Open Your Eyes

by someofthissomeofthat310

My take on what could happen if there's a season 3. *Summary inside because I don't want to take the chance of spoiling the second season for someone that hasn't seen it yet*

9. The Next Page

~ Chapter 9: The Next Page ~

Benji's POV

I watched as Victor flipped the sign to 'Closed'. We'd had such a busy shift, and I was relieved to finally slow down.

"Whew. I don't think it's ever been that busy on a Monday," he said as he made his way back to me. "I feel like I barely got to talk to you. Who knew how much actually working here sucked?"

I snickered but agreed so strongly. It wasn't as bad as it would have been if I'd been working with someone else, but nonstop work did suck. "I think we broke some kind of coffee record. I'm surprised we didn't run out of coffee beans."

"Maybe we did. Should we, uh, go into the back and check?"

"Oh, definitely," I confirmed. The door didn't even swing shut behind us before we were kissing.

Victor's hands were pushing my shirt up my back. We didn't try to fully take our shirts off; we knew better, and we needed to maintain some semblance of control while we were at work, but I loved this. It almost made up for missing out on the banter and short kisses and jokes we usually shared in between making cups of coffee.

Almost. Nothing could make up for that because I felt closest to Victor in those moments, and I'd missed that today. I'd missed moments that were so easy and flirty and where we were mutually taking harmless shots at one another. I loved the kissing, but our relationship had always been about so much more than kissing. "Do you want to come over tonight?" he asked. "We can put on that movie you've wanted to watch and can fall asleep watching Chris Hemsworth… punch stuff or save people or whatever the hell he does."

"You're going to watch Men in Black with me?" I asked skeptically. I didn't understand Victor's aversion to it but the first time we'd tried to watch it, he actually fell asleep. I knew he loved Chris Hemsworth almost as much as I did, so it was confusing.

"No. But I'll watch you watch Men in Black," he told me. "I prefer you to Chris Hemsworth anyway."

"That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me." I leaned up and kissed him.

"Is that a yes?" he asked.

"You don't have homework?"

"Nope," he assured me. "It's the calm before the finals storm. And my mom owes us a sleepover."

"You literally spent the night at my house the day she offered that up," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's for a sleepover at my apartment."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Really. She got a little more specific the five minutes I was home this weekend." I couldn't help my smile. It was a really good weekend. "She says she can't okay us to spend the night at your house. That's up to your mom."

"It's a school night," I pointed out.

"Exactly. She offered up a weekday sleepover. Besides, this means that we'll get more sleep and be well-rested for tomorrow because we won't have to stay up late on FaceTime or wake up early to meet before school. It's really our most sound academic option." I raised my eyebrows at him. "I barely saw you at school today."

"That's because you skipped lunch," I pointed out. He'd spent lunch in the library helping Rahim with his Geometry homework because Rahim had been 'in the throes of a breakup' and had forgotten to work on it over the weekend. I was waiting for that to get easier, but it hadn't yet. The best I could say was that I managed not to turn into a jealous mess every time Victor was with him.

"I thought we were going to spend five hours together, but then everyone in Atlanta needed coffee. I want to spend actual time with my boyfriend." He swung my hand. "Preferably not in the backroom of Brasstown."

"Then yes."

He started to kiss me again and the world faded away. It was just me and Victor, exactly the way it was supposed to be.

"Oh."

Victor and I broke apart quicker than we'd started kissing. "As you can see, we didn't run out of coffee beans," Victor said. "I'm gonna go clean some tables."

He literally ran out leaving me to deal with Sarah.

"Coffee beans?" Sarah asked.

"We had a really busy shift," I said by way of explanation. "What are you doing here?"

"I forgot to grab everyone's availability. I need to make the schedule for June," she said. She closed her eyes for a second before she nodded and grabbed a manilla folder from her desk.

"It's early." She usually made the schedule a week before the start of the month. Plus, she was still in the process of hiring people for the summer, so it didn't make sense.

"Cloe called today; she's taking the job. I think I have all of my summer employees, but I won't know until I make the schedule. I need to know if I should hire anyone else," she pointed out. I thought she was going to leave, but she stopped just outside the door. "You waited until you closed, right?"

"Yes, I swear," I told her. "We followed all of your rules. We didn't come into the back until we flipped the sign, we didn't kiss by any open containers or by the shelves with the breakable stuff or by the bulletin board." She was really worried that we were going to break something or knock something off the walls. I tried to remember her other rules. She'd been very specific. "We didn't go near your desk, and we've been back here like two minutes." She'd also been really specific about how long we could spend 'distracted'. I thought it was a weird rule to put in place, but given all of Sarah's… uniqueness, it wasn't that off-kilter for her. If we ever were… distracted for too long, we would clock out fifteen minutes early, but stay to finish doing work. She'd also asked us to wash our hands if 'we couldn't help ourselves', so I'd technically broken that rule because I was talking to her instead of washing my hands.

"And you kept all your clothes on." She sighed. "I'd still rather you kept your hands to yourself while you're here."

I didn't have anything to say to that. I'd kind of been impressed when she'd laid down ground rules instead of forbidding us from working together. I thought part of it was we were both so much friendlier on shift together. There was one guy that specifically came here when we were working together because our 'good vibes' helped him 'focus' on whatever work he came in to do every day.

I couldn't tell her it wouldn't happen again because this was essentially part of our closing routine, and I didn't anticipate that going away unless she stopped scheduling us together, but I didn't want to tempt fate and give her a reason to do that.

She clicked her tongue before she walked out. I gave her a minute in the hopes that she'd really left before I went out front as well. "How much trouble did you get in?" Victor asked.

"None. We technically followed all of her rules and didn't create an unsanitary workspace," I pointed out.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I was worried she was firing you… or demoting you."

"She'd never demote me. She needs me to keep this place running. Besides, how boring would it be to make out with your coworker and not your kind-of-boss," I teased. It was the only thing to change about my position when Sarah found out about us. As Assistant Manager, I had the power to hire and fire… with one exception. I wasn't allowed to fire Victor. Not that I would, but if there ever was a reason, that would have to go through Sarah. It became a running joke with us very quickly.

He threw a rag at me and it hit me in the face. "You're on the clock," he reminded me. "These tables aren't going to wipe themselves."

"Not with that attitude, they won't." I took the rag anyway and started to clean a table.

"Seriously though. She wasn't too mad?"

"Nah. She put those rules in place for a reason. She knows we're-" I cut myself off when I saw the look on his face. "Model employees that will do what she asks us to do," I finished lamely.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't you think it's weird that she thinks we can't help ourselves when we're together? Is she wrong?" I raised my eyebrows at him. "Shut up," he muttered.

I couldn't help my chuckle. "She's not wrong, but it's not a bad thing," I told him gently. "I love that we're still like this." I sat down on the table. "Do you remember when we first started dating… well, when everyone knew we were dating?"

He studied me for a second before he copied my pose and sat down on one of his newly cleaned tables. "It's kind of hard to forget. Suddenly everyone was either my best friend or hated me."

I sighed. Sometimes I had to remind myself that he remembered that time a little differently. I'd gotten a little shit too - some people asked me if I'd 'turned him'. Because some people somehow thought that was a thing. I was much better at blocking out the unpleasant stuff than he was. "There's that," I agreed. "Then there were all the people that told us to enjoy the beginning because-"

"Because the spark was still alive," he finished. "But we're not the same as we were then. We're not like that at all. Back then… "

"We're better," I interrupted. I stood up and walked towards him. I took his hand in mine. "Everyone, even my parents, made it seem like this part would go away, and it hasn't. I'm still crazy about you. Like, right now? I'm thinking about all the things we get to do when I go back to your apartment later… if they say yes, I mean." I was pretty sure a part of my brain was always thinking about that.

"I texted them when you were talking to Sarah. I told them we didn't have time to do homework at work tonight - not technically a lie. Your dad okayed it and my mom sent a thumbs up," he told me.

"Sweet." I traced my hand up the side of his face until I could hook it around his ear. "We're different than we used to be but that's not a bad thing. I love where we are. I love that I can talk to you about anything. I love that I still spend about 99% of my time figuring out how to get you naked." Victor snorted and then laughed. He tilted his head sideways. I loved how his smile transformed him. "Our spark's not dead just because we have some self-control now."

"I didn't say it was dead. I just said it was different."

"I disagree. I think our spark knows how to wait until we're behind a closed door now because our spark has learned its lesson, but it's just as strong as it used to be. I'd even say it's stronger."

He looked me right in the eye. "It's not though, is it? Sarah might think it is, but… I don't know. Do you ever miss that? Wanting to be all over each other all the time?" He ducked his head and looked down at his lap. "Do you ever wish we couldn't wait for the locked door?"

"No, because not waiting for the locked door has never worked out for us," I told him seriously. "And it's a good thing, Vic. It's called balance." I hesitated. "I still feel… overwhelmed by you sometimes. Don't you?"

"Well, yeah," he confirmed.

"There you go." I kissed his cheek before I picked the rag up from the table and plopped it on his head. "Now, can you stop being ridiculous and finish cleaning the tables so we can leave? I'll do the espresso machine."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Adrian's POV

I didn't talk to Jeffrey on Monday. Mostly because I was terrified to talk to him. Despite Victor's and Benji's assurances that he was probably acting the way he thought I wanted him to act, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd done something wrong.

When he sat down at our lunch table on Tuesday, I knew I couldn't put it off. We'd spent the last month of lunches in almost complete silence. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I feel like things haven't been the same since you told me about… yourself. If I'm doing something wrong or saying something that's upsetting you…" I started.

Jeffrey looked around anxiously. "Not here," he hissed.

"Then where?" I asked.

"Ask to go to the bathroom."

He stood up and walked towards one of the lunch aides closest to the door. I waited until he was out the door to follow. I asked a different lunch aide just to be safe.

He was waiting for me right outside the cafeteria, and we walked around the corner before we sat down in front of a mural of a garden that said 'growth happens here'.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want to be your friend again."

"You never stopped."

I sighed. "You say that, but things haven't been the same. It's been weeks. If this is your way of… I don't know, giving me an out or something, I don't want it."

Jeffrey looked away. "You say that, but why would you want to be friends with me?" he asked.

"Because I like spending time with you," I told him. "I like that you'll play board games with me instead of going outside for recess. I like that you make school fun. I like that when everything was happening with my parents' separation, you made me feel like it was going to be okay. I can talk to you about anything and when you told me, I thought you felt the same way."

"I do," he said quietly. "I just didn't want you to think-"

"What?" I asked.

"I don't want you to think of me as a girl."

That surprised me. "I don't." He looked skeptical, so I continued. "You're a boy. You've been a boy as long as I've known you. What you told me doesn't change that."

"Thanks."

I glanced at him out of the side of my eye. "I don't really know anything about this, but I want to be here for you if I can. If you want to talk about it, I mean."

Jeffrey frowned. "I'm not sure how to," he said slowly. "It's been the big family secret for such a long time. I told my parents I told you and they kind of freaked out."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain, but telling people the truth about me? It's not just about me. Last time, it affected all of us. My dad had to put in to transfer; my mom had to quit and find a new job; my brother had to leave behind all of his friends."

"That's a lot."

He nodded. "Yeah, it is. I owe all of them everything for doing all that for me. I get why they're scared for you to know. They can't understand how much it stinks to feel like this has to be a secret."

"Do you wish you hadn't told me?"

"No," he said honestly. "I'm glad I told you. I guess I just wanted to give you your space in case you regret knowing."

