(Hello, y'all! Welcome to Chapter 3 of my little fanfic! Big thanks for those who are supporting me and to everyone putting in the time to write reviews to tell me about how my story's goin'! I'm literally making up this story as I go, adding in more factors as I go to make it the story that y'all want to read! Ok, see you at the bottom of the page!)

(Note: Konosuba was never mine.)

Chapter 3

Yunyun let out a long yawn as she woke up. The blinding, golden sun's rays had entered her windows and were now brightening up her room.

She stood up to walk when she tripped over something heavy – and next thing she knew, 3 people were screaming out of surprise and pain in her room.

Oh, right, Yunyun thought as she felt her slightly flattened face. Kazuma and Liliruca.

Wait a minute…
She noticed that one of the sleeping bags was empty, and Lili was drowsily getting off of Kazuma's chest, rolling onto the oak floor and moaning out of exhaustion and pain.

Meanwhile, Kazuma could only express confusion as he felt the scent of someone else on the other half of the inside of his sleeping bag – in fact, the smell had also happened to be all over Kazuma as well.

"Yunyun?" he asked sleepily. "Who was sleeping in my sleeping bag as well?"

He yawned before he could finish his sentence, but Yunyun could understand what he was trying to say.

She gave the fox girl – whose senses had just come around – a glare and an indication with her head that translated to "We need to talk later."

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she said. "But let's just say that you may have just invited a simp into our party…"

Kazuma – who had also come to his senses now – was close to facepalming, but instead groaned, squeezing his face on the small sleeping bag.

"Seriously, Yunyun, you're terrible at giving clues without giving away the answer…" he replied.

Meanwhile, Liliruca could only give Kazuma a mischievous smile.

She said the following in a (clearly) sarcastic yet lustful voice.

"You know, for an asexual, you rustle around a lot in your sleep – especially down…"

She pointed downwards, and that was the smack in their head that they needed to fully wake themselves up.

Yunyun's face went red, and recoiled with the usual "EHHH?" that any girl would do in these circumstances.

Meanwhile, Kazuma could only give Liliruca Arde a stare back.

Then, he looked fit to burst from laughter.

Both girls looked at him, confused.

"You seem… fine with it~" Kazuma said in a playful yet teasing voice. "So I'm guessing you're okay if I start hugging you in my sleep then?"

Then, the most unexpected thing happened.

Yunyun did the impossible – both for thots in general and for her especially - and blushed madly whilst snorting and cackling madly like a demon.

Hesitantly, Kazuma joined her, the two looking crazier than Megumin's chuunibyou tendencies.

Liliruca looked ready to kill the both of them, her cheeks turning redder than a sack of tomatoes in what was a mix of anger and embarrassment.

Damn it, it backfired! His heart's hard to catch!I Liliruca thought as she put her hand to her overheating face.

How will I catch his heart's attention?

Kazuma continued his onslaught of teasing.

"Oh, come on, now," Kazuma said, giving her a head-rub and stroking her ears. "Breakfast won't do you any good if you stay in heat – it should be around mating season for foxes now, right?"

"All right, all right, Kazuma, no need to embarrass her," Yunyun giggled, putting the smallest tone of seriousness through laughs that Liliruca could only deem unstoppable. "We don't want her to leave the party so soon…"

Liliruca gave Kazuma probably the cutest pouts toward Kazuma, before throwing punches at Kazuma's torso and wailing like a child.

(I completely forgot to mention that Lili's shorter than the average human – well, the anthropomorphic human. If we say that Kazuma's average height, then if Lili stood next to him, the top of her head would only just meet his shoulders. Also, Kazuma, please don't bully the fox loli ;-;)

"WWAAAHAHAAHAA! KAZUMA-KUN! I-I-I WWas ONWI JOWKINGG! UWAAAA!" she said between cries.

Kazuma, as painful and irritating the punches were, chuckled as he tried to use his arms to shield himself.

Then, his stomach rumbled.

"Come on now, Liliruca," he said. "At least stop so we can go down and have breakfast…"

- When They Go To Get Breakfast -

"Oww…."

Kazuma was rubbing the large bruise on his head, whilst the girls happily ate at one of the village's restaurants.

People were happily going about their day, socialising with others or going off with their parties to either the guild or to do a quest. The food in the restaurant smelled really good, and Kazuma was surprised that he had never stumbled upon it when he first went to the town with Megumin.

Oh, right, he thought, in a mix between sadness and happiness as he remembered. She was showing off the fact that we are – were – in a relationship to the other girls.

He rubbed his head again, the bruise generously sending more pain signals to his mind for attention.

Damn it, Hiropon-san, Kazuma muttered. Just because I'm not Yunyun's new boyfriend doesn't give you the right to deliver a sharp punch toward my head.

