September 24th
7:00 PM
Somewhere in Ontario, Canada
It was cold and damp, though that much could be easily expected during the back half of the year, especially when travelling down roads not used so often. A shifty looking bus, one that had the words "Inmate Transportation Bus" scribbled out on the side of it, rolled along the dirt road, droplets of rain pounding down on the roof of it. There was a loud crack of thunder, typical, and of course, it was followed by the flash of a lightning bolt, not even three seconds apart from each other. The cycle of thunder and lightning continued to go on and on as the bus approached its destination, that being the recently renamed McLean Asylum for Deranged Delinquents. Not much was known about the place, well, aside from the fact that it had been long abandoned, and only recently did the infamous Total Drama host take interest in it.
A bump in the road, of course, something that caused the bus itself to bounce off of the ground. Any seasoned fanatic of mystery and horror could see that, whatever was in store for the bus's passengers at the asylum, it wouldn't be good. Finally, the bus screeched to a halt, stopping just in front of a tall brick wall, one with a menacing, metal gate in the dead center of it. The fumes of gas coming out of the bus's exhaust soon came to a stop as well, the door at the front of it swinging open. The bus driver himself came out of the bus first, that being none other than the notorious Chef Hatchet. He wore his blue pilot's outfit, the very same one that he had used several times before, and in his hand was an umbrella, the fabric being just as blue as the outfit itself. He held the thing above his head, though it quickly drew in a lightning bolt, effectively turning it into ash, which fell to the ground, leaving the now burnt man standing in the pouring rain, a shocked expression on his mug.
Sure enough, a familiar cackling made itself heard in the distance, drawing the attention of the veteran towards the noise. There he was, Chris McLean, cheesy tv grin and all, though he was wearing a yellow raincoat, with a matching hat and boots. He approached his co-star, patting him on the back while he continued to chuckle to himself, of course, gaining an eye roll from the much taller man.
"Maybe someday you'll figure a way out of being the pain magnet, buddy," the smug host jabbed the bus driver with his elbow a few times, "But, making fun of your pain aside, it looks like you made it here in mostly one piece. What about the campers- ah, you know, that doesn't really suit this season very well, does it? The...inmates! That's much better! All fourteen of them are in there, yeah?"
"I ain't a chauffeur," the disgruntled co-host grumbled through his teeth, "I sure don't get paid enough to be one, that is. But yeah, I got 'em all in there. Can't say I have very high hopes for 'em, though. You really picked the oddest group this show's ever seen."
"Yeah yeah, that's great and all for you to be concerned, but let's leave all the worry about ratings and popularity to moi, got it? Seriously, if we put you in charge of the show, who knows what sort of foul direction you could take it in. Every single challenge would be a training drill for boot camp!"
Chris continued to snicker at his egotistical brilliance, leaving Chef to simply shake his head in disappointment. The host approached the bus's door, holding his arms behind his back while he eagerly awaited the first of the new bunch to let themselves be known. It didn't take all too long, as a scrawny, non-intimidating boy whistled in a dry tone, taking each step towards the host without a splash of pizazz or funk. He was extraordinarily pale, so much so that the contrast between his skin and his short, black hair was a bit staggering. His eyes were delightfully green, but they managed to avoid direct eye contact with the host, instead focusing at a tree in the distance. He wore a green hoodie, which he tucked his hands into, black, baggy sweatpants, and a pair of black sneakers with white stripes along the sides. Chris looked him up and down, really not thinking much of him from the first impression he was getting. They were about the same height, boringly average, that is, but the boy was a bit scrawnier.
"So, you must be...hang on, let me think about this," the host tapped his chin in thought, noticing a slightly annoyed look growing on the boy's face, although he still avoided direct eye contact with him. "I mean, the shifting gaze makes me certain that you're Richard, Wright?"
"That was really funny, man," Richard let out a dry laugh, clearly unamused by the host's attempt at humor, "Do I just stand off to the side? Or do I have to wait for you to make some more mediocre puns?"
"To be honest, kid, I already forgot who you are. Why don'tcha just go shuffle your butt on over so I can greet the contestants for my show?"
"Somethings just never change, eh?" The boy sighed, walking off to the side while staring down at the ground. Of course, it paved the way for another contestant to make his grand entry. A boy, this one being about half a foot taller than the previous, leapt off of the bus, landing smack dab on the host's foot, causing him to yelp and fall to the muddy ground. This boy was considerably well built, with a decent bit of muscle, but he definitely didn't seem like your regular jock type. He was of Japanese descent, and his hair was black, the messy bangs of it covering his eyes. His attire was the strangest part about him, by a landslide. He had a black tee, one which had an orange, reptilian eyeball on the center of it, and a lightish-blue pair of cargo shorts, but that was far from everything. On his hands, there were gloves, those made to look like dinosaur claws, being blue in color and coated in feathers. On his feet, there were similar claws, being the same blue color with those feathers on them. Lastly, there was an odd sort of helmet he had on, one which seemed to be the head of a tyrannosaurus rex, still, blue in color with feathers, with orange eyes that stared forth. It really looked as if the head was trying to eat his own head.
"You're that Rex Destro, aren't you?" Chris annoyedly asked as he pulled himself back up to his feet, shaking off some of the mud that was clinging to his jacket, "I recognize the get-up from your audition."
"That's right!" Rex beamed with a grin, striking a ferocious pose, "I'm the king of the beasts, a relic from an age long since passed, a fossil that's been brought back with twice the might that it had before it's untimely demise!"
"Right," the host shook his head, soon placing his hand over his face while pointing over to Richard, who was standing all by himself, scuffing his feet against the muddy ground, "Why don't you go stand over by that weirdo, eh? I'm sure you'll be able to entertain yourselves together, at least until I figure out why he's even here."
"You do realize I am a contestant, right?" Richard crossed his arms in defiance, putting on a murky frown.
"Eh, you're not memorable enough for me to have accepted you into this kind of show. Anywho, dino man, go hang out with Mr. Brightside, will ya?"
Rex simply shrugged in response, starting his way on over to the other contestant, although he felt himself overcome by a certain uneasiness as he came closer. He started growling at the boy, as if he were some sort of wild animal, only gaining a sigh from him and a schoolgirl giggle from Chris. Along came the next contestant, who was a girl this time. As she hopped off of the bus, her curly, black hair bounced delightfully. She was as short as could be, only standing at a measly five feet tall, and she was thin to boot, not having much development as far as curves went. Her skin was honey-toned, and her lips were adorned with red lipstick, curling into an innocent seeming smile. Her eyes were quite unique, being brown in color, although there were green spots speckled about them. She had on a pink tee, one which had a white thought bubble graphic on it, deep blue skinny jeans which were cut off right after her knees, and a pair of pink sneakers, which she had added delightful rainbow colored shoelaces to. Her ears were pierced, each having a golden hoop earring that dangled from the lobe.
"Here we go!" Chris let out a sigh of relief upon seeing the girl and her polite smile, "Finally bringing out some contestants that don't look like I'm going to regret my casting decisions! Desiree Hoover, what's shaking? Enjoying being surrounded by people who tower over you like giants?"
"Oh my god, you're so funny, Chris!" Desiree waved the man off as she spoke, her words flying out of her mouth faster than a cheetah in full sprint, "You bringing up my height reminds me of that one show that you were on where you had to stand on a stool because you couldn't measure up to the other actors in it! Bet you didn't know that that little diblet didn't make its way off set, but it sure did! I was totally not trespassing because I was bored, I was simply getting a closer view at the production! That also kind of reminds me about how little you and your team put into the production of this show, letting it be so dangerous for more ratings and stuff! It's super duper cool, I love love love it! You're definitely not breaking any contracts or laws or anything, not one, sir! I mean, you couldn't be, since you always made sure that the contracts had a little tiny blurt about how we can't sue if we get injured and stuff! So cool!"
Chris blankly stared at the girl while she rambled on and on, noticing that both Rex and Richard were now glaring at him with each little piece of information she added to her speech. She tried to go on, but he was quick to cover her mouth with his hand, causing him to look up at him with a confused gaze.
"Alright!" He awkwardly chuckled, tugging the collar of his jacket with his free hand, "Let's save all the fun drama talk for later, alright? Just go mosey on over to the boys, I'm sure they'll both love to hear all that you have to say about...everything."
