Open Your Eyes

by someofthissomeofthat310

My take on what could happen if there's a season 3. *Summary inside because I don't want to take the chance of spoiling the second season for someone that hasn't seen it yet*

8. The Sweet Spot

~ Chapter 8: The Sweet Spot ~

Victor's POV

It was kind of like Benji and I were in a new honeymoon phase in our relationship; except, it was the kind of honeymoon where we'd already weathered the storm and had come out of it stronger than we thought possible. It was the kind that only came from a newfound freedom to be ourselves, and double dates with another same-sex couple, and school not completely sucking, and our parents giving us space while also making an active effort to include both of us in stuff, and feeling like everything aligned for us for the first time ever.

It wasn't even just the sex, though that was an added bonus neither of us anticipated. We strictly followed our parents' rules, and they hadn't felt the need to bring it up again, so it felt like our private life was our private life. It didn't feel like we had to have sex just because we had the opportunity to and we weren't sure when that would come again.

There was something really magical about being able to take our time and be together; we got to connect in an entirely different way now. We'd always said our relationship was more than sex and, ironically, I felt like this was the first time that was true. It should have been the opposite. Now that we had freedom with sex, I expected our relationship to revolve around it, but it seemed like it always being on the table allowed us to explore the other stuff on the table as well. It was really amazing.

Things had fallen into place with our families as well. I think we both felt much more relaxed around them. Benji didn't need to pretend that he wasn't sad that things were so different with his parents just because he didn't want to seem ungrateful, and we started something new with them. We had weekly 'family dinners' with them and every couple of weeks, we tried to do something that got us all out of the house. A week after we'd come back, we went out to a movie with his parents. It had happened by accident. They were going to see a new movie that had just come out, and Benji had mentioned that he wanted to see it. Without thinking, I'd suggested that we all go together. After a brief awkward silence where they'd clearly failed to come up with a good excuse to say no, his parents said that sounded nice. We ended up getting dinner before the movie. It was super awkward, and I felt like I spent most of the night either deflecting or forcing conversation. After the movie, I'd expected Benji's fury and, instead, I'd been met with his gratitude. He said it didn't matter to him that it had been awkward; it mattered that they'd tried.

It was the first time he'd done something like that with his parents since before he came out. Usually, his interactions with them were limited to awkward family meals - I'd been present for enough of them to attest to that. Two weeks later, we invited them mini-golfing with us, and it was still awkward but less awkward. This past weekend, we went to an escape room which was honestly too competitive to be even remotely awkward. There was no room for it… or maybe I just didn't notice because the moment the guy started the timer, the only thing that mattered was beating the clock.

It wasn't the same as it had been pre-coming out, but it was something. It became really obvious early on that Benji and his parents didn't know how to talk to each other, so I often found myself changing the subject with all three of them during family dinners and trying to steer them towards safe conversations about Benji's band or his parents' work or his extended family. I thought it was getting better, and I loved that I was always included in family dinners now, so I thought that made up for any awkwardness.

Things were better with my parents too, specifically my mom. I thought she'd been amazing with us after our breakthrough in November, but it didn't compare. Her sudden change was kind of mind-blowing. It was like she wasn't just going through the motions of liking Benji; she genuinely liked him now. Once she put in the effort to get to know him, she realized the same thing I had - Benji was awesome. I watched them have a multi-hour conversation about music the day before Easter… I say watched because I was too amazed to contribute much more than a 'yeah' or a 'that sounds good'.

She and Benji also texted each other now. Let me repeat that. They. Texted. Each. Other. Part of me thought it was weird because I seldom texted his mom unless it was to send a message to the group chat we had all four of our parents in, but I'd take the weirdness if it meant they were getting along. Once she found out he wanted to be a teacher, she started texting him funny things her students said. Like, a few weeks ago, my mom just texted him to tell him that one of her kids described a guitar as a tree with strings and she thought he would find that funny (he did). It was so sweet and, more than I could describe, I loved that my mom and Benji were getting along so well. If I had to pick one thing that kept me in a euphoric haze, it was that.

Or it could be that we'd started monthly dinners with both of our families. The Campbell's had over my whole family just two weeks ago and my parents were planning on hosting the Campbells once school got out. I loved that our parents were putting in the effort with each other as well. It made me feel like they understood that this was real.

Going out with Lake and Lucy was also kind of amazing. We always went out with them reasonably far from Creekwood because they didn't want to run into any of our classmates, but I thought it was better that way. It forced us to branch out and try some new places. There weren't any awkward jokes that we'd had to pretend to find funny during our other double dates; we got to just be ourselves. It was also really cool because when I went out with Benji by ourselves, there were always some people that made it weird, but the people who would usually stare at us or make faces didn't do that when we were out with Lake and Lucy. I recognized it was all kinds of messed up that they automatically assumed we were two straight couples, but I loved that it meant they left us alone.

School had been rough for a few days, but the novelty of us had worn off when we'd acknowledged that we weren't embarrassed to be having sex. Admittedly, it was mostly Benji that did the talking while I repressed the very strong urge to run away, but he was right. After a few days, most people stopped bothering us. We still got the odd comment, and there had been an influx in the alcoholism rumors when we'd first come back because everyone seemed to want to make sure that I'd gotten through that 'traumatic experience' without drinking. Fortunately, no one paid attention to us anymore; I was surprised by how quickly it wore off. Then again, four days after we got back from our suspension, we found out Katie Dougherty had lied about being pregnant, so I guess there was other news worthy of everyone's attention.

Other than the spotlight being off of us, I thought that what made the biggest difference at school was that Felix and Pilar had started to sit with me, Benji, Lake, and Lucy during lunch. I'd checked with Lake and Lucy before I'd asked them about it, and it had only been weird for a few days before we found our groove. It was nice not to have to split our days between the two of them and I think Felix and Lake missed each other. Once they got past the whole we-used-to-sleep-together awkwardness, I thought they made great friends.

Then there was Rahim. I'd been surprised when Pilar reached out about tutoring him, but it was something and I'd jumped at the chance. We always met at Brasstown and I honestly didn't realize how much I'd missed him until we started talking to each other again. It had been really awkward at first. Neither of us really knew how to talk to each other, and it started off with Rahim trying to avoid Geometry. Eventually, we realized that we actually had a lot to talk about.

Some of our tutor sessions lasted way longer than our planned hour because we lost ourselves in conversation over cups of coffee. He was crazy about TJ, and there was something really nice about talking about our boyfriends. It was the first time I'd been able to do something like this. Sure, I'd talked to Simon about Benji and he'd recently started telling me about Bram but, while we caught up with one another every few weeks now, it was different to have a friendship that was almost entirely virtual versus one that could happen face-to-face. Rahim got me and the more time we spent together, the more grateful I felt to have a friend like him.

Benji was amazing with it. He wasn't ready to spend time with Rahim himself, but he never complained when I started tutoring him or when our tutoring lasted way longer than it was supposed to. I'd expected and prepared for his jealousy, and I knew he must've felt it, but he never let me see it.

Yeah, you could say that everything was going really, really well. I was thriving.

Then Joel returned to school and, while he didn't shatter the perfect little world we'd been living in, he brought us back to the real world. Between Spring Break, Easter, and his suspension, we hadn't seen him in over six weeks.

Unlike me and Benji who just had to spend a day of our Spring Break repainting walls in the school to cover up graffiti and writing that no amount of scrubbing would get rid of, what Joel had done would forever live on his school record. We'd been warned on Friday that he was coming back and we were assured that he was not going to have any contact with us. With only four weeks left of school, Benji and I had both assumed that it would be pretty easy to avoid him, so I felt completely blindsided when he came up to us during lunch. So much for no contact with us.

"Hey, can I talk to you two for a second?" he asked. He was shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

I just stared. I could feel everyone at our lunch table watching me, but I couldn't make myself react. Pilar and Felix knew what Joel had done, but Lake and Lucy were still in the dark about it. We'd been careful to keep this to ourselves and that felt like a huge concession on our part, which was what made this all so confusing. It was like my brain couldn't comprehend that Joel was actually trying to talk to me… to us.

I thought it was a small miracle that no one had connected Joel's absence to that video, but there had been remarkably little speculation about where he'd been. It was almost frustrating how little people had seemed to care about it. Then again, I thought my teammates had as much to do with that as possible because one of them said that something had happened during practice one day and everyone assumed he had a bad concussion or something. I still hadn't talked to most of my teammates. We were in the awkwardly-avert-your-eyes-when-you-see-each-other phase, but I preferred it that way. Benji had made me promise that I wasn't going to make a decision until our senior year started, but I think we both knew that I'd played my last high school basketball game. It sucked to go out on such a shitty season but that couldn't be helped.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Benji managed to get out. I didn't turn to look at him, but I was pretty sure he had to be as confused by this as I was.

"Then I'll do this here. I am so sorry for recording you. It was messed up, and I never should have done it. I never meant for it to get that out of hand."

Maybe it would have stopped there except some higher being obviously hated us because someone walking past our table stopped and, in an extremely loud voice, asked, "you're the one that posted that video to creeksecrets?"

There was a ripple of whispers before complete silence fell over the courtyard.

When we'd returned to school, we'd had to deal with the comments for a few weeks, but they'd eventually faded when people realized that we weren't ashamed that we'd had sex, we were just embarrassed to have been recorded. I had a feeling our era of peace with it was over; nothing dredged up old gossip more than something new happening. I got the feeling like I was in a cage that people were gaping at… aside from the cage, I didn't think I was that far off. "Benji," I whispered. I didn't even know if my voice was audible.

Benji's hand found mine under the table. It was kind of like he had a calming presence on me. I clung to his hand and, if I held him too tightly, he didn't do anything to indicate that. "You need to go," he said firmly.

"If you just let me explain-"

"Then we'll go," Benji interrupted. He stood up. "We don't need your apology, and we definitely don't need your excuses."

I stood up as well, but before I could leave, I saw Joel's crumpled face. I followed Benji to the edge of the courtyard before I grabbed his wrist. "Maybe we should hear him out," I said quietly.

"You're kidding, right?" Benji asked incredulously. "What could possibly justify what he did?"

"Maybe nothing… or maybe he did have a reason. Does it really hurt to hear what that reason was?"

Benji pushed his hair back. "One of the things I love about you is that you want to believe the best in people, but I think Joel is just an ass who saw two gay guys having sex and thought it would be funny to take a video of that."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right," I said slowly. He was right that I was quick to forgive and quick to trust. I just couldn't shake the possibility that the Joel I played basketball with was more of the real Joel than the one that had recorded us.

Benji groaned. "And now I feel like the bad guy."

"You're not… Why would you think that?"

"Because you're making your that's-not-fair face. I don't want to keep you from doing something you want to do." He ran his hand through his hair. "Why do you want to talk to him?"

"I don't know how to explain it. I guess I'd want someone to hear me out if I ever did something like this."

"Except, you'd never do anything like this," he argued.

He wasn't wrong. I couldn't imagine any circumstances that would have made me record someone instead of running in the other direction. "I know it doesn't make sense."

"You're right. It doesn't." He sighed. "You're lucky I love you." He waved at something behind me, and I was only partially surprised when Joel ran over. "We're not doing this out here. Come on."

Benji led us to the lobby of the school where benches lined the walls. I hated to sully a place that held such good memories of lunches away from the rest of the school and periodic fake bathroom breaks because sometimes we just needed to see each other during class and three hours was a long time to wait. There was only one other person here, and she looked like she was completely absorbed in her book, so it was the only way to guarantee we wouldn't be overheard.

We probably should've sat down, but I felt too keyed up to sit still. Benji crossed his arms, and we both waited.

"I am so, so sorry," Joel said.

"Why did you do this?" I asked.

Joel started to explain and we let him talk without interrupting him. He talked for a long, long time. About how he knew he was attracted to both guys and girls but never thought that he'd be able to date a guy; how he thought about talking to me after I came out; how he saw the stuff that happened to me and got scared to talk to me; how I seemed too happy to understand what he was going through lately (Benji scoffed so loudly, I was pretty sure the girl reading at the end of the hallway heard him); how he didn't think about recording us, he just did it and didn't process what he'd done until we'd left; how he meant to delete the video, but then his curiosity got the better of him and he decided to rewatch it; how things had snowballed from there.

