Published September 16 2021

Most of the time, Project Bartowski benefited from people not looking too closely at the team's covers. (Jeff's CO poisoning helped, too, because it didn't take him long to notice. He almost figured it out with CO poisoning.) Everything seemed ordinary compared to things at the Buy More, like video wall battles, Mystery Crisper challenges, fight clubs, and Mammary Cam. In this story, Morgan thought things were a little strange, but not that far off. Chuck was doing the work of someone in charge while not getting compensated. It's the Buy More. What do you expect? Of course, the best guy he knows was dating someone who looks like Vicky Vale. Who else would deserve her? Morgan just hoped she didn't get the wrong idea, because he'd never betray his friend. (We all know that should be qualified with "intentionally," after revealing Jill to Emmett and helping Casey in "Chuck vs the Honeymooners.")

Morgan's trying to avoid work, but thank goodness davida6 is not. Thank to him for once again serving as beta.

That means everything is "normal", because it's "normal" for Buy Moria. So far…

Burbank Buy More - Home Theater Room
The next night
February 27, 2008

Morgan was in big trouble. He was stuck. Literally. Last night's plan of going to the restroom at 8:45 didn't work. Three grape sodas after dinner meant he really needed to go at 8. When 8:30 came around, he knew he needed a new work-avoidance plan because if he went back to the restroom so soon, people might talk. His new plan was to slide underneath the couch in the home theater room. He could stay there a half hour and then slide out, right before the store closed.

He thought it was particularly good because it wasn't possible a couple months ago. Back then, there was no room under the couch. Then a few weeks ago, someone realized the cushion springs were shot. Who knows why? It might have been a Guitar Hero match with the contestants battling it out while standing on the coach. Or it might have been due to the third time they had to reupholster. It was annoying at first because he and Anna didn't have a place to get busy for a week. However, Anna said how much she liked the bouncing springs, and now there was more room underneath.

Big problem: There wasn't as much room as he thought. It was now after 9 and he couldn't get out.

Morgan was small, but not small enough. No one was small enough. He always thought of himself as little, but he wasn't that little. It was a wonder he got under there to begin with. Now, he was completely stuck. He couldn't move quickly without risking shaving part of his face. That would be painful. Also, he found gum stuck underneath when he put his hand at the edge. This was a completely bad idea. He was going to have to yell for help.

If he had an unlimited amount of time, he could probably work himself out by moving very slowly. The problem with that idea was once again, he needed a ride home. If he went slowly, everyone would be gone, and he'd end up having to sleep in the store.

Anna worked the opening shift and wasn't there. He could call his girlfriend for a ride after he got out. The problem with that plan was he wasn't sure she would come. She was mad at him about something, again. He didn't even know what. He had to figure it out before he could risk asking her for help. If he called before knowing what he needed to apologize for, there was a good chance she'd leave him at the Buy More as punishment.

Everyone would be gone soon. Morgan heard the door to the home theater room open. He was glad he wouldn't have to yell at the top of his lungs. But who was it?

"Graham and Beckman are supposed to call in three minutes." It's Sarah! It's Sarah? What was she doing in the Buy More? Most people wanted to leave the store when it closed, not come inside. Morgan was paid to be there, and even he wanted to leave. The couch on top of him was preventing that, but that didn't mean he wanted to be there any longer than he had to be.

"You know. People are going to think it's strange that we came in here to make out when we could just go home." And it's Chuck! He'd save Morgan, like he always did.

Sarah said, "We have a call in three minutes. Ellie and Awesome are your place, so we wouldn't have privacy. My place is closer, but this room is closer than both."

Oh, no. Chuck and Sarah were going to go at it on the couch. Not only did they not have privacy, but they were going to squish him underneath. Call in three minutes? Who were these people that were supposed to call? The home theater room didn't have a phone. How were Chuck and Sarah supposed to get busy, finish, and get back out to the Nerd Herd desk in three minutes?

Morgan was about to reveal his presence and cry out for help, when the other door to the home theater room door opened.

Morgan heard both Chuck and Sarah say, "Casey."

"The story is empty," Casey responded.

Morgan thought this was weird. Chuck and Sarah were about to make out in the home theater room, but they both expected a phone call and Casey. That man was interrupting their private time, like he always did. Cree-py.

Chuck said, "I still don't understand why we are doing this here."

"You just want Sarah over at your place," Casey said.

