Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
This chapter was edited by PraetorXyn and Issexwithyourcloneincest
Chapter 11: Girls dinner (16.10.36 AfoK)
I was pleased with myself for what I'd accomplished. No thanks to my teammates seeing as they were even more useless than a bag of fleas, merely standing around giving pointless and unprompted comments on what I did, despite neither of them having any idea how to treat children.
The carrot and stick method still worked wonders. After I put the fear of God into Toumafor smearing his pibble on my shirt, using him as an example was enough that all the kids who saw him dangling by the scruff of his neck received the same message: that I wasn't someone to be messed with. As a result, I received their grudging respect, which was all I needed for the next step of my plan; the carrot.
For that, I created a Shadow Clone and sent her with all the money I had on me and a sealing scroll to get some sweets while I gathered most of the kids around me. Their numbers were nowhere near what I expected them to be, forty at best, all quite a bit younger than my team and I.
Before I could start wondering about it, I realized that all the kids older than six must be either in school or the academy. Well, that served me just fine, and wouldn't put as a big dent into my savings as I'd originally thought. With the promise of sweets in exchange for listening to me, it was fairly easy to get them to sit still long enough to teach them how to play shinobi.
By the time I was finally done answering the questions of those snot-nosed brats, my Shadow Clone returned, carrying a sealing scroll filled to the brim with bribes. After handing back my purse which was now far lighter than a few minutes ago, and the sealing scroll, she dispelled.
Following this, the first thing I did was make good on my promise by giving every single one of them some of my sweets. The way their eyes widened in a comical fashion after they held the sweets in their hands and more than one of them checking more than once with me if it was really okay to eat it drove the point home of what these children were denied even more than what we were told by the matron.
After I assured them over and over again that yes, they could in fact eat those sweets and that I had more of them stored away and that I would gladly hand them out after we had played with each other, they worshipped the ground I walked on and did my every bidding without complaint. They even started to call me their onee-schama. My attempts at trying to correct their pronunciation into the correct onee-sama, however, were unsuccessful.
The moment I fixed one child's form of address which was no easy task with most of them having missing teeth and I turned around to do the same with a second child, onee-schama rung through the air a dozen times over destroying my previous work, and the child who I suspected each had the short-term memory of a fruit fly reverted back to calling me onee-schama.
Ultimately, after I tried it a dozen times and realized that the only progress I was making was my increasing anger, I thought it better to stop, not only for my mental health, but also for the hairs on my head because as a result of the mounting frustration, I got close to ripping them all out more than once.
This decision unfortunately didn't prevent me from inwardly wincing whenever they said it wrong, but I guessed I would be able to live with it in time. It was something endearing... "like being called Hime...", I thought with a grin plastered on my lips.
"Hime, Hime!" increasingly worried calls brought me out of my musings, startled, nearly jumping out of my skin. Naruto-onii-chan was suddenly standing in front of me, waving his hands up and down in front of my eyes. How did he manage to get so close? Wasn't he with the Matron?
In the background, Akiko was snickering into the hem of her white kimono at my plight. Mikoto, her typical stoic self, simply observed.
"Everything alright?" Naruto-onii-chan asked, his worry receding now that I'd reacted to him.
"Yeah, stupid," I said to him without any bite in it, "Just letting my mind drift a little."
"You let your mind drift, a little is that right?" He repeated after me crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Mikoto-san, what was it I told you to do?"
"We are to treat this mission, despite it being a training exercise, as if it were a real mission with our lives on the line," she stated.
I blushed at my screw up, lowered my head, and mumbled, "I'm sorry," and added, glancing up, "I promise it won't happen again."
Keeping up his stare a moment longer, he finally relaxed and uncrossed his arms, "You better, or we'll do nothing but D-rank missions for a very long time."
Although this mission wasn't as bad as I'd presumed it would be, I still couldn't keep myself from shuddering at the thought.
"How did it go?" I wanted to know.
"Good," he simply answered.
"That's all?" I followed up, expecting him to be a bit more forthcoming.
"Well," he droned "If you wanted to know more you could have just stayed. That's why I took you with me in the first place, you know."
"Please," I tried again this time meeting his eyes.
Sighing he said, "I've always been weak to beautiful girls." His comment elicited a smile from me as he went on to indulge me.
