Inasa asks Camie's advice on becoming Todoroki's friend. Shishikura and Kaminari offer their own unsolicited thoughts on the matter. The conversation digresses to Team Aircon fighting global warming, Shishikura's not-veganism, Camie's S-HOT-O is SO HOT fan club, and Kaminari's questionable use to the conversation.
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S-HOT-O is SO HOT and Other Shiketsu Silliness
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When Inasa realized his dislike of Todoroki had changed to like, he fully embraced it. He declared it loud and proud, that he likes Todoroki! Sadly, the feeling didn't seem mutual. Todoroki had barely glanced at him, with a disinterested, "Is that so."
Clearly, Inasa needed help. He invited Camie out to lunch to get advice – his treat, she was helping him out after all! Shishikura overheard and decided to accompany them so it wouldn't appear to be a date, which would be against school regulations. And then Kaminari from UA had shown up thirty minutes into their outing.
Why was Kaminari there, hanging out with Shiketsu students? Because he's living his best life, pushing friendship onto purple-haired hero hopefuls with creepy quirks. And Shinsho was busy today with what he called 'supplemental training,' because 'secret bondage lessons with Aizawa-sensei' raised bothersome questions.
The quartet was at the burger shop, Camie and Inasa seated on one side of the booth and Shishikura and Kaminari opposite them. Inasa had been recounting his history with Todoroki while Kaminari slowly pilfered his food.
"What are we talking about?" Camie cut in. "Bromance? Man crush? Boy crush?"
"Um-" Inasa was unsure what those terms meant. "I don't know. I just like him!"
"You say you like him. But you like everything, so what does your 'like' even mean?" Shishikura questioned.
Inasa thought it over. Then he said (shouted), "I REALLY like Todoroki! I want to be best friends with him!"
Shishikura remained skeptical. "Last week, you said you really liked the cockroaches crawling around the dumpster."
"I did really like them! And I really like Todoroki! He's also fast and cool!"
"So Todoroki is on par with vermin to you? It's no wonder he doesn't want to be friends."
Inasa despaired. It was true! Todoroki didn't want his friendship. He kept rejecting it, saying they shouldn't force themselves to be friends.
"Don't listen to Mr. Grumpy over there." Camie patted Inasa's shoulder supportively. "You can totally be Hottie's bestie~! "
"Sorry, dude, Todoroki already a best friend," Kaminari piped up around a mouthful of stolen fries. He snagged Inasa's soda cup and took a loud slurp.
"What, who is this best friend? What's their quirk? Is it better than mine?"
"Midoriya's also in 1-A. His quirk is uh… well I don't know what it's called. But it does… huh. I don't know what it does either." Kaminari scratched his cheek, stumped. "He glows and shatters bones."
Inasa stared. "That's terrifying!"
"His own bones, mostly," Kaminari explained. "He's been to Recovery Girl like thirty times this year."
"How did he get into UA's prestigious hero course?" Shishikura asked incredulously.
"Dunno. How did a guy with a tail and no special abilities get in? Also a mystery. But I'm glad. Ojiro's tail is floofy and fun."
"Okaaaay, so Hottie has a BFF. You can be his BBF, Yoarashi."
"Yes, I will do so!" Inasa vowed, followed immediately by, "What's a BBF?"
"Best boyfriend, obvs."
"Oh yeah, he doesn't have one of those," Kaminari nodded, taking advantage of Inasa's shock to take his rice burger. "At least, I don't think he does? He doesn't talk about himself much. I know he hates his dad and likes conspiracy theories about secret love children. That's about it. So I guess he could have a secret boyfriend. And maybe secret love children?"
Shishikura went squinty-eyed with annoyance. "Really? That's your contribution? Do you not know the basics about your own classmates? Because I'm regretting inviting you to this discussion."
"You didn't invite him. He saw my post about us having lunch and showed up on his own," Camie pointed out.
"Well, I'm regretting him doing that."
