Eleven years ago:

Two little girls sat before a television, moving their heads slowly to the tune of a jazzy song.

"Daring duck of mystery, champion of right," they sang along together. "Swoops out of the shadows, Darkwing owns the night… Somewhere some villain schemes, but his number's up…"

Then they felt the large shadow of their father loom over them from behind.

"Aoi," Toshaka Tokiomi's voice called out, "what is this nonsense our daughters are partaking in?"

His wife, ever ethereal as a fairy in human figure, walked closer from where she had been knitting. "Oh… Oh, that. I, I was sent some tapes from Mundus Magicus, and I thought there'd be no harm on—"

"Who sent them?" the tall man asked, frowning while walking over to the TV and turning it off.

Aoi lowered her head. "Kariya had them brought over…" she confessed. "It seems this show is very popular over there…"

He struggled a moment with the infernal thing he couldn't understand before managing to pull the film out. "You cannot waste your time rotting your minds with this drivel!" he scolded the children. "If you have got the time for this, you might as well occupy it with your studies!"

Rin lowered her head while Sakura edged behind her, looking for her protection. "Yes, Father…"

Tokiomi paused for a moment before setting a hand on Rin's head. "This is for your own good," he reassured her, in a softer tone than before. "Everything I do is only done for your sake."

"We know, Father…" Rin replied, still just as humble.

A few months later, Sakura was gone. So that was the last time they could watch the show together.

And then…

Tohsaka Rin sat up on the bed, waking up with a start. "Ah!"

Next to her, Sakura stirred, opening her purple eyes slowly. "Neesama?" she gave a tiny yawn. "What is it…?"

"I just remembered, Sakura," Rin said. "I finally understand how I could have summoned Vigilante…"

This, of course, mattered little in the grand scheme of things.

Still, it was nice to know, at last.

Fate and all related elements and characters are the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

All other characters and franchises mentioned within this story are the intellectual property of their respective trademark and copyright holders.

Fate: Unequally Blade Works.

Chapter Five: Magical Ruby.

With special thanks to Darkenning.

"Hello, Tohsaka!" said the heavily accented girl standing on her doorstep, as soon as Rin answered the ring. "It's been a while! Professor Waver sent me to check how you were doing and-"

Rin closed the door on her face.

"Who is it, Oneesama?" asked Sakura's voice from the breakfast table.

"Nobody!" Rin shouted.

"You can't escape reality by denying it, Tohsaka!" said the girl at the other side of the front door. "Believe me, I should know!"

"You got the wrong house, the Tohsakas lived down the street but moved away recently!" Rin said, pinching her own nose.

"You look and sound exactly like my old friend and classmate Tohsaka Rin!" the voice waiting outside said.

"Tohsaka Rin-sama was very popular here so we copied her good looks and fashion!" Rin insisted, forcing her most annoying nasal tone. "Besides, you never were her friend!"

Sakura had already gotten up from the table and approached her sister. "Is she the 'just bothersome' kind of Clock Tower student, or the 'potentially murderous' kind?" she asked Rin in a whisper.

Rin gestured at her with a hand to stay silent.

"I can blow the door in if I want to, you know!" the third girl said.

Sakura sighed, pushed her sister aside, and opened the door again. She smiled her best and closed her eyes. "Good morning, how can we help you? I'm Sakura, the second Tohsaka heiress..."

"Ah, yes, I've heard of you too," nodded the pink haired, quirkily beautiful older girl with the star shaped eyepatch. Several huge luggage backs were set down at each side of her. "Well, take my things inside and start preparing my guest room, will you? I'll have to stay for a while, I'm afraid..."

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here," Rin squinted her eyes icily at the newcomer.

The single exposed eye blinked. "Oh, weren't you contacted to announce my arrival? Didn't you get the Professor's e-mail?"

"We don't have e-mail," Rin said while Sakura, after a heavy sigh, began collecting this strange person's luggage and pulling it inside.

"Yes, that would explain why you wouldn't receive it," the eyepatched female stepped in without a single care. "Where is your Servant? You haven't lost it yet, have you? I have to assume you haven't, or you'd be cowering in the church under that priest friend of yours..."

"He's not my friend either!" Rin growled as she began helping Sakura with the bags.

The foreigner plopped down on a couch and crossed her legs. "There's a whole lot of people you aren't friends with, Tohsaka," she said. "That's bound to cause trouble for you in the future! You should learn from me, other than Luvia, I don't have any enemies anywhere..."

"Sakura," Rin hissed, throwing the last of the annoyance's luggage inside and slamming the door after them. "This is Yvette L. Lehrman, a classmate under Professor Waver Velvet..."

"Ahhhh!" Yvette sighed at the mention of the name, hearts fluttering out of her. "Profesor Charisma...!"

"Is he so sick of you already that he sent you here to trouble me instead?" Rin asked, while Sakura noticed a strange movement inside of one of the bags and lifted an eyebrow at it. "I'd even prefer Flatt over you..."

Yvette frowned briefly. "Now that's an insult, what have I ever done to you to deserve that? By the way, Sakura, you should let Ruby out, I see she's getting claustrophobic in there. And then she'll bitch on for hours..."

Rin's eyes bugged out. "Ruby?!"

"Who is Ruby?" Sakura asked innocently. "A familiar?"

"Sort of," Yvette said, waving a hand at the bag that was moving. "It's that one, unzip it and let the little troublemaker out, it can't be helped..."

"No!" Rin said. "No, don't do it, nothing good can come from it!"

But Sakura was already kneeling by the heavy bag and opening its zipper, genuinely curious. And then a long staff with small wings at the tip flew upwards out of the bag, almost reaching the ceiling and screaming with a squeaky feminine voice. "At last, my big moment is here...! After being teased for so long, Magical Ruby debuts to take no prisoners and give no craps...! Ushering on a new era of lovely justice through magical genocide, the pure hearted beacon of righteousness has arrived...!"

Rin pointed angrily at Yvette. "I blame YOU for whatever happens from this point on!"

Yvette snorted loudly. "You're always such a pain! No wonder the Professor didn't want you handling this! So, where's that Servant already, huh? He's a hunky big man, isn't he? That is why you're hiding him from me...?"

"I don't like this friend of yours," Vigilante deadpanned, seeing Yvette laughing hysterically while slapping her knee over and over.

"I told you she isn't my friend!" Rin growled before grabbing Yvette by the collar and jerking her up so they were face to face. "Okay, enough of that! So what if he looks like that?! As long as he can fight, it's all the same! I didn't summon a boyfriend but a fighter?!"