"Let's see, given the state of the building and the fact that they are hopelessly overcrowded, new and larger ones, able to comfortably accommodate all the kids with room to spare will be built. Unfortunately, such a venture takes time, which is why, for immediate relief, I greatly increased the funding; it should help with expenses for food and most importantly clothes, books, and toys. In addition to that, I authorized the matron to multiply her current staff, ensuring that for any time of the day, there is one caretaker for every five children."
"Reasonable," I hummed.
"That's not all. We, the Uzumaki clan, agreed to sponsor the kids, be it for the academy or other civil apprenticeships, to help consolidate their futures, whatever they might be."
"That's great," it burst out of me, and I gave Naruto-onii-chan an exuberant hug, only realizing what I did when he wriggled in my embrace. "Sorry," I apologized shyly as I released him.
Thankfully he ignored my inappropriate behavior aside from giving me a short pat on the head and changed the topic. "It's getting close to lunchtime." He took out a purse and threw it at Mikoto, "here, you'll need that."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Money, consider it an incentive."
"For what?" I wanted to know.
"I couldn't help but notice that there are some issues you have with each other. They might get in the way of your teamwork, which revolves around trust and understanding one another. So from now on, you all are eating together on my tab to give you the chance to resolve them away from me looking over your shoulders and to give you the time to get to know each other."
I couldn't help but groan. Really onii-chan, I have to eat with those two bores. Please, somebody, kill me now.
Akiko took the pouch from Mikoto's hands and said, "Thank you, sensei."
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Taking the money, I know this restaurant where they serve the best uni you have ever eaten."
"Who says you get to decide where we eat?" I questioned.
"I do," she said as she retracted the hand holding the pouch closer to her body "it certainly won't be you who knows what you would make us eat." The condescending tone she used with me nearly had me hit her again. Only the groan from onii-chan stayed my hand.
"Seriously?" Sighing, he added, "Since I suspect you won't reach a compromise by yourselves, we'll settle the issue with janken. The one to win decides where you go to eat today, the second place gets to decide tomorrow, and the loser the day after that, and from there, the order is repeated understood?"
"Yes, sensei," we all three said in unison.
"Good, now form a circle and get started. You've also got a report to write, and it's your time you're wasting with your bickering."
We did as he suggested and formed a circle, each one of us ready to go. "Janken pon!" we all said together.
Akiko and I ended up with rock while Mikoto had scissors. Glaring at Akiko, determined to win, we both repeated, "Janken pon!" This time I settled on scissors and Akiko on paper. I knew she would underestimate me and assume I would use the same move twice. She obviously didn't know about the great Uzumaki Kushina-sama's janken skills, sucker.
Her shocked expression was priceless, and I reveled in it with a mouth-splitting grin.
"Hand it over," I demanded as I swiped the pouch from her. "Ichiraku Ramen, here we come!"
"We meet up again in two hours at the village gate. That should give you more than enough time to eat, write your reports, and bond," he said and was about to walk away when I asked.
"Where are you going to eat?"
"Do you really have to ask?"
"Tsunade," I answered the question myself.
"Do I have to go with them?" I pleaded with Naruto-onii-chan, "I'd much rather go with you."
Chuckling at my words, he said, "Well, then I'll have to tell Tsunade that you prefer her company over your team's. She, no doubt, will be delighted to hear it."
"No," I begged, "don't, please."
"Okay, okay, if you are this insistent, I won't tell her, but you should know she is quite intelligent; your tsundere act will only work for so long on her until she sees through you if she hasn't already."
"Yeah, I know."
He gave me the strangest of looks as if he was expecting something of me. When whatever it was he waited for didn't appear, he shrugged with a grimace and wished, "Have fun" mid-turn and walked towards the hospital.
Returning my attention to my teammates, I proclaimed, "So, you philistines, prepare yourselves to be introduced to the food of the gods by your dear Kushina-sama."
The only reaction I received was a scoff from Akiko. Ignoring her, I walked towards the gates, but was stopped a good distance away by a horde of kids surrounding me.
"Where are you going, Kushina-shama?"
"Can I get some more sweets?"
"Can you take us with you?"
Those were just a few questions I could make out with them all talking across each other while they were pleading their case, tugging at my clothes to get me to listen to them. Their eyes were full of rekindled hope, pulling at my heartstrings. I took a knee in front of them "Hey! Slow down. I will be back with more sweets, and then we will play some more, okay?"
"You pwomise?" Rumi, the smallest of them, asked.
"I promise," I said and then hugged the little one. After a long moment with Rumi sniffling and getting closer and closer to tears, I released her from my embrace and stood up. As I cut my way through them, I ruffled her hair.