Desiree nodded her head up and down rapidly, soon turning to face the boys, both of which awkwardly glanced away, Richard whistling to himself while Rex dug at the mud with his claws. Regardless, she still wandered up to the two of them, pulling them both in for a hug, causing Richard to blush while his vacant eyes gazed away from her, and Rex to struggle to pull himself out of her grasp. The next girl swiftly jumped off the bus and tried to spin a little as she landed with a somewhat confident smile. She was far taller than the rest of the group, with the only one close in height being Rex, who she still towered over. She was dressed like the kind of geek you would find at a convention of sorts, but her build suggested that she was no mere geek. She was quite muscular, and her skin was lightly tanned, it honestly seemed like she was the kind of girl to be at the gym at least twice a week. Her hair was long, blonde, and straight. Her eyes were friendly and brown in color. She wore a blue shirt with a superhero's logo on it, black sweatpants that were as baggy as could be, and red running shoes that seemed quite familiar. On her wrist, there was a simple watch, and on her back, a red and gold backpack, which seemed to be quite full.
"Arin Unruh, nice of you to join us supergirl," Chris playfully jabbed at the girl who stood much taller than he did, "I was getting worried our last contestant was too normal!"
"Thanks for the warm introduction Christopher!" Arin beamed with a smile, striking a heroic pose, "Villainy always goes unpunished in these seasons and I'm here to help lift the little guy up!"
Chris couldn't help but roll his eyes at the girl and her heroic bravado. So far, it was four for four on complete and total nutjobs, and it could only remind him of the last time he had a cast almost entirely full of deranged weirdos.
"It's like looking at a reversed Max. Just go stand over with the others," Chris lowered his head as he pointed past himself. Arin smiled and saluted, soon jogging over to join the rest of the group. She smiled and waved, of course, getting a wave back from both Rex and Desiree, while Richard seemed to just blankly stare at her…"features." Chris shook his head at Richard's subtlety, soon earning himself a slap upside the head from his co-host, nearly knocking him to the ground.
"Hey, pay attention, man!" Chef growled at him, crossing his beefy arms.
"Ow, watch it, dude!" Chris rubbed the back of his head as he whined like a child. "Why should I pay attention to them anyways? It's just a bunch of kids! They should be paying attention to moi!" He smirked back at his co-host with an over-the-top smugness.
"You don't get it," Chef shook his head before glancing back at the bus, though the next contestant had yet to show himself, "This kid's the child of some big sports celebrity or something, man."
While they talked amongst themselves, the boy made his way off of the bus. He wasn't tall or beefy, like what one would expect from the child of a sports star, but incredibly scrawny. His skin was espresso toned, and he face bore a smug look on it, one almost equivalent to that of the show's host. His eyes were brown, and they scanned the rest of the contestants who had already made their way off of the bus. His hair was black in color, being cut close to his head with a bit of frizziness to it. He definitely had the sports fan look, at least, wearing a red football jersey with the number "13" and the name "Jackson" plastered on the back of it, a scuffed up pair of brown shorts, and black tennis shoes.
"So, this sorry bunch is supposed to be the competition?" The boy shook his head with a chuckle before raising his glance back up to Chris, revealing a cheeky grin. "Every last one of them is such an obvious threat."
"Huh, you talk pretty big for a shrimpy lil' guy, don't you?" Chris mocked the boy, only to soon find his boney finger poking at his chest. "Hey, lil' man, watch the merchandise. This temple of mine is worth more than you'll be in your entire life."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot that you were the one with the father who has enough money to make any of his son's enemies disappear forever without so much as a picture of them on any major media network. Oho, wait...that would be me, George Jackson, son of the James Jackson." George's grin curled even higher than before, in an effort to intimidate the host, though his hand was simply swatted aside, causing his wrist to sting from the minimal impact.
"Yeah, the funny thing about me is that no amount of cheap intimidation is going to get in my way. And believe me, kid, I've done so much worse than swat your hand away. Now, tuck your tail between your legs and join the other losers, where you belong."
George glared back at the smugness of the host and started towards the other four contestants, being met first by a bright smile from Arin.
"How's it going, Mr. Star Athlete?" the superhero fanatic greeted him, only to be immediately pushed aside as he kept walking past her.
"Just a little note you can jot down, I don't roll with dweebs," he looked back over his shoulder to see a frown forming on her face, "Why don't you go and befriend Barney the Dinosaur or one of the other nerds? I'm sure they'll be more than happy to entertain you." He chuckled to himself as he left her behind, leaving her to sink her head down.
"Well, that wasn't very nice," she mumbled to herself before Desiree rushed up to her, bouncing up and down like a puppy that had just been adopted.
"That's the son of that super famous football player, James Jackson!" The shorter of the two girls happily noted, still speaking her words at lightning speed, "I don't know if you heard about this, but apparently he got caught cheating on his girlfriend with one of the cheerleaders at his school! I guess it's just a rumor, but still super fun to know about! I've heard a lot of things about-"
"H-hey, he may not have given off the nicest first impression, but gossiping isn't really a nice thing to do either. Besides, nasty people eventually get delivered a hot plate of justice. Sweet, sweet justice." Desiree shrugged while she noticed the geekish smile sprouting on Arin's face.
While they chatted among themselves, the next contestant stepped off of the bus, this one looking a lot more intimidating than any of the others that had appeared thus far. Sure, she was only about an inch taller than Chris, but her muscular build ensured that no one would mess with her. Her skin was golden-toned, and her eyes were brown, staring into Chris's very soul. Her hair was dyed a maroon color, being wavy with a good amount of volume to it, though not reaching that much past the start of her neck. Not only were her ears littered with many studded piercings, but she had several others, namely on her left brow, the right side of her nose, and her upper lip. She wore a black tee, which was left exposed by the unzipped maroon jacket that she was wearing, the right sleeve of which wasn't on her shoulder. The tee left her midriff exposed, revealing another piercing on her belly button, and a set of visible abs on her slender figure. She had a pair of dark blue short shorts on and a set of knee-high, black boots, those which were laced all the way up.
"As expected from what I've seen of you on tv, you're really underwhelming, Chris," the snarky girl belittled the host, with only an unimpressed look on her face. "And where the hell are the umbrellas? Are we just supposed to freeze our asses off in the pouring rain?"
"Well, maybe if you didn't dress up like you were working a corner and waiting for some lonely man to pick you up, you wouldn't be so cold," Chris smirked from his own snarkiness, only for the girl to pick him up by the collar of his coat, aiming her fist right at his face and immediately wiping the look off of his face. "I was kidding! I take it from the violent tendencies that you're Lilac Vallades?"
"Mara," she coldly said as she tossed him back to the ground, "You don't know me well enough to call me by my name, nor do I like you enough to let you."
"Using a fake name, ready to punch someone the first time you meet them? You really are the package punk deal, ain't ya? I'm almost willing to bet that you're one of those rebels that hates their parents, too." Chris started to chuckle at his brilliance, but his face was quickly met by her fist, knocking him to the mud and sending him into a daze while Chef laughed at him.
Lilac crossed her arms and began walking to join the others, although she didn't stand particularly close to any of them, instead leaning up against the bus itself. She glanced over at them all with her fearsome eyes, making sure to startle at least Arin, Desiree, and Rex, though George only rolled his own eyes at her. She stuck her tongue out at him, revealing another piercing there before pulling it back into her mouth. Next to her, Richard was smiling at her as he stood quite close to her.
"What… does kissing with that tongue piercing feel like?" He asked like it was an entirely plain conver, hardly noticing the rage building in her expression. "And I gotta say, Chris really has no taste. I think you look smokin'!"
"Listen up, needle neck, I don't play these kinds of games," she shoved the boy back about a foot or so, making it clear that she really wanted nothing to do with him, "I'm here to win, and if you get in my way, I'm gonna burn you like rubber. We'll see who's smokin' then."
"Haha, you're super feisty! I like it, yeah yeah. I always wondered what it would be like to date a girl that looks like she could crush my head like a grape. Especially with her thighs"
"You're just begging to be punched in the face, just like that shrimpy host. Take a hint and back off, lover boy."
While Richard continued to "flirt" with the uninterested girl, Chris was rubbing his sore nose, though still managing to smirk at the sight of the two of them. Suddenly, obnoxiously loud music came from the bus, earning the attention of the host and his compatriot. As they looked back over, they saw a girl with somewhat pale skin walking off of it with her eyes shut. She bobbed her head to the beat of the music, her long hair bouncing as she did so. It was black, with a single red streak going down the middle of it, and done up in a ponytail. She had on a green jacket, one which was zipped up to hide the shirt beneath it, a matching green pair of yoga pants, and black boots. Each of her ears covered by some high end beats headphones, the loud music seemed to come from them.
"Carmen Lopez, welcome!" Chris raised his hand to wave with a smile, but the contestant didn't seem to respond in any way. "Helloooooo?"
Chris waved in front of her face, though her eyes were shut too tight. He snapped his fingers and Chef, as if having been trained to do so, pulled the beats off her head.
"Heyyyyy!" Carmen crossed her arms in annoyance, opening her eyes to reveal that they were a brown color, "Those are mine!"