When he finished, I had to turn my back to him for a minute because it wasn't what I expected, and I was so torn.

On the one hand, I knew what it was like to have a secret like that and how confusing and isolating that could be. I couldn't claim to have been perfect; I'd hurt people when I was trying to figure my stuff out. Really, was I any better? But, I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I rationalized. That didn't change the fact that I had; whether it had been my intention or not, I'd hurt people. I could understand the lengths he felt compelled to go to for the sake of his secret. I certainly couldn't cast stones when I'd cheated on Mia because I was so afraid to be honest with her.

On the other hand, I couldn't fathom that he'd recorded us in the first place. He'd kind of glossed over that as something he'd done without thinking of, but whose instinct was to record someone when they walked in on something like that? It made me feel sick. I tried to put myself in his shoes, but even when I was questioning, I couldn't imagine doing something like that. I didn't know if I'd ever fully forgive myself for kissing Benji when we were both in relationships, and I didn't think that compared to what Joel had done.

I took several deep breaths but didn't have much luck with calming myself down.

When I spoke, my voice was shaky. "You were my teammate; I thought I could trust you. You had no right to record us. I can forgive you for posting the video because I get what it's like to be so scared of who you are that you'd do… just about anything to hide that from the world. But I can't forgive you for recording us, not yet. I'm sorry; I need more time." I sighed. "But if you need to talk, you have my number. I know what it feels like to be all alone." I glanced at Benji. "And I know what it feels like when you don't have to be alone anymore." Benji's incredulous expression softened before I looked back at Joel. "You need to find a different way to figure your stuff out because what you did wasn't okay. Think about how you'd feel if someone did this to you! You'd never trust that person again, and you'd feel like something amazing had been reduced to-" I cut myself off. Yelling at Joel wouldn't make me feel better. It would only add to my anger. "I hope you find it in yourself to be proud of who you are for exactly who you are because, before you can expect other people to accept you, you need to accept yourself. Good luck, Joel."

I turned to Benji and offered him my hand before we walked away. We only got around the corner before Benji pulled me into a hug. "You were right," I said quietly. "I guess I didn't really know him."

To my surprise, Benji didn't agree. "I wasn't right. He had a reason. You're not the only one that knows what it's like to go to… extreme lengths to keep your secret secret. Honestly, Vic, compared to me and Joel, you did everything right when you were in the closet."

"No," I told him. "No, I didn't. I thought you said nothing excused what he did."

"Nothing excuses it," he confirmed. "Believe me, I will never forgive him for what he did. For recording us or for posting it, but he did remind me of how lucky I am to have such a forgiving boyfriend because if you were even a little less forgiving, I don't think we would've worked out our stuff. I know you said you can't forgive him for recording us, but I know you will because you forgave me and you forgave your mom and you've forgiven everyone that has ever done anything wrong."

I ducked my head. "I forgave you because that's what you do when you love someone," I told him. I honestly wasn't sure I'd be able to forgive Joel for this, and it was a weird feeling for me. "It's different with him."

Benji brought his hand to my cheek. "Hey, there's only room for one person in this relationship to hold grudges against other people," he teased. "If you can't forgive Joel then I'll have to forgive him and that just won't work."

I knew he was trying to cheer me up, but I couldn't bring myself to even humor him with a smile. "This is gonna get ugly."

Benji looked troubled. "It was already ugly, but it's gonna get uglier." He glanced at his watch. "Come on. There's ten minutes left of lunch."

"Where are we going?"

"You look a little green," Benji said. "Are you feeling sick? I think we should go see the nurse."

"You want to ditch school?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah. My money's on Mrs. Jacobs letting us go without asking any questions."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think word travels that fast."

"Okay then. Loser buys the other froyo once we're out of here," he suggested. I hesitated. "What? You don't have any tests or quizzes today. You've already had PreCalc and Chemistry, so are you really gonna miss anything that you can't read in a textbook? History will be there tomorrow; you can ask Lucy or Felix for help if you need to. Let's get out of here for a few hours; otherwise, you're gonna be grumpy when we get to work and, I love you, but I don't want to deal with that. Plus, I'd love some free frozen yogurt."

I sighed as dramatically as I could. "You're such a bad influence. Fine." I took his hand again. "I think frozen yogurt tastes better when it's free. Shame you won't find out."

He snickered. "Whatever you say. But when I win, I'm stocking up on the toppings."

Benji was right. Of course, he was right. He'd didn't even get his full excuse out before Mrs. Jacobs said she was sending us home. We didn't go home because, as Benji said, a deal's a deal.

"You're right. Frozen yogurt does taste better when it's free," he said while we were sitting at our table. We ended up getting one bowl to share and both of our spoons were sticking out of it.

I grabbed a spoonful of frozen yogurt and rubbed it under his nose. "But does it smell better?"

"Definitely," he confirmed. He leaned over and kissed me, effectively spreading the frozen yogurt to my face as well. I laughed into the kiss. "I'm trying very hard not to be insulted that you find kissing me to be so funny." That only made me laugh more. I didn't think what he said was particularly funny; I wasn't 100% sure why I was laughing. Benji brought his hand up to the corner of my mouth. "I wasn't so sure I was going to see this smile anytime soon."

I shrugged. "I guess frozen yogurt is the antidote to shitty people."

He snickered. "Alright. Whatever you say." He took another bite before his phone vibrated. He glanced at it. "My mom wants to make sure we're okay. Mrs. Jacobs called her to let her know she sent me home because I was sick and she assumed you were with me."

I groaned. "That means she called my mom."

"Yeah, well. My mom texted the group chat, so your mom found out regardless. Do you want to answer or do you want me to?"

"How about we just don't answer for a bit?" I suggested. "If you're sick, you're probably napping and you might not have seen that message." He opened his mouth, probably to argue about why we shouldn't put this off, and I took that chance to shovel in a spoonful of frozen yogurt.

He looked so ridiculously surprised. I found my laughter bubbling out of me. After a moment, he started to laugh too and, eventually, we were hysterically laughing at absolutely nothing while we sat at our little table.

- . - . - . -

Mia's POV

I didn't think I'd actually hate California if we had to move here. We spent two weeks in Las Vegas trying to find out anything we could about my mom while gallery after gallery told us they'd never heard of her. It wasn't until I saw a painting of myself on the wall in one that we found out she'd gone by a pseudonym in Vegas - Monet Brooks. Probably because she was violating some kind of contract by displaying her work while the gallery she'd ditched was still traveling.

Once we started asking for Monet Brooks, we chased her to Los Angeles where it had been easy to find the group of people she'd lived with. She'd lived in a one-bedroom apartment with six other people. I was pretty sure that had to be some kind of fire code violation, but the woman who seemed like the leader of the apartment, Ginger, was incredibly friendly and constantly brought home random stragglers to feed. We'd politely declined her invitation to sleep on the floor in favor of a motel in the area that offered beds, but it was nice of her to offer to accommodate us.

Ginger had a ton of stories about my mom that she was willing to share and some of the people that floated in and out of her apartment seemed to know my mom too.

We were waiting for some guy named Malcolm to come back. According to Ginger, if my mom had kept in touch with anyone, it was him, but she had no idea when he'd be back. "He's a free spirit," she'd told us. "That's why he clicked with your mom so much."

I tried not to think too hard about the clicking part.

While we waited, we explored. There was so much to do in Los Angeles. Everywhere we looked, there was something we'd never seen before. Andrew and I were constantly pointing out celebrities, people that looked like celebrities, random people that were dressed up around the city. It was amazing.

Don't even get me started on the artwork. It made it worth it to spend four weeks waiting for Malcolm to show up. We were still waiting. I didn't know how much longer we could justify staying here, but I hoped we'd be able to wait for him.

There was an unspoken knowledge that Stanford was a five-hour drive from where we were staying, but neither of us brought up the possibility of going to see the area. I think we wanted to pretend that I'd find a way to stay in Atlanta even if my dad still took the job. After some digging, we'd found out from Veronica that my dad had told the guy from Stanford that he needed some time to think about whether moving was right for his family. They'd elected an interim president in the meantime. I thought that must have made it more difficult to figure it out because they clearly wanted him. He still hadn't said anything since I'd found out about that and, a couple of times a week, I checked the Stanford website to see if they posted anything about their new president, but there hadn't been any news yet. I didn't know what he was waiting for, but he had just under two months to figure it out because I knew the position would start July 1st if he took it.

We visited Ginger a couple days a week. She had my mom's portfolio of paintings that she'd completed while she'd been living here. I had to admit, my mom was talented. Really, really talented. Her paintings seemed to tell a story of loss and tragedy that spoke to me so intensely. On the flip side, some of her paintings were so nauseatingly joyful. I didn't know what she'd tapped into to paint them because she certainly had never been that happy when I knew her. Maybe it was her freedom that exposed her to a previously unknown level of joy. The thought made my heart twist into knots.

I was sitting on Ginger's ragged couch (and was trying very hard not to think about how many germs were probably living in the cushions) when her apartment started to shake. Ginger didn't look concerned at all. She stayed exactly where she was and continued her knitting as if this was the norm.

"What do we do?" I asked Andrew.

"Aren't we supposed to stand in a doorway or something?"

"I think so. Does that count?" There weren't a lot of doorways; the apartment was pretty open but there was an arch that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"Ginger? A little help," Andrew said.

"It'll pass in a bit," she said. "This isn't a bad one; it won't last long."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Is stuff falling out of cabinets? Have my photos fallen off the walls? Do you see cracks in the ceiling? No, we're good."

I looked at Andrew who looked torn. "I say we stand over there just in case. It couldn't hurt to be cautious."

Ginger seemed to find that highly amusing. "Watch out for flying appliances."

I glanced at Andrew because I wasn't sure if that was something we needed to watch out for. It didn't make a difference. By the time we came up with a plan, the shaking stopped.

It was my first earthquake. "Is that it?"

"Told ya so."

A few minutes later, first reports on the earthquake started to hit. "They said it was a 3, but I don't know what that means."

In response to my findings, Ginger scoffed, "a 3? That's it? The earth barely shook, girlie. You want to hear about an earthquake? There was a bad one in '94. That was before you was even a thought. We lost a lot of people. My brother was one of them."

"I'm so sorry," I said softly. I sat down on the couch.

She shrugged. "He died doing what he loved. That earthquake hit us at… 5 am I think, and my brother was in uniform within minutes to help anyone that might be hurt or trapped. He didn't think about getting hurt or trapped himself. He was one of the good ones."

"He was a police officer?" Andrew asked.

"Firefighter," she corrected. "Damn good at his job." She grinned at me. "You took this better than your mom. We had a small earthquake, probably smaller than this one, at the beginning of November. Really spooked her. I always wondered if that was part of the reason she left."

"You're sure she didn't say anything?" I confirmed.

"Nothing. I went to sleep one night and when I woke up, she was gone."

I looked away because I knew exactly what that was like.

- . - . - . -

Benji's POV

I was late to work because I'd stopped home to grab something from my room. When I got there, Victor was already making coffee for someone. Sarah was saying something to him, and he had a forced smile on his face. He kind of looked like he needed to be rescued.

"Sorry I'm late," I said as I pulled my apron over my head.

"It's fine. Victor told me you had to meet with one of your teachers." Sarah went into the back and returned a few seconds later with her purse. "I left a to-do list for you to do on my desk," she told me. "If it gets busy and you don't get to everything, that's fine, but I absolutely need one of you to update our 'Specials' sign with our weekend ones before you leave today. Check the schedule for those. And Benji, if you use anything up today, add it to the inventory list. Double-check that it's accurate and sign off on it before you leave. I'm placing the order when I get in tomorrow morning."

"Got it," I confirmed. I waited for Sarah to leave before I gave Victor a quick kiss. "Thanks for covering for me. You didn't need to lie. You okay? You were quiet at school today."