"Aw, don't be like that Meat-senpai," Kaminari said playfully, throwing his arm around Shishikura's shoulder. "I know you totally like me."
Shishikura scoffed and shrugged him off. "How preposterous."
During this digression, Inasa had been mouthing "best boyfriend" to himself with his dazed triangle look. The idea had instant appeal. Imagine, him and Todoroki, boyfriends! That meant hand-holding and homemade bentos made with love, didn't it? Inasa made darn good tamagoyaki.
"Don't forget, Shiketsu forbids love relationships," Shishikura scolded, a purple thunderstorm raining on Inasa's parade. "Do you want to be expelled?"
"Pft. Only if he gets caught."
"Inasa will get caught immediately. He'd announce his relationship without anyone asking."
Camie wanted to disagree, because it was fun to disagree with Shishikura and see him riled up. But she couldn't refute the truth of that statement. "Mm, you're right."
"I've known him for less than an hour and even I agree," Kaminari added, and Inasa nodded vigorously.
"Okay, so love relationships are out. How do you feel about hate sex?" Camie asked.
"Like with Endeavor?" Kaminari asked.
"WHAT?! I WOULD NEVER! " Inasa yelled, offended beyond belief.
"I thought you hated Endeavor."
"Not anymore! I decided to give him another chance and cheer him on! And that's a no on the hate sex! I'd only want sex with someone I love!"
"Like Todoroki," Camie teased, elbowing Inasa.
"Okay, so let me get this straight… you want 'love sex' with Todoroki-" Inasa turned red, to the tips of his ears. "-Enji, who you're cool with now?" Kaminari finished.
"Shoto! Todoroki Shoto!" Shishikura shouted, losing his temper at Kaminari's inability to follow the conversation. "He's saying he wants love sex with Todoroki Shoto, you fool!"
"Wow, no need to yell, Meat-senpai. I get it. Yoarashi is in love with the Todorokis."
"Yeah, Shishikura. You're being super embarrassing." Camie glanced around. Dining families and teens were staring at them judgmentally.
The three Shiketsu students removed their hats and hid them in their laps in a belated effort to preserve their school's reputation.
"I'm not in love with Todoroki! Either of them!" Inasa whisper-shouted. "Although I do really like Todoroki and our quirks are very compatible!"
"Yeah! You'd be awesome in the summer! With your wind and Todoroki's ice, Team Aircon can cool down Japan and fight global warming!"
"Yes! Plus ultra!" Inasa enthused. He and Kaminari jumped up to high-five over the table. With the height difference, Kaminari ended up bouncing up and down until Inasa realized the problem and lowered his hand for a low-five.
"Wow. You guys are dorks," Camie observed.
"That's not how global warming works," Shishikura added with a frown.
"It might!"
"No."
"Don't even try to argue with Shishikura," Camie sighed. "He thinks he's an expert on climate change as a level five vegan."
"I'm not vegan, I simply find no enjoyment in consuming meat."
"For real? Why?" Kaminari asked. He had earlier noticed Shishikura's sad cup of lettuce. It was why he was stealing Inasa's lunch instead. Because seriously? Who orders salad at a burger joint? They're absolute trash.
"I just don't," Shishikura said stiffly. "Stop asking about it."
Camie put a finger to her lips and leaned over. "He's traumatized cause he accidentally ate his own meatballed finger," she confided.
"What? Where did you get that ridiculous notion?"
"Well~ like, you're always hiding your hands behind your back."
"You do that, too, you dunce!"
"Only when I want to show off my boobs. And you wear those gloves that only cover half your fingers. What's the point? Except to like, hide a missing finger."
"They're special support items that let me detach my extremities for attack! They're both functional and fashionable!"
"Then why are you traumatized, Meat-senpai? Did you eat someone else? Who was it? Your twin?"
"I'm not traumatized, and I don't have a twin!"