"I don't regret it. Victor and Benji said that this is something I'll never really understand, but I'd like to try."

"Victor and Benji? You told them?" Jeffrey asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I asked for their advice on how to talk to you. What's wrong?"

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone."

"It's just Victor and Benji. They won't say anything. They're not even gonna tell my mom and dad."

"I'm such an idiot. I take it back; I never should have told you." Jeffrey jumped to his feet and I'd never seen such an angry look on his face before. "Just stay away from me."

He ran away and I was left feeling baffled by how quickly things had gone wrong.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Lake's POV

"What are we doing?" Lucy asked with a slightly terrified laugh. She was clinging to the passenger seat as if she was riding a roller coaster. We had an hour to squeeze in a date before she had to work - who needed catering on Tuesdays? She was on grandpa duty right after school the rest of the week, so this was the only time we'd have together until Saturday unless her dad gave up his 'separation of grandpa and girlfriend' rule - he thought that was hilarious; we did not share that sentiment. He didn't want Lucy to be distracted by me; he didn't seem to realize that we'd been managing for months.

"We're going on a mini date because I miss you, and this is the only time we have until your brother gets back from his stupid trip on Saturday."

"Lake, he's interviewing for a job," she reminded me. "He did really well on the phone interview and the Skype interview, so they flew him out."

"I know. I know," I told her. "And that's great. I'm happy for him. He's worked so hard for this." I was also just thinking about how much next year was going to suck if he moved to Washington.

Her hand found mine over the steering wheel. I hadn't said anything to her, but she knew anyway. Probably because she was worried about it too. "We'll be okay. Logan and I are going to talk to our dad if he gets this job. With me in school and my dad at work, we won't be able to watch him. He needs to be somewhere that has resources for people like him."

I wasn't sure her dad would go for it, but she was right that they couldn't leave her grandpa alone all day. It only worked now because Logan took all afternoon and night classes.

"When should he hear?" I asked.

"He'll probably ask during his interview tomorrow." I thought it was probably a good sign that he was there for five days. He had a day at the start and a day at the end to explore on his own. They were giving him a tour of the city today, then he had two days of interviews which sounded intense. He'd fly back Saturday morning.

I pulled up to the curb. "To be continued," I promised.

"Are we getting Chinese food?"

"Yep," I said simply. I didn't take my keys inside. Our food was ready, so I was back in my car in two minutes.

Lucy closed her eyes. "That smells amazing."

"Thanks. I can't say I made it myself, but I paid someone to make it for us, so I'll take the compliment."

Lucy snickered. "Do I get to find out where we're going now?"

"We'll be there in five minutes," I promised.

Lucy looked at the clock in my car. "Five minutes from here means it's about ten minutes from work?" she guessed.

"Yep."

"That's a decent amount of time." She sounded disappointed.

I rolled my eyes. "I was going to try to party-crash tonight, but you're catering some boring business dinner and this seemed less terrible than that."

"You got that right. Most weekday events are stuffy, boring dinners or, like, funerals. They're not my favorites, but it's part of the job. Weekends are when we have weddings and engagement parties and things like that."

I chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."

I pulled up to a park a few minutes later. "Of course," she said with a huge smile. "Guess I should have seen this one coming."

"It is our spot. Set your alarm," I warned her. "I will not be responsible for you being late again."

She obediently pulled out her phone as she got out of my car. We walked to our usual spot. Just like always, the park was completely empty. I still thought it was generous to call it a park, but I enjoyed the privacy it offered, so I'd call it whatever Lucy liked.

I patted the ground and was grateful it was completely dry because I hadn't thought to bring a blanket. Lucy was way better at remembering things like that. We sat down across from each other and pulled out the Chinese food. We arranged it between us. "I think we have officially become grandmothers eating dinner at 3 pm."

"Nah. Even grandmothers don't eat dinner this early," I told her.

Lucy chuckled. "The things we do for love." She wasn't looking at me, so she didn't see that I froze. The things we do for love? Did that mean what I thought it meant? She kept talking as if she hadn't said anything significant, but my heart kept beating loudly in my head. The things we do for love. Was I in love? Did she love me? Was I ready to call this love? Lucy shook me to pull me from my reverie. "Hey, you okay?"

"What? Yeah, sorry. Guess I just… got lost in your eyes," I told her. Lucy blushed and looked down. "What were you saying?"

"Just that I'm really happy you planned this," she said softly. "This is the perfect date."

"Thank you for lying," I chuckled. "I just wanted to make sure we got some time with just the two of us this week."

"I'll be free on Saturday," she reminded me.

"Yeah, but you're meeting Georgina Meriwether… and my dad, but he's chill. He's, like, the complete opposite of my mom. It won't be the same as if it was just us," I pointed out. I was dreading Saturday. Like, I'd considered getting sick or injured to get out of it, but I knew that my mom needed to know. I wanted my mom to know; I just desperately wanted to skip the part where I had to tell her. If we could just jump to the part where she knew, that would be ideal.

"I am so excited to meet your mom," she said seriously. "I think this is going to be really good for us."

"Yeah. Of course." I grappled for a change of topic. "Did you find out if you can get off the night of the Spring Fling yet?" We weren't planning on going because we were taking baby steps and we'd agreed not to come out to the whole school until our senior year started, but Victor and Benji were planning on going to Lake Lanier that night because it would be the day before their anniversary. They said as long as we left them alone that Saturday, we were welcome to tag along.

"Not yet," she sighed. "They should post the schedule on Sunday. I hope I will, but it'll be first come first serve, and I think half of us put in requests to be off."

"Well, I will cross my fingers," I told her.

We spent the rest of our limited time together bantering back and forth. We stayed away from the dangerous topic of our impending dinner with my mom, which I appreciated. Instead, we talked about random gossip around Creekwood, and Lucy went off on a tangent about the cold war, and we talked a little about Benji's band.

It was far from perfect, but it was something. It was a little something that we could do together before our lives got even more complicated.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Isabel's POV

"Isabel, a moment." Frank, my boss, popped his head out of his office.

"I'm on time," I immediately said. "That clock is eight minutes fast."

Frank chuckled. "I know that. I just need to talk to you about something before you head over to the school."

"Oh, yeah. Of course." I quickly finished filling in my timesheet for today before I went into his office.

"As you may know, Karen is retiring."

"No, I hadn't heard," I said. I didn't mention that I had no clue who Karen was. I didn't have much interaction with the other people that worked here because we were usually busy with our assignments and because staff meetings were only for full-time staff and always took place in the afternoons. I had a weekly meeting with Frank but that was the most interaction I got with the people I worked with.

"You've been with us six months and the schools you've gone to have nothing but positive things to say about you. We've been really impressed with the work you've done for us. Karen's retirement means that a full-time position is opening up. It would mean three days at the lower elementary schools and two full days doing music at the special services school, but it's a salaried position instead of hourly with more sick time, personal days, and state insurance benefits. We also offer tuition reimbursement if you want to go back to school to pursue a degree in music. Having your Bachelor's would mean a significant pay raise. I talked to the other members on the board, and the job is yours if you want it."

"I… I'll need to talk to my husband about it," I said. My mind was spinning. Full time. Wow.

"Of course. Do you think you might be considering it, though?"

"I think so," I told him. "I just can't be the only one to make this decision."

"I understand. Since you are considering it, might I recommend that you go with Karen to the special services school today? See what you might think of that. It's a challenging position, but we think you might be up to it."

I was about to tell him I couldn't. I needed to walk Adrian home from school today, but I couldn't make myself say no. "I, uh, just need to check with my son real quick to make sure he can pick my youngest up from school. Do you mind if I step out and call him so I can let you know?"

"Please." He gestured towards the door.

Victor didn't answer my phone call. I wasn't necessarily surprised. I never heard from him during the school day; whether that was because he genuinely wasn't using his phone or he just didn't want me to know, I couldn't be sure. I sent him a text telling him he needed to pick up Adrian. I knew he had off of work today, so I hoped he wouldn't mind. I called the school and was surprised when I was directed to the vice principal. I guess I'd kicked up enough of a fuss when Victor had gotten suspended that I warranted an immediate transfer. She promised she'd get the message to him.

I went back into Frank's office. "I'd love to join her and get a feel for the work I'd be doing."

"Wonderful. I'll coordinate that with Karen. Once you finish up at the preschool, you can head over."

"Thank you." I shook his hand before I stepped out of his office.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Benji's note landed right on top of the problem I was working through.

I peeked at the front of the classroom before I slipped the note under my desk. Usually, we just passed our notebooks back and forth (my PreCalculus examples were full of Benji's writing) so either his notebook had finally run out of paper or he'd written this note before school. He'd been scheduled at Brasstown this morning and Sarah must have kept him because he'd been nearly ten minutes late for class.

I glanced over at Benji and could see him staring blankly at the worksheet Mr. Powers had given him when he walked in. I hastily opened the note.

Stevie texted us this morning. He got a call from that band's manager. They want us to open for them on Friday. If they still like us, we might get a few more slots with them.

I read and reread it about twenty times before I fully processed it. This was everything they'd hoped for. I hastily scrawled out my response.

Oh. My. God. Benji, that's amazing! I think I need to go to the bathroom. You?

Watching the front to make sure Mr. Powers wasn't looking, I passed it back. Benji only had it a few seconds before it was back on my desk.

I'll give you a thirty-second head start.

I raised my hand. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"I don't know. Can you?"

I sighed. For someone that taught math, Mr. Powers cared more about stuff like that than any other teacher. "May I?"

"Go ahead."

I didn't go to the bathroom; instead, I went to the lobby. Benji showed up a minute later and I didn't give him a chance to say anything. I pulled him down so he was sitting next to me. "I am so proud of you," I told him. "So proud. This is huge!"

Benji nodded nervously. "I have to be honest. I'm a little freaked out about this. I mean, what are the chances that we actually make it?"

"Zero if you don't take this shot," I told him. "That band clearly loves you, and rightfully so. You're amazing… your whole band is amazing."

He grasped my hand tightly. "Do you think we can do this?"

It hit me at that moment that he was really scared about this. Like, way more than he was excited. "Yes," I told him honestly. "If anyone can do this, it's you. Because you're so talented, and the songs you've written and arranged for your band are amazing, and people would be crazy not to love you."

"You think?"

"I know. And, hey. I will be there every step of the way, cheering you on." I brought my hand up to his cheek. "Because I believe in you."

Benji leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. I knew we should get back to class but that didn't seem to matter when Benji was kissing me like this. I wrapped my arm around his back to hold him closer to me.

"Have you learned nothing?" Ms. Albright asked. Benji and I hastily broke apart. I shifted a bit away from him as if that changed what she'd just walked in on.

"We weren't doing anything," I told her.

"Yeah. I could see all the nothing that was happening. What's wrong? The custodial closet is taken? Yeah, I know about that."

"Are we in trouble?" I asked uncertainly.

"No. I went to your classroom and your teacher told me you were in the bathroom. I was gonna come back later but then I ran into the two of you. Seemingly cutting class."

"We're not cutting class," Benji protested.

"Really? Enlighten me. What do you call this?" She asked.

"We're sorry," I said quickly. "Benji and I just really needed to talk about something."

"Talk," she muttered. I hung my head.

"Benji found out that his band is opening for this other band on Friday. We did talk about that," I told her.

Ms. Albright seemed to soften. "That is wonderful, Benji. Congratulations." She stood there for a minute.

"Thanks," Benji said to break the silence. "I'm a little nervous about it. That's why we came out here."