Victor shrugged. "I'm fine." I didn't even need to say anything before he sighed. "Is it messed up that I feel bad for Joel?"

I'd had a feeling that that was what this was about. By the time we'd gotten to school on Tuesday, it seemed like the whole school knew that Joel had been the one to record us. Even the people that had been telling us we got what we deserved for having sex in the locker room had turned on him. The past three days had been rough for him. He couldn't walk from class to class without someone calling him any number of… really bad names or striking a pose and asking him if he wanted to take a picture.

Today had been particularly bad because someone had taken a picture of Joel in the locker room and it was circulating with the caption 'locker room perv'. Joel had been wearing clothes… mostly. He'd been shirtless and our classmates were being less than complimentary about it. Lake had shown me a post that, if I had anything to say about it, Victor would never see where people had voted on who they'd rather see shirtless. Victor almost unanimously won, but I didn't think that made it any better, and I didn't need Victor to feel more guilty about this whole situation.

"It'll wear off once the next scandal hits." Victor still looked uncertain. "You can't help him with this. He made his bed, now he has to lie in it."

"Okay, Margaret."

"That's not fair," I told him. Then I thought about it. "God, am I turning into my mom?"

Victor chuckled. "You might be but that's okay. I like your mom." Truer words had never been spoken. Things were still weird with my dad, but I got the idea that my mom had missed me as much as I'd missed her. She'd gone to a PFLAG meeting with Armando about a month ago and came back looking more at peace than I could ever remember her being. We couldn't take back the last two years, but we were creating some semblance of the relationship we used to have.

"I know. She likes you too. That's why you're part of our family dinners."

"And I thought it was just because she knows that I'll compliment her baking." The smile on his face didn't last.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He wrapped a rag around his hand. "I just feel like he doesn't deserve this," he muttered.

"He doesn't," I agreed. Victor looked at me surprised. "I may not like the kid and I may hate what he did, but I'm not a monster. One sec." I ran to the back and returned with an empty crate and my bag. "I just don't think it's on us to fix this for him. He did something really shitty, and we get to be mad about that." I put the crate on top of the counter. "Now, you've been moping for three days. No more." I pulled the small rubber basketball out of my bag. Victor usually played with it when I was practicing guitar in my room - I even had a basketball net on the back of my door now for that exact purpose. I figured we could play a modified game while we were here.

Thursdays could be really busy or completely dead. There was seldom an in-between. We had three people sitting at tables aggressively typing away on their laptops but, other than that, Brasstown was empty.

I tossed him the basketball. "This is a one-time offer because I know you're upset, and I want you to not be upset. Let's play."

He caught it with ease. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

He'd brought up the possibility of playing basketball together a few times, but it hadn't panned out. I could enthusiastically cheer him on at his games (because he somehow made something as dull as high school sports fun), but I had little to no interest in actually playing. If he pressed it, I would've played with him months ago, but he was usually happy to do something both of us wanted to do instead. "Yeah, well. This isn't going to be real basketball, but however you want to do this, I'm in."

I was taken aback when he fully kissed me before he shot the basketball into the crate. "This is going to be so much fun." I stared at him. "What?"

"Nothing… you just… you seem happy. Like confusingly happy considering you were upset ten seconds ago. I'm not complaining; it's good to see you smile again. I'm just wondering."

He shrugged as he retrieved the basketball. "I've been waiting almost a year to play basketball with you. Even if it's like this, I'll take it."

"I didn't realize you wanted to play with me so badly."

"I didn't want to make a big deal about it. I know you don't like basketball, and it felt like enough that you come to my games," he told me. He shot again from the furthest spot from the crate and easily made it in.

"Yeah, but I would have played with you," I pointed out.

"I don't doubt it," he assured me. He tossed me the basketball. I threw it towards the crate, but it bounced off the edge. He grinned. "Did you actually aim, or did you just throw it and hope for the best?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you want to shoot around?"

"We could play horse." He glanced over to where the basketball had rolled almost all the way across Brasstown and was under one of the corner tables. "Or we could play pig versus northern mockingbird."

"I'm sorry. What?" I asked.

"Adrian and I used to play it when I could convince him to shoot around with me. Because he didn't have as much practice as I did, when I missed a shot he made, I got the letters for pig. When he missed a shot I made, he got the letters for northern mockingbird. I always made sure he won, but I made it a close game."

Honestly, I could picture that so vividly. "Why northern mockingbird?"

"It was the state bird of Texas," he explained. "Adrian chose it. You could always pick your own if you'd rather."

"Why mess with tradition?" I didn't think I had a shot of winning no matter how many letters my animal had; I probably wasn't going to be afforded the same luxury as Adrian. "So, we just shoot around?"

"Sort of. I'll let you shoot first. You can move the crate if you want. If you make it in, I have to make it from the same spot or I get a letter. If I don't miss it, you get to pick a new spot. We'll switch once you miss." I wasn't offended that he said once I missed and not when one of us missed. I wasn't exactly known for my athletic ability.

"Okay then."

He ran to retrieve the basketball and passed it to me. I squeezed it tightly while I thought about where to shoot from. I couldn't think of a position where I'd be able to make it and Victor wouldn't. I just needed to hope that I'd get lucky.

I didn't. We played the entire night with the exception of a random rush of people around 6, a few pauses to help someone that came in, and for a few minutes so Victor could write out the Specials sign while I did inventory because Victor reminded me that we were, in fact, here to work.

Victor obliterated me, but I didn't mind. It was surprisingly fun. I thought it had more to do with Victor than it did with the actual basketball. I had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time we played together, and I wasn't dreading that idea. Victor made it a close game. I honestly thought it was a testament to his skill that he managed to make it so that the score was P-I to N-O-R-T-H-E-R-N-M-O-C-K-I-N-G-B-I-R. I would've thought it was cocky that he made it that close, but he never seemed to mess up, so I thought he earned his cockiness.

Sure enough, Victor's last shot was right after we'd closed at Brasstown. He made this ridiculous one where he shot it halfway across Brasstown. I didn't have a prayer of replicating. I was impressed that I got it in the general vicinity.

"That is the most fun I've had playing basketball in months," he said. He leaned back against the counter and closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"What's different?" I asked. He'd talked a few times about how he missed the spark he used to feel playing basketball. His missing spark had kind of been put on the backburner when everything went down in March, but he obviously hadn't forgotten.

"I don't know." He frowned and bit his lip. "Maybe that this is the first time I haven't had to think about playing basketball; I just did it."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"It's like… when my teammates see me, they see that I'm gay. I think I can't get out of my head because of that. I'm their frame of reference for what it means to be gay; it's hard to focus just on basketball when I know that."

"You know that you don't actually represent all gay people," I said slowly.

"No, I know. It's not that I think that. I just know that I'm the only gay person that they spend time with. If I say the wrong thing-"

"Then you're human," I interrupted. "It's not your job to be the perfect gay around them." I hooked my hand around his ear. "You always put all this extra pressure on yourself to make everyone happy and to be perfect for everyone else, but… you're awesome just the way you are. I think the best thing you can do is be my basketball star boyfriend who plays because you love it. Let them see that you make mistakes just like anyone else and that you play the game you love for the sake of playing it and that you're unapologetically you. Let them see that that's what it means to be gay."

"You make it sound so easy." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. "I'll try."

"Mmm. Not out here. Do you want to take this into the back?"

He wordlessly took my hand and pulled me after him. I took that as a yes.

- . - . - . -

Pilar's POV

"Oh, good. You're home. Do you think the two of you could help me with something in the kitchen?" I didn't realize my dad was talking to me until he shook my shoulder. "What do you say?" I'd thought it was weird when my dad suggested we watch a movie together, and I had a feeling we were getting into his ulterior motive.

"Yeah. I was heading there anyway to grab my dinner." Victor dropped his bag off in his bedroom. He looked tired but happy, which was a nice change to his brooding behavior lately. "You coming?"

It was two against one so even though I was comfortable where I was sitting and was in a bizarre but highly competitive text message strand with Felix where we were trying to caption pictures of animals dressed as humans, I forced myself to my feet.

Victor was pulling his dinner out of the oven when I walked in. "What's up?" I asked.

"I wanted to run something by you. I need you to promise you won't tell your mother. This needs to be top secret."

I glanced at Victor uncertainly. "What's going on?" he asked.

"You know that your mom and I went through a rough time for a while. Well, we're doing good now. We think we're going to keep seeing Carmella through the summer, then we're gonna talk to her about stopping." I wasn't going to say I was bitter that I only recently found out they were in therapy when Victor had known since they started, but it was annoying that they'd kept it from me for so long.

"That's great, papi. I'm really happy to hear that," Victor said. He was practically glowing. Their separation had been hard on all of us, but I felt like it had secretly been the hardest on Victor. Not that you'd ever know because he'd never admit it. I only knew because I'd overheard him talking to Benji about how he felt like he made their problems worse because he was another thing for them to fight about. Benji had told him it wasn't his fault, but I didn't think Victor ever believed that. It had been a long time ago. I thought they'd been dating maybe a month at the time, but I never forgot.

"Thanks, flacco. Because we're in a good place, I want to do something to commemorate that we got over this hurdle."

"What did you have in mind?" Victor asked.

"I want to ask her to renew our vows."

I stared at our dad. "Oh my God," I whispered. "I think that's a great idea." I think I surprised all three of us when I hugged him. I'd been skeptical about whether they were going to stay together. Things looked great on the outside but that had only made me more suspicious. We'd been the perfect family in Texas - dorky and weird, but perfect. I'd had trouble believing that history wasn't going to repeat itself. This, though? He wouldn't be doing this if he wasn't sure they were okay.

I stood next to Victor once I stepped back from our hug. I felt like I couldn't contain my excitement.

"I want to make it like a proposal. Do you think you might want to help?"

"Anything you might need," Victor said immediately.

"Could you keep your schedule open next Saturday? I want to recreate the day I asked her out."

"I don't think I know this story." Victor sat down at the kitchen table and looked at our dad surprised. I took a seat next to him while our dad sat across from us. "You've talked about how bad your first date was, but not about how you asked her out."

"I'm sure we've told you," my dad said.

Victor shook his head adamantly. "No. I would've remembered." He looked at me. "Do you know it?"

I shook my head. "I'm with Vic. You've only talked about your first date and how you met."

"This is a good one." He rubbed his hands together and pulled up his sleeves. "I walked her home after work one day. This was before cell phones so if you wanted to know if someone got home safely, you walked them to their door." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He didn't have a cell phone until he started working, and he loved to bring that up. "I asked if I could walk her home, and it took us almost two hours to get there because we kept getting sidetracked. We walked through a park with this bridge over a pond because she insisted it was a shortcut. At the end of the bridge, there were these flowers, and I picked one and tucked it in her ear. Then, when we were halfway across the bridge, we stopped. She wanted to look at how the moon and stars were reflected over the water or something, but I couldn't look away from her. She was, and still is, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. One of the most beautiful women," he corrected as he gently reached for my hand. "I took her hand and said, 'it can get pretty lonely. Maybe we can keep each other company one night'."

"You did not say that," Victor laughed.

"I did; it was very smooth. She laughed at it too, and said she'd been worried that she was going to go grey before I asked her out." He ducked his head and smiled. "We spent an hour on that bridge talking. I've said this before but that's what I fell in love with. She was so easy to talk to and I felt so connected to her. The rest is history."

Victor had a sappy smile on his face. "That sounds really sweet."

"How can we help?" I asked.

"Here's my plan."

- . - . - . -

Felix's POV

Pilar was in a really good mood at lunch on Friday. Really good. I didn't want to be suspicious of my girlfriend, but I certainly hadn't put her in such a good mood because this was my first time seeing her today.

"What's up?" I asked as I sat down. Victor was just as happy as Pilar; though, Benji was whispering something in his ear, so it was hard to say whether it was related.

"It's a secret," Pilar said mysteriously.

"Is it?" Benji asked. Victor elbowed him and shot him a warning look.

"You have to be kidding me," Pilar said. "Dad asked us to do one thing!"