"That, that thing can fight?" Yvette chortled, right before getting a light bop on the head from behind. Since that bop had just been given by Monster's mace, it wasn't actually all that gentle, and she winced in pain. "Hey, what gives?!" she said, grabbing her head and instantly stopping laughing.

"Monster and Vigilante have grown close," Sakura said with a smile. "They are good friends."

"Uuuh," Monster confirmed.

"I like you already!" Ruby said, flying in circles around Sakura's head. "What if you take me away from that numbskull and use me as you see fit? I'll bet you'd look great in Mahou Shoujo attire! A bit too busty, maybe, but you're still the youngest one here..."

Yvette grabbed Ruby and pulled her down. "That's out of the question!" the girl snapped before telling Rin, "Look, you can't deny he's too small, unless all other Servants are pygmies, what chances does he have?"

"That's my business, not yours," Rin said, folding her arms. "You're here only to take care of the Class cards, right? Just look for them, collect all seven, and then leave the way you came! That's all, and then we can forget we ever knew each other!"

"Nothing would make me happier," Yvette said, all pretenses of good humor dropped by then. "But remember, as the guardian of these grounds, you are obligated to house me in the meanwhile. And I don't want my room to be blown away just because your Servants couldn't watch over your house properly!"

"Saber is our ally, we have an arrangement of sorts with Lancer's Master, Berserker's Master isn't really interested in us, and Negi-sensei is negotiating with Rider as we speak," Rin said. Briefly, she glanced at the screen and said, "The events of this chapter take place shortly after the third chapter of the 108 Girlfriends story." She went back to addressing Yvette, who was blinking in confusion. "That only leaves Caster, Archer and Assassin as unknown factors."

"Assassin alone is reason enough to worry!" protested Yvette, who had read enough on how a Grail War was supposed to go. Professor Velvet had been part of one, after all, so it was her duty as a fangirl to document herself on them. "What guarantees are there that I won't be killed in my sleep?"

"They are decreasing steadily the longer this conversation goes," Rin confessed.

"That was a good one!" Ruby chirped. "You'd have made a great Mahou Shoujo when you were young!"

"I am young!" Rin sizzled. "Anyway, take it or leave, Lehrman. Unless you can get me a stronger Servant, not that you could summon anyone but a Playgirl centerfold model..."

Yvette threw her hands up. "Fine, fine! I can look after myself anyway."

Rin smiled. "Don't be so gloomy now! Just to get me off my hair as soon as possible, I'll even give you the first card!"

"Eh?" Yvette blinked. "You have it already?"

"Not me," Rin admitted, "but I know the girl who caught it. It's the current heiress of Clow Reed's legacy."

"Oh, so Kerberos is around!" Ruby said excitedly. "I can't wait to see the old dumbass again...!"

Rin gave her a level, weary glare before half-sighing. "I doubt he'll feel the same way, but that's between the two of you. Anyway, she caught the Saber, and as everyone knows, Sabers are the best of all Servants, so-"

"Master," Vigilante said, slightly irritated by that remark, "you shouldn't just assume that Miss Nodoka will want to hand the card over. She earned it through a fair fight with it, after all, and it's in her every right to keep it..."

Library Island:

Miyazaki Nodoka nodded and quickly handed the ecstatic Yvette the Saber card. "Of course, I'll be glad to, Senpai!" the younger, shorter girl said. "I also think it should be returned where it belongs, along with all the other cards of its kind!"

"Aaahhhh!" Yvette almost weeped, holding the card tightly. "The Professor will be so proud...! I'll have them all before I even know it...!"

Rin sweatdropped. "This was only a stroke of luck, you'll have to work for all the others..." Then she looked at Nodoka. "Are you sure about this? Will you just give it up like that?"

"It's the correct thing to do," Nodoka said. "And if we don't do the correct things, karma will find a way to punish us and have us sliced like dogs to suffer an ignominious death on the surface of Pluto."

"Nodo-chan, UQ Holder isn't canon for this story and nobody's saying that will ever happen here, just let it go already," Saotome Haruna advised.

"It's not easy, believe me," Ayase Yue said, then addressed Rin. "If it means Servants and Servant-related cards will stop attacking us so much after sensing the card's energy, then it'll be well worth it."

"Where is Kero? Where is Kero?!" Ruby demanded, flapping in place excitedly. "I want to speak with him again! I want to see him reduced to a pitiful plushie and laugh at him, since that must be how he is now if the Clow cards are lost! C'mon, call him here...!"

"He's back at home," Nodoka said. "He'd rather risk being sighted in public as little as possible..."

"Oh, that's his eternal excuse, he's just lazy and likes to stay indoors stuffing his mouth! Get it? Stuffing? Because he's a stuffed toy...!" Ruby said. "Then take me there, we'll have a better conversation that way!"

"I'm not sure we want any of you in our apartment, actually," Yue said bluntly.

"Yue..." Nodoka said.

"Oh, don't worry, the feeling is mutual after all," Yvette said casually. "As a matter of fact, I'll be showering intensely right after going back home, just to get this place's smell off myself. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not extremely grateful to you, it's just that, well...! You know...!"

Yoshimoto Shizuka frowned, wrote something on her notebook, and pointed at the new lines on its pages. I'm afraid visit hours are just over! Please leave now, it's been a pleasure...

When Artoria Pendragon opened the front door, she saw a person in white and red armor standing on her Master's doorstep, their head hidden within a horned helmet, and with a white and red sword sheathed by their side.

"Father! I have come to challenge you to a duel!" this individual boasted loudly, voice echoing from inside the evil looking headpiece.

The short, green eyed blonde in the white blouse and long blue skirt blinked.

"Yes, it is me! Mordred, your legit son and heir!" the stranger yelled, while Saber felt a thin sheet of icy sweat cover her face, and she wiped it down with a hand. "I have come to claim my birthright! I clearly was fated to, as even death could not stop me from-!"

Saber closed the door on this person's face and turned around, applying her back onto the door and hiding her face in her hands, bitterly mumbling curses in ancient Welsh to herself.

The person at the other side banged loudly and angrily on the door. "You realize that I can just blow this thing off its hinges with the greatest ease, don't you...?!"

"Saber, what is that?" Emiya Shirou's voice called from the kitchen. "Is someone here to kill me again?"

"No, they definitely came over for me," his Servant said, allowing a burst of mana to run over her, changing her into her full blue battle dress, with the handle of Invisible Air tightly gripped in a metal gauntlet. "I am genuinely sorry for this..."