"Too bad, so sad," Chris said with a cocky smirk, "You'll get 'em back after you mingle with your competitors! It wouldn't be much of a first impression if you spent the whole time listening to music instead of chatting, would it?"
Carmen growled at him, but walked over to the rest of the contestants, nonetheless. She sweetly waved to the lot of them, finding herself being completely ignored by Desiree, who was all too focused on talking her mouth off to Arin. Rex was busy digging around in the dirt with his claws, Lilac simply just nodded as the girl waved, but nothing more than that, and Richard...well, his attention was more so directed to something round that he probably shouldn't have been looking at. Thus, the only person who took much notice of Carmen at all was George, but it was nothing more than a smirk. Just what was it that he had in mind?
Chris grinned as he saw the group of already gathered contestants growing to be a larger number, completely missing the next contestant as she wandered off the bus. Chef had been too busy listening to music with the beats that he took from Carmen, so it went without saying that he didn't catch a glance of the puny girl either. Eventually, the host turned back to face the bus, being taken aback when he finally realized that she was standing right in front of him.
"Ah!" He let out a slight scream as he stumbled backwards, but soon cleared his throat and fixed his posture upon noticing that the other contestants were watching him, "Hey, you're that Mitsuki Mani, right?"
"Y-y-y-y-yeah...h-h-h-h-hi," she waved a little at the host, though her gaze was fixed to the ground. Her skin was deathly pale, and she was frighteningly skinny, to the point that it managed to worry even Chris. She had black hair that went well past her shoulders to the middle of her back, and her bangs were swept to the right, covering that eye entirely. The one, black-colored eye that was visible looked sunken and had bags under them. She was wearing a very concealing yellow dress with black leggings and sleeves. She also had a pair of black dress shoes, they were truly quite tiny, just like her. Chris rubbed the back of his head while standing in the awkward silence.
"Well, uh, I guess go join the others," the host broke the silence with an unenthusiastic tone, "You shy types aren't really all that fun. At least at the start."
Chris gestured to the rest of the group, trying to get her out of his hair as quickly as possible. Mitsuki looked up to them and quietly walked over, not making eye contact with any of them. She ended up wandering over to George, blushing as she stood. She looked up to him and waved, but only got a scoff from him in return. He quickly walked away from her, standing off to the side again and leaving her alone with her thoughts.
"That boy," she thought to herself, the voice in her head being far louder and more confident sounding than her regular voice, "He had to walk away from me because he was nervous, right? He was so handsome! I can't let some bimbo come and snatch him up!"
Mitsuki awkwardly shuffled her way back over to George, who could only muster a drawn out sigh as he noticed her. She tapped her index fingers together, blushing while still not fully looking up at him.
"Do you have something to say?" He annoyedly asked the meek girl, crossing his arms and tapping his foot, "I don't have all day to sit and wait for whatever it is, so you'd better spit it out."
"O-o-o-o-oh," she peeped like a newborn chick, blushing even harder when he spoke to her, "U-u-u-u-uhm...I-I-I-I-I…"
"Forget it, I don't have the patience for your antics." The boy turned away from her, causing some slight confusion for her. Meanwhile, the next contestant made her way off of the bus, bearing a confidence that none of the others had about them. Her skin was very lightly tanned and her eyes were a very striking green color. Her hair was a medium brown color, being wavy and flowing down just past her shoulders. Her lips were complimented by a bright red lipstick, the kind that some sort of temptress would wear on her own. She wore a pink sweater that fit to her form well, really accenting her bust and waist, a pair of light tan khaki pants, and black loafers. Each of her ears had a pearl dangling from the lobe, and the left one had some sort of wireless mic in it. Chris eyed her up and down, grinning in doing so.
"Well, well, a beauty like you has just gotta be Renee James," he noted, "Gotta say, you look a lot better in person than in your...er...promo photos?"
"Just goes to show that my products will show up looking even better than you expect them to!" Renee let out a short burst of laughter, but soon hijacked the main camera, pulling out a bottle of cleaning liquid and holding it in center view. "Hi there, folks, Renee James here with the brand new cleaning juice from Brysol! Just one spray-" she quickly spritzed some of the mud on the ground, pulling out a rag and wiping the spot to reveal a shiny, metallic surface underneath, "-and all your dirty worries will wash away! It's just three easy payments of- wah!"
"No advertising on my time!" Chris shouted before shoving her towards the rest of the group. She bumped into Rex, knocking him down and causing him to hiss at her in response. She quickly leapt up from the ground, spraying the now dirty parts of her clothing and wiping them off with her rag, revealing them to be completely clean again.
"Huh, that stuff really works," Arin mumbled to Desiree, which, in hindsight, was probably a bad idea, because-
"Oh, yeah!" The blabbermouth piped up immediately on cue, "There was this one time that Brysol sold a cleaner that didn't do as advertised and they got sued for a whole lot of money! Funny thing about that cleaner, it actually made people's spines melt! They tried to keep it super hush hush for some reason, I don't really get it though!"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Renee rushed on over to the much shorter girl, giving her a noogie and dizzying her quite a bit, "Let's not talk about that incident too much, now! Here! If you shut your yap right now, I'll throw in a free Reddy Rag with your cleaner! Brysol is not responsible for any permanent skin rash that use of this cleaner may cause, nor will they be responsible for reimbursing anyone who gets said rash. Anyone's skin turning to butter from contact with the Reddy Rag is also not our liability. Upon this purchase, you are aware of these legalities and may not sue or ask for reimbursement, no matter what the situation. Thank you for your continued patronage!"
"U-uh, I-I think Desiree and I are fine without one of those rags…" Arin smiled awkwardly at the spokeswoman.
"Your loss," Renee grumbled before moving away from the two, choosing to stand near George and Mitsuki instead. George looked at her and couldn't help but smirk to himself. Mitsuki immediately noticed the smirk on his face and what it meant.
"This bimbo is already making a move on him!" Mitsuki moved closer to George, causing him to glare at her and quickly move away from her and Renee, which brought a tiny little smirk to her face. It wasn't long before the next contestant came along off the bus, another boy this time. He was of an average height, but he looked a little shrimpy at a glance. His skin was quite fair, and his eyes were a glistening light blue color. His hair was blonde in color, being a bit of a messy, unkempt do. He had an uneasy look on his face, and it seemed like he would pass out at any given moment. He wore a light green, turtle neck, long-sleeved shirt, one that was a little bit too baggy and probably made him seem like he was more frail than he truly was. His slacks were a dark brown color, with a black belt holding them up, and again, quite baggy, while he had on some simple black dress shoes. Draped over his left shoulder was a raggedy looking sack of some sort, it was really quite full, but of what?
"Let me see here," Chris tapped his finger against his chin in thought and narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Baggy clothes, wimpy posture, looks like he's about to throw up- you're Henry Yates! Welcome to your own personal hell for the next few weeks, dude!"
"A-ah, yes, quite," the boy's voice was strangely deep, all things considered. He looked quite terrified of everything that was going on around him, and just the sight of his fright made Chris chuckle. "A-am I supposed to join the others over there in that...g-group?"
"You got it, chief! Try not to piss yourself on the way over there, alright?" Chris continued to snicker before Chef shoved the shrimpy boy to the rest of the group, causing him to stumble into the much taller Arin, who happily caught him before he fell to the ground. He glanced up at her after she did so, noticing the kind smile on her face.
"Careful where you're walking, I would feel bad letting someone just fall on their face when it can be avoided!" The tone of her voice was that of some sort of stoic superhero. As she looked down at him, she noticed that he was flushed with red. "Oh dear, are you okay?"
"B-b-b-b-b-big lady!" Those were the only two words he could muster up, causing some of the other contestants to snicker at the two of them. Arin blushed and pulled him back to his feet, shuffling back over to Desiree, who had an interested smile on her face.
"Do you think he gets out much, or do you think he might've been interested in the fact you're so tall? Do you like short guys!? Oh my god, you two would look so cute together! I can already imagine the wedding! 'Here comes the bride, here comes the-'" Desiree was quickly cut off by her embarrassed friend shushing her.
"Desiree!" Arin looked around her to see that even more people were laughing at her than before. "Y-you can't just say stuff like that, I don't even know this guy! That's so embarrassing!"
Desiree kept winking at the girl, only making the embarrassment worse while the next contestant made his grand entrance. Out from the bus came a surprisingly short man with dark tanned skin and an even more surprising lack of hair, give for his incredibly bushy, blonde eyebrows. His eyes were brown in color, and they held a certain craziness, yet, pride in their gaze. However, his attire was just as strange, if not even more strange than the rest of him. All he had on was a red jacket, green leggings, and white socks with black sandals, but all over the outfit were stickers of planets and ray guns. Around his neck he had a large silver ring...for whatever reason. Chris and Chef covered their mouths to muffle their inevitable laughter.