Ms. Albright nodded thoughtfully. "When life starts happening for you, it can get scary. When I was auditioning for Broadway, I constantly doubted myself, but those were some of the greatest years of my life and they led me to find my true passion of teaching." I suddenly remembered that she said she'd been the drama teacher before she became vice-principal.

Ms. Albright looked lost in thought for a minute. "Right. Before I forget, Victor, your mom called. They asked her if she could help out with an afterschool music program, so she needs you to pick up your brother and walk him home today." She passed me the note.

"Thanks."

Ms. Albright made a noise as she walked away. "Did you notice that she didn't give us detention?" Benji asked. "She also didn't tell us to go back to class."

I laughed. "Don't push it." I stood up and pulled him to his feet. "You good with tagging along while I get Adrian? I know we were gonna hang at your place…"

Benji shrugged. "We'll just go to yours."

"Thanks," I said softly. "Spending the afternoon with my brother probably wasn't what you had in mind."

"It's better," he insisted. "Plus, I'm dying to meet Jeffrey. Your brother has talked about him so much, I feel like I know him."

I chuckled. I kind of agreed with Benji. My mom and dad had met Jeffrey and his family around New Years, but Pilar and I had only heard of him. "I don't know if we'll meet him," I pointed out. "He could ride the bus."

Benji frowned. "It'll be fine either way. Adrian owes me a Scrabble rematch, so the day won't be wasted."

I snickered. Benji still wasn't over that Adrian had beaten him at Scrabble. "You're just going to lose again," I pointed out. "Adrian has a better vocabulary than my whole family put together."

"He cheats. He has to. Who else knows what a qapik is?" he asked.

"Adrian. And he probably knows a hundred other words that you'll challenge because you won't believe they're real."

I swear he muttered something about Azerbaijan before he let it drop. "We should get back to class," he said reluctantly.

I glanced at my watch. "Our classmates are gonna think we've been hooking up somewhere. We've been gone almost twenty minutes."

"Well, if you don't want them to be wrong," he suggested.

I laughed. "Never again," I told him. I let him kiss me before we went back to PreCalculus.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Mia's POV

I never walked around Los Angeles by myself, but I needed to get out. In retrospect, we were probably overdue for a fight. We'd been traveling mostly all by ourselves for six months. It was a miracle we'd made it this long without murdering each other. Sure, we'd had our arguments, but nothing like this.

I didn't expect math to be the cause of our fight. It seemed like such a stupid thing now. I didn't like feeling dumb and everything seemed to have bubbled out of me while we'd been doing our homework. It was like all the protective instincts that I'd worked to unlearn came back full steam the moment he tried to help me with my review packet.

I wasn't sure if we were actually fighting about math or if that was just how it came out because Stanford had officially posted that my dad was approved by a board of faculty members to be the next President. He was scheduled to start on July 1st. It shouldn't have been surprising but when I'd told Andrew about it, I still felt blindsided. Somehow, I thought maybe things had changed, that maybe my dad would change his mind, that maybe he'd finally choose me. I'd been an idiot to think that.

I didn't feel any better after walking around. Everyone was still in school, so I didn't even have anyone I could call.

It turned out I didn't need to. A few hours after I'd stormed out of my motel room, my phone started to ring.

I shouldn't have been surprised. "Hey," I answered.

"Hey. Andrew said I should call you," Victor said slowly. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I told him.

"Mmm-hmm. When someone's boyfriend reaches out to their girlfriend's ex and asks them to call you… you're right; that's usually nothing."

I sighed. "My dad still took the job."

"Oh, Mia, I'm so sorry," Victor said. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I? I'm moving to Stanford. At this rate, Andrew will just drop me off there because who knows when the hell Malcolm will come back."

"You have choices. I think you know you have choices; you just also know none of them will make you happy."

"What options could I possibly have?" I asked him. My voice got slightly hysterical.

"You could stay in Atlanta," he pointed out. "I'm not saying that's what you should do. I can't make that decision for you, but you know if you wanted to stay here, we'd figure out a way to make that work. I can't officially speak for Lake, but I'm pretty sure she'd resort to kidnapping if she needed to. The problem with that is…" he trailed off.

I finished, "it would mean my dad and Veronica and the baby would be leaving me."

"Yeah."

"I don't know what to do," I whispered.

Victor was quiet for a long time. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then trust me on this. Don't think about this until you find your mom. That needs to be your priority. Once you find her and you have one impossible conversation, then figure out what you want to do and think about your next impossible conversation with your dad. Your dad taking this job doesn't change that you deserve answers from your mom. So, let yourself look and let yourself learn about her. Keep chasing that. When you come home… if you come back to Atlanta, we'll all be waiting and we'll support whatever you decide."

"So you think I just shouldn't think about it?"

"Yes," he answered firmly. "Because you can't make a decision about your future when you're still getting answers about your past."

"Is Benji with you? That sounds like something he would say."

Victor chuckled. "Yeah, that was all him," he admitted. "We're walking to pick up Adrian right now. It's a good line. He's pretty smart about some things. Ouch! That was a compliment!"

I bit my lip to stop my laugh. "Tell him I said hi."

"Mia says hi." There was a slight pause. "Oh my God. You are so dramatic. He said if he was smarter, he'd be able to say hi back. You know I think you're smart. I am not feeding your ego right now." Victor let out an indignant sound. "Sorry about him."

I couldn't help my laugh this time. "It's fine. Thanks for calling. I feel okay now."

"Good because there's something you have to do."

"What's that?"

"You need to talk to Andrew."

I knew he was right, but I wasn't sure Andrew would forgive me. "I don't know if I can. The things I said… I crossed the line with him."

"I don't know what you said to him, but he's loved you for a long, long time; I think maybe even before I moved to Atlanta. It's going to take more than one fight to scare him away. Plus, I got the idea from him that he said some things he shouldn't have."

Truthfully, he had. But I'd been the one to instigate it. I knew exactly how to get under his skin and get a reaction from him. "I brought his parents into it. I crossed the line first."

Victor was quiet. "How much do you know about that?"

I frowned "About his parents? I've been attending events with them since I was nine."

There was another long silence. "So you know that they put a lot of pressure on him?" he confirmed.

"Yeah. I told him they hold him to high standards because he refuses to hold himself to them. I don't know why I said that; Andrew obviously has standards."

"You said it because you can't yell at your mom or dad right now. Andrew's there. He'll forgive you. You just need to take that first step and apologize. Trust me on this one. Don't let it go. Talk to him. Tell him how scared you are."

"I don't know if I can," I said quietly.

"You told me," he reminded me gently. "You can tell him. He'll understand. And if he doesn't? I will hop on a bus and have words with him." I laughed because I knew he didn't actually mean that. "Nah. You can do this. It won't be easy, but what about your relationship has ever been easy?"

I chuckled. "You're right." I sighed. "Can you stay on the phone with me? Until I get back?"

"Of course," he promised.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

I hadn't been to the lower elementary school since I was in third grade. I was always amazed by how small it looked now when I remembered it being so larger-than-life when I was little.

"What were you like when you went here?" Victor asked while we sat outside. Adrian wouldn't be dismissed for another fifteen minutes but that wasn't enough time to get anywhere and back, so we'd taken up our positions on the curb.

"I was your typical kid," I told him. "I don't know what to tell you."

"What did you like about going to school here?"

I thought about it. "I didn't. Like going to school here, I mean. I know that's probably weird to say because I was… five when I started and ten when we did the moving up ceremony, but school has never really been my thing. I probably would've liked school more if it was as fun as my guitar lessons."

"You never talked about that. Why didn't you like it?"

"I think it's that I always felt stupid. My first memory of this school was my parents telling me that I was going to repeat the 1st grade. Do you know what it's like to hear that you're too dumb to pass the first grade?"

"I doubt that your parents called you dumb."

"No, of course not. They just said I needed 'extra support'. I don't remember what I learned that year or ever getting a grade, but I do remember that things didn't click for me. So, while the rest of my classmates were moving on to second grade, I was repeating. I wasn't smart enough to keep up with them. You may think I'm smart about some things, but I didn't feel that way here."

Victor let out a frustrated sigh. "Are you still on this? You know you're not stupid, right? You're one of the smartest people I know."

I rolled my eyes. That was far from the truth. "Do you want to see my last report card?"

"You don't need to do well in school to be smart," he argued. "Though, I don't think B's are bad grades. You're smart where it matters."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"It means school isn't everything. You were smart enough to learn how to play guitar and piano and for some reason clarinet. You taught yourself how to draw. As a freshman, you figured out what classes you'd need to double up on so you could spend your senior year taking all music and art classes. I mean, you essentially could graduate this year if you wanted to. You understand people and connect with them. You're so patient, it's actually annoying sometimes. Those are the things that count. When you're teaching little kids that it's okay to be themselves through art or music, no one's going to care what you got on some dumb PreCalc test."

"Twice in one day with the compliments. Did I forget about my birthday or something?"

He rolled his eyes and pushed my shoulder a little. "Shut up and say, 'you're totally right, Victor. You're so wise.' And feel free to throw in something about how good-looking I am."

I chuckled and kissed him quickly. "Thank you. You are definitely right." Other parents started to arrive, so we stood up. Victor still firmly held my hand, but we had a little more distance between us than we had sitting down.

Victor's grip on my hand tightened when we heard someone say into their phone, "I'm picking up Jeffrey now. I can swing by before I take him home. Alright. Love you."

He took a tentative step towards the woman. I had no concept of what Jeffrey or his parents looked like, but she looked vaguely familiar. I figured it was just that she had a mom look to her. "Um, Mrs. Miller?" he guessed. The woman turned to face him. "I'm Victor Salazar, Adrian's older brother. This is my boyfriend, Benji."

"It's so nice to meet you," she said warmly. "Adrian spoke very highly of you."

"He thinks the world of Jeffrey. We're all so happy that Adrian's friends with him. We'd love to have him over sometime." Mrs. Miller looked deeply uncomfortable, and Victor let go of my hand to clasp them in front of himself. "I hope I'm not overstepping, but Adrian told us a little about him. I just wanted to make sure you knew that it doesn't change anything. Adrian found a really great friend; it's what I've wanted for him since he started school, and Jeffrey's welcome whenever he might want to hang out with Adrian. I know Adrian's asked before, so if there's anything we can do to make you or Jeffrey more comfortable about it…"

I tried not to look surprised. I didn't know if Victor had planned this or had just jumped on the chance to talk to Mrs. Miller.

Mrs. Miller held up her hand. "That's very sweet of you, but I don't know if we'd be comfortable with that. Jeffrey has been through a lot. He's very special to us. We just can't take risks with him."

"I understand that; believe me," Victor told her. "I wouldn't have said anything, but Adrian used to have a lot of trouble making friends which is crazy because he's like the sweetest and most accepting little kid in existence. All the things that most kids make fun of him for, Jeffrey accepts. I love that Adrian has a best friend for the first time ever and, with summer coming up, I just want to make sure they have a chance to keep being friends even when school doesn't bring them together." Okay, that was way too smooth to be an impromptu speech.

Mrs. Miller looked genuinely flattered by Victor's speech. "I'll talk to my husband."

"Thank you. Adrian!"

I hadn't realized school had been dismissed until Victor waved over Adrian. Adrian ran over with his backpack bouncing on his back. A weird look crossed his face. "Hi, Mrs. Miller."

"Hi, Adrian. Lovely to see you again."

Neither Victor nor Mrs. Miller brought up their conversation, so I kept my mouth firmly shut.

"Mom's working late today. I know we're boring and all, but how'd you like to hang with me and Benji?"