Shirou peeked out of the kitchen, after feeling the pull on his mana. "Saber, who is it? You look pale," he observed, walking closer in a white muscle shirt and blue jeans, wiping his hands dry with a cloth. "It's Archer, right? I doubt you'd react like that to an Assassin or Caster..."

"I am a Saber, actually!" Mordred's voice roared. "Father, who is that?! A man who would call himself your Master?!"

Artoria clenched her teeth. "Not here!" she barked. "Not where innocents can be harmed in a suburban environment!"

"I did say I just came to issue a challenge, not to duel you yet, didn't I?!" Mordred's voice demanded just as Shirou lifted the blinds of the window and looked outside curiously. Saber gave an angry hiss and yanked him back, shaking her head. "Give me credit for this much at least, I wouldn't settle for anything less than a Camlann for our decisive rematch!"

Artoria paused, frowning.

Shirou looked at her in a mixture of puzzlement and concern, then opened his mouth to say something. "I think-"

"Don't!" Saber growled, putting a hand on his mouth to silence him, and then turning back and angrily opening the door again. "How did you find me? I didn't even have any idea you existed again!"

"I will admit I had some help," the other Servant, for they had to be that, said, grabbing the helmet and pulling it off. Shirou gasped loudly. Because that act had just uncovered a gorgeous face, identical to Saber's but framed by slightly scruffier golden hair and a furious, sour expression. "But that matters not! Despite what my allies might want for, this is still a personal matter between you and me!"

"Ah!" Shirou said. "You are... a girl?!"

Artoria moved a fist back and hit him in the face with his armored back. Yelping in pain, the young man dropped on his back, curling up into a writhing ball and grasping at his features.

Mordred blinked. "Why did you do that?!"

"To spare him from your doing so, which would have been much more brutal," the King glacially told her.

"I only do that when they keep doing it! I always give people a stern fair warning first, do you really not remember that?!"

Artoria was silent for a few moments, and then gloomily scratched herself on a cheek. "You left us shortly after revealing your gender, and I wasn't paying much attention back then, so no, I did not..."

"Father," Mordred said, helping Shirou back up, "you are such an idiot."

"On second thought, let us do battle right here and now, after all!" the Lion of Camelot snarled, slamming the door closed after her son.

"Very well, start explaining yourself now," Artoria demanded while Mordred calmly ate from the plate of warmed leftovers Shirou had served her after apologizing for not having anything better at the time. It amazed him, actually, seeing someone with Saber's face not just leaving the plate clean in a couple of mouthfuls. It was even starting to scare him a little. "We have been patient, but if you don't start telling us why were you even summoned despite that being impossible, I will have to-"

"Truth is, I wasn't actually summoned here," Mordred said, chewing on a mouthful before swallowing it down. Well, at the very least, she did have some of Saber's table manners, Shirou thought. "You could say that... I come from outta town. I never was meant to fight in whatever War you have going on here."

Shirou grew worried. "You mean... that there's another Grail War happening elsewhere? Why weren't we ever told about this?"

Mordred threw her hands up. "Look, mages are idiots and will keep doing idiotic things no matter how bad they've gone before, okay? You should know that since you're a mage and you look like an idiot yourself!"

"I'm not that much of a magus, I mean, an idiot, I mean-" Shirou growled and ran a hand down his face. "Oh, forget it!"

"Where is your Master, and why have they allowed you to come here if not to fight me directly?" Artoria asked suspiciously.

"My Master is a free range kind of guy and understands I need to make my own decisions like befits a king," Mordred smiled proudly, pushing the now empty plate towards Shirou. "Seconds!"

Oh, so she actually was Saber's daughter, or son, whatever. "Okay, okay," Shirou sighed, taking the plate and heading over to the kitchen for more leftovers to heat.

Artoria wasn't convinced just yet. "There cannot be a Grail War without a Holy Grail, and the only Holy Grail is the one attached to Mahora after Fuyuki's leylines burned."

"That you know of," Mordred pointed out.

Artoria frowned. "Explain yourself."

"It seems that after that mess ten years ago, some of those magical idiots took samples of the mess in Fuyuki City and somehow managed to fabricate a counterfeit Grail in Europe," Mordred said. "My Master was chosen to participate in that War, but he suspects foul play, so before we go there, we dropped by here so he could research the Fuyuki situation, up close and personal."

"So it wasn't your decision to come to these grounds, actually," Artoria said evenly.

Mordred scowled. "Here as in this school? No, I've got to admit it. But after the Master gathered some info on the recent sightings of reckless brawlers across the area, I recognized your signs immediately."

"How so? I have been extremely careful not to be seen by anyone but my allies, who wouldn't speak to you, or my enemies, who wouldn't share information with you or anyone willingly."

"We looked into the police files, actually," Mordred deadpanned. "All those cheap crooks sent to jail after being captured by a mysterious vigilante calling herself Heroine X? You didn't even entertain the possibility one of us would be summoned here, did you?"

Saber mildly panicked, gesturing at her to be quiet while Shirou came back and served Mordred another plateful. "What was that you were just talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing," Mordred said, happily starting to dig in. "Anyway, after learning you were alive and kicking around this area, Master thought it'd be good to check the house of the Master of Saber in the last Grail War. What do you know, it actually paid off! I owe that bastard a dinner now, maybe you can help with that?" she asked, looking at Shirou.

Artoria sighed, feeling a sharp migraine coming in even though she wasn't the Saberface who should be afflicted by those. "I assume you will be leaving for that other Grail War shortly, then?"

Shirou blinked. "Where is that other Grail War? I mean, Grails don't just pop up anywhere like mushrooms, right? Someone had to-"

"It's gonna be in Europe, okay?! What do you care, worry about your own Grail, it's not like I care about yours!" Mordred scolded him, then nodded at her father. "Of course, I will have to duel you before that, unless you make a solemn promise of holding up alive until I have finished claiming my Grail. That would make it even better, making it a contest between two victors, we can even compare Grails and-"

"An European Holy Grail, seriously?!" Shiru gasped. "I mean, how convoluted can this thing get?!"

"Don't repeat what I've just said! This isn't 2814!" Mordred looked angrily at him, and then shrugged. "Franchising, everything nowadays has to be about franchising..."

"Shirou, call Rin," Artoria said, extremely serious. "She will want to hear about this."

"Agggggh!" screamed Rin. "I don't want to hear about thiiiiiiis!"

