Chapter 18

Katelyn sat at a table at the Crystal Swan and forced a smile for her pseudo-mother-in-law. She had tried to get her mother to come too, but she insisted that Katelyn and Victoria needed this time to get acquainted.

Katelyn sipped her coffee. "I'm sorry that the wedding was such a rush and we couldn't invite all of you. It was nothing personal. If we had more time, we would have invited everyone."

Victoria rested her hand on Katelyn's forearm. "It's all right, dear. Jarrod explained about your mother's health condition. But I insist on giving you and Jarrod a grand reception this summer at our home in Stockton."

"Please don't go to any trouble."

"It will be no trouble at all. I'm looking forward to it."

The waiter delivered their food and Katelyn was having a difficult time eating. She mostly picked at her food and Victoria noticed, feeling some concern.

"Are you all right, Katelyn? Is there something wrong with your food?"

"No, it's fine."

Katelyn picked up her fork and swallowed hard before taking the bite it held. She was going to eat every last bite on her plate, even if it killed her. Her tense stomach lurched in protest with the first bite. She swallowed carefully, forcing herself on to the next bite.

She already swallowed her pride, choked on her lies and stuffed herself with humiliation. In light of that, eating a plate of food should be a snap.

That evening, Kate stood out on the small balcony overlooking the garden at Jarrod's townhouse. The sun was setting and it would be dark soon, but Katelyn needed some time alone to gather her thoughts. She heard movement behind her but didn't turn to see who it was until Nick came to stand next to her. He watched her for a few minutes then spoke.

"Something is not right here. With you and Jarrod, I mean. I've seen it in his eyes."

"Why don't you go ask him about it?" Katelyn said her heart sinking. First her mother had seen things weren't right, and now Jarrod's brother was picking up on it. Trapped in her own lie, she felt defeated.

"Distrust. That's what I've seen in his eyes. Tell me, what have you done that has caused Jarrod to not trust you? I won't let you hurt my brother and get away with it."

If only she could tell him the truth...tell him she loved Jarrod with all her heart, that she'd never hurt him, that she was dying inside because she knew she'd never be with him.

But she held her silence. All she could do was stare up at him, grasping for something to say to him to make him leave her alone.

His gaze bore into hers. "What have you done to lose my brother's trust?"

"You don't have to answer that." Jarrod's dark voice made them both jump.

Katelyn looked from Jarrod, who stood in the doorway, to Nick.

"I lied." The whispered admission came out before she could stop it.

Nick's expression changed from condemning to a surprised questioning. Before she gave herself away any further, she moved from him, heading for the French doors and her escape. Jarrod stopped her with a light touch on her arm. She waited, and he lifted her face until her eyes met his.

"I do trust you."

How? After lies on top of lies, each one eating away at her soul. She could no longer stand herself. No longer trust herself, her integrity. How could Jarrod possibly trust her after all the pain she'd caused him?

She searched his eyes for the truth, but it was useless. Sometimes she wondered if she would even know the truth anymore.

She went inside without a word. How could she say anything? How could he believe a word she said after all her deceit?

"How can you say that?"

Jarrod turned to face his brother, pondering his frustrated question.

"Your wife just admitted lying. How can you trust her?"

"I understand why she did what she did."

"You're defending her, condoning her actions?"

"I'm neither condoning nor defending, only understanding."

Well Nick didn't understand. He wanted Jarrod's happiness and didn't want him to be hurt. He hadn't intended to question Katelyn, but before he could stop himself, the words came pouring out.

"She said she lied to you. Is that something you can live with?" Nick asked, knowing his brother's desire for the truth always.

"She didn't say she lied to me, just that she lied."

"And you can live with that? Doesn't that bother you?"

It bothered Jarrod a lot. Almost as much as his own lies bothered him.

"Yes it bothers me, but I also understand." He chose his words carefully. "None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We have to forgive one another and help each other to become stronger. Love covers a multitude of sins."

"You can forgive her just like that?"

"I have to, Nick."

Nick regarded his brother. He had never seen Jarrod like this and he admitted it bothered him. He could see the love Jarrod had for Katelyn, but he could also see that something wasn't right between them.

"Tell me, Jarrod, are you and Kate going to make it?"

Jarrod took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm only holding on to her by a thread. If it weren't for her mother visiting, we wouldn't be together at all."

"It's that bad?" Nick's eyebrows rose. "You can't tell. You two look like lovebirds."

"It's all an illusion. I don't know what is going to happen when everyone leaves. I don't want to lose her."

"Have you told her that? Woman like to hear that kind of thing."

No, he hadn't told her. He had to figure out how to let her know that. And how to make her believe it.

The next morning while Katelyn was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, Nick came in. She nervously wiped off the table to keep busy, wondering what he wanted and hoped he got it fast and left.

"I was hoping we would have a chance to talk."

Talk? No, she didn't think that was such a good idea after last night. "I need to..." She put down the dish cloth and turned to leave.

"Please. It will only take a minute. I want to apologize." He sounded sincere, but she kept her distance. She slowly sank down into one of the kitchen chairs and bit her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry for my behavior last night. I acted inappropriately. Jarrod explained things to me."

Her eyes widened in astonishment. "Everything?"

"Enough that I think I understand."

That meant that Jarrod most likely didn't tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But what had he told him?

"Will you forgive my rude behavior?"

"Yes, of course."

"Thank you." A sad expression crossed his face. "But I'm afraid I may have damaged what could be a pleasant family relationship between you and me. I won't bother you any further, milady." He gave a courtly bow and turned to leave.

"Nick." She felt this whole misunderstanding was her fault and wanted to make amends. He was sort of charming in his own way. He faced her and she held out her hand. "Truce?"

He raised an eyebrow and hesitantly took her hand to shake. "Truce."

"We sort of got off on the wrong foot anyway. Let's start over. Forgiven and forgotten. I'm Katelyn."

His smile broadened. "I'm Nick. The good-looking one in the family."