Open Your Eyes

by someofthissomeofthat310

My take on what could happen if there's a season 3. *Summary inside because I don't want to take the chance of spoiling the second season for someone that hasn't seen it yet*

7. Stays in Vegas

~ Chapter 7: Stays in Vegas ~

Benji's POV

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how tired are you?" His words were slightly muffled because he was brushing his teeth, but I still understood him.

I wanted to tell him a billion because I was so exhausted. We'd had an early start to a packed day. The Grand Canyon had been amazing but, because Andrew and Victor were crazy competitive, it had also involved way more hiking than I'd initially thought. When Victor had been looking up trails we could hike, he'd been looking at shorter ones. Then Andrew joined us and egged him on, and our 'short hike' became very long.

I wanted to tell Victor all of that, but he'd just gotten out of the shower and was only wearing a towel bunched at his waist while he rifled through his duffle bag to find pajama pants, so I was a little distracted. He only pulled out a pair of boxers. He disappeared back into the bathroom despite the fact I hadn't answered.

When he got back out, he bit his lip. "Well? How tired are you?" How was I supposed to tell him I was tired when he was looking at me like that? It was his I'm-feeling-horny look. He'd told me yesterday that he needed some time before he'd be ready to sleep with me, so either one more day was all the time he needed or he'd had a drastic change of heart at the canyon.

"Not so tired that we can't fool around if that's what you're asking," I answered.

He grinned at me. "Are you sure? Because you spent about six hours complaining about how exhausted you were after our hike."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I shouldn't have complained so much. I had a lot of fun on the hike. It just hurt more than I expected it to. And I was still tired from yesterday."

He walked over to me and knelt on the bed behind me. He rested his chin on my shoulder. "It was tiring," he conceded. "I didn't realize how much of it would be uneven. Though, I guess we should have realized that and picked a shorter trail."

I chuckled and resisted the urge to tell him that that had been the original plan; I turned my head so I was facing him. "It was cool to see those springs though," I told him.

"They were pretty sick, right?"

"Very. I'm glad we went. I'm glad you conned me into coming here."

"Conned?" Victor protested. "This was one-sixth your idea. We all agreed to come here. Driving over last night was even your idea so we wouldn't have to wake up at 4."

"I didn't mean the Grand Canyon. I meant I'm glad you conned me into running away here. To Las Vegas. I thought this was going to be a mistake, but… I think it's been really good for you." I really did. I didn't know if it was that he'd gone back to Texas or that he was visiting Mia or that, inexplicably, Victor seemed to be the kind of person that needed to run away from his problems in order to deal with them, but he seemed so much freer than he'd ever been at Creekwood. Coming here was good for me too. We needed to get away.

"I still think conned is a strong word. It's not my fault that you can't say no to me."

I snorted and shoved him lightly. "I could say no if I wanted to." I leaned in towards him. "But I don't want to."

He pressed his lips to mine. "Good." He reached over and turned off the light. Within seconds, he had my shirt off.

Before we could get much further than that, his phone rang. He groaned but reached for it. He sat up and held his phone in front of him; his eyes got wide. "It's Pilar. It's 3 am by her. She wouldn't be calling this late if something wasn't wrong." I could hear the fear in his voice. He answered it and immediately put it on speakerphone. I turned the light on.

"Hello?" There was no noise on the other end. "Maybe she pocket-"

"Happy birthday to you! Happy-" Victor held his phone away as his entire family sang to him so loudly I was impressed Lake and Lucy couldn't hear them through the wall we shared.

When they finished their song, Victor put his phone on the bed in between us. He shifted so he was sitting cross-legged. "Did you stay up until 3 am to wish me a happy birthday?" He asked.

"They woke me up for it," Adrian explained. He yawned loudly.

"The rest of us stayed up. Happy birthday!" Felix cheered.

"Felix? Is anyone not there?"

"It's just the five of us. How's Las Vegas? Are you having fun? Are you being safe? I saw you went to the Grand Canyon today. You didn't go rock climbing, right? You know how you get with heights."

Victor's smile dropped so fast. "How… how did you know where we are?"

"Your brother helped me find Benji on Instagram. He's been tagged in a bunch of pictures and has posted some really cute ones."

"I guess I can go back and mention you in all my posts," I whispered quietly. He'd asked us all not to include him, but it felt irrelevant now that his mom figured out how to find me.

"I can't believe my baby boy is seventeen today. It seems like just yesterday-"

"Okay, yeah. You don't need to finish that."

His mom decided she did. "- that we brought you home from the hospital. You were such a tiny thing. Your father was afraid to hold you for months; he thought he was going to break you. His parents practically moved in with us and you used to pee every time your abuela changed your diaper. I'm talking like a fountain." Isabel laughed.

"Oh my God. Please stop," Victor groaned. His hand was over his eyes and he looked mortified. I was biting my lip to hide my laughter. Isabel and I didn't see eye to eye on many things, but I loved everything that was happening right now.

"I have a responsibility to embarrass you today. This is as much my day as it is yours. I gave you life, give me this moment. Every birthday with you is special, mijo. You will always be my first baby. I remember on your first birthday, you were so scared of your smash cake."

Victor pressed mute on his phone. "She tells this story every year," he grumbled. "She at least waited for everyone to leave last year before she broke it out, but you'd think it would get old after sixteen years."

"Shh. I want to hear how this goes." While he'd been talking, I'd only been able to make out that he had an under the sea themed birthday party and there was something about the shark on the cake.

"-and it got all over you. I mean, everywhere. In your hair, your diaper; it was everywhere. You were more cake than baby."

I sighed. "You're going to have to fill me in later," I warned him.

He shook his head vehemently. "Not a chance."

"Okay, Isa. I think that's enough," Armando said. "It's getting late."

"Fine. My point is, you were my little mama's boy from the very beginning, and I love you so much. Do you feel older? Wiser?"

"Mostly just tired."

"Unmute yourself," I reminded him.

"Right." He clicked the button. "We're just tired. We went to the Grand Canyon today. Now that you know where we are, I'll send you some pictures. You won't have to stalk Benji's Instagram."

"I can't wait to see them. What are you doing for your birthday?"

"It's a surprise," I cut in. "We have a fun day planned for him, but he can't know about it yet."

"Oh. Benji. Hi. I didn't realize you were there. Are you having fun?"

"We're all having so much fun. We needed this. It's been nice to get away from… everything."

There was a long silence. "Um, good. I'm going to let you go. I know it's after midnight by you, and you need to get some sleep. We love you! We can't wait to celebrate with you when you get back."

There was a chorus of "I love you" and "happy birthday" before we heard them say goodnight to each other.

"The coast is clear," Pilar said.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked uncertainly. I felt like Victor's conversation had gotten weird fast once his mom knew I was here.

"No," she answered. "Adrian doesn't know exactly what happened, though word has reached the lower elementary school. He doesn't know the details, and we're all trying to keep it that way. He is not making it easy." There was a slight silence. "Alright. One second. Sorry, I'm putting you back on speaker."

She did in time for us to hear Felix say, "ask him."

"Ask me what?" Victor questioned.

"Do you remember your kindergarten hamster?"

A weird look crossed Victor's face. "Yes," he said slowly.

"Did you really kidnap it?"

"You kidnapped a hamster?" I asked. I turned so I was facing him.

"First of all, I did not kidnap her. I rescued Molasses," Victor defended. "Secondly, who leaves an itty, bitty hamster all by herself at night. It was cruel."

"I didn't know you liked animals so much," Felix said.

Pilar made a noise. "He went through a vet phase until he was like twelve. Don't ask him about the turtle fiasco of 2011."

"What's the turtle fiasco?" I asked.

"You know what? It's my birthday. You're supposed to be nice to me today. How'd you find out about all this anyway?"

"Mom's spent the last four days reminiscing about her 'baby boy'," Pilar explained. I couldn't help my snicker when I saw the mortified look on Victor's face. "She's told that hamster story at least twenty times now."

"And the story about how you climbed into the crib with Pilar when you got your own room with your first bed because you didn't want her to be alone," Felix added.

Victor groaned. "Is mom okay? I know she's pissed, but she seemed okay."

"She's okay; she misses you like crazy. She knows you're going through a time, and she just wants you to be okay."

I had to look away from Victor because, despite Pilar's words, I had a lot of trouble believing that. I knew his mom wanted him to be okay, but I doubted she fully understood what he needed to be okay; once we got back, I was 99% sure she was going to forbid him from seeing me. "Right. Um. How are the two of you? You must be exhausted."

"Not so exhausted that we can't talk to you. Tell me everything," Felix said. "How was the Grand Canyon? How's Vegas? How's Mia?"

I leaned back in bed as I realized that he was probably in for a long phone call. Victor, it turned out, had other plans. "Can we talk about it tomorrow?" he asked. "We really are tired."

"But- ow," Felix said. "What?" I didn't know what Pilar did, but Felix said, "ooh. You're with Benji. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

Victor laughed. "You didn't. We need to get some sleep."

"Yeah. Sure. Sleep. Have fun. Night. Night, Benji."

"Night," I said.

"Talk to you tomorrow," Victor promised before he hung up. He smiled dopily at his phone.

"Do I get to ask about the turtle fiasco now?" I wondered.

Victor snickered. "It wasn't as big of a deal as it seems. When my mom was pregnant with Adrian, we went on vacation to California with my grandparents. We went for a walk on a nearby beach even though it was too cold to go in the water because I think me and Pilar were driving them crazy. I saw a sea turtle nest. It wasn't buried. It was in the dunes, but you could see it. There were some seagulls flying around it. Our dad said he'd call… someone, but I was so scared that the seagulls would eat the eggs. I ran into the dunes and planted myself right in front of them. I don't know if you know this, but you're not supposed to go on the dunes, so I was kind of out of reach of my parents. We had a huge showdown. There we were, my dad yelling at me to get back to them, my mom was holding back Pilar because she wanted to join me, and I was hysterically crying about the sea turtles. Some guy in a golf cart came over to find out what was going on. When he saw the eggs, he told me I could stay there until he returned with this organization that would rehome the nest so it was in a safe location and they would monitor so they could help the babies get to the ocean when they hatched." A small smile settled on his face.

I shifted a little. "I never knew you liked animals so much."

He shrugged. "When I was little, I wanted to be a vet."

"What changed?"

"I guess I started to feel weird about it. Like, how could I be a vet when I don't know anything about having a pet."

"You never wanted a pet?" I pressed.

"Of course I wanted one. I begged for a dog until I was almost twelve," he explained. I tilted my head and looked at him curiously. "For years, when someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I said I wanted a puppy. That was the only answer I would give. About a week before my twelfth birthday, my dad told me he knew I wanted a dog, and he knew I was responsible enough to take care of one, but we couldn't afford it. Aside from the adoption costs, they'd have to regularly budget for food and routine vet visits and grooming. Not to mention if something went wrong and they needed medicine or a special procedure. They couldn't make it work. He tried to figure it out; I could tell."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. We'd never talked about this before, and I wondered if that was intentional or if Victor had subconsciously been avoiding this conversation. "Do you ever think about getting a pet?"

He looked uncertain. "I don't know. I do know I don't want a turtle. Heather's great and all, but cleaning her tank is a pain in the ass. Part of me never really got over that image of a little puppy sleeping in my bed. I guess it depends on where I end up after college, you know." He side-eyed me. "And I hope this is something we'll be able to talk about one day. Maybe figure it out together. Did you ever want a pet?"

"It was always off the table for me. My mom is badly allergic to cats and dogs."

"Is she really? Or did she just say that?" Victor asked. He had a small smile on his face.

I smiled. "It's funny that you ask because I didn't believe her until I was ten. Then, my aunt got a cat. My mom took one step in her house and had a reaction. We had to turn around and go home so she could take some Benadryl."

"You never wanted anything other than a cat or a dog?"

"She had a reason for everything else. She thought guinea pigs and hamsters were creepy; birds were too loud; reptiles were out of the question. We've never had a pet other than goldfish. I wouldn't mind a dog or a cat one day, though." I actually could vividly picture Victor curled up on the couch with a cat resting on his stomach while he scrolled through TikTok. "It's a shame I won't have a vet boyfriend to help me figure that out."

Victor chuckled. "You'll just have to settle for me."

"If it helps, I think you'd probably be a great vet if you ever wanted to go back to that."

He shook his head. "Nah. I grew up."

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago," I teased.

He chuckled. "I can't believe they all stayed up to call me. Even Felix." I snorted and he looked at me confused. "What?"

"I get being surprised by your family, but Felix?" Victor still looked confused. "How do I explain this? If I had to describe the greatest love story of your life, I would not describe our relationship. I would describe your friendship with Felix."

He smiled down at the bed. "He is a really good friend. You'd really pick him?"

"I can't compete with Felix, and I wouldn't want to," I told him. I knew Victor loved both of us; he just loved us in different ways. It had taken a little bit of time to work through that because Victor was so close to Felix; it was kind of intimidating when we were new to our relationship, and it was the first time I'd had to experience a boyfriend with a best guy friend. Derek had had guy friends but by no means were they his best friends. I think any guy would be jealous if another guy told his boyfriend that he glowed like Fourth of July fireworks or if they heard their boyfriend tell another guy that he looked 'really handsome'. I worked through that jealousy and could appreciate that Victor had someone like Felix in his life.

