Please note:
This is a Langa-centric fic. It's a rewriting of episode 10 about what really should have happened.
My opinion that Langa is not romantic is canon and was confirmed by anime director Hiroko Utsumi. Still, it's pretty unpopular in this fandom.
I'm introverted like Langa, so my head canon is that Langa is more innocent and clueless about Reki's feeling and his own, too.
When I was Langa's age, I never noticed when people were flirting with me, so I thought he'd react in a similar way.
I still hope you enjoy my story!
This feeling… It really was what I thought. I hear it. My body is ecstatic. It was like that back then, too. So that's it. I loved snowboarding together with Dad. That's why when Dad was no longer here, I lost sight of how fun it was.And it's the same with skating. Who is skate together with is, for me, the most…
"Huh? Hey, Langa, watch out!"
Langa had been so deep in thought he hadn't realized where he was skating. When Reki's voice pulled him back to reality it was too late. Before he knew it, they crashed into each other and he landed on top of Reki. When the pain disappeared and he opened his eyes again, he realized with a start that his lips were on top of Reki's. He wanted to pull back but then he saw Reki's face. He had gently grabbed his upper arm and smiled softly at him.
He looked into his eyes for a moment, silently asking him for permission and giving him the chance to pull back. Langa was surprised. He didn't know what to expect but definitely not that Reki wanted to kiss him. He saw the truth revealed in his eyes. So, he slowly nodded at him and returned the smile.
After seeing his smile, Reki pulled him a bit closer and gently grabbed his face. Langa noticed how Reki was blushing and looked at him, a mixture of uncertainty and affection dancing in his eyes, making them turn golden, like a blazing fire in the darkness around them. He felt so nervous because he had never kissed anyone before. He didn't even know what he was supposed to do. He hoped at least Reki did. Right before he kissed him, he smiled softly at him and Langa instantly relaxed. He trusted Reki and that was all that mattered, right? The last thing he saw was that Reki's lips trembled slightly before their lips met. His lips felt so soft and warm when he finally touched them, kissed them.
He had never understood why people thought a first kiss was so special and why that was so damn important to most people. And in Canada he had only heard stories from his classmates about lousy kissing and that their first kiss had been horrible and they hadn't felt anything at all. So, why bother? He hadn't been interested in romance anyway.
So, he had never kissed anyone before and had never even thought about doing it. Until Reki had come along and had turned his life upside down.
But all of that changed within a matter of seconds. This was the first kiss he wanted to give. And he had always secretly hoped that he would share his first kiss with Reki. He had been wanting to do that for a very long time. Yet, he had always assumed Reki wouldn't feel the same way. When he had watched him on that ship to Miyakojima, he had assumed that Reki would be interested in girls, so he had given up on that thought for a while.
But now that he saw that Reki returned his feelings, he felt so happy. He wanted to show Reki how much he loved him. He was really bad with words when it came to emotions and romance wasn't for him. But maybe he could just show Reki with this kiss how much he meant to him now?
After a moment, Reki moved closer and kissed him gently before deepening the kiss. Langa was surprised at first but instantly touched his cheek, returning the kiss. He gently cupped his face, copying his movements and gestures while he let Reki take the lead.
When Reki was kissing him, it felt like the most wonderful feeling ever. It was soft, at first, before Reki deepened the kiss, turning it into a more passionate one. He could feel Reki's heartbeat quickening and how his breathing was changing. That's when he finally understood what his deafeningly loud and fastened heartbeat meant that only occurred when he was with Reki. He had always noticed it but had never understood that his accelerated heartbeat and the warm feeling meant that he loved him… And now that he heard Reki's heartbeat going as fast, it finally dawned on him. Not only that Horne sound of his heart meant he was in love with him but that Reki returned his feelings.
Reki's lips tasted sweet on his, and his movements were gentle and slow. Reki's arm around him felt safe and warm; he was feeling protected and loved.
Langa was surprised that one single kiss could arouse so many different emotions in him. Affection, love, passion and pure happiness. He felt all those emotions rushing through his body while electric sparks were running through him. Then, a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through him that he had never felt before. It was pure bliss, and Langa wished that feeling would last forever. When Reki kissed him, he felt alive, loved and luckier than ever before. A new world had opened up to him that changed everything within seconds. A new chapter, a new beginning, a new dawn.
The sensation of that kiss overwhelmed him, taking him completely by surprise. Whatever he had imagined a kiss to feel like, this had clearly surpassed his imagaination. Every emotion, every touch, every scent was overpowering him. He knew he was clumsy, and his movements were a bit awkward, but Reki didn't seem to mind. He would probably tell him that he found it cute, and he loved his innocence or something like that. He truly enjoyed kissing Reki and wanted the kiss to last longer. He wished this moment would last forever...
