#3

"Screw you."

"Yeah? Screw you, too."

She threw a twenty dollar bill down on the table and stalked out of the restaurant. Elliot was left in her angry wake. He didn't see which direction Olivia was headed, it was just away from him.

"Goddam you," he muttered. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes. Another woman had torn his heart out and stomped on it. But this time it was different.

It was Olivia.

XXXX

Elliot knew he'd betrayed Olivia's trust by not opening up about his divorce. It's not like he was obligated to tell her, it was just that she'd get all upset and want to talk about it. That's what he couldn't deal with. So nothing was said, and there'd been no big blowups between them, just angry silence. Until now.

The walk to the precinct was a long one and he dawdled, not wanting to catch up to her. Snow swirled in the air and gusts of wind buffetted his back. It had been a long December for everyone. What was it, just days ago, he'd shared a cup of hot chocolate with her on a long and terrible stakeout. No perp, no nothing. The car windows were steaming up and she laughed long and loud as he wiped them down, making reference to making out. Taking the cup from her hands, Elliot noticed how lovely she was that day. No makeup, no jewelry, just that smile he didn't see very often anymore.

Maybe that was their swan song. The light at the end of the tunnel. Now she wanted out of their partnership and out of SVU. And to rub salt in the wound, he had to hear about it from Cragen, who was clearly not happy about Olivia's decision. So he feigned dumb and asked her to lunch. And maybe he tried a little too hard to find out what had gone wrong.

"Is it something I did? Liv, we've known each other for almost a decade and I would have hoped you'd open up to me," he said, looking her directly in the eye.

"Oh, like you were so open about your divorce?"

Elliot dropped his napkin on the table and sighed. "I'm not going to get in a pissing contest with you because you'd win," he said, never dropping eye contact. Her eyes darted nervously around the restaurant. "We're a team. They can't beat us."

"Were a team, Elliot. You've been complaining about me to Munch and Casey. God, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Since Kathy left, you've been the angriest son of a bitch on the block and everytime I think I get close to you, you pull away."

His eyes opened wide. That would have been his next argument.

Elliot's train of thought broke. He was standing in a crosswalk, and the cars were honking. An old man puttered by in an old Pontiac. He reminded Elliot of his own grandfather, a doctor from Missouri who served in Korea as a Colonel well into his fifties. A sharp pinprick of light behind his eyes brought the feeling of loss back again. He loved his grandfather dearly. It was the healthiest relationship he'd ever had. Even his time with Kathy couldn't match those days on the farm, watching the horses run or riding the tractor or trying on old Army fatigues. Why the hell does everything have to be so complicated? Why the hell does love have to be so complicated?

"You love this too much to just chuck it all! Why? Why now?"

"You know damn well why. I need a change, I need to concentrate on real life and real relationships,' she said, making no effort to lower her voice.

"This is a real relationship. You know how Fin calls you my second wife? And how I never disagree with that? I love you and would never want to see you - "

Elliot stopped. A twinge of fear shot up his spine. He'd laid it out on the table now, unintentionally, and it was up to her to call his bluff.

"Screw you."

Olivia knew he'd never use a word like "love" lightly. Between them it was the only word that fit now. You love friends and you love your wife and you love your partner. He didn't love her like a friend or a partner. But he'd settle for that now. Even if she just loved him like you love a certain type of ice cream.

Elliot was certain she loved him. He could see it in her eyes that day on the stakeout. Everytime they touched there was an electricity. Munch mentioned that once, when he thought Elliot was out of earshot.

"Uh, they're both in there and the current's really flowing today."

It was amazing that he'd be the one to say it first. Who would have believed she would be the proud one, scared to bare her heart to the man who alternately infuriated and protected her day in and day out? His resolve had crumbled day to day and all his feelings of anger and guilt laid his heart wide open. She'd seen him beating his locker and didn't say anything. Maybe she would have if the feeling was mutual.

Elliot was at the precinct now. He breezed in with the snow and was intercepted by Huang and Casey.

"God, we just heard. I'm sorry, Elliot, that she didn't tell you. If I would have seen it coming I'd have tipped you off," said Casey, resting her hand on his arm.

"If you need to talk...you know where I am. Casey and I were going to get some coffee if you want to come along," Huang offered.

Elliot shook his head. "You haven't seen her, have you?" he asked, a fake smile cracking his face in half.

"She came in about ten minutes ago. I imagine she'd either be in the crib or on the roof," Huang smiled back, but his eyes were full of concern. Casey noticed this and let go of Elliot's arm.

"Thanks," Elliot said tersely. He walked away quickly, leaving Casey shaking her head.

"What a mess."

Elliot sprinted to the roof and quietly opened the door. He could see Olivia's back. She was leaning on her elbows, looking out at the city lights. The snow was still falling and she was without a jacket, shivering slightly. Elliot walked up beside her.

"You left me hanging there, Liv," he said quietly, but she still jumped at the sound of his voice. Olivia turned to look at him, but quickly gave the city her full attention again. "Bet you never thought I'd say it."

"I wish I hadn't heard you say it," she said, remaining expressionless.

"What do you mean?"

"Because it's always been a lie. My mother would say it after she hit me. Boyfriends say it to get you to bed. It's just junk talk to me and there's too much hurt attached to it."

Elliot thought about his grandfather letting him drive the tractor. The sun rose and set on that man. Elliot loved him as much as he loved Olivia.

"You ran away because you know I meant it," he said, not looking at her. "It scares me, too. Maybe it shouldn't matter if you don't love me back."

"Who says I don't?"

She turned to lock eyes with him. It was such an unexpected response, Elliot was speechless for a moment. They just stood there in silence, waiting for the other to speak up.

"Is that why you're leaving?" he finally choked out.

Olivia touched his arm. He felt an instant pang of pity for her, like you would finding an abandoned kitten in a storm drain. She was so lost underneath that tough exterior.

"Yes," was all she said, in sort of an exhale.

He embraced her and began to cry out of confusion and stress and all that had come to light on that rooftop. Olivia reached up and pulled his head down to hers.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered into his ear. Elliot could feel the dampness of her cheek. She was crying, too.

"I don't know either,' he said. Her lips brushed his cheek. He tightened his arms around her and they both looked up into the sky. Then, as if on cue, their lips met and they kissed for the first time on the rooftop in the falling snow. Every bit of anger, passion and love they had for each other boiled down to this kiss.

When they broke apart, Elliot smiled. She was still in his arms, blushing furiously.

"Are we still partners?" he asked.

Olivia smiled back and lightly punched him on the arm.

FADE OUT

XXXXXXX

Author's Note: Which one did you like best? I wrote the first one in about thirty minutes. This last one was the hardest to hammer out. That's because the characters are so distant now it's getting harder and harder to imagine them together.