"We could use your apartment," Chuck argued.

"I get it," Casey said back, in that way he spoke that made you think he thought of everyone as a bug to be squashed. "If Ellie saw Sarah in the apartment courtyard this late, she'd be invited to stay. You probably want that."

"That's not what I meant—"

Sarah cut in, "Boys! We're meeting here because Chuck's locking up tonight, which means it'd be late before we could all get together somewhere else. It's already after midnight in DC. This way we can get the mission go-ahead sooner."

Mission? The call was from DC, where Sarah used to live. What did this all mean?

Casey grumbled, "You know the only reason we're going to get a mission is because Chuck flashed."

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to not flash?" Chuck protested. "I thought that's my job."

Flashed? Chuck must be hacking again. "Flash" could have something to do with a flash chip for a camera. He's hacking cameras? And this is his job? Morgan hoped they were paying him better than the Buy More did for whatever he was doing.

Sarah said, "Of course we want you to flash, Chuck. Don't worry about him."

The TV came to life with a beep.

A second later a stern woman's voice came through the speakers. "Major. Agent."

'Major' and 'Agent?' That's two names for three people, and neither was Chuck. Does that mean Casey and Sarah and 'Major' and 'Agent?' Morgan knew Casey was in the reserves, but wasn't that a high rank? He didn't know Sarah was a real estate agent or a modeling agent.

A very deep voice came from the TV. "After analyzing the information from Chuck's flash, we need a follow-up mission at XY Corp. First, we need to compile more information. You should be ready to go tomorrow evening. Dismissed."

The TV beeped again and went silent. Morgan figured out when Sarah said they expected "call", they expected a video call. He didn't know the home theater room had a camera. He and Anna would have to find a place with better privacy. With Morgan living at home with his mom and with Anna's living with roommates, that was going to be a challenge.

That was a problem for later. The bigger question was what were they talking about?

Chuck said to the others, "What's with all of the abrupt hang-ups? And it was like I wasn't even there. They didn't even acknowledge I was in the room. A 'Hello, Chuck' would have been nice. You two could have had this meeting without me."

"They don't mean anything by it, Chuck," Sarah said in a soothing voice. "The General and the Director are very busy people. We shouldn't waste their time."

"But what are we supposed to do now?" Chuck asked. Morgan was wondering the same thing. Also, why did Sarah say that it was the General and the Director? What was any of this about?

Casey said, "Based on your flash, Sarah and I already knew where to go. Now, we know we are going tomorrow night. Before then, we'll receive specifics. Whatever they decide, know you aren't going inside with us. You will stay in the car. Think you can manage that for a change?" He left with a grunt and chuckle.

Sarah and Chuck remained in the room. They hadn't come into the home theater room to make out on the couch, after all. Morgan was no longer worried about interrupting that by yelling for help. Instead, he was too confused to call for help, because of everything else he had just heard.

Sarah said to Chuck, "We can go after your shift tomorrow."

"How do you know when my… Never mind. You probably know my shift schedule better than I do. At least with my shift over, I don't have to use the off-site install excuse."

Sarah lightly laughed. "No, not this time. Casey will be happy taxpayer money isn't being wasted. A few months ago, it was a good excuse, but since the store was emptied a couple months ago, people will be looking closer at the Buy More's books. You need to make sure there's always a merchandise sale and paid install, in case there's an audit."

"Originally, I only needed a signed form with anyone's signature," Chuck said, "but now everything has been made more complicated because of the day you guys stole everything out of the Buy More. It's not like everything wasn't put back the next day. Sure, the Mystery Crisper's food had more mold, but no one noticed."

"Well, we didn't want Fulcrum to find you. If Devon hadn't given you Ellie's ring to hide, it all could have turned out badly. Then again, if Jeff and Larry hadn't stolen the fish, we might have found the ring inside it when we inventoried the store." Larry? Oh, she meant Lester. Morgan still didn't know who 'Graham' and 'Beckman' were. One must be 'movie-trailer voice' and the other 'stern lady,' also known as the General and the Director. General and Director of what?

"It all worked out because Jeff got cut off at Bennigan's."

Sarah briefly chuckled. Then she said, "Don't worry about tomorrow night. As long as you stay in the van, everything will be fine."

"Har. Har," Chuck exaggerated a laugh.