"I-I'm guessing you're...Marlin T our resident martian?" The host could hardly contain himself upon noticing that the boy had a ray gun in hand, and was aiming it at his face.
"No one laughs at the martians!" Marlin responded in an arrogant tone, pulling the trigger on his ray gun and causing it to flash some bright colors and make strange sounds, although it didn't really do anything. "Haha! Our superior technology at its finest! In exactly five seconds, you'll turn into a pile of goop! Five...four...three...two...one!" Chris glanced down at himself to see that he was perfectly fine, much to the "alien's" disappointment. "W-well, clearly I just need to reconfigure some settings on this!"
"Right, dude. While you do that, why don't you go and say hi to the other freaks of nature over there, eh?" Chris gestured to the other contestants, many of which were looking at Marlin as if he were the strangest person they had ever seen in their life, all except for Rex, who was hardly paying attention to him. The boy's eyes lit up and he marched on over to the dinosaur enthusiast, tapping him on the shoulder to gain his attention.
"Haha! You're a fool for obsessing over such pitiful beasts!" Marlin commented snidely, bearing a prideful smile as the boy stood from the mud to look down at him. "My ancestors turned their entire race into bones with one large rock! Hardly something to idolize when they were so frail!"
Rex was quick to bonk the bald boy on the head with his clawed hand, dazing him and causing him to stumble into the mud. Lilac snickered at the sight of it before noticing that Richard was staring at her chest, and thus, she did the exact same thing to him. Richard groaned as he held his head. "W-what did I do?" He grumbled slightly, pulling himself back up to his feet. "You're the one making it difficult to focus!"
"Keep focusing on those and you're gonna wind up in a hospital bed," she replied with a hiss, though it still didn't deter him.
"Well, as long as you visit me that doesn't sound too bad. Especially if you got to wear a nurse outfit!" He chuckled to himself a bit before ultimately feeling her hammer of a fist drop down on his skull again, knocking him right back to the ground. The group was getting quite full at this point, but there were still more coming. The next contestant was another girl, this one immediately catching the gaze of pretty much everyone. She was tall...really tall, even standing higher that Arin did, and she was well-toned. Her skin was a gorgeous ebony, and her eyes were hazel, each one of them sparkling with excitement. Her hair was cut short and dyed a light purple color, being just a bit of a mess. She had a pair of goggles around her neck, the lenses of them covered in a film of dirt which she was quick to wipe off with her hands, which had some heavy duty, leather gloves on them. She had an orange tank top on, one that had many dirt stains on it, and was being stretched out by her bust, a pair of tan cargo pants, with just as many dirt stains scattered on it, black, rubber work boots, and a black utility belt, one that had many excavating supplies on it.
"Hey, if it isn't the lovely Honey Baja!" Chris greeted her with a grin, glancing over at the contestants to see that many of the boys were staring at her with their jaws dropped. "Looks like you've already got a fan...or three, or five. I'd say you're gonna have a pretty fun time here from that alone."
"Eh?" She brought her finger up to her lip in confusion, "Why would I have a fan? It's pouring outside! I need a jacket, if anything!"
"Oh...you're quite the special girl, aren't you? Well, no one said you need to have a big brain to win this game, heh. Go on over with the others, we've only got two more of you goons before we get down to business." Chris snickered as Honey happily skipped over to the others, waving both of her arms at them excitedly. While the boy's were clearly obsessing over her for one reason, Mitsuki's jaw seemed to have dropped for a slightly similar reason.
"What the hell is this girl supposed to be!? How am I supposed to compete with jumbo melons like those!? They've gotta be fake, there's no way she just has them naturally!" Her inner voice sounded quite intimidated by the oblivious girl. As she came closer and closer to the group, Mitsuki feared what may happen if she got too close to George, and she stuck out her leg to trip her, though instead of falling into the dirt, she used her hands to catch herself, causing her tank top to drape over her face, showing just her white bra underneath. Mitsuki saw the bra and her face slowly sunk into a frown, and she meandered towards Rex to play in the dirt with him, looking like her soul had been ripped out. "Curse that big-boobed bimbo bitch…"
Richard was quick to come over and help her up. "Be more careful...I mean, unless you don't want to, that is. I have nothing against seeing you trip like that again." Honey just smiled at him as she pulled her tank top back down. She gave him a warm, kind smile and giggled.
"Hey thanks! I don't know why I tripped over myself like that!" She dusted herself off, leaning forward a bit and letting Richard more than see all he wanted to as he looked down at her cleavage. Eventually, Lilac had to come around and drag Richard away from her.
"Oh, did you miss me?" Richard smirked over to her before she smacked him across the face. With an annoyed expression.
"No, I just know no one else is gonna stop you from being a pain in the ass!" Lilac growled at him, only getting a flirty growl back in response. Chris slowly shook his head at the two.
"Young love. Always so...violent." He snickered to himself as Chef smirked back to him.
"I'm sure it makes you feel better knowing no one is romantically interested in you," the co-host mentioned while nudging Chris with his elbow, only gaining a glare in response. It was then that two more contestants found themselves wedged against each other in the bus's doorway, each fighting to get through before the other, but finding it impossible.
"I got first dibs on getting out of the door!" One of them mentioned in a low, grumbly voice. He wasn't very tall, yet he was at least taller than some like Desiree and Marlin. He was quite rotund, as well, being almost entirely circular in shape. He had dark-colored skin, which contrasted his outfit quite a bit. His face was wide, almost square-like in shape, and he had a large, round nose on it. His eyes seemed crazy, with the black irises being as small as could be. He had some stubble on his upper lip, which was black in color, and bushy, black eyebrows. The rest of him was covered by a full yellow bodysuit, one which he had nothing but a purple baseball cap on top of.
"You can't call dibs on something like that!" The second boy growled back at him, trying to shove him aside. This boy was perhaps the exact opposite of the one before him. For instance, he was phenomenally tall, but he was built like a stick bug, his arms and legs being long and skinny on his thin body. His skin was a snowy white color, and his black hair contrasted it greatly. His eyes were purple, and he had a more pointy nose than his compatriot. On his upper lip, there was a thin, pointed mustache. His hair was cut neatly short with lean sides, and it seemed to be firmly gelled into place. He wore a light purple dress shirt, one which had the top two buttons undone, black dress pants, a black belt holding them up, and black dress shoes. "Besides, I saw something shiny on the ground! I need it!"
"Wallace Porter and Wane...Wane...uh...help me out here, dude," Chris had a puzzled look on his face as the two finally burst from the bus, landing on the ground near the spot that Renee had cleaned with her product. He watched as they both tried to scrape it up off the ground, only to find that it wasn't actually anything at all. They both pulled themselves up with disappointed looks on their faces, but neither of them spoke a word to Chris, simply choosing to sadly walk over to the other contestants. In doing so, Wallace, the taller of the two, noticed the Reddy Rag hanging out of Renee's back pocket, and quickly snatched it from her, his eyes sparkling as he rubbed it against his face.
"I found something good, I found something great! Oh, my sweet precious- oowah!" He yelped in pain, suddenly dropping the rag to the ground to reveal that his cheek was suddenly very buttery in texture. Wane was quick to snatch up the same rag, although instead of cherishing it like Wallace, he simply ate it, letting out a loud belch afterwards. "Wane, you bastard! That was mine, fair and square!"
"You can have it back in a few hours if you still want it," Wane replied with a gritty laugh, though he soon belched again, and the rag flew out of his mouth, only for Renee to snatch it back and clean it off with her cleaning liquid. "Give that back, lady!"
"Ah ah ah! You can only get a Reddy Rag with select purchases of Brysol products! Note, eating the Reddy Rag may cause several horrible degrees of cirrhosis; Brysol is again not responsible for any damages caused by this. So, wanna buy one-" Renee cut herself off after realizing that neither of the boys were paying attention to her anymore. "Tough crowd."
Wane was now trying to steal Lilac's belly button ring, since he saw the shine from over where Renee was, silently heading towards her in a trance. Lilac glared down at him, obviously not amused at the idea of there being two Richard's in the cast. "Do I need to break your spine like that other creep's?"
"Alright, alright, let's all just take a step back so I can explain the game, people!" Chris interrupted the short-tempered girl's rage as he stepped towards the group, Chef following close behind. "Most of you came here for a variety of reasons. Some want money," Wane and Wallace grinned and rubbed their hands together evilly when they heard the host say the "M" word. "Some wanted a good way to boost their confidence," Henry whimpered upon hearing Chris say those words, and shuffled behind Rex and Marlin. "And some may be here as a way to serve their prison sentences."
