"Hitomi Kanzaki." Van began to speak, projecting his voice so that the whole court could hear. "I officially welcome you as a guest of the King to the bountiful city of Fanelia. As you may have heard since your arrival, there has been unrest in the realm, and therefore the customary tour of the countryside will have to be postponed. In addition, as a guest of the King, you will be granted a personal guard both while you are in the palace, and in the city. Talo, Stephan, I am assigning you as Lady Hitomi's personal guard. See that she remains safe within the walls of Fanelia."

Talo and Stephen both stepped forward from the ranks of guards around the perimeter of the court as their names were called. "Your Majesty. We will guard her with our lives."

Van continued. "According to tradition, there will be a welcome feast for our guest tomorrow night. All guests and officials currently residing in the palace are expected to attend. This completes the court reception. Lady Hitomi will remain, but the rest of the court is dismissed. Guards, please wait outside the doors to the hall."

Hitomi felt her stomach clench. Van wanted to see her alone. Finally. Hitomi let herself hope. Van had been nothing but formal and serious during court, but maybe… maybe that was just because he had to be. Maybe now they could reunite properly. When she left Gaea, he had allowed her to go afterall. He was the one who activated the energist to send her home. She hadn't left him, he had let her go. Hitomi stared at the floor, the knot in her stomach continuing to grow. Maybe he had let her go for a reason… maybe he didn't want her back…

After the last guard left, Van stood. He unclasped the cape from around his shoulders and let it fall onto the throne. "Hitomi…"

Hitomi looked up. Their eyes locked. Hitomi found it hard to breath. She could almost feel Van. There was pain, and a little regret. And there was fear. She wasn't sure if it was her fear now.

"Hitomi… why did you do it?" Van's voice cracked as he spoke.

"What?"

"Why… you didn't need to come back…"

The agitation in Hitomi's stomach rose. "What… what do you mean? Of course I did."

"You were supposed to live happily, and grow old, safe… safe in your own world."

"Van, I could not live happily. It was not like you said… I couldn't stay there. That's not my home anymore. I didn't belong.. everyone knew it… Yukari… my mother…"

"You shouldn't have come back!" Van advanced on her now. He approached until he was right in front of her. "It's dangerous! Zaibach is making trouble again, people are disappearing… It's not safe for you to be back!"

Hitomi couldn't take it any more. The churning in her stomach became a knot in her throat. She couldn't hold the tears back from her eyes.

"Hitomi, why did you do it… if you hadn't… if you didn't try to… That's the only reason I pulled you here. Hitomi, how could you do something like that!"

"Because I couldn't bare to stay there either way! I was miserable, Van! I didn't care if I died, as long as I had some chance of getting back here, okay?" This was all wrong… she had wanted to come back so much, and now they were just yelling at each other. What could she do? "I was miserable! It wasn't like you said. we couldn't see each other any time. I couldn't feel you! At first… yes… it was as you said. But then it stopped! You weren't there! I was alone, and there was no one who could understand. There was no one who knew Gaea. Yukari believed me but… but she doesn't know, she couldn't really understand! I was alone, Van. I would have rather died than stay there!"

Van stepped back, shocked. "It was too painful…"

"What?"

"I thought… it was too painful. You hurt so much… I could feel it. Everyday. I hurt too… I hurt a lot… and it was adding to your pain. I thought…"

Hitomi was worried now… what was Van trying to say? She had thought it then, that some of what she was feeling was Van's pain.

"I thought… that if I started to let go… if I started to let you go live your life… that you could be happy. What kind of life can someone have always feeling someone else's pain? I thought you might be able to forget… a little."

He had pulled away. That was why she couldn't feel him anymore… He had left her alone intentionally. "But you promised me…" He had left her. He didn't want her to come back. Hitomi stepped back. "You promised me… we would still be close… how could you…?"

"How could you try to kill yourself?!"

That was enough. Hitomi turned around and ran from the hall.

"Hitomiiii!"

She pushed the heavy door open and rushed passed her two guards, headed for her room. The sky had darkened outside, though it was not yet late. She had tears streaming down her face. As it began to rain, she thought it was appropriate that Gaea should cry with her.

