Shepard sat in the briefing room of the Rayya, clenching his armored hands on the edge of the table tensely, glaring daggers into the top of the metal, utilitarian table. His mind was racing at ten thousand miles a minute, analyzing everything he had just learned about the situation at hand from the admiralty board who, after the threat had ended and the imitation Normandy was mobility-killed, had called an emergency meeting (a wartime meeting with emergency powers superseding the conclave) to discuss the recent conflict (and at least partially give thanks to Shepard and his crew for their assistance). The meeting had been some mixture of terse, thankful, and chaotic, and Shepard was greatly troubled. As a shaken Tali shakily walked up behind him and put a shivering hand on his shoulder, Shepard went over the meeting and its prelude in his mind:
After destroying a few of the cruisers in the line of ships, not expecting the remainder of the fleet to flee the battlefield, Shepard sat at the edge of the hangar bay waiting for Joker to show up with the Nelson, flanked by a Tali with her head in her hands and a respectfully silent Garrus. His helmet hung from his fingers between his legs as he stared down at the floor of the bay and seethed in anger. He had thought that the enemy fleet was designed to draw him out to get rid of him, or maybe even to capture him with overwhelming force, but it seemed that he had misjudged them and boarding one of the cruisers was either part of their plan, which was unlikely, or they had multiple contingencies, which was much more likely. In truth, it seemed like he was playing right into their hands even though they technically won the battle, and that made him feel useless. He hated feeling useless.
The shuttle was completely wrecked. They had landed it properly, but its flight systems were shot, and its thrusters were nothing but scrap metal. It seemed like someone had come up behind them and disabled it, or else it was disabled somewhere during the landing fight and he never noticed. He thought the second was probably more likely, since they had been thorough in clearing the hangar, bulkheads, and hallways. He glared at the misshapen metal thing, and then he saw the dead marine in front of it and looked away to his side, ashamed. If the dreadnought had never left, that marine would have died for a reason. As it stood, all he had done was trade his life, and the lives of the other casualties, for a few cruisers. Sure, a handful of marines for several thousand dead mercenaries sounded like a good trade, but to him... To him it was a humiliating defeat every time he lost someone. He was interrupted from his momentary stress-induced self-loathing by Tali finally deciding she couldn't take coming off of her adrenaline rush anymore and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to sniffle mournfully into his side. Without the rush of battle, the weight of the situation they had seen had finally slammed down on top of her mind.
She was right. He had gotten a handful of marines killed today, and their names would always be on his mind, but at least those men knew what they were getting into. At least they died knowing that their species would live on without them, still growing, still thriving. Tali... she still didn't know how many of her people had died, how many men, women, and children would never see their homeworld. For her people, every single loss was a terrible tragedy. He shouldn't have been selfishly wallowing in the loss of his own men- she needed support. Making up his mind, he shoved his own thoughts about his service record to the back of his mind and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close.
The Nelson docked easily at the Rayya and they were greeted at the airlock bulkhead by a contingent of armed Quarian marines standing guard and a small group of engineers attempting to make repairs to a docking area with a few small fires around the place. The Rayya had been struck by a smaller ordnance round which had entered the docking area and set off a supply cache, but thankfully there were protocols in place that prevented a large explosion. Several other Quarian ships had not been so lucky, but they had sacrificed themselves guarding the liveships with their own hulls.
One of the Quarians stepped forward and snapped off a quick salute, then extended his hand towards Shepard for a shake, which Shepard returned. The armed Quarians relaxed and stepped to the side, letting the greeter Quarian gesture for the group to follow and then lead them towards the interior of the ship.
"Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya, commanding officer of the Liveship Rayya. We had a hell of a time getting you clearance to land, Captain Shepard, but Tali'Zorah was insistent," the identified Quarian spoke as they passed another group of engineers, this time hastily applying a new panel of siding to the interior of the hallway. The floor was ruined and littered with metal shavings and debris, Shepard noticed, but didn't comment.
"Lieutenant Commander Shepard. Thank you for acknowledging my captainhood. I hear that's a sign of respect," Shepard replied, glancing at Tali on his right unconsciously. She was wringing her hands and looking left and right, both terrified and in shock at the state of the ship she grew up on. As he put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed to let her know he was there, the other captain continued.