I had to turn away to hide my smile. Boring. Adrian loved spending time with us. Like, he actively worked to extend his time with us whenever we hung out with him, and Victor had an inability to say no to him, so it usually worked. "Can we get ice cream?"

"Anything you want, papa." Victor messed up Adrian's hair, and he let out a sound of indignation as he ducked under Victor's hand. "You ready? It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Miller."

We walked with Adrian to an ice cream parlor. When Adrian ran to the bathroom, I turned to Victor. "Are we going to talk about that?" I asked.

"Adrian told me last night that Jeffrey's pissed that he told us," Victor said quietly. "That's actually why I called last night but you were shirtless, so I forgot to bring it up. I thought if his parents saw we don't care, it might smooth things over between them. I figured I was just gonna end up calling them, but when she was there… I couldn't help it. I feel so bad for Adrian."

"Shit." I thought it was kind of cute how fiercely protective Victor was of his siblings; I just hoped it would work. Victor had talked about the tough time Adrian had in school before they moved, and it was hard to think of anyone being mean to him.

"How are you feeling about your big news this morning?" Victor asked in a clear attempt to change the subject.

"I really can't think about it right now," I told him. "I'll wrap my head around it eventually, but I think I need to give myself some time before I think about how real this is." I hadn't realized how tightly I was holding his hand until he massaged my fingers and loosened my grip a little.

"Fair enough. Try this." He fed me a small scoop of his ice cream.

"That's delicious. What's today's flavor?" Victor wanted to try every flavor they served here so he could definitively say he was getting his favorite flavor every time we came here, but they had at least fifty flavors, not counting their specials and seasonal flavors. Taste-testing them all had been slow-moving.

"Sweet and salty caramel peanut pretzel."

"I thought you didn't like caramel." I was actually sure of it because he'd explained, 'it's too sticky and stringy, and why are there always nuts?' and I'd lost it.

"I thought that too, but this is really good." He sounded surprised.

I snickered. "Guess you don't mind there being nuts now."

"I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"

"Hmm…" I pretended to think about it. "Never." I leaned over and kissed him softly which effectively wiped the scorned look off his face.

"Aww!" Adrian cheered as he sat down. It was a nice change from how Pilar pretended to be disgusted every time she saw us kiss. We weren't nearly as bad as her and Felix who seemed to be lip-locked half the time. Admittedly, Victor and I also had the luxury of a locked door that provided us with complete privacy. Pilar didn't have that yet.

Victor chuckled and pulled back from me before he weaved his fingers through mine.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Felix's POV

"Okay, so Benji's band has another gig tomorrow," Victor said when he sat down at our lunch table on Thursday. "And he might have one next Saturday if it goes well. The band he opened for really, really likes them, but he's nervous about it. It's getting a little real for him, so when he gets here we need to hype him up."

"What kind of hype up are we talking? Stage fright hype or future rockstar hype?" I asked.

"Future rockstar hype," Victor told us.

"Where is Benji anyway?" Lake asked.

"We're part two of his intervention. I asked Mr. Smith if he'd talk to Benji, so he'll be here once he's done hearing about 'the glory days'," Victor explained. "I walked away when he was telling Benji that he needs to turn the page if he wants to find out what comes next in his rock and roll story."

Lake chuckled but, before she could say anything, Ms. Albright came over to our table. I knew the moment I saw her face that something was wrong. "Felix, I need you to come with me. Bring your stuff."

I couldn't find my voice as I hoisted my bag over my shoulder. I didn't remember Ms. Albright ever using my real name. She'd always called me Lonestone. I was so sure this was about my mom and she was trying to soften the blow or something. Maybe she'd had an episode or had stopped taking her meds without me noticing. I was so convinced it was something like that, I was confused when Ms. Albright started with, "I just spoke with Jordan."

"Jordan Fischer?" I asked uncertainly.

"Yes. He told me that you approached him this morning about doing his homework in exchange for money. Is this true?"

"I… I'm sorry. What?" I couldn't wrap my head around this. I'd stopped my side hustle a couple of weeks ago. I'd told Jordan I was done with it for good when he'd asked if I would write his Grapes of Wrath paper. That had been like a week and a half ago at least. Why would he lie to Ms. Albright?

"Did you offer to do Jordan's homework if he paid you?"

"No, of course not." It wasn't technically a lie. I hadn't had to ask him. Once I started, word had spread and he'd come to me about it.

"I like you, Felix. I don't want to see you get in trouble," she started.

"Then don't punish me for something I didn't do."

She sighed. "This isn't the first time accusations like this have surfaced. Mr. Wise approached me in February to say that he noticed some similarities in the writing style and metaphors used in your papers and some of his other students. He's not the only one. When I spoke with your other teachers, some of them noticed identical handwriting, the same wrong answers, ways of showing work. It's enough that we have to do something."

I sat back in my seat and felt my heart pounding in my chest. "What's going to happen to me?"

"With what we have? A short suspension."

"Okay. How long?"

She hesitated. "Three days."

"Okay." I crossed my arms tightly around myself. I'd never been suspended before. I expected the world to shift or meteors to rain down to show the significance of this moment. Sure, I'd had detention, but I'd never done anything serious enough to warrant suspension.

"You're really lucky you're not being expelled. We are… aware that you fell on hard times. Tell us who you did homework for, and maybe we can work something out for you. See if we can swing a few detentions instead of suspension." I stayed silent. There was no way I was giving her anyone's names. I'd done what I needed to do to make ends meet; I wasn't going to take anyone else down with me. Even if it had been for their own selfish reasons, they'd kept me afloat. "Fine. I'm going to call your mom. You'll have to wait outside until she gets here."

"No. Please. Don't make her leave work. We need the money," I told her. I could feel myself starting to panic. My breathing came a little more rapidly and it was like something tightened around my chest. We were nowhere near close to pulling ourselves out of the debt that had accumulated after months of her depression. Time off of work, even a few hours, wasn't an option for us right now. Her boss had been great about working around therapy. She went into work early two days a week so she could take an extended lunch break and go to her appointments, so we didn't have to sacrifice her paycheck for therapy.

Ms. Albright's face softened. "If it's okay with her, you can walk home. That's all I can offer."

"Thank you."

She let me wait in her office while she called my mom. My mom cautiously agreed to me walking. She did say that she'd talk to me when she got home, and I could hear the anger in her voice.

While I walked home, I couldn't quite escape the feeling of impending doom that clung to me. It was less about my suspension and more about how my mom would take my suspension. I knew she was doing so much better, but I never knew what could set her off. Since she'd come back, I'd been trying so hard to make life as least stressful for her as possible. I'd hoped the longer she went without having to worry about anything, the more likely she'd be able to handle it when it did pop up. Suspension? Yeah, that was stress. It was unnecessary stress.

I couldn't help but remember this time in the seventh grade. My mom had to pick me up from school because someone had dumped their chocolate milk all over me. She'd spent the entire car ride from the middle school to our apartment blaming herself for it. It was ten minutes of 'how did I miss this?' and 'I should've taught you to fight back' and her telling me how bad she felt about what had happened and that it was somehow her fault. It had only made me feel worse because not only had someone dumped chocolate milk on me, but it had bled over into my life outside of school. I would never know if that was actually what prompted her depressive episode that year but, to me, that's what it felt like. After that, there were a lot of things I sucked up around school because it was less risky that way. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd somehow undone all the progress she'd made.

When I got home, I had over three hours to sit with that fear and anxiety. It only grew with every passing second. I spent that time alternating between frantic pacing while I worried about whether my mom could handle this and sitting down with my hands clasped in front of me while I worried about whether my mom could handle this.

She walked in our front door at 4:16 exactly and slammed the door so hard, I was surprised that nothing fell off the wall. She was home way later than usual and I could only begin to speculate about what had kept her. She usually worked from 7:30 until 3:30 and was home well before 4. "Suspended?" she demanded.

"I'm so sorry." I jumped to my feet.

"I can't believe this. What were you thinking? Doing someone else's homework? You're smarter than that!"

"I… I know I shouldn't have, but-"

"No. No buts. There are no excuses." I looked away from her. I felt like I'd been slapped because I did have an excuse. I had a very good excuse. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Mom-"

She held up her hand. "Is this a cry for help? Is that why you did it?"

"What? No."

"Then why? Because I don't understand what could have made you do this." Her voice got hysterical.

I almost told her because I was suddenly so angry. Angry that she didn't trust that I'd had a good reason; angry that I couldn't tell her the truth; angry that she was trying to be my mom now and not when I needed her to be my mom. I'd helped people cheat because I'd needed to. It was the only way to keep us from being evicted and to make sure we had things like hot water and power. Sometimes, I didn't even make enough to guarantee that. I'd done what I had to do, but I couldn't tell her that. The truth would crush her. She was doing so well. She was going to therapy twice a week, was consistently taking her meds, and had a full-time job that she showed up for every day. I couldn't be an obstacle in her progress.

"I'm sorry," I repeated instead of offering an explanation.

"You're grounded. For two weeks. You go to school and that's it. You come right home after school."

"What?" I asked. "No. No, no. Victor's boyfriend has a huge gig tomorrow and I need to help the Salazars with something on Saturday. I can't be grounded."

"You should've thought about that before you did someone else's homework. You'll just have to tell them that you're sorry, but you're grounded." She crossed her arms.

I shook my head before I did something I'd never done before. I turned my back on my mom and walked out of my apartment. I heard her calling my name behind me, but the door swung closed and she didn't come after me.

I went to my safe haven. When I knocked on the door to the Salazar's apartment, Victor answered. His smile disappeared when he saw me. "What's wrong?"

"Is Pilar here?" I hadn't thought to grab my phone before I left. It was still sitting on the coffee table in my living room.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." When he stepped aside to let me in, I could see Benji on the couch. His legs were hanging over the arm of the couch and he had a book open. It was resting on his chest. When he saw me, he sat up. "Pilar!" Victor called. He turned back to me. "What happened with Ms. Albright?"

I kind of span in a circle around their living room instead of answering; I think I was trying to figure out what to do. Pilar came out of her room. She came right up to me and wrapped her arms around me. "How much trouble are you in?"

Yet again, I couldn't give the answer to the question that was directed towards me. I let myself melt in her embrace. When she relaxed her arms, I held her tighter because I was afraid she was going to let me go, and I felt like she was holding me together. "I don't want to talk out here," I said quietly. I know it didn't make sense, but it felt too big and open.

"Do you want to talk in Pilar's room or mine?" Victor asked after a minute passed.

"Your room," Pilar answered for me. "He'll feel better there." She pulled back. "Unless you don't want that."

"No, that sounds good." I finally let go and allowed Pilar to pull me to Victor's room. Victor showed up a second later with the blanket that I'd spent days curled up in when I'd been staying with them. He handed it to me before he put another blanket over his comforter. "Where's Benji?"

"He's in the living room. He wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with him here." Victor hesitated. "He knows that something happened with your mom in the fall, but he doesn't know the specific details."

I'd been in the process of crawling onto Victor's bed and I froze. "You didn't tell him?" I asked.

"Of course not." It was another thing that didn't make sense but that broke me. I couldn't help the cry that escaped me. Benji and Victor talked more than anyone else I knew. They talked about everything. Everything. Part of it was because they had gotten to such a bad place by not talking, but… wow. I couldn't believe he hadn't told Benji. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. I just… you kept something from Benji. For me."

"Yeah. I figured if you wanted him to know, you'd tell him."