She burst into her room and threw herself on her bed. How could he? He left her alone? He pulled his feelings away. He had been her only connection back to Gaea… maybe if he hadn't left her alone, she would have been okay. Maybe if they had faded over years she would have been okay, but he had abandoned her, and he had done it intentionally. But… he did it for her. He did it to protect her from his own pain… Did he have that much pain? If he did, why was he so upset she was back?

Hitomi heard a noise at the window. Merle leaped onto the bed and licked Hitomi's hand.

"What's wrong? You got to see Van, right?"

"I don't know… he yelled… we yelled."

"He yelled at you? Ooooo...I'm gonna go give him a piece of…" As Merle was turning to go seek revenge, Hitomi grabbed her tail, preventing her from leaving.

"Merle, don't…. we both yelled… Things aren't good… He abandoned me."

"He what?"

"When I left, he promised that we would still be close, as long as our thoughts could reach each other… but… but he held back his thoughts, his feelings. He stopped. He left me alone. I knew there had to be some reason I couldn't feel him anymore… but I never thought… I never thought he did it intentionally."

"Ohhh."

The rain was coming down harder now. The rhythm it beat on the roof had a soothing effect on Hitomi.

"Merle… please go. I just want to sleep."

"Okay Hitomi, but I will be back first thing in the morning to pounce on you." Merle hopped from the bed, ran to the door, and left.

Hitomi buried her face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

Merle found Van pacing back and forth in his rooms. This was the first time she had managed to find time alone with him since a while before Hitomi arrived. He was no longer garbed as the king of Fanelia, but as just Van, the boy who had cared for her and protected her since she lost her family. Over the past year he had been gloomy most days, and downright morose others, but this was the first time in a long time that Merle had seen him so troubled.

As Merle moved into the room, she bumped the side table that was next to the door. Van struck his ready stance instantaneously.

"Who's there! Oh… It's you, Merle." Van relaxed somewhat and continued his pacing.

"Van…" Merle moved to the other side of Van and settled herself on the end of his bed.

Van paced a few more times, then on the last time when he reached the wall he pulled his arm back and punched the wall fiercely. "Aaaaaaarg!" He leaned his forehead against the wall, then pushed himself away from it and ran his hand through his hair in an exasperated manor. He turned back to the bed and plopped himself down beside Merle.

"Are you alright, my Lord?" Merle's tail twitched. She wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"No… No Merle, I'm not. I handled that all wrong." Van lay back on the bed, and put his arms behind it head for support. " How could she have done that though? I can't believe that pulling away was enough to drive her to that…"

"To what?"

"Did she tell you how she got here?"

"No."

"She jumped off a building. If I had been unable to call her back she would have… she couldn't have known I would be able to, which means she was ready to die. She was willing to throw away her life."

Merle studied her paws in her lap for a moment. "But… now she knows you left her alone on purpose. She told me a little while ago that you abandoned her."

"Yeah… Merle, how do I make her understand why I did it? I didn't want to hurt her, I wanted her to hurt less… It's been a year, and still every single day I could feel it in my bones that she was not here. I could not force those feelings on her. Now she's here, and it's only worse. I don't care how much she wanted to come back, how could she have risked her life to do it? How can I forgive that?"

"You should talk to her."

"I just tried that."

"You should apologize."

Van sighed heavily. "I will have to think more about what to say. I don't have to do this very often you know… there are so many scripts and things I'm expected to say with officials and royal guests everyday. It's like everything I have to say is laid out for me ahead of time. I don't know how to do this." Van sat up and heaved another heavy sigh.

"I don't know either, Lord Van, but I think you'll be able to figure it out. You have to."

Morning came too soon for Hitomi. She was awoken by a flying cat girl, as promised.

"Today is a new day Hitomi! You will see, everything will be just fine." Merle pranced around the bed.

Hitomi sat up and rubbed her fists in her eyes to try and get out the sleep she couldn't shake. She yawned deeply, then lay back down and rolled over.

"Oh no you don't. Today is a big day. The welcome feast is tonight. You need to clean yourself and wear something pretty. I already ordered a bath for you, it should be ready soon. Up, up, up!"