The instant I passed them, I increased my speed. I could do without Akiko seeing my watering eyes. One thing was clear, I had every intention to keep my promise. What I couldn't be sure of was Naruto-onii-chan's willingness to indulge me. After all, it could be interpreted as me talking out of turn in the name of the team. He warned us about that.
No, it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't allow it. Every promise had to be kept. In the worst case, I would just go to the orphanage before or after our training. The Uzumaki clan was now responsible for them, and I would do my part.
In the meantime, my body had moved on its own. My musing was only interrupted when I smelled the delicious Ichiraku ramen in the making. Increasing my pace once more to a light jog, I bridged the last few meters to my favorite stool and seated myself on it.
Natsuko-onee-san was behind the counter and greeted me with a smile "Kushina-chan, what a surprise to see you? Wasn't today your first mission?"
"It was. I came directly here after completing it," I told her.
"A success then."
"Of course, who do you take me for, Natsuko-onee-san?"
Chuckling, she said, "the future first female Hokage." Leaning closer, she wondered, "So where did you leave your very good-looking onii-chan? Did you run ahead again? Or did he send you to get the order for you two and Tsunade-san's meal?"
"None of that," I appeased. "He went to eat with Tsunade alone and made me eat with my new teammates."
"Ahh," she conspiratorially tugged at my arm, "you had better make sure that is all that is going on between them."
She retreated back as I asked appalled, not having even considered the possibility "You don't think..." when I saw her tittering into her hand.
"So easy," she teased and ruffled my hair.
"Moah, Natsuko-onee-san," I crossed my arms in front of my chest "So mean! I'm not coming here again."
In response, she was full-out laughing. "As if," she pressed out during her laughs, "you wouldn't survive a week without the special ramen only your Natsuko-onee-san knows how to make."
Damn, she had me. My will was already faltering as my mouth watered just thinking about her special ramen. "Okay, I take it back, but in exchange, you've got to add extra toppings."
"Deal," she said with a smug grin. "Speaking of your teammates, I guess those are them?" She indicated with her head towards Mikoto and Akiko, who walked at a leisurely pace up to the stools.
"Yeah, the one wearing white is Akiko-baka, and the one in black is Mikoto-baka."
"That's no way to behave, Kushina," she chastised. "Do I need to have a talk with your onii-chan about your lacking manners?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, please don't," I pleaded under her stare.
"Then watch your manners, young lady," she warned. "We don't tolerate hoodlums as customers."
"Got it Natsuko-onee-san."
"Got what?" Akiko questioned, having overheard the tail end of my part in the last exchange.
"I just explained the changes to our menu to Kushina-chan. You must be her teammates, Mikoto-san and Akiko-san. It is a pleasure to meet you," Natsuko-onee-san covered for me. "My name is Natsuko, your ramen chef. What can I get you?"
"Shrimp ramen," Akiko ordered.
Mikoto took longer to make a decision studying the menu rather attentively until she said, "one serving of vegetable ramen Natsuko-san."
"Coming right up."
"What about me? You didn't ask what I want," I complained.
Natsuko-onee-san stopped what she was doing behind the counter and sent me a look that sent shivers down my spine, "And what is it you want? Let me guess: a miso, followed by pork, shrimp vegetable, and beef in that exact order. The exact same thing you have ordered every single time you have come here without restrictions put on you."
"Perhaps I'd liked to eat something else for a change," I meekly offered.
"Do you?" Natsuko-onee-san asked.
"No," I admitted.
"Then what are we talking about, Kushina-chan?"
"Nothing, sorry."
"That's my girl. Now sit tight and wait for your delicious ramen."
It didn't take the experienced hands of Natsuko-onee-san long to get each of us our first cup of steaming hot ramen. I reached for some chopsticks and broke them apart.
"Itadakimasu," we echoed each other before I dug in. I was halfway done with my bowl when Natsuko-onee-san off-handley commented.
"Your team is full of beauties, Kushina-chan, one more beautiful than the other. Excuse my asking, but you must be a Hyūga," she guessed, addressing Akiko, "and you, given your raven black hair, I'd wager that you are an Uchiha."
"Your assumptions are correct," Mikoto stated. "I'm Uchiha Mikoto and this is Hyūga Akiko."