"Technically he asked us to do a bunch of things," Victor protested. "Besides, he only told us not to tell mom, and I don't think he'll mind. Benji will be helping out anyway, and I couldn't help it! I'm so excited."

Pilar scoffed. "You didn't even make it a day!"

"He actually didn't make it more than five minutes," Benji said smugly. "He went outside to FaceTime me so your mom wouldn't hear." Benji looked at Victor and it was one of those looks that made me feel like I was watching a moment between them. "And everyone at this table knows the only reason you haven't told Felix is because this is the first time you're seeing him."

Pilar glared at Benji while Victor laughed into Benji's shoulder.

"I'm feeling a little left out," I said. "As the other Salazar boyfriend, I think I have a right to know."

Pilar crossed her arms. "No. Because, unlike someone, I can keep a secret."

Benji bit his lip, and I was surprised when Victor was the one to speak up. "Right. Like you didn't tell Felix about Joel or about what happened when we got back from Vegas or why I have a lock on my door or-"

"Okay, okay. I get it," Pilar interrupted.

"So, are you going to tell him, P? Or do you want me to?"

Pilar sighed dramatically. "Fine. Our dad is proposing to our mom."

"To renew their vows," Victor added. "He said if they'd gotten divorced, this would have been how he proposed to her again, but since they didn't, he's gonna be a bit extra for his vow renewal proposal." Ah, that explained all the happy vibes. "He's gonna ask her on Saturday and he has this really cute idea for how to do it. They'll hopefully do their renewal ceremony on their anniversary at the end of summer or next fall, depending on when my aunt is ready to travel with the baby. He wants us to be a part of the proposal."

"That's amazing! You guys. How excited is Adrian?" That poor kid had been trying to parent-trap Isabel and Armando the entire time they were separated.

"He doesn't know. The proposal is a surprise for him as well," Victor explained. "I think our dad wants to make up for everything Adrian went through when they were separated. It was a lot for a little kid."

"Shh," Pilar hissed as Lake and Lucy sat down. I didn't know where they spent the first ten minutes of lunch every day because when Victor had first suggested we merge our lunch tables, I wasn't sure if I could ask. Now, too much time had passed.

Things were weird when they sat down. "Are you guys fighting?" I asked uncertainly.

"What? What would we be fighting about?" Lake asked defensively.

I glanced at Victor, but he was looking at Benji. Benji nodded once. "Luce, I think I want to buy a drink. Do you want to come with me?"

Lucy stood up and followed Benji to the vending machines. It didn't look like he was trying to buy a drink, but Lucy did start animatedly talking to him, so I figured he was getting what he wanted.

"Uh, Lake. Are you still good to drive to Benji's concert tomorrow?" Victor asked.

"Of course," Lake said. "We wouldn't miss the chance to see our bestie perform. Lucy has a catering thing that afternoon, so I'm picking her up right after she gets off of work."

Victor looked immensely relieved, and I couldn't figure out why. "Great. So since three-fifths of our group live in my apartment building, are you cool with picking us up there? I know it's out of the way…"

Lake shrugged. "It's fine. It starts at 7?" Lake confirmed.

"Doors open at 7. I don't think he performs until 8, but he's heading over right after we got off of work, so I want to get there early. And Benji's hooking us up with backstage passes. Actual backstage passes. Not hang-out-in-a-parking-lot backstage passes. He has a backstage now." Victor looked so proud and excited. It must be kind of surreal to be dating someone whose music was becoming a real thing and not a coffee house thing. He got a far-off look on his face and didn't zone back in until Lake snapped her fingers in his face. "Sorry."

"Welcome back to our lunch table," she said sarcastically. "I'll swing by your apartment… let's say 6:30?"

"Sounds great," he said enthusiastically. He turned to Pilar. "Does that work for you? When are you done with Rahim?"

"I'll be back before then," she assured him. "We just have to finish our stupid science project."

"If you're cool with it, I'll come over at 6," I decided.

He rolled his eyes. "See you at 5:45."

"You so get me."

He chuckled before he glanced back at Benji and Lucy. I followed his gaze and was surprised to see how troubled Benji looked. He gestured over to our table and I quickly looked away so it wouldn't be obvious that I'd been watching.

"What is going on?" I asked uncertainly.

"Nothing," Lake said. "Lucy's got some family stuff going on."

"Oh." I got that. I knew firsthand how stressful that could be.

"How's your mom doing?" Lake asked. She looked nervous to be asking. I didn't blame her. We hadn't talked about my mom since the wedding and that was almost six months ago.

"She's good. Really good. She's been going to therapy and got a job. It seems like she's sticking with it this time," I told her. I was so proud of my mom.

"That's amazing." Lake's smile was so big and genuine.

Benji and Lucy came back then. She looked better when she sat down. Benji whispered something to Victor. He frowned but didn't say anything back. To the table, Benji said, "so, Sarah wants us to start a 'would you rather' board at Brasstown. She thinks that people will be more likely to come in if they get to vote with their purchase." Benji dramatically rolled his eyes. "We were supposed to figure out some prompts last night but we got… busy, so we didn't have a chance to. I told her that we'd make the board tomorrow morning during our shift. Any suggestions?" Lake opened her mouth and Benji hastily added, "they need to be family-friendly."

Lake closed her mouth and let out a sound of indignation.

"Eat only pancakes or waffles for the rest of your life," I suggested. "Watch Marvel or DC. Have fingers for toes or toes for fingers. Have the power of invisibility or super speed."

Benji stared at me. "That was quick," he said surprised.

I grinned. "We used to own the 'Would You Rather' card game. My mom and I would play and if we picked different answers, it turned into a big debate until one of us changed our mind. It was always a wild time in the Weston household."

"You should come to Brasstown tomorrow," Victor suggested. "Help us put together the board that we were supposed to make last night." The slightest accusatory tone entered his voice.

"Plus, if you come towards the end of our shift, you can talk to Sarah if you want to work at Brasstown again this summer. She's already stressing about the schedule," Benji added.

"Yeah, alright," I agreed.

- . - . - . -

Isabel's POV

Pilar told me she was going out with Felix as she ran out the door. That left me the unpleasant task of asking Victor and Benji if they could skip their date night to watch a nine-year-old.

They were in the living room when I went to talk to them. They were leaning against opposite arms and their legs were entwined between them. "Hey, guys."

Victor looked over at me. "Are you going out?" he asked.

"Yeah. Your father wants us to try this Thai place; then we were going to walk around. I know it's last minute, but is there any way you'd consider staying in tonight to watch Adrian."

"We're supposed to go see a movie," Victor said slowly. "We'd planned a double date."

"I'll owe you one weekday sleepover. No questions asked," I offered. I'd learned it was a sure-fire way to get Victor to agree to just about anything. I'd been leary the first time they spent the night together on a school night, but Victor had kept his door open most of the night and they genuinely seemed like they were just doing homework until they went to sleep. I think they were trying to be on their best behavior at all times, and I wasn't going to complain.

"Deal," Benji said before Victor could answer. Victor looked at Benji with his eyebrows raised. "We can watch that movie any time. They'll understand. Tonight, we'll make dinner for the three of us. We could try that pizza recipe we found last week. It'll be fun!"

A small smile settled on Victor's face. "That does sound fun," he agreed. Benji squeezed his hand and it made my heart swell. "When are you going?"

"About half an hour. Your father is taking a shower, then we're heading out."

Victor nodded. "Okay." He nudged Benji's knee with his toe. "Do you want to get started on the crust? The whole reason we couldn't make it last weekend was because we were too hungry to wait for the dough to precook."

"Let's do it," Benji agreed.

"I'll check in before we leave," I told them. I watched them as they went into the kitchen. Benji put on my apron while Victor took out a mixing bowl. I couldn't hear what they talked about, but sometimes, I just liked to watch them. It was the small things that reminded me of how much of their relationship I'd missed. It made me so happy to know Victor had someone like Benji in his life, but it also made me so sad that I'd missed out on getting to know someone that was as fiercely protective of Victor as I was but still managed to balance out some of Victor's impulsiveness. They were good for each other.

It was really obvious in moments like this where Benji and Victor both had huge smiles on their faces. They were so in sync. I thought it partially came from all the practice they had working together at Brasstown, but there was something else as well. They had a way of bouncing off each other and complementing one another that made this seem so natural.

I forced myself to go back to my bedroom so I could finish getting ready. Armando walked in while I was putting in my earrings. His hair was combed back the way I liked it and he wore a red button-up that was tucked into his jeans. He looked good. Really good. "Wow."

He chuckled. "You could've put in some effort," he teased. "Look at me. Flawless. Then look at you." I slapped him lightly. "No, you look beautiful." He rested his hands on my shoulder.

I looked at our reflections in the mirror. I didn't realize I was smiling until his fingers traced the edge of my lip. "What has you in such a good mood?"

"Everything," I told him. "We're doing okay. Us. Pilar. Adrian. Victor. It was a little rocky with them for a bit, but they all seem good right now. Victor and Benji are somehow completely unaffected by what happened in March, Pilar is so happy with Felix, Adrian's… Adrian. I feel really good about where we're at lately."

Armando chuckled. "We haven't had a sweet spot in a long time," he observed.

I nodded and brought his hand to my cheek. For a moment, I let myself think about that. "A long time," I echoed. It was what we'd always called it when we slipped into a period where we weren't fighting and our kids weren't in trouble. It had probably been years since it had happened. Drama had seemed to cling to our family recently, and I knew I was a big part of the reason it had. I desperately hoped this sweet spot would last because these were the moments I felt closest with them all. I didn't want to give that up.

"You almost ready?" Armando asked.

"Yeah. Just give me a minute."

Armando was in the kitchen when I came out. Benji and Victor were leaning against the counter. "Is it safe to come in or do I want to wait over here?" I asked. The last time Benji and Victor had cooked together here, they'd turned the kitchen into a cooking war zone. They'd cleaned everything up when they'd finished, but it had still nearly given me a heart attack to see that mess.

"It's safe," Victor promised. "We're been cleaning as we go along."

I walked towards the entrance of the kitchen and looked around before I committed to walking in. "Not bad," I agreed. I was definitely going to have to go over it tomorrow morning, but they tried. "We won't be out too late. Adrian is going to his classmate's birthday party in the morning, so no matter how hard he tries to convince you he can stay up and watch a movie, he can't. He needs to be in bed at 8:30."

"We got this. It's not our first time watching Adrian," Victor reminded me. "Have fun."

I gave Victor a quick hug and kissed the top of his head before we left.

- . - . - . -

Adrian's POV

"Hey, papa. We were thinking homemade pizza for dinner. You cool with that?" Victor asked as he walked in my bedroom. I hastily pressed the power button on the side of the iPad.

"Sounds good."

"Then you can come make yours. We finished baking the crust, so you can choose your toppings."

"I'll be right there."

Victor looked at me curiously. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I hopped off my bed. "What kind of toppings do we have?"

The better question probably would have been what toppings didn't we have. There were pieces of pepperoni, peppers, onions, sausage, spinach, and several different types of cheese. It kind of looked like they'd raided our fridge and had taken anything that looked like a pizza topping. I was actually reasonably confident that that's what happened.

Victor and Benji had already made their pizzas and it looked like they'd split them into quarters so, between the four slices, they used all of the toppings.

I ended up doing the same. "Do you want to play a game while they cook?" Victor asked. He carefully put the pizzas in the oven.

"No. I can just wait in my room."

Victor and Benji exchanged looks. "Sit down." Victor very seldom used an authoritative tone with anyone, so I found myself listening. I sat down on one side of the kitchen table while they sat down across from me. "What's going on?"

I looked down at the table. "Nothing."

Victor sighed. "I can't make you tell me but whatever it is, you can trust me. If…" Victor looked up at the ceiling. "If something like what was happening in Texas is happening here, you let me know. We'll help you."

"It's nothing like that," I promised him.

Victor looked skeptical. Benji leaned over and whispered something in Victor's ear before he squeezed Victor's hand. Victor only nodded.

