My internship is over and so are my vacation... So here is the next chapter :)

Chapter XXXXV

Thoughts are deeper than words

His experiments had always been conducted in order to prove or debunk an hypothesis. They were planned according to what he wished to observe, often producing a conclusive result he could analyse. They were not made out of trials and errors, not since he had started to work with actual souls. He could not afford trials and errors with souls — and even less with time itself. Nevertheless, Gaster has been forced to admit it was the only way this time: theory can only make the experiments safer, but the truth was that they are utterly blind tests when it comes to the results. Not only does he not know what he is looking for, but this time he cannot afford to alter the soul he is working with — not even the slightest.

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'Well Gaster, you sure look concerned tonight.'

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The words surprise him — or, rather, the voice does. There is someone with him. Even the previous month, he would have been brooding over his coffee alone. It is not the case anymore. This callback to reality, to the present time… He was not expecting it, definitely not.

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'Sorry Ms. Triceri, I…'

'Epsy.' She smiles, she always does. 'Please, I don't call you Doctor!'

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He is not alone, not anymore. The life he pushed away years ago for the sake of his work is slowly creeping its way back, simping into each and every hole it left when it was rejected — and somehow it feels just right. He only wishes he would have realized it sooner… Before losing things — people — he cannot get back. And now, he can only hope he will not lose more because of a past still determined to poison the present.

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'Sorry, Epsy… It's just that I… It's complicated.'

'It's your sons, isn't it?' Her eyes are sparkling as she gently mocks him. 'They're hard to manage?'

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It is not a question, she knows for sure they can be — she had to deal with them firsthand! Still, it is one funny thought to imagine the Royal Scientist, a Monster well known for his ability to handle the impossible, having trouble dealing with two boys. She would rather think about the incongruity of the situation than why the boys were there in the first place…

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'I wouldn't say that. It's more my… hum… work, that's hard to manage toward them. I don't want to make…' Gaster stops mid sentence, sighing deeply. 'I don't want to lose them because of it.'

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The truth is… He may lose them regardless of it. The clock is ticking, and he is the only one hearing the dreadful sound of the second hand - he is the only one knowing.

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'Raising children alone is no simple task, that's for sure. It's like constantly juggling with more balls than you can handle.' He watches Epsy as she accompanies her words by illustrative gestures, words he knows have not always been hers — words she has been taught, and that she is now teaching too. 'You have to know which ones are cotton, and which ones are glass. No one can do everything, so there are choices that have to be made.'

'You know that from experience,' he says.

'My husband is rarely home, I had to.' Epsy takes a sip of coffee, inviting him with a gesture to do the same — he should finish it before it gets cold. 'Speaking of, you've spent way more time home since Papyrus and Sans came with you.'

'Well…' Gaster almost lets out a laugh — almost. These two boys really made his life take a turn he had not been expecting! 'While I don't doubt their ability to get around without me, I'd rather not leave Papyrus alone for too long when Sans isn't home. He can get a little too… creative when bored.'

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And by creative, Gaster means "make a bone maze in the kitchen" creative… Something that led to two questions: how did Papyrus get his hands on so many bones, and how did he manage to pull out such a thing in barely two hours only using glue? He does not want to know.

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'I'm trying to sign him in school, but he'll need a personal teacher first. Myriad had him homeschooled and it's not like Sans could have…' Gaster leaves his sentence dangling, not wanting to allude to what happened back in Home and all the problems that ensued. 'I just want him to be able to really choose what he gets to do.'

'Doesn't he want to be part of the Royal Guard?'

'He does…' he answers, his voice lowering into a whisper as he looks away. 'Like mother, like son.'

Epsy tries to reach for his hand, but her short arms can barely get her to brush his fingers, so she settles for a little pinch to get his attention. 'Let me guess: you don't want him to?'

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Gaster hesitates — he would rather not talk about it. However, Epsy is the only person he knows who could understand, she is the only one he would even dare to consider as a friendly figure aside from Asgore, and Asgore cannot know about his life right now. Asgore can never know the whole truth.

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'The Royal Guard cost me his mother… It almost took him too. Besides, he would not fit in there, I know it.'

'Was it the Royal Guard, or was it your own work?'

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But Epsy doesn't know the whole truth either. While Gaster has come to terms with the fact that his work made him lose his family in the first place, he cannot forget it was the Royal Guard that almost made him lose it forever. A part of him would love a life where he was still mindlessly working for Asgore without having to care for anyone but himself, because then it would mean Myriad was still there to take care of Papyrus and Sans. Such a life would mean neither of them would be in danger of having their souls grow unstable. It would not be perfect, but he would have rather been the worst father to ever walk the surface of Earth than the only parent both of these boys had left.

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"What has gotten into you, Royal scientist? Friend of Asgore?"

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Love.

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And this time, he will not make the mistake of taking it for granted.

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oOo

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It's past midnight, Epsy left a couple of hours ago and Gaster can still hear Sans and Alphys muffling their laughs from time to time. He is sitting in the kitchen, quietling rereading the notes he took during all the tests he had run in the past weeks. They are not good, they never were. In fact, they look even worse than before now that he cannot keep them a secret anymore. He has been postpointing this moment for a while, pretending he wanted to know more before telling the boys about the results… The truth is that he did not want to tell them — and he still does not, if not exactly for the same reason.

Unstable, borderline, unpredictable, fragile… Words he wishes he never wrote, because he knows too well why he did.

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The clock is ticking, and he needs better equipment before there is nothing left for him to save.

He needs to find a solution before they run out of time.

Aye! We're finally getting there! Because at this point I really want to know what those results are (kidding, I know what they are and I hate it). And we'll get to the labs! I've been waiting for the labs' part forever, mostly because it's where the story take the turns it needs for the game to be in the same timeline (and also because it's the end of the story and it sounds really neat in my head).