Hitomi had never known Merle to be enthusiastic about a bath. She supposed it was different if it wasn't her own. Hitomi sat up again, and yawned. She began to remember the events from the night before and her chest tightened. She clutched the sheets to her breast. Van had meant to abandon her.

"Today is a new day Hitomi, no moping. You'll see, everything will turn out just fine." Merle ripped the sheets out of Hitomi's grasp and sent them flying across the room.

"Hey!" Hitomi scrambled after her pilfered sheets. Once she was standing, Merle tossed a wad of cloth at her.

"Put this on to go to the washroom. I think they already have clothes for you there for when you are done. I will see you at the feast!" With that, Merle rushed out the door.

Hitomi unfurled the bundle of fabric to reveal that it was a long robe. The fabric was soft, and the pattern was delicate. She shouldered it on and fastened the belt around her waist. This feast was going to be strange. She would have to present a polite face to Van in front of everyone. After last night, that was going to be difficult. she felt bad for running out, but she just couldn't have taken any more of it. she had waited so long, and and almost given up so much just to see him again, only to find out that he had left her on purpose. She felt sour inside. It hurt the most to know that above all, he hadn't kept his promise. It was the only promise that ever mattered.

Hitomi couldn't hold back the tears, and they streamed openly down her face. How was she supposed to go on? How was she going to fix this? She couldn't go home, Gaea was her home now… but was it still her home without Van? She pulled her door open and stepped out into the hall. Her two guards were posted on either side of the door. They followed her as she walked down the hall to the washroom, stopping outside to guard the entrance.

Inside, there were three women in handmaidens dress around a tub of steaming water. There were various glass bottles on tables around the bath.

"Come in Lady Kanzaki. The bath is ready, please remove your robe." The handmaiden who spoke was an older woman with grey hair and many years worth of lines etched into her face. The lines told a story of hard work, but with happiness. One of the other handmaidens, who appeared to be a number of years younger, approached Hitomi.

Hitomi unbuckled the belt and shyly removed the robe from her shoulders.

"Don't worry, it's only we women here. The guards know to stay outside. No one will bother you." The younger maiden received the robe from Hitomi and placed it on a rack near the bath. She took Hitomi by the hand and helped her up the wooden steps and into the steaming bath. Hitomi was thankful that no one commented on the tears on her face or the red of her eyes.

The water felt nice. It was just almost too hot, but cool enough that she was able to settle in without too much trouble. She dipped her head back in the water to wet her hair, and when she lifted her head back up she felt hands begin to massage her scalp. The older woman was washing her hair.

The youngest of the women, who had not yet spoken, sat down on a bench on the side of the tub. "Please give me your left hand my lady." Hitomi raised her hand from the water and placed in in the palm of the young woman's outstretched hand. She began to clean her nails and trim them with small scissors.

"This is like the spa back home." Hitomi had been to the spa a few times, but it wasn't something she and her friends could often afford.

"I'm not sure what a 'spa' is, but in Gaea this is how ladies are prepared for special occasions." The young woman continued to clip and buff Hitomi's nails until they were shiny and even. The other young woman pulled a bench to the other side and began work on Hitomi's right hand. The older woman motioned for her to dip her head back in the water and began rinsing the sweet smelling soap out. Hitomi almost felt like the troubles of the previous evening were being washed out with the soap. She could feel herself beginning to drift into sleep when the older woman told her to climb out of the bath. One of the younger women handed her a towel and she wrapped it around herself. The other younger woman picked up one of the many bottles from the tables and tipped a small amount into her hand. She began to rub it into Hitomi's shoulders. It smelled like lilacs.

The dress they presented to Hitomi was beautiful. It was a medium shade of rose with a string of beads that served to hold the dress up around her neck. The sleeves draped over her arms and flowed like water. "Thank you…"

"Don't thank us, this was sent here for you from His Highness the King."

Hitomi admired herself in the mirror, then slipped her feet into the soft black slippers that had been provided for her. Van sent the dress. Was this an apology? Or did he just want her to be presentable in front of the nobles that would be attending? "How long until the feast?"