"For the record. The two of you are competing in very different competitions."

"Oh, I know," I confirmed. He got a weird look on his face. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "It's just so weird to think that today's my birthday and to think about how much has changed in the past year and how it feels like Felix is the only part of my life that hasn't changed."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's not in a bad way," he hastily clarified. "But my life is very, very different now than it was a year ago today. My birthday wish last year was to figure out who I was. I got that and so much more. I have you in my life, and we're in Vegas with some of our best friends, and Mia forgave me, and my mom figured out how to be okay with me. I can't imagine being happier than this."

I didn't bring up the fact that he was very clearly ignoring all the bad things that happened since his last birthday, most recently being that one of his teammates took a video of him having sex. If he wanted to spend his birthday on cloud nine, I wasn't going to stop him.

"I can think of something that might make you happier."

"Oh, yeah?" he asked. He bit his lip. "Prove it."

- . - . - . -

Lake's POV

We were under strict orders from Benji not to bother him and Victor before 12:30. He gave us free rein over the rest of the day as long as we gave him the morning. That didn't mean we weren't pounding on the door as 12:29 turned to 12:30 (by we, I mean I banged on the door while Mia, Andrew, and Lucy waited behind me). I'd expected to have to drag them from their room, but they opened the door fully clothed and ready to go to lunch.

Each of us had planned one thing to do with Victor for his birthday. Benji had… whatever the hell they did this morning that put such big smiles on their faces. Lucy's contribution was lunch.

Andrew chose indoor skydiving for our afternoon activity. Victor was so excited when we pulled up. He literally couldn't shut up about how cool it was going to be. It wasn't really what I was expecting. In retrospect, I should have known it wouldn't be like outdoor skydiving but indoors because the building wasn't that tall. It was really like a simulation. It was hard to say who was having more fun. Victor in the air thing or Benji taking pictures of the faces Victor was making. It was hilarious to watch Victor and Andrew sing 'I believe I can fly' as they were floating around. They were naturals in there. Part of me knew they weren't just goofing around and that they'd attended a whole class before they were allowed in the tunnel, but they made it look so easy.

Honestly, they were lucky they got in because they technically needed someone 21 or older to sign a waiver and we lucked out that some random woman that definitely did not want to be there with her sixteen-year-old claimed to be their guardian when she found out it was Victor's birthday. The woman that sold their tickets clearly hadn't been convinced that she was their guardian, but Victor thought she didn't want to come across as racist, so she let them through. Lucy said that was a lawsuit waiting to happen, but they got to go in, so we weren't complaining.

After our time was up, we ended up walking around Vegas while we waited for the dinner reservation Mia had made for us.

We happened upon this pop-up art exhibit, and it didn't take much for Mia to convince us to look around. Each canvas was surrounded by sparkling string lights which were necessary with the setting sun. While Lucy and Benji were huddled around a piece of abstract art and were debating what it was, I looked for Victor.

He was standing in front of one painting of a faceless person with a piece of tape in front of their mouth. There was a patchwork of LGBT flags behind them. I recognized a few of them from my research.

I didn't realize he was crying until he wiped at his eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure? Because most people don't cry on their birthdays if they're okay." He shrugged. "It's kind of intense, isn't it? This painting?"

He was quiet for over a minute; I figured he wasn't going to tell me what was going on and I was about to go tell Benji that he needed to cheer up his boyfriend. "Sometimes this is how I feel," he said quietly. "At Creekwood, I mean. Not right now. I feel like people only see that I'm gay. They don't see that there's so much more to me. I try to be who I am and live my life in a way that feels right for me, but I'm always aware of it. It feels like if I don't act like how everyone expects me to, then I don't really exist to them. I become this person who is trying to scream but can't." He sighed. "In so many ways, life was easier before I came out. I knew exactly how to act when my sexuality was a secret. I wish being out was just as easy, you know. When it's just us, being myself is the easiest thing in the world, but when other people are there? I feel like I lose myself because I'm not so sure that who I am is who they want me to be."

"I know what you mean," I said quietly. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I didn't know why this was making me so emotional. Maybe because, deep within myself, I'd heard the words Victor had spoken. A part of myself that I'd put a great deal of effort into denying resonated with those words, and I felt like I'd just woken up after a long hibernation. "I am terrified to let people see who I am because what if they mess up something really great? What if they reduce me to one small part of myself. It seems easier to have some things that are just mine."

"It is easier until it's not," Victor whispered. "I used to think that if I pretended long enough, I would be the Victor I wanted to be and not the Victor I was. I thought what other people thought… what my family thought was the most important thing in this world. I wanted to be a different Victor for them and for myself, but it wasn't possible."

"You don't want to be who you are?" I asked surprised.

"I do now," he said quickly. "Usually. But for a long time… I hated what I was. Hated it so much that I tried to become something I wasn't. It wasn't worth it. Being myself, having this chance with Benji? Those things are worth it. Sometimes, though, it's still really hard and I have to remind myself why I bother to put up with this and that makes me feel like shit because I shouldn't have to remind myself. I am so proud of myself, but I don't know if that means anything when I'm terrified to let other people see that pride."

"You are one of the greatest guys I know. You shouldn't be afraid to be yourself. If people can't handle you, then they're missing out."

"I just wish I saw it that way." He looked behind us. "I try for Benji because I know that's what he needs, and he's so much further ahead of me with this stuff; I don't want to hold him back. Sometimes it's so easy because I love him so much and I know he loves me even though I'm a complete mess, but…"

"But sometimes it's really hard to want that for yourself?" I guessed.

"Exactly."

Another tear slipped down my cheek. This felt like the right time, which really surprised me. All of the times I pictured this moment, I imagined that I was telling Benji and Victor just happened to be there. When we found out about Vegas, I figured Mia would be the first person I told yet our entire trip to the Grand Canyon had passed without me uttering a word despite the perfect opportunity. Maybe I'd been waiting for a moment like this. A moment where I was with someone that was able to put words to my deepest insecurities. I was surprised by how much I wanted to tell him. It was almost overwhelming; it was like it wasn't a choice but a moment written into the fabric of time. "Victor?"

"Yeah?"

"Lucy's…" my voice cut off. It was kind of like my suppressed sob was pressing on my vocal cords. "Lucy's my girlfriend." It was the first time I'd said it out loud to someone that wasn't Lucy, and I was unprepared for the sudden influx of emotions. I didn't know which one to focus on; it felt like they were fighting with one another to figure out which one I should feel first.

"Okay," he said simply. "Are you happy with her?"

"Very."

"Good."

That was it. He didn't make a big deal about it or ask me any more questions. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it hadn't been that.

"I don't know what this means for me," I admitted after a minute. "I don't know if I'm bi or pan or some other sexuality that I haven't heard of yet."

Victor turned away from the painting. "That's okay. The only label you need is that you are you. And I think you are pretty amazing."

I let out a relieved sigh and wiped my tears. "Sorry. I don't know why I can't stop."

He smiled softly and ducked his head a little. "Am I the first person you told?"

"Sort of. Lucy knows."

He chuckled before he composed himself. "Thank you for telling me. I love you, Lake. And I'm happy you're happy. "

"Me too," I told him.

He hesitated a moment before he pulled me into a hug; I clung to him as it hit me that I'd told him. It was terrifying, but I also felt at peace knowing that I didn't have to carry the burden of my secret. There was someone else, other than Lucy, that could carry it with me.

"If I was a less understanding boyfriend, I'd be jumping to some conclusions right now," Benji said from behind us.

Victor pulled back but snaked his arm around my waist. "You caught me. I'm leaving you for Lake." He couldn't even get through it with a straight face.

"Hey, you could try to sound like that idea isn't repulsive. You should be so lucky; I'm a catch." I flicked my hair back.

Victor looked at me. "You really are," he confirmed.

Benji looked between us for a second before he shrugged. That was trust. "Our dinner reservation's in twenty minutes. Mia says it's gonna take that long to walk there."

"We'll be right there," Victor promised. He waited until Benji walked away to turn to me. "After I came out, there was something I wished people would ask me because I wanted to talk about it so bad, and no one ever did."

"Which was?" I asked uncertainly.

"How are things going with Lucy?"

I couldn't help my smile. "They're… amazing," I answered. "She's something else." I glanced behind us where Benji, Lucy, Mia, and Andrew were huddled. It was too dark to make out much more than their silhouettes, but I knew which one was Lucy. "When Felix broke up with me and Mia took off, I didn't think I'd bounce back from that. I lost the two most important people to me in the span of a week. Lucy made me feel whole again. She was there for all of my bad days and made them… less horrible. I didn't see this coming. I had no idea that I might be into girls, but it was never a question with Lucy. It just was." My eyes widened. "Sorry, I don't know where that came from."

"Maybe you wanted to talk about it too," he said.

"Do you still want to? Talk about Benji?"

"I always want to talk about Benji. It's hard not to talk about him but someone usually pretends they're annoyed when I talk about him too much," he said with a grin.

"I guess I understand it a little better now," I said softly. I actually felt a little guilty about that because knowing that I had someone that could listen made me want to talk about what this was like with Lucy. If Victor felt like this, I didn't know how he contained it.

"I think Benji might actually get a little jealous if we don't go to dinner. Lucy might get the wrong idea too." He nudged me and pointed toward where all of our friends were blatantly staring at us.

I snickered. "Can we talk about this some time?" I asked. "Lucy and Benji and what this is all like?"

"I'd really like that."

- . - . - . -

Felix's POV

I woke up to three texts from Pilar. Do you wanna go somewhere? My mom is currently crying over scrambled eggs

Id REALLY REALLY REALLY love to not be here

Then she sent me a bunch of exploding head emojis which was never a good sign.

She'd sent the texts over four hours earlier. I had no idea what she'd been doing up at 10 because I hadn't gone back to my apartment until almost 5. I texted her back. What did you want to do?

She must've been waiting for me or was desperately trying to avoid her mom because her answer was immediate. Rahim invited us over if ur cool with that

I didn't know Rahim that well. I'd hung out with him a few times since I started dating Pilar, but we never really talked. I think he was nervous to talk around me because I was Victor's best friend, and the first time we'd hung out it was really obvious he was still hung up on Victor. I could make my way through an awkward afternoon if Pilar needed me to.

When?

5 mins ago. I snickered as the message came through. I quickly dressed and brushed my teeth before I grabbed a granola bar and apple to eat on the way to Rahim's.

I knocked on the door to Pilar's apartment, and she opened the door just enough to slip outside. "When Victor gets back, I'm going to kill him," she grumbled immediately.

We started to climb down the stairs. "I take it that it finally hit your mom that he's not here?" I guessed. She'd tried to make a bet with me last night about when it would happen, but I hadn't taken the bait.

"She's literally been crying all morning," Pilar complained. "I get that this is a big deal or whatever, but it's really annoying." I chuckled. "What?"

"You're really cute when you're mad." She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips twitched.

"Whatever."

We stepped out into the sunlight, and I took the chance to grab her hand and kiss it. "I mean it. You also look really beautiful today."

"You make it really hard to stay mad."

"I'm counting on that."

At the bottom of the steps, she leaned up and kissed me. "Thanks for agreeing to come with me. I didn't want to say no to Rahim, but I wanted to see you today."

"I don't mind," I assured her. We walked to the bus stop closest to our apartment. "Hey, do you think after Rahim's we can talk?"

"Is it something we can't talk about right now?" she asked curiously. I hesitated. "Is this about whatever we didn't talk about last night?"

"You picked up on that, huh?"

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Because you were so subtle. What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"Wrong? No. Why would you think that?"

"Because your forehead is getting all sweaty and it only does that when you're nervous about something."

I self-consciously wiped my forehead on my sleeve. She was right. I was sweating. "I am nervous to talk to you about this, but it's only because we haven't talked about it yet." I sat down on the bench and, after a minute, she sat down next to me. "I love you, Pilar, and I want to talk about when we might be ready to take things to the next level."

Understanding lit up her features. "I want to; believe me, I want to," she said softly. "Other than the obvious problem-"

"The obvious problem?" I questioned.

She raised her eyebrows. "Your mom is always home and my mom gets home from work before we get home from school. Where are we supposed to have sex?"

That was a really good point and I was a little embarrassed to admit that I hadn't thought about that. Even if my mom got this job, she'd be home early enough that we wouldn't have the chance to do anything after school. "Right. So, what was the other thing?"

"Honestly, it's mostly Victor that's holding me back."

"Victor? Why?"

"You're his best friend. That complicates things. It has been so weird to hear people talk about him these last few days, and it would be just as weird for him to hear about me. I know he talks to you about some stuff-"

"Not that much," I interrupted. It was true. We talked a little but never anything too graphic or too deep. We both wanted to keep our private lives private to some extent. It was why I learned more about his sex life from that video than I'd ever learned from him.

"But you still talk," she said. "And once we have sex, if you talk about it or play a game where you have to share the craziest place you've had sex, he'll assume you're talking about me. It's not just about being ready to sleep with you because I've been ready for that for a while; I need to be ready for Victor to know that we're having sex and I'm not ready for that."

"I understand that but, for the record, Victor is cool with it… cool might be a strong word, but he knows and accepts that we're going to have sex eventually."

