Quarantine

When she figured out she was infected with a respiratory virus from Malaysia, Audrey immediately thought of Emma and of how she was going to let her down if she died. For sure it wasn't her fault. She was blameless and anyone could have been infected but knowing that she had someone at home to fight for at least gave her the motivation to do all she could to stay alive. As she locked herself in quarantine, she told herself that she wouldn't go down without a fight.

At first, she was optimistic she'd survive. Her treatment had been started earlier than the other patients and her symptoms seemed to only be mild. But after she passed out, her positivity was knocked down a notch. She woke up, lying on one of the too familiar ER stretchers, hooked to an IV and monitors and with a nasal canula delivering high levels of oxygen. A glance at the screen behind her was enough for her brain to process the fact that things weren't looking bright. She eventually decided to rest a bit while she could hear the worry in Morgan's voice as she was discussing her treatment options with Andrews.

Eventually Reznick left to round the other patients. When she came back, she took a moment to acknowledge her emotions over Tyler's death. Audrey saw her and pictured Emma feeling something much stronger when both her parents had died. She felt for the young resident and gather her strength to present her condolences.

"Sorry for your loss."

Morgan thought the attending doctor was sleeping and her words startled her. Immediately her faced changed from worried to focused and she turned to face Audrey.

"Status?" Audrey asked, already knowing it wasn't improving.

"O2 SAT is 92, respiratory rate is down to 16" Morgan said watching the monitor and listening to Audrey's lungs at the same time. Then she looked at her, hoping to convey hope on her face.

"Your lungs sound clearer".

It was better than Audrey had expected. She knew Morgan already knew what to do but this was her body and she was still the senior doctor in the room. She couldn't help but giving her directions. "Keep pulmonary edema to a minimum with conservative fluid management. Use furosemide so my CVP's under 8".

"Absolutely."

It felt good to still be in control, yet she felt her death approaching faster than she would have hoped. It worried her she hadn't been able to call Kashal with whom Emma was spending Christmas. No one would know if she died. Or at least, no one would be holding her hand if she died. She would be alone, too proud to admit she had a family and a daughter she loved more than she cared to say. Maybe Neil would call Emma… but he didn't have her number and her phone was locked with her in quarantine.

She took a deep breath and sighed.

"I love this place. I always said I'd be doing this 'til the day I died. Ta-da."

"We started your treatment early. You'll be back to repairing late-night, drunken head injuries in no time." Morgan tried to reassure her but Audrey was caught in the train of her thoughts.

"I forgot to call my mom on her birthday… I forgot my daughter's cross-country meet". She paused to catch her breath.

"She won nationals" she added with a weak smile, her eyes staring at something in the distance. "I forgot to do a lot of stuff..."

Morgan smiled at her, wondering if Lim mentioning a daughter was her already being delirious from the fever or if indeed, she was a mother. She thought about confronting her about it when she'd be recovered and agreed to put Tyler out of sight before leaving Audrey to rest.

Her fever soon spiked and her lungs filled up with fluids. It felt like drowning slowly. She was trying harder and harder to catch her breath, upped her oxygen to the maximum without feeling any difference. Eventually fear took over and the monitors began beeping frantically.

Nurse Villanueva walked in the room first and was quickly followed by Morgan. By the time they were deciding to start her on bronchodilators, it was already too late.

"Dr. Lim... can you hear me?" Morgan asked while Audrey was working harder and harder to catch her breath, unable to answer but looking at her with pleading eyes. Morgan acted rapidly, lowering Audrey's head down and taking away the pillow. However, the scene seemed to be happening in slow motion from Lim's point of view. She felt a hand tilting her head back, meaning she was about to be intubated.

She wanted to scream that she wasn't unconscious, that she could feel every one of their movements. And hear them. But only the sound of her painful breath were to be heard.

"O2 SATs are still dropping." She heard Nurse Villanueva saying.

Breathing was almost impossible but she was still there. Awake. Alive. Then she felt Morgan's hand on her chin.

"Push paralytics. Starting intubation."

It was time. Audrey wondered if it was going to hurt, if she'd only be paralyzed or if they would put her to sleep. Thoughts raced in her head as she knew she might never come out of the ventilator. And then she felt the propofol burning through the IV in her arm. At least she would sleep. And then she completely blacked out.

* *

Audrey woke up without a tube in her throat. As she glanced around, she noticed the ECMO monitor next to her bed and felt the large canula popping out of her thigh. She triggered the monitors when her pulse oximeter dropped. Morgan rushed to figure out what was happening. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Audrey, weakly trying to sit up and asking for some water.

"ECMO. That was a ballsy move" Audrey said, with gratitude in her eyes.

Soon the quarantine was cleared and Lim moved to a room in the ICU. A room in which she would be monitored for a few days, receive high doses of medication which would all make her drowsy and constipated. She didn't like the idea of having to lie in bed for days, especially in that state and in a hospital where everyone knew her and would look at her with pitty but at the same time, she felt in no shape to do anything else but sleep.

She was daydreaming when she heard some footsteps. She turned her head and saw Melendez walking in.

"Merry Christmas" he said with a smile.

"I don't think I'll forget this one" she replied in her usual sarcastic tone and they both chuckled. She still wondered how she had gotten from sleeping with him on December 23rd to being infected with a deadly virus on Christmas eve.

"Me neither" he said gently, sitting on a stool next to her bed. When he thought about it, seeing Audrey being the patient was the last thing he had expected when the outbreak had begun.

"The idea of you not being around... wasn't okay with me" he added awkwardly.

"Who would I drink bourbon with?"

"I think my bourbon days are behind me for a little while" Audrey reminded him, her voice still a bit husky.

"I'll wait."

Audrey smiled a little, not knowing exactly how she was supposed to feel about it. She knew she loved Neil, but she was afraid of admitting those feelings. And what if he didn't love her back? What if she was indeed, just a one-night stand that "definitely should not happen again" because, as she had stated, it would make things at work too complicated.

Neil stood up and walked towards the door and stopped in his tracks.

He turned his face to look at her and added "And by the way, I took the liberty to call someone" before winking and walking out of the room for good. It didn't take long for Audrey to connect the dots as a worried Emma ran into the ICU and hugged her mother as hard as she could.

"Mom!"

Audrey buried her head in her neck and let her daughter's affection sooth her and reassure her. Maybe all wasn't lost. Maybe she wasn't that bad of a mother.

"Thank you for not dying" she whispered.

"You might have to bear with me for a few more years" Audrey teased her and they both chuckled, too happy to be reunited.