"Call him in. I don't mind if he hears this. You can fill him in on anything he missed later," I offered.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. You and Benji are endgame. If you trust him, I trust him."

"I'll be right back."

Despite his words, Victor was gone nearly ten minutes. Pilar didn't press me for information; she just rested her head on my shoulder and rubbed circles into my back while we waited. I could feel my anxiety ebbing with every circle.

Victor returned with Benji. They took a seat on the floor in front of his dresser.

No one interrupted me while I recounted what had happened with Ms. Albright and then during my almost-fight with my mom and how I couldn't tell her why I'd done what I'd done.

When I finished, everyone was quiet. Benji started tapping his finger on his knee so rapidly, it was distracting. Victor put his hand over Benji's hand and held it to his knee.

"It's bullshit that you got suspended, you know," Victor said. "I can't believe Jordan told Ms. Albright you used to do his homework. What a dick."

"He didn't technically tell her I used to do his homework; he just lied and said I'd offered to do it recently," I grumbled.

"Even worse," Victor said.

"Are you sure you can't beat him up?" I asked.

Victor chuckled. "I'm sure. If you want, I can reach out to Lake and have her post something to creeksecrets. She's good at that. Oh, what did she say?" He looked at Benji.

"That she can strike the perfect balance of mildly scandalous," Benji chipped in. The smallest smile settled on his face. I'd been there when Lake offered that up. It ended up not mattering because, even without Lake, what Joel had done blew up. I thought it would be a long time before Joel wasn't in the spotlight.

"No. I know you're joking, but please don't tell her. I don't want her to know."

Pilar stiffened next to me. "Why not? Why would it matter if she knows?"

"Because she wouldn't understand," I answered honestly. "The people in this room right now? You're the people I trust. The last time I trusted Lake… my whole world fell apart." Victor opened his mouth. "I know what you're going to say and, yes, I know that she did what she thought she needed to do, and I love her for that; part of me will always be grateful that she got my mom the help she needed. But she promised that she wouldn't tell anyone what was going on." It was the only part that I still had trouble with. In my heart, I thought I would've accepted it if she'd told me she couldn't make that promise. But she hadn't. She'd looked me in the eye and promised to trust me. I loved her for risking our relationship to do what she thought was right, but it hurt so much more when everything went down because I was completely blindsided by it. I couldn't shake the feeling that things would've turned out differently if the 'we' she always talked about it had worked through it instead of her making decisions about my life.

"Okay. We won't tell her. So, what do you want to do?" Victor asked.

"Let's go out tonight," Pilar suggested. "We can go anywhere you want. My treat."

"I'm grounded."

"Yet, here you are," she pointed out.

"I agree with Pilar. Go out; let her take your mind off of things; have fun," Victor told me. Honestly, Victor should probably win some kind of award. He shot me a pointed look. "Just not too much fun."

I hoped I wasn't blushing but if Benji's sudden fascination with Victor's carpet was anything to go off of, I was. I knew Victor thought Pilar and I were having sex. We got about as close to sex as you could get without actually having it, but we hadn't progressed past that. Mostly, it was because we were almost never alone. We got a few minutes here or there, but her mom was always home way before school got out and, by the time we could get back to my apartment, we usually only had a few minutes before my mom would be home which was never enough time.

I was really looking forward to summer.

"Okay then," I agreed. "Where do you want to go?"

Pilar laced her fingers through mine. "Wherever you want."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Pilar's POV

When I offered to do whatever Felix wanted, I hadn't expected to end up in the same park we'd been to 100 times. "Are you sure you don't want to do something more exciting?" I asked him.

"No. I just want to be here with you."

I tightened my hold around him. I hadn't seen him like this since his mom was in the hospital. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "That you got suspended. That you can't tell your mom."

"So, you agree I can't tell her?"

I hesitated. "I understand why you feel like you can't tell her," I answered.

"That's not the same thing," he pointed out.

"I know. And that's because I wish you could tell your mom. You should be able to tell your mom anything, and I get that you can't because she has all of this stuff, and you don't know if telling her the truth will make some of her stuff get worse. You don't think it's worth the risk."

"Yeah." He looked at me amazed. "You, like, really understand me."

"Whatever. It's nothing." I shrugged.

"No, it's not nothing. I figured you'd go along with what I wanted to do because that's who you are, but you get why I can't tell her. Even if you don't like it."

"I do," I told him. Felix made a lot of sense to me. I thought it was because he was a genuinely good guy so he wasn't playing the stupid games most people played. He was honest and sincere which helped a lot. I didn't need to guess to figure out what he thought or how he felt; if he said it, he meant it.

"If you were me, what would you do?" he asked.

I looked away. "I want to tell you that you should get to be the kid. You shouldn't have to shoulder this by yourself but, if I was in your shoes and I'd almost lost my mom once, I'd do everything in my power to make sure it didn't happen again." I was pretty sure that made me the world's shittiest girlfriend. I should be encouraging him to talk to his mom and tell her the truth, but watching him go through what he went through six months ago had been hard enough. I couldn't watch him go through that and blame himself for it as well.

I was surprised when Felix hugged me. "Thank you. Thank you for not making me feel like I'm crazy."

I pulled back. "You're not crazy. Why would you think that?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes…" he cut himself off.

"What?" I asked him gently.

"Sometimes, I really worry about it. This stuff can be genetic, and I feel okay, but everyone always says that crazy people never really think they're crazy and-"

I cut him off with a kiss. "You are not crazy," I told him seriously. This wasn't the first time he'd made a comment about it being genetic, and I'd taken to Google months ago in the hopes that we'd be able to have this exact conversation one day. "Your mom's not crazy, so there's no way you can be crazy genetically."

"But my mom-"

"Is bipolar," I finished. "That doesn't mean she's crazy." He looked at me, and I realized that he didn't think she was crazy; he just needed the validation that she wasn't. "Her brain sends mixed signals to her body and that's okay. It means that her lows are going to be lower and her highs are going to be higher but that doesn't change that she's your mom and she is just as sane as anyone else. She's proving every day that it can be managed with the right treatment plan. Maybe it took a little while for her to get there and I'm sorry for what you went through while she got there, but you need to remember that you can learn from her. You know the warning signs. If you're worried that you might… I don't know. Start to feel manic or depressed or more anxious than you can handle, then we prepare for it."

"How?"

"You talk about it," I told him. "With me, with a therapist. Hell, talk to Victor if you want but talk about it." I traced the edge of his hand. "Talk about how scared you are that you might feel some of the things your mom feels; talk about what it was like when you had to deal with her episodes; talk about whatever you want. And maybe you want to start with the anxiety you've been feeling." I didn't want to push him to talk about it because he'd only said it in passing or made jokes about it in his make-jokes-because-the-alternative-is-accepting-that-it's-true kind of way. I'd started to recognize it a little bit more; I was pretty sure that his "crippling anxiety" was more than a joke to him. If that wasn't a joke, I really couldn't be sure that there was something else he was holding in that I was oblivious to. I didn't want to be the kind of girlfriend that watched his every move, but I felt like we needed to talk about this, or I would absolutely become that.

Felix ducked his head. "It's nothing."

"You don't have to do that with me." I brought my hand up to his face and pushed some of his hair out of his eyes. "Whatever you're feeling, I can take it."

I was surprised when he let out a shaky breath. "You don't understand."

"Then help me to." I thought it was odd that he went from telling me I understood to insisting I couldn't understand in like three seconds.

Felix looked. "There's something I haven't told you because I was really scared it might be too much for you. Outside of me and my mom and some extended family that I never see anymore, no one knows." He clutched handfuls of his hair in his hands.

"You're scaring me."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Imagine how I feel."

"What's going on?" I tried to make my voice sound gentle. "Whatever it is, you can trust me."

"I know I can trust you. It's not about that."

"What's it about then?"

"Do you remember when we talked about my dad?"

I hadn't been expecting that. He told me about his dad a few weeks after we started dating. I was embarrassed to say that I'd just assumed his parents were divorced, but he'd explained that his dad died in an accident when he was little. I think he said he was four or five. "A little."

"I don't remember a lot about my dad," he whispered.

"How could you? You were really little."

"Not so little that I don't remember anything. He used to make all these jokes; I remember one so vividly that he used to do when he got home from work every single day. He'd walk in and pretend to be blind and insisted that only a hug from me and a kiss from my mom could heal his sight. I believed it." He shook his head as a small smile spread across his face. "Every day, I would wait for him. He'd walk in with his eyes shut and his hands in front of him and would bump into anything he could. I thought he was the funniest person in existence. When he died, no one would tell me what happened. I remember feeling so confused and scared. When everything went down with my mom, it brought all of that up again. I felt like I was this scared little kid that didn't understand what happened to his parent. The more my mom started to experience episodes, the more I realized that… I'm not so different from my dad and that scares me. You want me to talk about why I'm anxious and part of it is social anxiety; part of it is that I'm scared of myself because I'm too much like him."

"Why would that scare you?" I asked uncertainly. "Your dad sounded great."

He looked down at his knees. "I thought he was too," he whispered. "I didn't know, you know. It was years before I found out. My mom cut off all ties with my dad's side after one of my cousins told me they wished it had been me. They told me what happened. All about the accident… but it wasn't an accident. At least, not an accidental accident."

My heart started to pound. "What do you mean?"

"He…" Felix brought his hands up to his eyes. He was shaking so hard. I brought my hands to his arms, but it didn't seem to help. "He killed himself."

"Oh my God." I pulled him close to me and hugged him as tightly as I could. It seemed like that was what he needed to let himself go. He started to sob into my shoulder which only made me tighten my hold on him. I felt numb. I couldn't imagine keeping something like that to yourself.

A fog seemed to settle over my brain and it didn't clear even when he'd pulled himself back together… well, as much as he could after reopening a wound like that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I knew the moment the words were out that it was the wrong thing to ask. It didn't matter why he hadn't told me; all that mattered was that he'd told me. I needed to be here for him right now and not focus on how I couldn't be there in the past. I was about to tell him exactly that, but he answered me before I could.

"Because I can't even deal with it, how are you supposed to? I mean, everything with my mom was more than enough to make you run for the hills, but this? What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, my dad killed himself because he had really serious and untreated depression and my mom has bipolar depression, so you're falling in love with someone that's mentally screwed. Would you like pizza or Chinese tonight?' I didn't… I don't…" He let out a strangled sound, and I hugged him tight again.

I was grateful that he couldn't see me because I had no idea what my face must look like. "It's okay," I whispered. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Maybe you can't deal with this on your own, but you're not on your own anymore. You've got me; you're going to be okay."

"Are you sure about this? Do you know what you're agreeing to?"

I took a second to compose myself before I pulled back from our hug so I could see him. "I'm not agreeing to anything. There's nothing to agree with," I said slowly. "I love you, Felix. We don't know if you're ever going to feel the things your parents did and if it turns out that one day, you start to feel like you need some more help, I want to be there for you; I'll support you no matter what. We'll get through this." He still had an uncomfortable look on his face. "What?"

"Nothing," he smiled softly. "I'm just really lucky to have you."

"You are," I said. I tried to sound smug and not at all like my world had cosmically shifted. In truth, I was terrified. I thought that was for the best that he couldn't properly see me. I'd wrap my head around all of this eventually, but I didn't want him to see how overwhelming I found it right now. Despite that, I didn't feel like it was too much. When I'd been with Erick, my mom always joked about how intense I got when I fell for someone. She was right. When I found someone I clicked with, I was all in with them. Through all the ups and downs and twists and turns. It never felt like a choice for me. "I mean it. Whatever happens, I'm here for you."

