To say that she was distracted would be the understatement of her life. Jessie could not focus on her shopping list for more than two minutes without being interrupted by thoughts of Jonny and what it felt like to be with him. What it would feel like to be with him.
"Jessie, are you sure you're alright?" Hadji broke into her thoughts.
"Great. Totally fine," she answered. "Why?"
"For starters, I asked you three times before getting that very unconvincing response," he grinned.
"Sorry," she apologized and searched her brain for a convincing excuse. "I'm still wound up from school. Distracted. It was a stressful semester."
"And shopping a few days before Christmas isn't a good stress reliever?" he joked.
"I can think of better ways," she agreed half-heartedly. Thinking about Jonny again. How he would hopefully help her relieve a lot of stress later. "So…what are you getting your brother?" she asked. Trying to direct her thoughts into more productive territory.
"No idea. You?" he asked.
"Not sure," she replied slowly as her eyes caught sight of something interesting. "Not sure," she said again. "But I just thought of something for you and it's on this floor," she lied smoothly. "Can we shop on different levels for a bit?"
"Sure. Want to meet at the food court in an hour?" he suggested.
"Perfect," she told him and headed in the opposite direction of where she needed to be. The last thing she wanted was to be caught, but she headed toward the shop once she saw her friend's head disappear over the escalator.
'Okay,' she psyched herself up. 'Go in and pick out something tasteful that will hopefully make his jaw drop.' Despite the pep talk, she was still hesitant. It would be her first time buying lingerie. Her first time trying to look sexy. 'It's certainly a day for firsts," she smiled to herself.
"Welcome. How are you?" one of the store employees greeted her.
"I'm good. Thanks," she replied awkwardly.
"What can I help you with today? My name is Judy," the employee clarified.
"I'm not exactly sure," Jessie answered. "A Christmas present...kinda," she added with a blush.
"For someone special?" Judy inquired.
"Someone very special," Jessie smiled and finally began to relax.
"What type of item are you looking for?" Judy asked.
"Simple…something simple," Jessie specified. "Anything over the top wouldn't feel right."
"I have an idea. Follow me." Jessie did without thinking. " How about this?" Judy suggested, pointing to a long silky green slip. "It's perfect for Christmas and would look amazing with your hair."
"It's really pretty," Jessie agreed. Biting her lip and seriously considering the purchase. Then she imagined Jonny's reaction. "I'll take it."
Jessie walked out of the store feeling confident. Hoping she could keep that confidence up and needing to do some real shopping because Christmas was only days away.
Her next stop was the bookstore where she could not concentrate long enough to look for any real presents so she just bought enough to warrant a large bag that would hide her other purchase. Then she impatiently waited on a bench in the food court.
She pictured herself in the silky green thing and Jonny's reaction again. She thought about where it would go from there. How they would get from A to B. She started to feel oddly calm about it. More excited than nervous. Convinced that she would only be capable of acting on instinct anyway if he kissed her the way he did that afternoon. She touched her lips and pictured that too. She only ever wanted to be kissed like that.
"Earth to Jess."
"Hey! You did good," she commented. Standing when she saw Hadji with a handful of packages.
"I'll need another trip, but this made a dent," he told her. "How about you?"
"Pretty much the same, but I'm ready to go."
"Me too," he agreed. "Why don't we call Jonny? See if he'd like to meet up for a movie?"
"Sounds good," she nodded. Pulling out her phone to text him as they made their way to the exit. All she really wanted was to fast forward until she got to be alone with him, but a movie could be a good distraction.
She smiled when her phone rang. Loving when he called her in response to a text.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey...hi," he answered, but did not sound like himself.
'He must be nervous,' she thought.
"So you in?" she asked.
"When?" he replied.
"Uh... forty minutes?" she suggested. "Something should be playing at nine."
"See you there," he said. "Hey Jess?"
She grinned. "Yeah."
"Or...you could just ditch my brother and come home," he offered as an alternative.
She cleared her throat. "Interesting."
"You're not alone?" he sighed.
"Not even close," she confirmed. "Hadj and I are walking to the car now."
"And it'd be selfish to ditch him since the three of us haven't hung out in months?" he asked out loud.
"You already know it would be," she shot back.
"BUT...I'm feeling very selfish right now," he admitted.
She laughed. "I think you should get over it."
"I will if you answer me these questions three," he teased.