Langa could feel the warmth spreading through his body and felt his heart nearly bursting with happiness. Reki made him feel special, loved and truly happy. As if he was the center of his world. The only person that mattered to him. Reki could date anyone with his looks and his cheerful and outgoing personality, but he only had eyes for him. Which made him feel like the luckiest person on this planet right now.
He felt happy and relaxed and wanted to show Reki how much he enjoyed this moment with him. It was his way of saying I love you.
When Reki slowly softened the kiss again and pulled away from him, there was a new kind of happiness sparkling in his golden eyes that Langa wanted to see more often.
Even so, after a moment, Langa's eyes dimmed a bit as he looked at him.
His face was completely flushed and he was panting, unable to say anything for a moment. It was adorable. But then he saw something that worried him
Tears. They pricked at his eyes and streamed down his face. Why? And why was he still smiling through his tears?
Have I done something wrong? Hurt him?
Langa, why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong? You don't regret it, do you?"
Langa just shook his head, then smiled and wiped his tears away.
"My kissing was that bad it made you cry, huh?"
"What? No! It was amazing! I'm just crying because I'm so happy, you idiot!"
Relief flashed through Langa. "It felt incredible to me, too." He moved and lay next to him under the dark and clear sky filled with stars. They lay there for a while in comfortable silence. Finally, Reki looked at him and slowly intertwined their fingers.
"You know if you wanted to kiss me, you could have just asked instead of causing an accident." Reki blushed bright red but didn't let go of his hand.
"Wait, I didn't do that on purpose! I was lost in thought and didn't pay attention to where I was going!"
"Airhead. What were you thinking about?"
"My dad. And you. I realized that I enjoyed snowboarding only because I was together with my dad. It's the same with you and skateboarding. I enjoy skating not because I like skating but only because you're by my side. It's only fun together with you. Skating without you is meaningless. Lately, I lost sight of why I was skating. No matter who I skated or where I skated, I didn't feel it. Nothing at all. But it's different now. I feel it because I'm here with you, Reki. It feels fun."
"I was thinking the same thing. I'm sorry I avoided you. When I saw how good you were, I felt as if I would skate in your shadow, that you didn't need me anymore and had left me behind. I felt so useless and insignificant in comparison to your incredible talent. I had forgotten the most basic thing about skating. The very first thing I've taught you: that skating is fun. I wanna skate with you a lot more! Tomorrow, the day after that and long after that!"
"Me, too! I wanna skate infinitely together with you!"
"Infinitely? Is that a love confession?" He said it in a joking tone, yet his eyes betrayed him, displaying a hint of uncertainty.
"Yes! No! I don't know! It is if you want it to be…"
Reki blushed again and glared at him, his eyes flashing as if on fire.
"Of course, I want that!"
"Huh? You mean you wanted to kiss me? I mean, even before our accident?"
"Yes, kind of." Reki scratched his cheek, something he always did when he was nervous or embarrassed. "If I knew all I had to do was crash into you, I would have done that sooner." Reki lifted himself up to a sitting position and grinned at him, giving him that bright smile he so loved.
Langa slowly sat up and stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing so hard, tears ran down his face, his laugh echoing across the empty skating park.
"Have you lost your mind now? Hit your head?" Reki asked while he stared at him in surprise, eyes widening. He'd probably never seen him like that before.
A weight had been lifted off his shoulders and his heart, too. He had finally understood why his heart nearly burst out of his chest when Reki was around. And why this sensation never happened when he and Reki were apart.
So, that was how love felt like. And Langa saw in Reki's soft eyes what it looked like, too.
He was relieved and happy. Looking back on his life in Canada and his first months here, Reki was his first real friend. Since he always kept to himself and was blunt or more like brutally honest, finding friends had never been easy for him. He had never understood hints or irony and was even worse with social cues, so most people thought he was weird. That's why snowboarding with his dad had been so important to him.
With his dad, he hadn't been forced to pretend, had just been himself without being judged or frowned upon. And snowboarding had been really fun with his dad because it had felt like pure freedom in the never ending nature and snowy landscape of the mountains.
With Reki, it hadn't felt the same but similar. Reki hadn't judged him or tried to change him, either but had accepted him just as he was from the start. He just knew that he liked spending time with Reki and wanted to skate with him. Skateboarding itself wasn't that important. For him, skating together with him was the fun part. Reki was always so bright and cheerful that it was contagious. And they shared their endless passion for skateboarding. It was what had brought them together. Skating was their language, their way of communication, so words weren't necessary between them.