Tired of the pain, he decided to look around at the restaurant. There were small windows shaped like the ones you'd find at a church, the oak doors looked freshly polished, the designs on the wall made just from wood made the restaurant seem to have a Western theme, but with less cowboys and Karens wanting to speak to the manager because their spoilt kid didn't like having a salad in their hamburger.

He should know – he once went to America with Sakuya during a school field trip when they were about 10. It turned out that Sakuya was half-English (she got it from her dad), so speaking and reading both languages was like a piece of cake for her. Whilst everyone was settling into the hotel that they were staying in, they packed up extremely fast and snuck, jumped through the window and went to a mall literally opposite the hotel.

This was when Kazuma started to feel hurt.

"Oh, come on, Kazu-tan!" told her. "We'll be fine! Consider this our first date!"

Kazuma was nervous. Yes, exploring was a good thing and Sakuya knew enough English to be able to safely get around the mall.

But still, just sneaking out like this could get them in big trouble.

And he didn't mind when she said that it could be their first date – she always teased them, so quotes like that were common. He had learned to get used to it.

When she saw that he clearly wasn't going to comply, her mischievous grin only widened.

"Aww, Kazu-tan looks so cute when he's indecisive that I could kiss him now!"

Kazuma hesitated greatly when he realised that she had grabbed his face and had the most star-struck expression in her face,

WAIT, SHE'S SERIOUS? He thought.

He backed away. She could see that she was slightly hurt, but was otherwise laughing out loud.

She started walking toward the mall.

"Come on, lover boy!" she called. "The whole class already sees us as a couple even if our feelings aren't exactly revealed yet! If we're not lovers, we'll be best friends! Or will it end up like Nisekoi?"

Kazuma was slightly ashamed when heard the slightest hint of disappointment in her voice, so he decided to go with her.

Sure enough, they went to a Wendy's – a restaurant that Sakuya seemed to know well.

"Otoosan says he went for a business trip here once, and ate here! They have the best beef in their burgers!" she assured Kazuma.

Kazuma, being a McDonalds' lover, playfully expressed his doubts.

"Oh? You doubt my dad's opinion?" she said with a challenging tone. "Well then, there's only one way we can figure this out…"

After feeling full from their large burgers, they sat there, patting their stomachs.

As they tried to breathe out the exhaustion, Kazuma realised that there was a lady with black shades and short, blonde hair with some on her face screaming at one of the staff at the counter, whilst a kid with an evil grin looked at them and pulled out his tongue.

He had to hold back Sakuya, who was evidently not happy about that.

"What are they saying, Sakuya?" Kazuma asked.

"The woman kept screaming 'I wanna see the manager!' whilst the clerk said that the manager's sick, and now she wants evidence that he is, but no one's got his number. Now she's demanding twice for what they paid as a refund, with the extra money as compensation for not being able to have a manager who's on the job to speak to complaining customers."

Kazuma shook his head.

"So, these are what American moms are like," he said.

They both laughed out loud.

The woman turned her back at the laughing children, and decided to start her verbal onslaught on them.

"Shut up, brats!" she screamed. "Now you've got to pay me for laughing at me!"

At least, that's what Sakuya had said that the woman told them.

She pulled out her hand, as if expecting that these two would pay.

The two looked at each other.

Then smiled.

They started swearing and insulting her in Japanese, putting curious tones in their voices so that it sounded like they were asking her a question.

They couldn't stifle their laughter as the woman got increasingly mad as she said things only Sakuya could comprehend.

That was probably the most hilarious thing the two had ever done. When they ran back home in time for a teacher to come and check on them and see that they were just relaxing, they were relieved. When it was night-time, they decided to record their voices, saying what they'd done – like they'd do when something awesome, scary or hilarious happened.

"Ok, at the end of the day," Sakuya said. "Wendy's has the best burgers. That's for certain."

When Kazuma shook his head, Sakuya grabbed a pillow.

The boy knew where this was going and grabbed a pillow as well.

Next thing the two of them knew, they were both in a pillow fight, excitedly yelling when one hit the other or narrowly dodged a hit.

Kazuma was about to hit Sakuya over the head with his pillow as if it were a hammer.

"Stop!" she said. Then, she turned on what she liked to call 'puppy eye mode' – looking as cute as possible whilst sitting on the floor.

"You… you wouldn't hurt such a cute girl like me, would you, Kazuma-tan?" she asked in a cutesy voice.

But Kazuma returned an evil grin.

"I am an advocate of true gender equality," Kazuma announced. "I finish what I start, even if the opponent I have to finish is a girl!"

He then playfully pummelled her with the pillow, the two friends screaming and laughing.

Sakuya then decided to fight back, and tried to tickle Kazuma. However, one of her hands accidentally managed to hook onto his shirt, and they both fell on the bed, facing each other with Kazuma on top.