Her curiosity got the better of her. "Shoot Bridge keeper."
"How long have you wanted to ask me?" he posed first.
"Months."
"What color is your underwear?"
She laughed again. "Blue."
"Would you ditch him if you could?"
"No comment."
"That's as good as a yes," he concluded. "Best kiss ever?" he added.
"That's question number four, cheater."
"Sue me," he flirted.
"See you there," she hung up and shook her head.
"What was that about?" Hadji asked
"Your brother just being his normal pain in the ass self. I think he's watching Mighty Python," she deflected.
When they arrived a little before nine, Jonny was already there waiting. Her breath caught as she laid eyes on him. He was leaning against a wall by the entrance in jeans, a t-shirt and his leather jacket. He looked amazing and the huge grin that crossed his face when he spotted them just made her want him ten times more.
'Has he always been so good looking?' she thought. 'Yes...you just trained yourself to ignore it.'
"What are we seeing?" Jonny asked.
"I vote for Elf," Jessie jumped in. Shaking herself free of those thoughts.
"I second," Jonny agreed quickly.
"What about…" Hadji tried to interject, but Jonny interrupted.
"We already voted and seconded," he said amused.
"You two always do this to me," Hadji complained.
"Then you should be quicker to voice your opinion," Jonny smiled and Jessie laughed.
"Drive me insane," Hadji muttered under his breath as he moved forward to buy a ticket.
"Hey," Jonny greeted Jessie quietly. Pushing her playfully with his shoulder.
"Hey yourself," she nudged him right back. It could have been her imagination, but as she waited patiently in line she could feel an electricity between them. It was palpable. 'Can he feel it too?'
"So what did you get me?" he broke into her thoughts as he also insisted on paying for both tickets.
"You're gonna have to wait and see," she shrugged.
"Hint?" he requested.
"Not a chance," she laughed and then grabbed his arm to pull him towards the entrance. "Let's go, I want good seats."
Jonny was embarrassed how it made him feel when she grabbed his arm. It was an innocent gesture. One she had done countless times before, but this felt different. Everything was heightened. A beautiful distraction. Trying not to read into it, he cleared his throat and hoped to avoid saying something stupid or selfish. He was afraid of ruining things before they got to the end of the night.
'Popcorn…Popcorn would be a good way to keep my hands to myself,' he thought as they caught up to Hadji
"You guys want anything from the snack bar?" Jonny offered. "I'm gonna get something…"
"Hey you!" he was cut off before Hadji or Jessie could answer. Jonny closed his eyes for a long moment and tried to hide his frustration at being disrupted by the beautiful blonde, who had grabbed his arm and was not letting go. "What're you doing here? I thought you had plans tonight?" she asked brightly.
'Presenting you with your bad timing award,' he thought sarcastically.
"Hey Sarah," he greeted without enthusiasm. Gesturing toward the conversation she had interrupted. "I do. I'm hanging out with Jess and Hadji tonight."
"Oh…hey Jess," Sarah acknowledged just as enthusiastically.
"I'll see you at school," Jonny interjected. Effectively shutting the conversation down.
"Yeah…sure. I'll see you around," she sighed. Leaving and heading toward theater nine with a group of friends.
Jonny let out a deep breath and cursed silently when he realized they were all seeing the same movie. He also avoided making eye contact with Jessie. He had nothing to apologize for, but was still afraid to look and see doubt in her eyes.
"Popcorn?" he asked lamely once they were alone.
"No thanks," they both answered.
"Meet us in there," Jessie told him. Trying for the second time that day to hide her jealousy.
It was not fair to be angry. She knew that. She had no right to be angry. She knew he was seeing Sarah before she inserted herself as an option. But she could not help the rush of emotion she felt after what she had shared with him. She was not angry. She was jealous. Because Sarah had experienced a side of Jonny she had not and she hated that. She and Hadji walked around the stadium seating for a few minutes, but could not find more than two in a row.
"Shoot. This sucks," Jessie commented.
"Hey Jess," Sarah's voice called out over the crowd.
"Yeah," Jessie replied reluctantly.
"We have an extra seat up here. Jonny can sit next to me," she smiled.
Jessie nodded and then made her way towards the two closest seats.
"I haven't seen this movie in years," she said. Trying to sound casual. Like she did not care about Sarah or Jonny.
"Me too," Hadji replied. Settling in for the previews.