The older woman placed a garland strung with beads and flowers on to Hitomi's head. " It won't be long now. The introduction portion will be starting soon. The feast itself will be served a little while later. The guard that waits outside the doors will guide you to the hall in which the feast will be held when we are done here."

Hitomi was presented with bracelets to choose from, and was fitted with a beaded belt around her waist that met in the middle in front and hung straight down almost to her feet. She had never worn such elegant clothing, not even in Asturia.

"You look like a princess my lady."

Hitomi looked in the mirror and admired the ladies' work. She hoped Van would be happy with the way the dress looked on her. Thinking of Van returned her mind to the previous night. She wondered what would happen tonight. This time, she wouldn't yell, even if he did. She didn't want to fight. She wanted everything to be like it was before she left. She wouldn't yell this time, and she wouldn't run, no matter how much his words hurt her.

Hitomi went to the door. The guards were waiting on the other side with their backs to the door. Hitomi stepped out in front of them. "I'm ready."

"You look absolutely lovely my lady." The guard that had been identified as Talo bowed his head to her. "If you will follow me, we will lead you to the hall of the feast." He started out down the corridor, with Hitomi close behind. Stephen stayed several paces behind Hitomi. She assumed this was so that he could keep a watchful eye on their procession. Talo lead them deep into the palace until he stopped in front of a very large set of double doors. There was a man in a wide floppy hat and fancy jacket standing in front of the doors. Talo introduced Hitomi. "We present the Lady Hitomi Kanzaki."

"Alright, this way." The man opened the door inwards. Despite it's size it didn't seem take a lot of effort to move, and it slid open without making a sound. He stopped just inside the door. Hitomi could see past him into the room where many people were already milling about in long dresses and formal suits. The door man began to project his voice above the murmur of the crowd. "Presenting the Lady Hitomi Kanzaki, Ambassador from the Mystic Moon."

Hitomi was startled by the title. She had not expected to have a title, let alone have to act as ambassador for a world shrouded in myth. There were surprised sounds from the gallery as well. Hitomi had a feeling she would have a lot more questions to answer at this feast than she currently wanted.

The door man stepped to the side and Hitomi entered the hall timidly. She didn't see anyone she knew. She hadn't met many people from outside Fanelia on her last journey through Gaea, and of the ones she had, only some remained after the war. She wouldn't know any of the other ambassadors, and she didn't know any of Fanelia's officials. Well, Hitomi supposed that was what feasts like these were for.

Merle noticed Hitomi from the other side of the hall and came bounding through the crowd. She was wearing a longer dress than usual, with flowers in her hair, and a beaded necklace. "Merle, I don't think I've ever seen you so dressed up."

"I love dressing up for Lord Van's parties. Everyone looks so pretty, and there are flowers everywhere! These are my favorite parties!" Merle twirled in place to show Hitomi her whole outfit. "You look very beautiful tonight Hitomi. Van will be impressed."

Hitomi blushed at the thought of Van being impressed with her beauty. After all they had been through, she didn't think her beauty would be that important. She rarely thought of herself as beautiful anyway.

"Come on Hitomi, there are snacks!" Merle lead Hitomi through the crowd to the hors d'oeuvres. As she passed, people watched her. She could tell just by looking that a few of the conversations were about her. Hitomi was not fond of being made the center of attention. Men in black dress uniforms were milling through the crowds with trays of glasses. Hitomi took one when offered. The beverage inside was sweet and tangy and felt warm as it ran down her throat.

Over the next half hour, Hitomi was introduced to and asked questions by several officials and ambassadors. How did she get here? What was the Mystic Moon like? Would there be more people coming from the Mystic Moon? Hitomi didn't really know how to answer most of the questions so she smiled and nodded when necessary and asked them questions about their kingdoms instead. There were ambassadors from Freid, and Basram, as well as a very oddly dressed man from Ezgardia. Hitomi was beginning to feel a little dizzy from the drink she had consumed, when trumpets sounded from the back of the hall.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, honored guests, we shall now commence the feast portion of this evenings festivities. If you will turn your attention to the left, you will see doors open onto the dining hall. Please find your seats." The door man from before bowed as large doors Hitomi had not noticed swung inward, revealing another large hall with a glass ceiling. She followed the crowds as they filed into the new room. There were name cards at all of the seats. Hitomi walked around for a little while unable to find one with her name. She began to worry that she had been forgotten when one of the uniformed men with trays offered to lead her to her seat.