He closed his eyes for a second. "I love you."

Felix walked me back to my apartment a few minutes later. When I walked in the door, Victor and Benji were wrestling over the remote.

"Is he okay?" Victor asked, immediately letting Benji gain control of the remote. His smile faded as he looked at me. I nodded, but it was like everything I hadn't let myself feel when we'd been in the park hit me. The sadness for what Felix went through and the terror for what he still might go through. I could feel the warm trail of a tear sliding down my cheek. I'd never been a crier. Even when I was younger, it always took a lot to make me cry at all. I hastily wiped it away, but I wasn't fast enough. Victor's eyes widened. "Are you?"

I could only shake my head. "Did… did you break up?" Benji asked uncertainly.

I shook my head again. Victor climbed to his feet and approached me hesitantly. "What happened?"

"I can't tell you." My voice sounded as shaky as I felt.

"Okay." When he reached for me, I didn't hesitate to lose myself in his embrace. "It's okay," he whispered. "I got you."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Rahim's POV

I was staring at my ceiling and wishing Ryker would answer their phone. They'd been kind of M.I.A. for such a long time. I hadn't seen them in over a week and I was desperate to tell them about what went down with TJ and my talk with Victor. It was so weird to have had such a big thing happen that I couldn't talk to them about.

They'd skipped lunch every day and, since that was the only time I ever saw them during school and because they weren't answering their phone, this was the longest I'd gone without talking to them since we met. I missed them like crazy and was genuinely considering just stopping by their house to make sure they were okay. It was only my memories of their terrifying parents and the deeply uncomfortable conversations about religion their parents loved to have that kept me away.

My phone rang pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. "Hey," I said, surprised when I saw it was Victor.

"Hey. What are you doing right now?"

"Contemplating my lonely existence."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm just being dramatic because I'm so bored that I've thought about reorganizing our pantry by color scheme." I didn't add that I missed TJ like crazy to the point that I'd thought about calling him to apologize. It was all kinds of messed up, and I'd managed to stop myself thus far.

"Um… that sounds like so much fun, but would you rather do something that doesn't suck?"

I snickered. "What did you have in mind?"

"We could use your help with something."

"We?"

"Me and Pilar and Benji. My dad is asking my mom to renew their vows today and he's held up at work. We have two hours to transform our apartment and we're hopeless," he explained. "Pilar pointed out that you can essentially make garbage into a decoration, so we were hoping you might want to come over."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," I told him.

When I arrived at the Salazar's apartment, I couldn't help but think about the last time I'd been here. It had been one of the worst nights of my life. Pilar opened the door, and I saw that Victor and Benji were literally tangled up in string lights. I couldn't begin to figure out how they'd managed to do that. "It's good that you had him call me," I said as I looked at them. "Do I want to know?"

"No. I promise you don't," Pilar said. "Thanks for coming. Felix hasn't been able to sneak out yet, so I've been stuck with these two for an hour. You can see all the progress we've made."

"Felix has to sneak out?"

Victor managed to get out of the mess of string lights and gave me a quick wave as he started to pull them off of Benji.

"Yeah. He's grounded because he got suspended. And then got even more grounded because we went out on Thursday. And even more grounded because he went to Benji's concert yesterday."

"I never knew Felix was so much of a rule breaker." It did not fit in with anything I knew about him. "He's trying to sneak out for the third time?"

Pilar shrugged. "It's not as bad as it sounds. He didn't really sneak out. His mom knew he left, but he's grounded so he wasn't supposed to leave."

"And we're just cool with him getting in more trouble?"

Pilar and Victor exchanged looks. "The thing that he got grounded for… let's just say he has a good reason. If he could explain himself, he wouldn't be grounded, but he can't. He doesn't want to miss out on stuff for something out of his control, and we're with him on it," Victor said after a long time. "He thinks it's worth an extra two weeks of being grounded, and it's his choice."

I felt like I was missing something, but I wasn't going to push them on it. "Do I need to go break him out of his apartment before I can get started in here?"

"Can you?" Pilar asked uncertainly.

I grinned at her. "Leave it to me. He's one floor up, right?"

"Right," Pilar confirmed.

I ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. A woman, who I assumed was Felix's mom, answered the door. Felix poked his head out of his door, but I pretended not to see him. "Hi," I said in my most winning voice. "My name is… Ashkan." I decided last minute to use my dad's name because I wasn't sure if Felix had ever mentioned me. "I don't know if you've met my parents yet. We moved into 402 a few months ago. My mom is currently in the middle of making bastani akbar mashti and she realized that we don't have enough flour. She was hoping you might be able to spare a cup." I was counting on the fact that Felix's mom didn't know that bastani was ice cream. It was the first thing that popped into my head. "And may I say that you are rocking the floral blouse, ma'am. It really complements you."

A smile spread across her face. "Of course, hun," she said. "If you wait right here, I'll put some in a bag for you."

"Thank you so much." The moment her back was to me, I waved Felix out the door. He didn't hesitate, and I wasn't sure if Pilar had texted him or if he wasn't going to turn down his first escape opportunity.

His mom came back a minute later with a bag filled with way more than one cup of flour. "Just in case."

"Thank you so much. You are a lifesaver!"

I made a show of starting to ascend the stairs to the fourth floor until I heard her close the door. Then, I went back to the Salazar's apartment.

"You, my friend, deserve a medal," Felix told me.

I shrugged. "Now that the dream team is together, what's the plan?"

"We need to make this look like a starry night," Victor explained. "My dad already made a small bridge and we have some flowers in a vase in the kitchen so he can grab one when it's his turn, but we're supposed to somehow recreate the stars and their reflection in a pond."

"Do you have black construction paper?" I asked.

Victor glanced at Pilar. "I'm sure we have some in our craft bucket," she answered. "How much do you need?"

"Let's start with however much you might have and we'll work our way backward. Where is the bridge?"

"My room," Victor answered. "Should I grab it?"

"Yeah. We can't figure out the design around the bridge without the bridge," I pointed out.

Benji and Victor disappeared for a minute and returned with each of them holding one end of a bridge. They made it look effortless, but I could see Victor's arm muscles straining, so it must've been heavy.

They put it down in the middle of the living room, and Pilar returned with three pieces of black construction paper. "Is that it?" I asked incredulously.

"We have a ton of every other color, but Adrian must've done a project that needed black paper because this is all we have."

"Let me think. Someone turn off the lights."

I didn't check to see who did it, but I noticed it barely made a difference. In two hours, it would still be bright, so if we wanted to create anything like an illusion of the night sky, we needed to take care of the windows.

It took every second of the two hours until Victor's dad got home, but we created a half-decent starry sky with minimal awkwardness. I expected two hours with Benji to be weird but, whether it was because Victor had ordered him to be nice or he felt bad about what happened to me last week, he made an active effort to include me in his conversation and we got by. I still maintained that Benji and I would never be friends, but it was a welcome surprise that he was trying.

When Victor ran to the bathroom as we were arranging the string lights, I took the chance to talk to Benji about it. "Thank you," I said quietly. "For being so cool with me being here. I know it's probably just because I went through some shit last week, but I've been having a rough time, and this is honestly the best I've felt since I broke up with TJ, so it means a lot to me that you're not making a big deal about me being here and-"

"That's not why," he interrupted. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Felix and Pilar couldn't hear us. They were very clearly not doing the task I'd asked them to do and instead were having some kind of cutesy moment in front of the patchwork of dark t-shirts that was blocking the window (thank god that Victor had a really basic wardrobe because it came in handy right now). "I don't know exactly what went down last week, but I know Victor likes you. He wants to be your friend, and I'm not going to stand in the way of that."

"Victor didn't tell you?" I asked surprised. I'd just assumed if Victor knew something, Benji would know it as well, especially after Victor's whole we-talk-to-each-other spiel.

Benji shook his head. "He told me that something happened but that he couldn't give me details," he explained. A small smile crossed his face. "He's good like that." He quickly shook his head. "I have to be honest… you being here makes me really uncomfortable. It reminds me of everything that went wrong between me and Victor, but it makes him happy to have you in his life and that's way more important to me." I stared at Benji. That was unexpected. "I wish I could say I like you because I think that would be easiest for Victor, but I don't. I don't know if I ever will or if I'll ever stop worrying that you might still have feelings for him, but I'm going to try because that's what he needs."

Victor came back and kissed Benji's cheek. "Did you even try to hang these without me?"

Benji chuckled. "And face Rahim's wrath when it all comes crashing down? No thank you."

"I'm not that bad," I scoffed.

"You called us blind urchins when we first started hanging these up," he pointed out.

"I stand by it." It was the whole reason I was supervising. For someone as artsy as Benji was - and I'd seen some of his work hanging around Victor's bedroom; it was phenomenal - he didn't have a clue when it came to designing a space like this.

Benji snickered, and I felt a peace settle between us. Victor's face lit up as banter passed between us, and I knew Benji was right. Despite the wounded feelings I'd nursed into a picture of Victor discarding me without a second thought, he cared about me. When he said he wanted to be friends, it was a genuine sentiment. Like Benji, I would figure out how to make this work because I wanted to keep being friends with Victor and that meant I had to figure out how to have Benji in my life as well.

I romantically was over Victor and, as I watched him with Benji, a different kind of jealousy filled me; I wanted what they had so badly that sometimes it hurt. Despite that, I found a smile spreading across my face. There was something about the impossibility of this moment - the impossibility of being Victor's friend again and getting along with Benji and being able to spend a couple of hours outside of my head - that filled me with a sense of peace I didn't know it was possible to feel.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Adrian's POV

I couldn't remember the last time my mom and I did something, just the two of us, that didn't involve hanging around our apartment or running errands. Back in Texas, we used to go out once a month. To the movies, a day trip to Dallas, to the playground. It had been our time, and I hadn't realized how much I missed it.

Today had just been lunch, but it was still nice. And she let me get a piece of cake for dessert. My mom never let us get dessert when we went out because she said it was always overpriced, so it felt like a real treat.

"This was nice, mijo," she said as we were leaving. "I'm glad you suggested it."

I was glad Victor suggested it. He was the one that pointed out how long it had been since we'd done this and how much fun it used to be.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I've missed doing these. Why did we stop when we moved?"

My mom immediately stiffened. "Moving was tough." Yeah. I got that. I knew there was something they weren't telling me about it. Maybe Benji would tell me. He was the only one that treated me like I wasn't a little kid. "Tell you what. Because this is our first date in nearly a year and a half, let's keep the party going. What else do you want to do?"

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah. We're having such a good time, and we don't have anything to do."

"I'm supposed to watch a movie with Victor and Benji. Can you text him and let him know we'll be late?"

"I can do that. What do you want to do?"

"Can we feed the ducks?"

It used to be one of my favorite things to do in Texas. There was this pond where all kinds of ducks gathered and I would throw handfuls of oats into the pond and watch them flock. It was fascinating.

The lake my mom took me to today wasn't as spectacular; it was way bigger than the pond in Texas, but there were only about a dozen ducks. There was one tiny brown duck that caught my attention, and I specifically tried to throw the oats closer to them so they would get to eat some stuff before the bigger ducks could get there.

We spent over an hour at that lake. I loved watching them. If my dad would've gone for it, I probably would've asked for a bird instead of a turtle. Except, I loved Heather and I was so happy with her.

When we got back to our apartment, we could hear indistinct voices on the other side of the door. I didn't know if they were watching for us, but the moment we got close to the door, it got silent. An envelope with my name on it flew under the door.