"Wow, you still suck at understanding hot women," Mordred opined, looking faintly amused.

"I understood Guinevere rather well, it is just that our issues could not be solved through all of the understanding in the world," her father defended herself, the two of them and Shirou standing in the living room of Tohsaka's house along Sakura, Monster and Vigilante.

Tohsaka was now walking from one side to another, ranting. "Why didn't Kirei tell me about this?! Wait, Kirei, stupid question. Why didn't Yvette tell me about this?! Professor Velvet must have known! That two-faced bitch…!"

"Why don't you just call her?" Sakura said patiently, extending a cellphone over to her. "She can't be that busy right now, at most she's only fighting a card and not a real Servant."

Yvette winced as the Rider card, looking much rather Rider herself but sporting a crazed evil grin, grabbed her by the throat and slammed her over and over against a lamppost. "Goddamn!" the Card Captor in Saber gear gasped. "Damn! This is much harder than I thought! Ruby! Do something…!"

Rin looked at the cellphone with squinting eyes. "Sakura, you know I can't use that thing!"

Mordred blinked. "You don't know how…? I know how to, and that didn't come with my modern knowledge package, it only took a quick explanation from the old man! It's easy! I think I'm starting to understand why you could only summon a duck…"

"Oh, the duck is feeble and weak just because he's small. I'd never heard that one before!" Vigilante huffed, folding his arms and looking aside.

"I don't have anything against small animals, rabbits are really terrifying little bastards, for instance," Mordred made clear. "But everyone knows that rabbits will always beat ducks, no matter what…"

"Uuuh," Fran said in defense of her friend.

Someone rang at the door.

Shirou sighed and went over to answer. "That must be Rider. I'll go check—"

Artoria had effortlessly outpaced him and opened the door instead before he could finish covering the distance. "I see you got our call," she blandly told Rider, who stood at the doorstep with a shy looking, small, thin and frail black haired teenager in a white shirt and black pants and shoes. "You didn't need to bring your Master, however…"

"I wasn't going to leave him alone, what if you were pulling me apart from him so your Assassin ally ambushed him at home?" Rider argued, walking in as the boy followed her.

"My Assassin ally? I don't even know who Assassin is supposed to be!" Saber said, closing after them.

"That's what you say," Rider said. She materialized her chain and hooks in her hands. "You have allied yourself with so many Servants already that I wouldn't discard this being a massive conspiracy against us before you start turning on each other."

"That is rich, coming from someone who conspired with Matou to kidnap me and lure Oneesama into a trap," Sakura reminisced dryly.

Rider didn't seem offended by the remark. "We did what we felt had to be done. I wouldn't even resent this being a trap, but I will have to stand alert regardless…"

"Rider, please, no," her companion sighed. He looked at Mordred, who stood there regarding him silently in her full armor. "Um, good evening, Sir, my name is Ikari Shinji and I'm Rider's Master…"

"Okay," Mordred said without any emotion. "Hadn't you said that you were on good terms with Lancer's Master? Won't they be coming as well?" she asked the other Saber.

"Relative good terms," her father said. "She is a professional magus, so she will not be walking into what, for all she knows, could be a trap unless she deems it absolutely necessary."

Rider and Shinji sweated a small drop each. So we are idiots here, just for coming when you called...?

"I see," Mordred said. "So, except for that woman and probably the Masters who remain unknown, this Grail War is nothing but a bundle of children who somehow bungled into summoning Servants?"

"I'd like to protest against that observation, but seeing the present company, I suppose that I can't deny your point," Rin sighed.

"Tohsaka..." Shirou grumbled.

"What about your Master?" Artoria asked her spawn. "Can he be called a man of honor when he isn't here with us for a reunion this important? Or is he one of those unscrupulous Masters who stick to the shadows plotting horrible moves based on murder and deceit, like some people whose names I will not mention to avoid offending their offspring?"

"You already have done that regardless, you know!" Emiya observed.

"What's wrong with that kind of people?" Mordred asked. "You never had any issue with You-Know-Who in our ranks."

"Oh, so you two have a history together," Rider smiled.

"That's not important right now!" Artoria said, raising her hands in a 'Stop that train of ideas already' gesture.

"My Master is outside right now, overseeing this house with a sniper rifle and several explosive charges from a safe vantage point," Mordred confided. "So in the event any of you is plotting any funny stuff... You'd better forget it, because he'll get you even if you slipped past me."

Her father scowled. "So he is that kind of man too..."

"Gathering intelligence, even through questionable means, and being prepared for any eventuality, are also important parts of strategy, Saber," Rin lectured King Arthur even when she had no grounds for doing so. "And speaking of that..."

She gestured at Sakura, who sighed and pulled her cellphone out. "Negi-sensei?" the youngest Tohsaka asked. "Oneesama would like to know how your surveillance is going... Yes, yes, I see... That is... good, I suppose? Sorry to bother you this way... You're too kind... Very well, then, bye."

She cut the call and told her sister, "No, they are checking on Kuzuki-sensei again and he still doesn't seem to have summoned anyone. Of course, they can't get too close, but Chachamaru-san's sensors have good range, and yet..."

"What is all of this about?" Mordred inquired.

"There is a teacher in Mahora who we have reasons to believe might be Caster's Master," Shirou explained, recalling what Ala Alba had been told in Kyoto, "but apparently it isn't so. This is bad, how can we move onto a foreign War without taking care of the one here first?"

"You just leave that to me, it's what I was called for," Mordred said. "All I want is proof on the Grail being cursed, because if it is so, then the copies made from it would be as well."

"Copies?" Shinji echoed.

"Besides the one in Europe, the American magi are supposed to be developing one as well," the new Saber confided.

"Oh, for the love of-!" Rin facepalmed. "This never ends, or does it?"

The front door went open then, and all of the Servants pulled their weapons out, startled. Then they saw a young woman, badly bruised and beaten and wearing a tattered copy of Saber's battle gown, stumbling into the house. She looked at Rider with the eye not covered by a patch, and smiled weak and nervously.

"Ah ha ha ha, oh wow, you came all the way here for me..." Yvette stuttered, and then fainted, dropping on her face as Shinji shrieked.

"Miss!" Shirou gasped, rushing to her side to aid.

Rider blinked visibly under the blindfold. "Um, I have no idea what she is talking about. This is the first time I have ever seen this person."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't hold it against you anyway," Rin deadpanned.