"Then what's up?" he asked. "Don't say nothing because I know you, and you don't act like this when it's nothing."

I looked away from him and crossed my arms.

He moved so he was crouching in front of me. "Hey," he said softly. "You don't keep stuff from me. Whatever this is, I…" he glanced at Benji. "We can help. Have I ever let you down?"

"No," I reluctantly acknowledged. I took a deep breath. "When you came out, was it really bad?"

Victor looked at me cautiously as he leaned back on his feet. He never talked about it. When he came out to me, and I found out he'd been out almost six months, I hadn't thought to ask him about the time I hadn't known. I'd just assumed that he had waited because no one told me anything because they thought I was too young. I'd been wondering lately if there was more to it. "It was fine," he said slowly.

"You always do this," I complained.

"Do what?" he asked. He went back to his seat and looked at me expectantly.

"You expect me to tell you everything but never tell me anything. You treat me like I'm a baby. I'm not. I'm nine years old. I'm old enough to know what really happened. When mom and dad separated, I didn't find out until dad found an apartment and that stunk. I didn't find out about you until you'd been out for months. I can handle the truth."

Victor looked like he was going to argue, but Benji put his hand on Victor's elbow. They stared at each other for a long time. Victor sighed. "It was… weird. Some people were really great, and some… struggled with who I am. I wanted to tell you the whole time I was out, but not everyone agreed that you were ready to know."

"Like mom?" I asked. I wasn't oblivious. I'd been able to connect the dots to the weird tension that had sprouted between them for months.

"She did the best she could," Victor said after a moment.

"Did you ever wish you hadn't done it?"

"Never," he answered immediately. "Why are you asking me this?"

"My friend, Jeffrey, told me six weeks ago that he's transgender. He wasn't born a boy but that's who he is. I've been trying to look up some stuff about how to talk to him, but mom has something on the iPad that blocks a lot of the websites I've tried to get into. Things have been weird since he told me, and I don't know if it's because he regrets it or if I'm doing something wrong. I just want my friend back."

"You're not doing anything wrong," Victor assured me.

"It's possible that he's acting the way he thinks you want him to act," Benji told me.

"What do you mean?"

"Not everyone is as much of a rockstar when they come out as your brother was." Victor rolled his eyes so hard I was surprised we couldn't hear it. "When I came out, I was terrified. I made assumptions on behalf of everyone in my life because it gave me a little bit of control over something that was out of my control. If I thought someone didn't want me in their life, I took the decision away from them and started to push them away. The more I pushed without someone pulling me back, the more I felt like I'd been right. The friends that didn't let me pull away are the ones I still have in my life."

"So, you're saying he's waiting for me to pull him back?" I asked.

"It's possible, but everyone's different; it could be something else," Benji admitted. "Being transgender is different than being gay. My friends that aren't cis… they try to explain it to me sometimes, but it's a whole different experience. I probably understand better than someone that's not gay, but I can't fully understand it because I've never been anything but a guy."

"Sis?" I asked uncertainly.

"Cisgender," Benji clarified. "It basically means that you identify as the gender you were born as."

I vaguely remembered reading about that when I'd been doing research, but I hadn't paid much attention to it.

"You should try talking to him," Victor suggested. "Clear the air with him; make sure he knows that this doesn't change anything."

"Will that work?"

"It's a start," Victor said quietly. "All you can do is put in the effort. The rest will be up to him." He took Benji's hand. "When I came out, all I wanted was for everything to be the same. I didn't want it to change how people saw me, and the worst was when the people closest to me didn't think I was the same."

"Are you going to tell mom and dad about him?"

Victor hesitated. "No," he said after a long time passed. "If you want to tell them, you can, but we won't."

"Do you… do you think they'd be okay with it?" I hated to ask, but Jeffrey had told me about how he'd lost all of his friends when his parents let him start dressing like a boy, and some of them had been because of other parents.

Victor closed his eyes. "I want to say yes; both of them have changed a lot since I came out but, like Benji said, being trans is different than being gay, and I just don't know."

"Then I don't want them to know," I said in what I hoped was a convincing voice. This whole idea of having to keep things from my parents was relatively new to me.

Victor nodded but still looked troubled. "If you need to talk about this more, we're always here for you, papa." Victor's phone went off. "Ah. Pizza's ready."

Victor disappeared into the kitchen. Benji looked at his hands. "Your friend," he started. He sighed. "You need to be prepared to accept that this is a part of his life you can't understand."

"What do you mean?"

"You can listen," he said. "And you can be there for him, but you can't go into the conversation thinking that you'll understand what he's been through. He is so young and when someone knows themselves that well when they're that young… other people have an even tougher time accepting that it's real."

"I don't understand."

Benji closed his eyes. "I wish I could explain it better. All I can say is be prepared to listen to him. Don't try to tell him you get it." He glanced behind him where Victor was putting the pizzas on plates. "Part of the reason that Victor and I work is because we've admitted to each other and to ourselves that there are things that we won't understand. It seemed like a curse at first, but it's such a gift and has opened us up to some really great conversations that have only made me feel closer to him. Give Jeffrey that gift. Give him the chance to explain without making your own assumptions."

"Okay," I said. I felt like my head was spinning. "I can do that. I don't want to make this worse for him."

Benji looked down at the table. "You're a lot like your brother, you know that?"

"Is that a good thing?" I asked uncertainly. Benji had a weird look on his face which was the only reason I questioned it. I thought if I grew up to be like Victor I was in a pretty good place.

"It's a great thing," Benji confirmed.

- . - . - . -

Rahim's POV

I was unprepared for how big TJ's house was. I mean, he'd told me his dad did something with aerospace or whatever and his mom was a geneticist; it was part of the reason that TJ went to the school he went to. His parents didn't allow anything but perfection.

When he pulled up to his house after picking me up from school, I was kind of mindblown. It was a mansion. I whistled as we walked towards his front door.

TJ grinned. "What do you think?"

"It's…"

"Big?" he guessed. "Yeah."

"And you said we were crazy rich."

"If the shoe fits," TJ pointed out.

"Yeah, well look where the other shoe is." I looked around outside again. "I like it. It kind of has a cottage meets Buckingham Palace vibe."

TJ chuckled as he keyed into his house. "I've been waiting weeks to hear what you were going to say about this."

"You always could have brought me over sooner," I pointed out.

"Yeah… I wasn't sure if you were ready to meet my parents. They're a lot." He'd talked briefly about them; for some reason, he didn't like to bring them up much. I'd drawn my own conclusions, but I was patiently waiting for him to confirm them. His parents were away at some conference this weekend. It was one of the reasons he'd invited me over.

As I took in the photos hanging on the walls and propped on little tables in their foyer, I was starting to think there was a reason that he hadn't brought them up. "Is that them?" I asked surprised. I picked up a frame with a photo of TJ posing with a couple that was on a table inside the door. They all had solemn faces and looked like they were attending a highly formal event. I was kind of mind blown by how young his parents looked.

"Yeah."

I frowned as I looked closer. "I don't want to sound racist, but-"

"I'm adopted," he confirmed. He looked away. "I don't like to talk about it."

I put the picture frame down. "Why not?"

"It's a whole thing. When people find out I'm adopted, they always want to know about my birth parents, and… that's hard for me to think about. When I was younger and people found out, I felt like I became a novelty. The white, Irish kid with a tragic backstory and Japanese parents? Yeah, my classmates got a kick out of that. When I got into Galileo, it seemed like a fresh start. None of my friends there know. They haven't met my parents. And, honestly, you're one of the first people to look at the pictures we have here. I didn't think I was going to have to tell you anytime soon." He looked so uncomfortable.

I took his hand. "You don't have to tell me about it yet," I promised him. The drama queen in me was dying to know what had happened, but I could push aside my morbid curiosity. "I want to understand at some point, but we don't have to talk about it tonight."

TJ looked torn. "Do you want to go to my room? We can talk there."

I nodded and TJ led me up a flight of stairs. The second floor of the house was divided into two wings, and TJ's bedroom ended up being so much more than a bedroom. He had a fireplace and his own bathroom and enough space that I thought we could fit my entire school in here. There was a nook that looked like a study and an entire wall made up of bookshelves. "Wow. TJ, this is amazing." I span in a circle and looked around. "It looks really nice in here. I'm impressed."

"I can't take credit. My aunt is an interior decorator. When we moved here, she went through and did everything for us."

He took a seat on his bed and I sat down next to him. "Is that your birth aunt or adopted aunt?" I asked curiously. I wasn't sure if that was the right terminology.

"Birth," he said quietly. "Her husband went to school with my dad… my adoptive dad; they work together now. It's how all of my parents met. They all became best friends and my birth mom nominated them as guardians in her will if anything happened to her. They never thought anything would actually happen." He shuddered. "They were only twenty-four… My dad had just finished his Master's program and wanted to get his doctorate. My mom was only halfway through her program. They weren't even married, but when… everything happened, they didn't hesitate to take me in."

"They sound amazing," I told him.

"They are." A small smile crossed his face. "They've done everything for me. And they never make me feel bad for missing my birth parents; I felt a lot of guilt about it when I was little, like I was somehow letting all four of them down. My mom and dad sat me down and told me that it was okay to miss my birth parents. They said that I should be proud to have four parents to love. Loving four people didn't mean I loved one of them any less."

"Wow, I have goosebumps." I really did. "How old were you when it happened?"

"Seven. Sometimes, I can't even remember what my birth parents looked like, but finding out that they were dead? I remember it like it happened yesterday. My aunt had been watching me. My mom and dad knocked on the door with these sad looks on their faces, and they talked to my aunt in the living room. I remember my aunt literally fell to her knees and started to sob." TJ started to shake, and I draped my arm over his shoulder.

I waited until he calmed down to speak. "You don't need to tell me what happened," I told him. I brought my hand up to his cheek. "You don't need to tell me."

He took several deep breaths. "It's really hard for me," he whispered. "Whenever life happens, I think about my birth parents and I wonder if they would've been proud of who I've become. It really messed me up. Especially when I came out. My parents accepted me before the words were out, but I'll never know if my birth parents would've."

"Of course they would've," I said softly. "They would have been crazy not to. I mean, how could they not be proud of you? You're an actual genius." He let out a small chuckle. "You're so sweet. You're really good at ice hockey which I feel like should contradict the genius part, but it doesn't. And you're really cute."

"I'm cute, am I?" I felt a relief unlike any other when the smile spread across his face.

"You know what I mean. You don't need to tell me everything else. When you're ready, I'd love to know your story, but for now? We could do… other stuff."

He brought his lips to mine for a second. "You're really okay with that?" he asked.

"Hmmm let's see. Unpack childhood trauma. Make out until it's time for your party." I pretended to weigh my options with my hands. "Yeah. I'm cool with making out."

"You are very good at it." He brought his lips back to mine and we ended up horizontal on his bed.

I loved kissing TJ. I would say it was one of my favorite activities. It was the only time that I felt like I could actually turn my brain off, kind of like some animalistic instinct took over (who knew I had that?) and all that existed was me and TJ. I didn't think I'd ever feel like I'd had enough. We hadn't had sex yet, but I was pretty sure we were getting close to it. I definitely was. The idea no longer filled me with terror, and instead filled me with excitement.

Too soon, TJ pulled back. His hands didn't leave my face, and he was breathing as heavy as I was. "Wow," he murmured.

"Wow," I echoed.

"Are you ready to meet my friends?"

"Are you sure we have to go right now? You have this big comfy bed."

He chuckled. "After my friends leave, we could always come back to this big comfy bed in this big empty house."

My eyes widened and I pulled back a little bit. "Is that a real offer?"

He bit his lip. "I think it's something we should talk about, don't you?"

"Then we better go meet your friends so we can come back here." He leaned over and kissed me one last time before we climbed off of his bed.

It was nearly half an hour before anyone showed up, but then they showed up all at once. They were all chill with me. TJ had a small group of friends, and they all seemed to care about him. We ended up sitting in his family room.

