Paraguay bed scene Take 2

None of these characters are mine yada yada.

This is to fix/change that dumb Paraguay missed opportunity.

"Tell me this flyboy, why did you fly all the way down here to rescue me?"

"I think you know why."

Mac huffs in frustration and hurt.

"No, Harm. I don't know why."

He knits his eyebrows together in disbelief.

"I have a few ideas but I honestly can't figure it out."

"Well...what are your ideas?"

Mac is a bit incredulous that he can't just tell her plainly. She gives him a frustrated look before turning on her back to stare at the ceiling.

"Well my first instinct is that I'm your next...project."

"What?"

"You think it's your duty to find out the truth about what happened and since I'm a friend and a colleague you feel honor bound to come after me. You'd probably do the same for...Bud or Harriet or the Admiral if they were in trouble. Or it's...you're finally paying me back for Russia. I followed you there and saved your butt and you're giving me back what you feel you owe me."

He's quiet and she turns her head to look at him. The pain in his eyes is crystal clear.

"Is any of that—"

"No, no it's all," he swings out of the bed to get away from her, his voice gruff with heavy emotion, "wrong. That's not it at all, Mac."

She sits up, hugs her knees to her chest and places her chin on her knees. Holding herself steady and protected as she decides to put it out on the line.

Harm is pacing over to the alcohol. She watches him pour himself a drink, take a long gulp and place it back down on the table.

She clears her throat before beginning again.

"My other thought is that you love me. But...that option seems...ridiculous and completely impossible."

She sees him white knuckle grip the table.

"Not only have you not been happy to see me since you got here, not mentioned anything about it, been affectionate at all...but you...you've kept me out of your life for the past 6 months. If this had been, I don't know, 3 years ago, you would have confided in me about Singer and Sergei."

He sighs heavily and bows his head.

"We said we would restart at the JAGathon race but you've been distant and professional ever since. And...I just started to feel like...especially since you kept me out of the Singer stuff that you...don't trust me anymore. And if you don't trust me that means...I don't know. To me it means we aren't as close as I thought we were."

She swallows a cry down but can't stop the tear from rolling down her cheek. She wipes it away angrily. "So that's...where I'm at, Harm. I just have no idea why you are here and if you won't tell me...I guess I won't ever know."

He's still silent, turned away. His shoulders are bowed and his head is down. The silence is killing Mac.

"Well if you don't...can't...I mean do you want to tell me why or..."

She sighs again heavily and moves the sheet around; goes to lay down.

"Look I'm tired...I'm gonna try and go to sleep. Thank you...by the way. For coming. I'm...very glad not to be dead right now."

And she turns away from him, lays down and curls up on the bed. Squeezing her eyes shut, tears take over her eyes one more time before she wipes them away and buried her head in the pillow.

She doesn't see him turn around. Doesn't see the tears glistening in his own eyes, there as he thinks about the utter failure he has been when it comes to the person he loves most in the world. He starts to speak but realizes his throat is too tight so he clears it and tries again.

"I couldn't breathe when you left. When you closed the door to my apartment. I couldn't breathe for weeks. Every phone call or call into the Admirals office I thought I would be hearing you had died or I hoped you were coming back. Everything in my life just stopped. Nothing was worth it anymore. Not work, not flying, not anything— because you weren't there. I was barely functioning because I was so worried about you. Worried I would never see you again and that you were right. That I didn't take the chance to show you how much you meant to me while you were available...and that I never would get the chance."

Mac's eyes freeze open and her heart is racing but she doesn't dare move in case it causes him to retreat back into himself. She's barely able to believe she's hearing these words coming out of his mouth.

She hears his footsteps as he walks towards the bed. And then she feels his weight pushing down on the side of the mattress. He's so close now.

And that's when he brushes a strand of her hair away from her face. And he brushes a hand along her cheek. He stops when he feels her tears.

"I love you Sarah. And I'm really sorry I've never told you that before." She feels his weight coming down closer to her, feels his hot breathe and that's when she moves her face to look at him.

She catches his eyes, sees the pain in them. They hold each other's gazes for what seems like eternity.

"Oh Harm...I love you too."

And she brings her arms up to place them on either side of his face. He closes his eyes and sighs at her touch. And simultaneously, their lips come together for a kiss. It's slow and sweet. Filled with vulnerability and fear...and most of all hope. Warmth spreads out from their aching hearts at the intimate contact and Harm leans down onto Mac and deepens the kiss.

She rolls over so she's facing him and pulls him closer into her embrace.

Harm lays down on the bed next to Mac. She curls into him and they revel in touching each other in a way they've never dared to—been forbidden to before.

But suddenly Harm stops her hand and looks deeply into her eyes.

"What is it?"

"I...I'm sorry to ask but...I need to know..."

She knits her eyebrows together in concern.

"Tell me."

"Why did you kiss Clay?"

Her eyes widen. "Why did I—is that why you've been—because of that?"

She can see him swallow nervously and when he gives the smallest of nods she realizes how scared he looks and knows to tread softly.

"Harm, I...I thought Clay might die. I thought...it would be a nice way to go and...I guess it was just the easiest way for me to show him how much I appreciated what he did for me."

"What he did for you?"

"Yeah he...he took the torture. They wanted to do me but he convinced them to do him and I..."

She trails off then, lost in a flashback. She feels panic rising but she's trapped in the memory as it all comes to life around her. The smells, the sounds, the feeling of dread and panic wash over her.

Harm sees how she's left her body, knows she's reliving it and back away from the embrace to give her space.

He takes her shaking hand in his and squeezes gently.

"I'm here Mac. You're with me in a hotel. You aren't there."

Her shaking intensifies and she cries out grasping hard onto his hand.

Instinctually, Harm curls around her and holds her close.

He murmurs to her that she is safe, that she is okay right now, that Clay is safe too.

Slowly, Mac comes out of her flashback as the memories refuse to match reality.

She turns around on the bed and falls into a heap in his arms. Holding onto him for dear life.

He continues to hold her, a feeling of resolve coming over him. To hold her. Protect her. And to never ever let her go ever again.

"I'm here Mac. I'm never leaving—okay? You're stuck with me now."

She moves her head back to look him in the eyes.

"Is that a promise?"

Her perfect brown eyes, warm but reserved—hopeful—melt his heart even further. He feels the last vestiges of those stupid walls falling as he realizes the power he holds to make Mac feel safe and loved.

"Yes Sarah. It's a promise."