"Woo, I'm beat!" Ruby said, floating towards the kitchen with two bandages crossed on its tip, as Mordred looked at her with puzzled curiosity. "Sakura-chan, massage me a little after putting ice on me, will you? Thank you, you're a dearie...!"

"Shouldn't you be with your Master now?" an annoyed Artoria asked, as Mordred materialized in full armor again right as Shirou and her were about to enter the Emiya house once more. "The reunion is over, we really don't have anything else to tell you, and shouldn't you be on your way over to Europe?"

"I have to talk it over with my Master, he's the one paying the plane tickets after all," Mordred said matter-of-factly while Shirou sighed, opened the door, and walked inside.

"That's what I'm saying, why haven't you gone back with him then?" Artoria asked with irritation. "Didn't you say he was right outside- Oh," she said, looking inside as Shirou stopped dead in his tracks, then giving a step back and summoning a copy of Suzushiro Haruka's spiked mace into his hands.

A taller, muscular man with a scar across his face and dark shades was sitting on his couch, watching the television. He looked back and flipped them a casual, two finger salute and a harsh smirk. He had long brown hair, already thinning around the forehead, and was wearing a black jacket, pants and boots, which made him look more like a biker than a magus.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" this man said. "I had plenty of time to break in here, make myself comfy, and even watch a soap after you were done with your meeting. Were you shopping, or what?"

"This," Mordred said, "is my summoner, Sisigou Kairi. He says he used to know your father, boy."

Shirou blinked and lowered the large blunt weapon a bit. "He did?!"

Artoria groaned and facepalmed. "Oh, no, this is the absolute last thing I needed! Not another one...!"

Somewhere else, sometime later, night fell over an old, decaying European city, far away from Academy City.

The woman's annoying, ever agitated voice rattled at him from across the line, and the man repressed his every urge to curse her through the cellphone, in no small part because he knew she could turn the curse back on him. "No, no, I'll be summoning him from my own side. Nothing personal, but... you know."

"What are you talking about!?" the female voice was berating him now. "You know Lord Darnic won't like that! If we're going to be a team we've got to act like one, you can't just start acting on your own!"

Bitch, you aren't one to talk about teamwork, he thought before answering as politely as he could. "Let's be honest for a moment here, Celenike-san, you know I'm an outsider to your clan as it is, and besides... The procedures for my summon are complicated enough that I don't think the Count would like having them take place in his castle. For everyone's best, I really should be summoning Assassin before taking him there."

"Oh," Celenike said, apparently taking that as a reasonable enough explanation. After a moment, she added, "Send me the video?"

"Hai, hai, complete and without cuts," the young man calmly humored her, even smiling. "See you later, then. Good luck with your thing!" He cut the call and then tossed the phone away, sneering venomously. "Upstart cunt!"

He then smiled again, mercurial as ever, pulling a book from a small wooden table and walking towards the shapely, long haired young woman tied at the middle of his ceremonial chamber. She was so healthy and succulent, all curves in all the correct places. Full breasts and wide, firm hips, he would miss making use of her body after he was done with her. But nothing but the best would suffice for his guest of honor.

"This is why I only like Japanese women, you know," he casually told his prisoner, also taking hold of his ritual knife and making another cut on her arm, spilling her blood along the circle drawn under her. Ignoring her scream of pain, he kept on talking placidly. "You know your place. The moment I saw you, I could feel we were soulmates, Reika-chan. Strangers in a stranger land, and we complemented each other so well, didn't we? Thank you so very much. I'll never forget all you gave me."

"P-P-Please, Hikaru-kun, d-don't do this, I l-love you, I...!" she wailed, trying to thrash free, but too weak already to succeed. "I swear, if I did anything bad, f-forgive me..."

"There's nothing to forgive, Reika-chan. I love you too," he said benevolently, stepping back to stand at the head of the circle. "By the way, my actual name is Sagara Hyouma. So sorry, it'd never have worked between us. A relationship can't be based on lies."

"W-w-What?!" Rikudou Reika gulped.

"For the elements, Silver and Iron. For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Contracts. For the ancestor, the great master, Schweinorg," the man read the difficult foreign name to the best of his capacities.

The lines of the circle under Reika began glowing, and she had to struggle harder to even stay conscious, pulling again on her binds.

"Close the gates of the cardinal directions," the man continued, and Reika felt her knees sagging. Actually, she felt like fainting, now. "Come forth from the Crown, and follow the forked road leading to the Kingdom!"

I can't die like this, Reika decided in her mind. I don't want to! Oh God, this is going to hurt so much!

"FFill, fill, fill, fill, fill. R-Repeat now, repeat five times. B-But when each is filled, destroy it. Set!"

"Why are you doing this?!" Reika yelled desperately. Her lover paid her no attention and kept on chanting.

"Heed my words. My word creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. You, heeding the call of the Holy Grail and obeying my will and reason, answer me."

A soft current of air and wisps of mist started rising from the circle, but the summoner kept his blood cool and his drive firm as best as he could. He closed his eyes to facilitate his concentration, blocking all distractions from the goal etched into his mind, and the written words he'd memorized.

"I hereby swear that I shall be all the good in the world. That I shall defeat all evil in the world. You, seven Heavens, clad in the three great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding!" he shouted, opening his eyes again. "Guardian of the Scales!"

And the whole room seemed to explode in a huge ball of expanding darkness. Reika's captor coughed and stumbled through the dense fog that had suddenly filled the library, dropping his book, but soon enough it passed, and a new figure was visibly standing between him and the woman of torn clothes.

This one was sort of difficult to describe. It was, against his every expectation, just a girl, and a fairly young one at that, even if her attire tried its best to say otherwise. She was pale and slim, with short light hair and strange, quiet but deep eyes that bore into your own gaze with a soft but unnerving intensity. She wore a skimpy black top that hugged her shapely torso very tightly, even smaller black bottoms, and tall black boots on her rather long, disturbingly curvy for her apparent-age legs. Her arms, under her elbows, were covered in thick bandages, with a black glove only in her left hand, and there was a large collection of huge sheathed knives hanging all around her waist and hips.

At the sight of these knives, the cruel man's face shone with joy, replacing his earlier surprise and fear.

"I got it... I drew the right one after all!"he proclaimed, radiant with jubilation, almost like a child himself.

Reika herself paused at this girl, pale and very unsure of what to think about her, until the girl herself spoke for her first, with a distant, quiet and eerie voice. "We're Servant Assassin," she said, faintly sounding like some form of British. "Are you our Mum?"

