Well, I sometimes dream about it."

"Like the one with the horses in Europe? And the rain?"

She blushed. "C-Can you see all my dreams?" What else had he seen? This was so embarrassing.

"I don't know. Do you keep a dream diary?"

"No. B-But, if I dream about it, doesn't that mean I'm ready?"

"Well I imagine it doesn't hurt in your dreams? And it's all perfect?"

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"So you'll probably start freaking out if it doesn't go exactly like that."

"Maybe. I do freak out a lot. Maybe that's why I'm so scared? I really don't want to ruin it for you."

"We could try to do it like in one of your dreams," he suggested. "Then it won't be as scary. You'll have done it already."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. But…"

"We'll need to pick something realistic," he finished. "We can't go to Europe and wait until it rains."

"I had a dream this morning. But I can't remember it. If those cops hadn't woken me up then…"

"We have time," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just…"

"It's okay," he assured her.

"No it's not. Why aren't you angry at me? I'm being selfish here. I never think about what you want."

"I am angry," he said. "But not at you. Just in general."

"But-"

"Kotonoha." His voice was very serious. "I could do it right now. You know that, don't you? If I said I'd leave you unless we do it right now, what would you do?"

"Do you… is that…"

"Hypothetically speaking," he clarified.

"I-I'd do it. I'd let you do it. I understand you want this and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it from your girlfriend. Not after we've been together this long."

"But then it wouldn't be very satisfying, would it? I'd feel guilty about pressuring you like this. You wouldn't have enjoyed it very much because you felt forced and scared. We'd both feel bad about it."

"But you're feeling bad right now. The longer we wait, the more frustrated you'll get."

"I want you to do it because you want to."

"I do. I really want it, but…" She sighed. Why was this so hard?

"You're not gonna get any more confident," he said.

"I know. Just… give me some time to think about all this, okay? It's a bit sudden."

"Sudden? Kotonoha, we-"

"After the festival," she quickly said. "One day, I don't need any more than that."

"And then what? What if you decide you're still not ready?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Things can't stay like this, Kotonoha. I understand you need time, but if you can't tell me how much then…" he sighed. "I can wait for as long as you need, but this is killing me. It could be a month, it could be a year, it could be never for all I know. You could ask me to wait every day for as long as you like and it's only gonna lead to more drama between us."

"I know. Just… can we talk tomorrow? Please."

"Okay then."

She hugged him. "Thanks."

"It's okay."

"It's not."

"True. But we'll figure it out, together."

They held each other for a while.

"I'll leave you alone tonight," he said.

"No, please." She held onto him.

"We won't be together all the time, Kotonoha," he said calmly. "You know that. My mom is gonna get worried if I stay away even longer. And I want you to think by yourself. If I'm here, you won't do any thinking."

"I'm scared," she said.

"What do you suggest? Go live together?"

Kotonoha blushed. "Would that be so bad? I want you, Makoto. I-"
"Kotonoha," he interrupted her. "You don't even know if you're ready to have sex with me yet, and now you're saying you want to live together?"

"Well, that… if you put it that way…"

He looked very uncomfortable now. "I love you, but-"

"I understand," she quickly said. "It's just that… I don't know if I can sleep without you next to me. My dreams…"

"You still have nightmares?" he asked.

"No, but… you've been with me for the last three days. What if they return when you're gone?"

"I've got something." Makoto pulled off his shirt.

"M-Makoto?"
He handed it to her and went to his bag.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.
"Whatever you did with it last time. You think I believe you forgot to return it for a week?"

Kotonoha turned red. "That…"

"It's okay," he said. Makoto pulled a fresh shirt over his head. "I don't mind."

"T-Thanks."

"Sorry I can't stay."

"I understand. You'll be with me in my dreams."

"Are your dreams R-rated?"

"S-Sometimes," she avoided.

Makoto chuckled. "I'll see you at the festival."

"Okay."

They kissed.

Kotonoha walked him to the station. She stared until his train was out of sight. When it was gone, she returned home.

\

It was late at night when her mom finally came home.

"Ah, there you are."

"Oh, hey mom." Kotonoha looked up from the book she pretended to read.

"Still no word from your dad?"

"Uhm, I think you better sit down."
Frowning, her mother sat down on a kitchen chair.

"The cops came here this morning," Kotonoha explained. "And they… they found out where he is."
"How?"

"They found his cell phone and dialed the last number. It turns out he… he left on his own. With uhm… his mistress."
"What? That's impossible." Her mom stood up.

"Well it's true."
"Who is it?"

"What are you gonna do if you find out?"

"Just tell me."

"No. You're gonna do stupid things. Besides, he's no longer in the country. They got on a plane days ago."
"He would never do that," Manami insisted.

"Oh come on, mom. He went missing and you just went to work as if nothing happened. It took you three days to call the cops."

"Well I'm gonna find out," her mom said. "Just wait and see."
She grabbed her coat.

"Mom? What are you doing?"

"I'll find him."

"Mom."

The door slammed close.

Kotonoha hurried after her. Her mom was going outside.

She cursed under her breath when her bare feet hit the cold stones.

Her mother got in her car and started the engine. She drove backwards dangerously fast and turned.

"Mom!"

The car accelerated towards the gate.

Kotonoha ran behind it, but it was pointless.

She cursed again and went back inside.

Kotonoha took out her phone and selected the first number from the speed dial.

"Makoto? We have a problem."

[What happened?]

She explained the situation.

[Don't worry,] he assured her. [She won't find anything. There is nothing to find.]

"You sure?"

[You don't trust me?]

"I do, but-"

[No buts. You either trust me or you don't.]

Kotonoha swallowed hard. "I trust you."

[Okay.]

It was silent for a moment.

[We have to get up early tomorrow.]

"Yeah, we better get to sleep. I'll get ready."

[Me too.]

"Can you… I uhm… I want to say goodnight."

[No problem. Give me a few minutes to brush my teeth and get changed.]

"Okay."

Kotonoha went upstairs. She put her phone on her bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. When she returned, she stripped down. At her underwear, she hesitated.

With a shrug, she took off her bra and panties and got under the covers.

With Makoto's shirt next to her, she could imagine she was sleeping naked with him and…

[Kotonoha?]

"Oh. Uhm, hey."

[Hey again.]

"So uhm, goodnight."

[Sleep tight.]

…

[I love you.]

She smiled. "Me too."

He broke off the call.

Kotonoha put her phone away and rolled on her side. She held his shirt in her hands.

If only he was here now, then maybe…

She shook off the thought.

Let's just go to sleep.