For about an hour, it was bliss. They were hilarious, even if I felt stupid compared to them. I watched TJ and his friend, Sharon, go back and forth for ten minutes about the mechanics of some kind of jet used in the air force. TJ transformed with his friends. It was so interesting to see him amongst people that were just as smart as he was. I knew he dumbed down stuff for me, but he didn't have to hold back with them.

Despite the fact that he'd dragged TJ to a gay bar, it was my first time meeting Nathan. Nathan was one of the few people that TJ had been friends with before he started at Galileo and was the only other person here that didn't go there; every now and then, he would make eye contact with me and dramatically roll his eyes at whatever brainiac thing they were talking about. I liked Nathan. TJ had told me that when he came out, he'd been worried that Nathan would stop being his friend (because his other best friend had), but Nathan had been on board right away. He'd always been TJ's biggest supporter, going as far as to bring him to a gay bar on New Year's Eve to get his mind off his recent breakup.

At some point, we decided to play charades and we all had to put in a movie title. It was wildly hilarious because, other than me and Nathan, they may be geniuses, but they could not act. TJ was in the process of trying to act out Monster-in-Law. I knew I should've guessed because I knew almost right away (it had been my submission), but I was enjoying this too much. He was stomping around like Godzilla; how was I supposed to stop that? It was worth the sacrificed point.

Then someone rang his door. "Saved by the bell," he muttered. I followed him when he went to answer it because I assumed it was another one of his friends. When TJ opened the door, I knew that he had an unexpected guest. "Josh." I felt my heart drop. I knew Josh. TJ had told me all about Josh, the ex-boyfriend. TJ recovered quickly and gave Josh a long hug. I didn't think it was just me being dramatic. It was a really long hug. Long enough that it made me distinctly uncomfortable. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you were having people over. I thought I'd come and liven things up. I brought vodka."

TJ's hand went to the back of his neck. That was his go-to flirty move. I would know. I'd seen him use it about a hundred times on me. "Sweet. Wow, it's so good to see you."

"Yeah. I'm sorry for how everything went down. I just needed some space after that," Josh explained.

"I get that." I coughed to clear my throat because I honestly thought that TJ had forgotten about me. His surprised, "oh" confirmed it. "Josh, this is my boyfriend, Rahim. Rahim, this is Josh."

Josh shook my hand. "It's nice to meet you, man." Considering he was trying to break my hand, I sincerely doubted that. I wished TJ would have told me that his ex looked like he was about to be drafted in the NFL.

Josh went to the family room, leaving me and TJ alone. "So that was Josh," I said quietly.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry," TJ said. "I can tell him to leave if it'll make you more comfortable."

"No, don't do that," I said. I didn't want Josh to be here, but I thought it set a poor precedent if I couldn't survive one night with him. It helped that TJ told him I was his boyfriend; surely, if there'd been any lingering feelings, he would have called me his friend or something. I kissed him quickly. "We should get back. I don't want your friends to think we're running off or anything."

TJ chuckled but led me back to his family room. I kind of wished I'd told him to ask Josh to leave when I had the chance because when we jumped back into our game of charades, Josh ended up on TJ's team and it became really obvious really quickly that they were flirting with each other. I would've tried to tell myself that it was in my head, but TJ's other friends periodically shot me uncomfortable looks, so I knew I wasn't blowing this out of proportion. The more they flirted with one another, the more on edge I found myself becoming, and the more I tried to blunten that edge with a drink.

When Josh put his hand on TJ's knee and TJ made no attempt to remove it, I jumped to my feet. "Bathroom," I muttered. I didn't know why I bothered to give an excuse. I doubted TJ even noticed I was leaving.

The vodka I'd drunk hit me when I climbed to my feet, but I made it to TJ's bedroom despite how much the world was spinning (I thought this was impressive because I had to climb stairs). I took deep breaths as I sat down on his bed. So, he clearly still had some feelings for his ex. That didn't mean anything, did it? It was natural for some of that stuff to linger. I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world if I expected him to just be over his ex, especially considering how hung up I'd been. But that had gone away when we started dating, I reasoned. When I hung out with Victor now, I didn't think of what could have been if he'd chosen me. I just enjoyed spending time with him as friends.

And maybe TJ was flirty with everyone, and I just didn't notice until Josh was there because it was natural to be nervous around your boyfriend's ex. Maybe I was blowing this whole thing way out of proportion.

I had to have been in his bedroom close to thirty minutes (it was hard to tell if time was moving slower or faster while the world spun around me) before TJ's door opened. I felt myself letting out a sigh of relief. If he was coming to check on me, that meant everything was okay. Except, when I looked up, it wasn't TJ that had come to see me.

- . - . - . -

Victor's POV

After an intense game of Scrabble that Benji was still bitter about, we put Adrian to bed. Benji was still trying to find proof that Adrian had cheated and I ran my fingers through his hair to distract him. "My boyfriend: the rockstar. I like it," I teased in an effort to cheer him up. Typically, mentioning his upcoming gig was a great way to boost his mood and distract him.

"You're getting ahead of yourself. He just said he wanted to hear us play again," Benji reminded me.

"And how often does that happen? You get to be excited about this. Even if it ends up being nothing, it's amazing that he took an interest, right?" I said enthusiastically. I couldn't wait for Benji to perform tomorrow. He'd only found out on Wednesday that some band had their opener drop out, and Benji's band was the first one they thought of. Admittedly, they were opening for a band I'd never heard of and Benji only vaguely knew, but it was still a huge step.

They were all excited; their music was kind of taking off.

"It is kind of cool," he acknowledged. "If he likes us, this could change everything."

"What does that mean?" I asked. "What could that look like?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "We started the band as a way to let loose and have fun. Most of us have been playing together for years, and we never thought we'd go anywhere with it."

"Do you want to go somewhere with it?" He'd always said music was just a hobby, but it was definitely becoming more than that. He'd had three major gigs since Christmas; tomorrow would be their fourth (and their biggest).

Benji looked perplexed for a minute. "I think I owe it to myself to see where it might go."

"I repeat. My boyfriend: the rockstar."

He chuckled. "You're still good to go, right?"

"I'll have to check my calendar. I might have really important plans," I teased. I ran my hand through his hair. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it. I'm not going to be the boyfriend that's not there when Benji Campbell makes it big."

He rolled his eyes. Before he could say anything else, I leaned over and kissed him. I didn't try to do more than that. Adrian had only just gone to bed, so I wanted to give him at least an hour before we went to my bedroom. That kid was notorious for needing water or needing to use the bathroom or claiming he forgot to brush his teeth.

We couldn't have been kissing more than five minutes before there was a pounding on the door. I pulled back and jumped to my feet. My parents and Pilar would have no reason to knock, and an ominous feeling settled around me.

When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Rahim. He hadn't been over here since the day of Harold's wedding. We'd strictly stuck to public places for our tutoring. It was easier for everyone that way. "Rahim."

I stepped aside so he could come in. "Is Pilar here?" he asked once the door shut. "I really need to talk to her. It's important." His voice wavered. It was the only indication that he was upset about something. There was something else too… he was slurring his words. Was he drunk?

"No. She's out with Felix." Rahim hunched his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." His voice cracked on the last word.

"Rahim, what's wrong?"

He let out a choked sob as his face crumpled.

I didn't have to think about it. I pulled him towards me in time for the waterworks to start. He was hysterical. I'd never seen him like this before. Something was very, very wrong. He clung to me as he sobbed into my shoulder. When he calmed himself down, he apologized profusely.

"You don't need to be sorry. Do you want something to drink?" I led him to the couch. I looked at Benji and hoped that I looked as incredulous as I felt.

"Water, if you don't mind," Rahim said. It was a good choice. He reeked of alcohol, so he probably needed some.

- . - . - . -

Benji's POV

Victor disappeared into the kitchen and, after a minute, I joined him. I wrapped my arms around him so my hands rested on his stomach.

We stood like that for a minute before he turned to face me. He'd made no progress with getting Rahim water. "You okay?"

"Are you?" I deflected.

He glanced over my shoulder towards the living room. "I'm doing a lot better than him."

I closed my eyes for a second before I leaned up and kissed him. Victor wasn't aware of it yet, but I was making a choice. I was making a choice to trust him and to put him first. I was making a choice to be who Victor needed me to be at that moment, and it felt like the hardest decision I'd ever made. Victor pulled back. "Be good."

"I am. I'm gonna go," I said quietly.

"You don't have to. I didn't know he was going to be here."

"I know that," I assured. I finally looked over at Rahim. He had his hands clasped in front of him, and he seemed entirely unaware of what was happening in this kitchen. "Rahim needs a friend right now, and you need to be that friend. Whatever he's going through, he's not going to tell you in front of me, so I'm gonna go." I kissed him again. "Call me later."

He squeezed my hand. "Thank you."

I left Victor's apartment and wished that I wasn't jealous of Rahim. I trusted Victor, I reminded myself. I knew he wasn't going to do anything with Rahim. And this was a good thing. I knew how much Victor cared about Rahim. It would be good for them to hang out when Geometry wasn't involved.

I repeated those words in my head over and over. They were all true; I didn't need to convince myself of that. It was also true that Victor was about to spend an undetermined amount of time with someone that he'd once kissed and whom he had once felt some type of attraction towards. I'd forgiven Victor and I trusted him completely but that didn't mean I wasn't irrationally jealous of his friendship with Rahim.

I sighed. Why couldn't it be as easy as me trusting Victor? I knew before I'd made it more than a few steps that I needed to be around people right now. If I wasn't, I was going to spend that time thinking about what Victor and Rahim could be talking about and that wouldn't help anyone. I would just start to spiral.

I called Lucy while I walked. Lake answered her phone. "Hey, Benji." Her voice kind of sounded strained.

"You're not Lucy."

"I'm not? Thanks for letting me know."

"Sorry. I was going to see if Lucy was free. I didn't realize you were still going out tonight after we canceled."

"We're not. We're just chilling at Lucy's. You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Fine."

"That's not your 'I'm fine' voice," she said. "Come be our third wheel. We're just gonna pop some popcorn and put on a movie."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll tell Lucy when she gets back in here. She's trying to get her granddad back in bed."

"Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes."

I hung up and turned around to head towards Lucy's house.

- . - . - . -

Lake's POV

I tapped Lucy's phone against my hand while I waited for Lucy to finish up. She was going to be pissed that I invited Benji over because it would mean we couldn't finish talking.

I went to find her as the minutes ticked away because I thought the only thing worse than delaying our conversation would be Benji just showing up because I hadn't warned her.

I found her standing outside her grandpa's door. The door was cracked open, and she looked like she was listening intently. "Uh, hey. Benji called. He sounded weird, so I invited him over. He should be here in a minute."

Lucy looked at me incredulously. "Really?" she asked.

"He did sound weird," I told her. "I don't know if he and Victor got in a fight or what, but he was looking for you." Her phone buzzed before I could continue my excuse. "He says he's outside."

She sighed. "Can you go let him in? I want to give him…" she pointed towards her grandpa's door. "A few more minutes to make sure he's really sleeping."

I let Benji in and we waited for Lucy in her bedroom. She came in ten minutes later. All signs of her frustration with me disappeared when she looked at Benji. He did look pretty bad. "What's going on?" she asked him.

For a minute, Benji was silent. Then he filled us in on Rahim and how, even though he trusted Victor completely, he was struggling to be okay with the fact that Victor and Rahim were all alone right now.

"I'm glad you came here," Lucy said. She reached across her bed and grabbed his hand. "Really. You made the right choice." Benji nodded, and I got the feeling that I was missing something.

"How'd it go with your dad?" he asked. He looked back and forth between us. "Did you end up telling him?"

"Yeah. It went really well," I told him. We'd told her dad tonight. He'd been surprised… very surprised. Her brother had been smiling so big I was shocked it fit on his face. Her dad asked if she could watch her grandpa so he could get some work done, but we were pretty sure that he needed to go process what we'd told him.

"Except, now we're getting cold feet about telling Lake's mom." I could hear Lucy's frustration. That had been our agreement. Telling our parents was going to be our next step, but the thought of telling my mom made me feel like I was choking.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "We agreed we would tell her before the school year is over," I pointed out. "We still have three weeks left."

"Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" Lucy retorted.

I groaned. "Can you tell her she's being crazy?" I asked Benji.

He looked deeply uncomfortable. "I am staying as far away from this as I can. Lake, you mentioned a movie?"

We put on a movie, but I didn't think any of us watched it.

It was almost a relief when the credits rolled and we could put some space between the awkwardness that had sprouted between us. "I can give you a ride home," I offered to Benji.

"That would be great; thanks."

"I'll be out in a minute." It didn't take much for Benji to pick up on that hint. Maybe he wanted to get away from the awkwardness as well.

I turned to Lucy. "I don't want to fight about this. I will tell her; I promise. I'm just not ready to yet."

"We've been together over four months. The longer we wait, the more likely that she is to be pissed that we've been sneaking around. When are you going to be ready?" Lucy asked.

I looked down because I honestly didn't know. "I'm trying; I swear. Please, just give me some time."

She sighed before she leaned over and kissed me. "I can give you some time, but I can't wait forever. It's too hard being stuck in this in-between with you."

I kissed her again. "I know; it's hard for me too," I told her. "I promise. Soon."

"Okay." I could tell she was still unhappy about it, but she didn't know my mom. She was great with some things but this? Me being in a relationship with a girl? Not a chance. She wasn't going to kick me out or anything, but she'd be frustrated because this was a major change to the future she wanted for me. I knew my mom loved me, but she cared so much about my future that sometimes she forgot that I was the one that needed to live it.

I squeezed Lucy's hand before I left. Benji was leaning against my car and was looking up at the sky.

"Ready?" I asked as I unlocked my car. He climbed inside.

We were both quiet while I drove. Benji didn't make a single comment about how I was a danger to society which honestly worried me. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to what happened tonight than his jealousy over Rahim and it made me feel nauseated. Victor and Benji had always seemed so solid to me. Aside from a couple of weeks forever ago, I'd never doubted that they were meant to be together.

"You gonna be okay?" I asked once we got to his house.

He nodded. "Yeah." He hesitated. "Will you?"

"We'll figure it out."

"I don't want to overstep, but maybe you should talk to Victor about this," he suggested. "He was terrified to tell his family, but he still did it. He, more than me and more than Lucy, might get how you're feeling, especially with how his parents took it."

"I'll think about it." I didn't want anyone else's opinion on this. All I wanted was space to be ready.

Benji got out of my car and waved as I backed out of his driveway.

- . - . - . -

Rahim's POV

Benji left after a curt 'goodbye' to me. It was another minute before Victor came back from the kitchen with a glass of water.

"I scared your boyfriend away, huh?"

Victor smiled softly. "No. He thought you needed to talk and didn't think you'd want to do that with him here."

I ducked my head. "He's not wrong." I doubted Benji and I would ever be anything close to resembling friends, but I couldn't express how much I appreciated that he left. I desperately needed to talk and after Ryker hadn't answered (yet again), this was the only place I could think to go. I thought I was coming here for Pilar, but maybe the whole time I needed to talk to Victor.

"What's wrong?"

A burning heat spread through my chest and I could feel tears leaving warm trails down my cheeks. "TJ threw a party tonight," I started. I clasped my hands in front of me and tried to focus on the slight pain from squeezing them too hard than on what had happened tonight. "It was going great, his friends were amazing, and we were having a good time. It was my first time meeting them, and I think they liked me."

Victor's eyebrows scrunched together. "What changed? Did they say something to you?"

"No. His ex showed up. TJ spent the whole night flirting with him. It's so obvious that he's not over him. I feel so stupid." I looked up at his ceiling and tried to take a deep breath; all it did was give a sob the opportunity to escape me. "I needed to get away from that, so I went to his room. His ex came in and started going on about how it was so hard to see me and TJ together and how TJ was one of the greatest guys he knows. He went on this whole thing about how the best thing for TJ would be for us to figure out how to be friends. Then he sat down next to me on the bed and tried to kiss me. I tried to push him away and he asked me why I was playing hard to get. Then he…" I ducked my head.

"What did he do?" Victor asked. His face was neutral, but there was something in his voice that made chills run down my back. I had a feeling if I asked him to, he'd personally walk to the party and beat up Josh. I was tempted to ask him to do that for a minute; I was pretty sure Victor could take him. "Did he kiss you?"

I wished that was all he did. For a second, I was sitting on TJ's bed. Josh was in my face, and I had both of my hands on his chest in a feeble attempt to keep him away from me. It was like I was made of jello; he definitely knew I was pushing him away because his exact words had been 'that's it? You must really want this'. I shook my head to clear the image, but it refused to go anywhere. "Yeah. First, it was my cheek because I tried to turn away. Then he grabbed my face and turned me so I was facing him. Then he…" I squeezed my eyes shut. "He put his hand on my crotch."

"Oh my God," Victor whispered. He grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Is this okay?" I nodded and reached for him with my other hand. It didn't feel romantic. It felt like his hands were my lifeline right now. My path out of the overwhelming waters I'd been thrown in the moment Josh got to the party. I'd treaded water for a while, but I'd been in the process of drowning since Josh walked into TJ's bedroom. "What did you do?"

I looked down at our entwined hands. I waited for the feelings that used to fill me, and they were still there, but they weren't as overwhelming as they used to be. Mostly, I felt safe for the first time since Josh got to the party. "At first I pushed him away again, but he's so much bigger than me. When he tried to go for my zipper… I punched him." I pulled one hand back from Victor and held it up gingerly. It still hurt a lot, but I didn't think it was broken anymore. The entire walk to the bus stop, I'd been terrified I broke it, but I couldn't focus on that. Not when I was getting away.

Victor let go of my other hand and carefully touched my hurt hand. He moved my other one so he could see them side-by-side. "Can you move it on your own?"

"Yeah." It hurt to move, but I could wiggle all of my fingers.

He frowned as he carefully moved my fingers, and I winced. He ran to his kitchen and returned with a bag of frozen chicken fingers. "Sorry, it's the only thing we have that's not in a box," he explained. "I don't think it's broken."

I grabbed the bag and had the almost giddy sensation of pain relief. It was like I hadn't realized how bad it had been until it settled down to a dull throbbing. "Thanks, Dr. Salazar." Victor grinned. "This helps. I can move my fingers, so I'm hoping it's not."

"I broke my hand once when I was in the fourth grade. I could move my fingers too, but it was the swelling that gave it away. My best friend and I had been doing something we weren't supposed to." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Wouldn't you like to know? Anyway, I wasn't going to tell my parents, but even a few hours later, the swelling was too bad to hide," he explained. "It doesn't look too swollen and, hopefully, the chicken fingers will help keep it down."

"Is that your official treatment plan?" He rolled his eyes at me. It dawned on me that I didn't actually know what Victor wanted to do with his life. Despite all the time we'd spent together since he got back from his trip in March, we'd never talked about it. "Do you want to be a doctor?"

Victor snickered. "Could you imagine me as a doctor?"

"Actually, yes."

"Trust me. It's better for everyone that I'm not a doctor."

I tilted my head. "Why not?"

Victor frowned. "There's a lot about people that make me uncomfortable. I don't mean with talking to them. I feel like I'd do a great job asking what's wrong, but I don't like the idea of physically examining people." He shivered. "No thank you."

I had to bite my lip because I almost laughed. "You regularly shower with a bunch of guys and the idea of medically examining someone freaks you out?" I challenged. Victor made a weird face and it took me a second to catch up. "I guess that didn't work out too well for you." It was one of the things we hadn't talked about; it had definitely been intentional that we'd avoided any talk of that video during our tutor sessions.

"Yeah. No. Not really but that's not it. It's the idea of seeing something on someone that freaks me out," he clarified. "I could handle scrapes or bruises or something like that. It's the gross stuff I have a problem with. Like if you have something that's oozing? You couldn't pay me to go near that."

I couldn't help my laugh. There was something about how he said it and the genuine look of disgust on his face. "Didn't see that one coming," I told him. "If not a doctor, what do you want to do?"

"I go back and forth. Sometimes, I think it would be pretty cool to do something in advertising or maybe be the social media manager for some company. I wouldn't mind doing something with sports either. You know, reporting on recent games or something."

"Huh. I could see that. Pity about the doctor thing, though. There are so many people that are missing your chicken finger ice packs."

He laughed. "I'm pretty sure that doctors shouldn't say what I'm about to say. I'm really glad you punched that guy." That wiped the smile off my face.

"TJ… did not share that sentiment."

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"Yeah, but he didn't believe me. He said that if Josh did anything, it was because I was sending him signals that I wanted him to do it."

"What?" Victor asked incredulously. His face contorted with rage. "That piece of shit. I can't believe this! If someone did something like this to him, he'd want you to believe him. To throw it back in your face like you were sending his ex signals is so messed up." He took a deep breath. "Sorry. I know he's your boyfriend and everything, but you can do so much better than someone like that. You deserve someone that has your back and doesn't flirt with his ex in front of you and chooses you over his creepy ex-boyfriend."

"I agree. That's… why I broke up with him."

"Good. I'm glad," Victor said. He hastily added, "not that you had to break up with him but that you stood up for yourself. I'm sorry TJ ended up being a jerk."

"I guess that's what I get for thinking that I could just run into a random guy at a bar and find my own love story," I grumbled.

"No. That's not your fault. The way you talked about him… who would've guessed he'd do something like this? He seemed perfect for you. It's not your fault that he ended up being different than you thought."

"I want what you and Benji have. I thought I was starting to find that with TJ, but… I guess I was wrong."

"I got… really, really lucky with Benji," he said after a moment. "Not everyone gets that lucky right away. I know that probably sounds shitty, but it's true. We're the exception, not the rule."

"I've heard that before," I muttered. "It's just so hard not to want that for myself. I want the perfect fairy tale romance."

Victor frowned for a moment. "Our relationship may look perfect to you, but it's a lot of work. It's work I am willing to do every single day, but it's work."

That surprised me. "But you look so happy."

"Because we are happy," he agreed. "I am so happy with Benji." He brought his hand to his heart. "Benji is a part of me. It's so easy to want a fairy tale romance, but there's a reason those are fairy tales. I wouldn't want our relationship to be like that."

"I'm so confused."

Victor laughed. "It's like… Benji and I are different people, so we disagree on a lot of stuff. There's stuff in his life that I don't understand and there's stuff in my life that he doesn't understand. Every day, we work to be supportive despite that, to recognize that we don't know everything, to forgive each other, and to talk about the things that bother us even if it would be easier not to. If we didn't, we wouldn't be able to last. It's our fights and our differences that make us better together. Sometimes, it's really, really hard." He shrugged and a sappy smile crossed his face. "But it's always worth it. We are so much stronger because we choose each other and put in the work. Without that, I feel like we wouldn't be building something sustainable. Kind of like we were the first six months we were together. We didn't know you had to work for a relationship because we never had to before. I was too busy trying to figure myself out when I was with Mia and Benji had his own stuff with Derek. I guess neither of us knew how to be in a relationship, and it caused all kinds of problems because, after a while, it wasn't easy for us to be together. We thought if we were supposed to be together, it would just happen, and it didn't. That was the first thing we needed to figure out. Whether we wanted to be together if it was gonna be work, and we did. It was more work for us because we were dumb kids that spent six months together thinking we were a fairy tale and there was a lot that fairy tales don't tell you about being in a relationship."

"Like what?" I asked curiously. "And if you just say that relationships are work…"

He smiled. "Well, they are."

"Yeah, you've said that like a hundred times, but what does that mean? I'm really trying to understand because you're the only gay couple I know. I want to get this. Why put up with something that's so much work?"

Victor looked thoughtful for a minute. "Because he's worth it," he answered. "He's worth the fighting we went through for months; he's worth our little arguments now; he's worth talking about everything that I want to keep in; he's worth an apology when I'm not really sorry for what I said but I am sorry for how it hurt him; he's worth the choice to take a breath instead of walking away; he's worth everything. Talking the way we talk? It's work. It's hard work. It's not work I feel like I could do with anyone but him. That's how I know he's worth it. Because I'd rather tell him about all the uncomfortable thoughts inside my head than lose him, and he feels the same way. The fairy tale wants you to think there's a happily ever after, but you need to make it happen. I choose him every single day." He looked at me as if he forgot that I was here. "I'm sorry. You probably don't need to hear this."