"Ahhh...!" Reika could mutter nothing else through a mouth spilling oozing, thick blood all the way to the floor, trickling towards her boots.

"We understand..." the little girl distantly said.

The man standing scowled. "Hey," he said. "You are my Servant, aren't you?"

Her ice-blue eyes flashed like jewels at him. Instinctively, he panicked, raising the hand with the red marks on its back, and began mouthing a desperate command, only to find out that, as soon as his tongue had begun lashing, his lower jaw already was dropping all the way to that dirty, wooden floor, even as her hand holding the large unbound knife twisted around the skilled wrist, faster than he ever could hope to react.

He tried to scream, and only an incoherent, pitiful sound came out along his cascading blood. Without even a blink, the little girl swept a leg around and hit his, making him drop on his back, where he kept on rattling madly, clawing at his blood-caked face, trying to apply a healing spell on it. "You're not a Mum," Assassin told him detachedly, then gently stepped ahead and began to cut through Reika's ropes. "So rot in hell..."

"Th-Thanks. W-What… What is your name?" Reika could finally stammer, through her shocked dizziness and stupor.

"We've told you already, Mum," the small Servant replied quietly. "We are Assassin. Does that disappoint you?"

"What do you… N-No! No!" Reika gasped, panicking again. "I, I mean, I say, w-what's your real name, n-not your... profession?"

"Oh," Assassin said. "You may call us Jack, we suppose. Should we kill that man behind us now? We still feel hostile intentions from him."

Reika looked down at the sobbing Sagara Hyouma, regarding him coldly, like the piece of trash he actually was, and kept on simply staring, narrowing her eyes. Finally, she spoke again, still struggling to stay conscious. "Make it hurt," she decided.

"Can do," Assassin nodded, moving onto him and raising her knife.

When Reika finally woke up, she saw Jack sitting by her bedside, looking down at her curiously. The woman tried to smile at her, but then felt an intense pain in her right hand, and when she looked at it, she saw someone had performed some manner of grotesque skin graft on it. The red marks she had seen on Hikaru's hand when he went crazy and attacked her were stitched on her now along the surrounding flesh, and it burned so badly Reika felt like vomiting. It was a pain stretching up her arm and all the way into her brain, triggering a migraine.

"Ughhhh...!"

"We apologize, Mum," Jack lowered her head contritely, "but we had to do this if we wanted to live with you."

"So this is... your doing?" the woman swallowed, lifting the hand closer to her face. "Why?"

"A being like us can't stay alive without what they call a Master," Jack explained quietly. "If we were to kill that man, then Mum had to be our Master. That's okay, it'll heal over time. They are the signs marking Mum as our Master, now."

"Why... Why do you call me a 'Master'? What's the purpose?"

"This isn't a thing we knew before," Jack recalled, taking a finger to her mouth, "but the big light told us everything before we came here. Or, was it a big darkness? Doesn't matter. Beings like us are called Servants, and we fight along Masters like Mum, to reclaim a cup that will make all our wishes a reality, the Holy Grail. That's it, really," she shrugged. "We are trying to make it easy and precise for Mum, plus, we never were very well read anyway."

Idly, she grabbed a book from the nightstand and flipped through it before frowning and shaking her head. "Most of us never learned how to, actually."

Reika took on all of this with an expression of complete perplexity, then began rubbing her aching, tense neck with her left hand. "I think I understand the basics, sort of. Thanks all the same, Jackie-chan."

"Yes. You're welcome."

Quietly, Reika noticed the small blue book Jack was trying to decipher, and asked for it with a hand gesture. Wordlessly, Assassin obeyed the unspoken command and handed it to her. The woman began reading through the annotations on it, several of them only confusing her further, but most of them filling some gaps in this extraordinary impossible situation that had suddenly dropped into her life. She liked to think she wasn't that dumb, and in her own way, she probably was quite correct indeed.

"Trifas, eh," she calmly said to herself after a moment. "That's in the countryside, I believe..."

"Mum, we're hungry," Jack moaned, taking a hand to her exposed stomach.

Reika smiled at her. "Of course, you must be, you've just made such a long journey after all, my baby. What would you like best?"

"Human souls."

"..." Reika said, and then, "Have you tried Hikaru-kun's already?"

"We're still hungry. Just one or two, please..."

Reika paused, frowning mildly, until she heard the giggles and whispers of some fellow street walkers as they passed by the old house, right before the window.

Reika smiled, since she had always hated Sonja and Francheska, those bitches. "Sure, why not? Let's go for a quick night snack."

There was a castle in the woods, high up the mountains surrounding the Mahora District. The Mahora Einzbern Castle, one of several such fortresses built by the Einzberns close to Japan's most important leylines, was not as great and large as the ruins of the one near Fuyuki that had once housed Saber and Irisviel, but it still was gigantic enough as to keep most locals away, scared by rumors of ghosts haunting its halls.

In truth, there were no ghosts of any kind in the building, since Illya and Sayoko were the first people to actually live there after shaking a lot of spider webs and dust off. But it had done an excellent job of preventing unwanted visits until today.

"You have got a lot of nerve, coming here," Illya told Negi, Chisame, Asuna, Ayaka and Chamo as they were brought before her presence by Sayoko.

The small albino, in slippers and a wine-purple gown, rested lazily on a large throne-like chair at the end of an otherwise empty room, eating ice cream from a huge bucket and with a PFP resting by her side. Chisame was having strong Evangeline-Skuld vibes already. How old was this brat anyway, if the other two were any indication?

"We felt we had to speak with you," Negi said respectfully. "We have been informed by Shirou-san that there may be another Grail War brewing in Europe as we speak."

"So?" Illya said. "Did you come for information on that? Why should you care, you aren't even a Master anyway. Or have you manifested Seals already?"

"How… How long have you known?" Ayaka blinked, surprised.

"That was a concern of Grandfather since before sending me here, apparently the Magus Association was looking for alternatives to what they deem the Japanese Problem," Illya told them.

"And you never thought it necessary to tell your own brothers?!" Ayaka demanded.

"Since I originally came here to kill said brothers, no, why should I have?" Illya asked back matter of factly. "How did you learn anyway? Did Tohsaka tell you?"

"She was as surprised as we were," Negi said.