"I'm serious. Casey and I could go without you anywhere nearby, but we need to watch you, so you might as well come and stay in the van. Also, we don't need your help, but you're not too bad at breaking into surveillance systems, so you never know."

What van? Jeff's van? Why would Chuck want to stay in that?

Chuck said, "Not too bad, huh? Good to know I'm not dead weight. I'll stay in the van where anyone could find me." Chuck knew what van she meant. It must be a different van because he didn't suggest they take a different car. He'd know better than to get in Jeff's van.

"No one is gonna find you. You'll be fine," Sarah reassured. "Let's go. I'm taking you home."

"I thought I would have to get a ride from Casey. Didn't he hang around?"

"Forget what Casey said earlier about Ellie seeing me. He was messing with you. It's better for the cover if I take you home when our shifts finish at the same time, like they did tonight."

What did she mean by "better for the cover?"

"Ok," Chuck said. "I thought Morgan needed a ride, too, but I couldn't find him earlier. Skip wasn't working today, but Morgan must have gotten a ride from someone else. I need to finish locking up. I'll meet you out front in a minute."

Morgan wasn't sure if he should say something now. He needed help, but saying something now would mean admitting he had been eavesdropping. First, Morgan hadn't wanted to reveal his presence because it'd be creepy. Now, he didn't want to reveal himself because it would mean he was eavesdropping on something he probably wasn't supposed to hear.

Chuck and Sarah both left and shut off the lights. He wondered if Chuck and Sarah ever took advantage of the privacy of the home theater room. Since they knew there were cameras in the room, they probably avoided this room and made out somewhere else. He and Anna needed a new spot.

One positive thing… Morgan knew this hiding place worked. Chuck had looked for him and didn't find him.

Morgan stayed still, not sure what to think of everything he heard. A minute later, the lights went out, and he heard the security gate go down in the front. Back to his problem… He was still under the couch, and he never got a ride home from Chuck. Now it sounded like everyone was gone.

Laying in the dark, Morgan tried to process everything he heard. None of it made sense. Chuck was working with Sarah and Casey for something. It didn't seem like something a food service worker and a Buy More salesman should be doing. Two mysterious voices, one that sounded like a disapproving nun and the other who sounded like he should be promoting movies in trailers, were ordering them around. Those two didn't seem to think at all about Chuck, though it was better than the disdain that Casey had for everyone.

Chuck and Sarah's behavior didn't make sense, either. Morgan was positive that in the privacy of this room after hours, they would be all over each other, but nothing happened. The more he thought about that, it couldn't just be the camera. Chuck would know how to quickly disconnect that. Maybe things between Chuck and Sarah still weren't all good after that thing with Lou last fall. Maybe Sarah had something to do with Lou's closing. The rumor Morgan heard was the deli restaurant was shut down by the Health Inspector and the FDA. Maybe Sarah and Casey were undercover agents with the FDA. And Chuck was working with them.

How did that happen? Morgan came up with a theory. Sarah must have found out that Chuck was the Piranha. Maybe he was trying to impress the beautiful FDA agent with his hacking skills so she would date him, and now he was hacking for them.

None of that explained the store being cleared out and everything showing up again. Why did the FDA do that? Nothing made that make sense, not even the Mystery Crisper's contents. The FDA should have thrown those things out. The Buy More caper and what happened afterwards didn't mean it was likely Sarah was the woman Morgan had seen at the marina when he met Anna's parents. The FDA wouldn't be down at the marina. Chuck said that wasn't true, so it had to be someone else. But the store was emptied, so that did happen. Nothing explained why. Somehow Sarah was involved, and Chuck knew more than what he had told Morgan. Whatever it was, Chuck was in trouble, even though he wasn't stuck under a couch.

For the next half hour, Morgan slowly worked himself out from his hiding place. It was a miracle he got in there to begin with. Maybe it had been long enough since he ate that he lost weight, making him thinner and able to slide out.

By the time Morgan could stand, he collapsed in exhaustion on top of the couch. Sometime later, he looked at his watch. It was almost midnight. He must have fallen asleep. The goal of his work avoidance plan was to not be stuck doing paperwork for an order past 9, so he could get out of there sooner. This night was a complete flop. Not only was he there much later, but he had no ride home. It looked like he was staying in the store all night. Hopefully, there was still grape soda in the machine. There was probably enough in the Mystery Crisper to keep him alive.

A/N: Morgan knows. Sort of. But what does he really know?