They both blushed heavily, and jumped off of each other.

"Ah, Kazuma-tan taking the initiative, I see," she teased after taking a bit of time to breathe and process what had happened.

Kazuma rolled his eyes, steam coming out of his ears from the overflowing warmth that came with the blush.

"Ah well," Sakuya said. "One day, you'll tell me how you feel toward me, and it may or may not be the last time we see each other. Deal?"

Kazuma was surprised by the serious tone in her voice, then cleared his throat.

"Deal."

They shook hands, and even recorded that deal on tape.

Then, after some more playing, the two decided to go to sleep.

(Oh, Kazuma. You'll never know she gave you a kiss on the cheek whilst you were asleep xD)

The memory now gave Kazuma a heartache and was silent.

He decided to drink some water when he glanced at the door, and nearly made a mess on the floor and Lili.

" What's wrong, Kazuma?" She asked out of pure concern.

Yunyun stared at the door, and also nearly made a mess herself.

"It's Megumin's parents," she said. "They must've heard that Kazuma's come back to Crimsonia…"

"Or they could just be having breakfast," Kazuma explained. "Even though Megumin's not with me anymore, her parents are poor, and I can't let little Komekko live in such poverty. So I give them a little bit of the money that I get from quests so they can buy some on their own. Looks like it only just arrived via mail today, so they're gonna eat some breakfast-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Hyoizaburoo had walked to the table and grabbed Kazuma by the collar.

Yuiyui, who looked panicked, tried to calm him down, but the man was too strong to be stopped.

He tossed Kazuma onto a wall – which thankfully didn't break or crack.

"Hyoizaburoo-san!" Yunyun screamed.

He then picked up Kazuma – this time, by the neck.

"Otousan, don't!" Yuiyui yelled, covering Komekko's ears and eyes. "You want Megumin to live a happy life with a rich man, don't you? You don't want Megumin to live the miserable, poor life we had to endure whilst raising them, don't you?"

Hyoizaburoo looked pissed – he didn't seem to care about money anymore.

"He's nothing but a perverted scumbag!" he screamed. "It's all in this letter here!"

He basically punched his pocket on his black trousers, and pulled out a piece of paper – or was it a letter? At further inspection, Kazuma realised it was a letter.

A letter from Megumin.

"You'd rape ourdaughter?" Hyoizaburoo yelled, kicking Kazuma in the stomach. Kazuma hadn't even had breakfast yet, but the kick made him nearly puke.

Liliruca and Yunyun gave off confused looks.

Meanwhile, the whole restaurant looked ready to kill Kazuma.

But Hyoizaburoo wasn't the only one pissed off.

In pain, Kazuma stood up, holding his stomach.

He snatched the letter from Hyoizaburoo.

After having a read of it, he burst into laughter – but the bitter tone in his voice had returned.

"You can't recognise your own daughter's handwriting from someone else's?" Kazuma chuckled, though through anger. "Wow, some father you must be…"

The Crimson Demon dad punched Kazuma right on the face.

"What are you talking about?" He yelled.

This only made Kazuma even angrier.

"THIS!" he yelled after standing up and poking the crap out of the letter in front of Hyoizaburoo. "THIS ISN'T YOUR DAUGHTERS' HANDWRITING! IT'S THE HANDWRITING OF THAT USELESS, BLUE-HAIRED GODDESS, CHEATING GODDESS AQUA! DO I HAVE TO DISPLAY IT ON A GLOWING SIGN THAT SAYS 'MEGUMIN CHEATED ON ME FOR THAT USELESS GODDESS'?"

The restaurant was silent, and the room had the vibe of confusion for those who didn't understand – and sadness for those who did understand what he meant.

The anger in Hyoizaburoo's face had disappeared, instead being replaced by gentle sympathy and pain.

He looked at his fist – which had some blood and saliva on it – and clenched it, clearly regretting hitting an innocent victim.

But he wasn't done either.

"Prove it," he said calmly.

Kazuma, seeing that the situation had taken a slight turn for the better, also calmed down.

He pointed toward Megumin's name on the letter.

"See how the way it's written is cursive?" he replied, coughing some blood right after. "And the tiny flower that's meant to look like an 'I'? Megumin doesn't write like that – and only one person I know occasionally makes the letter 'I' a flower, despite not even having the letter in her name…"

Hyoizaburoo pulled in Kazuma for a hug, and felt tears go on his neck.

"I… I am so sorry, Kazuma," he said after some time. "Clearly, I put too much faith on thinking that my daughter would always do what's right. I deeply apologise for what I did. How can I ever make up for this?"

Yuiyui looked distraught, whilst Komekko kept trying to ask what was happening in her cutesy, curious way.