Her head snapped up to look at me. When she spoke, her voice was slow and pointed. "Did you talk to him about this?"

"I didn't do the talking," I assured her.

"What did he do?" She looked mortified.

"He didn't do anything," I told her.

"Oh, God. What did he say?"

"Just that you are very important to him and that, if it came down to it, he'd choose you. He had some… colorful suggestions for what he would do if I ever hurt you. Did he really threaten to beat up Erick before one of your dates?" It seemed like the dude deserved it, but I'd seen a side of Victor that was kind of terrifying.

Pilar groaned. "I hope he's having a good birthday because it's going to be his last; I'm going to kill him."

"I thought it was sweet. I've never seen Victor in big-brother mode like that before and trust me… I never plan to again. He told me that he thought you loved me and that was rare for you; he really wants you to be happy. I told him I loved you, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I meant that with all of my heart. I don't need to have sex with you right now to be the happiest I've ever been with you. We do this your way, Pilar. We can wait as long as you'd like." I squeezed her hand. "I really love you."

The bus came before we could say anything else. Somehow, a crowded bus didn't seem like the right place to continue our conversation. I figured we'd mostly said everything we'd needed to say. I knew where she was at with this and I understood why she wasn't ready.

- . - . - . -

Rahim's POV

I was lying on the couch in my family room with my legs dangling over the arm. Ryker was a mirror image with their legs hanging over the other arm. The couch was just short enough that our heads were side by side. They were reading To Kill a Mockingbird for English class. I was supposed to be doing homework as well, but it was still sitting in my bag in my bedroom.

In defense of me, I was living in a blissful haze right now, and I did not have room to ruin that with schoolwork. Not only had I had the best date in the history of dates on Friday, but we'd also had our second date last night, and it had been amazing. It had been a spontaneous decision after both of us complained about how bored we were.

Walking around Midtown holding his hand would have been amazing enough, but TJ called me his boyfriend when I bought the tickets for the movie we went to see and I still hadn't fully come down from hearing someone call me their boyfriend.

That was right. I was someone's boyfriend. And not just any someone. TJ. I wasn't sure if it was too soon to be his boyfriend but, as TJ pointed out, we'd been talking in a we're-hopefully-going-to-date capacity since New Year's Eve.

I'd filled Ryker in when they got here and had let them know that Pilar was coming over. Ryker wasn't out to anyone outside of our Boardner's group, so I wanted to make sure they were cool with that.

My doorbell rang, but I didn't move. "Come in," I called loudly.

Pilar walked in while Felix trailed her. "Hey," she said. She threw a bag of popcorn at me. It bounced off of me and landed on the ground, so I moved from my very comfortable position to grab it. "We won't eat this because it's flavorless and my mom bought it for you before you started boycotting my apartment."

I rolled my eyes at her. "It's not flavorless. It's delicious," I retorted. "And I was over your apartment on Tuesday. You didn't offer me them then."

"Because I fed you dinner," she pointed out. "Hey." She half-waved at Ryker but couldn't hide her grimace.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. "You said you needed to get out."

"My mom's moping today." Felix sat down in the sofa chair, and Pilar sat down on the arm of it. She dramatically threw herself down on it if I was being honest.

I raised my eyebrows, so Felix explained, "it's Victor's birthday, and it's his first birthday away from home."

"You'd think he was leaving home forever and not just turning seventeen in Vegas," Pilar complained.

Ryker sat up. "He's in Las Vegas? Like Nevada?" they asked incredulously. This was news to me as well. Rumors had been circulating that he and Benji had run away, and I hadn't asked Pilar about it. I'd finally texted Victor yesterday, but I hadn't heard back from him.

"Yeah. He took off after that video posted." Pilar shook her hair back and frowned. This had to be a really weird situation for her. Victor's sex life was all anyone could talk about these days.

There was an awkward silence until Ryker asked, "how's he doing after that? It's so fucked up."

"He's… okay, actually. I think it helped that he and Benji got away. He seemed good when we called to wish him a happy birthday."

"I can't believe someone would do that," Ryker muttered.

"Right? All anyone seems to care about is that he had sex with Benji, but how do we all know? Because J-" Felix put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head abruptly. "Because some dick recorded him," she finished lamely.

"You know who did it," I said surprised.

Pilar shrugged. "Yeah, but Victor asked me not to tell anyone."

"So, naturally you told Felix," I teased. "It's okay. If you can't tell your better half, something's wrong."

Pilar shrugged and studied me for a second. "You're in a good mood." Her voice was almost accusatory. I think I'd been stuck in my own wounded feelings for such a long time, Pilar got used to it.

"He's in love," Ryker said dramatically.

I threw my pillow at them. "Shut up!"

"That must've been some date on Friday," Pilar said as she sat down on the arm of the chair Felix was sitting in.

"And yesterday," Ryker added.

"Is nothing sacred?" I asked dramatically.

"Nope," Pilar confirmed. "Tell us everything. I want to hear all about him."

"If I must talk about it." As if I didn't love to talk about it. I'd told Ryker about it at least a hundred times since Friday. "TJ's really sweet," I told her. "We went ice skating on Friday and then to Midtown yesterday."

"You went ice skating?" she asked skeptically. "Didn't you break yourself roller skating?"

"I regret telling you that." We'd gotten on the topic after I'd told her I didn't know how to ride a bike because I broke my wrist roller skating when I was little, and my parents decided wheels were not for me. "I only broke my wrist. Not my whole self. And, I'll have you know, I got a nice blue cast that my teacher made everyone sign because we're all friends in the first grade." I shook my head. We weren't. At all.

"Good thing you didn't hurt yourself because a trip to the ER isn't first date material. How was it?"

I grinned as I remembered how he hadn't let go of me the whole time. "I liked it more than I thought I would. He taught me how to skate, and he is so good."

"You really like this guy."

"Enough that he's going to go to an ice hockey game. TJ plays every Thursday," Ryker told her. Ryker had a glint in their eye that I knew was partly from embarrassing me and partly because they were so happy to see me happy.

"Wow. He's got you into organized sports now? I thought you said that you didn't see the point in watching a bunch of people fight over a ball… or a hockey puck in this case," Pilar teased.

"I think he's invested now," Ryker said. What was happening? They were supposed to be grudgingly cordial because they were friends with me. Why were they going back and forth like they were best friends? "The things he'll do for love."

"He is a hopeless romantic," Pilar agreed.

"Oh, I know. Have you ever seen him watch any romantic comedy ever made?" Ryker asked. "It's like he's the one that the guy is chasing through the airport."

I grabbed a pillow and held it over my head. "I don't like this teaming up thing that's happening. Don't you have homework to do?"

Pilar chuckled and, despite my words, I kind of loved the idea that Pilar might become Ryker's friend. In my head, I instantly pictured Pilar becoming Ryker's confidante just as she'd become mine. I pictured days like this becoming the norm instead of being a rare merging of two worlds.

"Don't you have homework to do?" Ryker tossed back. "You're the one that's in danger of failing."

"You're failing?" Pilar asked.

"Only Geometry. I don't know how this happened," I grumbled. I'd never failed a class before and I wasn't crazy about this feeling.

Ryker scoffed. "Maybe because you haven't done any of the extra credit Ms. N has offered you," they suggested.

"She said I should find a tutor." She'd kept me after class on Friday to tell me that unless I turned things around, I'd be repeating Geometry.

"Isn't your boyfriend a genius?" Pilar asked.

"Don't get me started," Ryker grumbled. "He doesn't want TJ to know that he's failing because he doesn't want him to think that he's stupid."

Pilar's face lit up. "You know, if you need a tutor, I know someone who's really good at math… and he can be surprisingly patient, and both of you said you were going to make an effort with each other."

"Unless you're talking about Felix," I said, motioning to him. "I don't want to hear it." I wasn't sure I was ready to be in-person-friends with Victor. It was still weird being text-message-friends with him

"Felix is busy, but Victor's not."

"Victor's not even in this state," I protested.

"That's temporary," she pointed out. "Come on. This could be good for you! And Victor's so good at math. He's been in advanced math since the third grade."

"Can't you tutor me?" I asked Felix desperately.

Pilar elbowed him. "Nope," he said. "I'm busy, apparently. Besides, Pilar's right. I'm better at most subjects, but he's got me beat in math. He's already in PreCalc as a Junior."

Victor had told me that once before, but I hadn't given much thought to how weird that was. That was usually a senior-level class. I felt a little mean because I remembered Victor telling me that he was in that class with Benji, and I always figured that Benji and I were roughly at the same academic level, so I didn't know how he was already in Pre-Calculus. Maybe there was more to Benji than met the eye.

"He's your best bet," Pilar pointed out.

"I think you should do it," Ryker added. That surprised me; they'd gotten much nicer about Victor once I filled them in on our conversation, but I hadn't expected them to want me to spend time with him. "Ask him about it. Summer's gonna suck if you have to retake Geometry and if he can help you pass, it'll be worth it."

I groaned. "I'll text him soon, but I'm not bothering him on his birthday." I flopped back against the couch.

"Victor says he'll text you when he gets back to set it up," Pilar said after a minute. She typed something into her phone as I glared at her. "You said you wouldn't bother him today, not that I couldn't."

Ryker chuckled. "There you go. We need to hang out a lot more often. This is so much fun."

"Yeah, fun for you." I crossed my arms. I glanced at Felix. "Can you be on my side? Guys versus gir-" I got a glimpse of Ryker's face before I cut myself off and a feeling of horror set in. "I'm gonna put this in a bowl so we can share. Be right back." I grabbed the bag Pilar had thrown at me when she'd first arrived.

I practically ran from the living room. I felt like an idiot. I was one of the few people that Ryker had trusted enough to talk about their identity and how hard it was to live in a world where everyone automatically assumed they identified as a girl; it was so shitty of me. I hadn't meant anything by it, but it was careless. I was in the kitchen nearly ten minutes before Ryker came in. Their eyes were a little puffy. I had to look away. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean that. I wasn't thinking, and I know that's not a good excuse. I think the world of you and I love you for exactly who you are. I would never intentionally try to gender you, and I know that doesn't make it better, but…"

"It's okay," they said. "I know you didn't mean it. I, uh, told them."

I looked up. "You told them?"

"Yeah. Like, I came out to them."

"If this was because of what I said," I started.

"It wasn't. I swear."

"I thought you said you didn't want to tell them." I actually knew they hadn't wanted to because they'd reminded me not to use their name when I told them Pilar and Felix were coming over.

"I didn't think I did, but then we started talking and, somehow, we got back on the topic of Victor and she talked about how proud she is of him and how he's handled everything since he came out. Her exact words were, 'coming out was the hardest and bravest thing Victor has ever done' and it just felt like she might get it. Then she asked how we met and said she was really glad you'd made such a good friend because she couldn't keep you on your toes all the time. I don't know what it was. Maybe that she cares so much about you or that she was trying with me even though you said she hates almost everyone."

"She's gotten better since she started dating Felix."

Ryker smiled. "Yeah. She's not what I expected."

"What'd she say?"

"Not much. They both were cool with it and didn't make it into a big deal." They ducked their head and started to cry a little. "You have some really great friends. When we met, I thought you hung out with me because you needed to but that was never you, was it? You really chose to spend time with me."

"Yeah, of course, I did," I told them. "Who wouldn't want to?"

"A lot of people," they said softly. "I used to have friends, you know. Outside of our Boardner's group. Then, the summer before I started high school, I told my best friend that I'm into girls, and she couldn't handle it. She insisted that I must like her because how could I be friends with someone that looks like her and not have a crush?" They let out a shaky breath and I resisted the urge to figure out how to make them stop crying. I knew from experience that sometimes you just needed to let it out. "She decided she couldn't be friends with someone like me and took our whole friend group with her. She moved like three weeks into the school year, and most people assumed she'd just been lying about me. I didn't correct them; I was too scared to open myself up to something like that again. It's why my only friends are people that I've met at a bar and why I don't give a second thought about breaking the law to go back. Because they saw that part of me and, instead of pushing me away, they accepted me. I thought that's why you went back too, but I watched you with Pilar today. She loves you, and you really love her, don't you? It wasn't me that brought you back."

"Of course it was you. Ryker, you are my best friend. I would never have gone back there if you hadn't gone there. I would've followed you anywhere. You introduced me to a place full of people that can understand me," I told her after a moment. "Pilar is one of my best friends. Her moving to Creekwood almost makes me believe in the God my parents and I pray to every morning. Almost. Do you know what makes me believe? How on one of the worst nights of my life, when I was falling to pieces, someone saw me and welcomed me into their world. I don't know who your friend was, but they are an idiot because you are amazing. You barely knew me, but you still threw me a lifeline that night. That's pretty special. I love you, you know."

"Thanks." They wiped their eyes. "Anyway, call me a girl again and I will kick you in the nuts. This is your only pass."

I chuckled before I pulled them in for a hug. "I'll remember that," I promised.

- . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Mia brought us to a super fancy restaurant that kind of reminded me of the place we'd gone for Benji's disastrous birthday. I think he realized that too because he was slightly on edge at the beginning of dinner. I felt bad because I knew I ruined his birthday in a lot of ways, and he was going out of his way to make sure I was having the best birthday ever. It wasn't fair, and I was going to figure out some way to make it up to him.