"Oh, you are even well-mannered. I know someone whom it wouldn't hurt to take you as an example," Natsuko-onee-san said, and I nearly choked on my ramen. Learning from that stick in the mud Mikoto who doesn't even know how to spell the word fun, that was so not happening. The glare I sent Natsuko-onee-san puffed out as she ignored me.
"You two must attract a lot of attention from the boys. I'd wager you even have to constantly beat them off with a stick," she mused, and wearing a conspiratorial grin asked, "or do you already have a sweetheart? You can tell your onee-san; with my help, I can get the boy in question to eat out of the palm your hand in no time."
"The decision of whom will become my husband solely rests with my father," Mikoto said and then turned her attention back to her bowl of ramen like there was nothing more to say to that topic.
"Right, nobility and their petty rules. Only marrying to further the family goals, never for love but that doesn't mean that there's no one who holds your fancy, does it?" Natsuko-onee-san urged her on.
Mikoto, uncaring, didn't allow herself to be rushed by Natsuko-onee-san's curiosity and took her time to chew and swallow the ramen in her mouth. "No, there is no male I have a romantic interest in. The number of males that annoy me constantly, however, is quite numerous. If you might provide me some insight into how I could get rid of them permanently without suffering any repercussions, I would appreciate it. All the options I came up with did not provide adequate solutions of what to do with the body," she dryly responded.
Natsuko-onee-san was looking at her as if she was seeing her for the first time, then slowly tilted her head, glancing my way, and whispered, "she is kidding, right?"
I just shrugged as I took great delight in slurping the broth of my first bowl. Turning back to Mikoto, Natsuko-onee-san asked her incredulously "You are kidding, right?"
Mikoto let her eyes wander, I guess trying to read the mood of the stool, and then answered a bit uneasily, monitoring our reactions, "Yes, I am just kidding," while she tried to mimic a grin that came out as a disturbing grimace.
Natsuko-onee-san's nervous laugh wasn't much better. Slamming my now empty bowl on the counter got her attention as I asked with a saccharine smile plastered on my face, "seconds, Natsuko-onee-san?"
It took a moment for her derailed facial features to morph into something else as she overcame her confusion and realized what I just said. "S-sure, Kushina-chan," and went ahead to prepare my second bowl, warily eying Mikoto all the while.
"Here you go, Kushina-chan," she proclaimed as she set down the bowl of pork ramen in front of me. Since my mouth was already watering, I lost no time and dug in.
"I wouldn't mind some advice," Akiko suddenly said out of nowhere. It was all it took for Natsuko-onee-san's nervous fiddling with ingredients to stop.
Surprised, Natsuko-onee-san wondered, "Wait, are you telling me you can choose your future husband by yourself? I always thought you Hyūga were more antiquated than all the other clans," she blurted out, only to add, "Sorry, that came out wrong. There was no offense intended."
"None taken," Akiko placated. "You are not wrong — we strongly adhere to tradition and the customs of our forefathers — not much has changed in that regard for hundreds of years."
"Then isn't it up to your father to decide who you shall marry?"
"It is."
"I don't understand why the interest?"
"Curiosity — for the most part," Akiko admitted. "You see, children of my clan are usually betrothed early on in their lives — in most cases shortly after they are born, as was the case for my two older sisters. I, on the other hand, have yet to be promised to anyone."
"So you are hoping that since you sisters are already furthering the clan, you will have some leeway, possibly even being allowed to have a say yourself," Natsuko-onee-san presumed.
"Yeah, pretty much," she shrugged, "I mean, the betrothal of my oldest sister couldn't get any better."
"Don't worry, who am I to deny a young maiden the great wisdom I have to offer?" Natsuko-onee-san said in a grandstanding manner. "So tell me, who is the boy, or is it a man you want to sway to you?"
"M-man, there's no such thing," she tried to deny as she was averting her gaze from Natsuko-onee-san.
"Oh, really?" Natsuko-onee-san prodded and rested her head on her elbows bent over the counter. She no doubt was smelling blood in the water, like a bloodhound when it came to juicy rumors and stories. I had been on the receiving end of her interrogations enough times to know there was no escaping her once she picked up a trail. "So dish who is this mysterious man who has your fancy?"
"It's not like that," she mollified. "It's, I don't know," she dropped her gaze and stirred her ramen with her chopsticks "there is this guy, and he is so different from what I'm used to. The way he treats his family, I want that too."
"Is he good-looking?" Natsuko-onee-san demanded to know.
"Y-yeah, I think so — his warm smile, and that spiky blond hair of his..."