"Well you've damned well earned it. If you'd have destroyed those cruisers any later we'd have... we'd have lost one of the liveships, probably the Rayya," he informed them, not noticing Tali stiffen beside Shepard as he walked and talked, "and it's thanks to that salvo you fired that the enemy ships headed off. I'm not sure what their angle was, attacking and then running off like that without any care for spacing or even making sure they were in a safe formation, but since we were too far away to fire back, they sure caused a hell of a lot of damage. I'm sure you saw the docking bay was in poor shape, but what you can't see from here is that we were struck no less than seventeen times by medium-sized ship-to-ship cannons. Thanks to our smaller ships, may the ancestors guide them, we never got hit by the larger cannons, but we're going to be stuck in this system for at least a month doing repairs."
"I don't mean to sound conceited, Captain, but I think I can give you an answer for why they were after the Quarian fleet. The ships who engaged you were part of Cerberus, a human supremacist organization who view nonhumans as inferior. In the past they've done some questionable things, but I never thought I'd see them do something like this, until today," Shepard explained with a bit of vocal strain. Kar'Danna gave him a bit of a side-eye when it was mentioned that the enemies were not only human, but organized and funded human supremacists, but seemed to quickly overcome that momentary hang-up in favor of anger.
"But why? Why us? Why attack the Quarian fleet? We've never done anything to humanity! We've never done anything to anyone! We can't! They won't let us even get close enough!" the Captain shouted, his hands shooting up in an aggressive shrug, as if angrily demanding answers from an uncaring god.
"That's why I didn't want to sound conceited, Captain Kar'Danna. We think that they orchestrated this entire thing for three reasons. The first reason is pretty obvious: Cerberus hates anyone who isn't a human and the Quarians provided them an easy target to send a top of the line fleet after. The second, we think, is because their fleet was brand new and they wanted to test its capabilities against the largest fleet in the galaxy. Judging by today, I think we're going to see them become more aggressive in the future because from their point of view it was a resounding success. The third reason... Well," Shepard explained, and then stopped. He didn't know how to phrase it so it wouldn't sound like it was somehow his fault the Quarian people were being attacked. Thankfully, Kar'Danna interrupted before he could continue.
"They were trying to lure someone here. They were trying to lure YOU here. You got here so quickly and recklessly, they had to have known you were nearby. They were probing you- testing how far they could go and what they could do with you in the picture," Kar'Danna theorized. They stepped through a doorway that led into an auditorium-like room that looked rather like a metallic courthouse, but there was no crowd as everyone below the rank of Admiral was working hard to repair the ship.
"Not exactly, but that's close to the conclusion I've reached. Either they needed me here to kill me, or they wanted to get me here and capture me for some reason. The soldiers we met, some of them said that they knew that I was probably going to show up and had been briefed about it. Apparently they knew that they might die. They were probably getting paid double or triple for this mission. That means that I was the target. I thought on it some more after the combat rush wore off and realized that if they had wanted me dead, the dreadnought would have decimated the cruiser I had boarded, but instead they ran away. That means that whatever they wanted me for..."
"Is still here," Kar'Danna concluded. He furrowed his brows behind his mask as they came upon their destination, and then shook Shepard's hand again, "Well I don't know exactly what we have that Cerberus can use to get at you on the Migrant Fleet, but here's hoping that you don't find it. Sincerely, thank you for saving my ship, Shepard. I don't know what the Quarian people would do without the few allies we have, and you've proven today that you're one of them. Keelah Se'lai."
"Keelah Se'lai," Shepard and Tali responded in unison. Garrus coughed into his talon and thumbed at his helmet's respirator. He didn't feel appropriate intruding upon the moment between Shepard, Tali, and one of Tali's people, so he slid off into the room and waited a few seconds for Shepard and Tali to catch up.
The Admiralty Board sat around a briefing table and bickered with one another, save one, as Shepard and Tali separated from Kar'Danna and made their way in. Daro'Xen appeared content to tinker on top of the table with some gadget or another as if she had no care in the world for the undue hardship that her people were experiencing at the moment, which immediately set Shepard on edge, but the remaining admirals pointed their long fingers at one another and shouted.