"Oh, piss off!" Lilac piped up, a vein swelling on her forehead from the anger of being called out like that. "Stealing food shouldn't be a crime! You'd do the same if you were-"
"Yeah, yeah, if I were stuck in your shoes, booooooring. Whatever the case is, you are all here for something, and we're gonna make sure that you entertain us good and well while you're stuck with us. Now, a lot of things are different about this new setting, but one thing that we brought along with us is the good ol' confessional booth!" Chris gestured off to the side of the main gate, revealing that the confessional was right there, flies swarming around it per the usual.
Confessional
"Ah, geez, this thing stinks way worse than you'd think it does," Arin noted as she pinched her nose shut. "Anyways, there's some serious bad juju going around with some of these guys, which can only mean one thing...there's evil afoot!"
"I can't believe that stupid Chris had Chef take away my music!" Carmen pouted, slouching back in the booth. "It's not fair! If I don't get my music back soon...well, I don't know what'll happen!"
"Surely with my advanced martian technology, I could win any contest like this in a flash!' Marlin boasted a prideful grin while playing around with his ray gun. "I-I just choose to let things play out normally cause there's no fun in winning immediately! Yeah, that's it!"
"This confessional sure is nasty, isn't it?" Renee asked the camera before holding up her cleaning liquid and the Reddy Rag again, starting to get to work on cleaning it, only to be yanked out by Chef.
Confessional End
"No cleaning the confessional, you're gonna kill the atmosphere!" Chris gritted his teeth at the girl, who simply put on a grin in response. Chef tossed her back to the other thirteen, soon pulling out a carton of fourteen eggs. "Now, naturally we need to form some teams before we can really get down to business, so here's how this is gonna go. Seven of these are just regular, store bought eggs, though they may or may not be spoiled. The other seven are false eggs, each of them filled to the brim of the shell with mucus! Chef's gonna pelt you guys with one each; everyone covered in egg will be on team A, while everyone covered in mucus will be on team B. Make sense to everybody? Oh, and I would definitely expect a welt to form, dude's got a killer throwing arm!"
Chef snickered at the group, many of which appeared frightened while some didn't seem to care all too much, or were just annoyed. One by one, he launched the eggs at them, causing a chorale of pained screams to erupt from them. Lilac's shell cracked right on her forehead, revealing that it was, in fact, a real egg, as her seething rage started to cook it. Richard had the splatter of an egg, just like Lilac's, as he stood next to her. "Guess we're on the same team…" He noticed the yolk slowly seep down her forehead. "Do you want me to lick that off for you?" His question was swiftly answered with a punch to his cheek, knocking him to the ground for the millionth time.
Renee had a cracked shell on her sweater, with a green ooze splattering all about, but only for a mere moment, as she swiftly cleaned it up with her products. She smiled at her genius, only to be struck by another egg, this one being twice the size with twice as much mucus in it. She gasped as it struck her, looking over to see Chef with a backup carton, this one with many of the larger eggs. "Yeah, I'd leave that there if you don't wanna get pelted with even more of them. It's always great to have backups!" Chris snickered at his brilliance, high fiving his co-host while doing so.
Arin and Desiree each found themselves with the same green ooze issue, the former having been struck in the middle of her gut while the latter had the splatter in her hair. The talkative one glanced over at her friend to see that she had been hit by the same type of egg, and grinned brightly at her, only gaining an awkward smile back from her. Nearby them was Carmen, who had a regular egg cracked on her left knee, which she was holding in pain. "First they take my music, then they throw an egg at me! How could this get any worse?"
"You must not watch this show much. On Mars we have terrible reception but even I know you shouldn't ask such obviously dumb questions!" Marlin quickly reprimanded her, revealing a normal cracked egg on top of his shiny, bald head. Rex stood behind him, looking down at his shirt to see that a regular egg was cracked right on the dinosaur eye, much to his dismay. He let out a sigh, gaining Marlin's attention. "See, even an egg knows that dinosaurs are lame!"
Off to the side, George glared at the hosts while that green slime dripped down from his cheek, some of it landing on Mitsuki's head. Her egg had struck her right on the shoulder, revealing it to have been a mucus filled egg as well. She weakly smiled up at the boy next to her, who could only roll his eyes and sigh. "Guess I'm stuck with you, then."
"Y-y-y-you with m-m-me… I-I-I wonder w-w-what we'll g-get up to…" The small girl blushed a bit while her newly announced teammates slapped his palm against his own face. Honey wasn't too far off from them, and she was looking down at her chest, noticing that her egg, a regular one, had cracked right in between her cleavage. Mitsuki noticed this as well, gritting her teeth at the sight.
"O-ow," Henry groaned from where he was now laying on the ground, only pulling himself up to sit down, showing that a normal egg cracked right smack dab on his nose. This only left Wallace and Wane...yet, both of them seemed to be untouched by the eggs that flew their way. Chef noticed this and launched another pair of them at the boys, only for Wallace to snatch his out of the air and tuck it into his pocket, while Wane just opened his mouth wide and swallowed it whole. The burly co-host continued to launch more and more eggs at them, but it was no use, as he eventually ran out.
"Alright...well, since we have no more eggs to throw, and team A already has seven people while team B has five, I guess you two are on team B." Chris sighed in annoyance, but he shook it off and cleared his throat. "Team A! Lilac, Richard, Carmen, Marlin, Rex, Honey, and Henry! You guys are gonna be known as...the Psychotic Seagulls!" A light blue medallion flashed on the screen, one that had a seagull with really buggy eyes on it. "And team B! Renee, Arin, Desiree, George, Mitsuki, Wallace, and Wane! You'll be called...the Freakish Frogs!" This time, a light green medallion flashed on the screen, one that had a frog with a toothy grin on it.
"Well, at least we know who our team mascot is," George smirked to himself as he slightly glanced down at Mitsuki. "Yea, no, that's basically the perfect fit." Mitsuki had a wide grin, not interpreting his snark as a mean comment or anything of the sort.
Chris cleared his throat to get all eyes back on himself. "While I love all of your banter, we've got our first challenge to get to!"
"Y-you're throwing us into a challenge already? We haven't even gotten to see our rooms yet!" Henry whined, only to have the empty egg carton tossed at his face, courtesy of Chef.
Chris walked towards the gate and slowly opened it, having to use all the force in his body to do so. "Yes, yes, I bet you're all wondering why we haven't even walked into our season's location yet. Well...say hello to Canada's last nut house, kiddies!"
"I think they prefer it to be called a mental hospital!" Arin quickly spoke up with some annoyance at the host's speech pattern.
"Who cares what they call it?" The host quickly countered, "All that matters to me is whoever finds a way into that looney bin first. Because the first team to make an entrance wins the season's first challenge! You've got all the time in the world to do it, but I'd get on it now if you don't wanna have to eliminate someone tonight!" The group could only gasp in fear while their devious host laughed maniacally. "Well, folks, have at it!"
Confessional
"I feel like everybody likes me already! They're all smiling really big smiles whenever they look at me!" Honey was happy to announce how she was feeling, as seen by the enormous smile on her own face. "Well, at least most of the boys are! I did notice that one girl seemed pretty mad at me, but maybe I'm just thinking about it too much."
"I already love my team," Richard smiled to himself. "It sucks that that Renee girl is on the other side, but hey, I still have Lilac and Honey on my team. I always love fiesty girls, and Honey just has...a winning personality. Yea, that's it. I hope I at least get with one of them before I go home early. I mean, imagine bringing one of them home!"
"Of course, they stick me on the team with the pervert," Lilac scoffed. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'll make sure that he starts treating me with more respect soon enough." She grinned as she cracked her knuckles. "You can bet on that!"
Confessional End
The two teams were quick to get to work, all of them rushing up to the large set of front doors to the building. Lilac grabbed the handles, trying to tug them open, but it was to no avail. "Of course, they're locked," she grumbled to herself, scuffing the ground with her shoe only for Marlin to waggle his finger at her with a grin on his face.
"You're typically brutish human methods won't work on something like this, can't you see?" The girl glared at the odd-looking boy as he talked down to her, just like he had been doing to everyone else thus far. "No, this calls for some superior martian technology, I tell you!" He quickly turned his back to his team, emptying his pockets of many different electronic parts. Honey stared down at where they were laying in the mud with a confused gaze, tapping Marlin on the shoulder. "Yes, yes, what is it, human girl?"
"What's all that stuff for?" She innocently asked, her eyes glistening with interest.
"Why, it's obviously a bunch of components! I will simply use these here to fashion a good ol' death laser, which'll blast a hole straight through the door so we can get through!" Marlin laughed snidely, all too proud of himself while failing to see the main issue. "As I've said, martian technology is far greater than anything that silly humans could conjure up!"
"Oh, I see, I see...but is it really okay to put all that electronic stuff in the mud like that? I thought that stuff breaks when it gets wet?" The martian boy's eyes widened while he heard Honey's questions, causing Lilac to snicker at him nearby.