Man, spiky blond hair...
The chopsticks in my hand snapped in my grip with a resounding noise. All the eyes of the people present fell on me. There was an awkward lull as I suddenly found myself the center of attention until I remembered why that was. Shock gave way to anger, and I brought down both of my fists hard on the counter, so hard that it made my bowl jump in front of me and threatened, "You hussies better stay far away from my onii-chan, or I'm so gonna break you. He's far too good for a tramp like you."
"He deserves someone better," Akiko interjected, "someone like you. Isn't that what you wanted to say?"
"No! Yes!" I stammered, momentarily confused. "It doesn't matter! You," I pointed my finger at her, "stay away from him."
"Or you'll break me. I got that the first time, I'm not mentally impaired like you Dead Last, there is no need to repeat things for my sake. On the other hand, I'd really love to see you try breaking me," she goaded, "because as far as I'm concerned, you have it backward: it would be me that would break you."
"Yeah," I said, jumping down from my stool and swiping away some broth from the corner of my mouth, "but don't go crying to daddy when I've beaten you into a bloody pulp."
Akiko too slid down from her stool straightening her white kimono in the process and then took her stance, feet spread apart slightly crouched, one of her palms outstretched facing me while her other hand was kept close to her hip ready to strike.
"Girls... GIRLS!" Natsuko-onee-san shouted, "this has gone far enough! Stop it this instant!"
"Don't worry, onee-san, this won't take long," I reassured her.
"Of course it won't," a smirking Akiko said, "this will be over in the blink of an eye."
At her words, I balled my fists so tightly that they started to hurt and slowly shuffled my feet into a better position. I was so gonna hurt her.
"Shinobi regulation 7-4 states that unsanctioned matches between shinobi are punishable with up to six months in prison. Shinobi regulation 8-9 states that genin are only allowed to spar under the supervision of at least a chūnin. Shinobi regulation 2-1 states that any attempt made at seriously injuring a Konoha shinobi and thereby removing him or her from the Konoha forces for an indefinite amount of time is punishable by..."
"Dammit," I screamed at Mikoto for citing all those regulations, I huffed "I get it, I'm not allowed to smash her stupid face in."
Opening my fists, I turned to my seat and barely made a step when I heard Akiko say, "It seems like you're in luck today."
Stopping mid-motion, I spun around and blatantly glared at Akiko, who just kept smiling at me. I would make her regret it.
Natsuko-onee-san was looking at me with some hesitance and guilt as I seated myself. She handed me a napkin to mop up the broth my outburst spilled , wasting my precious food was another reason to be mad at that bitch and then squeezed my shoulder and mouthed a 'sorry'.
She had no reason to be sorry, quite the opposite. Thanks to her, I now knew what Akiko's intentions were with my Naruto-onii-chan, and I could watch her reaching for something that wasn't hers. Naturally, because I would never allow somebody like her to get close to him.
Behind Natsuko-onee-san's shoulder, I saw a smirking Akiko, muttering, "He is gonna be mine," below her breath, just loud enough for all of us to hear. If not for Natsuko-onee-san's hand squeezing down hard on my shoulder at that very moment, I wouldn't have cared less about any consequences for hitting her — not after that taunt, but it would have required breaking away from Natsuko-onee-san and possibly hurting her while doing so, something I wasn't willing to do.
As a result, I allowed myself to be soothed as I was stared at by that milky-eyed bitch. I responded in kind by glaring at her.
It took Natsuko-onee-san handing me another pair of chopsticks and telling me, "Your ramen is getting cold," to finally get me to avert my hate-filled gaze and resume eating.
For some reason, the ramen didn't taste as good as it did at first. Stale and flat, the opposite of what I'd come to know. I always thought that the idiom of having a bad taste in one's mouth was meant metaphorically; sitting here in Akiko's presence it became clear that it was meant quite literally.
Despite that, I kept eating; it wasn't Natsuko-onee-san's fault that I was forced to eat her ramen in bad company. She and her ramen deserved nothing short of my complete devotion, and I ate it to the last drop.
In any case, I just hoped I could write my report while not having her anywhere near me.
Authors Note:
In case it wasn't clear from the context, Natsuko is the wife of Teuchi and the future mother of Ayame, who has yet to be born. She and Teuchi (for the most part) alternate working at the store —Natsuko is mostly there in the mornings opening the store, while Teuchi works there from the afternoon onwards into the night.