It wasn't just him. They all were pulling out all the stops to make this an unforgettable birthday. And they were succeeding.

After we'd finished eating, Andrew somehow convinced our waiter that we were all over 21 and ordered us all champagne for my birthday. I pretended I had to go to the bathroom and hunted down our waiter. "Hi. I'm sorry to bother you. I'm from that table over there. The one that just ordered six glasses of champagne. Do you have anything nonalcoholic that looks like the champagne but doesn't taste like champagne?"

He frowned for a second. "We have nonalcoholic champagne," he offered. I frowned. I really wasn't sure if that was okay, and I didn't want to take the chance that anything would trigger Benji. E must've seen the doubt in my face. "Or, I could add a little bit of orange juice to some seltzer. It won't be exactly the same, but I can get it close."

"Could I get that instead? I don't drink, but my friends aren't completely aware of that."

"I'll make a note." He glanced at my table before he scrawled something in his little pad. "I will be discreet when I bring back the drinks."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

I went back to our table and took my seat next to Benji. Our waiter came back two minutes later with six glasses. I didn't know how he told them apart because, despite what he said, I thought they all looked identical, but he gave me mine first and nodded subtly when I made eye contact with him, so he must've had some kind of system. I swapped Benji's with mine. "You're good to drink this," I breathed to Benji. "I had him swap it out."

I was a little nervous he'd be mad about it because I hadn't had the chance to ask him about it. Lucy knew, but no one else at our table did, and I didn't want to be obvious. He didn't get mad; he even looked a little relieved. I knew he usually faked it, but I didn't know how he could fake drinking champagne with this small of a group, and I figured if I could make it easier on him, I would. Especially since this was my first time drinking in front of him since I found out, and I knew he said he was okay with that and that kissing me would be fine, but it felt like a really big deal.

"Okay, birthday boy," Lake said as she held up her glass. "I feel like we all have an obligation to embarrass you today, so we're shifting into the speech portion of the night." I glanced at Benji but he looked as surprised as I felt, so I guessed he hadn't been included in the plan. It wasn't surprising. He essentially gave them free rein over planning today as long as they let us celebrate with just the two of us over breakfast. What a breakfast it was. We'd gone to this giant fountain and essentially had a picnic outside of it. Benji had stuck a candle in my waffle and had borrowed a match from someone at the fountain to light it and sang me Happy Birthday in English and then two different versions in Spanish - it had been really cute when he asked if that would be okay. I didn't know exactly how much time Benji spent on Google looking up Puerto Rican culture, but it had to be pretty substantial because it felt like he knew more than I did these days. They did a water show at noon which was kind of amazing to see. It had been a really good morning and, hands down, was my favorite date ever.

"A year ago today, I was just your girlfriend's best friend." I fidgeted uncomfortably; did she have to start there? "I barely knew you. I know this past year has been a roller coaster for you, but we are all grateful to have been along for some of that ride. Having the chance to get to know you… the real you and not the guy that showed up the first day of school as the shiny new kid has been a gift. Everyone at this table is different because of you." Benji squeezed my hand, and I was seriously going to explode because I was not equipped to deal with this level of emotion. "You've inspired us to be true to ourselves and have shown us that some things are worth the sacrifice. You're the reason that this random group of people is sitting together today." I knew that was technically true because we were here for my birthday, but I thought she was giving me an awful lot of credit. My skepticism must've been obvious. "I'm serious. I can't speak for everyone but when Felix broke up with me, so much was changing. I'd just assumed you'd be one of those things, but you still made time for me. I finally got to know you, not as Felix's best friend, and not as someone who got… really, really lucky with the hottest guy in existence." I couldn't help my smile as I peeked at Benji. He ducked his head. "I got to know you as Victor and you became one of my best friends and someone that I know I can trust with anything. Thank you for being you, even when it's hard. We love you."

I smiled at her. "Love you too."

Mia cleared her throat. She studied me for a moment before she shook her head. "So much happened between us in the last year, but I don't want to talk about that. All I want to say is that I'm so glad we found our way back to each other and that we had a chance to become the friends we are today. Happy birthday."

Then Lake looked at Benji expectantly. "Right," he said. "I didn't know I was doing this, but…" He turned so he was facing me. "You said this morning that so much has changed in your life in the past year. A lot of that change… rubbed off on me. Vic, I am so different than I was a year ago. I am more comfortable with myself, less ashamed of my mistakes, more confident in our relationship than I ever have been before. When I was ready to drop everything, you said no. You showed me that what we have is worth fighting for." He took my hand. "You are my best friend, my better half, my partner in crime; I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love you."

"Oh my God. I'm going to throw up," Lake complained.

Benji chuckled, and it took a lot of effort for me to swallow my laughter. "My point is I love you. Like a lot." I ducked my head. It was kind of a new thing but wasn't a new thing. Benji had pointed out a few weeks ago that almost every time I told him I loved him, I said it that way and it just kind of took off once he pointed it out. "Happy birthday." He kissed my cheek. "I know this is just the second of many that we will get to celebrate together."

I held up my glass and looked around the table. "I didn't expect this. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be out, that I'd have a boyfriend…" I looked at Benji affectionately. "That I would have all of you in my life, that you'd forgive me for everything I did when I was trying so hard not to be myself, that I would be turning seventeen in Las Vegas? I never in a million years thought that this is where I'd be today. Obviously, we didn't come here under the best of circumstances, but you all have made me feel like we're going to be okay. Thank you for this little break from Creekwood and what happened. You have made this the best birthday ever, and I love all of you. I think we're all pretty awesome."

"I don't think anyone can top that, so I say we're done with speeches. I'll toast to us," Andrew said. We started clinking our glasses together.

"You may have noticed that each of us kind of took the lead on one part of your birthday," Lake said when we'd finished our champagne. "Well, I volunteered for our after-dinner festivities."

I looked at her nervously. "What does that mean?"

"It means, we're getting lit," Lake said. She pulled, I kid you not, a birthday crown out of her bag. How did it even fit in there?

"I'm not wearing that."

"Oh, you're wearing it," she told me. "Because you deserve to shine tonight." I let her put it on my head and immediately turned to Benji.

He looked like Christmas had come early. "I'm with Lake," he said. "I think you have to wear it." He took a picture. "No point in taking it off now. This is going on Instagram."

I groaned. "Where am I wearing it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes!" I said.

"You'll find out soon enough," she said evasively.

It turned out, her plan was a gay bar. This one was like the one in New York. They didn't hesitate to let six underage people in. Lake insisted it was the birthday crown, and I wasn't going to argue with her.

The bar was magic. Literal magic. It was the first time I'd gone to one with Benji and that made such a difference. I thought the other gay bars had been like Disney World, but this was whatever was better than Disney World.

Dancing with Benji and being surrounded by people that didn't care what we were doing was amazing. Everything was amazing. I didn't need to drink. I was drunk on life; I was drunk on Benji.

We gravitated towards the edge of the bar after a few songs. I had to hand it to Mia and Andrew. Neither of them looked remotely uncomfortable. I think Andrew was actually feeling pretty proud of just how many guys hit on him.

I had a feeling Benji and I were the only remotely sober people in the bar as I listened to the karaoke. I'd thought about having a drink, but I didn't want one. It wasn't even about Benji. I was just so gloriously euphoric right now. "What do you think?" I asked Benji while two people belted out the lyrics to Don't Go Breaking My Heart.

"I think it's not what I expected," he admitted. "You talked about coming to a place like this, but… you can't really describe this, can you?"

"You probably could," I told him. "You'd be able to write an amazing song about this."

He chuckled. "No. This is the kind of thing you can only experience and feel."

"Look at you getting all sentimental," I teased. I got serious. "I need to ask you something and whatever you tell me, I'll believe you and then we can drop it and I promise I won't bring it up again. Are you okay? Being here?"

"I am," he promised. "When we got here, I panicked a little, but I'm okay."

"Okay." I leaned up and kissed him.

"Victor Salazar!" I didn't understand why the guy at the microphone had called my name at first.

When he repeated it, I turned to Benji. "What did you do?"

"This wasn't me," Benji said surprised.

Lake waved at me. "It was me. You better get up there; your fans are waiting."

"No, I…"

Lake pushed me forward. "Go!"

"I will get you back for this," I warned her. I climbed on stage reluctantly. The music started playing, but it wasn't until the lyrics popped up on the screen that I recognized the song.

It was when I got to the chorus that I realized Lake hadn't done this to make me look ridiculous. She'd done it as a reminder. I waved her up. I think she needed the same reminder. Lake joined me on stage and for a second, I felt so close to her. I realized that Lake had become one of my best friends. I used to feel like she was an extension of Felix because the only time I saw her was when the four of us were hanging out but, after their breakup, things changed without me realizing it. As we sang, I felt like the layers peeled off. Lake saw me; she really saw me, and she loved me anyway.

It was different than Benji loving me or Felix unconditionally accepting me because our connections were so different. Lake was my friend despite everything that should have kept us apart. She forgave me after I broke her best friend's heart; I forgave her after everything went down with Felix; our friendship thrived despite all the reasons it had to end.

I wondered if we were meant to get to this point. Maybe I was meant to have a friend that was kind of like me but not like me and who understood completely how terrifying and silencing it was to care so much about what other people thought of me.

Lake and I were facing each other directly when we sang the end of the song. When we finished, we turned to face the front of the bar.

Part of me expected grand applause as if the entire bar should have been aware of how much had changed in the course of a song. When I'd done karaoke with Rahim, the reception to our song had been explosive. We didn't get that; don't get me wrong, we got some drunken cheers and people had seemed to enjoy it, but it was by no means excessive. The loudest applause came from our friends. The announcer came back up on stage and called the next name before he ushered us off the stage.

"I'm gonna get some air. I'll be back in a second," I told Lake. I felt weirdly jittery as if I'd just had about fifteen cups of coffee.

I went right outside the bar and took in deep breaths of the cool air. Lake followed me out instead of going back to the table. "I'm sorry. Was the song too much?"

"No. It was exactly what it needed to be," I told her honestly. Had it been overwhelming? Yes. I'd seen the movie and that song had been played approximately ten thousand times at Brasstown, but it was the first time I actually heard the lyrics. I felt like I needed to hear it.

Benji came out next. "Are you okay?"

I glanced at Lake and she nodded. "I'll be inside."

Benji looked at me warily once Lake walked away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I told him. "I promise. But…" I sighed. "There's something we haven't been talking about, and I don't think we should keep avoiding it."

Benji looked down. "You're talking about the video."

"Yeah. It brought up a lot for me," I told him slowly. "I know you don't think it's a big deal, but-"

"That's not what I think," he interrupted. "I know it's a big deal."

"You do?"

"Of course. Someone recorded us."

"You just made it seem like it was nothing."

Benji closed his eyes for a second. "You know how when you're really, really stressed, you… lash out?" He wasn't wrong. "Well, I try to make things less serious than they are."

I stared at him because that made so much sense. It was like so many pieces of how Benji had reacted to certain things since we'd started dating just came together. I probably should've figured that out myself a long time ago. "Yeah. I can see that."

Benji smiled, but it didn't last. "When you told me we were recorded, I don't think I was able to think about it, so I pretended it wasn't a big deal. It was what I needed to do. I'm sorry for what I said. I don't think you're a prude. I love that you waited for me to have sex; it makes it that much more special."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said," I told him. "You could've slept with a hundred girls, and I wouldn't have cared. All that matters to me is that you're with me now. As you said, when I'm stressed, I lash out, and it was so easy to take everything I was feeling out on you."

"Do you want to talk about what you were feeling?"

"No, but I think we need to, don't you?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

I played with his hand in front of me so I could gather my thoughts. He didn't say a word while I figured out what I needed to say. "When the kids in my Homeroom class started giving me shit about that video and I realized what they had seen… it was the first time I felt that ashamed of myself since before I came out. I know that I'm supposed to be proud to be who I am, but…"

"I get it. It brought that stuff up for me too. I'm terrified of what we're going to face when we go back to school."

"Me too. How are we supposed to do this?"

He tightened his grip on my hand. "I know what I want. What do you want to do?"

"Why don't you start?" I suggested.

"I don't want to give this the power over me to make me feel ashamed of doing something with you that feels so right, and I think the only way to make sure it doesn't is to say that it's not messed up that we had sex but it's messed up that someone recorded us. I want to stand up for us. If people say something, I want to make what we did seem just as normal as if a straight couple had slept together. This doesn't have to be extra just because we're gay."

I closed my eyes. It made me feel like I was going to throw up to think about talking to anyone about that video or defending that we'd had sex, but I knew Benji was right. If we let people think we were ashamed, we were giving them power over us, and… part of me didn't care anymore. Or, I didn't want to care anymore. "Okay."

"Really?" He scrunched up his eyebrows.

"I need to start standing up for who I am if I ever want to be okay with who I am, and I'm not ashamed of us." I took his hand. "I don't want people to think I am just because I'm scared. I'm with you." I let a small smile spread across my face. "This is me."

He leaned over and kissed me. "You were good up there for karaoke," he said when he pulled back. "You looked like you were feeling that song."

I chewed on my lip because this was the first time we'd been alone since Lake told me about Lucy and I wasn't sure if I should tell Benji. I kind of felt like I wanted Lake and Lucy to tell him themselves.