Jessie had no idea if her friend was clueless or just being a good friend and not embarrassing her. She was grateful either way. When she saw Jonny looking around for them, she was about to call out but Sarah beat her to the punch.
"Hey Quest. Up here," she yelled. "I saved a seat for you. There weren't three together."
Jonny looked around for Jessie and when he caught her eyes, she just shrugged and sighed. Jonny was not sure how to take that. He wanted to rewind and convince her to ditch the movie. He reached for his phone and texted her.
'We can still make a run for it, Ace. Save me?'
Jessie wanted to take him up on it, but the sinking feeling in her stomach stopped her. She needed to get control of it before facing him and sitting in the dark for two hours felt like the best way to accomplish that. So that is what she tried to do.
XXX
All Jonny could focus on during the movie was the back of Jessie's head and keeping Sarah out of his personal space. Gripping his phone and obsessing over why she had ignored his text. Staring at her and obsessing over what she was thinking. He did not like the way he was acting. Something he had kept such a tight lid on was unfurling. She opened the door a crack to him and now he was consumed. This is why she wanted him to consider his decision carefully. Because of the potential fallout. He was already spiraling and had not even seen her naked yet. The risks were clear in the light of day or the glow of the movie screen. But he still wanted her. More than he had ever wanted anything.
About an hour into the movie, Jessie left her seat. Jonny assumed she was headed to the bathroom and reacted like the obsessive freak he felt like. He waited less than thirty seconds before excusing himself to follow her and waited five minutes outside the women's restroom before it crossed his mind that she might not be in there. When another minute passed, he decided to check outside and that was where he found her. Sitting on the hood of his car with her back to him and her arms crossed. It had gotten considerably colder out and she had left her jacket inside. So he removed his as he approached and gently draped it over her shoulders once close enough. Startling her in the process.
"Trying to get sick?" he inquired. Moving in front of her and placing both hands on her knees. "Sorry…didn't mean to scare you."
"Not particularly," she answered quietly. "Just needed some fresh air. Feeling a little weird I guess."
"Because of Sarah?" he asked boldly. Getting right to the point.
She shook her head no, but would not meet his gaze. She was lying and he saw right through it.
"Why would you be upset over her?" he pushed softly. "There's no reason…," he stopped himself. Knowing that was not a fair thing to state. "It was fucking awkward to see her tonight," he said instead. "I can't pretend it wasn't," he sighed. "I felt weird. So of course you did. She's the last person I wanted to see today."
"I'm fine," she huffed.
"Jess," he said patiently when it hit him that she really was upset. "Come on. It's freezing out here. Let's go inside and talk."
"I don't…," she cut herself off. "I don't wanna go back in there," she admitted and then agreed with him. "It was fucking awkward."
"Alright," he nodded. "But let's get in the car at least." Jonny turned on the ignition and then got in the back seat. An invitation.
She did not have the keys to Hadji's car and did want to clear the air with him so she followed.
"Talk to me," he pleaded once she was settled. "Ask me what you need to ask me. Now is not the time to be dishonest with how we're feeling, right?"
"You're right," she smiled. "And I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm acting totally out of line."
"You don't have to apologize for the way you feel," he assured her. "I don't want that. You shared…you let me closer to you today than you've ever let anyone else. And then we run into the last girl I…was close to," he hedged. "Don't apologize for feeling weird about that. If we had run into Bill tonight, I'd…I wouldn't be very happy." He inched closer and reached for her hand. "Don't let her ruin this," he swallowed. "I haven't been out with her in weeks. I've been over it for a while. That wasn't a lie."
"I don't think she knows," Jessie raised an eyebrow. "She knew you had plans tonight," she let that statement hang. Because it had been bothering her. Jonny said they had not been out in weeks, but obviously they were still talking.
"Because she texts me every weekend to hang out and the last few I've just said I had other plans. Maybe I should be more straightforward, but she's not my girlfriend, Jess. She was never even close so it's not like I can break up with her. And yeah…I guess I hope that she'll lose interest so I don't have to tell a relatively nice and fun person that I'm just not that into her. Does that make me awful?" he asked genuinely.
"No," she smiled. "I know your heart is in the right place. It always is. And I'm still sorry. Because I don't have a right to be upset over her specifically. I don't have any claim on you," she finished and his heart skipped.
"Do you want a claim on me?" he asked bravely and then held his breath while waiting for the answer.
