Mahou Sensei Negima! is not so lovingly crafted and owned, judging by what they have made of it, by Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.
The Fate franchise is in a marriage of mutual convenience with Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.
All other characters and franchises mentioned herein are the intellectual property of their respective copyright owners. Like, duh.
And this is...
Fate: Unequally Blade Works Saint Valentine Special.
Dated: February the 13th, 2019.
Tales from Artoria's Harem.
"I feared this would happen," Evangeline Mc Dowell said, as they gathered around Saber's bed. The tiny, long haired and green eyed blonde in the skimpy black dress looked down at the bedridden blonde who was not that much taller and had half closed green eyes of a gentler nature, and diagnosed, "She's running out of prana already."
"But, but how?!" Emiya Shirou protested. "She hasn't even fought that much yet!"
"Just staying alive in this world takes a lot of prana strain from Servants, Boya," Eva lectured the tall, short haired redhead, while Negi blinked in the background at the usage of this appellation for anyone else. "The World detects Heroic Spirits as anomalies out of their time that must be deleted, and thus will try to deplete their energy reserves far more quickly than your natural aging process would to you. Were you a proper magus like Tohsaka, you could supply her with a simple ritual requiring just the barest physical contact to transmit prana, but as you are not…" she shrugged.
"There must be another way!" Negi Springfield snapped back from his pondering on whether he wasn't that special to Master anymore or not, focusing on the most important matter at hand. "Kuro-san's sister could support a Saber of his own long past their Holy Grail War…"
"There are a few," Evangeline confirmed with a nod. "Saber could, for starters, devour the souls of human beings to sustain herself. I estimate, at her current output of magical energy for fighting purposes, Kakizaki, Saotome, Kagurazaka, Yuuki and Morisato should suffice to keep her alive for another month…"
"Why us?!" Yuuki Rito and Kakizaki Misa cried out.
"Why not me?!" the scrawny, pale, elegantly bishounen Itoshiki Nozomu complained in turn.
"I will never do… such a thing!" Saber clenched her teeth, struggling to sit up with Shirou and Negi's help. "I'd rather die than becoming a monster feeding on others… No offense intended, of course," she eventually added, glancing at the loli vampire.
Eva shrugged that off. "Your choice. Don't worry, I'm proud of my nature. There is a second way, that is, that of transmitting prana through a much closer link, that of the flesh, between Master and Servant. Your ineptitude as a magus would normally make even that surefire procedure somewhat less efficient than usual, Emiya, but that is compensated by your Pactio bond with Saber, so it should work okay…"
Everyone else in the room, but Negi and Lala, flushed to the ears, although in Saotome Haruna's case it also came with a wide, creepy smile working its way high up her cheeks. Negi cocked his head aside. "When you say a link of the flesh, do you mean feeding Saber-san with some meat cut off Emiya-san's body? That is simply barbaric, but I suppose, if only a finger or toe, or even a few, is needed, it's a small price to pay for the life of a—"
"I believe he means sex, Negi," the buxom, pink haired Lala Satalin Deviluke plainly told him.
The shorted red haired blinked and now blushed as well, now even brighter than all the others. "Ahhhh… Then, then I'm afraid that's far out of my field of expertise, sorry…!"
"There is a third way I know of," Eva grinned, having enjoyed enough out of everyone's shock, and violent saliva choking in the cases of Saber, Shirou and Rito (for some reason, even though it didn't concern him.) "Kuro's way. Mouth to mouth kissing can be used to recharge one's prana, as long as one is magically apt, as we all present are. Prana can be delivered through saliva in lesser amounts than those present in sexual fluids, but as you could see, it was enough to provide that little rapscallion with sufficient fighting energy."
"Okay… That, I can do," Shirou gulped nervously, while Saber nodded. "I, I mean, we've kissed before already, so—"
"One thing to ponder, however," Eva raised a pointer finger. "Kuro is not a Servant, this is not Grand Order after all, she is a living manifestation of a potential Holy Grail, meaning she can absorb and process mana far more efficiently than a Servant, who is just an offshoot from the Throne of Heroes channeled through a Grail, could. And Servants, especially peak performance Sabers as this one, demand much bigger levels of power than most Magical Girls. While Kuro could recharge herself fully from kissing a single major mana source like her sister or the other world's Kagurazaka, I don't think the same thing could be said about Saber."