"I had a moment with Lake when we were at that pop-up art thing. I just got a little stuck in my head," I explained. "She talked me through it. We got really lucky with her." I brought my hand up to his cheek.

"We did."

"We should get back inside," I told him.

He kissed me again. "Okay."

I leaned down and kissed him.

He pulled back. "We don't have to," he told me. "I know you don't like doing this in front of people."

"I don't mind right now." Any argument he could've made was cut off by my lips. It couldn't have been comfortable to be pressed into the rough brick wall, but he never complained. It was the first time I could ever remember not feeling self-conscious about kissing Benji in public. Admittedly, we were in the shadows cast by the light at the entrance to the bar, but I wanted to kiss my boyfriend and it felt nice not to give too much thought to who might see us.

- . - . - . -

Mia's POV

"Is he okay?" I asked when Lake returned to our table.

"Yeah. I think he just got overwhelmed," she explained. She had a troubled look on her face, so I had a feeling there was more to the story. "He and Benji are… 'talking' right now."

I snorted. "Gotcha."

Andrew grabbed my hand. "Next round's on Victor. What do you want?"

I looked at Lake. "What was it called?"

"I'm not sure. It's the lemon drink we've been having all night. Joaquin will know what you mean," Lake said.

"Do you want one?" Andrew asked.

"I'm okay. I think I'm gonna stick to water for a bit." Lake got a really weird look on her face. Lucy nudged her and raised her eyebrows. "Actually, I think it's a little loud in here, and there's something I need to tell you. Can we go outside? I'll be right there."

"Um… of course," I said. "We'll head out." Lake whispered something to Lucy before she followed us out.

Victor and Benji were practically wrestling against the wall. I looked away. I'd seen them kiss since the Spring Fling last year but never like this; they almost never kissed like this in front of people. "Hey, guys," I said. They broke apart and I could see the red in Benji's cheeks.

"Are we leaving?" Victor asked. He looked disappointed at the thought, and I nearly laughed because it kind of made him look like a sad puppy.

"No. Lake said she needed to talk to us about something," I explained. "And then I think we all nominated each other for karaoke, so we have to go back inside eventually." The bar had an app where you could sign up for karaoke, and we'd had a little too much fun with that.

"Oh, did we? Good to know."

"Yeah. Your name is definitely down at least two more times. Maybe three once you put in a song for you and Benji to sing together."

Victor glanced at Benji. "I'm game if you are," Benji told him.

"Okay," Victor agreed. "So what's up?"

Lucy went to stand behind Lake, and Lake looked like she was withdrawing into herself. She hunched her shoulder and pulled her cardigan tighter around herself.

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose as Lake started this whole speech about pizza toppings. Victor buried his face in Benji's shirt to keep from laughing, and Andrew fully turned towards the wall because none of us knew what was happening.

Andrew interrupted her while she was saying something about pepperoni. "Is this your way of telling us that you want pizza? Because they sell apps here. They're half-priced for Victor cause it's his birthday."

It was true. We'd fully taken advantage of that and the non-stop flow of free drinks that either random people in the bar or the bartenders had been offering to us. It was kind of amazing to see how Victor could work the crowd at the bar. I didn't even think he was trying; he was just so happy here and radiated confidence. It was like he was in his natural environment. It was the first time I really let myself see this side of Victor.

"No, it's not my way of telling you I want pizza. It's my way of saying that… I am learning a little bit more about myself every day, and I don't want to be scared to be who I am. Not with you guys. Because you make me feel brave and strong and like I'm exactly who I'm meant to be." This thick silence spread between us. I hoped I looked encouraging and supportive because I was 99% sure I knew what was coming. Lake looked at the ground. "Lucy is my girlfriend. We've been dating since New Year's Day, and we haven't been telling anyone because I didn't know what this meant for me. I still don't, but I really like her." Lake turned to look at Lucy. Lucy was looking at Lake like she was a goddess and had a sappy smile on her face.

"Thank you for finally telling us," Andrew said. I elbowed him hard and tried to keep an innocent smile on my face as four pairs of eyes turned to stare at us.

"You knew?" Lake asked.

"Yeah. You butt-dialed Mia during a make-out sesh a few weeks ago," Andrew explained. I elbowed him again. I thought a make-out sesh was a strong way of describing it. Though, they'd definitely been kissing a lot while they took a Buzzfeed quiz about what kind of baby animal the other was. Lake was taking the quiz for Lucy and Lucy was taking it for Lake, and they shared their answers and reasons as they went along; it was really sweet and cute and a little surprising, but mostly sweet. "Ow! Will you stop that?"

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I figured you would tell me when you were ready," I explained. If it were up to me, she wouldn't have found out at all but that's what I got for putting her on speakerphone. If I'd known what we were going to overhear, I wouldn't have, but I was in the process of getting ready to go out with Andrew and by the time I'd realized, it was too late. "We love you." I stepped forward and hugged her.

Somehow, we ended up in a group hug. "You're right. Life-changing conversations happen outside of gay bars," Benji commented.

Victor laughed. "I told you so."

I looked between them and felt like I was missing out on some inside joke.

Lake wiped her eyes. "I think I'm ready to go back inside now."

- . - . - . -

Benji's POV

The moment the words were out of Lake's mouth, I realized Victor already knew. He didn't look surprised at all and, for someone that had spent the last two months telling me that he thought I was trying to make a relationship manifest itself because I wanted Lucy to be happy, that meant something.

I made a mental note to ask Victor about it when we got back to our hotel room.

In the meantime, we followed everyone back inside. Mia hadn't been joking when she said that they'd gone overboard with the recommendations. I found out when we sat down that we must've missed them calling Mia's name and my name for a song because the first one that was called up when we got back inside was Andrew.

While Andrew was butchering a song I didn't recognize (which was saying something), Victor pulled out his phone. His face briefly contorted. "I forgot to text my mom," he muttered. "She's texted me like ten times in the past fifteen minutes. Hold on. I have to go call her." He stood up. "Stay here. Have fun." He stepped outside. Andrew went straight from the stage to the bar and returned with a tray of drinks. He put one in front of all of us. "Where's Victor?"

"He's calling his mom. He forgot to text her."

Andrew looked at his watch. "It's 2 am in Georgia."

"He was supposed to text her every morning, at lunch, and at night before he goes to bed," I explained. "I think Isabel would stay up as late as she needed to to make sure she heard from him."

Andrew raised his eyebrows but didn't comment. Victor came back in two minutes later with a small smile on his face. "She understood. She said it's still my birthday, so she's not mad that I lost track of time. She just wanted to make sure I was okay."

"Good."

"I picked our song," he said. "For karaoke. I think you're gonna like it."

"What did you pick?"

"No. No way. You'll find out when you get on stage just like everyone else. We're up in eleven songs." If I really wanted to, I could log in to the app to see the lineup, but I didn't mind being surprised.

It was almost an hour before it was our turn. When Islands in the Stream started playing, I stared at Victor.

"I know you like Dolly."

"I don't like her; I love her."

"What part did you want to sing?"

"I am definitely singing Dolly. You can do Kenny."

"I figured." He smiled big and took the microphone. "Baby when I met you, there was peace unknown," he started. He pointed towards me while he sang. He held the microphone between us when we needed to sing together. It was like the song was written for us.

After that, our night was a blur. It seemed the longer karaoke went on, the more the people around us started singing along from wherever they were sitting or dancing.

And the dancing. Wow. I'd never danced with someone like that before. It was something else. It filled me with a giddy euphoria and made the rest of the world completely melt away.

When we were taking a break from dancing and were huddled in the corner of the bar, the guy that had been announcing names all night shouted out, "Creekwood Crew?" As one, we all turned to look at Victor.

"Creekwood Crew?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It's 2 am and our plan is to be on the road by 8. That means this is our last song. I wanted us to all do something together. If you hate the song, blame Lake."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only one I know that listens to this song on repeat when you're hyping yourself up for something."

Understanding lit up Lake's features. "This is gonna be great. Let's go Creekwood Crew!"

It turned out, we all knew the song Victor had chosen. There were a lot of us crowded around a single microphone, but the song seemed to hype up everyone in the bar. The energy was amazing and I could see why Victor had chosen it. Way more than the six of us were singing by the time the chorus came around. As I sang, I felt like the words reverberated through all of us. "Cause I was born to be brave! I know who I am inside, and I won't apologize." Victor put his arm around my shoulder as we continued to sing and it felt like the perfect end to the perfect night.

I didn't know how we were supposed to sleep after that. It was a good thing we'd slept in this morning because when 4 am rolled around, we were both wide awake. I knew Victor was awake because every couple of seconds he shifted as he tried to get more comfortable. "Benji?" Victor whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep."

"Me neither."

"Do you want to watch that video?"

I rolled onto my side and saw that Victor had his head propped on his hand and was already facing me. "Really?"

"I can't stop thinking about it," he admitted. "If we're going to stand up for us, we have to know what we're standing up for; I don't want it hanging over my head when we get back to Atlanta." He reached towards me and rested his hand on top of one of mine. "This has been amazing. This chance to just be us, and I wish we could always be like this."

"It will be. Tuesday when we get back, it'll still just be the two of us," I promised him. He looked away from me, and I didn't need to look to know how doubt would twist his features. I tightened my grip on his hand. "We'll be fine."

"I know we will be," he said confidently. "But it won't be the same as it was here."

"Yeah," I said quietly. "This was nice though. You were right. We needed this."

"Sorry, what was that? Did you just say I was right?" he teased.

"I'm sure it won't happen again."

He chuckled. "Sure it won't." He sighed dramatically before he pushed himself up. He grabbed my laptop from my bag and came back to the bed. "Are we sure about this?"

"I am. Are you?"

He hesitated before he nodded. He passed me my laptop so I could log in, and I went to creeksecrets. Neither of us had looked at creeksecrets since we found out about the post. We'd let Lake give us an idea of what people had been saying but that didn't prepare us. Nothing exciting must've happened since Wednesday morning because we were still the hot topic of Creekwood. Or maybe it was just really hard to top a sex video. People were speculating that we ran away together to get married… I guessed technically we did run away with each other, but only because we were suspended. I wondered if anyone knew that part.

It was frustratingly easy to find the video. There had been so many memes and GIFs of us, I expected to have to dig, but it was right there. I wouldn't have known it was us if there hadn't been a caption because it just looked like a black screen with a play button in the middle.

Victor linked his hand through mine as I pressed play. I almost felt like I'd been slapped when the video started. Somehow, I thought I'd have a minute or two to watch us build up to it, but Joel had started it way after I thought he had.

I didn't know if it made it better that the video was shorter or worse because the first thing people saw after the video started was my butt.

It was kind of morbid to watch, and I very much hoped we never had reason to watch something like this again.

When the video was over, I closed my laptop. I felt like my mind was just empty. Almost like knowing what other people had seen had been too much for me to conceptualize, so my brain shut down instead. "That could have been worse," I said after several minutes passed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree. It's still bad, but I thought there was going to be more… just more."

"Does that make it easier?" I asked. "When you think about going back to school on Friday?"

"I don't think anything can make that easier." He frowned and then corrected, "except you. You make everything easier." He rested his head on my shoulder. "I hate that this happened and part of me even hates Joel a little bit, but we never would have come here if it wasn't for that video. We needed to come here."

"Makes it kind of hard to hate that kid," I commented. I wrapped my arms tightly around Victor and kissed the top of his head. "So much happened because of that. You got to go back to your old school, we went to the Grand Canyon, you turned seventeen."

"I would've turned seventeen regardless," he pointed out.

"Lake and Lucy are dating," I continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I went to my first gay bar."

"Who would've thought I would have experienced some gay stuff before you?" he teased. I couldn't help my chuckle. We sat and held each other for a long time until he broke the silence. "What are you thinking about?"

"I wish we didn't have to go back yet," I admitted. I knew I told him before that it would be fine, but it was going to suck for a long, long time. "I feel like we've been living in a bubble the past few days."

"Me too," he whispered. "When we go back, things are going to be so messy. I'm not even talking about the video. My parents are gonna ground me until I leave for college."

"Maybe they'll let you off for good behavior." I could practically hear his eye roll. "We'll be okay."

"I know. But that doesn't mean things aren't going to be really shitty for a while. They grounded me for four weeks for lying and saying we were going to work. It's going to be a long time before we'll get to go on a date or be alone together." He snuggled into my side a little more. "Can we just… pretend for the next-" he glanced at the alarm clock on our end table. "Two hours that we don't have to go back to the real world."

"I'd like that."

- . - . - . -

Lake's POV

Victor and Benji didn't look like they'd slept at all when we met them in the lobby. We'd gotten back just before 3, so none of us could have gotten much more than 4 hours of sleep. We hadn't coordinated, but we were all wearing pajamas. I guess we hadn't been the only ones too tired to get dressed this morning.

It at least looked like Benji had brushed his hair. I couldn't tell if Victor had bedhead or sex hair, but it stuck up everywhere. It was a pretty good look for him.

We'd planned to meet up at 7:30, but Lucy and I hadn't gotten downstairs until nearly 8. Victor, Benji, Mia, and Andrew were waiting in the lobby when we got down.

Mia and Andrew were only here to say goodbye to us, and they looked dead on their feet; at least they'd be able to go right back to bed once we left.