"We should be looking for a safe place to offload our civilians so we can rearm the civilian fleet and retaliate, not sitting around and playing political games!" Admiral Han'Gerrel shouted over the din of other voices trying to make themselves heard.
"A safe place to offload!? And where do you propose!? The Council has expressly forbidden us from colonizing planets and I don't see any reason they would change their mind now!" Zaal'Koris yelled back in outrage, slamming his hand down on the table and standing to his feet.
"Damn the Council! What they don't know won't hurt them! We chase that dreadnought down and tear it to pieces, take its commanding officer alive or dead, then pick the civilians up and the Council will be none the wiser! We need answers, dammit!" Rael'Zorah responded, standing up slightly taller than Zaal'Koris and forcing him to take a less aggressive posture.
"We don't have the technology to retaliate against them," Daro'Xen cut in bluntly, still toying around with whatever it was that was on the table in front of her, "and we don't have the speed to catch up with them either, civilian fleet or not. They have the most fascinating firing systems I've ever seen- twice the range of one of our large cannons! Think of what I can do with this."
"Is your only concern for your experiments, Daro'Xen? Do you not care for the suffering of your people at all!?" Rael'Zorah turned on Daro'Xen in an instant, and both Zaal'Koris and Han'Garrel joined him in glaring at her, which she didn't seem to notice or care.
"Of course, of course, but maybe we can benefit from their sacrifice and improve the fleet at the same time. Think of the possibilities if we just armed the entire fleet with this type of thing..." she offhandedly replied. The three male admirals bristled and were about to mount a united (but from opposite sides) front against Daro'Xen when Shala'Raan spoke up.
"Gentlemen, Daro'Xen, please. We aren't going to help our people by arguing amongst ourselves. Surely you must all recognize the great danger in arguing so much that we fail to even act? Daro'Xen, please, implement your upgrades, but do so with the thought of our lost and dearly departed in mind. Gentlemen, perhaps instead of bickering about a fight we cannot pursue, we should decide how best to proceed correcting the damage and preparing for any future attacks?" she chastised. Daro'Xen huffed in annoyance but didn't argue, while the three men visibly calmed, chastened.
"Shala'Raan is correct. Perhaps we are too hasty in making the argument about retaliation when we should instead be considering preparation. In order to do that, though, we need information! I heard comms use the name Cerberus, but who are they? Why attack now?"
Shepard stepped forward into the room, his imposing figure alerting the admirals who looked up and watched him step up to the table. Behind him, Tali looked at her aunt and her father, who both turned away from Shepard and looked at his crew, before their eyes landed on Tali and widened fractionally.
"I think I have some answers for you, Admirals, but I don't think you're going to like them very much."
"Outrageous! An entire fleet of new warships, thousands of Quarian lives extinguished, and you tell me it is all to lure out one human man!" Zaal'Koris raged. The other two male admirals crossed their arms in agreement and stared Shepard down for a moment.
"Sirs, we have reason to believe that Cerberus wants me alive for some reason that we're not aware of, and this battle was the most expedient way to get me close enough," Shepard replied calmly, his hands planted palm-down on the table and allowing him to lean.
"I apologize for sounding incredulous, Captain Shepard, but surely you must see the unbelievability of the situation. An entire fleet of cruisers and a possible war with the largest fleet in the galaxy just to lure one man out into the open? There must be a better reason," Shala'Raan rationalized, and Shepard would have agreed if it weren't for one thing.
"Ma'am, I can see why you're skeptical, but my pilot encountered a ship in the enemy fleet that looks exactly like the ship that I lost over Alchera, including the exact name and serial number. Instead of nuking the ship I boarded, the dreadnought took off when it became clear that the cruisers were mostly lost. They informed their men that I would appear and briefed them on how likely they were to die. Cerberus seems obsessed with me and I have no idea why, but this attack was almost definitely an attempt to lure me into some type of trap," Shepard reasoned with the Admiralty Board. Han'Garrel appeared ready to latch onto any excuse.
"So their reasons are even more petty than we realized! They don't just hate us. Instead they're using us as a tool to get to you!" he snarled.