"What's going on?" my mom asked.

"I don't know." I picked it up and opened it. As I read through the note, I felt like I might never stop smiling. "I have to read something out loud." I coughed to clear my throat. "Adrian, we've got a story for you. It's called, 'Beauty and the Busboy'." The corners of my mom's lips twitched. "Twenty-three years, four months, and sixteen days ago, a beautiful woman walked into a diner looking for a job. She nervously spoke to the manager who gave her the job on the spot. Her new coworker, a strapping young busboy, introduced himself. Little did either of them know how significantly their lives would be altered by that moment. Open the door. Oh." I reached out and turned the knob but only opened the door a little. "Come inside to find out how the story ends." I hoped I did okay reading all of that. I didn't think I stumbled across my words too much.

I fully pushed open the door so my mom and I could walk into our apartment. We stopped dead right inside of the entrance as we took in the tiny, flickering string lights hanging everywhere in our apartment.

Someone shut the door behind us, and Victor stepped forward.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Armando's POV

Victor and Pilar nailed it. The apartment looked beautiful when I got home from work. "Mom just texted me. She and Adrian are feeding the ducks at Piedmont Park, so they're gonna be a little bit."

I let out a sigh of relief. I'd gotten held up because the big boss requested a meeting with all of the middle management about our new bid. It could have been an email, but I wasn't in a position to say no to anything he asked. "It looks great in here," I complimented.

"That's mostly thanks to Rahim. I invited him to stay. I hope you don't mind," Pilar explained. It was the first time I noticed that he was standing at the edge of the living room. I'd met Rahim once before when he and Victor were skipping school but hadn't seen him since.

"I can leave if this is a family-only thing," Rahim said. "It's so nice to see you again, Mr. Salazar."

"You are welcome to stay. This is a celebration. I'm going to shower, then we'll run through it once. Do we all know what we're saying?"

"Pilar didn't let me go to sleep last night until I had my lines memorized," Victor said. "So, I'm good."

"I didn't need someone to withhold sleep from me to want this to go well," Pilar said. "So, I'm good too. Though, I am a little grumpy because someone sucks at memorizing four sentences and kept all of us up."

"I kept you up?" Victor asked. "Do we wanna go there? I'm not the one that-"

"Okay," Benji said; he took a little step forward as if he was trying to shield Victor from Pilar. "Can we agree you kept each other and everyone around you up because you needed to get your lines 'just right'?"

"I second that," Felix said.

I hid my smile. Benji's parents had hosted a sleepover for everyone after Benji's concert yesterday. We probably wouldn't have been okay with Pilar going, especially once we knew Felix would be there, but they'd all slept in the living room and Margaret had promised us that she would regularly check in on them. It was a pretty big group from what we'd heard.

Pilar and Victor typically got along with each other, but when they got into their back-and-forth, they really got into it. They both got competitive when they were together, so it wasn't hard to imagine what their night could have looked like.

"We're not that bad," Pilar and Victor said at the same time.

"Okay," I said once I was sure they were done. "I'm gonna go shower. Is the note for Adrian ready to go?"

"Yeah. I printed it out on that fancy paper you bought."

"Perfect."

I took the fastest shower of my life and then we all waited. In retrospect, it was probably only ten minutes or so, but I was just as nervous as the night I'd proposed to Isa. Somehow, this felt so much more high-stakes than that. Probably because we were practically kids that didn't know better when I'd proposed to her, and we'd been through so much since then. This felt like a much bigger choice.

I stood in the kitchen when they walked in and told the story that Victor and Pilar had painstakingly helped me write. Pilar's line of "our family was complete, happy and, for all intents and purposes, perfect" was my cue.

I grabbed the flower from the kitchen table and stepped out of the kitchen. "Twenty-three years, three kids, a move across the country, and a recommitment to our marriage later, and I am the happiest I have ever been with you," I said. I tucked the flower into her hair. "Almost twenty years ago, we stood at the front of St. Mary's surrounded by our family and friends and vowed to be together for the rest of our lives." I gently pulled her hand towards the bridge they had arranged in front of the couch. "We are not the same people we were then, but we are just as madly in love. I am so grateful that we found our way back to each other. So, surrounded by this makeshift family we've created here in Georgia…" I got down on one knee. "Isabel Carmen Salazar, will you renew our vows?"

Isabel was quietly bawling to herself. She nodded before she threw her arms around me and kissed me. "Of course," she whispered in between kisses.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Lake's POV

In a feat of irony, it was my mom that canceled our dinner. Someone's kid had chickenpox, so she got invited to an exclusive dinner party. I hadn't really listened aside to know that she was not going to be home the Saturday she was supposed to meet Lucy.

I knew it was messed up, but I was so relieved to delay the inevitable and it helped that Lucy couldn't be mad at me because it was genuinely beyond my control. She still ended up coming over, and we spent a Saturday avoiding the tension that had been brewing between us since we started coming out to people.

I hadn't anticipated that. I'd always figured once people knew about us, it would be like a weight off our shoulders, but it only seemed to serve as a reminder of how many more people needed to know.

We rescheduled our dinner, and all of the panic I'd managed to avoid last week hit me like a truck. I'd kind of hoped that something would come up, but Friday had come without even the slightest excuse on the horizon. I'd considered trying to schedule it for tomorrow and then canceling at the last minute because I 'forgot' about Benji's concert, but Lucy would've seen through that in a heartbeat.

My mom didn't know much about the dinner. I'd just asked her if we could sit down and have a family dinner together. I'd thought my dad might give me a reason to cancel, but he'd gone as far as to send someone else on his work trip so we could do this. He worked with produce and once a month, he traveled to a different place in the country to inspect the fruits and vegetables different states were planning on distributing.

My mom had made chicken parmesan which was a huge treat in our house. Our dinner wasn't usually breaded. If she was surprised when Lucy showed up for dinner, she didn't say anything.

"I don't believe we've met."

"I'm Lucy Hayes." Lucy offered my mom her hand. "It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Meriwether."

"It's nice to meet you as well." My mom gestured to our kitchen table and we sat down. "Are you working on a project for one of your classes or something?"

Lucy looked at me and I started to play with the edge of our tablecloth. "Actually, no. I mean, we do go to school together, but we're not working on a project. I met her through Benji. She's his best friend."

"How are Benji and Victor doing?" my mom asked. I knew it was cowardly, but I kind of jumped at the chance to not tell her right away.

"They're good. Benji's band is taking off. He has another concert tomorrow night."

"You know what, good for him. He's putting himself out there, and it's paying off for him. I remember when I first started working at the station-" I groaned. She told this story every chance she got. About how she started at the bottom and clawed her way to the top. "I'm sorry that you're not impressed. I worked very hard to get where I am today."

My dad put his hand on her elbow. "You have a very impressive career, and we are all so proud of how hard you've worked to get here," he appeased. "Lucy, what do your parents do?"

"My dad owns his own company. They sell parts for commercial fishing boats. And… my mom died when I was thirteen. Cancer," Lucy said softly. It had been a little under four years and I knew it was still really tough on her.

My mom put her fork down. "I'm so sorry, honey. We didn't know."

Lucy shrugged. "It was a long time ago."

"But it never gets easier," my dad said. "My mom passed away when I was twelve; every holiday and birthday and life event, I find myself imagining what she would say."

Lucy looked at me. "I do the same thing. I wonder if she would have been proud of who I've become over the last four years or whether she'd be disappointed in me."

"She'd be so proud of you," I said quietly. I wanted to be able to reach towards her and take her hand. I wanted to tell her how proud I was. But I couldn't do it. Just like I couldn't tell my mom and dad that she was my girlfriend. "I, uh, have to run to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

I washed my face about thirty times to try to calm myself down, but it was futile. I couldn't do this. I wasn't brave enough. I think Lucy knew before I even got back to the table that I wasn't going to go through with this.

To her credit, she still schmoozed her way through the dinner. It wasn't until I walked her to the door that she said, "I can't keep being your secret."

"What?"

Lucy wiped under her eyes and when she spoke, her voice shook. "You told me that we weren't going to have to keep this from our parents. You told me that you were going to tell them tonight. Lake, I've tried to be patient, but I'm ready for people to know and if you're not, that's fine. I'm not going to tell you that you have to tell them because I don't want you to tell them until you're ready, and this has to be something you do for yourself and not for me. It's just, I'm ready, and I think this means that we've gone as far as we can go."

"Don't do this." I could feel a burning in the back of my throat and I was trying very hard not to cry.

"I'm sorry. I really am."

Lucy didn't look at me as she ran to her dad's car. I couldn't look away as she climbed in and drove away. I couldn't wrap my head around what had just happened.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Mia's POV

It was over dinner one random Friday that I finally met the mysterious Malcolm. Andrew and I had just been talking about how there was only a week left of school. We'd stayed on top of our schoolwork, so we were, fortunately, still going to pass our junior year. Though, Andrew thought that had more to do with the sizable donation his dad probably made to the school than their flexibility with our unauthorized trip. We didn't have confirmation of it yet, but Andrew was reasonably confident that that's what happened.

Malcolm wasn't what I expected. He kind of looked like someone playing a homeless man in a movie. Like, just slightly too polished to actually be homeless while still looking unkempt.

"Malcolm," Ginger greeted warmly. "This is Mia. Naomi's girl."

"Mia," he said. I was instantly on edge because there was something weird about the way he said my name. "Your mom talked about you a lot."

"Did she?"

"Oh, yeah. Not that we did a whole lot of talking."

I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't need to hear that. "Right. Um." I shook my head. "What did she say about me?"

"That you were her biggest regret."

I looked away from him. My mom wasn't exactly winning mother of the year awards; I couldn't say I was surprised she regretted having me, but it still hurt to get that confirmation.

"She always said she wished she had said goodbye before she left, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to go if she did," Ginger told me. She cast Malcolm a scathing look. "She doesn't regret you; she regrets hurting you."

"That's what I said," Malcolm protested.

I ignored him and instead addressed my question to Ginger. "She said she didn't think she'd leave if she said goodbye? Did she talk about where she went?"

"She went to find herself," Malcolm answered. "She became a woman of the world."

"What… what does that mean?" Malcolm only raised his eyebrows at me. Ugh. This guy? Really? This was who my mom spent her time with? I turned back to Ginger and waited.

"She didn't talk about why she left, just that she regretted it. Something about needing to live her life and needing to find a way to be happy. She'd lost that for a while."

"Yeah. She got happy with guys across America."

"Can you not talk about my mom that way? Thanks."

"Do you know where she is?" Andrew asked in an attempt to defuse our situation before it could escalate further.

"O'course. Talked to her just yesterday. She's in Atlanta. She moved to Savannah for a bit, but when her ex got remarried, she felt like she needed to face her demons in Atlanta."

I snapped my head up to look at him. "Do you have an address?"

"Yeah. Don't know what good it will do ya. She doesn't want people to just stop by." He sounded bitter and I was relieved that she had some boundaries with this guy.

He scrawled her address on the back of a receipt, and Andrew confirmed he understood the messy writing before we left.

"She's been in Atlanta this whole time. We've been chasing her around the country, and she's been in Atlanta. I feel so stupid."

"Do you regret it?"

"What?"

"Do you regret it? Do you regret traveling the country and learning everything you learned about your mom? Do you regret going on this trip?"

I frowned and looked away. "No," I answered after a long time. "At some point, this became about so much more than my mom. I feel like I found myself."

"Then it was worth it." He kissed me gently. "We can leave in the morning."

