A/N: Just a little oneshot of the moment when El tells Mike she loves him. Super fluffy but what else would you expect from a mileven fanfic? El's POV
"I like presents too."
The words slip out of her mouth, and El inwardly curses.
It's not that the words aren't true, she really does like presents. She remembers last Christmas, when the party got together, and threw the best possible party, knowing that it was El's first time celebrating the holiday. They had saved up their money and bought El her own supercomm, and her face had easily lit up the whole room.
She does like presents, and yet the phrase she uttered has much more meaning than her love of gifts. I'm terrified, she was saying. I can't lose you again. I've already lost too much, and Mike, you're the most important thing in the world to me too. I heard you admit that you loved me. I haven't always known what love was, because before you, I didn't have anyone who loved me. But now, because of you, I have a family and friends, people I care about and I now know what love is and I know that I love you. I love you, Mike, I love you and I don't want to lose you, either.
Those are the words burning at her heart, and yet, it is her fondness of gifts that she admitted instead.
"Yeah? Cool, yeah. I...I like presents too," Mike replies, and El can't help but smile at the way his cheeks brighten with his awkward declaration. So they both like presents. Yay.
"Cool," Eleven mutters. The unsaid words weighing on them both.
She turns away from him, her courage slipping, and she feels her heart beating out of her chest. She didn't say it. He didn't say it. And now they were leaving and the last thing they said to each other was how they both liked presents. El sighs and slowly walks away.
By the time she has crossed the room, she knows she has to say something, she can't leave things like this. So she clutches the stuffed bear in her arms and makes a quick decision.
"Mike?" She asks, taking a second to figure out what words she would say. I heard you say you love me. Is that still true?
No- she refutes the idea. That will only make him uncomfortable. She realized how uncomfortable talking about this made him after the moment in the grocery store when he tried so hard to tell her, but kept stumbling and trying to get her to say it instead. Eventually they were interrupted by Dustin's call on the telecomm and that was it. He needs his time, she thinks solemnly. But time isn't exactly on their side. El is leaving. In just a few hours she will be headed to her new home. And before she leaves she needs to tell him how she feels.
El decides to bring up the memory of that day, to gauge his reaction. "Do you remember that day? At the cabin? You were talking to Max."
Mike looks at her blankly, muttering "Um, I don't think I follow," and she worries suddenly that he has forgotten.
She could never forget: sitting in her bedroom, trying to find Billy, having strained so much using her powers, then finally locating him, right when the raised voices caught her attention.
She could tell that it was Mike and Max, but couldn't understand the words, just that they were yelling at each other. It made her sad, because she cared about both of them and didn't want them to fight. She had wondered if she should go out there, to try and stop the arguing, but then Mike's voice rang through, and she was able to make out the words.
"You're treating her like some kind of machine when she's not a machine and I don't want her dying looking for the flayed when they've obviously vanished off the face of the earth. So can we please come up with a new plan because I love her and I can't lose her again!"
She froze.
I love her and I can't lose her again.
She had taken a second, trying to process it all. Love? He loves me? She thought. Her heart felt like it might explode. She couldn't sit still-she had to go to him!-but then she started freaking out, wondering what she was supposed to say? To do? Should she act like nothing happened? Tell him that she heard him? Say it back? Kiss him? She wasn't sure, but she knew she had to go out there. She rose to her feet.
"What's going on?" she asked when she saw the shell-shocked faces of her friends.
This seemed like a safe question. Leaving the choice to him, what he wanted to do now. But all Mike did was avoid her gaze and repeat "Nothing!" a few times, while Lucas added, "Just a family discussion.
"Oh," she replied, simply.
Finally, Mike looked at her and she held his gaze for one long moment. She felt a sort of electric feeling in the air, and she thought, What do I do? But the charged moment ended and she decided to bring up what she was doing in the first place. "I found him."
All of this rushes through her mind as El looks up at Mike, the person she would do anything for. The person she trusts more than anyone. The person she loves.
She really needs him to remember.
"You talked about your feelings, your heart," she prompts.
"Oh, oh yeah that! Man, that was so long ago. Um, I don't know, it was really heat of the moment stuff, and we were arguing," he puts his hand on his neck, and looks down at the floor. "I don't really remember, what did I say exactly?" he asks.
She knows then, that he's not going to say it, and that's okay. But she doesn't want to move all the way across the country without saying the words to him herself.
"Mike," she says, meeting his eyes, and crosses the room to him. She reaches up to hold his face, and suddenly, she feels the same charged electricity that she did all those months ago, meeting his eyes, wondering if he'd say it to her. I love you. El summons the last ounce of courage she needs and says the words: "I love you too."
And then she kisses him. It's in this moment, this kiss, that she pours everything she's been feeling in her heart-her grief, her longing, her pain, and most of all her love-and she revels in the feeling of Mike. She doesn't think about goodbyes-about how this is probably the last time she's going to kiss him for a while-and just soaks in the moment. She kisses him again and again, to show him how she feels. I love you I love you I love you. When she does pull away, she meets his eyes, smiles at him, then turns around squeezing her eyes shut as she feels her heart pound. I can't believe I did it! she thinks.
And somehow, with the words finally said, she feels like she can handle anything that comes her way.
The End