It was so hard to leave Mia without knowing when she was going to be back. She'd essentially put her search on hold while we'd been with her but had a list of art galleries she was going to look into once she and Andrew woke up for real today.

Victor looked like it was just as difficult for him to leave her. Sometimes I forgot that he wasn't just her ex; he was one of her best friends.

When we got to my car, Benji gave Victor a tight hug and whispered something in his ear before we all climbed in the car. Lucy was ready. She had her hood pulled over her head and sunglasses on. She was asleep before Victor had the car turned on.

"Are you going to be okay to drive?" I asked Victor. He was supposed to take the first shift because he was somehow not even a little bit hungover, but he looked exhausted.

"As long as we stop for coffee, yes," he confirmed.

I had my doubts. I'd planned to fall asleep in the back with Lucy, but I figured I could get some coffee and help Victor stay awake.

We made a quick coffee stop and Victor ordered two just for himself before we were on our way home. It was so strange to me that three days had gone by so quickly. It was like we existed in an alternate universe when we were in Las Vegas.

"I say we play Never Have I Ever," I suggested.

Victor put his blinker on and merged onto the highway. "It's 8:30 and we're driving. I don't think it's the right time for a drinking game."

"Who says it has to be a drinking game?" I challenged. "We can just play it for fun. Or we can play it for sips of coffee."

Victor and Benji exchanged glances. "You know what? Let's do it," Benji said.

"Really?" Victor asked.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Yeah. We're all friends here," I teased.

Victor sighed dramatically. "Fine."

"I'll start," Benji offered. "Never have I ever gone ziplining."

Victor took a sip of his coffee. "I wouldn't have complained if I knew it was going to be PG."

"We're just warming up," I assured him. "Never have I ever gone to church."

Victor and Benji tapped their coffee cups together before they took a sip. "Do you think if you're grounded, I won't have to go to Easter mass?" Benji asked.

Victor snorted. "You'd have to be on your deathbed to get out of Easter mass. And just wait. As it gets closer, my mom's going to try to convince you to go to Holy Thursday and Good Friday mass."

"Do I have to go to those?"

"No," Victor laughed. "If you want to go, it'll just be you and her. Pilar and I have a tradition on Holy Thursday of taking Adrian out for ice cream and my dad always conveniently works late. We all manage to be out on Friday. Good Friday mass is like two hours long."

"I didn't realize your mom was that religious," I said. Victor never really talked about his mom. We'd all watched while he took her shit, and I wondered if that was why. This didn't seem like the time to bring it up.

"Yep. I think it's my turn now." Victor took a second to think. "Never have I ever… been out of the country." Benji and I took sips of our coffee.

"Never have I ever…" A sly smile crossed Benji's face. "I think it's time to up the ante. Never have I ever had a sex dream about a cartoon."

"I regret telling you that." Victor took a sip of his coffee.

I tried to be subtle as I took a sip of my coffee, but Benji noticed. "Who?"

"Aladdin. I'm not sorry. He's hot."

Benji snickered. "Sure. Your turn."

"Never have I ever… had sex in a bathroom. Your locker room sex doesn't count."

Victor sighed before he and Benji tapped their cups together and took sips. Huh. Maybe Lucy and I were wrong. Maybe they were kinky.

"Never have I ever gone skinny dipping," Victor decided.

"I really wish you and Felix talked less," I grumbled as I took a sip of my coffee. I was surprised when Benji didn't. "You haven't been skinny dipping?"

"Not yet." He winked at Victor. Victor tried not to smile but failed epically in that regard. "Never have I ever…" Benji trailed off for a second. "Had sex outdoors."

"Really? You'll do it in a bathroom but not outside?" I asked. I took a sip.

"Contrary to popular opinion, we don't want to get caught when we're together," Benji said dryly.

"Never have I ever played a strip game," I declared.

Benji took a sip. "Drink up, Victor," he reminded him. Victor muttered something under his breath to Benji before he took a sip.

"I feel like I want to know more," I said.

Victor shrugged. "It's exactly what it sounds like. Benji taught me how to play this weird card game that his mom's family likes to play around the holidays, and we added a little twist." That settled it. They were definitely more exciting than we gave them credit for.

Benji snickered, so I had a feeling that there was more to the story, but I wasn't going to press it.

We killed hours this way. When we ran out of Never Have I Ever ideas, we played Truth or Truth (because Victor pointed out that there were only so many dares you could do inside a moving vehicle).

It was almost 3:30 before Benji said we needed to trade off. "You've been driving for seven hours?" Lucy asked incredulously when I woke her up to tell her she was swapping with Victor soon.

"Just six," Victor corrected. "We hopped time zones. We're about halfway through New Mexico."

Lucy looked at the GPS. "We have twenty-one hours until we're in Georgia? Okay, 007. You got somewhere to be?" He had to have shaved well over an hour off of our travel time. I hadn't noticed that he'd been speeding. Benji looked surprised too.

Victor grinned as he pulled up to a gas station. "Hey, babe. Do you think you could run in and get me a coke?"

"We're stopping for lunch," Benji pointed out.

"Yeah, but I kind of want a bottle, and we all know we're going to hit up a drive-through."

Benji rolled his eyes. "What kind do you want?"

"Anything with caffeine," Victor requested.

Benji nodded. "I'll be back in a second."

Victor put the rear window down before he got out to start filling up the car. His eyes were on Benji's retreating figure when he said, "okay, I need to run something by you. You can say no, but I'm really hoping you'll be okay with this."

"What's up?" I asked.

- . - . - . -

Adrian's POV

I was so excited when Jeffrey walked into our classroom Monday morning. "Where have you been?" I asked when he sat down.

Jeffrey shrugged and pulled out his Social Studies folder. He pulled out several worksheets. I recognized the top one that we'd completed earlier in the week. He must've done all of his missing work.

He went to the front of our classroom and gave them to Ms. Gallagher. We always started off our day with thirty minutes of independent reading, and I thought it was going to be the perfect chance to talk to Jeffrey, but I'd barely opened my mouth before Jeffrey asked to go to the bathroom.

He'd just walked out the door when I asked Ms. Gallagher if I could go to the bathroom too. I was surprised when she let me go, but we never tried to miss class, so I thought she believed that we actually had to go.

When I left my classroom, I saw Jeffrey heading in the opposite direction of the bathrooms. I followed him until he disappeared into the nurse's office. I suddenly got worried. I'd spent all this time thinking that he got in trouble for pushing Connor, but what if he'd been sick or something? There had been a kid in my class last year back in Texas that had some kind of seizure disorder. She'd had to go to the nurse's office every day to take some special medicine that was supposed to help her.

I sat down on the floor outside of the nurse's office while I waited for him to come back out. It was only a couple of minutes. "Jeffrey," I called.

He turned to face me. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," I pointed out. "What's going on? Are you… are you sick?"

Jeffrey looked surprised by the conclusion I'd drawn. "Why would you think that?"

"You were out for almost a week, and now you're coming out of the nurse's office."

Jeffrey looked around before he took a seat by my side. "I wasn't out last week because I was sick." He hugged his knees to his chest.

"Then why?"

"My mom kind of freaked out. You heard what Connor called me."

I honestly couldn't remember exactly what he'd been called, but it must've gotten to him. "He called you a name. He's a sore loser. What does that have to do with anything?"

Jeffrey was quiet for almost a minute. I was about ready to go back to class because we were probably almost at the point where we were going to get in trouble for missing too much. "We moved to Atlanta five months before you did," he said after a moment. "This was the only place my dad's company could transfer him to when things got bad."

"Bad? How?"

"I was bullied pretty badly." I felt my heart pound in my chest. I knew what that was like. "This was supposed to be a fresh start, but someone started a rumor that I was really a girl; it was just the rumor they'd chosen. When Amy moved here, everyone said that she moved because her parents were in jail. She told me that it was gonna get worse before it got better, and she was right. They started calling me Manly Mandy. The nickname wore off after a month or so, but some kids still bring it up and it reminds me of why I moved here."

"I'm so sorry," I said quietly. "I can't imagine."

Jeffrey started to shiver. "The thing is," he started in a shaky voice. He squeezed his eyes shut. "The rumors aren't true, but not everyone would see it that way."

It took me a second. "What do you mean?"

"I've known all my life that I'm a boy," he told me. "But that's not who I was born. My mom took me to talk to a doctor a few weeks after I turned seven because I'd been telling her for years that I was a boy; I don't remember not knowing. I think she thought he was going to say that it was a phase, but he told her most people who identify as transgender start to know between 4 and 7. Persistence made the difference between a phase and an identity, he said. Persistent and consistent. He kept saying that over and over when my mom asked if he was sure."

"Is that… is that what you are?" I asked. I'd never known anyone that identified as transgender before. I never would've guessed but that was probably the point.

"Yeah."

"How'd, uh. Er… was your mom okay with that? Is that okay to ask?"

"After that appointment, my mom sat me down and asked me a bunch of questions; she supported it right away. She asked what I wanted her to call me, and Jeffrey's what she would've named me. It was my grandpa's name; he passed away when she was pregnant with my older brother. She took me to a barbershop and shopping to get clothes that felt like me. That's why the kids at my old school bullied me. They all knew me before. I lost most of my friends because they couldn't handle me or their parents couldn't handle me. It got really lonely really fast." He closed his eyes. "When we moved here, my mom panicked when the rumors started. She almost pulled me out of school again, but they started to fade away and we found our new normal here."

"Oh." It was a lot to wrap my head around, and I looked at the Winnie the Pooh painting across from me.

"I guess this means you're not my friend anymore," Jeffrey said quietly after several minutes had passed.

"What? Why not?" I asked.

He looked down at his knees. "Aren't you mad or… I don't know, disgusted?"

"No, of course not. But why didn't you tell me this sooner?" I asked.

"It's a rule in our house. I'm not allowed to tell people. I think my mom's afraid that it'll get out and then the same stuff that happened at my old school will happen here," Jeffrey explained.

"I won't tell anyone," I promised him. "But thank you. For trusting me." And then, because I felt like it needed to be said, I added, "you're still my best friend. No matter what."

- . - . - . -

Victor's POV

I knew Benji could tell I was keyed up, but he assumed it was because we were almost home. I'd been driving since around 4:30 am, and I was kind of looking forward to not being in a car for the foreseeable future. I think we all were. It was just after 10. With our stops for coffee, gas, and food and the time zone difference, I thought we were making really good time but a full day in a car had a way of feeling like an eternity.

"I could use some coffee," Lucy said just as we were getting to Memphis. "Why don't we stop for food? I know we technically had breakfast earlier but that was like 4 am."

"Anywhere in particular you want to go?" I asked.

"How about over there?" she asked. I didn't need to look to know where she was pointing.

"Sounds good."

If Benji thought there was something weird about our exchange, he didn't say anything. I pulled off into the parking lot of the place Lucy had pointed out.

It was only then that Benji seemed to catch on. "This is a bus station."

"Yep," I confirmed. I put the car in park and got out. We were ahead of schedule, but I knew there was a diner down the street that we could walk to. I'd figured it would be better to buy later tickets than miss our bus.

"Why are we at a bus station?"

By then, Benji was the only person still in the car. I gave Lake a long hug. "Thank you."

"Thanks for letting us do something crazy with you," Lake said. She entwined her hand with Lucy's. "This is a trip I will never forget."

"Me neither," Lucy agreed.

Benji got out of the car as I hugged Lucy. Lake pulled him in for a hug. "Have fun!"

"Have fun with what?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah. So, we're not going back to Atlanta."

Benji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know we joked about it, but we can't actually never go back," he pointed out. I would've laughed if it wasn't really obvious that he actually thought I was trying to get him to run away with me.

"No, I know. We will go back. We're just making a pitstop."

"Where?"

"You'll find out tonight," I promised. I opened the trunk and grabbed our duffel bags. I passed Benji his. "Before you say anything, I already booked our bus tickets. We leave at 11:45 and I texted my mom, so we're doing this." I turned to Lucy. "Thanks for agreeing to this. Text us when you get back."

"We will. Send pictures once he finds out."

"Does everyone know?" Benji asked.

"Yep," I said. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. I was so excited.

"For the record, you're going to love it," Lucy told him. "Trust me."

I was actually kind of surprised that Benji didn't figure it out when he found out our bus was going to Knoxville. I thought that was going to be a dead giveaway, but none of his guesses on our eight-hour bus ride were even close.

- . - . - . -

Isabel's POV

The last time I'd been here, I walked in and walked out when I saw Armando flirting with Shelby. It was hard to say what I was more nervous about. To see her or to talk about what had happened to Victor.

I'd gotten a pretty emotional text from Victor yesterday that had me in tears. I had it memorized, but I pulled it up anyway.

Here's my nighttime check-in. We're making good time, and we're safe.

You're not going to like this, but I'm not going to be home tomorrow. I can't face the real world yet. That video makes me feel like I'm a chew toy, and the only person who makes me feel remotely human right now is Benji. I need him to get through this, and he needs me, so I'm surprising him with an extra stop on our trip. I know I'm in big trouble and that this only makes it worse. Once we get back, I understand that you have to ground me for the rest of my life, and I know that means I'm essentially never going to get to see Benji outside of school and work. I'm really sorry, but I'm not ready to give him up yet.