I actually kind of felt like I did need to hear it. "Maybe I do. Do you think Benji is the one?"

He looked perplexed. "I don't know that I believe that there is a 'the one'," he told me. "I think that we're supposed to be together, but I don't think that makes him the one."

"I don't understand you," I muttered.

He chuckled. "I guess I just have trouble believing in stuff like that. Soulmates or a love of your life or the one. It's hard to believe that there is one person for everyone out there. What if your person lives on the other side of the world? What if you never meet them? I think you find someone that you love so much it hurts sometimes but loving them is worth the pain. Benji and I? I think we'll be together for the rest of our lives, but it's because we chose each other, not because some higher being or the universe chose us."

"You don't think you're too young to know that?" I pressed.

"I think we're young, but I also think that we've worked through stuff that people a lot older than us haven't had to deal with." He looked up at the ceiling. "I can't imagine my life without Benji in it."

"Can I ask you another question?" Victor nodded. "What was your first date with Benji like?"

"Stay at home date or date-date?" Victor asked.

"Do you consider both of them to be your first date?" I asked.

"We do because we couldn't agree on whether our stay-at-home date counted, so we decided to count both."

"Then tell me about both."

"Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Please. I'm testing a friend's theory."

He looked confused. "Okay, then." He looked thoughtful for a minute. "Benji considers our stay-at-home date our first date."

"Wait. I don't mean to interrupt, but you don't think it's your first date?" When he'd said they disagreed, I automatically assumed that Benji hadn't believed they were dating until they went out on a date.

"It's not that I don't count it. It's just… I was too scared to go out with him. Being out to my family was so new to me, and it was going so badly, and I wasn't ready for anyone, not even complete strangers, to see us together. We had to do stay-at-home dates because I couldn't handle anything else. So, when I asked Benji to go out-out with me for the first time, it felt different. It felt more real than the other ones because it was the first time I was putting myself out into the world like that."

"Huh. So, what did you do for that date? The one at home."

"I went to Benji's house. He wasn't allowed over; it was maybe four or five days after I came out. We wanted to do something special, so we planned to make dinner one night when his parents were going out. We decided to keep it simple, so we just made some chicken and cut up potatoes and broccoli to roast in the oven. You know when everything in a relationship is brand new and all you want to do is…" he trailed off, but he didn't need to fill in the blanks. I knew exactly what he meant. "Well, we got distracted and burnt our food so badly, the smoke detectors tipped us off. I mean, we had to have forgotten about it for almost an hour. We couldn't salvage it."

"That sounds pretty terrible."

"Oh, it was."

"Then why are you smiling like that?" I questioned.

"Because it's still one of my favorite memories with Benji. We ended up making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and eating ice cream right from the carton in his living room because those were the only foods he had that didn't require cooking and the kitchen was too smoky to go anywhere near there. I feel like that was the first time that I realized that… Benji and I could make it."

"Huh."

"What?"

"My friend has a theory that all first dates suck in some way. They say it's a sign that a relationship will last."

"They might be right in some ways. I think to some extent all first dates are bad. There's the awkwardness that it's your first time doing something in a romantic capacity and you're figuring each other out, but I don't think that means it will last. My first date with Mia was pretty bad too and, for obvious reasons, we were never going to make it. When I took Benji out for the first time? That was the best date I've ever been on…" He frowned. "Second best. Our breakfast date in Vegas topped it, but there's no rule book for first dates."

I snickered. "I'm sure Vegas set a bar that's hard to reach."

"Yeah. I wouldn't think too much about that first date thing," he suggested. "The next time you're on a first date, just let things happen naturally. If it goes great, that doesn't mean you won't make it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I took sips of water that made my stomach churn. "I'm sorry." I thought both of us were surprised by my words.

"For what?" Victor asked uncertainly.

"Kissing you. Blaming you for choosing Benji. Acting like a wounded animal for months. For not saying sorry sooner. For any problems I caused between you and Benji for the aforementioned reasons."

"It's okay," he said quietly. "You didn't cause problems between us. You forced us to talk about the problems that were already there." He shifted a little. "I'm sorry too. For waiting so long to talk to you."

I looked down at my lap. "It takes two to tango."

He smirked. "Still. I shouldn't have waited so long. I-" he coughed. "I'm just really glad we're friends again. I know you hate Geometry, but I like that it gave us a reason to talk again. It's really nice being your friend."

"I guess Geometry's not the actual worst thing in the world." I said it like it was the biggest concession that had ever been made. "I liked it too. Those days in Brasstown… I didn't think I could ever be your friend, but I'm glad we are. I think hearing you talk about Benji set the bar for me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're always talking about how he makes you feel like you're more than yourself and he lifts you up and all of that other sappy romantic stuff you said. I don't know if I would've broken up with TJ if I didn't have that idea of what a relationship could be in my head. Breaking up with him was so hard; it took so long to find a guy that liked me for me, and I'm not sure I'll find that again. I know everyone thinks I'm a hopeless romantic but that's mostly because I have to live vicariously through other people because I don't know if it will happen for me."

"It will. The world is so much bigger than Atlanta, Rahim. One day, you'll find the perfect guy, a guy that will love you for exactly who you are, and you'll forget all about how shitty TJ was."

I doubted that. I yawned big. I felt like my exhaustion hit me all at once, kind of like a surprise wave right after you surface in the ocean. "I should probably head out. Thanks for listening."

"You're free to stay here," he offered. "No offense, but you smell like someone poured an entire keg on you."

"I may have been drinking away my feelings and some of that might not have made it into my mouth," I admitted. I felt okay now, but I wasn't sure if it was because enough time had passed or if everything that went down with Josh had been sobering. "Are you sure? Benji won't mind?" If I was Benji, I felt like I'd be pissed if my boyfriend was spending the night with another guy. Then again, Benji had willingly left us alone, so he was probably more okay with this than I gave him credit for.

"No. He'll be fine with it," Victor said confidently.

- . - . - . -

Victor's POV

I led Rahim to my bedroom because I didn't know where else to send him. I figured I could suck up a night sleeping on the couch. He eyed my bed. "Is that safe to lie down on or do I need to give you a minute to change the sheets?"

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows at me, and I sighed. "Just give me a minute."

"That's what I thought."

I pulled my comforter and sheets off my bed before I rolled them into a ball and put them on my desk chair. I wasn't looking forward to remaking my bed in the morning, but I'd probably feel weird about sleeping in sheets that someone else had sex on too, so I sucked it up. I grabbed clean sheets from the closet in the hallway. Rahim helped me make my bed and I passed him the blanket Felix and Pilar had been snuggled under earlier.

"This has never caressed yours or Benji's naked body, right?"

I had to look away so he wouldn't see the face I made at his question. "No, but every member of my family and Felix and Benji… and Lake… and Pilar's friend with the pink hair whose name I cannot remember right now have cried into it at some point," I told him.

"That's… I feel like there's a story behind that. Also, Noelle is her name."

I chuckled. "It's just always accessible, and talking about emotional things is easier when you're wrapped in the world's softest blanket."

I sat down on my floor as Rahim curled up under the blanket. "It is soft," he agreed. "I can't believe this. I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," I argued. "How were you supposed to know that TJ was going to be like this?"

"It's not just that though, is it? If I hadn't gotten so drunk and jealous, I never would have been hiding out in his bedroom. Then this never would have happened."

"You can't blame yourself. It's not okay that Josh did what he did, and it's not okay that TJ defended him. Yeah, you made choices that made you a little… drunk, but it's not your fault that he took advantage of that. You can't blame yourself for what someone else chose to do."

He sighed and yawned again. "But I do blame me." His words were slurred when he talked, and I wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or his exhaustion.

I heard the door to our apartment open. "Give me one second." I was relieved when it was Pilar.

"Before you say anything, you cannot possibly be upset that I'm late for curfew," Pilar said.

I honestly hadn't noticed. "What? No? Who cares about curfew? You need to talk to Rahim."

She looked confused. "I guess I can give him a call. Is he even awake?"

"Uh… yeah. He's awake. Sort of. He's kind of falling asleep in my bed."

"What the hell?" she asked.

"It's not what you think. He's was really drunk and really upset. He broke up with TJ. You need to talk to him. Maybe you can get through to him that this isn't his fault," I told her.

That clearly hadn't been what she was expecting. "Uh, yeah. I'll talk to him right now."

"If you want to sleep in there, I have a sleeping bag in my closet. I never gave it back to dad after Benji and I went camping a few weeks ago."

She nodded before she disappeared into my bedroom. I gave them about forty minutes before I went to check on them. They were both fast asleep.

I turned off the light before I went back to our living room to wait for my parents. It was well after midnight when they got home. I was sitting up in our living room with my hands clasped in front of me. "Hey, how was it?" I asked.

"What are you doing up?" my mom asked. She looked at the clock on the wall. "It's 12:20."

"I know, and I know it's past my curfew, but I really need to go see Benji. Would that be okay with you?" It was a weeknight, so it was technically only twenty minutes past my curfew, but it would be way past curfew by the time I got to Benji's and back.

"Did you guys get into a fight?" she asked surprised.

I shook my head. "No, but something happened and I need to talk to him." I hesitated. "Rahim's asleep in my bedroom. Pilar's sleeping on the floor in there. She got back from her date before curfew." That part wasn't totally true, but I figured there was no harm in a tiny lie.

She looked like she was trying to process how those things had come to be and I knew she'd never come close to the truth. "Are you going to spend the night at Benji's?"

"I don't know. It'll depend on Benji and his parents."

"I don't want you walking there this late."

"I'll take the bus."

"Go," my dad said. "If Margaret and Charles aren't okay with you staying, I'll come pick you up."

"Thank you," I breathed.

I practically ran to the bus stop. It was a good thing I did because it had been about to pull away when I got there and, this late, the bus only came once an hour. I definitely wouldn't have waited for the next bus if I'd missed it.

I got to Benji's house in time to see Lake backing out of his driveway. "Benji?" I called uncertainly.

He stepped out of a shadow that had effectively hidden him. "Victor? What are you doing here?"

I didn't answer him. Instead, I walked up to him and kissed him with as much passion as I could put into a short kiss. When I broke the kiss, I just hugged him. "Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?" he asked.

"For always having my back. For never being a dick. For always being you." I kissed him again.

"What the hell happened?" His eyes were wide when I pulled back.

"I can't tell you, but it wasn't good." I leaned my forehead against his and for a moment, I just stood like that with my eyes closed.

"Are you okay?" His voice was full of concern.

"Yes. Rahim is sleeping in my bed right now."

"What? Why?" he asked. He took a step away from me. I was impressed when he didn't look mad; he just looked curious. It made me fall even more in love with him because, seriously, how was it possible that he was this amazing?

"He was in such a bad place. He went to a party at TJ's tonight and between what happened with TJ's ex and him breaking up with TJ and the fact that he was drunk… I couldn't let him go home. Pilar's with him. She's sleeping on the floor in my room."

"And where are you sleeping?"

"I'll probably crash on the couch once I get back."

"Absolutely not. Stay the night."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Are your mom and dad awake?" I was already taking out my phone to text the group chat we had with our parents.

"Yes. They'll answer, and they'll be fine with it." He brought his hand to my cheek. "Are you okay?"

I thought about his question. "I am. Because I got so, so lucky with you." He rolled his eyes, so I continued. "I'm serious. What are the odds that the first person you fall in love with ends up being exactly the person you thought they were or ends up being better than you thought they were?"

"If you're getting weird, I'm going inside." There was a slight teasing edge to his voice. He took a step away from me to prove his point.

"Too late. I'm done," I shot back. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me so I could kiss him. "Maybe we should go inside," I said between deep breaths when we broke the kiss.

"I agree."