"Then, you are saying…" Hakase Satomi asked her, before perky pinky Sasaki Makie could pipe in and derail the conversation with a misunderstanding, "is that Saber-san would require being supported with prana by others in addition to Emiya-sempai, in layman terminology?"
"That would be it," Skuld grumbled, supporting her back against a wall and folding her arms. "I could recharge her fully by just hacking her Spirit Graph into the Yggdrasil Mainframe and supplying her with just a minimum of the system's output, but since coming to Earth I've lost that kind of server administration rights."
"In other words," Yukihiro Ayaka said, paling, "Saber-sama would need being kissed by others of us, besides Emiya-sempai?"
Skuld and Evangeline nodded.
"I'm in! I'm in!" Haruna eagerly offered herself, waving an arm up.
"Haruna-chan…" an embarrassed Rito groaned.
"No," Saber firmly said. "I won't impose myself upon others! Preying on the innocence of youngsters just for my own purposes, that is something I won't stoop myself to either—Unnhhh," she winced, slumping back down on the bed, now visibly paler from the effort of the vigorous protest.
"Saber!" Shirou gasped, holding her hand.
Evangeline rolled her eyes back. "Please, woman. Other than Chachamaru and the ermine, there's nobody in this room who hasn't kissed anyone else yet, and most of those kisses were with the ten years old Boya here. Innocent, my cute firm butt…"
"Your Vampire Lordship, I'll politely let you know I'm a prestigious ladies' men among the ermine fairy folk!" Chamo vehemently lied, perched on Negi's right shoulder. Nobody believed him, not even Negi.
"Saber…" Shirou bit on his lower lip, tightening his grip on the Servant's hand.
The proud King sighed softly. "Very well. I should not take decisions for others anymore, that never ended up well in my time. Every last one of you is free to choose by yourselves, whether you feel comfortable with this or not. Either way, I will not hold your choices against you."
"Saber…" Shirou repeated, now with a heavy sigh, before bending over, hesitating as he placed his face before Saber's fair features, and then glanced over at Eva. "Hey, we don't need a Pactio circle or anything for this, do we?"
"You only have to kiss her!" the vampire growled, annoyed. "But make sure the intensity is Pactio quality-type! With tongue!"
"With tongue?!" Shirou cried.
"With tongue!" Eva confirmed.
Shirou swallowed, visibly pale, and nodded his head bathed on sweat before leaning back towards Saber, who was now closing her eyes and gently pouting her small lips forward. Breathing deeply, he pushed himself ahead and made contact, his lips clasping around Saber's, as she put a hand on the back of his head and kept it in place.
"Uwa uwa uwaaaa!" Chamo chuckled, furry white cheeks puffing up in pink flush.
"You're making sure it's with tongue, aren't you, Sempai?" Akashi Yuuna curiously asked, circling around the bed to get a better looking angle while Makie, Konoka and Misa took pictures with their cellphones, and Haruna feverishly sketched the scene on her always handy notebook.
"She is," Eva observed, looking at the way Shirou's eyes bulged like a certain perverse Caster's. "I suppose we shouldn't be shocked, she was a married man with a son after all…"
Finally, and by the time the faces of Shirou, Rito, Nodoka, Kotaro, Ayaka , Negi, Ai, Sora, Keiichi and Chisame looked like they couldn't get any redder, Saber let go of Shirou, who pulled back with a long gasp for air, his knees wobbling under him. "I feel marginally better now, thank you very much, Shirou," she told her Master with a very beautiful smile. "Now, if there is anyone else who would—"
"My turn," Eva casually said, moving towards her. "Not that I like you or anything, it's just for the sake of novelty. I've never kissed King Arthur before, after all." She grinned, placed a hand at the back of Saber's head, and saucily promised, "This is going to rock your Round Table off," right before passionately mashing her lips against Saber's, in a way that even Kuro would have found scandalous.