We'll be back on Thursday. I'll keep checking in.

Please don't hate me. I love you.

It was the last part that got to me. As if there was anything Victor could do that would make me hate him. Was I thrilled that he was spending more time away from home? No. But that had everything to do with the fact that I was worried about all the things that could happen to him when he wasn't safely under my roof.

It hurt that Victor was so scared of what we were going to do that he'd rather not come home than face us. I knew it was my fault. I didn't give him a reason to think that our home could be a safe space for him and Benji.

I still felt like there needed to be some consequence for an unauthorized week-long trip but I knew in my heart that couldn't involve isolating him from Benji. Not when Benji was the only person that was helping him through the fallout from the video.

That's why we were here. We were so out of our element with what had happened; we needed advice. I hoped no one else could know what this was like, but they might be able to help us figure out what to do about two sexually active teenagers.

"You ready?" Armando asked. I nodded because I wasn't sure I'd be able to find my voice. "Do you think you might want to get out of the car?"

"What do they know about me?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you ever talked about me or how long it took me to… you know?"

He was quiet for a long time. "They know you struggled," he finally said.

"Perfect."

"I'm sorry, but when I talked about how to support Victor, it came up. Especially at the beginning. They also know that you came around and that you've been doing really well with him."

I wasn't sure if that made it better. I closed my eyes for a second and nodded before I forced myself out of the car.

We were handed pamphlets as we walked in, and Armando stopped by the refreshment table to make coffee. I didn't think I could eat or drink if I wanted to. I was relieved that Shelby wasn't here. It was probably selfish, but I didn't think I could handle Armando's ex and having to talk about Victor's sex life in one night.

When the meeting started, it was just everyone introducing themselves. I didn't know what I was expecting; maybe that they'd say an oath or say the pledge or something, but it just started. When it got to me, I expected judgment, but the excitement that I was there seemed genuine.

Armando whispered to me about who was a relative newcomer and who had been here since he started coming as we went around the room.

I was surprised when the man who seemed like the leader of the group addressed Armando after we'd finished going around. I couldn't remember his name for the life of me because he'd been the first person to introduce himself. "Armando, I see you brought someone with you today."

Armando grinned. "This is my wife, Isabel. She's excited to be here."

All eyes turned to me. I felt claustrophobic but tried to push that aside. I coughed to clear my throat. "Uh, yes."

"What brings you here tonight?" the man asked.

"My son, Victor, is gay and is in a pretty serious relationship," I said. "He just turned seventeen a few days ago and, about a week ago, someone recorded him and his boyfriend… when they were together… sharing an intimate moment." There were some sounds of indignation and shock around the room. "They posted it to the school blog. It's hard enough to think about him having sex, but now his whole school has seen it. We're not sure what to do or how to support him, and we were hoping to get some advice." I thought I was eloquent, especially considering how nervous I was to be talking at all.

Just as I finished, a young man walked up to the circle. He had a slightly troubled look on his face. "Sorry to interrupt. You forgot your phone at home. Mom asked me to drop it off."

He passed it to the leader of a group. "Thanks. This is my son, Simon. He's home from living a life of debauchery up in New York."

Simon rolled his eyes. "Who even says things like that? I go to college there," he corrected. "This is my spring break."

I watched them go back and forth for a minute before I elbowed Armando. "What is his name?" I breathed under my breath.

"Simon."

"No, the dad."

"Oh. Jack."

Jack, I repeated in my head. When Simon left, Jack refocused. "Sorry about that. Let me start off by saying that it's not fair that this is happening. I can't imagine something like that happening to my kid. As a parent, I can speak to how… awkward it was when I found out Simon was having sex. If anyone had recorded him? I don't know what I would have done."

"That's why we're here. We don't know what the right thing to do is."

The response wasn't what I expected. There was a lot of outrage that someone had recorded them, but no one seemed that upset about the fact that they were having sex or that they'd done it in a public place. I felt like my mind was spinning by the time the meeting was over. We'd heard from so many parents with sexually active teens about what they thought they'd do in a situation like this.

The advice was endless - don't tell them to stop having sex but to do it safely and privately; make sure they knew it wasn't their fault; encourage them to talk about how they feel about the video; coordinate with the school to make sure they wouldn't have to see the kid that recorded him. Almost everyone that offered up advice told us we should talk to Benji's parents and make sure we were on the same page with them.

Afterward, it felt like everyone came up to us to tell us they were sorry for what had happened but how much they admired how we were taking it in stride. For the first time, I understood why Armando came to these meetings. It wasn't about being with people that could understand you; it was about being with people willing to listen and say that they didn't know everything but that they were there for you.

I had Benji's mom's phone number, so I called her from the car after we left. She answered right away and was enthusiastic when I suggested we meet up. I held my phone to my chest. "She wants to know if we'd like to go out for dinner tomorrow night."

"We'll make it work," Armando confirmed.

I brought my phone back up. "Sounds good. Text me the details, and we'll meet you there."

- . - . - . -

Benji's POV

Victor was grinning so hard as our shuttle pulled up to Dollywood. In retrospect… yeah, I should have known. He was right. Why else would we have spent the night in Knoxville?

Though I felt saying 'we' spent the night in Knoxville was a stretch because Victor essentially spent the whole night answering everyone that he'd been ignoring since last Tuesday or catching up with people. He had a long phone call with Simon and an even longer phone call with Felix and another long call with someone about March Madness (that one, I kind of zoned out during). He'd filtered through his texts and deleted the ones from anyone that he'd never talked to. He'd responded to texts from about half of his basketball team, and he was still texting back and forth with Rahim. Which was cool. It was totally cool. Rahim was telling him about his first date, which was information Victor offered up. I didn't ask. I wouldn't have, but it made me feel a little more at ease to know what they were talking about. He'd nervously told me about Pilar asking him to tutor Rahim, and I hated the idea, but I could see how much he wanted to do it, so I forced a smile on my face and told him I thought that was a great idea.

I was surprised when feelings of nostalgia and sadness filled me as I looked out at Dollywood. He took in the expression on my face. "Was this a mistake? I thought you'd like it."

"No, it wasn't a mistake," I said softly. "I just haven't been here since before I came out. My dad and I used to come every year."

"Is this a thing you do with your dad? Because I didn't mean to overstep."

I smiled and looked at him. "That's not it. We came here Labor Day weekend every single year for as long as I could remember. I used to look forward to it so much; I always started counting down at the beginning of August. A month after my accident, we just… didn't go. He didn't talk about it; the tradition just ended. I packed and everything because I wanted things to be exactly the same as they always were. I didn't want my accident and that I'd come out to change anything. I remember going downstairs for breakfast. I was wearing the Dollywood t-shirt we'd bought the year before - it was another tradition of ours, and when I asked where he was, my mom said he was working. He never worked the Friday before Dollywood because we used to leave around noon. I spent the rest of the weekend locked in my bedroom and avoiding my problems. It was like, on top of everything else, everything that I used to look forward to was taken away from me, and… I just stopped seeing why I should keep trying so hard, you know."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "That's really shitty."

"Yeah." I looked away from him. Being near Dollywood brought up so much for me. "You once asked me why I am so weird around my parents when they're, like, the most accepting people on this planet. You're right. They accept me for who I am, but things have never really been the same. We used to be close in a different way than we are now. My dad and I used to take off for the weekend to go camping or hiking all the time. If I had a day off of school? It meant both of my parents and I would just take off and find somewhere we'd never been before. We used to go on these amazing vacations every summer. To a different state or country. That all stopped when I came out. We stopped knowing how to talk to each other and be around each other. We only talk about my AA stuff now, and I hate talking about that." I shivered. "It feels… wrong to be upset about things being different when I know I have it so good. They may not have loved that I'm gay right away, but they've never been like-" I cut myself off and scrambled for something to say. Victor didn't need me to compare my parents to his mom. "Some parents that can't get past this. I never had to worry about getting kicked out or anything like that and I know they love me. I shouldn't complain."

I looked over at Victor and he looked perplexed. "Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think this gets to suck. It's a different kind of shitty than what I went through, but it's still shitty. I feel like things are close to being normal with my mom, and I can't even explain how amazing that is. I can't imagine not having the relationship with her that I had before. Your parents are missing out. I know you said things were never the same after you came out, and I didn't understand what you meant… I'm sorry I didn't try to."

I shrugged. "It's not your fault; I guess I didn't know how to explain it until now."

"Do you want to do something else? We don't need to do this."

I thought about his question for a minute. "No. I want to go," I decided. I turned to him. "This can become our new tradition. And one day, we can take our kids here and let them experience how amazing this place can be. We'll make this our own thing." Victor got a weird look on his face. "What?"

"Nothing. I just didn't know we were taking our future hypothetical kids to Dollywood." He shuffled. "Do you think about stuff like that?"

I frowned. This wasn't a conversation I'd anticipated having with him anytime soon. We were both way too young to be thinking about having kids, but I'd said what I said and there really wasn't any taking it back at this point. "I mean, I know I want kids someday," I said slowly. It occurred to me for the first time that he might not want that. We were so in sync about most things, I never thought that we might be on different pages with this. We'd never talked about it, not even in a hypothetical. "Not right now. But someday."

He ducked his head and when he looked up, he was smiling. "Me too." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "I don't want to talk about this yet, but it's something I want to be on the table… eventually. I'm not done being a teenager."

"I agree. I don't think either of us are mature enough to think about fatherhood."

"I'm very mature, thank you very much." He stuck his tongue out at me and I snickered.

"I stand corrected."

"You ready?" He offered me his hand before we walked into the park.

- . - . - . -

Armando's POV

It was hard to say who was more nervous for this dinner. Neither of us had ever met Benji's parents. Isa had talked to his mom a handful of times, but we'd had minimal contact otherwise. This dinner was probably long overdue, especially considering how serious Victor and Benji were.

Victor had told us that Benji's family was wealthy, but nothing made that more obvious than their idea of a nice, quiet, affordable place that was probably going to be the most expensive restaurant we'd ever eaten at. It was a good thing we were a two-income household now.

Benji's parents recognized us right away, which worked because we had no idea what they looked like. "Armando. Isabel. It's so nice to finally meet you. Victor speaks so highly of you." I was almost positive that wasn't true. "I'm Margaret and this is my husband, Charles."

"It's nice to meet you as well," Isa said. We shook their hands before we were gestured over to a table.

"This place is phenomenal. All of their food is delicate, and Charles's cousin makes all the desserts. She's very talented." She had this airy way of speaking that made me feel like I was speaking with royalty and not with my son's boyfriend's mom.

A waiter that was wearing a bowtie came up to our table with menus just as Isa's phone dinged. "Pilar sent me a picture of Victor and Benji. He must've posted it to his Instagram. It's cute. Look." She showed me the picture. They were on some kind of roller coaster and the picture had clearly been taken when they were upside down. Benji had the biggest smile on his face while Victor clung to him for dear life as his face contorted with terror.

She showed it to Margaret. "They're at Dollywood," Margaret said surprised. Charles looked over at the phone as well and a sad look crossed his face. "What an adorable picture."

"I can't believe Benji got him on a roller coaster. Once we had Adrian, Victor always volunteered to stay back with him the few times we went to an amusement park as a family. He pretended it was for Adrian, but we all knew. That kid is terrified of heights." Isa looked at the picture one more time before she pocketed her phone.

"Victor must really love him," Margaret said. She had an affectionate smile on her face.

"He does," Isa confirmed. "I think more than I can wrap my head around." She drummed her fingers on the table. "He's a good kid. Benji. He loves Victor enough to forgive me for what I put him through when I was… less than accepting of their relationship." Margaret and Charles exchanged looks which made me think they understood what she meant. "I have to admit that this thing that happened… I don't know what I'm doing here." She glanced at me. "We don't, but we thought it would be important for Benji and Victor's for us to be on the same page. So, what are your thoughts?"

Margaret sighed dramatically. "If it was up to me, I'd have our lawyers involved, but Benji asked us to stay out of it. He and Victor were adamant, and Benji's an adult, so there's only so much we can do."

"We did talk with the principal and superintendent," Isa started. I thought 'talk' was a very tame way of describing her angry and loud conversation with both of them on Monday. I'd been present, but only physically. Isa won that battle all on her own. "If Victor and Benji do some community service around the school, they'll be willing to remove the suspension from their permanent records. Colleges won't see that this happened. It's not much, but it's something."

Margaret and Charles exchanged looks. "That's wonderful news. After everything Benji has been through, he doesn't need more obstacles to college."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"His DUI will be on his criminal record until he turns 23."

Our waiter came over to take our orders. After he left, a thick tension wrapped around the table. It seemed to settle like a fog, clinging to everyone.

Isa was the one to break the silence. "A DUI?" she asked. "How… he's only eighteen."

"Didn't Victor tell you? Benji made it seem like he told you." Margaret muttered something to Charles that we couldn't make out, and he put his hand over hers.

I would've thought that it was really obvious Victor didn't talk to us about a lot of stuff given that this was the second time he was sneaking away with Benji in the last month. "We didn't know," Isa said. She looked like her world was spinning.

"When did this happen?" I asked.

"A little over a year and a half ago," Margaret explained. "It was before he came out, and he was struggling with who he was. He's not the same kid; he's so committed to his AA meetings and has turned his life around. He's been sober for over sixteen months."