Illya chuckled. "No wonder! Heh, her family's fallen so hard, that they didn't even care about informing her…"

"Well, your family isn't involved either," Asuna said. "So it's not like you guys have much of an advantage…"

"Who says we aren't? Grandfather likes covering all angles," Illya said. "He said he was sending someone there just in case, it's not hard for him since as a founder of the System he can just graft Seals on any homunculus he creates…"

She paused, looking at the surprise on her visitors' faces. "What? He's got a cold heart. For him, I am replaceable, and he wouldn't ever place all of his hopes on me, even if I happen to own Heracles. That's the kind of man he is." Then she added, "Before I deign to share any more information, I demand for an answer to my question. Who did tell you?"

"A second Saber just showed up out of nowhere and told Saber-san about that," Matoi said.

Sayoko and Illya recoiled, surprised by her presence. "Ah!" the latter said. "You were here?!"

"Yes, always," Matoi nodded. "But she only mentioned it taking place on Europe, not exactly where…"

Illya sighed. "Transylvania," she said. "A rogue group of magi known as the Yggdmillennia have fortified themselves there and have secured the lands gestating the second Grail."

"Transylvania? The land of Count Dracula?" Asuna blinked.

"Oh, so you aren't that ignorant after all!" Illya said condescendingly. "Then again, I have to assume you know that only from movies and cartoons."

Asuna pouted. "What matters is that I got it right!"

"This second agent of your clan, who would it happen to be?" Ayaka asked warily, a subtle, looming image of an evilly grinning Kuro-san beginning to emerge from the back of her mind, and making the skin on the back of her neck crawl. "Have you met her or him? What kind of person would they be?"

"I make a point of not interacting with the labor homunculi unless absolutely necessary, that is why I chose coming with Sayoko instead," Illya sneered, pointing at the black haired maid, who smiled softly. "I don't know, I think Grandfather was creating that person when I was sent here. Since I follow the same template as my mother and our Third War representative, I suppose this person also does. Probably cloned from me using the genetic material Grandfather keeps in storage…"

Chisame, Ayaka and Asuna all repressed a quiet urge to scream, the Kuro image now hugely looming over all three of them and giggling nastily.

"I see, thank you, that is very helpful," Negi breathed out. "In return, I will tell you that we have managed to contact the Rider."

"And you surely haven't taken the chance to kill them or their Master," Illya scoffed.

"Illya," Negi said. "It's for the best if everyone makes a common front here, rather than doing what the Grail wants and unleashing a bloodbath on Mahora…"

"Yeah," Matoi said blandly. "That's why we want you to help us find the Caster, Archer and Assassin and complete the set." A beat. "Preferably without having your jolly gray giant killing them."

"You make a lot of demands to someone whose property you have just intruded into," Illya chided them, coming off the seat. "But I might be persuaded to play along for the time being, if only because I'm curious exactly what do you plan to do. If nothing else, seeing you fail before Heracles plows through all of those inferior Servants in a sweep will make for a spectacular endgame, and it'll be convenient having them all in a single place for it."

"Confident of herself, isn't she," Asuna said, as Illya gestured at them to follow her, which they did, down a narrow corridor further into the fortress. Chisame kept on mumbling something about traps between her teeth.

"She should, if the other Servants are the same as Kuro-chan told us, then she's got a clear edge over everyone," Chamo answered in a low voice. "But those other Servants, who knows, Kuro-chan never said anything about that…"

Illya had stopped before a large indoors pool, and undid her gown, letting it drop around her feet. Negi and the girls gasped as she stepped out of her slippers and into the water, clad only in white panties. "We will discuss our terms over a soak, this country is too hot for my tastes and I need refreshing. Don't worry, you are allowed to come in your undergarments, or nude if you prefer it so…"

Negi made a long, choked, high pitched sound.

Chamo dropped from Negi's shoulder, falling on his back and crashing against the floor with a loud sound.

Absently, Sayoko kicked the ermine back and out of the room even as she began stripping.

Going against the wishes of someone who is highly unstable, immature, and holding the reins of Hercules himself is generally not the best of ideas, so after some objections Ala Alba had stripped down to their underwear and joined Illya and Sayoko in the pool.

Chisame tried to tell herself that this was not that different from bathing in swimsuits in Evangeline's resort, and Negi apparently felt more or less the sound, since he looked more at ease now, after his earlier embarrassment. Ayaka, though, seemed hypnotized by Negi's bared chest, and simply sat there with unblinking fixed eyes, a small red stain on her nose.

"We have reasons to believe that the Caster might be Medea, the Greek sorceress of myth, the disciple of Circe," Negi was telling Illya. "However, the man we thought might be her Master hasn't given any signs of being involved with the Grail War, and we have kept tabs on him for nearly two weeks now."

"Oh, yes?" Illya asked. "And how did you come to suspect of that man, and about Medea being the Servant you are looking for?"

"I... I'm not sure you will believe me..." Negi said.

"You have to tell me regardless," the albino replied.

He breathed deeply. "It was told to us by a dimensional traveler we met in Kyoto, one who was the sister to your counterpart in a parallel world."

Illya frowned. "Well!" she said indignantly. "I suppose that I brought this answer upon myself!"

"I swear I'm not trying to make-"

Illya raised a hand to impose silence. "I understand! You have your sources, and we have ours! As long as your data is reliable I couldn't care any less about the origins. Medea, huh... A formidable mage like her would secure a proper power source before doing anything else, so your first destination should've been obvious."

"We thought of the World Tree as well," Negi said, "but I have circled it several times and I couldn't feel any disturbance in its magical pulses."

"You're so naive!" his sister said. "A mage from the Age of Gods like Medea could mask her presence from modern magicians easily. If she doesn't want to be detected, she won't show her hand unless another Servant approaches her. You should send Saber there and see if that provokes Caster into acting; Sabers and Casters are sort of natural enemies so it might move the witch into action."

"Why don't you send Berserker there yourself?" Matoi asked.

"Because I'm not interested, you're the ones who want to find Caster so that's on you," Illya sneered. "We don't have an interest on fighting Servants who won't have the galls to come out and fight heads on."

"You aren't going to win the War thinking like that," Tsunetsuki warned. "In a war, there's no such thing as a small enemy."

"Shut up!" Illya said. "The vermin will take care of each other, why should I bother?"

"He... He isn't here right now, is he?" Chisame asked. "Berserker, I mean..."

Illya smirked. "No, he is guarding the perimeter. But I can call him if you want me to!"

"I'll pass, thanks," Chisame grimaced.

"Ah, yes, you're into smaller and younger men, aren't you?" Illya pondered idly. "What about Assassin? Aren't you worried about Assassin?"