Rito and Keiichi took hands to their noses, which now were exploding into fountains of blood. Skuld and Chisame turned their heads away, visibly stunned, while Negi only paled and his eyes grew very tiny. Chamo and Haruna were drooling copiously, and Nodoka found herself oddly lamenting Yue had to be in library turn at the time. Setsuna, Sora and Ai let out a whine of surprise and embarrassment, hiding their eyes behind their hands, and Chachamaru might have frowned ever so slightly, or something vaguely resembling it. Shirou, for some reason, couldn't stop staring on, folding his legs together awkwardly.
Saber was dazed when the vampire finally pulled from their kiss, and the mighty sovereign blinked as if disoriented. "Was that… Was that it all…?" she babbled. "Somehow, somehow, I feel like I'm back at—"
"Not enough yet," Evangeline purred, lazily licking their joined saliva off her own lips. "Next!"
Haruna was going to skip ahead, but much to her surprise, a wide eyed Misa pushed her aside, staring intently at Saber. "Wait your turn, nerd," the long haired queen bee absently said. "Negi-kun, I want you to pay close attention. Pick me, and this is the kind of thing you'll be getting every night…"
"H-HEY!" Ayaka stammered, and so would have Chisame had she not been as transfixed as Negi himself. "What, what kind of depraved thing is that to offer, to someone as young and innocent as, as, as-!"
Misa was not paying her any attention, coming to a gentle halt before the mildly wary Saber, smiling gorgeously at her, and then fiercely lounging ahead to claim her lips with a voracious kiss, even biting on the older female's lower lip.
Negi blinked, actually starting to see some kind of point in Misa's insistent pretenses for a sentimental relationship with him…
"Oh wow," Haruna mouthed, turning the page and quickly doing another sketch as Misa and Saber kept on kissing, the blonde getting more into it now, returning the kiss adequately. Keiichi looked like he was torn between hyperventilating and short of pummeling his crotch down with both fists to hide his excitement at the wonderful sight. "That's some… wonderful technique, it reminds me of Auntie Shan Pu greeting Dad…!" she sniffled, moved to tears.
"Nee-san, shut up," Inugami Kotaro growled out a corner of his mouth, regardless not taking his eyes off the two kissing beauties.
At some point of this he felt Nodoka glancing at him, and then he turned his eyes away in shame, but after some confusion, she giggled, moved closer, and held his hand. Kotaro looked like his head was going to blow up in steam, but thankfully for him, right when he thought he couldn't take this combined onslaught anymore, Misa pulled off Saber, who let go with a hearty sigh. The cheerleader was pretty flustered herself now, as if blinking back from a dream, and nervously glancing back at Negi, who much to her relief was not looking at her with hatred or disappointment but a faraway, fascinated confusion.
Eva sighed. "Saotome, I doubt anyone else will be moving in before you do, so I suppose…"
"A-Actually!" Nodoka raised her voice timidly. "If Paru's okay with it, K-Kotaro-kun and I w-would like to help Saber-san first!"
"BWEEEEEHHH?!" Kotaro said.
Everyone else, Lala and Eva included for once, simply stared at Nodoka in hugely disbelieving, rattled shock and utter bafflement.
"I, I d-don't think I can do this without you… and if I k-keep on looking I'll just faint…" Nodoka confided to her Magister with a whisper, leaning aside against him.
"Then, then don't do it and l-let's leave!" Kotaro whispered back between heavily chattering sharp teeth.
"I never could let a good friend, even a new one, die," Nodoka decided, shakily moving ahead, past a silently tearful and proud Haruna, who gushed adoringly at her. Nodoka glanced back at her. "Paru, you'll back me up when I tell Yue-Yue I'm sorry, right…?"
Paru nodded like a broken Jack-in-the-Box. "O-Of course, but she'll still be mad your first girl kiss wasn't with her…"
Nodoka gave her a tiny blushing smirk. "What makes you think it wasn't?"
Haruna almost rocketed up through the ceiling, much to Rito's discomfort and Lala's curiosity. "You little devil…! I'd be so homicidally mad at you for never telling me if only I wasn't so damn proud…!" she said, tearing up.