"Well yeah, not anymore. Since you ate them," Kaminari said in a 'duh, obviously' tone, as if Shishikura was the slow one.
"I have not eaten a part of myself and I have not eaten anyone else for that matter! And I never will!"
"Boo~ boring. You'll never be popular with the ladies with that attitude, Shishikura~"
"Why you- you- indecent wench!"
"Senpai didn't eat his twin!" Inasa defended. "He absorbed them in the womb! He says there's a difference and that it's pretty common!" He smiled and flashed a thumbs-up at Shishikura, who continued to glower.
"Whoa, so you DID have a twin! What was their quirk? Spaghetti?" Kaminari pestered. "Is that why you're Sisicross? Cause you're two Shi-shi-ku-ra-s?"
"Why did Shishikura tell you and not me?" Camie pouted, then to Shishikura, "I'm hurt! I thought I was your favorite, Sissy!"
"No, and cease referring to me by that diminutive nickname."
"We got close through our club activities!" Inasa explained.
"Oh, you mean Sissy's super lame hate club?"
"It's not a hate club!" Inasa assured, even as Shishikura muttered, "It's not lame."
"You're the only two members. Trust me, it's lame."
"What club is this?" Kaminari interjected. "Can I join?"
"It's UA's Class 1-A Lacks the Dignity to be Heroes Abhorrence Association! We meet every Wednesday at 8!"
"What? You're generalizing all of us in 1-A because of Bakugo? That's so unfair! Isn't that discrimination?"
"You're right!" Inasa agreed. "I don't want Todoroki to take it the wrong way so let's change the club name to UA's Class 1-A [EXCEPT TODOROKI!] Lacks the Dignity to be Heroes!"
"Me, too! Add me too, Meat-senpai! Change it to Class 1-A Except Todoroki AND Kaminari! C'mon, I know I impressed you at the provisional exam!"
"You can bring it up for a vote at the next meeting," Shishikura replied to Inasa, ignoring Kaminari whining at his side.
"That means no," Camie informed Inasa, patting his arm consolingly.
"It means we'll vote on it."
"Lemme guess. Yoarashi will vote for it, you'll vote against it, and as president, be the tie-breaking vote."
"And we'd have followed proper procedures," Shishikura said, satisfied. "The system works."
"You're no fun. Ohhh, Yoarashi! We should start our own club!" Camie exclaimed. "We can call it S-HOT-O is SO HOT! and you can be president!"
"I don't know if I have time for two clubs with hero training!" Inasa did think Todoroki was hot(-blooded) and deserving of a fan club, but Shishikura had asked first. "Senpai serves veggie platters at his meetings. They're very good!"
"We can have hot dogs, hot wings, and hot chocolate at our meetings," Camie bribed.
"Sounds hot! I'll do it!"
"Yes! Yoarashi likes me better! I'm totally the fun parent," Camie cheered. Not that anyone would have mistaken Shishikura for the fun one with the way he was sulking. Inasa and Kaminari joined in on the cheering, infected by her enthusiasm.
"You're irresponsible, is what you are. Feeding Inasa junk and letting me deal with the stomachache," Shishikura said bitingly. He was feeling like an unappreciated mother and thus, petty. "Todoroki will think he's a stalker if he's president of his fan club. There's no way he'll be his friend then."
"Or he'll find it cute!" Camie said positively.
"Let's ask him!" Kaminari decided, phone already out and typing at lightning speed.
"That's a terrible idea," Shishikura warned, but it was too late. There was the swoosh sound of an outgoing text. They all stared at Kaminari, Shishikura with dismay, Camie with surprise, and Inasa with excitement. Oblivious, Kaminari picked up his (Inasa's) burger and chomped into it. His chewing seemed extremely loud as they all waited for a response.
A few minutes went by before the ding of an incoming message lit up Kaminari's phone. Kaminari looked down at his phone and chuckled. "Hey, look! Shinsho sent me a picture of a purple cat."