But did that mean he loved Reki?
At the beginning, he was just happy someone talked to him. He had arrived here when the school term had already started and for someone like him, connecting with other people had never been easy.
Most people, especially his teachers had always told him to be more outgoing, more talkative and to interact more with others. That he should stop daydreaming and spend time with other people the same age. It sounded so easy but for him it felt as if asking the impossible of him. He had always been the quiet and thoughtful type, and that wouldn't change.
For him, it was much easier if people talked to him first because the thought of talking to people on his own would never occur to him. And it would cause him so much pressure and stress even thinking about starting a conversation with someone. What would he even say? And when? Before school, during a break or after classes finished? And how? Should he just walk up to them? And then what? How did you start a conversation if you sucked at small talk?
Winning the Olympics in skateboarding would probably be much easier and more relaxing than engaging in a conversation with someone. Most people just exhausted him with their pointless small talk and banter. And the only topic he was good at was snowboarding which was pointless because it didn't snow here in Okinawa.
His expressionless face, however, had always prevented his classmates from talking to him. Most of his classmates, at least in Canada, had always assumed he was cold and emotionless since he never defended himself when he was mocked and always stayed calm in every situation. He never got mad, frustrated, sad, he never smiled, cried or froze up in fear.
Snow.
His skating name said it all. It fit perfectly. The fearless and cool skater from the land of snow and ice.
In reality it wasn't like that. He did have emotions and did care about his family and friends. However, his emotions weren't easily visible from the outside. He had a stoic face, devoid of emotions, a real poker face. Yet, even if they weren't visible, they existed deep within him, swirling around on the inside. Even if his soul was screaming, even if he was nervous or scared, people would never notice unless they knew him really well. Like his parents. Or Reki.
Unlike most people, Reki somehow always knew what he was thinking, even if he tried to hide it from him. To him, his face was an open book and he carefully read it and always knew what was going on inside of him, reading his thoughts without any effort. He also noticed every change in his body language, every tiny gesture or change in posture. It was scary sometimes but he also loved that Reki knew him so well he could do that.
Expressing something with words wasn't his strong suit, especially when it came to emotions. Still, often that wasn't necessary because Reki just knew and gave him a small nod, smiling knowingly at him.
Reki was the only one who had never tried to change him. Although he had also suggested to him to talk more at the beginning, explaining to him that he never knew what he was thinking. Yet, he always needed a long time to warm up to people. And Reki had learned to read his moods and notice little details about him because he just liked him and had paid close attention, not just to what he said but also to what he didn't say and to how he said it, noticing many little aspects of him that most people overlooked.
He had grown closer to Reki pretty fast. But liking Reki was pretty easy. He was always cheerful, in a great mood and lively. And really passionate about skating. He even created his own skateboards and had created the perfect board for him, modifying it to his special needs and adjusting it to his unique skating style, inspired by his experiences in snowboarding. He was just amazing and really skilled. He noticed at once when his board had to be adjusted just from watching him skate. He was just incredible, as a friend, a skater and as a skateboard maker and designer.
Unfortunately, Reki didn't believe in himself and his confidence was quickly shattered when he watched other skaters. He often felt intimidated by their talent and felt inadequate and hated himself. Then, he shut other people about and avoided them. Even him.
Reki had acted the same way when he had gotten better at skateboarding. At first, Langa had accepted that and thought he'd need a little time to himself. But after winning against Joe he still hadn't heard anything from Reki, so he got worried and finally mustered up enough courage to go to his house. Reki's mom was really nice but didn't know about their fight in the rain. He wanted to apologize to Reki but how was he supposed to do that if Reki successfully avoided him?
So, he had the idea to borrow Reki's skateboard and leave a message with his sister. If he had Reki's skateboard, Reki would have to speak to him eventually. And Reki knew where to find him. And it had worked out, hadn't it? Reki had come to the skating park, after all.
When skateboarding with Reki, his heartbeat grew louder and it beat much faster. He noticed over time that without Reki around he didn't feel that sensation anymore. Even worse, skateboarding without Reki was meaningless to him.
He had noticed it in his beef against Joe. His heart wasn't in it. He even wondered why he even took part in that beef. He didn't feel anything, no emotion at all. It was as if the world had stopped turning or time was standing still.
He had felt the same after his dad had died. The darkness inside him had swallowed up everything else and only left behind an empty shell of him. Without a heart or a soul. Without Reki, the same darkness returned, threatening to overwhelm him again. The fun and excitement he had felt while skateboarding with Reki had turned into cinders without him around.