"N-none the matter!" He quickly scooped the parts back up from the mud, blowing on them ferociously to get some of the grime off. "It'll still work just fine, of course! I just need some help from you two underdeveloped humans with holding parts for me."
"For your sake, I sure hope this works," Lilac mentioned as she approached him with a smirk. "I don't think most of the team will take too kindly to losing the first challenge because of you, eh?" Marlin could only gulp nervously while her and Honey started to pick up some of the other pieces.
"Hey Honey, do you wanna split off and find another way in?" Richard smirked a little at Honey, seeing as Lilac was busy with whatever it was that Marlin was doing. "You know, just me and you, working together, working hard. Whaddya say?"
"Oh, well, if you want me to help you, I'm sure I've got some time to spare!" The messy girl smiled brightly, dropping the parts back into the mud and starting towards Richard, only to hear a sudden shout from the overconfident martian.
"Excuse you, sir!" Marlin stomped over towards Richard, fumbling all the pieces in his hands and accidentally dropping them into the mud. Embarrassed, he soon picked them all back up, shooting an annoyed glare at his teammate. "If you can't tell, I'm trying to use these two buffoons to win this challenge for us! So, I'll kindly ask you to leave this mole person to me and go on about your business! Perhaps you can figure something out with the shy boy and the dancing queen?"
"Why don't you use dinosaur boy? It's not like you need Honey, either. Besides, I could probably use her better than you, like getting her to dig under or through the asylum. Already a slightly better plan than making a ray gun." Richard smirked at his own bravado upon noticing that Lilac was chuckling a little, though she stopped and glared when she saw the smile on his face.
"The dinosaur!?" Marlin burst out into laughter, hunching over a bit to express just how ridiculous he thought that to be. "Surely you don't mean that one over there?" The boy gestured to the doors where Henry and Carmen were standing off to the side, watching Rex repeatedly bash his own head against them.
"U-uh...Rex, I don't know if-" Henry was quickly cut off by another loud, rumbling thud from Rex hitting the door, causing him to shudder a little. "I mean, t-there's gotta be a better way than-" Again, a loud thud when Rex hit the door, making him shake even more. "Can't we just-" Another thud sounded, but this time, Carmen rushed over to the dinosaur boy to grab him by the shoulders, shaking him violently.
"You're gonna crack your skull like one of those eggs, dino boy!" Henry nodded at the girl's statement, only for Rex to give her a thumb's- well, dino claw's up, smiling to reveal that he had already lost a few teeth from all the skull bashing. She sighed and dropped him down to the mud, shaking her head disappointedly. Richard cringed at the sight, looking back over at the prideful Marlin.
"So, as you can see, I have no use for him. Toodaloo, chop chop, skedaddle, whatever it is that you humans say to get each other to scram! I've got this challenge to win, and you're being a nuisance." Richard just smirked as he grabbed Honey's hand and started walking off with her, completely ignoring Marlin. "You fiend!"
"Guess you're stuck with me, huh?" Lilac snickered as she placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "If I were you, I'd get to working on that laser now." He could only turn to face the camera with fearful eyes before they walked off to the side, starting the build.
Meanwhile, the Frogs were working on their own plans to get in, although it was a bit difficult, what with the numerous chaotic members of the team. George initially planned to get some assistance from Renee, but the second he started towards her, he was blocked off by Mitsuki, who meekly shuffled in front of him. He glared down at her, stepping to the side and starting to walk again, only for her to do the exact same thing. He let out an annoyed laugh, rubbing his brow with his hand. "Listen up, Mitsuki, right?" She very weakly nodded at him, "Great, look here, you see Lady Cleaning Products over there? Well, we need her 'acid-in-a-bottle' to get through that big door over there, 'kay? Can't really ask her for help if you keep getting in my way like this." He tried to walk around her again but she ended up clinging to his arm. "Ok, that's it," he lowly growled, "Mitsuki, if you find a way into the asylum I'll give you a big prize"
"B-b-big pr-prize?" She blushed a little bit, her inner voice going rampant in her head. "He must mean…! Mitsuki, you need to find a way into that man- I mean mansion!" And with that, she let go of his arm, awkwardly wandering towards the doors, tapping them with her finger, somehow chipping her nail in the process. She looked down at it, tears forming in her eyes, yet, she still glanced back to George and gave him a thumb's up. "This stupid door! I'm gonna tear it down like a revolutionary tears down a wall! Mark my words, door, your days are numbered!"
Wane and Wallace in the meantime were basically window shopping as they stared inside through some windows. "Why isn't there anything shiny inside!?" Wane groaned, just seeing a broken room with pieces of a chair flung around the room. Wallace pulled out a small pair of binoculars from his pocket, looking around to see if there was something just out of sight, though it wasn't long before Wane snatched them from him, swallowing them whole. The taller boy gasped, elbowing his shorter partner in the gut and causing him to spit them up back into his hands.
"We've gone over this before, anything that I nab, you have to keep that gaping maw of yours off of it! Seriously, I don't understand how you could possibly want to eat such delightful little trinkets." Wane simply shrugged in response, causing Wallace to sigh.
Confessional
"The real funny thing about all of this is that me and Wane didn't even know each other before we got on that prison bus!" Wallace snickered while admiring a shiny set of keys, jiggling them here and there and grinning at the sparkle. "But, it's like we have this weird connection! Maybe it's just the love for all things...huhu...shiny!"
Wane belched loudly, a doorknob flying out of his mouth, only for him to snatch it from the air and toss it back into his mouth, swallowing it whole, once again. He smacked his round belly with a crocodile grin.
Confessional End
Arin stalked the perimeter of the massive building, tapping her fist against the windows as if trying to find a weak point in them while Desiree trailed behind her. The shorter of the two girls was humming an obnoxious tune, one which Arin was clearly not fond of, but she was far too nice to say something. Eventually, upon knocking on one of the windows, it made a slight cracking noise, bringing a big smile to her face. "Well, would you look at that! Looks like this building is so old that some of the windows are starting to give. Let me see here, it should just take one good Pand- ah! I mean, one good punch! Yeah!"
Desiree cocked an eyebrow, having heard Arin fumble over her words there, though the supergirl had already started winding up her punch. She let her fist fly into the window, causing a shattering noise and a thud. Arin's eyes widened and she pulled her fist back, clutching it in pain. Desiree glanced over at the window, noticing that there was a second panel of glass behind the first, shattered one. Chris snickered, approaching the two of them while clapping his hands. "Nice job, Arin! You got through one layer of the glass! Remember, this was a looney bin in its day, who knows how reinforced the glass is? They needed to keep those crazies in, after all!"
Arin glared at the host as he walked away from her and her friend, shaking her hand off at the same time. Desiree's curiosity was getting the best of her, and she couldn't help but ask some hard hitting questions. "Arin, Arin, Arin! What was that all about?"
"What was that all about?" The ever-curious girl asked with a devious grin on her face, causing Arin to sweat nervously. "You know, before you said punch, you said 'Pand.' That hardly sounds like the word punch to me. Sounds like something I totally need to know! Lemme know, lemme know!"
"A-ah well you see...I...uh...thought I saw a Panda inside the building! It threw me off my groove, cause, I mean, why would a panda be in a mental hospital like this, right? Haha, i-it was actually just...uh...that door over there!" Arin pointed through the window at a door in the building, one which had splotches of white and black on it. Desiree crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Arin, clearly not having it. "U-uh, would you look at the time! I gotta...be somewhere else!" And with that, she dashed past her friend, causing her to spin around in circles like a tornado just struck. When she eventually stopped spinning, she scanned the area to find where Arin had gone, but she was completely out of sight.
Confessional
"Arin is totally hiding something from me, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is." Desiree stroked her chin as she kicked back, thinking very hard about what could possibly be so important as to hide it from her. "Well, whatever it is, I'm gonna get to the bottom of it! Look out, Arin, cause Desiree Hoover's onto you!"
Confessional End
Richard was walking alongside Honey, silently staring towards her as she had a skip to her step...which resulted in every weeb's favorite part of an anime. Richard couldn't help himself, finding a smirk growing on his face. "You're a pretty helpful partner..."
Honey turned to him with a wide grin. "Well, thanks Richard! I'm happy you like my help so much!" She had the largest, most wholesome smile on her face. "But...didn't you want me to do something?"
"Oh, right! I had almost forgotten that part." Richard walked up to one of the walls of the asylum. "Do you think you can dig through here?" Honey looked at the ground and smiled to herself as she got on the ground and started quickly digging into the ground. Richard smiled down at the sight of her digging as she waved her backside from side to side, humming a small tune.
Honey continued to dig, dig, dig, however she eventually reached a hard stone wall. She frowned as she tried digging through it but her hands and tools weren't nearly strong enough. She pulled her upper body out of the ground and turned to Richard. "It didn't work, there's… a really hard rock in my way! I hate when that happens!"