Shishikura made an interested noise and leaned over to look, because of course, he's an antisocial cat person.
"What about Todoroki?" Camie asked, as Inasa fidgeted next to her.
"Oh." Kaminari pulled his phone back and tapped back to the right conversation. "He left me on read."
"Ouch." Camie winced, rubbing Inasa's arm. Even Shishikura looked bad about being right.
"You are worse than useless," Shishikura stated. "Lose my number and never contact me again."
"But I don't have your number."
Shishikura snatched Kaminari's phone, entered his number, and handed it back to him. "Lose my number and never contact me again," he repeated scathingly.
"Oh sweet! I'll send you the cat pic." Kaminari hummed, attaching the file and adding several rows of lightning bolt and heart emojis. "This is great. Now I can text you whenever I want. Thanks, Meat-senpai!"
Shishikura facepalmed.
"Okay, if you two are done flirting now-"
"We were NOT flirting," Shishikura denied.
"I was totally flirting," Kaminari grinned.
"-this was supposed to be about helping Yoarashi."
"It's okay! I know everyone tried their best!" Which was a lie, because they had gotten distracted every few seconds like attention-deficient children navigating social media. "Thank you for your efforts!"
"When I get back to the dorms, I'll tell Todoroki what a great guy you are and how you bought me lunch," Kaminari offered.
"I appreciate that!" Inasa enthused. "Although I didn't buy you lunch…?" He looked down, puzzled at the empty wrappers in front of him.
Kaminari's phone dinged again.
"What, another cat picture?" Shishikura asked sarcastically, secretly hoping that it was.
"No. Todoroki replied."
"Well?" Shishikura demanded, when Kaminari didn't elaborate. "What did he say?"
"He said okay."
Shishikura and Camie looked at each other in confusion and Inasa asked, "Okay? Okay what? What does that mean?"
"What did you say to him?" Camie prodded.
"I told him, I'm chilling with Yoarashi. He's crazy into you and wants to be your boyfriend. Is it cool if I give him your number? And he said, okay."
"You said boyfriend? Not friend or best friend? And he said yes?" Camie failed to hide her surprise. Sure, she was rooting for Inasa, but she figured it would take a lot more effort and shirtless flexing to capture his interest.
"I told you, he already has a best friend."
"Let me see," Shishikura demanded. "This is Todoroki Shoto you're talking about? You didn't text Endeavor?"
Kaminari gave him a funny look. "Why would Endeavor want a high schooler boyfriend?"
"I don't know! You thought he'd want hate sex with one earlier!"
"No, I didn't. I thought Yoarashi wanted hate sex with Endeavor. Not the other way around."
"Guys, I don't want hate sex with Endeavor," Inasa complained, unhappy they were revisiting the topic.
"WE KNOW," Camie and Shishikura said.
"Right, right. It was love sex," Kaminari agreed, then before everyone could yell at him, added, "with Todoroki the youngest. Hey, if you get expelled, you can join us at UA!"
"What? Was that your plan all along? To steal away our strongest first year?"
"No, but it'd be convenient, right? You could come, too!"
Inasa entered Todoroki's number in his phone while Shishikura and Kaminari continued to bicker-flirt with Camie spectating. He typed a simple 'Hi this is Inasa!' and paused. He added, 'How do you feel about hand-holding and tamagoyaki?' before pressing send.
'Tamagoyaki is okay. I prefer soba.'
Inasa laughed. That was so like Todoroki! Before he could reply, he got another text.
'Hand-holding seems nice. I'd like to try it.'
Inasa beamed, feeling so happy he could burst.
'I'm looking forward to it, lovebug! :D:D:D'
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The End
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Happy birthday, Inasa! :D Sorry Shishikura stole the scene. I've found Shishikura super amusing since he declared he had big, handsome eyes. Everything about him is weirdly great, from his hero name and costume to his love of vegetables and difficult words.
September 26, 2021