"I'm afraid so, Admiral. The captain of the liveship, Captain Kar'Danna, reasoned with me and I think we came to the same conclusion. Since the dreadnought ran off, whatever they needed me here for is still in this system, and I think it's the ship clone that my pilot mobility-killed," Shepard replied, giving his account more credibility by using the captain's name.
"Then go to this ship and handle it! If they are alive then you have to deal with them! You got us into this mess!" Rael'Zorah shot off, pointing at Shepard.
"Father! That's not fair at all! Shepard had nothing to do with the attack! He just saved the fleet!" Tali spoke out in defense of her boyfriend. Han looked decently abashed, but Rael shushed her with a pointed look and was about to continue, but Garrus also interrupted.
"I've known Shepard for probably the longest here. He's not one to, you know, kill off thousands of people to get political capital," Garrus said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and the Board was full of idiots for even considering it, "Trust me. The moment we got the message that the Fleet was in danger, Shepard forced Tali to tell him where you were so he could come help. There's no one less likely than him to have a hand in this."
"No one believes that he did," she said, giving Rael a death glare that dared him to disagree, "but as of right now we cannot spare the manpower or the ships to investigate this mobility-killed ship, and since it was your captain's kill, he should handle it by right."
"Her captain!? Her name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, not Tali'Zorah vas Nelson! Kar'Danna is her captain, and she hasn't even completed her pilgrimage yet! This human isn't even a captain by rank!" Rael'Zorah turned his attention to Shala'Raan in outrage. It seemed he really was not a fan of Shepard at the moment. Zaal and Shala were taken aback by this degree of disrespect shown to someone who had just assisted the fleet greatly, and Han looked uncomfortable, but it looked like Rael was being protective of his daughter more than anything else.
"Argh! Here!" Tali all but stared holes into her father's visor as she pulled up her omnitool and showed off a flash of the data she received during her pilgrimage, "This is classified Alliance data that Captain Shepard allowed me to keep after finding it on a mission I personally participated in! I was going to gift this to Admiral Han'Gerrel, but since Father is so insistent..."
She slapped a few buttons and the data flashed up on Shepard's omnitool instead. He turned to look at her in confusion but found that she had already marched out of the briefing room, overwhelmed by her rage at Cerberus being compounded by anger at her father and sadness over the attack on her people. He turned back to the admirals in worry at what had just happened. Rael was fuming, Han seemed put out that he had just lost a crewmember, and the others (sans Daro'Xen) were still looking uncomfortable.
"I have no idea what just happened," Shepard admitted, "and I'm worried about her. But her placement isn't important right now-"
"On the contrary, Captain Shepard, it is extremely important. I believe Tali has just stated her intention by gifting you that data, that she intends to join your crew whether her father approves or not," Shala'Raan interrupted, again daring Rael to speak up, "Normally we would consider this an unprecedented disrespect, but considering your great contribution to our continued survival and our gratitude for your intervention, I would not be against putting this to a vote. Tali'Zorah has done a greater amount for the Quarian people by bringing you to us than most ever do, and you are greatly responsible for that. I vote yes."
"No!" Rael and Han both said simultaneously, for different reasons.
"I have no reason to believe that this man was not directly at fault for this assault on our people, Shala'Raan! This is unacceptable!" Rael continued.
"Well personally I think Tali is better off on the Nelson, all things considered. I vote yes," Zaal voted, distinctly looking right at Admiral Rael'Zorah.
All four of the admirals looked down at Daro'Xen, who hadn't said a word in the longest time. She noticed the silence after about a half a minute and put down the tinker-toy in her hands, looking around and wondering why the idiots had stopped shouting.
"Daro'Xen, your vote on the matter of Tali being officially recognized as part of Captain Shepard's crew?" Shala prodded.
"Hmm? Oh, yes. Maybe she'll be able to get information on new Alliance ships for us or something," Daro brushed off the vote like it was inconsequential. Han and Rael deflated, and Rael gave Shepard an evil eye, but neither spoke up. It was clear that they had been overruled.
"Captain Shepard, the Admiralty Board has, during a wartime council, authorized the transfer of Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, now Tali'Zorah vas Nelson, to your command. Keelah Se'lai," Shala addressed Shepard. Shepard, entirely confused still by how this had all resulted from him trying to inform the Admiralty Board about Cerberus's motivations to draw him out into the open for some nefarious plot, blinked and stood still for a moment, then remembered his manners.