Richard scratched his chin as he looked over the building, "Well…" He saw a glass window up further in the building. "Well, maybe I can lift you up and you can use a tool to break that window open for us"
Honey smiled, "That's genius! But how will we get up there?"
Richard smirked as he crouched down, "I'll just push you up with all the strength my body composes."
Honey smiled and nodded her head, "Sounds genius!" She moved over a bit, not sure how he was gonna do it before Richard basically moved under her to push her up. She was surprised and smiled. "Wow you're really strong!" She gushed a little before pulling out her digging gear and started getting to work on chiseling through the hard glass. Richard was just smiling at his position, even if his hands we're getting wobbly. Honey made a hole through the first layer of glass, finding the second layer and quickly getting to work on it. However, Richard couldn't keep her up and collapsed under the weight with a groan.
Richard slowly opened his eyes and looked up to see Honey had fallen down directly onto his face with a small thud. "Oh, sorry Rich!"
"N-no… I-I couldn't hold you up," Richard murmured. Honey was about to get up for another go when he raised his hand. "I-I might need a short rest...no need to get up yet."
Confessional
"I'm a simple man with very simple needs," Richard mentioned as he rubbed his sore nose, a cheesy grin plastered on his face. "Let's just say that some smokin' babe's ass in my face doesn't worry me all too much. Even if she did maybe break my nose."
Confessional End
Most of the contestants had preoccupied themselves in trying to find a way in, but Henry and Carmen found themselves at a bit of a loss as the brawn of their little group, Rex, had knocked himself out cold by crashing against the door too many times. Carmen paced back and forth, racking her brain for a way into the building. "Ugh, this would be a lot less painful on my brain if I still had my music!" She started to whine, soon turning to look over at Henry, who was staring down at the doorknob and scratching his chin. "You have any bright ideas, shy guy?"
"A-ah, well," he rubbed the back of his head, blushing while she talked to him. "I mean, I could see if I could maybe pick the lock or something...but I can't promise that i-it'll work."
"Still, it's worth a shot. But what are you gonna use to do that? You didn't bring a lockpicking kit with you, right? That would be concerning...I'd be worried you'd try to break into my room at night."
"N-no, I would never! And I don't need a lockpicking kit, th-those are for amateurs!" Henry reached into his bag, pulling out a sewing needle, one which had a long, blue thread running through the eye of it. He leaned down to stare down the keyhole, poking the needle into it and fiddling around a bit. "Hang on, I think it's coming pretty close here."
"No way! You can do this, Henry!" Carmen's attitude had changed entirely, being far more positive than before. She rushed over to watch what he was doing, cheering him on like his own personal cheerleader. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead as he felt the tension rising, and just as it seemed he was about to finish picking the lock, something thudded against the door, causing his needle to slip through the keyhole, string and all with it. He and Carmen glanced over to see that Rex had attempted to bash the door down again, as he was now wobbling backwards. "Rex!" Carmen stomped towards the dinosaur-loving boy angrily, her face growing more and more red by the second. "He almost had the door opened, why would you do that!?"
"D-dinosaurs don't think, they just charge headfirst into adversity!" The boy nervously chuckled, only for her to slap him across the face, knocking him out once again. She walked back over to Henry, who was looking down at the ground as if he had failed miserably.
"I'm really in for it now...I can't believe I screwed a challenge up already. My time here is over, oh woe is me...I'm done for. Y-you guys are probably gonna eliminate me for being so useless, I just know it." His eyes welled up with tears, bringing a confused look to Carmen's face.
"Uh...there, there?" She patted him on the back, trying to calm him down a bit. "You didn't screw this one for us, it was the prehistoric buffoon over there. No need to cry about it, right?" Henry sniffled, glancing over at Carmen to reveal the miserable expression he had on. "Oh boy, you've really got some self worth issues, don'tcha?" He nodded slowly as he looked away, whimpering to himself. "Ah, nothing music can't fix at least!" She dug around in her pockets for a moment before realizing that she had no way to play any music. "A-ah, well, just keep your chin up?"
Confessional
"My m-mom says I'm one of those burdens that life brings to challenge people. You know, I g-get in the way of everything, screw everything up, and generally don't fit in." Henry let out a sigh, tapping his fingers against his legs. "She said it was only a matter of time before everyone here decides they need to get rid of me, and that I would come crawling back to annoy her after. That's w-why I can't lose here! I have to stay in so I can avoid annoying my mom!"
Confessional End
Wane and Wallace were still staring into the building through one of the windows when Renee approached them from behind, tapping both of them on the shoulder with a cocky grin on her face. They turned to face her, both stumbling back when they realized just how close to them she was. "Hey, you're that lady with that crazy towel!" Wallace gritted his teeth at her, remembering the pain he endured earlier when he rubbed the rag against his cheek. "What do you want, you wackadoo?"
"Oh, you boys love all things shiny and exquisite, don't you?" She didn't give either of them a chance to answer the question, as she just continued on with her spiel. "Well, that's quite an interesting coincidence, considering that the treasure of the asylum is somewhere in there!"
"Treasure of the asylum?" The two of them lit up with grins on their faces, making Renee smirk even more so than before. "Tell us more, tell us more!"
"Oh, don't worry. I'll fill both of you in on everything I know about the treasure! Legend has it, Jeffrey M. Asylum built this very asylum with more than one goal in mind: locking up the mentally deranged and protecting his treasure. The man had millions, no, billions of dollars in gold and precious gemstones!" The two chaotic boys gasped, their jaws dropping at the mere mention of gold and gems. Renee couldn't help but a chuckle a little before shrugging her shoulders. "Unfortunately, there's really no way for us to confirm if that treasure is still here! As you may have noticed, we're locked outside, and the treasure would be inside...though, I suppose that someone on the other team might break in and snatch it up before we have the chance to."
"No!" Wane shouted in fear, soon grabbing Wallace by his shirt and throttling him violently. "Wallace, we need to get in this building! There's treasure! Big heaps and piles of it! I need that in my gut!" He tossed the taller boy to the ground, returning to the window and trying to crack it open with his teeth. Wallace stumbled back up, running over to the window as well, trying to crack it with his pointy nose. Renee could only chuckle while she watched the boys get to work, until she was suddenly pulled aside by George.
"Nice work with the team's buffoons, eh?" He grinned and gave her a thumbs up, "I gotta admit, you might be one of the smartest ones on this gang of weirdos. Not to mention," he looked her up and down, the grin on his face getting wider, "Not that bad on the eyes, either."
"George Jackson," Renee continued to laugh, waving him off a little bit. "Your father is quite famous, but are you sure you're his son? A bit on the scrawny side to be blood related to some macho football star, aren't you?"
George scowled at her, "I'm just as good as him when it comes to sports. And I don't get what's so funny, all I was doing was trying to give you an ally you could rely on." Renee couldn't help but laugh even harder than before, slapping her knee for added effect. "Good to know that you're gonna be a thorn in my side."
"Oh, forgive me. I can't help but laugh when you make such outrageous jokes! I mean, seriously, you, an ally I could rely on? Give me a break!" The spokesperson grinned as she saw the growing anger on George's face. "If you haven't noticed, I already have two wonderful sidekicks hard at work under my leadership. I don't think I'm in need for another ally."
"Pfft, you can't be serious about those two nincompoops. You know, I'm willing to be that my little goon is gonna get into the building well before they can," he proudly smirked at her. "In fact, she's probably already hard at work to bust that door down."
"Oh, you don't mean that little Mitsuki, do you?" Renee gestured to the area around them, revealing that Mitsuki was nowhere in sight, bringing a frown back to George's face. "Unfortunately for you, it seems she's wandered off to places unknown." She continued to chuckle as she walked back towards Wane and Wallace, leaving the disgruntled boy to his own devices. "Come let me know when you've got me beat, won't you?"
While George groaned in disappointment, Mitsuki was somewhere else entirely, walking around the perimeter of the building. She had already walked quite a bit, and was beginning to question just how far she would go to impress this boy. Eventually, she came to a halt when she noticed a door, this one being much smaller than the one that they had seen in the front of the building. It was thoroughly coated in cobwebs, much to her dismay, but she had a feeling that this would be her one way ticket to earning his affection.
Confessional
"Sticking my hands through a bunch of cobwebs isn't exactly something I really wanted to do today...b-but if it'll impress George, I don't really have a choice." Mitsuki rubbed her arm while she looked down at the floor, blushing immensely. "Maybe he'll even wanna...n-no, that's so lewd...unless…" A perverted smile grew upon her face.
Confessional End
Carmen had noticed that Wane and Wallace were already through the first pane of glass on the window, and the second one was starting to crack as she watched. She started panicking, rushing over to Honey, who was still sitting on Richard's face, an innocent smile on her own. "Guys, hurry! We need to figure out something or the other team is gonna beat us on the way inside!"