His heart wasn't racing, either at this beef, so he had already given up on winning. Until he heard Reki scream his name and saw him standing at the sidelines. His mere presence made him remember in the fraction of a second why he skated. And the moment he saw him, his heartbeat rose again and he could hear it more clearly as if just seeing Reki's presence changed everything. His love for skating, his heart, his life. The whole universe changed and lit up when Reki was present, his red hair and amber eyes shining brightly in the dark stage of S. Like a shooting star, it brightened the sky and shoved the negative clouds away that hung over him, revealing a clear sky full of stars.
Only in the darkness can you see the stars.
Reki was such a star for him, his presence shining through all the spectators here and lighting up the path before him. Towards happiness. And victory.
Now that he watched Reki and his ridiculously happy face, he relaxed.
"I didn't know what I was feeling was love. I - I never really had friends. You were my first real friend…"
"Langa…" Reki left his name hanging in the air but he had heard the compassion and worry in his voice.
"So, I just thought that when my heart beat faster or my body was ecstatic that was because we were friends. I'm sorry I'm so clueless… But I'm not sorry, either… about you know… I just thought you weren't interested in me… I thought you liked girls because on our trip to. Miyakojima you liked that girl…"
"Yes, that's when I realized you had romantic feelings for me. Because your face said it all. You were jealous." He grinned mischievously at him.
"I wasn't!" Langa exclaimed, feeling how his cheeks heated up. When Reki's amber eyes bored into him, raising his eyebrows, he looked away.
"You totally were. But I also thought I liked girls. Until I met you. You were really the first guy I was interested in." Reki looked away from him but Langa still saw the blush spreading across his face.
"But I also knew you hadn't figured out your feelings yet, so I didn't mention it. I wanted you to figure it out at your own pace, Langa." He stroked his hair and Langa leaned onto his shoulder.
"Thanks, but now, I feel like an idiot."
"That's fine. I love clueless Canadians with ocean blue eyes." That made Langa smile.
"Love, huh? I like the sound of that."
"The right answer would be 'I love you, too', dumbass," Reki complained while pouting.
"I love you, too, dumbass," Langa said, smirking.
"Ouch! That hurt!"
Langa was rubbing his forehead that Reki had just flicked for teasing him.
Reki just grinned and lay down again, dragging Langa down, too, since his arm was around his shoulder. He pulled Langa closer and his head dropped on Reki's chest.
"I love you, Reki. I don't know how dating or anything romantic works but I want to find out."
"We'll find out together. I told you that skating is infinite. But our bond is infinite, too. Our lives are intertwined like two loops of infinity. We're soul mates, after all.
"Reki, what is a soulmate for you? What does it mean?"
"Hmm… let's see. A soulmate is like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else."
„Sounds nice."
"That's not all. A soulmate turns you into a better person. Because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever."
„So, the bond to your soulmate is infinite, too?"
„Yes, exactly. A soulmate is the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did. Or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that."
Langa smiled softly. "It reminds me of a story my mom told me when I was really small. Something about a red thread of fate that connects soulmates."
"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break."
„Yes, that's the one."
"I'm surprised you know that. You don't believe in such things."
"No, I don't. I just liked the idea that everyone has a soulmate. That no one stays alone. I know what loneliness feels like, especially after my dad died. So, I like the idea of souls who are meant for each other. Is that weird?"
"No, it isn't. So, you don't believe in fate, either? That it was fate that we met? I mean, we come from different continents. What are the chances that we would meet?"
Langa looked at him but didn't reply. What was he supposed to say? He knew that Reki was romantic and believed in stuff like that. But he didn't. But he had a point that the chances of meeting were pretty low. So, maybe fate existed?
"If you don't believe me, look at our birth dates. Then, you'll believe me."
"Huh, what do you mean?" He stared at Reki in confusion.
"Your birthday is on February 8th, right?" Langa nodded but had no clue what he was hinting at.
"When is my birthday?" Reki asked him.
"Uh… August eighth, right?"
"Correct. So, we have both on the 8th. And if you put the 8 on the side…"
"You get - the infinity symbol!" Langa suddenly exclaimed, grinning at him.
"You see? It's fate."
"Maybe, you're right. Come on, let's add that to our DAP!"
"Great idea!" Reki replied, his eyes sparkling with happiness. "Let's try!"
They both did their usual dap and added their new one at the end.
They both watched the symbol they had created for a moment and laughed brightly before looking softly into each other's eyes.
That's when Langa knew - what true happiness felt like.
And that Reki was his infinite happiness.