"What?" she replied. Surprised and unsure if she had heard him correctly.
Jonny licked his lips and worked up the courage to ask her a second time. "Do you want a claim on me, Jess?" This time he squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes.
Jessie did not answer with words. Instead, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him like she meant it. She leaned closer and then straddled him. She was in complete control and it was perfect. Not too rushed or too slow. They savored every second like they had all the time in the world. He memorized her softness as he kissed her. The way her face, her lips and her hair felt. Then he thought about feeling all of her softness at once. She memorized the jolt that flashed through her when his tongue massaged hers and the mild scruff peppering his jawline. The world and all of her worries faded away.
After a few heated minutes that had them both breathing heavily, he leaned back only slightly and began giving her innocent pecks that drove her crazy. Because all she wanted to do was rip off his clothes and kiss him deeper than anyone ever had. Be closer to him than anyone ever had. "I want you," she whispered between kisses.
"I want you back," he mumbled. Feeling his control slip when she gripped fistfuls of his shirt and rolled her hips into his. "Jessie," he gasped. Letting his head fall back and allowing himself to enjoy it for three Mississippis before holding her back.
She leaned her head forward when he held her hips back. "Tell me what you like," she breathed in his ear. "Tell me what you want."
"Jesus," he groaned. Rolling his hips into hers and then freezing again.
"Tell me what you like," she repeated and then met his intense gaze. "I wanna know how you like it, Jonny."
"You," he swallowed hard. Having to close his eyes at the way she said his name. "I like it because it's you. Because it's you," he reiterated.
She kissed him and then bit his lip in frustration. "Let me move?"
He opened his eyes in response and was trapped under her fervent gaze. He felt like the luckiest man alive and wanted to give in. But he was practiced at not giving in. She made it near impossible though. "Not here," he said with difficulty. "Not in a parked car. Let's go home." He felt her smile.
"Let's go home," she hummed.
He cautiously moved his hands from her hips to her thighs when he felt like they were in agreement. He could not resist a teasing caress. "I love this skirt, Jess. You feel so amazing," he sighed and then admitted. "I can barely breathe when I think about being inside you."
"Jonny," she squirmed.
"And I think about it all the time," he continued, swiping his thumbs across her skin and not caring if that was too honest. "I can't get you outta my head," he pressed his face into her shoulder. "Please tell me we're still on for tonight?"
"Absolutely yes," she responded thickly. Moving off his lap with regret. "Can I take your car home? I wanna get ready and one of us should wait for Hadj."
"Of course," he grinned. "So what does getting ready entail? I need to know…"
"A lot of lotions," she bit her lip and played along. "Maybe a wardrobe change…"
Jonny's head was spinning. He could not wrap his head around this dream come true. "Whose room?" he gave her the choice.
"Yours," she said immediately. Stealing another kiss. "Today by the way."
"Huh?"
"My best kiss ever," she explained to answer his earlier question. "No contest."
His smirk could not be controlled. "Dream me or real me?" he teased.
She kissed him again in response and then straightened herself up. "Midnight?" she suggested.
"I'll be waiting patiently," he promised. Kissing her one last time before handing over his keys and leaving. He found Hadji's car and shot his brother a text instead of going back inside. He did not want to risk another run in with Sarah. He was overheated so the cold felt good and he figured Hadji would find him before it got uncomfortable. So he laid back on the hood of the car and waited with a grin on his face. It was the best day of his life.
XXX
"What happened to you guys?" Hadji asked as he approached. Jonny could not tell if he was annoyed. He was too distracted to focus.
"Sorry," Jonny shot back quickly. "Jess wasn't feeling good. I let her take my car home," he lied. "Can we go before Sarah tracks me down?" he then asked. Jumping off the car and making his way to the passenger side door.
"Sure," Hadji sighed. It was quiet for a while until Hadji broke it. "So…how are things going with you and Jess?"
"What do you mean?" Jonny asked a little defensively.
"Are you gonna tell her how you feel?" Hadji clarified. "Last time we talked, you planned to try over her break."
"I'm not sure," Jonny answered honestly. He wanted to tell her. Especially after the day they had shared. Being together would be even better if it was about love for both of them, but he did not want to add that pressure or risk scaring her off. "I'm just going with the flow, Hadj. We'll see what happens," he smiled to himself..and thought of her.