"Oh, I'd love to help, honest! But, I broke Richard's nose or something, and he said it won't set right if I get up too early, so I gotta keep sitting right here until it's all better!" Honey tried to explain herself to Carmen, though the music lover could only glare down at Richard and kick him in the side, causing him to let out a muffled scream.
"Now's not the time to be a huge pervert, Richard! We need to get into that asylum or one of us is gonna have to go home tonight! Ugh, am I the only one on this team taking the challenge seriously!?"
"Fret not, human! Martian technology will save us all!" Marlin's obnoxious voice echoed in a booming manner, garnering the attention of, not only his own team, but the other one as well. Right next to where he and Lilac stood was a massive laser of some sorts, one that was made up of flashy colors. He grinned at his creation while his assistant simply kept her arms crossed, waiting for him to activate the thing. He pulled out a remote from his pocket, a remote with a singular red button, and he slammed his fist down on it.
Immediately, the barrel of the laser started lighting up a flashy, green color. Marlin himself had a big smirk on his face while he awed at the creation, while many of the other contestants had their jaws dropping at the sight. He started to laugh maniacally as the green glow got bigger and bigger until eventually...lightning struck the laser, blowing it to smithereens and completely covering both Lilac and Marlin with soot. The martian boy coughed up some smoke before seeing what had become of his creation and falling to his knees. "It's ruined...it's all ruined!"
Lilac quickly grabbed the boy by his blackened collar, rage in her eyes as she stared him down. "You wasted all of our time building that damn laser and it just exploded! Not only that, but I'm covered in soot! You...you...I'll mess your face up bad for this!" She aimed to punch him, only for a loud creaking noise to sound over everything. Wane and Wallace stopped digging at the windows to stare over at the two main doors, both of which were slowly opening. As they creaked open more and more, the one who had opened them revealed themself to be none other than Mitsuki, albeit she was covered in cobwebs. Renee gasped at the sight, only for George to pat her on the back as he walked past her.
"Looks like I was right, doesn't it? I'm sure things will go just great for you and your minions, though." He waved back at her as he kept walking over to the cobweb-covered girl, patting her on the head lightly. "Nice job! Guess you're not as useless as you look!" Mitsuki smiled up at him with a wide grin.
George was about to walk on before Mitsuki grabbed him by his sleeve, "E-e-e-excuse me G-G-George…b-but d-d-didn't I g-g-get promised something?" She smiled with more perversion than most of the cast was used to at this point as George awkwardly pulled on his shirt. Renee just smirked over at his own predicament.
"At least my minions don't want to swap spit with me," Renee quietly snarked. George scowled at her before slowly turning back to Mitsuki, not really sure what to say to her next as she just stared up at him. Luckily for him, Chris popped up between the two of them, splitting them up, much to Mitsuki's dismay.
"Well, well, it looks like the shy girl's just landed the first win for the Freakish Frogs!" As Chris announced the team's victory, they couldn't help but cheer for themselves, all except for Wane and Wallace, who rushed right on into the building in search of treasure. "I do have to wonder how you got in, though. I didn't see you trying to break any of the windows up here."
"O-o-o-oh, w-well I just went t-to the b-b-back and opened that d-door…" She twiddled her thumbs as she softly mentioned how she entered, only causing Chris to glare over at Chef.
"Chef, I thought I told you to lock the back door on your way out!" The host stamped his feet down on the ground in a mini-fit. "We're definitely gonna have to dock your pay for this little mistake...you basically made this challenge way too easy!"
"Hey, man! I don't see you traversing through walls of spider webs to lock a damn door!" The co-host growled back at him, poking one of his muscled fingers into his chest. "I figured those wimps wouldn't even try it once they saw that! Guess that girl's just got no self respect, walking through there like that."
"Whatever, dude. Either way we have our first elimination coming up with the Seagulls are sending one of their own home, and looking at the team…" Chris looked over to see Rex lying on the ground unconscious, Marlin running from Lilac, and Richard slowly moving his head from side to side as Honey just kept her seat "Well, they have a lot of options. To put it in the kindest terms," he snickered to himself. "Chef, go ahead and lead the Frogs to their rooms while me and the losers stick out here for the ceremony, eh?"
Confessional
Richard was just grinning to himself as he leaned back in his seat. "I honestly don't really care who goes home. I had…potentially the best half hour of my life. All I need is to see Lilac in her birthday suit and I could die the happiest guy in this whole country. Wait… I'm supposed to focus on the elimination now. Uh, Lilac seemed pissed at the alien so better him than me..."
Lilac sat and dusted off her knuckles, which were covered in a mix of both soot and blood. "Building stupid time wasting gadgets that blow up in my face, that'll show him. I'd vote for that pervert...but that alien boy just irks me so much!"
Carmen was looking even more anxious without her beats. "W-well, I could really vote for any of them. Lilac's rude, Honey's dumb, Rex basically has a smooth brain, and Richard… has made a big first impression."
Rex wobbled back and forth in his seat, grinning with that same stupid grin from before. "I think I made a big dent in that door early! Only way the other team won was because I loosened it for them!"
Marlin was wiping the blood from his lips with an annoyed glare "well, that hairy ape sure got pissed fast. I don't see why, but it's a minor drawback. The one obsessed with large lizards will be going anyhow. After all, he's the one who just smashed his head against a door. I actually tried to help… not that the night walker cared"
Confessional End
Chris had gathered the team at a small bonfire, one that was just near the main gate that they had entered from before. The prison bus that had brought them was gone, and in its place, there was a familiar looking limousine. The host himself stood at a podium, grinning over at the group before him. Lilac had her arms crossed as she stared down Marlin, who was futzing with another invention of his. Rex continued to wobble in his seat while Henry sat next to him, scooting further and further away until he eventually fell into the mud. Carmen was a bit fidgety, thanks to the loss of her music, while Richard had nonchalantly given Honey a place to sit since her seat had 'disappeared.'
"Well, you guys sure are a sorry bunch, that's for sure. I assume most of you know how this works, but I'm gonna explain it anyways!" The host pulled up a plate from underneath the podium, one which had six bags of nuts on it. "We've brought back our token of safety from World Tour because, man, you guys are all nuts! You've all cast your votes, and one of you is gonna go bye bye tonight! I'll start calling out names and dishing out bagged nuts to those who are safe, but if your name isn't called...you must take a walk on over to the lame-o-sine to-"
"Wasn't that used in a season before?" Honey asked her innocent question, bouncing up and down on Richard's lap and bringing a smile to his face.
"These exit rides are expensive, okay!? Ahem, you'll walk on over to the lame-o-sine to be taken away from the asylum, to never return...ever! Now, the following people are safe...Carmen." He tossed one of the bags of nuts, as well as her beats, over to the music-loving girl. She gasped as she saw her beloved headphones, dodging the peanuts to grab them instead, immediately putting them on and starting to jam out to some loud rock music. "...Henry." He tossed the second bag over to the shy boy.
"Oh, th-thank goodness...I thought I was a goner there…" He gulped nervously as he caught the bag.
"...Honey...Richard." Chris tossed the two bags over to the same spot, allowing both of them to catch their own. Richard grinned as Honey bounced even more excitedly. "And...Lilac!" He tossed the fifth bag on over to Lilac, who smacked it away with her hand, completely uninterested. Marlin's eyes widened while Rex's teeth started to chatter out of nervousness. "Marlin, your martian narcissism has landed you in the hot seat tonight. Maybe a simple brute force challenge doesn't require anything more than brutish tactics. And Rex...I mean, you had the right idea, but man, that execution was horrible! Henry almost won the challenge for you until you went and smashed your head against the door! Anyways, this last bag of nuts goes to…"
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"...Rex!" The host tossed the final bag of nuts on over to the nervous boy, hearing a gasp of relief in response. "Marlin, dude, you are out of here!" Marlin rose from his seat, glaring back at Lilac while aiming a ray gun at her.
"This is all your fault, you brute! Now, prepare to be annihilated at the hands of my martian techno-" As he rambled on, Lilac slapped the gun out of his hands, causing it to fall to the ground and break into a bunch of pieces. He gasped and quickly picked them up. "I will have my revenge on you apes someday! I swear it!" And with that, he ran off towards the lame-o-sine, getting in it and slamming the door after him, only to get his hand slammed in it. He let out a loud, pained scream as it began to drive off, and soon enough, he was out of sight.
"Well, at least he went out with a bang, right?" Chris snickered before turning to face the camera. "One nutcase down, thirteen more nutcases left! Which one of these suckers will be the next to take a trip down loser road? Find out next time on Total...Drama...Nuthouse!"
14th: Marlin T, the Martian