"Th- thank you, Admiral Shala'Raan. I'll make sure to keep her safe," he finally responded. He got the distinct feeling that Shala'Raan smiled at him from behind her visor.
"Madness! Utter madness! I won't hear of it anymore!" Rael'Zorah stood and left the room, prompting apologetic looks from the rest of the admirals (again, bar Daro'Xen). He got the distinct feeling that he would never have a good relationship with Tali's father.
"Well, I think that our conversation will actually proceed more smoothly now that he's gone. Continue, Captain Shepard," Zaal requested. Shepard took a moment to catch his breath and then started again.
"I will actually investigate the ship that is dead in space. If possible, I'm going to get answers from the commanding officer. I'll relay anything that I find back to the Migrant Fleet. In the meantime, I think that my crew should be able to assist with repairs wherever they're able, except for my ground-team. When I get back to the Nelson, I'll have them come aboard if it's fine with the Admiralty Board."
"That would be a gracious help from you, Captain Shepard. With the loss of so many Quarian lives, we are going to need all of the help we can get," Han'Garrel surprisingly spoke up in thanks.
"It's no problem Admiral. Additionally, I think this..." Shepard reached up and toyed with his omnitool for a moment, "... is yours. She might be on my crew, but if there's ever a time when she needs to return to the Fleet, I'd feel safer if she had a ship to return to," he said diplomatically. Han'Gerrel's omnitool flared and the Geth data appeared in his own file directory. Han'Gerrel nodded gratefully.
"If she returns to the fleet, she will be welcomed on the Neema. Ancestors know, we need all the help we can get," Han solemnly stared down at the table as he spoke.
"I'm sorry to bring up painful thoughts, Admirals, but that reminds me. I'll need to inform Tali once she returns, but... How many?"
The admirals all looked down at the table. Even Daro'Xen took a moment to stop playing with her new toy and look off to the side in well hidden emotion. Han'Garrel took a moment to gather his courage and clenched his fists, then took a shaky breath and looked up at Shepard, his omnitool lighting up as he pressed a pad and Shepard's beeped. Han let out that breath and deflated.
"Over three hundred fifty thousand. The message we sent out was after the first volley and only a few ships had been destroyed, but they caught up to us just before you arrived and delivered full payloads into the Fleet without giving us much of a chance to escape. We... We lost several dozen ships. Our population has been reduced by over two percent in a single day."
The room was silent after that. No one had anything to say. Everyone, including Daro'Xen and Shepard, was knocked speechless by the shear waste of life that occurred on an already dying species. Shepard's grip on the table actually audibly caused the metal to groan, and he had to clamp down on his biotics lest he accidentally cause damage to the already ailing ship's briefing table.
Slowly, one after one, the Admirals all filed out to leave the room, until only Garrus and Shepard were still there. The Turian was visibly nervous and didn't have anything to say, so he bounced on his lower talons and looked around like something was about to happen.
And then Tali walked in and placed her hand on the back of Shepard's armor shakily, visibly shivering as she was overburdened by the attack, the boarding of the cruiser, the trip to the fleet, and the board meeting.
Shepard, still clenching his hands on the table, closed his eyes in forlorn resignation and then turned his head up sadly to look Tali in the visor. He took in a breath, let it go, then tried again, and let that one go too. He reached up and grabbed the hand on his shoulder, covering it with his cold, armored glove. Tali looked like she was about to pass out from the added up stress of the day. Standing up to her father and then storming out of the room had shredded the last bit of her composure down to a thread. She had silently sniffled into his shoulder on the cruiser, but she hadn't truly let go yet. That was just her coming down off of her adrenaline high. It was clear that she was on a tight rope and if he didn't tell her, she'd only get worse until she found out. But if he did tell her, she'd burst right now, and he wasn't sure which was worse.
Finally, he screwed up his courage, and opened his mouth to speak.
Her cries could be heard through the soundproof doors.
As he sat in the briefing room chair, lightly rocking both himself and Tali back and forth and trying not to let himself cry with her as she sobbed in his lap, whispering reassurances and promises in her ear, Shepard swore revenge on Cerberus, Reapers be damned.