"And Victor knows this?" I confirmed. I hated to admit it, but it made a lot of sense. We always knew there was more to their fighting than we'd witnessed. This was a pretty big thing to deal with in a relationship.

Margaret nodded. "He found out in November."

"Problems that are too big for a couple of sixteen-year-olds," Isa whispered. "Um… excuse us a minute, please."

I followed Isa to a hallway with bathrooms at the end. "A DUI, Mando? This is serious."

"It is, but what do you want to do about it? Tell Victor he can't see Benji? You're going to put him in a position where he has to choose between his boyfriend and his family, and I'm not sure he's going to choose us."

Isa looked like I'd slapped her. "That wasn't what I meant. This is a lot for a kid to handle. Obviously, he's decided that Benji is worth it, but I don't know the first thing about this."

I instantly felt bad. My instinct was to assume the worst; it was something I needed to work on because she clearly wasn't the same woman that Victor had come out to. Hell, I didn't think she was the same woman she was a week ago, and I needed to stop treating her like she was. In a weird way, I think that video of Victor changed her for the better. "Sorry. I don't really know. I think all we can do is make sure they both know they can talk to us if they feel like it's becoming a problem again and trust that Victor and Benji are working through this."

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it. You just have to deal with it. Victor accepted all of Benji's baggage, so we need to as well."

She nodded, and I wrapped my arms around her. After a moment, I pulled back. "We need to get back out there. The Campbell's are something else, aren't they."

Isa chuckled. "They seem nice enough, and they care about Victor so that's all that matters."

I stared at her. I'd thought the Campbells seemed nice, but I hadn't expected that from Isa. "You actually like them? You once called Erick's mom the devil's mistress. Should we be picking out the wedding china?"

Isa hit my chest. "Stop it."

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I said, "come on. They're going to think we escaped out a bathroom window or something."

When we got back to our table, Margaret and Charles were whispering back and forth about something. Margaret looked at us anxiously.

"Sorry about that," Isa said cheerfully.

"Are you okay? Benji really is a good kid, and Victor has been really good for him. Benji's worked so hard to get where he is." Margaret was looking right at Isa which made me think that in between 'speaking highly' of us, Victor shared his struggle with his mom, or Benji had told her.

"We have no doubt about that. I'm sorry. I just needed a minute to think but that's not why we're here tonight. Victor and Benji are… really serious," Isa said. "This is new to me. Benji is the first person Victor's been this serious about, and I know that we can't stop them from sneaking around and being together."

"I don't want them to have to sneak around," Margaret said firmly. "If they're going to have sex regardless, I'd rather them do it in a safe environment where they don't have to worry about someone seeing them. I think we need to accept that Victor and Benji are at a stage in their relationship where they're going to be sexually active because they love each other and they want to express that love. I don't need to know the details, but I have to know that they won't be put in this position again. If that's not at your apartment, I completely understand, but our house will be an option for them."

I was floored when Isa's next words were, "I agree. When they get back tomorrow, I think we should sit down with them and talk about our ground rules. Locked doors, being conscientious of whoever else is home. I have an eight-year-old, and he's too young to know what they're doing." I thought a locked door was going to be tough for Victor at our house considering only our bathrooms had locks.

"And they need to be safe," Margaret added. "They didn't use protection in that video and we need to make sure they're not taking unnecessary risks." I didn't ask how she knew that. She'd gotten the same spiel from the school that we had.

"Now. With this, I think we open a can of worms. Sleepovers," Isa said. "If we're letting them do this…" She closed her eyes. "Not if we're letting them. If they're sexually active, that has to be part of the conversation. We need to have some boundaries for them. A limit with that."

"I think we should just say they need permission to have a sleepover," Margaret suggested. "We can check in with one another to confirm we're okay with them spending the night together every now and then, but we should make it clear that it's a privilege, not a right."

"This means we'll have to periodically check in with them. I don't need to know when they're having sex, but we need to make sure we're all on the same page with this," Isa said quietly. "We can see if we need to change or add to any of our rules."

"I think we agree," Margaret said.

Charles and I made eye contact for a second and I was grateful that he seemed as uncomfortable as I felt. I was more than happy to let Isa and Margaret make the decisions with this.

We spent the rest of dinner making small talk and getting to know Victor and Benji through their eyes. I hadn't realized how much we'd missed at the beginning when Benji didn't feel like he could come over, or how much we'd missed after our apartment wasn't a safe space for them to explore their relationship. I'd prided myself on accepting Victor as quickly as I had because it hadn't been easy for me, but I'd missed every bit as much as Isa had because I'd never stood up to her. We missed moments like Victor and Benji dozing off on a couch while watching a movie, sitting on the bench swing in the Campbell's backyard to watch the sunset, and working together to paint a spare bedroom. We missed them making meals together, feeding one another small bites of their creations, and one time that Victor somehow got cookie dough in Benji's hair. We missed them making each other laugh so hard that they cried, inside jokes that we could have been a part of, and the weird things they did for each other like when Victor showed up with a bowl of meatballs after an argument (we couldn't explain that one). We missed them playing piano together, Benji trying to teach Victor how to play guitar, and them just lying down side by side on the floor in the Campbell's family room and talking.

When we got back to our apartment, I knew Isa and I were on the same page. We were done missing out on stuff.

- . - . - . -

Victor's POV

We got back from Dollywood the day we were supposed to return to school. We'd planned to be back in time, but we accidentally missed the bus last night, so we ended up spending another night in our room at the Red Roof Inn and caught the morning bus back to Atlanta. It was a five-hour bus ride, so we didn't get home until almost 1 pm. Then we had to jump on a local bus to get to the stop closest to my apartment.

We'd decided that was our first stop. We knew my mom was going to be pissed, and we figured we might as well get it out of the way. Plus, we were banking on extending our time together because she'd have to let us leave to get yelled at by Benji's parents. He didn't think they were thrilled about our extra detour.

Our week away had done wonders for us. If it taught us anything, it was that as long as we survived the drama of high school, we would thrive. Out in the real world where we could be surrounded by the people we chose… it would be as close to perfect as life could get.

We ended up putting on a movie because my mom wasn't home even though I'd texted her from the bus stop. I'd kind of expected her to be waiting outside our apartment, and I was a little thrown off by this.

Pilar must have been watching a horror movie last night because when we pressed play, the first thing we saw was an ax bury itself in someone's head. I couldn't tell you what happened after that. You'd think after a week of constant alone time, we'd have gotten some of this insatiable need to be on top of one another out of our systems, but it had taken no time for us to get used to being together without interruptions.

We weren't going to do anything but that didn't stop us from kissing like this might be our last (because it might be our last chance for a very long time). We jumped apart and sat on opposite ends of the couch when we heard my mom keying in. It was probably obvious that we hadn't been innocently sitting on the couch watching a movie that had long since timed out, but she didn't say anything about that. She walked right up to me, pulled me to my feet, and engulfed me in a hug. "I'm so happy that you're safe and that you're back." She had to have hugged me for several minutes before she turned to Benji and gave him a hug as well. "You too. I'm glad you're safe." We both waited for her rage, but it never came. Instead, she wore a smile on her face as she looked at us. "Did you have fun? Tell me everything."

"Aren't you mad?" I asked uncertainly.

"I am a little," she acquiesced. "I'm mostly relieved, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. To both of you."

I sat down simply because I felt so confused. "We're not in trouble?"

"Not really. You'll be doing extra chores for the next month, but you're not grounded. In fact, you're ungrounded. I never should have been so hard on you in the first place, mijo. I was upset that you didn't feel like you could be honest with me and rather than accepting what I did to make you feel that way, I put all the blame on you. I'm so sorry. And I have an early belated birthday present." She went into the kitchen before she returned and dropped a bag on the coffee table in front of me. "You'll get your actual gift when we celebrate properly this weekend. Benji, you'll have to join us, of course."

Benji gaped at her before he looked at me. I shrugged. I had no idea what was going on either. "What's this?" I asked.

"Open it."

I pulled a box out of the bag. "It's a doorknob."

"With a lock," she clarified. I nearly dropped it as I put it down on the table. "I'm not going to pretend to be thrilled that you're having sex, but it seems you have a particularly unlucky streak of getting caught. And, you know, third times the charm. We heard you. We recognize that you're in a serious relationship, and none of us want you to have to have sex in a locker room just because you can't have it in your home. We do have some ground rules. Be discreet; you don't need to sneak around, but we don't need to know when you're sleeping together. Lock your door so no one walks in on you. Never, ever, ever have sex if Adrian can hear you. So help me God if that kid asks about noises from your bedroom…" She trailed off, but she didn't need to fill in the gaps.

I stared down at the lock. "You're just… letting us do this?" I asked incredulously.

"We're not letting you; there's nothing to let you do. This is a decision the two of you get to make, and we're not standing in the way of that decision. Your father and I got dinner with Peggy and Charles while you were… gone. Benji, your parents are lovely."

I turned to him and, for once, he looked as uncomfortable as I felt. Peggy? I mouthed. He shrugged. Even his dad called her Margaret. I'd never heard someone call her Peggy before.

"We had a long talk, and we'd rather you have a safe space to do… whatever you need to do than have something like this happen again," she said. She looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"We would also strongly prefer for you to use condoms," she added. "We know you didn't and whether it was a one-time thing or you've stopped, you should be using them to keep yourselves safe."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Why was this a thing that needed to happen? "Mrs. Salazar?" Benji asked hesitantly. I turned to look at him. What the hell was he doing?

My mom looked at him with a weird expression on her face. "You've been with Victor ten months. I think it's time you called me Isabel."

I thought Benji was going to cry. It was an olive branch if ever there was one; my dad had told Benji to call him Armando from the very beginning, but my mom had never extended the same offer. "Isabel. I don't know if this helps, but we did talk to a doctor before we stopped using them." That was technically true, but he made it sound much more planned than the condom mishap that led to a doctor talking to us like we were two dumbass kids and explaining that we couldn't make an STD out of nothing. Benji and I had gotten tested just to be sure, but since he'd gotten tested before we slept together for the first time and that was over four months after he'd last slept with Derek, we weren't surprised when our tests came back negative. After that… well, yeah. We had many long conversations about it and made sure we were on the same page before we stopped. "It may not look like it, but we are being safe. I got tested and I'm the only person that Victor has ever been with."

"Oh my God," I groaned.

My mom looked at me surprised. "You and Mia…"

"Oh my God," I repeated. I jumped to my feet. "We're going to put that lock on the door, and then we are leaving." I pulled Benji to his feet; he looked highly amused by this whole thing which I could not wrap my head around.

I literally dragged Benji to my room. "What was that?" I asked incredulously once I shut my door behind us.

"That was your mom genuinely being okay with us," he said. His face lit up. "I didn't see it until now, but you were right. She just needed the time and space to come to terms with this."

"I told you that," I pointed out.

"I know. And I believed you… sort of. I guess part of me didn't want to get my hopes up, but that? That was a conversation she would have had if I was a girl." He pulled me close to him. "Do you, uh, want to christen this new lock?"

I kissed him gently before I pushed him away. "With my mom in the living room? Hell no. But let's get this thing on. Do you know anything about installing a lock?"

"I think we can figure it out."

It was surprisingly difficult. We turned it into a competition and deducted points from one another for the most ridiculous things. At first, it was totally normal. He lost points for being unable to line up the screws between the two knobs. I lost points for not realizing that we put on the lock so the knob with the keyhole was facing my bedroom instead of out.

After Benji deducted points from me for looking 'too hot' while working a screwdriver, I took off points from him because his 'handyman vibes' were too much to handle. It was silly and perfect and we both easily had at least negative one thousand points by the time it was successfully installed. I didn't realize until we finished that my mom had been watching us from the end of the hallway. She had a small smile on her face.

"Have fun at Benji's," she said when she realized she'd been spotted. "His mom invited you over for dinner."

"When did our moms become best friends?" I asked as we left my apartment.

"I don't know, but I think it's kind of sweet." His hand found mine. "Do you want to take the bus or walk?"

"It's a nice day and we spent five hours on a bus. Let's walk."

We were quiet the first half of our walk. "I think they needed us to go away too," he said after a long time.

"What? Who?"

"Our parents… and definitely your mom. She needed this as much as we did. I think it gave her the space she hasn't had since we started dating. It feels like things are finally falling into place with her." The biggest smile I'd ever seen crossed Benji's face. "This is the first time I've really believed that she's okay with me being your boyfriend." He opened and closed his mouth several times before he shook his head. "I can't even explain how this feels."

He stopped walking and pulled me towards him. He kissed me. It was gentle at first, but I soon realized he was talking through his kiss. Everything we'd felt and gone through and struggled with. All the frustration and fighting and doubt. He was letting it all go. As I kissed him back, I did the same. I let go of all the sleepless nights when I'd first come out after I heard my mom praying for guidance for me; I let go of all the times I'd tried to convince Benji that she was doing better just to be met with his skepticism; I let go of the doubt I never let myself voice.

When he broke the kiss, we stood there frozen in that moment of time. His hands were on either side of my face; my hands were bunched in his t-shirt. I thought we'd reclaimed ourselves in Las Vegas but that didn't compare to this moment. This moment where we'd both let go of the past, so we could finally focus on who we were in the present and the future we could have together.