Yunyun and Liliruca's face were just nothing but pity.

It felt just like how it happened at the guild to Kazuma.

But Kazuma somehow got a hold of his emotions.

"No need, Hyoizaburoo-san," he said. "Just make sure that you continue to treat your daughter, like you did in the past."

After explaining his reasoning once again for not hating on Megumin that much, Hyoizaburoo could only nod.

"Now, if you excuse me, I think I was having some breakfast with my-"

Kazuma's face dropped as someone's presence seems to have intimidated him.

Of course.

OF COURSE.

Of course, someone had to come in and completely spoil the new-found joyful mood for Kazuma.

Of course, they had to be someone Kazuma had only seen in Japan.

Of course, their name was a reference to their dad's favourite Touhou game.

It must've either taken a miracle or an extremely large misfortune for this to happen.

Because at the doorstep was someone who gave off a very familiar aura.

(Ok, I just realised WHAT IS UP WITH THE FACT THAT KAZUMA'S LUCK IS SO LOW THAT FATE HAS THEM MEET AGAIN)

Only Kazuma could pinpoint that this person wasn't Chris, but SAKUYA herself.

Flashbacks were giving his head one hell of a time now.

The promise when they were 10.

Their experiences together.

The very lie that they were friends, let alone potential lovers.

"KAZUMA-TAANNN!"

Wait, what?

Shouldn't she be giving him a naughty, bad-girl glare as she goes on about how useless he is?

Shouldn't she be saying something in a dull manner, like:

"Ugh, it's that useless hiki-NEET!"

"Look who's roaming around the hallways – oh, he's crying? What a loser…"

Why is she acting as if he was her long lost friend?

"I'VWE MWISSED YOU SO MWUCH! UWAA!" she cried like a child, launching herself onto Kazuma and on the floor as if it was normal.

"WHAT THE – HEY, GET OFF ME, YOU TRAITOR!" Kazuma screamed, squirming out of her grasp.

"Kazuma-kun, who is this?"

"Yeah, she's getting WAY too chummy for your own good," Liliruca said, pouting jealously whilst being confused as to who this was.

Kazuma could only reply back:

"She's the person in Japan who cheated on me…"

This made the girls stand up in surprise.

"Wait, WHO?!"

Sakuya gave the two girls a look, then started crying again.

"YOU HAVE A HAREM MADE UP OF BUSTY RED-EYES AND FOX-LOLI NOW? WHAT ABOUT ME?! UWAAA!"

Yunyun rolled her eyes, whilst Liliruca blushed.

"Oh, please, this man chose someone else already over me and some masochistic daughter of a noble family, and now he has the power to do perverted things without being called a perv because he's 'asexual', he ain't my type," Yunyun replied dully.

Well, the serious vibe in the restaurant clearly disappeared, but Kazuma wasn't having any of it.

"Okay, can we 4 just… speak in private?" he asked Hyoizaburoo. "It's because of, uh… really personal stuff."

Hyoizaburoo nodded and went to buy breakfast for Yuiyui and Komekko.

"Oh yeah, and I'm soon to do a quest, so try to save the money in the meantime until I send a letter saying I'm doing one," Kazuma called to him before leaving the restaurant.

- Later -

"Damn it, I should have eaten breakfast before going on the carriage to Axel," Kazuma complained.

After remembering that Dust had asked Kazuma to come to his house soon, he decided that they'd talk in a carriage on the way to Axel.

Everyone stared silently at Sakuya, who shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

"Uh… Kazuma?" Yunyun started asking. "Why are you just casually talking about private, personal things in front of us two –" (she indicated toward Liliruca) "- I mean, we're just friends, nothing more…"

"Because I'm too lazy to have to repeat the whole conversation, because you guys are my part of my team and are good friends of mine, and because I gave you the right to know what's happening without misunderstanding," Kazuma explained. "Also, because a certain lazy-ass author doesn't want to have to keep repeating the fact that I tell everyone something that happened twice."

(sweats profusely)

"So, Sakuya," Kazuma asked. "This is where I start my questioning. How did you find me?"

(I can hear the bad reviews coming…

Everything's just happening the way that I want it to, and yes, it does take 4 chapters for Dust to chat with Kazuma at his house. Also, Sakuya, as the small fraction of those who read this know, is a reference to a Touhou Project game, Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil. At this point, I'm still trying to read reviews and seeing how people want this to go/end, and I'm kinda contradicted between ways that it does go/end that actually sound good – it's much better than the original ending, where Kazuma kills himself when he meets his original gang again.

Also, Sakuya is an enigma that will be solved in Chapter 4, amongst other things that need to be clarified or known.

Anyways, thanks for enjoying my little story, and Chapter 4 will come soon!)

(Love ya guys :D)

CandiceLilDF1tInYoMouth