Hitomi was seated at the main table in front of the hall, in clear view of everyone. "My lady, as honored guest, you were reserved a seat at the kings table." The man bowed to her and left. Hitomi sat looking out at the sea of people, acutely aware of how visible she was. No wonder Van had sent her a beautiful dress. She was seated for the meal in between two of the highest level officials from the palace. These were Van's royal advisors. These were the men that Van spent so much time meeting with about what was going on in greater Gaea. Hitomi hadn't thought about her vision since meeting with Van. Now the images of fire and destruction came back vividly to her all at once. Perhaps these men were the ones she should tell.

Neither official spoke to her throughout the entire meal. In fact, they barely even looked at her at all. They didn't seem the slightest bit interested in the news or opinions of the "Ambassador from the Mystic Moon." Perhaps they didn't even believe that she was from the Mystic Moon. Van was seated several spaces away much closer to the center of the table. It was only natural that the King should be placed at the center. When he had entered, he hadn't even glanced in her direction. Merle was seated near the other end of the table, so Hitomi wasn't able to converse with her at all. Once again, Hitomi found herself feeling alone.

Each course of the meal was paired with some form of alcoholic beverage. By halfway through the meal Hitomi was feeling rather dizzy and giddy. She was formulating what she would say the next time she and Van spoke, when trumpets sounded again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, honored guests, we shall now commence the entertainment portion of this evening's festivities. If you would please vacate your tables, we shall move them to the side and begin the music and dance." There was immediate commotion in the hall. Everyone was getting up and moving to the sides at once, and all of the tables were wheeled through the doors to the adjacent room. All of a sudden the room was empty of all tables and a group of musicians carrying instruments Hitomi didn't quite recognize entered the room. The crowd moved back to the floor and began to dance to the music that was now emanating from the musician's corner of the room.

Hitomi's skin was warm from the alcohol and the music was soothing. She smiled in spite of all the events since she had arrived. A gentleman wearing the colors of Asturia approached her then.

"Lady of the Mystic Moon, may I have the pleasure of your company on the dance floor?" His hand was offered and his head was bowed.

"I don't know the dance."

"That is perfectly alright. I will lead."

Hitomi tentatively put her hand in his and stood. The room swam for a moment, but she quickly regained her balance, and allowed herself to be lead to the dance floor. The gentleman was not unattractive, but he seemed older. He was a lovely dancer however, and Hitomi never had to worry about a single step. She admired how her dress flowed as she was twirled around the dance floor. The smell of flowers floated through the room.

Van had been careful throughout the meal to only taste small portions of the drinks that accompanied his food. He had ordered that his drinks be milder than the what was normally served, however, it could never hurt to be more clear headed. He wasn't partial to drinking most of the time anyway, and only did at all at functions such as these where it was expected. He watched the servants clear the floor, and the guests move to begin their dance. He never danced himself, but he enjoyed watching the spectacle of color that the hall filled with dancers produced. He rarely drank, he never danced, Merle would call him a boring King. Van enjoyed evenings such as these, but the troubles of Gaea were never far from his mind, and over the last day the troubles of his heart had eclipsed even that. His brow furrowed as he troubled himself again with what he could say next time. What could he say that would make it better? How could he make her understand?

Van saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned just in time to see Hitomi taking the hand of a man from Asturia. He hadn't seen her yet this evening. She turned to follow the Asturian and Van saw her clearly for the first time. His heart skipped a beat. There were beads in her hair, and her evening dress draped over her small frame revealing just enough shape to entice the imagination. He could tell, even from this distance, that her cheeks were slightly flushed. He watched as she followed the Asturian out onto the dance floor. Of course he was Asturian… Van felt a small resentment rise within him. If only he danced… All at once, he found what he would say.