"Good. Then we can spend tonight planning our trip back."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean that I don't want to drive through the next two days to get back to Atlanta. I want to take this slow and know that once we get back to Atlanta, nothing will ever be the same again," I told him. "I'm either going to be taking off and moving to California in a month or I'm going to be in Georgia and my dad will resent me for the rest of his life for staying behind while he accepts the opportunity of a lifetime."

"He's not going to resent you, Mia."

"You don't know him like I do," I said softly. "I just want to be with you for a few days. Without having to worry about finding my mom because we've finally found her. Without thinking about how pissed our parents are going to be that we've been away for six months. Can we just take this slow and be us?"

"How slow? Because we can't avoid this forever."

"Not too slow," I clarified. "Just a few days. Let's aim for being back in Georgia on… Wednesday."

"Okay," he agreed. "We get to live in our own little world until Wednesday."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

I could always spot Victor in the crowd. It didn't matter how dark it was or how many people were there. I wasn't sure if it was intentional, but he always positioned himself so I could see him. He was never in the very first row because I think he found that to be too rowdy, but he was always close, and I drew strength from that.

Tonight was no different. We'd been opening for a band called The Minor Keys for the past three weeks, but this was their last concert in Georgia. It was kind of bittersweet. We'd gotten a taste of what it would feel like to succeed, but we had no idea if this was the end of our lucky streak. If this was going to be our last gig like this, I wanted to go out with a bang.

It took one look at Victor's euphoric expression for all of those doubts and uncertainties to fade away. It was like I wasn't playing for a huge crowd; I was just playing for Victor. When our set was done, we got to stand just off the stage and enjoy the rest of the concert.

Afterward, Victor was there. He always waited for me in the backstage area while I debriefed with the band and, in a lot of ways, the hug and kiss I always got from him were my favorite moments of the night. They were the perfect end to an exhilarating night.

Usually, Victor had a whole entourage with him. He'd made it his mission to bring as much support as he could. Tonight though, it was just him and Lucy. Lucy hadn't given us details of what had happened the night before, but she'd said that she and Lake weren't together anymore, Felix was grounded (and very well might be for the rest of his life at this point), and Pilar had been roped into babysitting duty.

I kind of liked the smaller group. I led Victor and Lucy to the same small sitting area we'd ended up in after every show. It had comfy couches and soft, relaxing colors. Victor sat on the arm next to me.

"Where's Stevie?"

"Eric asked to talk to him," Coryn said with a shrug. Eric was the lead singer in the band we'd been opening for. I wasn't surprised. Stevie had essentially stepped up as a pseudo manager for us, so he'd been the one talking to the band and their manager at every step of this process.

Stevie was gone for nearly an hour before he came back. "Uh, guys. I need to talk to you."

"Do you want us to step out?" Victor asked uncertainly.

"If you wouldn't mind." Something was off. Victor squeezed my shoulder before he and Lucy left.

"What's going on?" Coryn asked.

"I, uh, just spoke with the whole band. They're going on tour this summer up and down the east coast. Their drummer's dad is loaded and is sponsoring their tour for six weeks so they can get their name out there more."

"Okay," I said slowly.

"They like our sound and want us to go with them." For a moment, we all just stared at Stevie as if he'd told us he was secretly a dog pretending to be a human. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real. "You guys, we can do this. With what they're going to pay us and the money we made for the past three weeks, we can do this. Even if we bomb at sales, we have enough to get us through the six weeks."

His words seemed to hang in between us. "When would we go?" Tosh asked.

"They leave on Friday to get settled, but they don't need us until their first performance in June in Miami."

"What did you tell them?" I asked.

"That we needed to talk about it. We don't need to make a decision about it tonight. Let's go home. Sleep on it. Talk to our parents." I felt my heart sink. There was no way my parents were going to trust me to go away for six weeks. They barely trusted me to come here and play with my band. "Coryn, you, in particular, need your parents' permission. The rest of us are adults, but they have to sign something for you. I can get that to you after you talk to them. We have rehearsal on Thursday. We can figure out the semantics of this then. They'll send me their tour schedule once we commit to this. Benji, you cool?"

I could only nod even though I was so far from being cool with it. I felt like I'd never wanted something so badly in my life, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. My parents still breathalyzed me when I got back from rehearsal; they trusted Victor enough to believe that I hadn't had anything to drink in Vegas but this? There was no way. "I gotta go," I said. "Victor has curfew." It wasn't even close to being true. Victor was spending the night at my house, so he didn't have anywhere to be. I just needed him to make me forget that I was still reaping the consequences of my accident.

I couldn't make myself tell him that night. It wasn't that I thought he wouldn't take it well; I felt like I wasn't ready for how quickly this was happening.

When I woke up, I watched Victor for a minute. I knew six weeks apart wasn't that long but it felt impossible. How was I supposed to go six weeks without seeing him? It was irrelevant, I reminded myself. Because I wasn't going to be able to go. I might be an adult, but I couldn't just take off without my parents' permission.

I convinced myself that there was no point in telling him, and then he woke up, so I didn't have much room for thinking about music.

I knew it was wrong not to tell him, but what good would it do? I would just stress him out for no reason.

Around lunchtime, Victor asked me if I wanted to go out. He was acting weird. I thought it was strange that he'd stayed with me instead of heading home, but I wasn't about to complain about more time with him.

He looked nervous when I agreed. We just went to a diner. He seemed to relax once we were seated.

It wasn't until we were done eating that he shed some light on what was going on. "Do you know what today is?" he asked.

"Sunday," I said uncertainly.

He grinned. "Yes. It's also… your half-birthday. You are eighteen and a half today!"

He was right, I realized. "Okay," I said slowly.

"I know that your birthday… was kind of a disaster and it was mostly my fault."

"It wasn't your fault," I told him. "We weren't in a great place and everything about that day just pushed us over the edge."

"Because I made you feel like shit," he pointed out. "We're not arguing over this again. We agreed to disagree. My point is that I did everything I wasn't supposed to do on your birthday. The entire time we were together before your birthday, you never asked me for anything. You let me do things my own way and supported me through all of my shit, but when you asked for my understanding, I didn't even try to give it to you. It was literally the one day a year where I was supposed to put aside my own stuff and focus on whatever you wanted. And I couldn't give that to you. So, today's about you. I can't go back and change the shit that happened on your birthday, but I can give you a second birthday."

"You don't need to do this," I told him.

"Remember, you're not supposed to say I don't need to do boyfriendy things. I want to do this because you deserve a day to celebrate you… you deserve 365 days, but let's start with this one. It's not fair that you didn't get it last year. It's not fair you didn't get it the year before either but that one wasn't my fault." He frowned. "Sorry. I kind of lost my train of thought. My point is, suck it up because we're celebrating your birthday."

I couldn't help my smile. "And how are we celebrating?" I asked.

"Well, we're starting with lunch. Then I thought we could go to a movie or on a walk or whatever you want. Your parents are going out tonight, so we'll make dinner at your place and my mom okayed me staying over tonight, so I need to stop home to grab a change of clothes for school tomorrow."

"How'd you swing that?"

"We're going to be babysitting Adrian every Friday for the rest of our lives," he told me. "I thought it would be worth it."

"I vote bowling. I have not been bowling in like five years. I want to roll a heavy ball at a bunch of pins. But, we have to get bumpers."

Victor snickered. "Bumpers?" he questioned.

"It's my special day," I reminded him. "You said we'd do what I want."

"Yes, and we'll get bumpers. But why?"

"Because I once bowled a perfect 0 and, while I'm very proud of that, I don't want history to repeat itself."

"Is this why we've never gone bowling?" Victor asked, his eyes wide.

I looked down at the table. Admittedly, that was part of it. The other part was that I was pretty sure Victor was going to kick my ass at bowling. "Are you good at it?"

Victor looked thoughtful. "I'm not the worst," he conceded.

That was Victor-talk for he was really good. "Come on. You owe me one kiss for every point you win by."

"You just gave me a very good incentive to play my best game," he teased.

"Good. Because I plan to cash those in after dinner."

He laughed, and it was one of my favorite sounds. He paid for lunch before we took a bus to Midtown.

I was right. Victor was good. He wasn't perfect-score good, but he was way better than me. By the time we finished the third game, Victor's total score was easily over a hundred points higher than mine. I didn't feel like I lost though. Victor was overly enthusiastic the one time I managed to bowl a strike and bowled in the most ridiculous ways to "even the playing field"; it was so much fun.

By the time dinner rolled around, I didn't think there was anything more he could do to make my half-birthday better.

"We should celebrate my half-birthday every year. We can leave my birthday for my parents because that's always gonna be a shitshow and make this the day that you celebrate me. I loved this," I told him.

"We can do that, but I have an ulterior motive," he admitted. "Sort of. I've been planning on doing something for your half-birthday for a while, but I was a little extra for a reason."

"What do you mean?"

"I, uh, got you something." We were both leaning on the island while the pasta boiled and he pushed a little box towards me.

"This was more than enough," I told him. I felt like this might be the best half-birthday in the history of half-birthdays.

"No, it wasn't. I know it doesn't make up for your birthday, but it's something."

I opened the little box and pulled out a small keychain inside. I stared at it. "How'd you find out?"

"Stevie texted me at like 1 am. He seemed to think that I was the only reason you'd have to say no." I stared at the keychain instead of Victor. "You have to go," he said quietly.

"I don't have to," I told him.

"Yes. You do." I looked up at him and he had an unreadable expression on his face. "This is your chance. You said you owed it to yourself to find out if this is what you want. Well, you get to find out. There are people that spend their whole lives waiting for the break that you just got. I'd be a pretty pathetic boyfriend if I held you back just because I don't want to miss you." His hand found mine. "I love you, Benji, and I want the perfect summer with you, just like we've been talking about since we got back from Las Vegas. But you have to go."

"Is this turning into an if-you-love-him-set-him-free situation?" I asked.

"No. Because I'm not setting you free. I will still be your boyfriend the entire time you're on tour. I'm not setting you free, but I'm telling you… you have to go."

"You could come with me," I said half-heartedly.

He chuckled but somehow still looked sad. "I really wish I could."

"Why can't you?" He squeezed my hands but didn't offer me an answer. He didn't need to; I knew he couldn't take off for six weeks. "It probably doesn't matter. My parents will never let me go."

"They'll let you go," he said confidently. "I'll talk to them with you if you want."

I leaned over and kissed him. "How'd you manage to get this anyway?" I held up the keychain with my band's name on it. "Do we have a merch shop I didn't know about?" We sold t-shirts at every show, but I didn't think we'd branched out from there.

Victor chuckled. "I actually had it made for you after we talked a few weeks ago," he admitted. "I knew you were going places, and I wanted to show you that… you should be going places and, even if those places take you away from me for six weeks, you need to go. I'm so proud of you."

I clutched the key chain in my hand. "Thank you," I breathed. To know that Victor had believed in me for so long filled me with a sensation I couldn't describe. It was peaceful and content and overjoyed and still a little terrified. He put his hand over mine and we stood like that until the timer went off reminding us that we were in the process of cooking dinner. Still, he didn't pull back his hand.

He squeezed. "I'm just not holding you back. You don't need to thank me for that."

Except, I really did. I needed to thank him for creating a safe space for the two of us to inhabit. I needed to thank him for helping to build a relationship where six weeks apart would suck but didn't feel like the end of us. I needed to thank him for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. I needed to thank him for seeing me at my worst and rebuilding me to my best with his trust and support. Mostly, I needed to thank him for loving me in an undeniable way that made me feel so much stronger than I thought possible.