"We have reasons to think that we'll find Assassin as soon as we find Caster," Negi informed her.

"Oh, an unholy alliance?" Illya said. "That makes sense, the weaker Servants might need to work together to stand a chance. How about Archer then?"

"Archer... We aren't sure how to find Archer," Negi confessed. "Actually, our sources told us that Tohsaka Rin-san should be the Master of Archer, but... obviously, that is not so."

"Search for all the recent entries in Mahora, any outsiders who may have moved in recently," Illya suggested. "That's your best bet out of waiting and hoping."

"We're doing that, but it's taking time," Negi sighed. "The recent Honnouji exodus is pouring a lot of new arrivals into the Mahora area. That school is growing too unrestiful and conflictful, but we haven't had the time to look into it yet, what with everything else going on."

"Illya," Asuna spoke at last, "if the Grail isn't cursed after all and you happened to win the War, what will you wish for?"

Illya blinked. "Oh? What brought this sudden interest on me?"

"You're Sensei's sister after all," Chisame said dryly. "We aren't that inhuman! We pretty much have to care!"

Illya absorbed these words in wide eyed silence for a moment, before closing her eyes and making a small smile. She shook her head. "You really don't get how the Heaven's Feel works yet, do you? The Grail isn't just going to magically appear out of nowhere when all Servants but one are dead. I mean, yes, it will do that... but it also needs a vessel to manifest itself."

"What kind of vessel?" Negi asked. "Saber and Rider haven't mentioned that..."

"Well, I imagine that it would be a touchy issue for Saber," Illya said. "The vessel needs to be a living entity, a human, or better yet, an improved take on human life. Such as my mother was in the Fourth War. We, the elite Einzbern homunculi, have been created with such a purpose in mind."

Negi and the girls pulled back in stark realization, freezing in shock. Even Ayaka had been snapped from her fascination with Negi's youthful flesh.

Illya laughed weakly and patted the water with a hand. "That's fine. It's what I want, too. Reaching the Root, the Source of all magic, is what any true practicioner should wish for. Personal wants are meaningless, and once I achieve mine by killing you and Shirou, well... after all... that's what I'm meant to do..."

"No," Negi said, standing up, his hands tightening into fists. "NO!"

Illya frowned again. "You won't tell me what to do with my life..."

"NO!" he insisted. "You aren't going to throw your life away! As your brother, I forbid you to!"

"You are the little brother, you do as I say and not the other way around! And besides, this is the opposite of throwing one's life away! It's the best and brightest any magus could ever hope for...!"

He threw himself against her and hugged her tightly. "I haven't even gotten to know you yet! I'm not going to lose you like I lost our father!"

Illya blushed and shivered against him. "L-Let me go! What are you saying, you idiot?! I don't have a choice anyway, as the Servants die, I'll be transforming into the Grail regardless!"

"Then no Servant will die," Negi promised, holding her close. "So you don't have to, either. I don't know how I will do it, but I'll keep you safe, no matter what anyone might say, even you. This, I swear..."

Elsewhere, the Judge patrolled the perimeter of the Mary Magdalene church, cackling to himself. Soon, all sinners and criminals would pay. He could feel it in his bones.

There had been growing reports of more fights between Servants happening across the campus, and it wouldn't be long before they started turning to lethal skirmishes. Dark blood for the cup of Death, which would overflow and wipe all life off. That would be so glorious, so...

He felt a presence approaching the church. "Gilgamesssssh?" he asked, raising his guns.

"No," a mocking voice came from the darkness. "Not exactly, Bro. Sorry! Do I dissssssapoint?"

"Who are you? Sssssshow yourssssself!" the cadaveric monster demanded. Surely that golden idiot was out again, enjoying himself with frivolities. It didn't matter. He'd have this killing all to himself.

Someone stepped into sight, wearing bright yellow, and staring at Judge with bugging, bloodshot eyes. His face was a just as primaru and stark green, with a huge demented grin twisting it upwards.

"Bersssssserker?" Judge asked.

"Ssssssorry, missssed again!" the other Servant cackled, still mocking his accent. "Try Trickssssster! The landlord ssssent me ssssince you're long overdue your rent!"

Judge opened fire madly on the incoming Trickster, who charged at him while laughing loudly. "Trickssssster!? Never heard of you! Doesssssn't matter! Sssssoon you won't be anything but a-!"

The insane intruder, pumped full of holes but never slowing down, grabbed Judge by the helmet and crushed it in his hand. "The veredict issss reached!" he laughed. "Guilty as sssssssin, you heard it here firssssst, ladiessss an' germsssss! And moi? Why, moi, like alwaysssss, issss just plain-"

There was a bloodcurling scream, drowned down by the echoes of that deranged laugh.

"Ssssssmokin'!"

To be Continued.

Omake!

Low Hanging Fruit.

"I thought they didn't execute anyone by hanging in this era," Mordred observed as she and her father passed under a large tree.

"Hmmm?" Artoria looked up at the man hanging from a branch. "No, this is Professor Itoshiki. A friend of ours. He does this all the time."

"Ahhhh," said Mordred, unfazed. "A pity, I was starting to have hope for these times again."

There was a pause.

"So, how long did it take him to know you, for him to start doing this?"

"As soon as I get him down, I am going to hurt you!" Artoria promised, going to look for a ladder.

Why Didn't Unequally Kirei Steal Lancer from Bazett?

"Kirei, I was wondering," Gilgamesh said from the couch, where he rested indolently sipping wine, "why didn't you steal the red haired woman's Servant from her after all? I seem to recall that was your original intent."

The priest paused grimly from the church budget he was reviewing. "Indeed," he said at last. "But when she entered these premises to register Lancer in, she had him constantly on guard. So I never could hope to stand a chance past the defenses of the Hound of Ulster."

"Oh?" Gilgamesh said. "I thought you had her full trust."

"So did I," Kirei admitted. "But in hindsight, there was a moment where I failed. A single instant that must have changed her perception of me. Had things gone differently, Lancer would be under our control now. But I was weak, back then. It happened during a joint mission in France, five or six years ago. She was just a child, and she would follow me anywhere without a single question. We set camp by a river, and then, during the middle of the night, while she slept..."

The blond man raised an eyebrow. "Kirei! I never thought your appetites would get the best of you like that..."

"... I stole the pudding she had been saving for the next day," Kotomine finished, dropping his head.

The King of Heroes seethed. "You bastard...! So it's long been a vice of yours...!"

"I don't even like pudding, I just crave to see your faces when I do it...!"