Saber fidgeted in place, noticeably unsure again. "Um, these matters of the heart you are discussing so… discreetly right now, if I'm going to disrupt into any pre-established relationship, I really don't want this, these affairs always end up in- Ooommfff!" she said as Haruna shoved a jubilant Nodoka and Kotaro down on her, so they fell on her mouth, the three sharing a tangled, confusing three-way kiss.
"This is so, so, so, so, so motherfucking wrong," Sora said very quietly, her choice of unusual words stressing her feelings much better than her extreme paleness at the time and the way her glasses were slipping down her face could.
"Maybe. But I still want some of that next," Yuuna decided, licking her lips up absently as she stood in line behind Nodoka and Kotaro, who were wriggling together quite interestingly as Saber kissed them both at once, taking control of the situation with her superior experience, although granted, both of her prior partners before this had been fairly older than these.
"Hey, no, it was my turn!" Haruna protested, even as she kept on working with delirious delight to portray the sublime scene before her eyes properly. "It still is!"
"No, first is me, then it is Makie, then it is you, then Negi-kun," Yuuna firmly told her.
Makie nodded sagely. "Sounds about right to me."
"W-Why me?!" Negi cried out.
"Why him?!" Misora, Ayaka and Chisame joined him.
Yuuna gave Negi a pointed glare. "Whatever happened to the teacher who would do anything no matter the price for the wellbeing of his students, I wonder?"
"But, but what if Saber-san is all fully charged by now?" Negi gulped. "You are, aren't you, Saber-san?"
"I… I believe I could use some more prana, actually," Saber said dazedly, gently pushing an even more stunted and wobbling Kotaro and Nodoka off her, and blushing adorably. "I, I mean, Lancer is such a powerful opponent, and I haven't even fought Archer yet, and then there's Berserker…"
"Oh my God," Chisame said, horrified. "We have corrupted her much worse than any tainted Grail could…"
Artoria and Yuuna already were kissing passionately. Makie was coquettishly applying some glittery pink lipstick on herself.
Kotaro still was blinking stupidly, weirdly feeling like he was the luckiest boy in the world right now, and to be fair he most likely was. He still kept enough Kotaroness, though, to grin insolently at Negi and challenge him through his stupor, "I beat you…"
Negi's temper flared. "What do you mean you beat me?! Chisame! He's not beating me at anything, is he?!"
"Why are you even asking me?!" Chisame squealed loudly.
"I hope you mean there's nothing to beat you on about that, not that you're going to beat him at it with Chisame-sama right now, Negi-sama…" Tsunetsuki Matoi warned with eerie calm, while Yuuna gave way to Makie and Makie threw herself for Saber's lips, in a way that was as clumsy and messy as effective.
Haruna grinned insanely at Matoi and pointed, pulling Lala and Rito along with herself. "Of course you won't, because we're going to beat THEM and YOU first! Your Negisame Kiss will be trumped by our Lalarunaito Kiss before yours even can come to pass!"
"I, I don't think that's even physically feasible to begin with…!" Rito wailed, trying to break free.
Lala laughed. "Ah ha ha ha, we always can try…!"
Matoi fumed at Haruna, in turn pulling Chisame and Negi against herself. "Negisame?! You wench! The power of our Negitoisame Love is unbeatable, as you shall see…!"
Artoria sighed pleasantly, wrapping her arms around Haruna, Lala and Rito, and welcoming them into a most close contact with herself. Back in ye old days, she had always enjoyed having knights with lances charge at her, one right after another. This, as it was turning out, was not much different, just less painful.
Standing behind Negi, Chisame and Matoi, gently holding a petrified Skuld by a hand and ignoring Ayaka's screams as Asuna held her from behind and Setsuna was pulled behind them in turn by a giggling Konoka, Keiichi sympathetically told Shirou, "You know some of us will be teasing you about NTR forever after this, don't you…?"
Shirou shrugged with a resigned sigh. "It's okay if there's fair turnaround, don't you think? I'm sure Sakura and Fran-san might help with that. Not Tohsaka, though, she'd surely just kill me…"
Epilogue:
Chamo did not get a kiss.
Happy Valentines!